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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you

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Speaker 1: need advice on sex, on dating, on parenting, relationships, whatever,

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Speaker 1: write us okay and more. Submit your Strawberry letter to

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Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We'll try

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Speaker 1: to help you if we can. We can't help everybody,

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Speaker 1: but if we can, we'll try, and we could be

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Speaker 1: reading your letter. Life up surely like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: Spuggle up, hold on tight, We got it for you here.

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Speaker 2: It is a strong baby letter subject.

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Speaker 1: My man says, I went from wop to hop. All right,

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Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty year old mother with

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Speaker 1: three children. My children's father and I have been together

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Speaker 1: over ten years, so let me say this before you

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Speaker 1: bash me. He has asked me to marry him several times,

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Speaker 1: and I respectfully declined because we need to go the

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Speaker 1: therapy before we get married. Here's why my confidence is

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Speaker 1: at an all time low because my children's father has

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Speaker 1: cheated many times. Whenever I confront him, his exact words are,

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Speaker 1: your sex is very boring and you complain too much.

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Speaker 1: When the new Magna Stallion and Cardi B Song came out.

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Speaker 1: He even joked that I've gone from wop to hop,

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Speaker 1: meaning I have horrible ap My response was, well, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't complain.

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Speaker 2: What he said in the letter was horrible. Ass P.

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Speaker 2: You didn't want to say, ass You have to read

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Speaker 2: the letter like we wrote the letter ont of me.

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Speaker 1: You didn't read you didn't write the letter ike anyway,

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Speaker 1: all right, you guys got the message. My response was, well,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't complain as much and would do a better

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Speaker 1: job in the bedroom if you were half the man

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Speaker 1: you used to be. I'm often tired from work and

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Speaker 1: running around with three children, so he blames me for

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Speaker 1: our lackluster sex life and not.

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Speaker 2: Ever being in the mood.

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Speaker 1: I've obliged him many nights and would just lie there

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Speaker 1: trying not to fall asleep until the sex was over.

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Speaker 1: But now, years later, and after all the cheating, it

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Speaker 1: has affected my ability to perform in the bedroom. I've

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Speaker 1: heard it's a mental thing, but I'm not sure why

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Speaker 1: I can't get excited or in the mood. I know

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Speaker 1: that if I can't please him, he's going to get

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Speaker 1: it somewhere else. Just recently, we got into a big

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Speaker 1: argument and he yelled out that I have some.

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Speaker 2: Whack a kitty.

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Speaker 1: He apologized a few minutes later, But this is affecting

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Speaker 1: my confidence. He refuses to go to therapy, So should

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Speaker 1: I take my three children and leave him? Okay, listen,

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Speaker 1: you don't need therapy. You've mentioned therapy a few times

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Speaker 1: in this letter. You need a new man, that's what

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Speaker 1: you need. He's not deserving of you. I mean, what

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Speaker 1: does he do besides put you down and cheat? Ten

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Speaker 1: years of this, ten years of this you've been going through.

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Speaker 1: It has to be enough, that you know, just say enough.

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Speaker 1: This has to be enough for even the strongest and

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Speaker 1: the most confident woman wouldn't be able to deal with

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Speaker 1: this all the time. And here you are doing what

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Speaker 1: so many women do, blaming yourself. I mean, I just say,

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Speaker 1: life happens. Three kids in a full time job that's

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Speaker 1: not easy for anyone, and then he expects you to

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Speaker 1: perform and all of this and blah blah blah. When

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Speaker 1: your man is not right, sex is the last thing

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Speaker 1: on your mind. Let me tell you that the only

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Speaker 1: thing that you were to blame for in this is

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Speaker 1: staying with him, in my opinion, for ten years, and

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Speaker 1: for taking him back repeatedly when he cheats on you,

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Speaker 1: so you don't give him an incentive to stop cheating

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Speaker 1: or anything like that. So I say to you, first

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Speaker 1: thing first, don't worry about from wop to hop and

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Speaker 1: all of that right now, forget all that. You can

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Speaker 1: get that back. He doesn't appreciate it or deserve it anyway.

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Speaker 1: It's just time to get back to yourself. I think

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Speaker 1: you should do you boo right now. Start building up,

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Speaker 1: Start restoring what you have allowed him to tear down

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Speaker 1: in all these years. Fall in love with yourself again.

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Speaker 1: Start putting yourself first. Okay, yourself first, and watch him

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Speaker 1: take notice. If not, don't be afraid to get the

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Speaker 1: kids and move on or put his trifling behind out Steve.

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Speaker 3: You know, Shirley, I agree with every single thing you've said.

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Speaker 3: Great advice to this woman. Of course, my angle is

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Speaker 3: gonna be a little bit different. See, I know how

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Speaker 3: men operate, and what he's doing is the atypical thing

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Speaker 3: when a man get busted or something. Here comes the

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Speaker 3: reverse psychology, Here comes the why I did it? You

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Speaker 3: know now it's thirty year old mother of three, been

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Speaker 3: together ten years. He's asking to Mary, but she's declined

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Speaker 3: respect because she feel like they need to go to

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Speaker 3: counseling before they get married because my confidence is an

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Speaker 3: all time low because he's cheated on her many times.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, cheated on you many times? Why are

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Speaker 3: you still in the relationship the marriage part. This ain't

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Speaker 3: even a discussion. If a man ain't gonna act right

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Speaker 3: before you get married, what makes you think? What thing

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Speaker 3: happens that makes you think that he gonna change after

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Speaker 3: you get married. Remember, like I've said on this show

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Speaker 3: several times, a minister told me one time, when a

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Speaker 3: man gets married, the only thing that changes the day

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Speaker 3: after the wedding is the appearance of his left hand

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Speaker 3: third finger. That's if he is what he was before

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Speaker 3: you got married. Marriage doesn't change anything. Now, if a

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Speaker 3: person you you either practice being married or you don't.

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Speaker 3: You either getting ready used to cotton, cut your little

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Speaker 3: strings out there, all your wild old sewing.

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Speaker 2: Get that out to wait before you get married. That's

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Speaker 2: how you get married.

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Speaker 3: You can't be cheating on this woman repeatedly, steady asking

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Speaker 3: her to marry you.

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Speaker 2: Marry you for what? Man, are you kidding me?

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Speaker 3: And then every time you bust him, his exact words are,

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Speaker 3: your sex is very boring and you complain too much.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, that's not why you're cheating on me.

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Speaker 3: You cheating on me because your ass is a low life.

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Speaker 3: That's why you doing it. Man.

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Speaker 2: Now, when we come back, I have my weight that

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Speaker 2: you should handle this.

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Speaker 1: All right, coming up, we'll have pursuse.

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Speaker 2: Staying in me fun. Okay, oh okay.

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Speaker 1: At twenty three after the hour, subject of my strawberry

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Speaker 1: letter for today is my man says I went from

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Speaker 1: Wop to hop. We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 1: You're listening Hardy Morning show. All right, Steve, come on,

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Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letters. My man says, I went

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Speaker 1: from Wop to hop.

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Speaker 2: This letter right here kind of hurt.

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Speaker 3: So Shirley gave this woman some spot on advice that

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Speaker 3: I agree with thousand percent. Thirty year old woman, three

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Speaker 3: children have been together with her man ten years and

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Speaker 3: she's asked he's asked her to marry him several times,

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Speaker 3: but she's respectfully declined.

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Speaker 2: Why you did it respectfully?

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Speaker 3: I don't know, because I found out he wasn't treating

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Speaker 3: you with no respect at all. But you respectfully decline

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Speaker 3: because you say you need to go to therapy before

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Speaker 3: you get married, because your confidence as an all time

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Speaker 3: low because he has cheated on you many times. Now,

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Speaker 3: here's the thing. When you confront him, his exact words are,

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Speaker 3: your sex is very boring and you complain too much.

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Speaker 3: Wait a minute, that that's why he's cheated on you

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Speaker 3: many times. But he stayed with you for ten years,

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Speaker 3: made three kids. It's and he's telling you that your sex.

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Speaker 2: Is very boring.

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Speaker 3: He showed keep coming over there a lot for this

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Speaker 3: boring sex.

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Speaker 2: Three kids.

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Speaker 3: Now, when the new man Stallion and Cardi B Song

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Speaker 3: came out, he joked that I've gone from him wop

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Speaker 3: to a hop hap and in the words of his letter,

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Speaker 3: meaning I have a horrible ass p okay not dog. Really,

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Speaker 3: this is mental abuse. I understand the woman's confidence being shattered.

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Speaker 3: I understand that, but dog, So you're gonna use reverse psychology.

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Speaker 3: So you're telling this woman the reason you cheat because

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Speaker 3: she got bad sex. Wait a minute, and then lady, Now,

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Speaker 3: now you got close. Lady, here's why I started to

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Speaker 3: have hope for you. My response was, well, I wouldn't

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Speaker 3: complain as much and would do a better job in

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Speaker 3: the bedroom if you were half the man you you

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Speaker 3: used to be. Nah, that's why I want to get

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Speaker 3: at in this letter. See, oh, you stinging me talking

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Speaker 3: about it. I got a horrible pee. Let's talk about

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Speaker 3: Joe pee. See right now, See if you gonna talk

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Speaker 3: about my pee, then we need to talk about choke pee.

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Speaker 3: See I might have a hop or horrible ass p.

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Speaker 3: But you got something wrong with you too, because you

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Speaker 3: just said he half the man he used to be.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot smaller.

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Speaker 2: You're scaring me.

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Speaker 3: See so now you got a lap. See you got

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Speaker 3: a halp, You got a horrible ast pe, and he

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Speaker 3: got a lap.

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Speaker 2: He got a little last pe. See what I'm saying.

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Speaker 2: See then what we got to do? We were doing initials.

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Speaker 3: Now, oh I gotta happen. You got a lap, You

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Speaker 3: gotta pee. Now we in here talking about each other. Pete,

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Speaker 3: let's spread to pee round. Make my funk the p funk.

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Speaker 3: I wants to get funked up. I want the bomb,

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Speaker 3: I want the pe funk. I want my funk funked up.

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Speaker 3: Make my funk the p funk. I want you to

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Speaker 3: get funked up. That's what you ought to play. The

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Speaker 3: next time, y'all head to the bathroom and they head

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Speaker 3: to the bedroom. I want something to happen to me.

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Speaker 3: But you ain't half the land you used to be,

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Speaker 3: cause you the shrunk, your fight ass stomach is leaning

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Speaker 3: over your belt. I can't find it. You can't find it.

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Speaker 3: Now you're over here talking about mind horrible. It's cause

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Speaker 3: you little. Now we doing so all you can go

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Speaker 3: all you can go lop. You gotta lousy old poker.

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Speaker 3: See your poker is lousy. All you can be a

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Speaker 3: lap you gotta you gotta limp ass poker. See you

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Speaker 3: can use we can use initials all day. See one

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Speaker 3: thing about it, ladies. You can bruise your man's ego

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Speaker 3: or we're in the ego bruising business. Yeah, you ain't

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Speaker 3: as exciting in the bedroom, no more so because he

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Speaker 3: don't excite you no more.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you don't need you need.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to give it to him like he

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Speaker 3: giving it to you. It ain't what it was because

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Speaker 3: you ain't what you was. You don't even know what

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Speaker 3: colored shoes you got on, What color your shoes? Just

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Speaker 3: look straight down, what color your shoes?

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Speaker 2: You don't even know.

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Speaker 1: I went through that when I was pregnant.

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Speaker 2: See you don't know that.

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Speaker 3: See but men, see it's okay for a woman to

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Speaker 3: do that when she pregnant. Y'all have a baby in there,

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Speaker 3: But some of us can't look down because we ain't

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Speaker 3: even got no baby. We just look like we in

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Speaker 3: our second try message. See, you got to bring this

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Speaker 3: up to him. You ain't got to be the only

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Speaker 3: one taking shot. And now years later, after all the cheating,

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Speaker 3: it's affected your ability to perform in the bedroom. I've

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Speaker 3: heard it's a mental thing, but I'm not sure why

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Speaker 3: I can't get excited or in the mood.

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Speaker 2: Well, let me help you. You can't get excited because

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Speaker 2: he ain't exciting you. He ain't doing nothing. And when

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Speaker 2: he gets there, you're about to fall asleep. Are these

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Speaker 2: his kids? Yeah? Theyin't his kids? Then it must have

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Speaker 2: been good at some point, that's what I said.

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Speaker 3: That's what I said, you know, and they all live

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Speaker 3: kids because he can, because he loved and he made

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Speaker 3: little kids, all his kids real little underside down there

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Speaker 3: at the school. That's why I ain't none of them

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Speaker 3: playing basketball, none of this. See, y'all going to sting

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Speaker 3: his ass Now, y'all got the big ass argument. Recently,

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Speaker 3: he yelled out that he got some whack ass kiddy.

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Speaker 3: Then he gonna apologize a few minutes later.

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Speaker 2: Well you well, well you got a whack ass Well

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Speaker 2: we can't. I just said it.

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Speaker 3: Well, yours is whack too, So we just in here,

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Speaker 3: just both serving up just bad sex. No where you're going,

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Speaker 3: you gotta keep cheating because every time you cheat with somebody,

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Speaker 3: they don't want it no more. So you gotta go

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Speaker 3: get some money else to cheat to. Their boy found

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Speaker 3: out what I.

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Speaker 1: Have on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on

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Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on

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Speaker 1: demand too. You're listening to the Dave Harvey Morning Show.