Speaker 1: The Nikki Glaser podcastser.
Speaker 2: Here's Nikki. Hello here, I am welcome to the show.
Speaker 2: It's the Nikky Glazer Podcast. Thanks for listening. I'm Nicki Glazer.
Speaker 2: Everyone here. Uh Noah, Hi, Brian, Hi, you're on camera.
Speaker 2: Don't forget to look ahead. Sometimes I watch the YouTube
Speaker 2: and I'm like, we're all just like looking down in
Speaker 2: the corner, like we're just recording audio.
Speaker 3: And well, no, this is realistic for me because I
Speaker 3: don't make eye contact with you.
Speaker 2: That's a good point. Okay, Sorry, you're giving the viewers
Speaker 2: of the real experience. I'm in front of you, okay.
Speaker 2: And Shad O'Connor also is joining us. Hey, hey, oh,
Speaker 2: listen to that crispy clean, crystal clear mic.
Speaker 4: I got a mic now, yeah, you can hear how
Speaker 4: terrible my voice is.
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 2: You just have the option to put the headphones into
Speaker 2: the mic so that you could hear your own voice.
Speaker 2: And Noah, Noah had offered that, and you said, god, no, no,
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear my own voice. You opted out.
Speaker 2: I don't mind hearing my own voice when it's live.
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear it later, right, Yeah, the
Speaker 2: same for me. Do you feel the same way.
Speaker 1: Oh, yes, yes, I like hearing my voice live.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I want to hear because it makes me feel
Speaker 3: like I'm being recorded and then I, I don't know,
Speaker 3: I feel like it like gives me a little bit
Speaker 3: of a boost.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it makes me feel like I'm on stage.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like it's like as the would be doing stand up
Speaker 2: in your room as opposed to like, honest, it's the
Speaker 2: stakes are higher.
Speaker 4: Interesting, I'm the exact opposite. I never want to hear myself, Honestly,
Speaker 4: when I whenever I paid too close attention to how
Speaker 4: I sound on stage, all I hear is like a
Speaker 4: ping on the mic, and then I just start thinking
Speaker 4: about that the entire time. I just like I like
Speaker 4: to pretend we're not being recorded, so I could be
Speaker 4: super unfiltered.
Speaker 2: Oh see, that's so interesting, because I'm way better when
Speaker 2: I'm the pressure's on, and I am not good at
Speaker 2: all when the pressure's off. Like I look at like
Speaker 2: video that Emily takes with me over the weekend to
Speaker 2: like make into a reel, and if I don't think
Speaker 2: I'm being recorded or I haven't like prepared something to do,
Speaker 2: I am so uncharismatic. I look like a child laborer
Speaker 2: in the like eighteen oh nine or something like that.
Speaker 2: The joy is drained from my face. I'm like, kind
Speaker 2: of there's like I'm devoid of talent. I can't even
Speaker 2: I can't. I'm like, why did I even think I
Speaker 2: could do a reality show at any point where I
Speaker 2: would be interesting all the time. I'm so boring to
Speaker 2: watch most of the time. And then then Kirsten's mom
Speaker 2: did a really good impression of me as a child
Speaker 2: or as a teenager, because she said that, you know,
Speaker 2: people ask her what I was like, and it's just
Speaker 2: crossed arms, staring at the ground, like kind of looking pissed,
Speaker 2: like biting my lip, and that is like I think
Speaker 2: that's based on the footage that Emily's taken of me.
Speaker 2: I think that is my stasis.
Speaker 1: That's interesting.
Speaker 3: I don't have You don't get any benefit from doing
Speaker 3: anything other than getting praise or like, you need to
Speaker 3: be watched and seen, and you need to get that
Speaker 3: praise from people watching you so much so that if
Speaker 3: no one's watching you, you can feel get nothing out
Speaker 3: of your own personal Yeah.
Speaker 2: I mean, but I will go as far as to
Speaker 2: say I'm well, I'm having a really bad self esteem day,
Speaker 2: so let's just take everything I say with a thousand
Speaker 2: grains of salt. But I had to watch you know
Speaker 2: that we're working on putting together a highlight reel of
Speaker 2: my career for like the intro video for my tour,
Speaker 2: and I had to watch that today, and I'm just like,
Speaker 2: why is this bitch famous? Like what have you done?
Speaker 2: Like you are just so bored? Like I just like
Speaker 2: was like I was like an internet troll on myself.
Speaker 2: I wanted to cyberbowld it myself so hard I could
Speaker 2: have taken me down so bad, and like I think,
Speaker 2: I'm just constantly. I just was like I came home
Speaker 2: and I was at Starbucks watching it because I have
Speaker 2: been avoiding watching it forever because I don't want to
Speaker 2: watch myself and I don't want to have to give
Speaker 2: notes on it. But you have to because if I
Speaker 2: don't give notes on it, then Chris and Emily just
Speaker 2: give notes and then when it's not up to stuff,
Speaker 2: when I eventually have to see it, I'll be like
Speaker 2: I hate it, and they'll be like, well, you didn't
Speaker 2: give notes, so I have to watch it. I'm at
Speaker 2: Starbucks watching it, and I came home and I like
Speaker 2: was crying to Chris about how I just can't. I
Speaker 2: can't be. I can't do this anymore.
Speaker 1: I just can't.
Speaker 2: I can't. I think I'm quitting. I just can't. I
Speaker 2: can't believe anyone is entertained by me. I can't believe
Speaker 2: that I've tricked everyone, like imposter syndrome is is working
Speaker 2: overtime today, like I'm just like and then I had
Speaker 2: to watch a highlight reel of my life that I'm
Speaker 2: just like, just give up already, Like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but listen, now you have it for your funeral,
Speaker 5: which is great.
Speaker 2: I just want to be buried in an unmarked grave
Speaker 2: no one can find me. I want them. I want
Speaker 2: what everyone talks about is about how you can't find
Speaker 2: my grave, so that everyone doesn't focus on my lack
Speaker 2: of talent.
Speaker 1: I don't even send you.
Speaker 3: Like if we made a highlight reel of like ten
Speaker 3: fifteen people that are even more famous than you, I
Speaker 3: think you'll you'd see why you're famous. Also, I mean,
Speaker 3: like no one else has like nobody has any If
Speaker 3: you look at just highlights of people, very few people
Speaker 3: unless you're an athlete, have actual talent.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I agree. I think that's why I told about
Speaker 2: the highlight reel. I don't want any jokes. I don't
Speaker 2: want any like setup punch. I don't want to hear
Speaker 2: the audience watching this video and not laughing because they're
Speaker 2: not in the They're not in the show right, like
Speaker 2: they're not in the performance where that joke had context.
Speaker 2: And so I said, I only want non sequitur. And
Speaker 2: I had requested on secutor to begin with, but I
Speaker 2: almost I did the snarky thing of looking up the
Speaker 2: definition of it to put it in the email, to
Speaker 2: like unless keys, you don't know what it means. It means,
Speaker 2: it means nothing outside, it means completely it's completely unteched.
Speaker 2: But then I didn't do that because I'm like, they
Speaker 2: know what that means. So I just wanted to be
Speaker 2: like little like moments here and there that aren't trying
Speaker 2: to be funny, like I don't want anyone to laugh
Speaker 2: at this reel.
Speaker 3: But the audience does. The audience would laugh at the
Speaker 3: reel if you put jokes in there. I mean I've
Speaker 3: seen a million pre roll like here's what's coming up
Speaker 3: next at the Comedy Addict videos, and people do laugh
Speaker 3: at the bits played before you.
Speaker 1: They if it's good. They do?
Speaker 5: They do? It is weird.
Speaker 4: I was always like, oh, no, like I remember being
Speaker 4: at the Comedy Addict and.
Speaker 2: Knowing that your video video had played the week before or.
Speaker 5: No, I was more.
Speaker 4: I was more like they played Napergatzi before me, and
Speaker 4: I was like, I don't think I'm gonna do as well.
Speaker 2: I can't follow this. Yeah, oh that's funny. I always
Speaker 2: was like, oh my god, that means that my video
Speaker 2: was playing all last week during someone else's shows, and
Speaker 2: like that comic had to see me bomb in front
Speaker 2: of them.
Speaker 1: No, your videos crushed. I saw those videos.
Speaker 2: Okay, thank you, Yeah, very good videos. I don't mean
Speaker 2: to be like when when tell me how great I am.
Speaker 2: I'm more trying to relate maybe anyone else can relate to,
Speaker 2: just feeling like what like fraudulent and what's the point
Speaker 2: and like, oh my god, I have to like keep
Speaker 2: this up. I feel like what's his name, Leonardo DiCaprio
Speaker 2: in that movie where he just is like pretending to
Speaker 2: be other people and he can't stop or he'll just
Speaker 2: like he has no other thing to do. Yeah, catch
Speaker 2: me if you can. I'm kind of feeling like that.
Speaker 3: Change your perspective on what that pre roll video is
Speaker 3: supposed to be. It's not necessarily supposed to be there
Speaker 3: to entertain or to make people laugh. It's supposed to
Speaker 3: be there to get people amped.
Speaker 1: I just a lie.
Speaker 2: To me, though, that feels dishonest because it's like are
Speaker 2: you ready, and it's like the words like come out,
Speaker 2: and it's like it's time for look and it's just
Speaker 2: like and it's like just it's too it feels like
Speaker 2: I don't I don't like what it. I can't follow
Speaker 2: that in other words, like I really can't, and like
Speaker 2: it's just me going like, huh, I guess I've always
Speaker 2: wanted to. Like it's about like I don't know. I
Speaker 2: think I'm just gonna kill it. Like it's all these
Speaker 2: confident moments where I've like had enough caffeine and my
Speaker 2: system and just was in a good enough mood on
Speaker 2: the red carpet and like and thinking about like messages
Speaker 2: I want to send to younger girls instead of like
Speaker 2: whatever this is that I'm talking about. That's probably a
Speaker 2: bad example for younger girls of me hating on myself
Speaker 2: so that they go, well, I don't achieve as much
Speaker 2: as you that I should probably think I'm worthless. That's
Speaker 2: not what I'm saying. I'm just saying it's never enough,
Speaker 2: and I'm just having a bad day.
Speaker 1: I'm just tired.
Speaker 2: And today is a day on my schedule that says
Speaker 2: no work, and I it says, I want once every
Speaker 2: ten days. I want a day with nothing to do nothing,
Speaker 2: and fuck it does it's fine, like the podcast whatever,
Speaker 2: it's like I can be myself and let my hair down.
Speaker 1: But well, no work is that it is short for
Speaker 1: nothing's working? Did you know that?
Speaker 5: Oh that's true, that's true.
Speaker 1: That's just how it feels.
Speaker 3: Look at the video. Look at the video. It's not
Speaker 3: for you, it's not it's not meant to make you
Speaker 3: feel good. Look at it in the perspective of the audience,
Speaker 3: and if you're buying a ticket and you're coming to
Speaker 3: see the Nicky Glazer show, you want to see that
Speaker 3: video and get amped, even though you feel like you
Speaker 3: might not be able to meet that bar that you're setting.
Speaker 3: For the audience's sake, it is awesome to see like
Speaker 3: essentially a trailer for your favorite comedian before they come
Speaker 3: out in stage.
Speaker 1: Think about like the.
Speaker 3: Bird shows, or if you've ever seen like an Andrew
Speaker 3: Schultz Show like you like, I'm sure they did this
Speaker 3: in Vegas at the Burt Show, right, didn't They play
Speaker 3: like essentially a trailer for Bert.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but those guys just believe in themselves like that,
Speaker 2: that's like genuine behind it. I'm in the back chugging
Speaker 2: as Celsius, trying to feel something as this video is playing,
Speaker 2: and I'm cringing because I'm like, oh, this isn't me
Speaker 2: like a better video. Like That's why I love bo
Speaker 2: Burdham's song about I wanna I want to I want
Speaker 2: to make you laugh, but I also don't respect you
Speaker 2: for laughing at me because I don't think that I'm
Speaker 2: good enough. I want to care what you think, but
Speaker 2: not care what you think. I want to give you
Speaker 2: the night out that you deserve, but I also want
Speaker 2: to do what I want to do, which is probably
Speaker 2: against what you even like, Like, I feel like not
Speaker 2: that I don't. I don't. I do respect my crowd,
Speaker 2: That's that's uh. Absolutely, I actually I respect my crowd
Speaker 2: more than ever now because I'm like, I'm doing weirder
Speaker 2: stuff than I've ever done and they're still by my side.
Speaker 2: But I just feel, yeah, I just I don't I
Speaker 2: don't know what the feeling is.
Speaker 1: I'm just like it's getting too big.
Speaker 2: I feel too big and I can't fill those shoes
Speaker 2: like I felt better in like smaller theaters. Now I
Speaker 2: feel like I when I'm there in the moment. I
Speaker 2: don't want anyone to come into my shows thinking I'm
Speaker 2: not having a good time and I'm not like in it,
Speaker 2: and I don't like feel like I deserve it in
Speaker 2: the moment, because I actually do. When I'm out on
Speaker 2: the stage, like all of this stuff goes away. It
Speaker 2: really does. That's actually the reason I keep doing it.
Speaker 2: It's like it's the fuel that makes me feel like
Speaker 2: none of none of these like apprehensions I have or
Speaker 2: you know, insecurities I have, it all disappears on stage.
Speaker 2: So it's like, yeah, it is real and and I
Speaker 2: don't I would never want to, and I will tell
Speaker 2: you the truth, Like if I was miserable on stage,
Speaker 2: I would I would say that, but I really am not.
Speaker 2: So I don't want anyone coming into my shows thinking
Speaker 2: I'm like, WHOA, I don't want to do this. I
Speaker 2: will say that I'm dreading it until I step out
Speaker 2: on stage, But the second I step on the stage.
Speaker 2: I am having so much fun and I am not
Speaker 2: looking at the clock waiting for it to be over.
Speaker 2: The only time I've ever felt that way really is
Speaker 2: at that Cabo show that we did Sean like where
Speaker 2: we bomb. That's the only time I'm watching the clock,
Speaker 2: like when is this over? Otherwise I am loving it,
Speaker 2: but I'm dreading any I've dread everything. I dread going
Speaker 2: out to dinner, I dread. No, I don't. I don't
Speaker 2: love going out to dinner because I don't have to perform,
Speaker 2: but I dread any time I have to be on.
Speaker 2: And then when I am on, I'm having a good time.
Speaker 1: That yeah, for sure.
Speaker 4: To go back to Brian's point is you could have
Speaker 4: the hype video and it could be like super like
Speaker 4: you are the Chicago Bulls in the nineties, like really
Speaker 4: hyped up, and then you could get two minutes of
Speaker 4: just undercutting it as soon as you walk on on phage.
Speaker 5: Right.
Speaker 2: That's a good idea. I mean one time I did
Speaker 2: that because I used to have one of these reels
Speaker 2: that was kind of like really selling it, and I
Speaker 2: went out and I had a moment where I said,
Speaker 2: did you all enjoy that video that I had put
Speaker 2: together so that you would walk away feeling entertained tonight
Speaker 2: because I don't feel like this show is good enough
Speaker 2: and at least you saw that and that was impressive, like,
Speaker 2: and then they were just confused, Like people are confused
Speaker 2: when I shood on myself because it doesn't go with
Speaker 2: what the night looks like and it's not what they
Speaker 2: think of. Yeahs, and I have to kind of they
Speaker 2: don't see you like that. Yeah, And I know I
Speaker 2: shouldn't even reveal this is how I feel about myself
Speaker 2: because no one wants there like someone that they I
Speaker 2: don't want to say the word idolized or like like
Speaker 2: are entertained by thinking like, I don't know if it
Speaker 2: makes it's probably bad for business to say that. I'm
Speaker 2: insecure and I don't think I'm going but I'm human
Speaker 2: and that's what's going on in my head. And I
Speaker 2: feel like I feel like most artists feel this way.
Speaker 1: If they're telling why don't you just not not watch
Speaker 1: the video.
Speaker 2: Because I know that I will see it when I'm
Speaker 2: off stage and I will go why did you put
Speaker 2: that one thing in that's so embarrassing? No, I'm like,
Speaker 2: you know, in the wings of the state, so at
Speaker 2: least hear it, and I will hear it, and hearing
Speaker 2: is worse than seeing. If I could watch it, I'm mute.
Speaker 2: I would be fine with it. I would have no notes.
Speaker 4: But what if we put you on wires so you're
Speaker 4: above the stage so after you drop down?
Speaker 2: Oh god, I don't know. That's There's got to be
Speaker 2: a solution. I think I'm just tired.
Speaker 3: What about playing the video at the beginning of the
Speaker 3: show and then Sean has to come out and undercut
Speaker 3: the video?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to follow it. Do you ever feel
Speaker 2: that way of like even when you're like in when
Speaker 2: you're having like these great a great moment in your life,
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, this just means I have to keep it.
Speaker 2: Like I really feel like if I had a kid,
Speaker 2: I'd just be like I would just be worried about it,
Speaker 2: Like what if it goes away? Like you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, Like you can't even enjoy something because you're
Speaker 2: just so worried about when it will go away or
Speaker 2: when you know, Like I keep thinking about, oh, you know,
Speaker 2: I'm playing these giant venues and selling out multiple shows
Speaker 2: next time around, everyone will make fun of me when
Speaker 2: I only do three shows in Boston and not six,
Speaker 2: and they'll go like, yes, Nicky's failing now, and they'll
Speaker 2: like they'll like talk about it amongst themselves and say, well,
Speaker 2: she had a big year, but then everyone figured it
Speaker 2: out or whatever, like do you think about that stuff?
Speaker 1: I have the exact opposite.
Speaker 3: Whenever something really good happens for me, I get mad,
Speaker 3: and because I'm so bitter, I'm just like, it's about
Speaker 3: fucking time, Like why did it take this fucking long?
Speaker 2: The hell that way in my whole life.
Speaker 4: No, I'm just like I always just think when something
Speaker 4: good happens to me, I'm like, what if I just
Speaker 4: die right now?
Speaker 2: I like that. I like that because then you have
Speaker 2: it and you never have to do it and you
Speaker 2: never disappoint anyone. That is like honestly, sometimes I go like,
Speaker 2: I think that's the best case scenario for me of
Speaker 2: having like because everyone loves the story of like what
Speaker 2: could that girl have been? What would her potential have been?
Speaker 2: And you can just go bananas thinking about like what
Speaker 2: a life this woman could have led, And the truth
Speaker 2: is it would have been probably mediocre, right, Like that
Speaker 2: most things are eventually, and so I kind of want
Speaker 2: to get something and then like.
Speaker 3: You know, well, that's then the trailer becomes an immemorial
Speaker 3: and maybe that's what it should be.
Speaker 1: Maybe it should is going to be popular.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's that in the real I didn't even
Speaker 2: think about that. All right, We're gonna go to break
Speaker 2: and I'll come back in a better mood by all right,
Speaker 2: feeling better.
Speaker 1: We just watched hype video before it during the break.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm back. I'm just I just don't know. Some days,
Speaker 2: it's just like, what's the point of all of this?
Speaker 2: You just have to keep eating and working out and
Speaker 2: trying to get rest and unpacking and cleaning your clothes
Speaker 2: and packing again. And I keep thinking that maybe the
Speaker 2: point of all of this be based on Instagram reels
Speaker 2: that eventually show up on my feet at three am
Speaker 2: once I've exhausted everything else. But the point of life
Speaker 2: is love, and I just don't even know what the
Speaker 2: fuck that means. No, or because I don't think it
Speaker 2: is because then I see Elon screaming at me, and
Speaker 2: or you know, like happiness, but like happiness is clean
Speaker 2: clothes that will eventually get dirty and I have to
Speaker 2: clean again.
Speaker 3: Happiness, Happiness is unhappiness it is striving towards something that
Speaker 3: is so far away that your life is dedicated towards
Speaker 3: getting that thing. And it seems like once people do
Speaker 3: reach that pinnacle and achieve that thing, they realize that,
Speaker 3: oh my god, what was the point of all this,
Speaker 3: and then they lose even the concept of possibly being happy.
Speaker 3: Whereas if you're poor and you're working a nine to
Speaker 3: five and you're like, I gotta make enough money so
Speaker 3: that I can finally quit this job and go to
Speaker 3: you know, Bermuda, at the concept of being happy in
Speaker 3: the future is still something you have. But once you
Speaker 3: achieve that and you can just fly to Bermuda, make
Speaker 3: your job, you goton Okay.
Speaker 6: Hard disagree, hard disass.
Speaker 2: Why I like gooning is because it's it's it's the
Speaker 2: promise of something good that is down the pike or
Speaker 2: pipe or whatever. They say, yeah, and it's not it
Speaker 2: hasn't arrived jets, because once it arrives, it's only going
Speaker 2: to go away. It cannot it can maintain, but it's
Speaker 2: going to be really hard. It's not gonna fee as
Speaker 2: good as when you first got it, So it's diminishing
Speaker 2: returns no matter what or it goes away, it doesn't
Speaker 2: get really better. Okay, No, what's hard to disagree.
Speaker 6: Okay, hard disagree because I feel like that kind of
Speaker 6: focuses on the financial aspects, which yeah, okay, that will
Speaker 6: make people less stress, but I don't know if that
Speaker 6: equates happiness. Happiness is what I learned over the weekend
Speaker 6: is the ability to empathize and emotional regulation. So if
Speaker 6: you can regulate your emotions and be an empathetic person,
Speaker 6: that means that you have a great social circle and
Speaker 6: really meaningful friendships and stuff.
Speaker 4: Oh that's so, that's so inspiring because to me, I
Speaker 4: was going to hard disagree with both of you and say,
Speaker 4: happiness is looking at your phone.
Speaker 2: Let's yeah, let's talk about what makes when we are
Speaker 2: genuinely that happy as we are.
Speaker 1: That's dopamine. I mean, if you want to equate happiness.
Speaker 2: Isn't isn't dope happiness? How the fuck do you? That's
Speaker 2: the that's the that's the thing that goes off in
Speaker 2: your that's the chemical that's rushing through your no system.
Speaker 1: Happy dope?
Speaker 3: If not, when you're happy, dopamine is a chemical that's
Speaker 3: meant that's meant to get you to do something to
Speaker 3: make you happy.
Speaker 1: That's what dopamine is.
Speaker 3: So when you're looking at your phone, you're searching for
Speaker 3: happiness and you're getting this feedback that, oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm getting closer to the thing that's gonna make me.
Speaker 2: Fact makes me happy, though, dopamine is what makes me happy.
Speaker 2: I do not like. I just realized I don't like happiness.
Speaker 2: I like.
Speaker 4: I'm hard agreeing with Nikki, I don't actually know what
Speaker 4: real happiness is.
Speaker 1: To be meditating, I don't have to.
Speaker 2: I want to meditate so bad, but I am sometimes
Speaker 2: I'm too depressed today to meditate, like I have no
Speaker 2: hope today, like that when you're in like that kind
Speaker 2: of depression, I don't have I don't care about the cure.
Speaker 2: I don't want to find it. I don't want to
Speaker 2: do your little exercise Nikki from last week, who was
Speaker 2: like hopeful about meditating, I don't want to do it.
Speaker 2: I don't even care about feeling happy. It's pointless because
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna feel like this again because last week
Speaker 2: I felt happy, and now I feel like this again.
Speaker 2: What is the goddamn point? That's how I'm feeling today.
Speaker 2: But I will say that the happiest I am is
Speaker 2: when I am done with something and I get to
Speaker 2: be on my phone in my bed watching as MR
Speaker 2: videos with one AirPod in the other, not because I
Speaker 2: have to sleep on my side. And if you sleep
Speaker 2: your ear into the pillow with an AirPod and it
Speaker 2: goes hair. Do you guys have that same thing happen
Speaker 2: if it pushes in your ear too much.
Speaker 1: I just put on a speaker, you do.
Speaker 2: I don't want I can't have Chris hearing me listen
Speaker 2: to these Asian women. I can't have him here these
Speaker 2: tiny Asian women eating cakes at two times the speed.
Speaker 1: I can't have that.
Speaker 4: You don't want to know that that will make him horny.
Speaker 2: Or I like it's too embarrassing what I listen to,
Speaker 2: But that is that is my happiness. And then having
Speaker 2: the dog has already pooped and peed recently, that is
Speaker 2: also happy. She's tucked in the bed next to me.
Speaker 2: She's not like wanting to play, She's been like exercised enough. Okay,
Speaker 2: so dot dog is done. I'm I have nothing on
Speaker 2: my to do list. I'm in on do not Disturb,
Speaker 2: and no one's waiting for a reply for me on something.
Speaker 2: And I have at least eleven hours ahead of me
Speaker 2: with nothing to do.
Speaker 5: That is happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I have to wake up.
Speaker 3: I agree with that, and then you're just free. Even
Speaker 3: more than eleven hours would be.
Speaker 2: Nice, Like oh, I mean, I'm not getting greedy here.
Speaker 1: I mean I would.
Speaker 2: It would be amazing. The two ful days does not
Speaker 2: exist today. I'm supposed to have nothing to do. And
Speaker 2: I woke up and Emily is so sweet. She like
Speaker 2: text me every morning with my to do, like I
Speaker 2: need a response on this, and it's like numbered one
Speaker 2: through literally forty eight, and it's like and I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is not a day off. When I wake up
Speaker 2: at seven am to walk my dog and there's a
Speaker 2: nine point checklists and I know Emily's gonna text me
Speaker 2: right now being like, oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I love the list, Emily, and you need that information
Speaker 2: like that is that is a crucial. But like I
Speaker 2: had to wake up this morning and I know this
Speaker 2: is like Nikki, I would kill for your life. I
Speaker 2: know there's a thousand people thinking that right now, at
Speaker 2: least of but I had to wake up this morning
Speaker 2: and go through all of the pictures from this weekend,
Speaker 2: which I don't want to see because I've recently gained weight,
Speaker 2: I didn't have a spray tant and I didn't like
Speaker 2: a lot of the dresses that I put on my body,
Speaker 2: and I and my face is just doing things I
Speaker 2: don't like right now, and my hair is breaking off,
Speaker 2: so I look like I always have like a halo
Speaker 2: and I've been to the Magic House. If you're Frond
Speaker 2: Saint Louis, you know what I'm talking about, and it's
Speaker 2: like hair sticking up on end, like it's so anyway,
Speaker 2: I was going through all these pictures, then I had
Speaker 2: to format them, then I have to post them. Then
Speaker 2: I have to write a caption that's like and then
Speaker 2: I just picture like a comedian reading my captions and
Speaker 2: being like, she's too sincere, she should be funny, And
Speaker 2: then I try to think of something funny, and then
Speaker 2: I just give up because I'm like, I don't want
Speaker 2: to try. I hate trying to be funny. It's like
Speaker 2: so exhausting, so that I'm just sincere. And then I
Speaker 2: post it and I don't look at it. I just
Speaker 2: I wish I was that cool of a girl. Like
Speaker 2: there's some girls that just really make this look so easy,
Speaker 2: and they they're like very high fashion, but they're still relatable.
Speaker 3: The only people that are consistently happy one hundred percent
Speaker 3: of the time are idiots. I mean that's like the
Speaker 3: people who are walking through life constantly happy. You have
Speaker 3: no idea what's going on, have no conception of like
Speaker 3: how they're perceived.
Speaker 1: And that's that's true.
Speaker 2: They're driving cyber trucks. I think the people that are happy.
Speaker 1: Those people are like the hangriest people on the planet.
Speaker 2: I know they're narcissist happy where they don't know that
Speaker 2: they're not happy, but they don't know what comes from
Speaker 2: a place of insecurity.
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, I get that. I get that, But I
Speaker 1: feel like cyber truck.
Speaker 3: The reason why you buy a cyber truck is because
Speaker 3: you're so angry and embittered with the world that you
Speaker 3: just want to be in constant troll mode. Your whole
Speaker 3: life is I want to get into several confrontations today.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is the this is the quickest way.
Speaker 3: The quickest route is by buying a cyber truck and
Speaker 3: driving our around town.
Speaker 4: Yeah, here's what I'll say. I don't think anyone's happy.
Speaker 4: I think people are happy at times. I think we're
Speaker 4: all happy at times, but I don't think consistently happy
Speaker 4: is actually a way that you can actually live that is, like,
Speaker 4: like I think you you have to.
Speaker 5: It's all a roller coaster.
Speaker 4: There's ups and downs, and now me, I'm on SSRI
Speaker 4: so I never even have an up or a down.
Speaker 5: I am just.
Speaker 2: Really was craving those today. I was craving feeling nothing
Speaker 2: today so much because it's just so hard to to
Speaker 2: to like fake it.
Speaker 3: They're all like some people though, who are psychotically happy
Speaker 3: all the time. And we met a couple of them. Uh,
Speaker 3: who's the We met that Nick Swisher?
Speaker 1: Nick Swisher, remember him?
Speaker 5: He was happy?
Speaker 1: Mm legend he's happy all the time.
Speaker 3: And then that guy we interviewed from the Not Safe
Speaker 3: podcast who lived in the back of OJC Sin's house,
Speaker 3: Kato kato'kalin. He seems constantly psychotically happy.
Speaker 1: Happy.
Speaker 2: No way is Kato Kalin happy?
Speaker 1: Okay?
Speaker 3: Well, Nick Swisher at least is a great example of
Speaker 3: someone who is somehow figured out how to be one
Speaker 3: hundred percent happy one hundred percent of the time.
Speaker 4: I tell you how, he's a baseball player and they
Speaker 4: don't think about anything outside of basement. That's right, nice
Speaker 4: and like I was watching a clip today of like
Speaker 4: the Mets First Basement, Pete Alonso is signing a ball
Speaker 4: for a child that's spring training, and like he just
Speaker 4: looks at the kid and goes school sucks, Right, I
Speaker 4: feel like that was like a perfect encapsulation of the
Speaker 4: baseball player's brek.
Speaker 1: Yeah, school does suck.
Speaker 2: That that was such a simple thing, that was like
Speaker 2: the worst part of life when you were a kid.
Speaker 2: I mean, I know a lot of kids have a
Speaker 2: lot worse things going on than.
Speaker 3: That, Like co for the kid, it's amazing that he
Speaker 3: was able to relate to that kid on such a level.
Speaker 2: I mean, but that is like all you think sucks
Speaker 2: when you're a kid. Yeah, Yeah, like you got litterbugs sucked, Yeah, litter.
Speaker 5: Bug litter soul. School sucks.
Speaker 4: You don't realize that your parents' marriage sucks until you're.
Speaker 1: Vegetable.
Speaker 5: You're so right.
Speaker 2: It's it's happening right in front of your eyes and
Speaker 2: you don't know it. Yes, I went over to my parents'
Speaker 2: house last night actually because I got into town and
Speaker 2: I can't be alone, and so Sean relates and I
Speaker 2: and so I instantly I just dropped my bags at
Speaker 2: seven o'clock and then and I traveled all day yesterday
Speaker 2: from seven six point thirty in the morning until seven
Speaker 2: pm at night and delays, just sitting on sitting on
Speaker 2: a plane next to a monk in full monk garb
Speaker 2: in first class, which I'm like, how's this monk affording
Speaker 2: first class?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, but maybe he's just got the miles. Maybe he's
Speaker 2: a traveling monk. But also the monk was playing Sudoku
Speaker 2: or like playing some kind of of like game. And
Speaker 2: he also when I like got it, he was sitting
Speaker 2: on the aisle and I was sitting in the window.
Speaker 2: And when I like was boarding the plane, he was
Speaker 2: on the island. I was like, hey, I'm right here,
Speaker 2: you know, and he like got up like fast, and
Speaker 2: he slammed his head like on the It was just
Speaker 2: so funny to see like a man in religious garb
Speaker 2: be clumsy, you know. Like I was just like, he's like,
Speaker 2: oh like.
Speaker 1: Religions.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 2: It was crazy. And then we sat next to each other,
Speaker 2: and then I texted Chris because Chris went to a
Speaker 2: school that monks taught at, and so I was like,
Speaker 2: would you recognize this monk if I sent a picture
Speaker 2: and he said, no, I said, he's a all brown.
Speaker 2: He's like our monks were black. So anyway, then the
Speaker 2: plane sat on the tarmac for two and a half
Speaker 2: hours and the monk was getting agitated. It was so
Speaker 2: nice to see a man who's like has a relationship
Speaker 2: with God and like knows where he's going in the
Speaker 2: next life, and like to see him get anxious and
Speaker 2: likely kind of shifty in his seat. Like you think
Speaker 2: those kinds of people have it all figured out and
Speaker 2: don't even need their phones to entertain them, right, Like
Speaker 2: you would just think they could just sit there peacefully
Speaker 2: and accept what is handed to them.
Speaker 1: Contrescription to New York Times games.
Speaker 2: And has to be like a T mobile store and like.
Speaker 1: And this slower and.
Speaker 5: Was this though like leaving Portland.
Speaker 2: No, this was in Denver to Saint Louis.
Speaker 4: Oh okay, because I was like people in Portland just
Speaker 4: dressed like monks.
Speaker 2: That's true. We had a good weekend on the road
Speaker 2: in the pn W almost a panc that's a bank.
Speaker 2: We were in Tacoma for two nights, then we were
Speaker 2: in top and Ish for a couple hours, and then
Speaker 2: we were in Portland for two nights. So we flew.
Speaker 2: We did Tacoma for two nights at a casino, the
Speaker 2: Emerald Queen Queen, thank you. Uh, those are really fun shows.
Speaker 2: And then we took a private plane, which I'm not
Speaker 2: even going to get into, but we I mean, I'm
Speaker 2: not going to get into why we did that. I
Speaker 2: think we did it because as someone said, that'd be cool,
Speaker 2: and I just go great. And then it was fifteen
Speaker 2: thousand dollars for no reason because we literally it took
Speaker 2: longer to fly there than driving would have taken. So
Speaker 2: I don't know what happened, but I think when someone
Speaker 2: suggested it on a call, I assumed it was like
Speaker 2: a seven hour drive, thus, oh, that would make sense
Speaker 2: to fly, But it was a three hour drive, and
Speaker 2: it was a half hour drive to the airport alone,
Speaker 2: and then we had to sit on the tarmac and
Speaker 2: then the flight where we all lost I think years
Speaker 2: of our lives worrying about a crash. I mean, I
Speaker 2: was so stressed out the whole weekend about this fucking
Speaker 2: private jet flights. And I'm not someone who gets flight
Speaker 2: anxiety that I would have driven seventeen hours to avoid
Speaker 2: what the stress that it gave.
Speaker 4: Me, it gave me so much stress that it single
Speaker 4: handedly solved my fear of commercial flights. I didn't even
Speaker 4: use I didn't even use medication. Going home yesterday. Yeah, like,
Speaker 4: for the first time in ten years, I it felt
Speaker 4: like a car.
Speaker 1: It felt like a car, a private jet.
Speaker 4: And then I was like, I feel so safe, and
Speaker 4: we land and I look at my phone and there's
Speaker 4: some plate upside down in Toronto.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that but they all survived, and that seems like
Speaker 2: very exciting and terrifying. I mean, they're all like gonna
Speaker 2: be fucked, but you know, traumatic wise, but wow.
Speaker 3: Good Sean is known as exposure therapy. You exposed yourself
Speaker 3: to something and then you exposed yourself to such a
Speaker 3: heightened degree that the lesser stuff feels like it's nothing.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 4: God, it felt I felt electric yesterday getting on that plane.
Speaker 5: I'm like, I now, true.
Speaker 2: It's not scary at all. Commercial jets don't crash. Private
Speaker 2: jets jew and the one we were in certainly would have.
Speaker 2: We were And again here's the key Glazer complaining about
Speaker 2: her fucking, very fortunate, privileged life.
Speaker 1: She's complaining about private jet, private jet, And.
Speaker 2: It's not the private jet that you're picturing that people
Speaker 2: are popping champagne on and like get having massuses and
Speaker 2: there's like fruit trays and like the private jet I
Speaker 2: took to the New Orleans was amazing. No, there was.
Speaker 2: There was a little a couple of bags of skinny pop.
Speaker 2: But it was like it was not it's not a
Speaker 2: it's it's an I mean it's a single engine prop plane.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it was single engine prop plane.
Speaker 4: It was obviously from the eighties because like in the
Speaker 4: seat rest there was like a TV guide and the
Speaker 4: pilots like I'm not kidding when I say this just
Speaker 4: would not be hired, but like they were.
Speaker 2: They would struggle getting work at Starbucks.
Speaker 5: Yeah guys, but what.
Speaker 2: But what they did not dress like pilots. They dressed
Speaker 2: to like they dressed like they were going to take
Speaker 2: you out fishing. They would not assuage our fears about
Speaker 2: because we were like, hey, we have some nervous travelers
Speaker 2: aboard aka Sean, Like like Sean was really nervous and
Speaker 2: really anxious. And when Sean gets anxious, he asks Like
Speaker 2: Sean is like one of the smartest people I've ever met,
Speaker 2: Like doesn't forget things, remembers literally everything he I've been
Speaker 2: trying to get him on Jeopardy because he just has
Speaker 2: a great mind for like trivia and remembering things. Sean,
Speaker 2: when he's nervous, cannot remember how long a flight is.
Speaker 2: He will literally ask how long a flight is going
Speaker 2: to be, Like I would say, like fifteen times in
Speaker 2: a thirty minute span, Like he will ask me. He
Speaker 2: will ask Emily. He will ask the Emily to ask
Speaker 2: the pilot how long is it going to be? And
Speaker 2: we're like, we just told you five minutes ago it
Speaker 2: was going to be thirty minutes. It's it's crazy, but
Speaker 2: he like can't retain it because I think it gives
Speaker 2: him a sense of control. His brain chooses to forget
Speaker 2: so that his brain is able to get some kind
Speaker 2: of information that can like assuage this like fear coursing
Speaker 2: through his veins.
Speaker 5: I think so that sounds right.
Speaker 2: Guys, we told them, we go, hey can we was?
Speaker 2: Sean even asked, Sean's brave enough to say, hey, can
Speaker 2: you ask them is it going to be a smooth flight?
Speaker 2: And they go it should be?
Speaker 5: They were too casual.
Speaker 2: But feel lie. Even if you don't think it's going
Speaker 2: to be, just lie, what is it? You can always
Speaker 2: just say, whoa, we didn't expect that. But why not
Speaker 2: just like make your passengers feel or just have empathy.
Speaker 3: Because then maybe you freak out if you say, yeah,
Speaker 3: it's gonna be completely smooth, like gliding on a smooth plane.
Speaker 2: No, you just communicate to us listen, like this is
Speaker 2: what pilots need to do. Do I need to say
Speaker 2: it again and again. Just communicate to people on the plane.
Speaker 2: There's always going to be especially on a passenger jet
Speaker 2: with hundreds of people, there's going to be at least
Speaker 2: twenty people on there who are scared to death the
Speaker 2: entire time. All they want is to know that you
Speaker 2: are okay with what's going on up there. So any
Speaker 2: kind of shift, shift in altitude, any kind of like
Speaker 2: twist or turn or bump, just get over the thing
Speaker 2: and say ever, just want to let you know this
Speaker 2: is completely normal, like anything that seems out of the ordinary.
Speaker 2: Just communicate to people, especially since it's telling you good
Speaker 2: speed of where we're landing. Stop giving us we're telling
Speaker 2: us about the new credit card, Like why are you
Speaker 2: wasting our ear? You have no problem getting over the
Speaker 2: intercom with that bullshit or telling us little jokes that
Speaker 2: you you know, learn from a joke book when you
Speaker 2: were taking a shit one day and pertained for the
Speaker 2: rest of your life to give yourself a personality. Why
Speaker 2: don't you tell us actual things that will help people
Speaker 2: feel better because they're not They haven't flown six thousand
Speaker 2: flights like you have. They have they have nerves. Like again,
Speaker 2: you're right, Noah, it's empathy, like think of other people.
Speaker 2: And these guys we literally told them people are nervous
Speaker 2: on the flight, and they wouldn't give us it, and
Speaker 2: they just like I didn't like their cavalier attitude about
Speaker 2: the whole thing, and and kind of just like they're like, well,
Speaker 2: we could make it a little bumpy, And it's like,
Speaker 2: don't you even fucking dare joke about that?
Speaker 4: Yeah, you were literally flying over Mount Rainier like we
Speaker 4: saw it, like we were at that same level of
Speaker 4: that mounted Like there was like something going through my
Speaker 4: head where I'm like, if we crash, who am I
Speaker 4: gonna eat first? It was gonna be Tommy.
Speaker 2: Now the guy Like if the guys are the guys
Speaker 2: are gonna probably hear this podcast and be like, Oh,
Speaker 2: she's such a bitch. You guys know what you were doing?
Speaker 2: I liked that. I almost like their cavalier attitude because
Speaker 2: it made me realize, like they just look at this
Speaker 2: like driving down the road it was seven eleven to
Speaker 2: pick up some cigarettes, like they they do not think
Speaker 2: that's what I's trying to tell Sean, But they were
Speaker 2: a little ka about it. And if you don't know,
Speaker 2: KA is guys listening like just we know you are
Speaker 2: used to this, but we aren't, right. So and also
Speaker 2: I'm paying so much fucking money and maybe you're not
Speaker 2: seeing enough of that money, and that's a problem with
Speaker 2: like the way the company works for you to give
Speaker 2: me the experience that is a little bit less than
Speaker 2: like where are you walking the doors on the other side,
Speaker 2: like making fun of us for not knowing where the
Speaker 2: door is, or like I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: It was just like it was just not a luxury experience.
Speaker 2: But maybe I didn't pay for one. Maybe I thought
Speaker 2: the price that I paid was a luxury experience, but
Speaker 2: maybe it wasn't.
Speaker 1: No, I think that is.
Speaker 2: Do I fear complaining, yes, because will I do? I
Speaker 2: fear they're just gonna like someone will crash next time,
Speaker 2: because they're like, she's a bit and entitled. I'm usually
Speaker 2: so grateful, and I am grateful like they it was
Speaker 2: a safe ride. They did land smoothly, they did. I
Speaker 2: would have liked to know when we were changing out
Speaker 2: to because all of a sudden, it just drops and
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, the engines are failing, like it is
Speaker 2: an abrupt like ready to descend, like a little warning
Speaker 2: of that would have been fine. Not leaving us on
Speaker 2: the tarmac freezing cold for twenty minutes would have been cool.
Speaker 5: In complete darkness, okay.
Speaker 2: Complete darkness.
Speaker 1: Okay.
Speaker 2: So we get to the get so it's the same
Speaker 2: We have the same pilots to fly there. So we
Speaker 2: fly into Yakima.
Speaker 4: On which if you've if you've never been, you're exactly
Speaker 4: everyone else in the state of watching.
Speaker 2: No one. No one in Takoma, which was three hours away.
Speaker 2: I've ever even heard of Yakama.
Speaker 1: So we fly into.
Speaker 3: Yaka Apple City. They've got great They a lot of
Speaker 3: apples come from Yakima, Okay.
Speaker 2: A lot of hops too. It's a big, hoppy town.
Speaker 2: And so we we fly to Yakima and it takes
Speaker 2: as long as driving would have, and it's way more
Speaker 2: stressful and all that stuff. But that's fine, and then
Speaker 2: we land. We then we have that we're gonna have
Speaker 2: the same pilots. Hours later, we go do the show
Speaker 2: and then we come back. We drive forty minutes to
Speaker 2: the show. We do, the show, we come back is
Speaker 2: dark when we come back.
Speaker 4: Also, the show is incredible, like so top.
Speaker 2: Aish is outside of Yakima. Amazing people, amazing show, so
Speaker 2: much fun. Yes, I don't remember the name of the casino, Sean.
Speaker 5: It's like if I say, if if I.
Speaker 2: Break Spirits, Spirits, spirit falls something like that, like.
Speaker 4: Flying Eagle or like Spiritfall, Like I don't it's gonna
Speaker 4: sound racist when I think it gains.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but the people that really cared, the lighting guy
Speaker 2: like went the extra mile like it was it was.
Speaker 2: It was a great show, and the audience was like
Speaker 2: really down. It was so fun. So then we go
Speaker 2: back to so on our way back, both Erica and
Speaker 2: my tour manager and Emily are texting with the company,
Speaker 2: the flight company being like, our ETA is this. So
Speaker 2: we get we get back. They're expecting us. Our luggage
Speaker 2: is still on the plane. Right we get back, We
Speaker 2: get out of the car, the carpools onto the tarmac.
Speaker 2: We get out of the car, and they're loading our
Speaker 2: bags onto the plane, but the door for the plane
Speaker 2: is not open. We're all just kind of like standing there.
Speaker 2: It's cold, it's icy, it's like there's no lights even
Speaker 2: on the tarmat, like it's kind of like barren. And
Speaker 2: the terminal shut down. It's like a small terminal and
Speaker 2: they're not open because it's late at night. So we're
Speaker 2: just kind of waiting there, and then I eventually was like,
Speaker 2: can we go inside, you know, or like what's going on?
Speaker 2: What they should have said was will you guys stay
Speaker 2: in the car because we're not ready for you. But
Speaker 2: what they did do was open up the hatch and
Speaker 2: led us into the plane, where we got in the
Speaker 2: plane and sat there for twenty to thirty minutes, I
Speaker 2: would say maybe even longer. They put the luggage, they
Speaker 2: stowed it, and then they left us on the tarmac
Speaker 2: in the cold, in a pitch dark airplane with not
Speaker 2: even the ignition turned on, nothing turned on, no safety lights.
Speaker 4: No safety lights, and it's fourteen degrees. It's fourteen degrees
Speaker 4: at ten thirty pm, and.
Speaker 2: Like literally nothing like we and we're like, where did
Speaker 2: they go? What's going on? We have no community and everything,
Speaker 2: and the like back hatches was still open. I think,
Speaker 2: like maybe they're still loading things, but you can tell
Speaker 2: that they were just like, fuck, these people were not
Speaker 2: ready for them. Let them on the plane and just
Speaker 2: make them sit there, when they could have just said
Speaker 2: stay in the suv. You guys got out to soon.
Speaker 2: We assumed the plane would be ready for us, because
Speaker 2: why wouldn't it be, like you've been at the airport
Speaker 2: the whole time, you knew we were coming. We gave
Speaker 2: you a forty minute heads up.
Speaker 6: And then this reminds me of This reminds me of
Speaker 6: like when you get a limo for prom and it's
Speaker 6: supposed to come pick you up, but like it just
Speaker 6: like leaves you with the coolba guy like forgets about
Speaker 6: you because he's at the gas stations.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, it felt we were out of control.
Speaker 3: Because something's expensive doesn't mean it's gonna be good. I
Speaker 3: think plane companies are just like any other company, where
Speaker 3: there's good ones and there's bad ones. Yeah yeah, and
Speaker 3: you got a bad one. This does not sound normal
Speaker 3: to me.
Speaker 1: It sucks.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like I'm complaining about something that was
Speaker 2: really nice. But it was like it was really hilarious
Speaker 2: and I and I'm I'm the only recognizable one of
Speaker 2: all of us, so I can't be the one complaining
Speaker 2: because then it no one can complain because then everyone goes,
Speaker 2: she's a bitch, and then it gets around the pilot community,
Speaker 2: which is art. This is already going to I'm sure private,
Speaker 2: this is gonna make its way through and be like
Speaker 2: she she doesn't know the rules.
Speaker 1: They want happen to this.
Speaker 2: They shouldn't let us on the plane.
Speaker 3: You are going to get a message from somebody who
Speaker 3: owns a private plane company saying come to us.
Speaker 1: I'll treat you right.
Speaker 2: But I don't think we're ever going to fly private
Speaker 2: again if I can help. It was so fucking stressful
Speaker 2: for our nervous systems, Like I'm I think I'm still
Speaker 2: recovering from it, just thinking I'm going to die. And
Speaker 2: I even wrote a card to my mom saying I
Speaker 2: loved her and that We're probably going to die on
Speaker 2: this jet. Because they had a station for Valentine's Day
Speaker 2: cards in the airport, the little terminal wrote, yeah, I wrote,
Speaker 2: but then I didn't send it. I just kept it
Speaker 2: in my bag because I was like, oh, if we
Speaker 2: find it, in my I'll put in my leather purse
Speaker 2: which will probably won't burn up in the crash, and
Speaker 2: I tucked it away in there. I felt I was
Speaker 2: so anxious, but I couldn't show my anxiety because I
Speaker 2: felt like you were more anxious, And there's nothing worse
Speaker 2: than like the person who's usually not anxious me being anxious.
Speaker 2: That would have thrown you off. Yes, Dad can't cry,
Speaker 2: So instead I was just making jokes and pushing down
Speaker 2: my fear. And then I like, I think that's maybe
Speaker 2: why I'm like depressed this week. I'm like recovering from
Speaker 2: that like anxiety or that that I pushed down. And
Speaker 2: then also what was I gonna say?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 2: Then, so we're on the plane and Emily's like not
Speaker 2: worried about she is not freaking out all and and
Speaker 2: Sean's kind of like interviewing her buddy. He's like, so
Speaker 2: you're not scared at all? Right now? Like nothing? She's
Speaker 2: like no, not really, you know what you need? You
Speaker 2: need a chill pill or like what She's like, you
Speaker 2: need you should try chill pell And we're like what
Speaker 2: are you?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: The cool cool phrase like remind me of my mom's
Speaker 2: friend back in the nineties, who'd say take a chill
Speaker 2: pill to her daughter. But it's a real thing that
Speaker 2: Emily has. She was like, you know the thing that
Speaker 2: shocks your hand. And I was like, I don't know
Speaker 2: what you're talking about. She's like, Nikki, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I've showed you. And I was like, I would remember that.
Speaker 2: Don't make me feel like I am a senile person
Speaker 2: like I. I forget a lot of things. I forget
Speaker 2: people's names, I forget I do not forget a little
Speaker 2: device that you hold onto and it shocks your hand
Speaker 2: so that you don't have anxiety. So it's called a
Speaker 2: chill pill. She learned about it from Rosi O'Donnell on
Speaker 2: the TikTok. She assumed she had showed me. She had
Speaker 2: never showed me this thing. She bought one. It is
Speaker 2: a little it's shaped like a grenade. You hold it
Speaker 2: and it shocks your hand, and it buzzes and shocks
Speaker 2: your hand, and it goes for twenty minutes and you
Speaker 2: hold it and when you're having anxiety, it distracts you.
Speaker 2: You're not able to think because it's such a it's
Speaker 2: an amount of pain that's just enough pain to be distracting.
Speaker 2: But not enough to actually like hurt, and it actually
Speaker 2: calms your mind. And I am addicted to it. She
Speaker 2: gave me hers. We bought them all. I bought one
Speaker 2: for everyone on our tour because I'm like, I just
Speaker 2: think everyone needs this, because we were all like, wait,
Speaker 2: can I hold it up or try it? And then
Speaker 2: we were all like wait, wait can I try it again?
Speaker 2: Like we were all getting such soothing feelings from this thing.
Speaker 2: Didn't it work?
Speaker 5: Sean, Oh, it's incredible.
Speaker 4: Like I straight up went on stage with a panic
Speaker 4: attack on Sunday and just like pushed through it. And
Speaker 4: then after I just used the chill pill and I
Speaker 4: felt incredible, Like yes, I.
Speaker 5: Feel like I'm never gonna have a pack at attack again.
Speaker 2: Well, Emily said she used to have really bad anxiety
Speaker 2: and she doesn't anymore because of the chill pill. She
Speaker 2: was like, you can just have mine. I don't even
Speaker 2: need it anymore. I used to need it all the time.
Speaker 2: I used to hold it to go to bed with.
Speaker 2: I've been falling asleep with it. I woke up with
Speaker 2: this this morning because I was depressed. I was like,
Speaker 2: I was going to hold this for a little bit.
Speaker 2: I really think it will like help with my depression
Speaker 2: and anxiety. Like I wanted to bring it on stage
Speaker 2: one night because I was just feeling a little down,
Speaker 2: But I don't think it's good for like performing. I
Speaker 2: was holding it all weekend long. I just started over.
Speaker 2: Every twenty minutes, I started over, like I can't stop.
Speaker 2: It was the same thing I was doing with Ari.
Speaker 2: Ari had bought me these those little pads that shock
Speaker 2: your muscles.
Speaker 6: Oh, the tens machine.
Speaker 2: Yes, that that's why I was addicted to tens because
Speaker 2: it was like causing enough pain that was distracting from
Speaker 2: my mental anguish. Yeah, and it's like cutting, but it
Speaker 2: doesn't It's doesn't leave a scar. So if this is
Speaker 2: interesting to anyone, try look up the chill pill on Amazon.
Speaker 2: There's sixty bucks, there's Shawn's and you hold it in
Speaker 2: your hand. Yeah, and it looks like a little keyfob.
Speaker 2: Yeah bybe You just plug it in. Yeah, you just
Speaker 2: charge it with a charger. Yeah, and it's I'm I'm
Speaker 2: I can't wait to uh for people to get these
Speaker 2: because I cannot believe it took me so long to
Speaker 2: find this kind of thing. So I really wanted to
Speaker 2: talk about that today, and I'm glad we did. Okay,
Speaker 2: we have to go to break. We'll be back up
Speaker 2: to this. So then we go to Portland after Yakima,
Speaker 2: and Portland is amazing. We had amazing brunches twice in
Speaker 2: a row at the Jam. Emily got us in there.
Speaker 2: It was totally booked up, but she called and she
Speaker 2: worked her ways and she alluded to like, oh, it
Speaker 2: sucks that you guys are busy today. We're only in
Speaker 2: town for two days. And that led to the woman
Speaker 2: going what are you in town for? Oh? I work
Speaker 2: for Nicki Glaze like and then the one was like, well,
Speaker 2: we can make some room. So the Jam got us
Speaker 2: and jammed us in nice both days Saturday and Sunday. Inland.
Speaker 2: It's so good on Hawthorn it was delicious. We had
Speaker 2: such a good brunch two days in a row. And
Speaker 2: then on Saturday night after the shows were incredible. Crowds
Speaker 2: were great, the the theater was amazing, huge, so many people,
Speaker 2: so fun. Yeah, crowds up there just like get it.
Speaker 5: I just along with everything.
Speaker 4: It's like there's not even the Yeah, they're not repressed
Speaker 4: at all. They're just kind of like let it, like
Speaker 4: let an artist work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can expect it all the way down to
Speaker 3: North Call and San Francisco. I think San Francisco up.
Speaker 3: I think it's all the same. It's just like this still.
Speaker 2: Gets a little woke. Well where they'll be like, are
Speaker 2: you making fun? Are you marginalized?
Speaker 1: I guess I could get a little woke.
Speaker 2: Which I'm all for. I'm I'm woke as fuck, but
Speaker 2: I you know, they can get a little sensitive on
Speaker 2: behalf of people, I feel whereas and it will go.
Speaker 2: It does go all the way up to Vancouver as
Speaker 2: far as I know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the whole go to Alaska. Yeah, Antarctica.
Speaker 5: This is the wocus comedy tour in America right now.
Speaker 2: And so we but Portland was Portland is cool, like
Speaker 2: it's a great cool city. We went and did karaoke
Speaker 2: on Saturday night at this place called the Hallway.
Speaker 4: And which is a shining theme for like for real reason.
Speaker 1: Yes, and it's very funny.
Speaker 2: Like the Stanley Koprick movie.
Speaker 4: Yeah because in Colorado, right, it took place in Colorado,
Speaker 4: but it was filmed two hours away from Portland, as
Speaker 4: the owner of the bar told me, and they everything
Speaker 4: is just like pictures of the Shine again. And then
Speaker 4: for some reason, there's just a framed knife.
Speaker 5: It's the movie.
Speaker 2: Yeah that. I think everything in Portland is themed though.
Speaker 2: I think every strip club, every restaurant like has to
Speaker 2: like it's there a second grade classroom around Halloween or something,
Speaker 2: you know, like it's everything has to have a theme.
Speaker 2: And that was theirs. Yeah, and there was a dog
Speaker 2: that was playing fetch the entire time. Cool. It was cool,
Speaker 2: though it wasn't There were that many people there and
Speaker 2: you just like put in your song and it would
Speaker 2: come up pretty quickly, and then we got to sing
Speaker 2: and we we had a really great time singing and
Speaker 2: just hanging out after the show. And but there was
Speaker 2: this one thing that like there kept being performers that
Speaker 2: would get up and their name would be like Joe
Speaker 2: and they would say AKA, and then it would say
Speaker 2: some like phrase and I And at first I was like,
Speaker 2: that's like a weird nickname to have that. One of
Speaker 2: them was like clean my Tank and someone was like that,
Speaker 2: why is that person's nickname clean my Tank? I think
Speaker 2: Tommy said it or or Emily, And I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't mean to make this about me, but I
Speaker 2: have a joke where that's the punchline and I feel
Speaker 2: like someone's trying to like get my attention with this,
Speaker 2: Like it wasn't like NICKI Glazer's here, Like it didn't
Speaker 2: feel like anyone really eved new or it was. And
Speaker 2: I don't think that way ever when I go places.
Speaker 2: But I felt really dumb saying that as soon as
Speaker 2: I said it, because I'm like, oh my god, ew,
Speaker 2: everyone thinks that you think this is about you and
Speaker 2: it's not. And then the next one was you know,
Speaker 2: Dion aka zach Efron, and I was like, I think
Speaker 2: I have a joke about zach Efron too, from an
Speaker 2: old special. And then the next one was Dudley aka
Speaker 2: extra Long twin Bed and I'm like, no one's nickname.
Speaker 1: Is extra Long twin Bed.
Speaker 2: That makes sense and I definitely have a joke about that.
Speaker 2: And then I was confirmed because then the owner finally
Speaker 2: sheepishly came over and was like, have you noticed anything?
Speaker 2: And I was like, yes, I have noticed something. My
Speaker 2: friends thought I was a narcissist. I swear that. So
Speaker 2: these poor people that kept getting up to sing, and
Speaker 2: then they had some disgusting phrase like comeslot as they're
Speaker 2: like nickname and he's crazy. Was one was you need
Speaker 2: to floss. And it was like a joke about like
Speaker 2: me saying that someone needed to floss, but a guy's
Speaker 2: name was Joe aka needs to floss, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: if I Joe, I'd be deeply funding because Joe was
Speaker 2: not in charge of the nickname. It was the guy
Speaker 2: running the karaoke machine.
Speaker 3: And you wonder why people like become narcissists when they
Speaker 3: are super celebrities. It's like you were just confirmed. You're like,
Speaker 3: oh no, I'm not. I don't want to be a narcissist.
Speaker 3: I don't want to think it's all about me. And
Speaker 3: then if it is about you, how many time does
Speaker 3: that have to happen before you just start to assume
Speaker 3: that everything is about you?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I was. I was so embarrassed after I
Speaker 2: said it the first time because I was like, clean
Speaker 2: my tank, Like, I bet that's just like a thing
Speaker 2: maybe people say, but I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 2: I just felt like it was. And I felt so
Speaker 2: because Tommy, I just you know, Tommy just started working
Speaker 2: with us, and I don't want Tommy to think I'm
Speaker 2: like someone's like I think this is me. And so
Speaker 2: I was already planning on like apologizing to him later
Speaker 2: the next day being like, I'm sorry I made that
Speaker 2: about me. I don't know why I thought it was.
Speaker 2: And then I was so happy when it ended up
Speaker 2: being about me, even though it was kind of annoying,
Speaker 2: but the people there were really nice and the guy
Speaker 2: that runs the place is really fun. So that was
Speaker 2: a good place. And then final thought, and then on
Speaker 2: on Sunday night, we were like, we're gonna go get
Speaker 2: a karaoke room, like a private one because that place
Speaker 2: wasn't open again. And then we realized Lisa Tragger was
Speaker 2: in town. My currently favorite comedian, Lisa Trager, right off
Speaker 2: her special Netflix special Night Owl, which I'm obsessed with,
Speaker 2: she was in town working at Helium, the comedy club,
Speaker 2: and so we texted her Sunday morning being like, oh
Speaker 2: my god, we're here too, and then she was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, we're doing after the show and I
Speaker 2: We're doing a strip club karaoke and I was like, okay,
Speaker 2: I guess we're canceling our room. Everyone in this town's
Speaker 2: doing karaoke. So we went to a strip club called
Speaker 2: the Devil's Point.
Speaker 4: Devil's Point they carry trade trademarked trademark. They're the only
Speaker 4: club allowed to have stripper karaoke.
Speaker 2: Yeah, stripper oki is it's called you get on stage
Speaker 2: and you sing, and then a stripper strips on stage
Speaker 2: while you're singing. But there is like there's you know,
Speaker 2: the classic bar that they swing around on, then there's
Speaker 2: like pull up bars that they're doing all kinds of
Speaker 2: gymnastics on. These women are so talented, so acrobatic, so hot.
Speaker 2: We it was. It was a spectacle. I did not
Speaker 2: sing because the list was like really long, and I
Speaker 2: just I didn't want to be the center of attention.
Speaker 2: And I honestly, I don't like strip I don't like
Speaker 2: being touched by strippers, male or female. So it seemed like.
Speaker 5: A nightmare to sing, Like, yeah, truly.
Speaker 4: Upon walking in, I was like, there's no chance I
Speaker 4: would ever do karaoke this way.
Speaker 2: You are because they're like rubbing on you the whole time.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you're beholden like in front of like it
Speaker 4: was packed and you have to stand at this circle
Speaker 4: and they do their moves and then they like like
Speaker 4: kind of play with you, Yeah, play with you.
Speaker 2: And then Sean famously said, when we said we're doing
Speaker 2: strip club karaoke, he goes, oh, good. I can be
Speaker 2: awkward in two different ways because it was like and
Speaker 2: so we just watched, but luckily it was it made
Speaker 2: karaoke watchable because these women are gorgeous and so talented
Speaker 2: and fully fully nude. I saw assholes. I saw a
Speaker 2: I saw literal women's assholes, which was also in a
Speaker 2: strip club, yes, right here, Yes it was. I think
Speaker 2: it was maybe Tommy's first time too, maybe maybe not. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So it was like it's but it's the best strip
Speaker 2: club experience because everyone there is happy doing what they're doing.
Speaker 2: They are really like exceptional at it. It's not something
Speaker 2: that they're doing because something else didn't work out or
Speaker 2: because there it's there wasn't a sadness to it. There
Speaker 2: was like a joy in the air among other things.
Speaker 1: It was.
Speaker 5: It was hot, it was heartwarming.
Speaker 4: It felt like it were like it felt like we
Speaker 4: were in like a workplace comedy and these these like
Speaker 4: coworkers love each other yep, and like they love the
Speaker 4: DJ who also it was like a like a gross
Speaker 4: dude who stripped.
Speaker 2: I mean it was there. I really it was the
Speaker 2: one time in my life that I've really felt like
Speaker 2: I was in a movie. I was like this we
Speaker 2: could shoot this. This is this is what they made
Speaker 2: Coyote Ugly look like, you know what I mean, Like
Speaker 2: the most fun bar in town where everyone is having
Speaker 2: the best time of their lives. Everyone is gorgeous, everyone
Speaker 2: is talented and and everyone's having a genuinely happy time.
Speaker 2: No one's too wasted, nothing smells like, everything looks clean,
Speaker 2: everyone's in a good mood like It felt like how
Speaker 2: this kind of place would be portrayed in a movie
Speaker 2: in a sensationalized way that you go, there's no way
Speaker 2: it's going to be like that. That's truly what this
Speaker 2: place was. It was awesome. I cannot wait to go back.
Speaker 2: I do want to sing there at some point because
Speaker 2: it looked really fun. But it was just everyone that
Speaker 2: came out to me. And then there were a lot
Speaker 2: of people there that knew me and and and were
Speaker 2: so nice and came out to me. One guy said
Speaker 2: he had quit drinking, but he was because of he
Speaker 2: heard me on Joe Rogan. He was clearly drunk, so
Speaker 2: that was confusing. But then he clarified that he had
Speaker 2: quit drinking for a year and then cool, no, of.
Speaker 5: Course not now, and started drinking again exactly.
Speaker 2: But it was really fun, and it felt like it
Speaker 2: felt good to go out and do things after the show.
Speaker 2: I mean, sometimes we have two shows and it's just
Speaker 2: like pot, we'll to go out because none of us drink,
Speaker 2: you know, like none of us are like drugging or drinking,
Speaker 2: and so it's like we're not the type to like
Speaker 2: really go out on the town. But this I felt like,
Speaker 2: really I felt proud of myself for like doing something.
Speaker 3: Yeah, experiencing the road, Like that's part of that, That's
Speaker 3: part of how people say they stay saying on the road.
Speaker 1: It's like you gotta go experience the city. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: heard like Mark Norman say that or something.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, that's who I think of too, Like I
Speaker 2: feel like he goes out and does things.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But it was really it was really a fun weekend.
Speaker 2: I look forward to this weekend in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday,
Speaker 2: and then we're doing Boston. I'm doing six shows at
Speaker 2: the Wang Theater Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and we are
Speaker 2: doing things during the day too. We have We've been
Speaker 2: invited to many different things in town because people know
Speaker 2: we're coming, and so that's very exciting. And I think
Speaker 2: my depression is lifted. To be honest with you, I'm
Speaker 2: feeling a little bit more clearheaded. Thank you for this
Speaker 2: therapy session.
Speaker 1: There you go.
Speaker 6: Are you buzzing yourself right now? Are you holding on
Speaker 6: to that.
Speaker 2: Nor you got yours? Oh my god, I need to
Speaker 2: go get mine. I'm gonna I gotta charge it again.
Speaker 2: It's so good. H Yeah, So check out the chill pill,
Speaker 2: if that, if that, any of that lots they to do. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Amazon sixty bucks totally worth it, you guys. I know
Speaker 2: that's maybe a price point that's like a little much.
Speaker 2: But it's like if you have anxiety, or you have
Speaker 2: moments where you're like your mind is racing with thoughts
Speaker 2: and you need to like you just have nothing else
Speaker 2: to do, and you you want to meditate, but you're
Speaker 2: not there yet, Like this is just something. It's almost
Speaker 2: like meditation that makes you focus on something that isn't
Speaker 2: your thoughts. Meditation makes you focus on breath. This makes
Speaker 2: you focus on a weird numbing like almost like your
Speaker 2: hands fell asleep kind of pain in your hand is
Speaker 2: don't you think that's the same pain, Sean. It's like
Speaker 2: when you like your hand starts tingling because it fell asleep.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it definitely pins and needles and I kind of
Speaker 4: always love that.
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, all right, so check it out. Thank you
Speaker 2: for listening. We'll see you again tomorrow. Don't be good bye.
Speaker 2: The Nicki Glazer Podcast is a production by Will Ferrell's
Speaker 2: Big Money Players and iHeart Podcasts. Created and hosted by
Speaker 2: me Nicki Glazer, co hosted by Brian Frangie, Executive produced
Speaker 2: by Will Ferrell, Hans Sonny and Noah Avior edited it
Speaker 2: engineered by Lean and Loaf, video production Mark Canton, and
Speaker 2: music by Anya Marina. You can now watch full episodes
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