1 00:00:19,239 --> 00:00:21,680 Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the 2 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:24,400 Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you 3 00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe 4 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:29,600 Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with 5 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:32,279 Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how 6 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 1: to balance your check book or how to start a business, 7 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,120 Speaker 1: whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember 8 00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,599 Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering 9 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,760 Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from 10 00:00:42,760 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, Now, go ahead and leave 11 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: your question. At the sound of the beat. 12 00:00:49,600 --> 00:01:04,960 Speaker 2: Man, we want in Californiando and Mamal Cantaxican, Bye. 13 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:14,040 Speaker 1: I love you, Naria Quelinda Saloxicnkan tam Canta is the 14 00:01:16,640 --> 00:01:38,800 Speaker 1: the Caja uadro jota Zo Stepan is okaynos I was 15 00:01:38,880 --> 00:01:41,759 Speaker 1: just basically telling NaIO you guys, she's from Mexicali, from 16 00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: Baja California, and she was just saying that my mom 17 00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:45,960 Speaker 1: loved it out there, that when am I going to 18 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 1: do a concert, When am I going to have a concert, 19 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:49,920 Speaker 1: And my mom loved to also eat Chinese food out there, 20 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:51,960 Speaker 1: so I was just telling her that I love MEXICALI 21 00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 1: and I haven't been in a while, and I haven't 22 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 1: had a concert out there, but I'm hoping that I 23 00:01:55,360 --> 00:01:57,040 Speaker 1: will soon so that her and I can be friends. 24 00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:58,720 Speaker 1: She also wants to be my friend, so I said, yes, 25 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: we can be friends and have some Chinese food together. 26 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 1: So that was her question. Nad okay out almost with 27 00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: Gabby a little English. There you go, Gabby, let's hear 28 00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 1: from you. 29 00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:17,240 Speaker 3: Him, my love, I have a question for you. How 30 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,639 Speaker 3: do you stay motivated to not give up on the 31 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,359 Speaker 3: things that you're doing. I am a full time student, 32 00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 3: I work full time. I am living the Senora life 33 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 3: right now, and I feel like I don't have time 34 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:32,480 Speaker 3: for anything. I want to come home. I want to 35 00:02:32,520 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 3: come home and lay down in bed, watch TV, take 36 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 3: a nap, but I don't have time for any of that. 37 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:40,840 Speaker 3: Like I have to wake up, go to work, come home, 38 00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:43,919 Speaker 3: feed my man, clean up a little bit, try to 39 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,880 Speaker 3: do homework. And it's just it's so much that I'm 40 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,959 Speaker 3: just about ready to give up, and I don't want 41 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,280 Speaker 3: to because I am almost done. I've been in school 42 00:02:53,360 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 3: for about five years. I'm just starting to stress out 43 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,200 Speaker 3: about money. 44 00:02:57,360 --> 00:02:58,839 Speaker 1: And it's just a lot. 45 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:04,000 Speaker 3: I'm just tired and stressing out about what the future 46 00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:09,040 Speaker 3: is because I don't know what it is. So any 47 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 3: advice would be greatly appreciated. Love you well, Gabby. 48 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:19,119 Speaker 1: I get it. I completely understand. I have those days 49 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:22,799 Speaker 1: when I feel overwhelmed. Today's one of them. So I 50 00:03:22,919 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: get it. I understand completely. And you have a lot 51 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,960 Speaker 1: on your plate. You have a lot, you have your man, 52 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,840 Speaker 1: you know the whole Signora life. You're working full time, 53 00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:36,880 Speaker 1: you're going to school. I honestly round applause for you, 54 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: grow because that's a lot, So you should be proud 55 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 1: of yourself. First of all. I think the most important thing, 56 00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:45,160 Speaker 1: and I'm talking to both of us right now, is 57 00:03:46,080 --> 00:03:50,000 Speaker 1: knowing that we have a plan. Life without a plan 58 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:53,600 Speaker 1: is no life. So I think it's creating a plan 59 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:58,160 Speaker 1: and knowing what my future goal is, my long term goal. 60 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: Right now it's yes, it's a lot, but it's temporary. 61 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,840 Speaker 1: You're going to school. Then you're gonna be done with 62 00:04:04,920 --> 00:04:06,560 Speaker 1: school and you're gonna have some time to breathe. But 63 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: right now you're sacrificing a lot of things in order 64 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:15,920 Speaker 1: to obtain what's coming. And that's always frustrating, and I 65 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:19,560 Speaker 1: get that, but I think also if you really put 66 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: everything to I mean, I'm assuming you have the weekends, 67 00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: maybe a Sunday off, I hope, where you could just 68 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 1: look forward to that and say, Okay, I'm gonna work 69 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: my ass off until Sunday, and on Sunday, I'm not 70 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,080 Speaker 1: doing anything that has to do with work with school. 71 00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: My man is going to cater to me. Talk to 72 00:04:33,279 --> 00:04:35,799 Speaker 1: your man and have him cook for you. It's a balance, 73 00:04:35,839 --> 00:04:38,360 Speaker 1: It's okay, or you guys just order in like you 74 00:04:38,480 --> 00:04:40,920 Speaker 1: do need that time and you need to find that 75 00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: one day or those few hours where you could just 76 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:48,200 Speaker 1: breathe and just be gabby. But keep your eyes on 77 00:04:48,279 --> 00:04:50,640 Speaker 1: the light at the end of the tunnel, because it's there. 78 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,040 Speaker 1: You just have to know, Okay, this is temporary, this 79 00:04:53,200 --> 00:04:57,159 Speaker 1: is just right now because I'm working towards my future, 80 00:04:57,160 --> 00:04:59,400 Speaker 1: because I want a better future for myself from my man, 81 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:03,479 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Like it's reminding yourself, reminding 82 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,920 Speaker 1: ourselves that we have a goal and that we're on 83 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: a mission here on earth, and that God has us 84 00:05:09,120 --> 00:05:11,320 Speaker 1: here for a reason. And once you just realize that, 85 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: you could just shake it off and just say you 86 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 1: know why. It's okay. I'm grateful. I am grateful that 87 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,360 Speaker 1: I have a job. I am grateful that I get 88 00:05:16,360 --> 00:05:18,160 Speaker 1: to go to school. I'm grateful that I have a 89 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: man that loves me. It's just turning all that negativity 90 00:05:21,560 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: that we're feeling into something positive. When you step back 91 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,960 Speaker 1: and say, wow, I have something to look forward to. 92 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:26,719 Speaker 1: I'm grateful. 93 00:05:27,279 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 3: You know. 94 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:31,160 Speaker 1: It sounds like super simple, but I mean it takes practice. 95 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:33,920 Speaker 1: So that's what I recommend and suggest because I feel you. 96 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: I get it, and you do have a lot going on, 97 00:05:35,680 --> 00:05:37,960 Speaker 1: but you should be very proud of yourself. That's amazing. 98 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:40,159 Speaker 1: You're doing something with your life. You're not just sitting there. 99 00:05:40,160 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: Imagine just sitting there having nothing to do. Girl, You're 100 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: doing the damn thing, So be proud of yourself. Our 101 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: next question comes from medium. 102 00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:58,360 Speaker 4: Hi chikiuz I have a question to ask. I have 103 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:03,520 Speaker 4: been going through time with my mom because unfortunately my 104 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 4: mom thinks that I slept with her boyfriend, her ex boyfriend, 105 00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 4: and it's been really hard for me because every relationship 106 00:06:11,160 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 4: I get into, she lets my new partner know what 107 00:06:15,600 --> 00:06:19,239 Speaker 4: happened when it's not true. You know, obviously I didn't 108 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:26,040 Speaker 4: do it. She's managed herself to actually ruin my relationships 109 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 4: because she always lets them know bad things about me 110 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,880 Speaker 4: instead of getting the support from her, you know, because 111 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:36,200 Speaker 4: she's my mother, she's just pushing me away. And to 112 00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 4: be honest with you, I don't even know how to 113 00:06:38,360 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 4: what to do. If you could please give me an advice, 114 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:44,360 Speaker 4: I would really appreciate it. Thank you. Have a blast night. 115 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,880 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, medium ooh, I know, I get you, 116 00:06:50,600 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: m It's tough, sounds a little toxic, to be honest, 117 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,440 Speaker 1: and this is just my opinion, but I feel that 118 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: your mom is just very unhappy with herself. Again, just 119 00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:07,080 Speaker 1: my opinion and no offense, because that's your mom, and 120 00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 1: I get it. You know. We can say whatever we 121 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: want about our moms, but anyone else says something, it's like, 122 00:07:10,600 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: hold up. So I understand that I don't want to 123 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: judge your mother at all. I don't think it's healthy though. 124 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:19,160 Speaker 1: It's not healthy at all that you're feeling like this 125 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,040 Speaker 1: and that she's doing that. It's not healthy for her, 126 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:23,320 Speaker 1: it's not healthy for you. The fact that she's feeling 127 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: all of these things like she needs to heal that. 128 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 1: I don't know if she's upset because her ex boyfriend 129 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: that she says that you slept with left her. I 130 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,720 Speaker 1: don't know. I wish I knew a little bit more. 131 00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:36,760 Speaker 1: But I always tell you guys this because yes, we 132 00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 1: have to respect and honor our parents, absolutely, one hundred percent. 133 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: But if you find that your mother is doing more 134 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: harm in your life than good, then I feel like 135 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: it's okay for you to step back a little bit. 136 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 1: I think that when someone loses something, that's when they 137 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: appreciate it a little bit more. And maybe you stepping 138 00:07:56,240 --> 00:07:59,720 Speaker 1: back will also make your mom realize, like, whoa, maybe 139 00:07:59,760 --> 00:08:02,480 Speaker 1: my actions and what have been doing isn't correct. I 140 00:08:02,520 --> 00:08:04,760 Speaker 1: don't know if you've already explained this to her and 141 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,840 Speaker 1: expressed your feelings to her, but I think that's important. 142 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,440 Speaker 1: I think you absolutely should. I always say write a 143 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: letter because sometimes when you're having a conversation, you forget 144 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,600 Speaker 1: things or the other person speaks and you can't express 145 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: yourself completely. So writing a letter and stating like, these 146 00:08:18,960 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: are my feelings and I'm going to step back a 147 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:20,720 Speaker 1: little bit. 148 00:08:20,760 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 4: Mom. 149 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 1: I love you, but this is causing me a lot 150 00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 1: of harm and the fact that you think this about 151 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: me breaks my heart. So we need to either go 152 00:08:27,920 --> 00:08:29,800 Speaker 1: to therapy together, or you need to go to therapy. 153 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: I do too, but like, this isn't healthy for me. 154 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:34,520 Speaker 1: And if you don't feel like bringing your new boyfriend 155 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 1: around your mom, that's okay too. You shouldn't at this point. 156 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,120 Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I'd be like, h hold up, I'm not 157 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,319 Speaker 1: trying to like go through another relationship and my mom 158 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:44,079 Speaker 1: ruining it for me. Like, it's okay for you not 159 00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:47,240 Speaker 1: to bring these guys around to her until you guys 160 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 1: heal this. But this is something that she also has 161 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:51,600 Speaker 1: to be aware of and also has to be willing 162 00:08:51,679 --> 00:08:54,360 Speaker 1: to heal, because this is no way to live for 163 00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,959 Speaker 1: her or for yourself. So I think that you should 164 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:58,600 Speaker 1: write her letter and express it and just say, Mom, 165 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:01,199 Speaker 1: I love you, I'm here for you, but I think 166 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 1: I need to step back a little bit, And that's okay. 167 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:06,920 Speaker 1: That's creating a healthy boundary, always keeping in mind you 168 00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: have to honor and respect her absolutely, but you also 169 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,040 Speaker 1: have the right to express your feelings and you also 170 00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 1: have the right to live your life the way that 171 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:18,120 Speaker 1: you like. And if that means stepping away for a 172 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 1: little bit, that is okay, sometimes even necessary, babes. So 173 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm really hoping things get better for you and your mom. 174 00:09:26,160 --> 00:09:29,040 Speaker 1: I really really hope. So because that is heavy. That's 175 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 1: some heavy shit, trust I know, and it sucks, especially 176 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: when it's not true. It's like, oh, so I feel you, Miriam, 177 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: I feel you. I'm sending you a big ass hug, girl, 178 00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:44,760 Speaker 1: big hug. Okay, guys, So, our next question comes from 179 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:46,600 Speaker 1: Andrea hi ji Ki's. 180 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 5: I just wanted to say that you inspire me every 181 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,319 Speaker 5: day to be the best version of myself. I have 182 00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:55,400 Speaker 5: a lot in common with you. I too, am the 183 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,520 Speaker 5: oldest of my family. I have three younger sisters and 184 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,959 Speaker 5: one brother, and I wanted to ask you what kind 185 00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 5: of advice you can give me to speak to my 186 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 5: little sister who isn't living her best life. Is it 187 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 5: financially stable and she doesn't want to work or have 188 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,160 Speaker 5: the same work ethic as the rest of us. We 189 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,640 Speaker 5: were all raised to be hard working individuals. I'm so 190 00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 5: not sure how to talk to her to motivate her 191 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,679 Speaker 5: without her getting defensive. So anything you can give me 192 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:32,920 Speaker 5: I'd love to hear. I love you and you are 193 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,599 Speaker 5: one of my favorite artists. I love your mom and 194 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,200 Speaker 5: your entire family, and I just wish you the best 195 00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 5: in your new engagement. Bye. 196 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,520 Speaker 1: Thank you, Andrea, thank you for wishing me the best 197 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: and for listening to my podcast. And I love you too. 198 00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 1: I love you too. And you know, I don't know 199 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,640 Speaker 1: if you guys know most of you should, I hope. 200 00:10:53,840 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 1: But I raise my siblings and Johnny the youngest, I'm 201 00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:59,439 Speaker 1: the oldest, and he's the youngest, still lives with me. 202 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: He's going to be twenty three, So I totally get it. 203 00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,360 Speaker 1: There was a time there where I was a little worried. 204 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:06,360 Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, what am I going 205 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 1: to do? Like it was exactly the same thing. The 206 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 1: older ones have more responsibility, like we had no other 207 00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 1: choice but to figure out how we're going to make money, 208 00:11:13,920 --> 00:11:16,599 Speaker 1: and then the younger ones, it just it's different. It 209 00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 1: took me a while to understand that, and it took 210 00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,679 Speaker 1: me a while to figure out how to speak to 211 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 1: him and to just I pushed him. I was like, well, you, 212 00:11:24,679 --> 00:11:26,320 Speaker 1: if you're going to live in this house, I've seen 213 00:11:26,400 --> 00:11:27,719 Speaker 1: that's the thing. Your sister doesn't live with you, so 214 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:29,240 Speaker 1: it's a little different. But for me, it was like, 215 00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:31,120 Speaker 1: if you're going to live in this house and you 216 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,040 Speaker 1: want to be a singer. Well, I need you to 217 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: work out every day, I need you to eat better, 218 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,959 Speaker 1: I need you to go to a school like I 219 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 1: was very like that. You know, obviously, I'm sure your 220 00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:42,319 Speaker 1: sister doesn't live with you, so it's a little different. 221 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 1: But it's hard because everyone does things at their own pace, 222 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:50,720 Speaker 1: and things were different for us. Things were very different, 223 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: especially for the older ones. It's just our parents are 224 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: always harder on us, like, way more strict, and we're 225 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,800 Speaker 1: living in a different time where I'm sorry, but I 226 00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,959 Speaker 1: see a lot of laziness happening, Like a lot of 227 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 1: people don't necessarily want to work or feel the need 228 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: or I don't know, it's just some stuff that I'm like, 229 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: oh shit, like it's worrisome. So I get that. I 230 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:15,040 Speaker 1: think more than anything, you have to be okay with 231 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,720 Speaker 1: letting her be defensive. She's gonna be pissed, she's gonna 232 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,400 Speaker 1: get mad if she's not gonna accept it, and you 233 00:12:20,480 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: have to be okay with that. Hopefully she's receptive. But 234 00:12:22,800 --> 00:12:25,720 Speaker 1: there's that chance where you're saying I'm afraid of her 235 00:12:25,800 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: being defensive, Well f that, who cares as long as 236 00:12:29,240 --> 00:12:33,560 Speaker 1: you're telling her respectfully, not being disrespectful, but telling her. Look, look, 237 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:35,679 Speaker 1: you need to get your shit together, babe, Like you 238 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,199 Speaker 1: need to go to school. You need to get a job. 239 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: I don't know, go work at Starbucks wherever. But you 240 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:41,959 Speaker 1: need to have some type of income. You need to 241 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,760 Speaker 1: have some type of responsibility. And it's better for you 242 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,199 Speaker 1: to tell her and leave that little seed. Plant that 243 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,680 Speaker 1: little seed. So when she's alone, even though she'll get pissed, 244 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:52,959 Speaker 1: but when she's alone, she's gonna hear it. At least 245 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,200 Speaker 1: she's gonna know. Damn, my sister told me. So, don't 246 00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 1: worry about her getting upset. Let her get mad, as 247 00:12:59,720 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: long as you know you're doing the right thing. So 248 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:03,880 Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know if she does she 249 00:13:03,920 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 1: have responsibilities. Does she pay rent? Maybe it's time for 250 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 1: her to pay a little bit of rent. I don't know, 251 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: things like that, pay your own phone bill, your own car, 252 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,839 Speaker 1: or your own insurance. I give her some type of 253 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,160 Speaker 1: responsibility where she has no other choice but to say 254 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,280 Speaker 1: I need to figure out how I'm gonna make money. 255 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,400 Speaker 1: But don't be scared to tell her the truth. Let 256 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:22,400 Speaker 1: her get mad. You're gonna feel good being honest versus 257 00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,600 Speaker 1: just saying oh, mickay, yeah, and I didn't say anything 258 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,120 Speaker 1: because I didn't want her to get upset and then 259 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:30,880 Speaker 1: you feel worse later. Say the truth straight up. Boom 260 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,920 Speaker 1: here it is. But there has to be some type 261 00:13:33,920 --> 00:13:36,160 Speaker 1: of responsibility in my opinion, I don't know. I wish 262 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,400 Speaker 1: I had a little bit more information, but that is 263 00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,960 Speaker 1: my advice. With that being said, thank you to Nadia, Gabby, 264 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:45,679 Speaker 1: Miriam and Andrea for contributing to this week's episode of 265 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,640 Speaker 1: Dear Cheeky's. I love listening to your questions every week 266 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 1: and I truly do my best to give you my 267 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,120 Speaker 1: very best advice. I feel like we're building a little 268 00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,040 Speaker 1: community of support here and that's all things to you, guys, 269 00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,719 Speaker 1: so thank you so so much. We'll be back next 270 00:13:59,720 --> 00:14:03,120 Speaker 1: week with a new episode and a new batch of questions, 271 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 1: so stay tuned for that, and if you want to 272 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,120 Speaker 1: leave your questions for me, head over to speakpipe dot 273 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:12,280 Speaker 1: com slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. That is Speakpipe dot 274 00:14:12,360 --> 00:14:18,200 Speaker 1: Com slash Cheekys and Chill podcast. This is a production 275 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,560 Speaker 1: of iHeartRadio and the Microdura podcast Network. Follow us on 276 00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 1: Instagram at Michaeldura Podcasts and follow me Cheeky's That's c 277 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,800 Speaker 1: h i q u i s. 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