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Speaker 1: Not forgiving someone is like drenching yourself in fuel, lighting

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Speaker 1: a match and hoping that they catch on fire. So

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Speaker 1: when you don't forgive, it's really just hurting you. I'm

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Speaker 1: Raley Wukiah and on my podcast A Really Good Cry,

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Speaker 1: we embrace the messy and the beautiful, providing a space

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Speaker 1: for raw, unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you

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Speaker 1: to tune in to learn, connect and find comfort together.

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Speaker 1: You know what, this last weekend, I was feeling really annoyed,

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Speaker 1: and all these people and all these things that had

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Speaker 1: irritated me were repeating in my mind. And honestly, I

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Speaker 1: generally am someone who forgets and forgives and moves on

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Speaker 1: pretty fast.

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Speaker 2: I don't hold grudges.

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Speaker 1: Once I've felt something, I'll usually try and process it.

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Speaker 2: And move on.

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Speaker 1: And a lot of the times people will say, oh,

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Speaker 1: don't remember when this person did this, And I can

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Speaker 1: honestly say, I just don't. Like I have very vague

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Speaker 1: memories of things that have hurt me or things that

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Speaker 1: people do. I don't hold count in my mind of

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Speaker 1: what people have done that have hurt me because I

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Speaker 1: just don't want to live like that. But the thing

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Speaker 1: is recently, I've noticed certain things and people and every

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Speaker 1: time I'm around them, I find myself irritated, and sometimes

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Speaker 1: even hearing their name creates this sour feeling inside of me.

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Speaker 1: And so this last weekend, I was sitting and I

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Speaker 1: was really just trying to work through it, like why

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Speaker 1: do these people annoy me so much that I just

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Speaker 1: can't let go and that they keep being repeated in

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Speaker 1: my mind and in my thoughts over and over again

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Speaker 1: at the most random times. And I realized that a

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Speaker 1: big part of it was because I felt like I

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Speaker 1: deserved an apology. I felt like I was owed an

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Speaker 1: apology from them, like that chapter just hadn't been closed

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Speaker 1: or I needed their behavior to be explained to me.

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Speaker 1: But what I also realized was that I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to feel those things inside of me. I didn't want

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Speaker 1: to be angry. I didn't want to have these negative

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Speaker 1: thoughts about them. I don't want to deep down not

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Speaker 1: wish someone well, because let's be honest, sometimes when someone

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Speaker 1: you don't like or someone that has hurt you, when

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Speaker 1: their happiness or successes in life come about, it can

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Speaker 1: really annoy you too, like why do they deserve that?

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Speaker 1: Why do they even get that, and I want to

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Speaker 1: feel happy for people, no matter who they are. I

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Speaker 1: don't want to feel that negative emotions and those negative

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Speaker 1: patterns in my mind, because the fact is me thinking

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Speaker 1: those thoughts about them only creates toxicity inside of me,

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Speaker 1: and those small toxic thoughts become toxic actions and toxic behaviors,

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Speaker 1: and then they breed and breed, and before you know it,

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Speaker 1: it's not just a toxic thought, it's a toxic you.

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Speaker 1: One thing I came to the conclusion of over the

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Speaker 1: weekend was that we often end up thinking that we

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Speaker 1: need to tell the person that hurt us that they've

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Speaker 1: hurt us. We want to explain the pain, have them

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Speaker 1: really understand it, have them feel it too, tell them

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Speaker 1: you hurt me and this is why, and it hurt

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Speaker 1: me in this way, and you should be ashamed of

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Speaker 1: yourself or you should be really sorry. But the reality is,

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Speaker 1: no matter how many apologies well receive or how much

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Speaker 1: we tell someone they've hurt us, it does not repair,

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Speaker 1: heal or comfort us unless we choose to let go

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Speaker 1: of it too. You could receive the best, most perfect

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Speaker 1: apology that you could ever want on paper, but does

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Speaker 1: that heal the pain for you. I can think about

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Speaker 1: past times, whether that's happened and someone said sorry in

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Speaker 1: a genuine way, they really meant it. I could feel

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Speaker 1: they meant it, and yes, it made me feel better

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Speaker 1: about them as a person. I was like, Okay, great,

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Speaker 1: they're not a terrible person. It changed the perspective of

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Speaker 1: them in my mind. But did it change how I

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Speaker 1: was feeling? Did it take away the pain? I don't

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Speaker 1: think it did. And in my case, I realized that

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Speaker 1: it was me that I had to work through it,

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Speaker 1: and telling the person actually had no or very little

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Speaker 1: impact on how much better I would feel. Many times,

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Speaker 1: for me, it's just getting out. It's me understanding my feelings,

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Speaker 1: not them that makes me feel better. And it's inevitable

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Speaker 1: that someone along our life is going to hurt us.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure you've been hurt in your life many many times.

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Speaker 1: It's just part of life. Whether it's big things, small things,

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Speaker 1: whether it's someone cutting you up in when you're driving,

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Speaker 1: whether it's a family member saying something that they didn't mean,

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Speaker 1: whether it's your partner agitating you or saying something rude

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Speaker 1: to you, whether it's your mom misunderstanding you. You know,

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Speaker 1: there's so many scenarios where we can get upset and

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Speaker 1: hurt and it all comes through our own filters. Right,

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Speaker 1: It's like one thing that would upset me may not

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Speaker 1: upset you. I think that might upset you, may not

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Speaker 1: upset me. Upset is just going to happen. I think

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Speaker 1: it's part and part of just like happiness happens, sadness happens,

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Speaker 1: anger happens. We get all of these feelings and all

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Speaker 1: of these emotions, but these emotions are not supposed to

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Speaker 1: store inside of us. And I remember learning this in

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Speaker 1: a Vada and it just like hit me like a rug.

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Speaker 1: And I remember it saying how so many of our

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Speaker 1: health conditions and our the disease in our bodies all

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Speaker 1: start or are sparked by emotions that are held and

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Speaker 1: pent up and stagnant in our body. And so from

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Speaker 1: when I heard that, I was like, I am not

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Speaker 1: holding emotions. So I became very really aware of when

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Speaker 1: I was getting repeated thoughts about people that were negative,

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Speaker 1: when I was feeling negative emotions when I met someone,

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Speaker 1: whether it was about them or whether it was just

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Speaker 1: my insecurities creating them, my jealousy, my perception of myself

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Speaker 1: tainting the way that I saw somebody else. But if

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Speaker 1: you're waiting for your emotions or your pain to be

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Speaker 1: healed by the words or actions of somebody else or

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Speaker 1: how someone else handles that situation, it actually makes you

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Speaker 1: less in control of your joy or your happiness. So

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Speaker 1: the first realization I came to this weekend was that

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Speaker 1: telling the person that hurt you that they hurt you

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Speaker 1: won't actually help heal you. And until you process it

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Speaker 1: and allow it to leave your system, the pain will

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Speaker 1: not leave you. And carrying that and resentment around with

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Speaker 1: you actually stops you from moving on. If it's still

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Speaker 1: with you, then they're with you too. So seriously, let

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Speaker 1: it go. Let go of it, whether it's small or big,

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Speaker 1: because it is taking up space where love could be

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Speaker 1: in you. It is taking your time that they probably

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Speaker 1: don't deserve, and it's giving energy to something that is

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Speaker 1: not serving you to feel better or to be better.

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Speaker 1: The second realization I came to was we think that

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Speaker 1: forgiveness is something you're doing for the other person. It's

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Speaker 1: something you do as a kind, loving gesture to someone else.

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Speaker 1: I forgive you, But really forgiveness is a gift that

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Speaker 1: you give them and you I forgive you means I

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Speaker 1: let go of the wrong you've done, and I no

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Speaker 1: longer carry it with me. The anger, the resentment I

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Speaker 1: felt for you leave my mind and my heart and

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Speaker 1: my body, and I no longer hold you responsible for

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Speaker 1: the pain that I feel. I mean, isn't that amazing?

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Speaker 1: Is that definition of I forgive you not so much

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Speaker 1: deeper than the superficial meaning, where yeah, I may tell

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Speaker 1: you I've forgiven you, but I still hold it in

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Speaker 1: my heart and the next time you do something like that,

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Speaker 1: and the next time I get triggered, I'll bring it

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Speaker 1: all back up. That doesn't benefit you or the other person.

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Speaker 1: I heard this one quote and it really sums it

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Speaker 1: up so perfectly. Not forgiving someone is like drenching yourself

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Speaker 1: in fuel, lighting a match and hoping that they catch

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Speaker 1: on fire. So when you don't forgive, it's really just

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Speaker 1: hurting you. It may hurt the other person if they

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Speaker 1: love you, of course it will. It will tear them

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Speaker 1: apart that you aren't able to forgive them for something

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Speaker 1: that they've done. But on top of that, it also

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Speaker 1: damages you to And you know what, there will be

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Speaker 1: times where someone is truly sorry and times where someone

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Speaker 1: is not there'll be times someone will apologize and other

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Speaker 1: times where they just won't. But the more you release

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Speaker 1: the desire for someone else to heal the pain that

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Speaker 1: they've caused and realize that you most definitely have it

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Speaker 1: in you to help and heal yourself, the more empowering

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Speaker 1: those moments will be.

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Speaker 2: And usually when.

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Speaker 1: I think about why I would hold on to pain,

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Speaker 1: sometimes it would be because I felt like, if I

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Speaker 1: let go of the pain, it means what they did

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Speaker 1: was okay. And I think a lot of us probably

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Speaker 1: do that. If I let go of the pain, it

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Speaker 1: erases what they did. It takes away from them feeling

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Speaker 1: sorry about it. It lessens the impact that it will

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Speaker 1: have on the other person. We have to remember that's

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Speaker 1: not true. Forgiving someone does not make what they did okay.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't justify their behavior. It doesn't give them the

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Speaker 1: opportunity to hurt you again unless you let them. Forgiveness

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Speaker 1: doesn't make you weak, and holding onto the pain does

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Speaker 1: not make you stronger. I'm gonna say that one more

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Speaker 1: time because it is so true. Forgiveness does not make

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Speaker 1: you weak, and holding onto pain does not make you stronger.

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Speaker 2: Actually, it's literally the opposite.

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Speaker 1: Holding onto pain doesn't just make you mentally weak and fatigued,

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Speaker 1: but pain, anger, and resentment, like I said, are stored

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Speaker 1: in the body and it caused physical illness and weakness.

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Speaker 1: So actually does the complete opposite. When you withhold forgiveness,

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Speaker 1: you are just choosing to hold on to resentment, bitterness,

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Speaker 1: and pain inside of you. And so it comes down

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Speaker 1: to what are you feeding. Are you feeding the part

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Speaker 1: of you that wants to heal, grow, be better, or

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Speaker 1: are you feeding and nurturing the pain that eventually gets

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Speaker 1: bigger and bigger and bigger, Because that's what happens. Where

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Speaker 1: your energy flows is what grows. And so what do

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Speaker 1: you want to grow inside of you?

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Speaker 2: Do you want to.

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Speaker 1: Grow growth and hope and joy or are you choosing

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Speaker 1: to hold on to the pain and in turn grow

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Speaker 1: that pain, resentment, and anger. Sometimes I think we have

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Speaker 1: this imagination of forgiving, meaning that the pain goes away.

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Speaker 1: I have forgiven someone when I stop feeling pain, But

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Speaker 1: sometimes that doesn't happen. Forgiveness doesn't mean you're still not upset.

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Speaker 1: It just means that you are ready to move forward.

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Speaker 1: It's not like you suddenly get amnesia of all the

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Speaker 1: events or the person that hurt you. You simply make

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Speaker 1: this conscious choice that I will not let this be

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Speaker 1: a weight that I carry around with me. You just

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Speaker 1: decide that you're no longer a prisoner of your past

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Speaker 1: or a prisoner of your pain. So, going back to

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Speaker 1: the people in my life that hurt me and that

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Speaker 1: was really annoyed at over the weekend, I decided that

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Speaker 1: telling them was actually just going to cause more harm

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Speaker 1: than good and not actually solve the situation. So instead,

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Speaker 1: I decided to get out all the mean, ugly, horrible

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Speaker 1: things that I couldn't even believe were inside of me,

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Speaker 1: but they were, and I just got them out, whether

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Speaker 1: they were reasonable, unreasonable, whether they were valid, invalid, whatever,

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Speaker 1: those thoughts I was feeling about those people, I started

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Speaker 1: to pour onto paper, and it helps make sense of

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Speaker 1: it. It almost creates this map of where it originated from,

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Speaker 1: why I feel like this now, the things that triggered me.

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Speaker 1: It really helps you not just understand what happened, but

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Speaker 1: understand yourself so much better too, and how you cope

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Speaker 1: and deal with these situations. Ask yourself questions like why

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Speaker 1: did it really hurt me? What is it about this

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Speaker 1: person that triggers me so much? What is it about

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Speaker 1: that situation that triggered me? What am I waiting for

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Speaker 1: to move on from this? What do I need? A

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Speaker 1: little self assessment and reflection is always so useful in

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Speaker 1: these situations, and sometimes one of my favorite things to

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Speaker 1: do it is write it up and tear it up

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Speaker 1: into tiny, tiny little pieces where nobody could ever read it.

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Speaker 1: But also there's this like cleansing process, burning it, cutting

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Speaker 1: it up, tearing it up, throwing pain all over it,

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Speaker 1: whatever you want to do. But there's something about getting

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Speaker 1: it out onto something and then disposing of it like

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Speaker 1: it never existed. I really think sometimes when there's stagnancy

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Speaker 1: in the mind or the body, you know, that's really

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Speaker 1: what a lot of these emotions end up being.

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Speaker 2: They end up being stagnant in us.

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Speaker 1: What happens with stagnant things Like in ar Veada it

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Speaker 1: says that toxins and discomfort in your stomach and gas

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Speaker 1: and bloating all comes from food that is too stagnant

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Speaker 1: in your gut for too long. It starts to ferment,

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Speaker 1: starts to produce all these gases, and it starts to

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Speaker 1: produce toxins, and so in the same way, our thoughts

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Speaker 1: do that when our thoughts are too stagnant. Sometimes we

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Speaker 1: just need to create movement, and so writing and processing

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Speaker 1: is the movement that's required to remove the stagnancy of thoughts.

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Speaker 1: And you know, when all else fails, the one thing

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Speaker 1: I go back to is praying. I pray every single

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Speaker 1: day to forgive and to be forgiven, because law knows

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Speaker 1: I've done my share of hurting people, I'm sure, sometimes knowingly,

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Speaker 1: sometimes unknowingly, but at the times I find it hard

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Speaker 1: to forgive others I feel. Praying feels hopeful, it feels

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Speaker 1: like you're putting it into God's hands, and sometimes that's

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Speaker 1: all you can do, especially when you feel like you're

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Speaker 1: out of control, especially if you feel like that person

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Speaker 1: is not responding in the way that you want them to.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I've spoken to people who felt anger

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Speaker 1: towards people who have even passed away. How do you

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Speaker 1: get rid of that? You can't communicate with them. The

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Speaker 1: only way you can is through your own words and thoughts.

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Speaker 1: But there's no reciprocation. And it's almost like when you

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Speaker 1: can when you go to your mom crying and they

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Speaker 1: give you a hug and you tell them all your problems,

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Speaker 1: and you know that feeling of Okay, they've got the

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Speaker 1: weight of that on them too. They're going to take

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Speaker 1: it from me in the same way. If we can

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Speaker 1: learn how to surrender to God in that way, to

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Speaker 1: the universe, and that way to nature, in that way

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Speaker 1: with any kind of name you want to call God,

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Speaker 1: it's all the same, really, But whoever you want to

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Speaker 1: pass it off to God, universe, nature, there is something

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Speaker 1: really special of saying it's in your hands now. I

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Speaker 1: can't do anything, and me trying to control the situation

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Speaker 1: is not making it better.

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Speaker 2: So I have to just surrender it to you. Just

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Speaker 2: give it to you.

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Speaker 1: You handle it, because at this point, nothing I do

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Speaker 1: is making it better. And so I don't just give

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Speaker 1: you my forgiveness. I am putting my anger in your hands.

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Speaker 1: I'm putting all my emotions in your hands, and I'm

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Speaker 1: saying I just surrender it all.

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Speaker 2: I can't handle it anymore.

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Speaker 1: And this is all going to you, and whatever you

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Speaker 1: think is best for me to learn the lessons I

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Speaker 1: need to in life. You do with it what you want,

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Speaker 1: you do with it, what you think is best. Because

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Speaker 1: I only have a small perspective of what I think

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Speaker 1: is best for myself and honestly, that has really helped

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Speaker 1: me in many, many situations, just surrender, surrendering things that

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Speaker 1: no longer feel like they're benefiting me, but passing it

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Speaker 1: on to safe hands that you know will look after you.

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Speaker 1: I have a strong belief that what is meant to

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Speaker 1: be is meant to be, and trying to punish someone

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Speaker 1: and making someone feel bad for what they've done is

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Speaker 1: often not our job. It may feel like it's our job,

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Speaker 1: but it's really not. That is for good to handle.

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Speaker 1: And of course in extreme situations, by the way, where

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Speaker 1: someone has been harmed or gone through really awful, horrible things,

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Speaker 1: it's so much harder to apply this. And so I

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Speaker 1: guess I'm talking about the smaller situations, the ones that

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Speaker 1: don't feel so life or death or so threatening, because

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Speaker 1: we go through this on a daily basis with I

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Speaker 1: feel like these ebbs and flows of emotions come through

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Speaker 1: us regularly, and that's the point. They have to come

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Speaker 1: through us, not sit in us. So try and look

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Speaker 1: for the blessings in the lessons, or remind yourself that

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Speaker 1: things don't happen just because maybe this was the pain

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Speaker 1: that was meant to come to me to show me

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Speaker 1: something about myself or to actually protect me in the future,

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Speaker 1: and so do me and you both a favor. And

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Speaker 1: this season of shedding and letting go, just like the

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Speaker 1: trees are outside, let go and shed the painful emotions

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Speaker 1: that you are holding onto to create room for all

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Speaker 1: the goodness that is waiting to enter if you so

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Speaker 1: let it. Forgiveness is different from condoning or forgetting or reconciliation.

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Speaker 1: I read this when I was reading up about forgiveness,

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Speaker 1: and it said condoning removes the offense, forgetting removes the awareness,

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Speaker 1: and reconciliation restores a relationship. And you can really decide

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Speaker 1: what step you want to take. Do you want to forgive,

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Speaker 1: do you want to forget, or do you want to

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Speaker 1: reconcile with the person and make efforts of that. I

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Speaker 1: think it really depends on your situation. There's a psychologist

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Speaker 1: called Robert Enwright, and he says there's four steps to forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: The first step is to uncover your anger by exploring

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Speaker 1: how you've avoided or addressed the emotion. The second is

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Speaker 1: to make the decision to forgive. You have to make

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Speaker 1: a conscious decision to forgive. First, you have to acknowledge

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Speaker 1: that ignoring or coping with the offense hasn't worked, and

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Speaker 1: that forgiveness might provide a path forward. So recognizing that

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Speaker 1: forgiveness is something you need to do. The third is

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Speaker 1: to cultivate forgiveness by developing compassion for the person. And

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Speaker 1: what I realized is in these situations, you basically have

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Speaker 1: to do what makes you forgive the person. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: mean it's true, it doesn't mean you're justifying their behavior.

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Speaker 1: I just want to really clarify that because there's many

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Speaker 1: times when someone hurts me and I'm like, okay, I

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Speaker 1: can understand where that came from because all the way

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Speaker 1: back to oh, okay, this is how their parents were

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Speaker 1: as they grew up, and they grew up as an

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Speaker 1: only child, and then they had this happen, and this happened,

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Speaker 1: this happened, so maybe that explains why their behavior is

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Speaker 1: like this. So an explain can actually help in your mind.

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Speaker 1: It does not justify. It just helps you to come

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Speaker 1: to terms with why that happened to you. So there's

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Speaker 1: a big difference between that. And lastly, he says, release

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Speaker 1: the harmful emotions and reflect on how you may have

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Speaker 1: grown from the experience and the act of forgiveness itself.

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Speaker 1: And so these four steps are similar to what I've

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Speaker 1: already mentioned before, but it's quite nice when there's like

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Speaker 1: a scientist or a psychologist that's kind of backed up.

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Speaker 1: There's this time called forgivingly fit, and I thought that

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Speaker 1: was really good because sometimes we think that forgiveness should

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Speaker 1: be something that just comes to us, that it's easy,

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Speaker 1: that it's a human emotion, and that it should just

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Speaker 1: be there. But sometimes it's not. Sometimes it's actually really

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Speaker 1: hard to forgive. I find there's people in my life

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Speaker 1: who find it very easy and other people in my

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Speaker 1: life who find it extremely hard. They hold onto every

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Speaker 1: single thing, everything stays in their mind. They will remember

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Speaker 1: every bad thing that someone's done to them, and so

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Speaker 1: for that it needs to be a practice. And so

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Speaker 1: forgivingly fit means just like you would do a workout

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Speaker 1: to make yourself stronger, So it's basically working your forgiving

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Speaker 1: muscles essentially.

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Speaker 2: So what would that mean?

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Speaker 1: That would mean just like you end up working out

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Speaker 1: every single day, how can I add forgiveness workouts into

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Speaker 1: my life every single day? So you could start by

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Speaker 1: making a commitment to yourself to not talk about the

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Speaker 1: people that I've hurt you. And that is such a

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Speaker 1: huge one for me because what I notice is even

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Speaker 1: with my friends, when they come and they meet me

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Speaker 1: and they start telling me this person did this or

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Speaker 1: this person did this, it makes the problem so much bigger.

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Speaker 1: And then I'd be like, oh, my gosh, I can't

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Speaker 1: believe she did that to you.

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Speaker 2: That is so horrible.

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Speaker 1: That is terrible. You know, as naturally as a friend

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Speaker 1: would be, you'd be supportive. And the way that you

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Speaker 1: sometimes support is by saying, yes, they did you wrong,

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Speaker 1: that was a wrong thing to do. But sometimes we

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Speaker 1: focus on the wrong that's done rather than Okay, but

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Speaker 1: how can I help you heal from this? And so

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Speaker 1: in the same way, for me, I actually take a

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Speaker 1: second before I talk about someone hurting me to anybody else.

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Speaker 1: My initial reaction is not to call someone anymore and

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Speaker 1: say this person hurt me, they did this, this, and this,

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Speaker 1: because one, if it's someone that's close to you, it

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Speaker 1: creates a bad image of that person to whoever you're

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Speaker 1: telling and they will not be able to unsee that.

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Speaker 1: And secondly, it fuels the problem, it fuels the emotion

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Speaker 1: you're feeling, and so try not to talk about that

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Speaker 1: person and going even further than that. It's easy to

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Speaker 1: talk about people that you don't like, and it's actually

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Speaker 1: a dangerous thing to do because you justify in your

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Speaker 1: mind because you're like, oh, they've done wrong to me,

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Speaker 1: and so now talking about them is okay. But gossip

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Speaker 1: is gossip, and so if you are negatively talking about somebody,

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Speaker 1: you are creating negative emotions inside of you, and it's

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Speaker 1: making you a toxic person. And so it's different if

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Speaker 1: it's then in a strategic way where you're really trying

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Speaker 1: to work through it, But differentiate between trying to talk

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Speaker 1: through it or just trying to get somebody on your

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Speaker 1: side by telling someone how terrible that person is and

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Speaker 1: just trying to get someone to agree with you to

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Speaker 1: make yourself feel better. You don't have to say good

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Speaker 1: things about them. You don't have to agree when someone says,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, this person is so lovely.

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Speaker 2: You can just stay quiet.

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Speaker 1: If someone has hurt you, you do not have to

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Speaker 1: go around telling people that someone hurt you. It actually

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00:20:01,840 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: adds so much more fuel to the fire and it

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00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 1: creates toxicity inside of you. It is the same thing

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Speaker 1: as gossip. So don't have to say good things, but

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Speaker 1: you can just refrain from saying bad things, and then

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Speaker 1: you'll be feeding your more forgiving side rather than you're

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00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:19,880
Speaker 1: angry and upset side. And checking with yourself is your

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Speaker 1: pride taking over, because sometimes that can weaken your efforts

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Speaker 1: to forgive as well by making you feel entitled and inflated,

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Speaker 1: like I deserve this. This person did wrong to me,

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Speaker 1: so I'm going to wait until they come groveling back

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Speaker 1: to me ten times and saying sorry ten times, and

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Speaker 1: make up for it by doing this, this and this,

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Speaker 1: and so you end up being more righteous and sitting

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Speaker 1: in your ego rather than sitting in your heart. So

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Speaker 1: try and catch yourself when you're acting from that place,

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Speaker 1: and try and act from a place of heart and forgiveness.

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Speaker 1: There's also this other practice which I've done before when

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Speaker 1: I haven't felt like I can talk to the person

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Speaker 1: I know I said writing it down, But there's also

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Speaker 1: imagining sitting in front of that person and practicing saying

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Speaker 1: what you would to forgive them, What does it look like, like,

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00:21:04,320 --> 00:21:07,200
Speaker 1: what is the whole situation? Play it out in your head,

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Speaker 1: because there's been lots of research that shows that when

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Speaker 1: our brain thinks about forgiving someone and goes through the

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00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: process of forgiving someone, your heart already softens, like you've

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Speaker 1: almost gone through the entire journey of forgiving someone just

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Speaker 1: by imagining it from start to finish, And so it

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Speaker 1: just increases your empathy and the likelihood of you feeling

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00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,840
Speaker 1: much better about the situation. And just remember that forgiveness

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Speaker 1: is a process. It takes time and patience and determination.

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Speaker 1: It does not have to happen overnight. Someone's done something

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Speaker 1: bad to you, Let them suffer a little bit, okay,

435
00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,960
Speaker 1: keep them on their toes. You do not have to

436
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: forgive straight away. But for your own sake, I highly

437
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:49,159
Speaker 1: recommend forgiving fast, because for your own heart health and

438
00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 1: for your own emotional health, you will feel so much

439
00:21:51,600 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 1: better for it,