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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: I was often very very caught up in the event,

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Speaker 2: you know, the trigger, the thing, and I learned that

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Speaker 2: nine times out of ten, the thing is not happening.

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Speaker 2: It's just my thoughts that are making me feel this way.

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Speaker 2: And if I can get control of what I'm telling

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Speaker 2: myself in this moment, then I'm going to be okay.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Cultivating her Space acts dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 3: like you.

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Speaker 4: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 3: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 4: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 4: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 4: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 4: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 4: black women can just.

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Speaker 3: Be Hey, lady, is doctor dom here from the Cultivating

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Speaker 3: her Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the

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Speaker 3: state of California in contemplating starting your therapy journey? Well,

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Speaker 3: if so, please reach out to me at doctor Dominique

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Speaker 3: Brussard dot com. That's d R D O m I

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Speaker 3: n I q U E b r O U ss

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Speaker 3: ar D dot to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation.

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Speaker 3: I look forward to hearing from you.

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Speaker 4: All right, lady, get ready for today's episode. Okay. We

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Speaker 4: are so excited because today we are making history on

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Speaker 4: the Cultivating her Space podcast and we have our very

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Speaker 4: first independent black owned business sponsoring not only today's episode, okay,

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Speaker 4: but all episodes for this month. All right, And this

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Speaker 4: is a huge deal for us. For us, it's a

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Speaker 4: testament of what's possible when we come together as a

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Speaker 4: black community. And just so y'all know, the Cultivating her

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Speaker 4: Space podcast is black founded, black owned, and black funded,

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Speaker 4: and with our special guests for today, we are keeping

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Speaker 4: the black dollar in our community and supporting one another's calls. So,

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Speaker 4: if you're interested in being a sponsor. You can visit

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Speaker 4: herspacepodcast dot com or email Herspace podcast at gmail dot

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Speaker 4: com and be sure to pay special attention to today's

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Speaker 4: episode and support our guests as much as possible. So

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Speaker 4: go take a look at her website, book a session

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Speaker 4: with her, follow her on social media like our run

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Speaker 4: it up? Okay, all right, y'all, so here we go.

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Speaker 4: Lashonda mclauren is a military wife, mom of two amazing

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Speaker 4: little rascals, and a licensed clinical mental health counselor, and

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Speaker 4: she has a passion for helping women live the life

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Speaker 4: they desire. She founded her private practice, mclauren Mental Wellness,

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Speaker 4: PLLC in twenty eighteen with the purpose of helping women

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Speaker 4: overcome fear, worry, and anxiety. In her five years of business,

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Speaker 4: Lashonda has helped over two hundred and fifty women and

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Speaker 4: provided over nine hundred individual sessions to women across the country.

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Speaker 4: Wow can y'all say wow? Along with being a licensed

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Speaker 4: therapist in the states of North Carolina, Maryland, and Texas,

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Speaker 4: Lashonda is a certified clinical military counselor, certified Anxiety Specialist,

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Speaker 4: Nationally Certified counselor, speaker, and life coach whose style is

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Speaker 4: supportive and solution focused. Lashonda also is the host of

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Speaker 4: the Inspiring Women Weekly podcast, which has over one hundred

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Speaker 4: episodes in over two hundred thousand downloads. The podcast encourages

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Speaker 4: women to push harder, go further, and shine brighter by

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Speaker 4: sharing her personal stories, wisdom and knowledge. Lashonda, we are

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Speaker 4: so excited to have you on the podcast today. Welcome

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Speaker 4: to Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Thank you so much for having me. I am super

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Speaker 2: duper excited to be here with you all. I really

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Speaker 2: appreciate all that you do and I am excited.

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Speaker 3: Yes, we are looking forward to this interview, and so

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Speaker 3: we are going to start with our quote of the day,

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Speaker 3: which Lashonda, these words will sound familiar to you because

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Speaker 3: these are your words. We've been on your website in

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Speaker 3: your social media and you say you share inspiring words

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Speaker 3: from other folks, but these were your words. Slow down cists,

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Speaker 3: enjoy the view. You're on time and on track, no

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Speaker 3: need to rush. Now that was a word, and I'm

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Speaker 3: repeated one more time for the folks in the back

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Speaker 3: to make sure they caught it. Slow down sists, enjoy

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Speaker 3: the view, You're on time and on track, no need

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Speaker 3: to rush. Well, Shonda, when you hear your words spoken

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Speaker 3: back to you. What comes up for you? What inspired

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Speaker 3: that particular quote?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, this is me, I am sis. I was really

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Speaker 2: talking to myself, like, slow down. When you are a

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Speaker 2: I achieving woman and you have goals and you are

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Speaker 2: trying to get there, you can really really get in

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Speaker 2: a place where you are living in the future. Nothing

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Speaker 2: is about the now. Everything is about the future, and

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Speaker 2: you are really missing life. You are missing those important moments.

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Speaker 2: You are not celebrating your whims big or small. You

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Speaker 2: are just like what's next? What's next? Am I there yet?

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Speaker 2: And you miss so much. So I was telling myself

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Speaker 2: to slow down. And I often realize that when I

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Speaker 2: need to tell myself something, somebody else probably needs to

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Speaker 2: hear it too. So I have been trying to practice

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Speaker 2: being more in the moment and not worrying so much

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Speaker 2: about what's gonna come.

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Speaker 4: Okay, so you're just gonna start off preaching today. Okay,

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Speaker 4: I see you. That is a whole word.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 4: I feel like I have so many questions that I

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Speaker 4: want to ask about what you just share. But I'm

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Speaker 4: going to try to stay focused and let's start from

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Speaker 4: the beginning. So leshanda, if you can share with us

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Speaker 4: your origin story. How did you become the Leshanda McLaurin

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Speaker 4: that we all see today.

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Speaker 2: Who a lot of life. A lot of life brought

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Speaker 2: me to this point, I'll say as a therapist, what

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Speaker 2: brought me to being the therapy is that I am today.

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Speaker 2: It started in high school for me. I went to

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Speaker 2: I live in a very small town growing up, and

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Speaker 2: I found myself not being that popular of a person

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Speaker 2: in high school, but being someone that I would be

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Speaker 2: in class with random kids and they would just feel

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Speaker 2: comfortable enough to tell me something that they hadn't told

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Speaker 2: anybody else before. They would just share things with me

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Speaker 2: and just knew I wouldn't going to tell anybody. It's

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Speaker 2: still to this day, I haven't said anything about a

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Speaker 2: lot of the things that people told me. And I

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Speaker 2: was like, Hm, you know what is this? This feels

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Speaker 2: nice that people see me and they trust me. What

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Speaker 2: can I do with this thing? So I learned about

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Speaker 2: psychology and it's time to go to college and I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I want a major in psychology and they're like, what

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Speaker 2: are you going to do with that? I don't know

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Speaker 2: anybody that's done anything with that. So I was kind

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Speaker 2: of discouraged initially from going into that field. So I

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Speaker 2: went to school for journalism. I wanted to be like

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Speaker 2: Jackie Reid on be Et Nightly News, you know, with

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Speaker 2: my sudos, send them behind the desk. And I did

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Speaker 2: that for about a semester and I was like, I

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Speaker 2: cannot fake the this is not for me. I don't

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Speaker 2: know what's gonna come from this psychology thing, but I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna give it a go. So I did that and

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Speaker 2: graduated from with with my bachelor's degree and didn't do

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Speaker 2: anything with it. You know, you got to go further

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Speaker 2: in this field if you want to do something. So

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Speaker 2: I got a very low paying job. I got my

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Speaker 2: first apartment and I'm in there for my second night

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Speaker 2: in my apartment, and something happened that just changed my life.

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Speaker 2: Eleven o'clock at night, I'm in my pajamas in my

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Speaker 2: apartment and two men kicked down my door and held

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Speaker 2: me and my best friend at gunpoint. And that changed

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Speaker 2: my life. I started to experience things that I had

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Speaker 2: never experienced before. You know, I always consider myself to

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Speaker 2: be a scary cat as a kid, like you're not

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Speaker 2: gonna dare me, We're gonna play truth for are you

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Speaker 2: go true? I'm a true for you to death. You're

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Speaker 2: not gonna dare meet because I'm not that tight. But

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Speaker 2: this was different. This was anxiety. This was panic attacks,

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Speaker 2: this was fear, this was I can't sleep, and I

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Speaker 2: was like, what is this? I've never experienced this before.

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Speaker 2: So when the time came for me to go to

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Speaker 2: my studies in school, I'm like, I need to learn

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Speaker 2: more about this thing that has kind of taken over

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Speaker 2: my life in a sense. And that's where my attention

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Speaker 2: to anxiety came from. So when I started mclare mental Illness,

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Speaker 2: I was like, I am definitely because of my personal

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Speaker 2: experiences and because of what I've learned, I want to

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Speaker 2: help other women who've gone through things as traumatic or

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Speaker 2: they just s geared cash like I was as well.

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Speaker 2: So that's what kind of led me to this place.

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Speaker 3: Wow, thank you so much for sharing that, and you know,

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Speaker 3: for any of our listeners out there who made the

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Speaker 3: experiencing any reactions to anything that you just shared. You know,

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Speaker 3: I just want to encourage our listeners to, you know,

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Speaker 3: take a moment, take a pause, and if you got

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Speaker 3: to take a few breaths and come back, you can

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Speaker 3: pause us and come back and take care of yourself first.

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Speaker 3: And so Wellshanda, when you think about that, that experience

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Speaker 3: and that that trauma that you went through, you and

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Speaker 3: your best friend went through, and it moved you, It

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Speaker 3: motivated you into pursuing an advanced degree in mental health.

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Speaker 3: When you think about the work that it took for

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Speaker 3: you to go through your healing, would you mind sharing

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Speaker 3: with us, like, what are some of the things that

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Speaker 3: you had to go through on in your personal journey

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Speaker 3: and perhaps maybe how you use some of that in

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Speaker 3: some of those skills in the work that you do now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a long journey because you just don't

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Speaker 2: know how often you're triggered by stuff. You know, you

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Speaker 2: think you're over it, and then something happens and you're like,

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Speaker 2: you're right back in it. You know, flashbacks are like

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Speaker 2: are real? You know, that stuff is very very real.

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Speaker 2: So the biggest thing that I learned in my process

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Speaker 2: of healing, which is something that I do a lot

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Speaker 2: now with my clients, is the importance of my thoughts.

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Speaker 2: I was often very very caught up in the event,

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Speaker 2: you know, the trigger the thing, and I learned that

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Speaker 2: nine times out of ten, the thing is not happening.

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Speaker 2: It's just my thoughts that are making me feel this way.

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Speaker 2: And if I can get control of what I'm telling

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Speaker 2: myself in this moment, then I'm gonna be okay. I

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Speaker 2: remember one incident where I was like, okay, I have

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Speaker 2: got to get it together. I was about to leave

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Speaker 2: my apartment and at this point I was hooked on

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Speaker 2: my peapole. That was my safety net. Like I would

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Speaker 2: go often to my peak pole just to look out

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Speaker 2: of it and make sure nobody was there. Right, That's

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Speaker 2: something that I did often throughout the day and night.

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Speaker 2: And I got ready to go out of the door,

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Speaker 2: and I got to look through the peapole first. And

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Speaker 2: I looked at the peap pole and I couldn't see anything.

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Speaker 2: It was black. And immediately I began to panic, and

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Speaker 2: my mind was telling me, somebody's there with their finger

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Speaker 2: blocking the peep hole so that you can't see because

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Speaker 2: they're going to get you. Like that's the narrative that

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Speaker 2: my thoughts were telling me made no sense. It's like

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Speaker 2: twelve o'clock noon in the day. You're like, people are

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Speaker 2: walking about, nobody's standing there. My people covering my you know,

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Speaker 2: covering it up. But my thoughts were taking me to

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Speaker 2: a place to have me paralyzed. And finally, after maybe

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Speaker 2: about an hour of trying to convince myself to go

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Speaker 2: out of the door with my pepper sprained hand, I

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Speaker 2: opened the door, went out and just thought it was

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Speaker 2: a flyer. Somebody stuck a flyer on my door and

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Speaker 2: it covered it up, and I said, man, I sat

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Speaker 2: there all that time, not because it was real danger,

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Speaker 2: but because of my thoughts. And that's when I realized

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Speaker 2: that I really really really have to be aware of

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Speaker 2: what I'm telling myself, and I really really have to rationalize,

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Speaker 2: like does this make sense? It's still this likely that

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Speaker 2: this is really happening. I had to begin and they

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Speaker 2: like question myself, interview myself in this moment to really

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Speaker 2: say is this really happening? And this is something I

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Speaker 2: encourage my clients to do. Whenever you are feeling some

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Speaker 2: intense fear or anxiety, check your thoughts, ask yourself, is

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Speaker 2: what you're feeling based off something real or is it

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Speaker 2: just your thoughts?

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Speaker 4: Hey lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to

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Speaker 7: we'll hop right back into the conversation.

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Speaker 4: This is the already so powerful lashondamover taking notes because

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Speaker 4: the next question out we want to ask is about

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Speaker 4: more tips, so you talk about you know, when we

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Speaker 4: think about your expertise. This includes just supporting women with fear, worry, anxiety,

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Speaker 4: navigating trauma, recovering from toxic relationships, addressing boundary issues, all

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Speaker 4: those things and I'm sure there's more there. Could you

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Speaker 4: share additional practical tips for listeners on handling these situations?

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Speaker 4: The one note that I took the takeaways like, check

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Speaker 4: your thoughts, what is the story that you're telling yourself

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Speaker 4: and getting clear on that and trying to figure out

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Speaker 4: if you need to alter that. What are some of

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Speaker 4: the other tools in your toolbox that you share with clients.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so all those things are really kind of you know,

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Speaker 2: setting boundaries can be really scary because people are very

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Speaker 2: afraid to tell other people know or I'm not going

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Speaker 2: on or I don't want to. So there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of anxiety. You know, there can be some PTSD coming

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Speaker 2: out of some of these relationships, you know, So there's

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Speaker 2: a lot of fear word and anxiety at the root

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Speaker 2: of some of these situations. So the first step is

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Speaker 2: realizing the thoughts and not focusing so much on the trigger,

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Speaker 2: but realizing that thoughts cause feelings, not events. And where

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Speaker 2: you can get the thoughts in check, then you can

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Speaker 2: get your feelings in check, and then you can get

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Speaker 2: your behavior in check. But we often skip that very

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Speaker 2: important middle man of what are you thinking about the incident?

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Speaker 2: I love to use example of two people can get

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Speaker 2: in the exact same car accident, exact same car accident,

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Speaker 2: and one person can walk away and jump in another

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Speaker 2: car and drive off, and the other can walk away.

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Speaker 2: And now they have a phobia or they have a

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Speaker 2: fear of driving. What's the difference? The situation was the

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Speaker 2: exact thing saying. The difference are the thoughts they have

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Speaker 2: about it, and that is what's going to impact how

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Speaker 2: you feel on your behavior. So check your thoughts. And

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Speaker 2: then after you check your thoughts and you determine I

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Speaker 2: got some stuff that needs to go. It's not just

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Speaker 2: enough to say get out of your thoughts, you gotta go.

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Speaker 2: You got to replace it with something else. So what

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Speaker 2: do you replace it with? Well, that's where your mantras

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Speaker 2: come in. And I love to help my clients create mantras,

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Speaker 2: and now I kind of have a love hate relationship

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Speaker 2: with mantras because the mantras that are put out there

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Speaker 2: are just is this fluffy stuff like I'm amazing, I

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Speaker 2: can do anything, I can climb in the mountain, and

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Speaker 2: it's like, yes, it's I get it, You're great. But

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Speaker 2: that mantra is not going to help you overcome this anxiety.

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Speaker 2: You haven't about this work meeting today, Like we really

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Speaker 2: need to create something that is going to have some

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Speaker 2: substance and some unk to it. So instead of selling

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Speaker 2: yourself today is going to be amazing, because they might not,

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Speaker 2: you can tell yourself, I am capable of handling whatever

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Speaker 2: comes my way today, creating a mantra that directly reflects

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Speaker 2: what you are dealing with. So once you realize your

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Speaker 2: thoughts to kind of jack up, then you got to

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Speaker 2: create some new thoughts to help you deal with your situations.

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Speaker 2: And then the last tip I give people which say

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Speaker 2: hate to see coming, is that you got to expose

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Speaker 2: yourself to this stuff when you are anxious. Exposure is key,

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Speaker 2: there's no way around it. If you scared of flying,

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Speaker 2: you got to get on the plane eventually. Like you

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Speaker 2: can do simulations and meditation and stuff all day, but

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Speaker 2: eventually you have got to get on the plane. And

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Speaker 2: once you expose yourself to something and you see you

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Speaker 2: didn't die, the earth didn't crack, you know, like everything's okay,

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Speaker 2: then you may be willing to do it again and again,

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Speaker 2: and then there's less fear and less anxiety every time.

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Speaker 2: So checking your thoughts, creating your mantras and then doing

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Speaker 2: the thing. Are the three tips that I have to

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Speaker 2: help when you deal with your fear, worry, and anxiety.

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Speaker 4: Oh so good. So it sounds like you got to

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Speaker 4: go through to get through, is what I hear. Oh okay,

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Speaker 4: that could be tough, but that's good. That's good. Okay, okay,

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Speaker 4: don you want to take us off. I'm just thinking

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Speaker 4: over here and looking at my notes.

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Speaker 2: Woof Yeah.

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Speaker 3: So you know, as I think about the tips that

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Speaker 3: you shared, right, Like, I think about like how like

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Speaker 3: how I was trained as a therapist, and like, yes,

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Speaker 3: your thoughts are that's the biggest component. And I think

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Speaker 3: about this idea of exposure and how important it is

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Speaker 3: to eventually get to that space of exposing yourself to

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Speaker 3: that thing that you might be fearing. How long does

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Speaker 3: it typically take? Because I know there's a lady out

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Speaker 3: there listening. That's like, like you mentioned flying, right, Like,

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Speaker 3: there's a lady listening that's like, well, I have a

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Speaker 3: fear of getting on a plane, And okay, if I

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Speaker 3: come to see you in therapy, how long is it

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Speaker 3: going to take for me to be able to get

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Speaker 3: over this spear? Because I, you know, I my friend

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Speaker 3: got this trip plan and in six months, can I

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Speaker 3: Can I be exposed to flying in six months?

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Speaker 2: Will I be okay? Yeah, that's such a tough question.

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Speaker 2: People love to say, well, how long is it gonna take?

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Speaker 2: You know? Three sessions enough, four sessions enough, you know?

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Speaker 2: And I always say, it depends on you. And the

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Speaker 2: thing about therapy is, let's say I see a client

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Speaker 2: once every two weeks. It's like three hundred some hours

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Speaker 2: in two weeks, and we meet for one hour. What

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Speaker 2: are you doing the other three hundred and something hours?

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Speaker 2: That absolutely matters, you know, So I'm gonna do my part.

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Speaker 2: But if I say, hey, in the meantime, you got

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Speaker 2: to go to the airport and walk around. In the meantime,

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Speaker 2: you gotta maybe watch some videos about this stuff. In

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Speaker 2: the meantime, take a very short flight from one part

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Speaker 2: of your city to the next city over. In the meantime,

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Speaker 2: in between sessions, you got to try to do these

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Speaker 2: things and do your work. So maybe by the six

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Speaker 2: month mark you are good to go with doing this thing.

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Speaker 2: But it just takes you to dedicate yourself to reach

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Speaker 2: the goal. Because therapy can be one hour out of

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Speaker 2: three hundred plus and it's not one hour. It's not enough,

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Speaker 2: you're not going to be committed to do the things

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Speaker 2: in between.

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Speaker 4: That is so good. And don't mind the pauses over here,

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Speaker 4: lady as you listen, because I feel like Domin and

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Speaker 4: I are just taking this all in. I'm just like, wow,

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Speaker 4: that's such a good point. So with Shonda, I years

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Speaker 4: ago I had I experienced I had a situation where

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Speaker 4: there was a home intruder and that it was so traumatic,

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Speaker 4: and so even you sharing your experience, it kind of

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Speaker 4: took me back to that moment. I was like, oh

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Speaker 4: my goodness, I remember what I did was I was

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Speaker 4: replaying the moment over and over, and someone I spoke

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Speaker 4: to is basically like, you're re traumatizing yourself because you're

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Speaker 4: literally just replaying it. And then I got into the

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Speaker 4: what if this happened, and it was just oh man,

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Speaker 4: it really it was really hard for me to sleep

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Speaker 4: peacefully and it really had a great impact on me.

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Speaker 4: So my question for you is how important is what

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Speaker 4: we consume and what we put into our psyche, whether

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Speaker 4: it's like music or social media content or replaying the

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Speaker 4: story and telling it over to like various girlfriends and

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Speaker 4: different friends or everyone that we see. How important is

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Speaker 4: what we're putting into our mind when it comes to

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Speaker 4: us healing from these various situations that we've talked about.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that is so important because you know, I didn't

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Speaker 2: watch the news for a long time after that. I

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Speaker 2: don't need to see about all the especially the local news.

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Speaker 2: I don't need to see about this break in and

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Speaker 2: that break in and things of that nature. You have

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Speaker 2: to know yourself, and just like you have to know

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Speaker 2: when you feel comfortable enough to share your story, you

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Speaker 2: have to know when it's okay for you to watch

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Speaker 2: certain things.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I used to be a law and order girl. Through

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Speaker 2: and through Law and Order SVU was my thing. When

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Speaker 2: the marathon came on, I was sitting and watching all day,

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Speaker 2: you know. But after that happened to me, I couldn't

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Speaker 2: do it anymore, and I still don't all these years later.

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Speaker 2: It is traumatizing to me to see those types of things.

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Speaker 2: So I don't watch movies about killings and shootings, and

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Speaker 2: I don't watch the local news. And it's not because

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Speaker 2: it's gonna make me afraid, but it's like, why even

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Speaker 2: let the possibility or the what if? Creep in? You know?

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Speaker 2: So you have to know yourself know your triggers, and

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Speaker 2: it's like somebody be like, oh, you may be being

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Speaker 2: a scaredy cat. Well, I'm want to be a scaredy

433
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:32,960
Speaker 2: cat that's sleeping well at night because I'm not thinking

434
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,480
Speaker 2: about what happened on this show. I have a very

435
00:23:35,560 --> 00:23:38,600
Speaker 2: vivid imagination, you know, and a lot of times watching

436
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: those things can just help play into your imagination. You

437
00:23:41,520 --> 00:23:44,480
Speaker 2: aren't even thinking about that stuff, and then here comes

438
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 2: something that you let come into your mental space and

439
00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,080
Speaker 2: now you've got to do the work to put it out.

440
00:23:49,640 --> 00:23:52,600
Speaker 2: So controlling what you do is a really really important

441
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 2: that's so powerful, that's all of in your subconscious.

442
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,520
Speaker 4: Now you having dreams about it and you wake up like,

443
00:23:57,560 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 4: why is nightmare?

444
00:23:58,600 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 3: You know?

445
00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:01,200
Speaker 4: Oh this is so good. Okay, we're going to jump

446
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:03,280
Speaker 4: into this conversation a little bit deeper in just a minute.

447
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:05,639
Speaker 4: But Leshanda, we got to shift up the energy a

448
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:09,880
Speaker 4: little bit. And because we recognize to appreciate and celebrate

449
00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:12,760
Speaker 4: the multifaceted woman, and we believe that it's okay to

450
00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:16,680
Speaker 4: be bougie and classy and ratchet, and we believe that

451
00:24:16,720 --> 00:24:19,040
Speaker 4: it's okay for you to be elegant and you can

452
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,639
Speaker 4: dance to shrip club music. If you so choose, we

453
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,159
Speaker 4: want to invite you to the ou Blatchet segment. So

454
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,080
Speaker 4: do you take on the challenge?

455
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 2: Challenge? Accept it?

456
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,320
Speaker 4: That's what we like to hear. Okay, so Leashanda. What

457
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,919
Speaker 4: we're gonna do is we have three questions for you.

458
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 4: We have three sentence completions, and then we have three

459
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:47,440
Speaker 4: photos of you that we found scouring the internet, the interwebs,

460
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 4: and so we're going to share one of those photos

461
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 4: based on a number that you choose, and we want

462
00:24:51,480 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 4: you to provide more context about the photo that we

463
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,119
Speaker 4: wouldn't know just by looking at it. So we're going

464
00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,560
Speaker 4: to jump in with the question. Now, we'll start with

465
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:02,520
Speaker 4: a little softball. The first question is what's the best

466
00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,200
Speaker 4: piece of wisdom or advice you've ever received?

467
00:25:07,400 --> 00:25:11,320
Speaker 2: Ooh, best piece of wisdom or advice? If my mama

468
00:25:11,359 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 2: hear that, she's gonna kill me because she was like,

469
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,399
Speaker 2: you didn't tell them something I told you?

470
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 4: Excitly, I don't say.

471
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:19,520
Speaker 2: The best piece of advice I got is something that

472
00:25:19,520 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 2: I tell other people all the time. And it was

473
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,359
Speaker 2: on my wedding day and the lady from my church

474
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 2: simply came to me and said be nice, and that

475
00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:32,040
Speaker 2: stuck with me. I've been married, it'll be fifteen years

476
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:36,119
Speaker 2: next month, and that be nice things stuck with me,

477
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:40,240
Speaker 2: not just for marriage but in life, Like, you don't

478
00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 2: know what people are going through the story I just

479
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:47,159
Speaker 2: told y'all, nobody know. Nobody will ever know unless I

480
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,080
Speaker 2: tell them. You just never know what kind of day

481
00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 2: I could be having. You don't know that about anybody.

482
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:55,639
Speaker 2: So just being nice, you know, I feel like, you know,

483
00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:57,760
Speaker 2: I used to be a very i'm gonna keep it

484
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:01,320
Speaker 2: real type girl, you know, and real was really rude

485
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:03,879
Speaker 2: and I had to realize that about myself, Like, your

486
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 2: realness is really really rude, sis, so you need to

487
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,879
Speaker 2: calm it down. So I now encourage people to be

488
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,080
Speaker 2: nice to one another. It's a lot y'all going on

489
00:26:11,119 --> 00:26:13,680
Speaker 2: in this world. So I take that into my mind

490
00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,119
Speaker 2: my interact with people to be nice, and I encourage

491
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 2: people to be nice all the time as well.

492
00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 4: So simple, but so powerful. Thank you for sharing.

493
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:26,440
Speaker 3: No, I will, all right, So this next question kind

494
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,600
Speaker 3: of switches up the energy, you know, I mean, maybe

495
00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 3: you know part of being nice might influence your decision

496
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 3: on this next question.

497
00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:36,840
Speaker 2: I'm scared.

498
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:44,479
Speaker 3: I have four words for you twerk or two steps?

499
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:51,880
Speaker 2: Oh, twork all day? There you go all day. I'm

500
00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: from the South. I'm from the South Carolina. I feel

501
00:26:54,040 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 2: like I've been doing some form with tworking since I

502
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:58,040
Speaker 2: was a kid before it had a nave. So that yeah,

503
00:26:58,080 --> 00:27:02,080
Speaker 2: all day. Yes, yes, yes, we love it.

504
00:27:02,080 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 4: We love it. Okay, we're gonna move on to question

505
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:07,280
Speaker 4: number three. Let's shine. The question number three is what's

506
00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:09,320
Speaker 4: the sexiest item you own?

507
00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:14,520
Speaker 2: The sexy I'm gonna say my glasses. Okay. My husband

508
00:27:14,560 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 2: think my glasses are very sexy, and I love like

509
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:21,240
Speaker 2: library chic, so I'm gonna say my glasses. I try

510
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,480
Speaker 2: to make them really sexy and glamorous. So I'm gonna

511
00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 2: say my glasses.

512
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I love it. I am here for it. Okay,

513
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:34,560
Speaker 3: sexy glasses. Okay, library chic. You might need to trademark

514
00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:38,159
Speaker 3: that because people might start using that Library Chic. I

515
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:45,439
Speaker 3: love it all right, So our sentence completion. One question

516
00:27:45,720 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 3: or topic I wish people asked me about more often.

517
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:54,639
Speaker 2: Is I'm obsessed with tennis, like that is one of

518
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,680
Speaker 2: my favorite things in the world. And no, I don't play,

519
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:01,120
Speaker 2: and no I've never played, but I absolutely loved tennis

520
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 2: before we started talking today, what was I doing watching tennis?

521
00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:07,280
Speaker 2: So I love tennis and Nope, a lot of people,

522
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 2: a lot of people don't know this. Nobody ever asked

523
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:10,920
Speaker 2: me about it. But I love tennis and I could

524
00:28:10,920 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 2: probably talk all day about tennis.

525
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,479
Speaker 4: That is so interesting. I think the most interesting thing

526
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 4: about that is that you said you don't play and

527
00:28:19,320 --> 00:28:21,879
Speaker 4: you've never played, but you're so into it. So the

528
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 4: funny thing is, Leshinda. Our next sentence completion is my

529
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 4: favorite thing about tennis.

530
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 2: Is the competitiveness. Like I love basketball and other sports,

531
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,240
Speaker 2: but tennis is one on one. It is one person

532
00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 2: against one person. There's no team to help uplift you.

533
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,040
Speaker 2: If you're losing, you got to dig yourself out of

534
00:28:42,040 --> 00:28:43,760
Speaker 2: that hole. I think I love it because it is

535
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:48,600
Speaker 2: the ultimate mental game of just there's no clock, You

536
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:50,400
Speaker 2: just got to get to the points and it's just

537
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,480
Speaker 2: you on that court. So the competitiveness of tennis.

538
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 4: I love it beautiful.

539
00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,840
Speaker 3: That is Yes, I see that one of my god

540
00:28:58,960 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 3: daughters plays tennis, and you are so right on that

541
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:07,960
Speaker 3: mental agility that is needed that is slightly different than

542
00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:13,440
Speaker 3: other sports. Yes, all right, So our final sentence completion.

543
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 3: What I love most about myself is I.

544
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:23,640
Speaker 2: Think my heart. I think I'm a very caring and

545
00:29:23,720 --> 00:29:28,720
Speaker 2: considerate person. I am a very sensitive person, and I

546
00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,160
Speaker 2: think for a very long time I didn't like that

547
00:29:31,240 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 2: I was that way, But now I love it. I

548
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:36,520
Speaker 2: absolutely love it because I think this is the hard world,

549
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:38,440
Speaker 2: and to be soft in the hard world it's very

550
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: it's rare, it's special. So I feel like I'm a

551
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 2: very special person to be soft in this hard world.

552
00:29:43,600 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 2: So I have my heart.

553
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,880
Speaker 4: Hey man, what a great answer. And also thinking about

554
00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:51,840
Speaker 4: your profession and the businesses that you have, Like who

555
00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 4: wouldn't want a therapist or counselor that doesn't have a

556
00:29:54,400 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 4: big heart and it's empathetic. So that is so amazing.

557
00:29:57,440 --> 00:30:00,920
Speaker 4: We love to hear that. And now we're gonna move

558
00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 4: on to the pictures. But first we want you to

559
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 4: choose a number out of one in three and then

560
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,720
Speaker 4: whatever number you choose will reveal that photo for you.

561
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,800
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go one, one.

562
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 4: Okay, this is cute. This is cute. Get ready to

563
00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 4: get ready. I can't wait to hear the story behind this.

564
00:30:17,680 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 4: And Leshonda, the thing here is some people will only

565
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 4: be tuning into the audio of the podcast. So if

566
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,560
Speaker 4: you could first just describe the photo for folks that

567
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 4: are listening and those that are on Patreon with us,

568
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,680
Speaker 4: they'll see the image. Give us some context about this

569
00:30:30,720 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 4: photo that we would not know by just looking at it.

570
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:42,640
Speaker 2: Oh boy, this is a birthday picture. I am being

571
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:46,160
Speaker 2: very silly in the middle of the sidewalk for my

572
00:30:46,320 --> 00:30:50,080
Speaker 2: thirty fourth birthday and my husband took this picture for me,

573
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:54,240
Speaker 2: And yeah, I was just experiencing a lot of joy,

574
00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 2: even though that year was tough because we were living

575
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,920
Speaker 2: in Maryland. We were brands faking new to the area,

576
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: knew nobody there. But here we are trying to make

577
00:31:04,280 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 2: the best out of, you know, a special day, and

578
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 2: I was just choosing to be my authentic self. I

579
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,200
Speaker 2: am an introvert, but I am so silly and goofy

580
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 2: and I don't really show that often. So I was

581
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 2: just like, I'm just gonna be by my very authentic self.

582
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: So that is me growling all just being authentic.

583
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:27,160
Speaker 4: What's so cute And your caption is also so powerful.

584
00:31:27,160 --> 00:31:29,840
Speaker 4: You were talking about just having your second child and

585
00:31:29,880 --> 00:31:32,120
Speaker 4: how things have changed. I thought that was so beautiful,

586
00:31:32,160 --> 00:31:34,720
Speaker 4: So thank you for sharing. And I think I got

587
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:35,920
Speaker 4: on shorts. I don't know if you can see it,

588
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 4: but I think I have on shorts in that. And

589
00:31:37,280 --> 00:31:40,760
Speaker 4: I hadn't worn shorts in Oh, yeah, I have one shorts.

590
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,880
Speaker 4: I hadn't worn shorts in years because I.

591
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:46,280
Speaker 2: Felt so self conscious because my body changed so much

592
00:31:46,320 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 2: after having kids. But I was like, whatever, y'all gonna

593
00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:49,960
Speaker 2: see these these.

594
00:31:49,880 --> 00:31:53,040
Speaker 4: You know the cell you like today so period and

595
00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,080
Speaker 4: look good with to say, like okay and now wrong

596
00:31:55,120 --> 00:31:57,520
Speaker 4: with that. Thank you for sharing, Lashona, Thank you for

597
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 4: playing along with us, and you know, participating in the

598
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 4: old you blatchet segment. We always appreciate that. So we're

599
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:06,600
Speaker 4: going to hop back into more of the formal interview questions. Now,

600
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:10,560
Speaker 4: let's see where should we dive next time.

601
00:32:12,680 --> 00:32:20,080
Speaker 3: Well, we haven't touched on your military experience yet, so Wellshanda,

602
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: you mentioned that you're a certified clinical military counselor. Working

603
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 3: with the military population is a unique experience, and so

604
00:32:33,400 --> 00:32:37,640
Speaker 3: can you tell us about how you tail your work

605
00:32:37,760 --> 00:32:43,240
Speaker 3: to address the specific needs of women in the military.

606
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:46,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, so, my husband's in the military. He has been

607
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 2: in for twenty years and we are almost about to retire.

608
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 2: Praise the Lord, and I say, military life is life

609
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 2: on steroids. It's like everything that everybody else goes through,

610
00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 2: but more intense and heightened. Like everybody moves, but we

611
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: move every three to two to three years, and everybody

612
00:33:06,120 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 2: this separation. You know, maybe go out of town for

613
00:33:08,400 --> 00:33:11,000
Speaker 2: a week, but we're separated for months and you know,

614
00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,280
Speaker 2: a year from each other. And it's like everything we

615
00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,560
Speaker 2: do the things that other people do, it's just like

616
00:33:15,640 --> 00:33:19,160
Speaker 2: on steroids. And there's a lot of stress, and there's

617
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:23,120
Speaker 2: a lot of anxiety, especially during times of war, like

618
00:33:23,120 --> 00:33:25,480
Speaker 2: whenever there was the Afghanistan and Iraqi war, there was

619
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:27,080
Speaker 2: a lot of stress and a lot of anxiety and

620
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:30,640
Speaker 2: a lot of uncertainty. So it's a very unique population.

621
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:34,520
Speaker 2: It's a very small percentage of people who know what

622
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,000
Speaker 2: it feels like to be in that position. And I

623
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:39,800
Speaker 2: find that when I'm working with individuals who are either

624
00:33:39,840 --> 00:33:41,960
Speaker 2: in the military or there are spouses of someone in

625
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 2: the military. When I'm providing even tho I'm a very

626
00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: solution focused therapist, in those settings, I'm just extremely supportive

627
00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:53,719
Speaker 2: because the military life can feel so isolating. That picture

628
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 2: was me in Maryland, but during that stretch of time,

629
00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:59,320
Speaker 2: we moved three times in four years, and so we

630
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 2: went from North Carolina's and Maryland, Maryland, to Texas, Texas

631
00:34:02,760 --> 00:34:04,640
Speaker 2: back to North Carolina, all in the span of three

632
00:34:04,720 --> 00:34:09,000
Speaker 2: years of four years. So it was isolating. We would

633
00:34:09,040 --> 00:34:12,360
Speaker 2: move places where we knew absolutely no one, and sometimes

634
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 2: in that time we met no one. So you just

635
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,839
Speaker 2: have to lean on who you are around. So when

636
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: I'm working with people who are in the military, I'm

637
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,959
Speaker 2: just there to be supportive, to be a listening ear,

638
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:27,200
Speaker 2: and to be someone that can trust because military people

639
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:30,279
Speaker 2: are always worried about people telling their business. So I

640
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:32,720
Speaker 2: am like, you can tell me, I ain't gonna tell nobody.

641
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:34,960
Speaker 2: I understand what you're going through. But I'm really really

642
00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:37,840
Speaker 2: there to support because it is such a stressful lifestyle.

643
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful for everyone who is in the

644
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:46,160
Speaker 2: military or supporting someone in the military. Cultivating her space

645
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 2: has a passion for helping women feel safe and accept it,

646
00:34:49,400 --> 00:34:52,000
Speaker 2: and here at mclaura Mental Wellness, I have a passion

647
00:34:52,040 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 2: for helping women cultivate a life with less anxiety, fear,

648
00:34:55,080 --> 00:34:58,640
Speaker 2: and worry. Hi. I'm Ashanda mclauren, the founder of mclaur

649
00:34:58,719 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 2: Mental Wellness, pre in anxiety counseling, coaching and courses for women.

650
00:35:03,480 --> 00:35:06,399
Speaker 2: Mclaw Mental Wellness has helped hundreds of women change their

651
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:09,560
Speaker 2: lives and now we want to help you through individual

652
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,600
Speaker 2: therapy and group coaching. We are currently accepting new clients

653
00:35:12,600 --> 00:35:15,359
Speaker 2: for individual therapy. You can book a free fifteen minute

654
00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:19,600
Speaker 2: consultation to get started. And backed by popular demand is

655
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,200
Speaker 2: the Anxiety Management Group for Women. This eight week anxiety

656
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:26,560
Speaker 2: management group discusses a variety of topics related to anxiety

657
00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:29,120
Speaker 2: and teaches you how to manage it in your daily life.

658
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:31,880
Speaker 2: The next group begins on September fifth, and sign up

659
00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,440
Speaker 2: is currently open. All the services are led by me

660
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:38,000
Speaker 2: the Shan McLaurin, a licensed therapist and anxiety specialist who

661
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,399
Speaker 2: has been providing therapy for over ten years and has

662
00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:44,120
Speaker 2: a passion for serving women. To learn more, visit Mclaarmentalwellness

663
00:35:44,239 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 2: dot com. Wow.

664
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 4: When you break it down like that, it's like, oh,

665
00:35:49,040 --> 00:35:53,400
Speaker 4: my goodness, that does sound super intense and also how validating.

666
00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:56,080
Speaker 4: I'm sure it can. I'm sure for folks that get

667
00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:57,760
Speaker 4: a chance to work with you who are in the military,

668
00:35:57,800 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 4: it so validating to have you be living firsthand that

669
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:06,279
Speaker 4: same experience, so especially that unique experience, so amazing to

670
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:08,960
Speaker 4: have you as a resource for them. So, Leschanda, when

671
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 4: you think about your podcast right, Inspiring Women Weekly, and

672
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:14,879
Speaker 4: you have one over one hundred episodes at this point,

673
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 4: what motivated you to start the podcast and how has

674
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:19,960
Speaker 4: that been a source of inspiration and support for the

675
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,240
Speaker 4: women that I'm sure you've heard from around the country

676
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 4: and around the globe.

677
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:28,279
Speaker 2: Yeah. So I started the podcast very shortly after I

678
00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 2: started the business as a way for people to get

679
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 2: to know me. Therapy is so intimate and it can

680
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: be hard for a person to just after one little

681
00:36:37,080 --> 00:36:39,279
Speaker 2: fifteen minute conversation to be like, yeah, I'm gonna tell

682
00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:42,080
Speaker 2: you everything's happening in my life. So I started the

683
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 2: podcast as a way for people to get to know me,

684
00:36:44,640 --> 00:36:47,480
Speaker 2: to hear me, to learn about me, so that if

685
00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:49,520
Speaker 2: they wanted to work with me, they felt more comfortable.

686
00:36:49,520 --> 00:36:51,680
Speaker 2: So when I've received clients from the podcast, they're like,

687
00:36:51,719 --> 00:36:53,200
Speaker 2: I feel like I already know you, Like we don't

688
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:55,400
Speaker 2: even need to talk about a consultation, because I've heard

689
00:36:55,440 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 2: you over this span of time on these episodes. So

690
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:00,680
Speaker 2: that was one reason why or there as a way

691
00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 2: for people to get to know me. The other reason

692
00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 2: was because it was a way for me to help people.

693
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:08,880
Speaker 2: For free. Therapy is not it's not cheap. It's expensive.

694
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:11,560
Speaker 2: You know you're gonna pay me when you work together.

695
00:37:11,600 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 2: You know, it's not cheap. So but I like to

696
00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:17,319
Speaker 2: offer a variety. You know, for me, individual therapy it's

697
00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,799
Speaker 2: the most expensive thing that I offer. A little less

698
00:37:19,840 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: expensive is groups. Even less expensive are courses, and then

699
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,839
Speaker 2: the podcast is free, you know. So it was something

700
00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:28,359
Speaker 2: that I wanted to be able to give to people

701
00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,880
Speaker 2: where you pay nothing to get this help and to

702
00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: receive this stuff, and hopefully it can help carry you

703
00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,120
Speaker 2: until you are able to get some other type of

704
00:37:36,160 --> 00:37:40,560
Speaker 2: services that you may need. So the podcast, though, is

705
00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:43,560
Speaker 2: interesting because I haven't done a podcast in over a year,

706
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:48,000
Speaker 2: and you guys just did an episode recently on burnout

707
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,839
Speaker 2: and I was burnt out. I've been doing it for

708
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,640
Speaker 2: three years and I was burnt out. And I was like,

709
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 2: I'm gonna go on a break for Christmas and I'll

710
00:37:57,120 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 2: see you guys in January and January and I was like, oh,

711
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,799
Speaker 2: this is different. I am still not ready to put

712
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,839
Speaker 2: this microphone back up. And that's when I learned that

713
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:12,560
Speaker 2: burnout can't be resolved by vacation burnout is much deeper

714
00:38:12,600 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: than just go on vacation. You don't feel better when

715
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 2: you get back. I was tired and it has been

716
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:20,200
Speaker 2: a year since I've done over a year since I've

717
00:38:20,239 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 2: done an episode. But I guess I can stay here.

718
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 2: And I hadn't said this to anybody else. But it'll

719
00:38:24,520 --> 00:38:27,359
Speaker 2: be back in like October. I'll start again, and it's

720
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 2: coming back in October, so I think I am ready

721
00:38:31,120 --> 00:38:34,040
Speaker 2: to start back, but and hopefully people are ready to

722
00:38:34,080 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 2: receive and listen. But either way, I just love to

723
00:38:36,719 --> 00:38:38,920
Speaker 2: help people in this way where they're not having to

724
00:38:38,960 --> 00:38:40,920
Speaker 2: pay for some type of information or service.

725
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,920
Speaker 4: Well, thank you for your transparency because this is a

726
00:38:43,920 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 4: lot of work. And I'm so grateful that Dom and

727
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:49,120
Speaker 4: I have each other because shoot, you said three years solo.

728
00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:51,600
Speaker 4: That's a lot. And the good thing is too, Lashanna,

729
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:54,160
Speaker 4: you have the episodes that are there that it's a

730
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,840
Speaker 4: legacy for you, so even if you're not posting episodes,

731
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:58,960
Speaker 4: people can still tune in. So that's really good.

732
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:03,359
Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, I'm glad people can still go to it.

733
00:39:03,640 --> 00:39:06,360
Speaker 2: I had to take a break in. Kudos to you ladies,

734
00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,040
Speaker 2: Like keep pushing, keep going is not for the fate

735
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:10,560
Speaker 2: of heart that I had to learn that in the

736
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 2: hard way. But I'm excited to get started again.

737
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:20,120
Speaker 3: And so as you think about, you know, recovering from

738
00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:26,040
Speaker 3: the burnout and you're getting ready to launch again, when

739
00:39:26,040 --> 00:39:28,880
Speaker 3: you think about, like the lessons that you learned from

740
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:37,200
Speaker 3: that burnout experience, how do you plan on balancing your

741
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:43,000
Speaker 3: private practice, the podcast, and your personal life and anything

742
00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 3: else you may have going on to kind of prevent

743
00:39:46,920 --> 00:39:48,520
Speaker 3: that burnout from happening again.

744
00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I had to have a real conversation with

745
00:39:54,120 --> 00:39:57,520
Speaker 2: myself and realize that I'm a dreamer, which is great,

746
00:39:57,840 --> 00:40:00,960
Speaker 2: but I haven't been a planner. And being a dreamer

747
00:40:01,160 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 2: but not a planner can be an issue because you

748
00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,120
Speaker 2: are doing the most, but you are doing so in

749
00:40:07,200 --> 00:40:09,840
Speaker 2: such a way that it's not beneficial. There's no structure,

750
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:12,799
Speaker 2: there's no order. I do the podcast when it's you know,

751
00:40:12,920 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: it's the day of and I'm trying to record, you know,

752
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:19,359
Speaker 2: there wasn't enough structure. And I realized that I think

753
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 2: I can just do this stuff off my head, but

754
00:40:21,440 --> 00:40:24,760
Speaker 2: I really need a lot of structure to make everything flow.

755
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:26,920
Speaker 2: So I have to go from being a dreamer to

756
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 2: being a planner. So now I am very very structured.

757
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:32,839
Speaker 2: The calendar goes out all the way through next year,

758
00:40:32,920 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 2: like I have to know what am I doing each day,

759
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:37,279
Speaker 2: what am I doing each week, each night, what is

760
00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,160
Speaker 2: planned for the next day. So and that causes even

761
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 2: less anxiety of like, oh, what do I need to do?

762
00:40:42,239 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 2: What I need to do? I know because it's all

763
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 2: planned out what I need to do, and just stick

764
00:40:47,040 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: with the plan. Stick with the plan, and I hope

765
00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:52,640
Speaker 2: that will prevent the burnout in the future and continue

766
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:53,879
Speaker 2: it cause me to continue.

767
00:40:53,600 --> 00:40:55,719
Speaker 4: To be balanced with all the things that I'm doing.

768
00:40:56,840 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 4: So so helpful with Shanna, thank you for sharing that.

769
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 4: I have another question, but as you know, I feel

770
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,160
Speaker 4: very lucky to be between two therapists right now, so

771
00:41:05,200 --> 00:41:08,359
Speaker 4: I kind of want to ask some personal questions that

772
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:10,640
Speaker 4: the listeners can benefit from in addition to the conversation

773
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,240
Speaker 4: we're already having. So I'd love for youtwo if possible

774
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 4: to think of some hot topics that are coming up

775
00:41:15,360 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 4: in therapy, then maybe we could offer some solutions for

776
00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 4: as far as the listeners, because I feel like there's

777
00:41:21,600 --> 00:41:24,680
Speaker 4: usually the same things that are coming up in people's lives,

778
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:29,240
Speaker 4: so it's probably like relationships or you know somebody mommy

779
00:41:29,320 --> 00:41:32,520
Speaker 4: or daddy issues, or you know childhood trauma, something that's

780
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 4: coming up. So if you two could think of that,

781
00:41:34,360 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 4: maybe we can dive into that in like the next

782
00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 4: couple questions. But while you think about that, Leshanda, I

783
00:41:39,160 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 4: have a question for you about self care. How do

784
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 4: you prioritize self care? But also how what does self

785
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:46,280
Speaker 4: care look like for you? Because I know that self

786
00:41:46,320 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 4: care is tailor made, or it should be tailor made

787
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:52,080
Speaker 4: to the individual right and like what works for you,

788
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:54,239
Speaker 4: because one thing doesn't work for everyone. So what does

789
00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,000
Speaker 4: self care look like for you? And how do you

790
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:56,799
Speaker 4: prioritize that?

791
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:01,560
Speaker 2: Well, first of all, naps are life. Like I take naps,

792
00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:06,120
Speaker 2: I don't love. They help me so their own life.

793
00:42:06,719 --> 00:42:11,560
Speaker 2: But I self care for me is not vacations. It's

794
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 2: not self care seems to be this luxury, luxurious thing

795
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 2: that society thinks lately, and I don't view it in

796
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 2: that way. Self care are It's a small thing for me.

797
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:25,400
Speaker 2: It's like eating breakfast, it is working out, it is

798
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 2: following my schedule. And I try not to confuse that

799
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,080
Speaker 2: with self maintenance, which is getting my nails done or

800
00:42:31,120 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 2: things of that nature like that, that's a whole other

801
00:42:33,160 --> 00:42:35,200
Speaker 2: thing that's not self care because I don't like going

802
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 2: to the nail shop, so it don't feel it's not

803
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,799
Speaker 2: it don't feel good. So that's something that's like maintenance,

804
00:42:40,840 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 2: you know, it's not self care. For me, the biggest

805
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,799
Speaker 2: piece of self care that I've found, which people are

806
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: gonna be like, oh, that's different, is not disappointing myself.

807
00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 2: That's my biggest form of self care. When I am

808
00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 2: not disappointing myself and I'm speaking positive to lead to myself,

809
00:42:57,440 --> 00:42:58,960
Speaker 2: and I am doing the things that I said I

810
00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:02,440
Speaker 2: was going to do, I feel amazing. Like I don't

811
00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,080
Speaker 2: care what the hair looking like. I don't care what

812
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:05,680
Speaker 2: the nails looking like. I don't care if I hadn't

813
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 2: been anywhere. If I am doing what I said I

814
00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 2: was going to do for myself, if I am sticking

815
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 2: to my plan, if I am speaking kindly to myself,

816
00:43:13,560 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 2: I feel amazing. So to me, not disappointing myself is

817
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:19,840
Speaker 2: the best one of self care that I can get myself.

818
00:43:21,040 --> 00:43:23,799
Speaker 3: Thank you for sharing that. And I love that distinction

819
00:43:24,120 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 3: between self care and self maintenance and acknowledging that what

820
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,839
Speaker 3: is self care or maintenance for you. It's gonna look

821
00:43:35,880 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: different for each person. Because as you were talking about

822
00:43:38,719 --> 00:43:40,920
Speaker 3: the nail shop and you were saying it was maintenance,

823
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 3: I was like, huh, where does that fall from me?

824
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,880
Speaker 3: And I was I think, I think I look at

825
00:43:46,920 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 3: it as both, like I enjoy that time at the

826
00:43:50,640 --> 00:43:54,320
Speaker 3: nail shop because usually I allow myself that time to unplug,

827
00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:57,879
Speaker 3: and it's maintenance because I don't like my nails looking

828
00:43:57,920 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 3: jacked up. And so I was like, yeah, like self

829
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 3: care can really be different, will look different for each person.

830
00:44:07,840 --> 00:44:12,560
Speaker 3: But it's about what is that thing that is taking

831
00:44:12,640 --> 00:44:14,799
Speaker 3: care of you? What are the things that you have

832
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,719
Speaker 3: to do to take that take care of you but

833
00:44:16,800 --> 00:44:19,399
Speaker 3: make you feel good? Because if going to the nail

834
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 3: shop doesn't make you feel good, then that's not self care.

835
00:44:24,760 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 3: And I like how you pointed out breakfast like eating,

836
00:44:28,920 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 3: like take like the little basic What is what should

837
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:41,160
Speaker 3: be considered basic things are necessary in that self care too? Yes,

838
00:44:42,280 --> 00:44:45,239
Speaker 3: And so I think going back to Terry your initial

839
00:44:45,400 --> 00:44:48,359
Speaker 3: question around what are some of the themes that come up

840
00:44:48,360 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 3: in therapy? I know for me, like anxiety and depression

841
00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:56,479
Speaker 3: are things that are like everybody experiences that in some

842
00:44:56,640 --> 00:44:59,520
Speaker 3: form might not be to the point where the symptoms

843
00:44:59,600 --> 00:45:04,360
Speaker 3: are worthy of a diagnosis, But everybody experiences anxiety and

844
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:08,680
Speaker 3: depression at some point in life, and those are often

845
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:12,600
Speaker 3: common themes that come up in therapy. And so, but Shonda,

846
00:45:12,719 --> 00:45:17,200
Speaker 3: what would be a couple of, like, maybe two or

847
00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 3: three of your like top tips on navigating anxiety or depression.

848
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:29,200
Speaker 3: I'll let you choose which one.

849
00:45:30,760 --> 00:45:33,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm gonna stick with anxiety because I think it

850
00:45:33,320 --> 00:45:35,880
Speaker 2: is the most common. It really is the most common.

851
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:39,319
Speaker 2: Some of the top top tip that I can give

852
00:45:39,360 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 2: about managing anxiety. Worrying changes nothing, and I think when

853
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 2: people realize that, it can be so helpful because the

854
00:45:51,160 --> 00:45:54,440
Speaker 2: constant worry is leading to the anxiety. It builds up

855
00:45:54,480 --> 00:45:59,840
Speaker 2: to the anxiety. And I like to call worry pseudo action.

856
00:46:01,200 --> 00:46:05,000
Speaker 2: It's just your mind running in place. You ain't going nowhere,

857
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 2: like the gun, don't want off to go, and you

858
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,799
Speaker 2: still running in place, and you think you floating, but

859
00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:12,359
Speaker 2: you're not going anywhere. It's just thinking about something over

860
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:15,800
Speaker 2: and over and over and over. But nothing has changed,

861
00:46:16,160 --> 00:46:19,680
Speaker 2: nothing has happened, nothing has been done. So if you

862
00:46:19,719 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 2: can get off that worry wheel and go from worrying

863
00:46:23,440 --> 00:46:28,560
Speaker 2: to planning and then action that anxiety will start to drop.

864
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 2: It will absolutely start to drop. But one of the

865
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 2: mantras that I tell myself is that when I found

866
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:36,440
Speaker 2: that I've been okay, it's been thirty minutes. Girl, you

867
00:46:36,560 --> 00:46:39,560
Speaker 2: still worrying changes nothing. You've been thinking about this for

868
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:42,359
Speaker 2: thirty minutes and the situation is still the exact thing,

869
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 2: saying what do you need to do? I love to

870
00:46:45,560 --> 00:46:49,680
Speaker 2: tell people to ask yourself, who, what, where, when and how?

871
00:46:50,239 --> 00:46:52,200
Speaker 2: Who do I need to talk to? What do I

872
00:46:52,239 --> 00:46:55,120
Speaker 2: need to do? Where do I need to go? When

873
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:56,839
Speaker 2: do I need to do it? How do I get

874
00:46:56,840 --> 00:46:59,439
Speaker 2: it done? Ask yourself these questions to help you move

875
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:03,439
Speaker 2: forward the situation. Don't ask why. Don't ask us why

876
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:06,359
Speaker 2: is this happening to me? Why am I going through this?

877
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:09,520
Speaker 2: Why is life? Don't ask why? I say that with therapy,

878
00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:13,839
Speaker 2: don't ask why, because why would keep you stuck? Okay, Who, what, where? When?

879
00:47:13,840 --> 00:47:16,399
Speaker 2: And how? Will get you moving? So worry and change

880
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:19,400
Speaker 2: is nothing. Ask yourself those active questions to get you

881
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:21,839
Speaker 2: moving forward and out of that anxiety.

882
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 4: That is so powerful. Thank you so much for those

883
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 4: actionable tips that people can hold on to and use

884
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:30,160
Speaker 4: it in their daily life. One other question I wanted

885
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:32,319
Speaker 4: to ask you the shanda is what does it look

886
00:47:32,440 --> 00:47:35,680
Speaker 4: like to build resilience? Like how does one build resilience

887
00:47:35,840 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 4: and shine brighter?

888
00:47:38,440 --> 00:47:42,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, building resiliency resilience is a process. It is a

889
00:47:42,760 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 2: process that goes from like awareness to see where where

890
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 2: are my weaknesses? Like where do I need to build

891
00:47:49,040 --> 00:47:51,279
Speaker 2: myself up? It's okay if you just start building, but

892
00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 2: it's even better if you know, like what my weaknesses are,

893
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:56,879
Speaker 2: what are the things that kind of have from low

894
00:47:56,920 --> 00:47:59,239
Speaker 2: points in? What are the things that are kind of

895
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:02,400
Speaker 2: are follow and short end? So getting to know yourself,

896
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 2: getting to know your thoughts, getting to know what you're

897
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:08,880
Speaker 2: struggling with, and being honest with yourself about that. And

898
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 2: then once you say, okay, communication is is my issue?

899
00:48:12,400 --> 00:48:15,520
Speaker 2: Or relationships is my issue, or you know, anxiety is

900
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:18,480
Speaker 2: my thing, or boundary setting is my thing or because

901
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:22,480
Speaker 2: for a lot of people, issues in life are all

902
00:48:22,480 --> 00:48:25,800
Speaker 2: surrounding this one thing. I can't set boundaries with people,

903
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:27,960
Speaker 2: so that's why my family life is an issue or

904
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,520
Speaker 2: my relationships are an issue. It's like this one thing

905
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:32,680
Speaker 2: kind of just leaks into all this stuff. So once

906
00:48:32,719 --> 00:48:35,399
Speaker 2: you figure out the thing, like what is my thing.

907
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:39,160
Speaker 2: Worry is my thing, or boundary setting is my thing,

908
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:42,000
Speaker 2: or being afraid is my thing. Then you say, okay,

909
00:48:42,120 --> 00:48:45,200
Speaker 2: now what do I need to do about this? And

910
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 2: you work on the thoughts. You work on the thoughts,

911
00:48:48,840 --> 00:48:51,279
Speaker 2: and you do it over and over and over. And

912
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:55,640
Speaker 2: resiliency is absolutely in marathon. Like it is a marathon.

913
00:48:55,680 --> 00:48:57,400
Speaker 2: It's not something that you can't You can't get that

914
00:48:57,440 --> 00:49:00,680
Speaker 2: in successions like it doesn't work that way. It takes

915
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:03,640
Speaker 2: a lot of time of trying because the truth is

916
00:49:03,680 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 2: you didn't get that way in successions. You know, when

917
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,719
Speaker 2: somebody comes to me at forty and they're like, you know,

918
00:49:08,840 --> 00:49:10,480
Speaker 2: can we do this in two months, I'm like this,

919
00:49:10,480 --> 00:49:14,240
Speaker 2: this took forty years. This is forty years of work

920
00:49:14,520 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 2: we are trying to undo. So being patient with yourself

921
00:49:19,640 --> 00:49:22,440
Speaker 2: and just say the biggest thing about resiliency is that

922
00:49:22,480 --> 00:49:25,280
Speaker 2: you're gonna fall, You're gonna make mistakes, you're gonna stumble.

923
00:49:25,320 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 2: And a lot of times when that happens, people say,

924
00:49:27,120 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 2: you know what, I just can't. I just quit And

925
00:49:29,160 --> 00:49:32,680
Speaker 2: it's like, no, give yourself grace, give yourself mercy and

926
00:49:32,719 --> 00:49:35,960
Speaker 2: say okay, I'm gonna try again. I fell off yesterday,

927
00:49:36,080 --> 00:49:38,440
Speaker 2: Let me try again tomorrow, let me do that scary thing,

928
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,279
Speaker 2: let me have that conversation, and you just build and

929
00:49:41,360 --> 00:49:44,239
Speaker 2: build and build until now it's just muscle memory. It's

930
00:49:44,280 --> 00:49:48,399
Speaker 2: second nature now, but it takes time. Thank you for that,

931
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:53,160
Speaker 2: Thank you for pointing that out. And so.

932
00:49:55,520 --> 00:50:00,239
Speaker 3: One final question. I know that throughout this episode you

933
00:50:00,440 --> 00:50:05,000
Speaker 3: mentioned you shared so many gems and mantras was a

934
00:50:05,000 --> 00:50:11,480
Speaker 3: big thing, right, what's a mantra that you can leave

935
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:16,600
Speaker 3: with our listeners that they can take and find a

936
00:50:16,640 --> 00:50:19,160
Speaker 3: way to apply it to them, because we know, like

937
00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:24,040
Speaker 3: you mentioned, a mantra needs to be something that works

938
00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:28,920
Speaker 3: for you as an individual, like your specific situation. But

939
00:50:29,040 --> 00:50:34,920
Speaker 3: what's something that, like a starter mantra that folks can

940
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:35,440
Speaker 3: take away.

941
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:41,279
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think a really good start a mantra is

942
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:47,239
Speaker 2: you are capable. I am capable, And I like capable

943
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:51,080
Speaker 2: because it so it shows that her stuff is going

944
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 2: to come, Difficulties are going to come, but you can't

945
00:50:55,480 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 2: deal with it, you can't do it. And a lot

946
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,520
Speaker 2: of times the fear is is that the worst will happen.

947
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 2: Oh I don't want to what if the worst will happen?

948
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:05,680
Speaker 2: That's a lot of anxiety. What if the worst will happen,

949
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 2: and I'll ask people, Okay, what if it does. If

950
00:51:09,600 --> 00:51:13,080
Speaker 2: the worst happened, guess what you're gonna deal with. You

951
00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,600
Speaker 2: are capable of dealing with the worst case scenario. And

952
00:51:16,640 --> 00:51:19,120
Speaker 2: when you believe that in yourself that I am capable

953
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 2: to handle whatever may come. It may it may kind

954
00:51:21,719 --> 00:51:23,560
Speaker 2: of knock the wind out of me, but I'm still

955
00:51:23,560 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 2: capable enough to keep going, then you can do anything.

956
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,920
Speaker 2: You can overcome any anxiety, any depression, any anything that

957
00:51:29,960 --> 00:51:32,080
Speaker 2: comes your way when you believe that you are capable

958
00:51:32,200 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 2: enough to handle whatever comes your way. So I think

959
00:51:34,800 --> 00:51:37,880
Speaker 2: that's a good starter. Mantria is that you are capable.

960
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 4: That is a beautiful mantra, so powerful. Our thoughts are

961
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,520
Speaker 4: so powerful, like once we get those what's in between

962
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:49,680
Speaker 4: those ears in order, everything else can change. But Shandas

963
00:51:49,680 --> 00:51:51,839
Speaker 4: you are amazing. Thank you so much for the work

964
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:56,200
Speaker 4: that you do. This conversation was so incredible. I can't

965
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,160
Speaker 4: wait to listen back and take some of these gems

966
00:51:58,200 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 4: for myself. Lady, as you listen, please go support Lashonda

967
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:05,720
Speaker 4: Okay our very first black owned, independent, black owned business

968
00:52:05,719 --> 00:52:08,920
Speaker 4: sponsor for the podcast. This is a huge deal. Make

969
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:11,880
Speaker 4: sure you go to Mclaurinmontalwalllness dot com. We will have

970
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 4: links in the show notes so you can support Lashonda

971
00:52:14,920 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 4: follow her on social media. She also has an anxiety

972
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:20,560
Speaker 4: management group, so amazing. I never even heard of that.

973
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:23,279
Speaker 4: That's incredible, Leashonda, So again, thank you so much for

974
00:52:23,320 --> 00:52:25,560
Speaker 4: the work that you're doing for the community and just

975
00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 4: empowering women to thrive and shine brighter. We appreciate you,

976
00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:32,160
Speaker 4: We honor you, and this was such a good time.

977
00:52:32,520 --> 00:52:34,960
Speaker 2: Thank you, Thank you ladies for what you do, and

978
00:52:35,000 --> 00:52:37,040
Speaker 2: thank you for having me. I truly appreciate it.

979
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:39,480
Speaker 4: You are so welcome.

980
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:46,160
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

981
00:52:46,200 --> 00:52:52,120
Speaker 3: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

982
00:52:52,239 --> 00:52:55,239
Speaker 3: mental health, but it is by no means meant to

983
00:52:55,280 --> 00:52:59,200
Speaker 3: be a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a

984
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:03,120
Speaker 3: trained mental health provider. If you are someone you know

985
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 3: is in need of mental health care, please visit a

986
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:12,120
Speaker 3: Therapy for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your

987
00:53:12,160 --> 00:53:13,120
Speaker 3: insurance provider.

988
00:53:13,360 --> 00:53:15,120
Speaker 4: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

989
00:53:15,120 --> 00:53:19,560
Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at Herspace podcast dot

990
00:53:19,600 --> 00:53:22,200
Speaker 4: com and be sure to click the Patreon tab to

991
00:53:22,200 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 4: get access to video content bonuses in our weekly after

992
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:30,600
Speaker 4: show and before we meet again, Repeat after me, I

993
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 4: am worthy of a happy life.