1 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 1: Hi am Kate Hudson, and my name is Oliver Hudson. 2 00:00:08,480 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our. 3 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:19,440 Speaker 2: Relationship and what it's like to be siblings. We are 4 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:21,000 Speaker 2: a sibling raivalry. 5 00:00:21,720 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: No, no sibling val don't do that with your mouth. 6 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:32,840 Speaker 3: Revely. 7 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: That's good. Oh man, look at my line. 8 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:41,960 Speaker 3: I'm a lot like you. 9 00:00:44,840 --> 00:00:48,960 Speaker 2: Oh man, look at my life. I am my god 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:55,080 Speaker 2: like you. I sing that song because I just my 11 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 2: face just popped up on the zoom. It's ten o'clock 12 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,080 Speaker 2: in the morning. You know, the lighting's not great in 13 00:01:02,160 --> 00:01:05,120 Speaker 2: my son's room because this is where I'm doing my 14 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:10,880 Speaker 2: fucking podcast, because after five years of doing podcasting, I 15 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,640 Speaker 2: still am, you know, have no background. I've got no 16 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 2: production value, I've got no aesthetic. It's kind of just me. 17 00:01:18,800 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 2: Sometimes it's in my son's room. Sometimes it's in my 18 00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,720 Speaker 2: older son's room. Sometimes I do it in the kitchen. 19 00:01:25,319 --> 00:01:29,039 Speaker 2: I gotta get my shit together. Anyway, I popped up 20 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:33,360 Speaker 2: and man, you know, yeah, it's pushing fifty you know 21 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,440 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, forty eight? But you know, sometimes you 22 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:38,880 Speaker 2: pop up on the screen. You're just like, holy shit, 23 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:45,120 Speaker 2: there you are, old man. But that's okay. You know, 24 00:01:45,360 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 2: because I there are doctors to help with that, you 25 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 2: know what I'm saying. Little pup up up, a little 26 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,600 Speaker 2: scot scuck stuck a little too and then bang, you 27 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: know you look twenty five again or like Wayne Newton. 28 00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 2: Either one I'll take. But I'm still young in spirit, 29 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:10,320 Speaker 2: too young in spirit. I think my emotional intelligence has 30 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 2: to you know what I mean, sort of catch up 31 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:21,920 Speaker 2: because I think I'm twenty. I look sixty, you know 32 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 2: what i mean. Like it just doesn't work when you 33 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 2: drink like a twenty year old, when you stay up 34 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 2: like a twenty year old, when you party like a 35 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:31,840 Speaker 2: twenty year old, when you indulge like a twenty year old, 36 00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:34,160 Speaker 2: you don't bounce back the way that she used to, 37 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:43,520 Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. Anyway, here we are back again, 38 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:52,519 Speaker 2: and we have a very fun guest in the waiting room. 39 00:02:53,320 --> 00:02:56,440 Speaker 2: She is someone who we all grew up on. For 40 00:02:56,480 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 2: the most part, I certainly did back when TV you 41 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 2: know you had to sort of wait the next week. 42 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:08,440 Speaker 2: Nine O two and zero, you know, was the show 43 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:11,200 Speaker 2: to watch, absolutely no doubt about it. Everyone had their 44 00:03:11,240 --> 00:03:17,079 Speaker 2: favorite characters, everyone, every everyone had their people who they 45 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 2: were sort of into and now I am talking about 46 00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:28,520 Speaker 2: Jenny Garth. Jenny Garth reached icon status back in the day. 47 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 2: Excited to talk to her about numerous things, many many things, 48 00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 2: and let's, uh, let's bring her in. Well, look who 49 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:39,520 Speaker 2: it is. 50 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,720 Speaker 1: It's me, Hi, Hi, How are you? 51 00:03:44,280 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: I'm good? How are you? 52 00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,200 Speaker 1: I'm okay? 53 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:52,680 Speaker 2: You know what, that's the best fucking answer, because it's 54 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:56,520 Speaker 2: just the real answer. Everyone says that we live in pleasantries. 55 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 2: You know, how are you? I'm good? A lot of 56 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 2: the times they don't answer that. I want to answer, 57 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,560 Speaker 2: sort of honestly, unless I just want to get out 58 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:04,400 Speaker 2: of the conversation, you know what I mean. 59 00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 1: But like you just don't answer at all. 60 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:08,160 Speaker 2: Then you're just like, I'm good and then you move on. 61 00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:11,280 Speaker 2: But how are you? It's like, I'm okay. You know, 62 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,280 Speaker 2: there's certain parts of my life that are good, and 63 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:16,440 Speaker 2: then there's certain parts that that could be better. 64 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:19,599 Speaker 1: Or I just had a hard time waking up this morning, 65 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,520 Speaker 1: did you I did? I don't. I hadn't been sleeping 66 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: for the last couple of nights, so I took a 67 00:04:25,080 --> 00:04:30,480 Speaker 1: sleeping pill. Oh, every time I take a sleeping pill, 68 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: I remember why I don't take sleeping pills. 69 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:34,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, well, why were you having trouble sleeping? 70 00:04:35,520 --> 00:04:36,039 Speaker 1: Who knows? 71 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 2: Oh? Is it just my brain? I know, I know 72 00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:43,480 Speaker 2: I have that issue. I have that issue the minute. 73 00:04:44,360 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 2: It's hard because I'll wake up at like four in 74 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,960 Speaker 2: the morning and have to make a conscious effort. Now 75 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 2: when I'm making a conscious effort, obviously my brain is 76 00:04:51,520 --> 00:04:54,680 Speaker 2: now flipped on. But I'm still making a conscious effort 77 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 2: not to flip my brain on, because the minute it 78 00:04:57,640 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 2: turns on, boom, I'm done. 79 00:04:59,080 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 1: Oh it's hard. 80 00:05:00,480 --> 00:05:02,880 Speaker 2: No, I know, I know. I don't do the sleeping 81 00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:03,400 Speaker 2: pill thing. 82 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't recommend it. 83 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:10,360 Speaker 2: I did. I was flying to Milan once and I 84 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 2: was a young buck and I had taken an ambient 85 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 2: and I had never taken them before on the airplane 86 00:05:16,440 --> 00:05:19,960 Speaker 2: to Milan, and I had an experience that you hear 87 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 2: sometimes where you don't sleep and you completely lose your shit. 88 00:05:23,320 --> 00:05:24,960 Speaker 2: And that's what happened to me on the airplane. 89 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: Wait, how did you lose your shit? 90 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 2: Because I was in this sort of middle ground between 91 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: sleep and wait and awake, and I didn't know where 92 00:05:36,360 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 2: I was. I you know, I was just in this 93 00:05:38,920 --> 00:05:43,600 Speaker 2: sort of hallosining, hallucinating state. Could not fall asleep, but 94 00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 2: at the same time, my body was just I wanted 95 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:47,960 Speaker 2: my soul wanted to leave. My body wanted to get 96 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,640 Speaker 2: out of there. And it was horrible. 97 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:54,840 Speaker 1: That's brutal. Yeah. I usually saved them for over like 98 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 1: long flights, over the air flights, but yeah, something similar 99 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:01,560 Speaker 1: like that happened to me on an overnight flight. We 100 00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: my husband, he administers them to me. I don't know 101 00:06:04,800 --> 00:06:06,839 Speaker 1: if he gets in some sense of power. 102 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,960 Speaker 2: And like a little plastic cup like you're like, no, 103 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:11,720 Speaker 2: just out of. 104 00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: His dirty pocket. But he gave me one and we 105 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,480 Speaker 1: were sitting waiting to bord and and then they were like, oh, 106 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:23,719 Speaker 1: guess what. The flight is delayed an hour. And so 107 00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:25,880 Speaker 1: I had just digging the pill and he's like, oh 108 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: my god. 109 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:27,960 Speaker 2: So I was. 110 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 1: I don't even remember that flight at all. 111 00:06:30,400 --> 00:06:33,799 Speaker 2: Oh my god. I used to be deathly afraid of flying. 112 00:06:34,600 --> 00:06:37,040 Speaker 2: I don't know where it came from. There's a control thing, 113 00:06:37,080 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 2: but I used to I mean, it's like throw up 114 00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 2: before the flights. Like my wife, you know, I'd be like, look, 115 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 2: I'm not ignoring you. I just go super inward and 116 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 2: like focus and concentrate. So she dropped me off at 117 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,040 Speaker 2: the airport and I would even like say goodbye because 118 00:06:52,040 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 2: I'm so worried about like throwing up, and I was horrible. 119 00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:55,159 Speaker 1: Yeah. 120 00:06:55,200 --> 00:06:59,000 Speaker 2: So I used to take two Xanax and drink like 121 00:06:59,080 --> 00:07:04,719 Speaker 2: three beers same thing, and then I would be completely 122 00:07:04,839 --> 00:07:08,839 Speaker 2: loopy and crazy for about ten to fifteen minutes and 123 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:15,000 Speaker 2: then I'm out good times. Yeah you know, yeah exactly. 124 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,920 Speaker 2: And now I just now eat like a nighttime sort 125 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 2: of dummy, some weed and that that helps me out. 126 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:24,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, going to bed, well that's the things we have 127 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,280 Speaker 1: to do to get good sleep. 128 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 2: No, I know. Well, thanks for coming on. I appreciate this. 129 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:31,400 Speaker 1: I'm so happy to be here. 130 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:36,040 Speaker 2: No, I know. So let's talk about your childhood a 131 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,240 Speaker 2: little bit. Let's talk about your upbringing because you have 132 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 2: multiple siblings, Is this correct? Yes? 133 00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: I do. How many of you guys I've got. It's his, 134 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 1: hers and ours kind of situation. My parents were both 135 00:07:49,240 --> 00:07:52,240 Speaker 1: married before and then they got married and had me. 136 00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 1: So I'm the you know, the chosen one. Now you 137 00:07:59,240 --> 00:08:03,520 Speaker 1: believe that baby, and yeah, I'm the baby and everybody 138 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: reminds me of it all the time. But I have 139 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,720 Speaker 1: four half sisters and two half brothers. 140 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so four half brothers, two half sisters. 141 00:08:15,720 --> 00:08:18,040 Speaker 1: Four half sisters, four half sisters. 142 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 2: Two half brothers. Okay, so the sort of childhood circumstances, 143 00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:27,200 Speaker 2: you know, growing up in that kind of family, what 144 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:28,360 Speaker 2: was the spread? 145 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: Like they were all older than me, so much older 146 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:37,760 Speaker 1: than me, right that they were pretty much out of 147 00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: the house a lot. The brothers were gone, two of 148 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: my sisters were gone, one of my sisters was gone, 149 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:49,000 Speaker 1: and so it was just three sisters and me, and 150 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:56,240 Speaker 1: it was at My sister Cammie really was kind of 151 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: like my mom. She got me ready for school, took 152 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 1: me to school. My mom was working all the time, 153 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 1: so she was like my little nanny. And we're very 154 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:11,720 Speaker 1: close because that. And then my other two sisters were 155 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:16,240 Speaker 1: very much tomboys. They were outside doing stuff all the 156 00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:18,320 Speaker 1: time with the animals. I grew up on a farm 157 00:09:18,320 --> 00:09:21,160 Speaker 1: in Illinois, so okay, a very rural. 158 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:26,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, situation was did it feel like you had a 159 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: lot of siblings, you know, even though they were out 160 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,199 Speaker 2: of the house or was it like kind of disconnected 161 00:09:33,559 --> 00:09:36,679 Speaker 2: because of the hats and then just the gaps. 162 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 3: No, it wasn't. 163 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 1: It didn't feel like that. It felt like I had 164 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:42,400 Speaker 1: I was close. I had a bunch of sisters and 165 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: brothers that would come and we would always you know, 166 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:48,760 Speaker 1: do like barbecues and stuff, and our farm was where 167 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,839 Speaker 1: everybody came to sort of get back together. So I 168 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: always felt like I had a good like group of 169 00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:59,439 Speaker 1: brothers and sisters available all the time. 170 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 2: And it was a very free free living on the farm, 171 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 2: meaning free. Were there not a lot of rules. 172 00:10:09,480 --> 00:10:13,760 Speaker 1: No, I mean it was. I had a pink, huffy 173 00:10:13,960 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: dirt bike that I rode everywhere, and I just spend 174 00:10:17,720 --> 00:10:20,520 Speaker 1: my days, like right when I wasn't at school, I 175 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: would be just riding my bike around. It was like 176 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:25,280 Speaker 1: twenty five acres in the middle of nowhere. 177 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:25,840 Speaker 2: Wow. 178 00:10:26,240 --> 00:10:29,200 Speaker 1: And I would just play with animals all day and 179 00:10:29,360 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 1: make like dirt bike tracks and go down by the 180 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:37,640 Speaker 1: river and we our house, our property had a graveyard 181 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 1: on it. 182 00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:39,080 Speaker 2: Wow. 183 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:42,280 Speaker 1: It wasn't ours, but it was like, yeah, it had 184 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:44,640 Speaker 1: been built in there, and I would hang out in 185 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:47,120 Speaker 1: there and just like put flowers on all the graves 186 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:48,840 Speaker 1: all the day and talk to the dead people. 187 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:53,120 Speaker 2: Like, Wow, there's something very cinematic that I'm picturing in 188 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:53,600 Speaker 2: my brain. 189 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:57,040 Speaker 1: It was pretty ideal, like it was. It was pretty special. 190 00:10:57,480 --> 00:11:00,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, did you do you believe in goss. 191 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:02,960 Speaker 1: I believe in spirits. 192 00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:06,160 Speaker 2: You believe in spirits. Have you experienced I don't know. 193 00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:07,959 Speaker 1: Is there a difference between a ghost and a spirit? 194 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 2: No, I don't know what the hell a ghost or 195 00:11:09,679 --> 00:11:13,040 Speaker 2: spirit is. I mean I have had moments, you know 196 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:18,439 Speaker 2: where I feel like I have dealt with the supernatural. 197 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,040 Speaker 2: Have you had any of those experiences, especially living on 198 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:25,240 Speaker 2: a place where there might be where there's a cemetery. 199 00:11:26,559 --> 00:11:28,720 Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever had to deal with it. 200 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:34,080 Speaker 1: I just always have felt energies from starting out with 201 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: that from the people that were buried there, and I 202 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,240 Speaker 1: just feel like people that I love that have passed away, 203 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,760 Speaker 1: I feel their energies all the time. Yeah, there's never 204 00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,360 Speaker 1: been anything like bad. 205 00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I know. So we were in London or 206 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 2: outside of London. My mom, I was a young dude 207 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 2: and my sister was very young and mom was doing 208 00:11:56,559 --> 00:11:59,000 Speaker 2: a movie out there on which one, but we were 209 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:02,679 Speaker 2: staying at this old old manner. It was old, old, old, 210 00:12:02,679 --> 00:12:06,280 Speaker 2: It was really beautiful to this tutor house and it 211 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:10,679 Speaker 2: was one haunted. I mean I remember it unless my 212 00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 2: little brain is creating these, you know, scenarios that didn't 213 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,400 Speaker 2: really exist. So we don't know. But we did leave 214 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 2: the house after three weeks, and we were supposed to 215 00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 2: be there for like three months because whatever spirit was 216 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:29,640 Speaker 2: in this house did not like my sister. Yeah, so 217 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,200 Speaker 2: she would we were we slept in the same room. 218 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 2: She was lit a little and she would fall out 219 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 2: of bed every night, which she never did. That was 220 00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,240 Speaker 2: one thing. There was a place in the hallway where 221 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 2: there was nothing there on the upstairs and the upstairs 222 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:45,600 Speaker 2: that she would literally trip over every time that she passed. 223 00:12:45,760 --> 00:12:46,440 Speaker 1: Oh my god. 224 00:12:47,480 --> 00:12:51,480 Speaker 2: We would sit downstairs and we'd hear footsteps up the 225 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 2: gravel walkway and you know, open up the door and 226 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,360 Speaker 2: there was nobody there. We had the pots in the 227 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:00,960 Speaker 2: pants would just start shaking, you know. There was a 228 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,560 Speaker 2: lot of weird shit going on. 229 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, somebody did not want you in there. 230 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:10,120 Speaker 2: Yes. And then the final straw was this. My sister 231 00:13:10,240 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 2: had her little wellies on. It was kind of rainy 232 00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,760 Speaker 2: out and there was a pool. It was wintertime and 233 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:19,360 Speaker 2: it was all gated off, and the caretaker was a 234 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,720 Speaker 2: caretaker in the house and he was having his morning 235 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: tea and he sees my sister in the pool and 236 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 2: he goes to open up the gate you know, to 237 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:34,320 Speaker 2: get in, but it's dead bolt locked. Oh so we 238 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 2: still don't know how Kate and she does remember how 239 00:13:37,679 --> 00:13:40,400 Speaker 2: she got in the pool, but he jumped the fence 240 00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:43,920 Speaker 2: and got her out of the pool. Wow, that is yes. 241 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 2: So at that point I think Mom was like, all right, 242 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,160 Speaker 2: we're out of here. 243 00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:50,920 Speaker 1: Back it up, let's go. 244 00:13:52,920 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. 245 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,199 Speaker 1: Oh I'm so glad he saved her. 246 00:13:56,600 --> 00:14:01,560 Speaker 2: Yes, he saved her. He saved her. So then, growing 247 00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:05,439 Speaker 2: up in Illinois, at what point did you sort of 248 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:10,080 Speaker 2: want to be a creative or want to be an actor? 249 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,959 Speaker 2: You know? I mean it's I've been around it all 250 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,920 Speaker 2: my life. You know, you were around a lot different things. Yes, 251 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 2: you knows, unless you were doing plays with the you 252 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:22,240 Speaker 2: know the. 253 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 3: No, I never was. 254 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: I never knew that was an option. I never we 255 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 1: didn't go to the movies. We were It was very 256 00:14:30,760 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: rural and I didn't know you could be an actor. 257 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,120 Speaker 1: I didn't know I could be a performer. I know that. 258 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:40,880 Speaker 1: My mom says that I always used to dance in 259 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,960 Speaker 1: front of the sliding glass door, you know, reflection in it. 260 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: She said she would always catch me looking at myself 261 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:49,600 Speaker 1: in the mirror and dancing. But that's as close as 262 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 1: I ever got to like doing anything like that. But 263 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 1: I it was we moved to Arizona. My dad got 264 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: sick in Illinois and had a heart attack, several heart attacks, 265 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,120 Speaker 1: so the climate there was too tough for him, so 266 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,840 Speaker 1: we moved to Arizona where it was drier for him. 267 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:05,760 Speaker 2: How old were you? 268 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,640 Speaker 1: I was twelve, okay, And we left one sister. I 269 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:14,560 Speaker 1: left one my mommy and Nanny's sister left her in Illinois, 270 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,280 Speaker 1: and uh, I was. 271 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,560 Speaker 2: That was a hard yeah, because as a twelve year old, 272 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: you know, I have seventeen, fourteen and eleven right now, 273 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:25,160 Speaker 2: and they're so ingrained in their world and their friends 274 00:15:25,200 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 2: and where they live. To pull them out of that, 275 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 2: they would kill me, you know. Yeah. 276 00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:33,560 Speaker 1: I think leaving my sister was the hardest part of it. Yeah, sure, 277 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:39,200 Speaker 1: and that was very traumatic, I know, for both of us. 278 00:15:39,800 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 1: But we ended up in Arizona, and that is kind 279 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:46,560 Speaker 1: of where I started to turn into a teen, you know, 280 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:51,520 Speaker 1: and dressed like Madonna, and you know, I thought I 281 00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: was hot shit. I would wear hot high heels to 282 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,000 Speaker 1: middle school because I was. I came off this farm 283 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,520 Speaker 1: where nothing mattered, and I moved to Arizon Zona, in 284 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,760 Speaker 1: the heart of the city where everybody was different, and 285 00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,720 Speaker 1: I was just trying to figure out, like, Okay, how 286 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 1: do I stay afloat in this environment? 287 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:07,800 Speaker 2: Who am I? 288 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: What do I have to do to fit in here? 289 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,000 Speaker 1: And so I just sort of decided that was the 290 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: best way. I don't know why, but it wasn't until 291 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,320 Speaker 1: I was dancing. I was teaching little kids how to 292 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:24,800 Speaker 1: dance at the Corner Dance Studio. I would walk there 293 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:28,280 Speaker 1: from my mom's condo and teach kids how to dance, 294 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:33,120 Speaker 1: and somehow, yeah, tap tap dance was my Yeah, that 295 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: was my cham and I would somebody asked me to 296 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 1: be in like the scholarship pageant for dance. If you 297 00:16:38,840 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 1: want it, you got free classes or something I don't 298 00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 1: even know. And I went and I did that. I 299 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: didn't win, but at that pageant I was, I guess, 300 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: discovered by a talent manager. His name was Randy James, 301 00:16:57,360 --> 00:17:01,440 Speaker 1: and he had been cajoled into doing this, like being 302 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,800 Speaker 1: a judge at this pageant by one of his industry friends. 303 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:06,800 Speaker 1: He was doing a solid for somebody. 304 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:08,000 Speaker 2: And he came, he's still with Randy. 305 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,920 Speaker 1: I am still with Randy. Oh my god, Yeah, he's 306 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:12,880 Speaker 1: still my manager. 307 00:17:13,080 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 2: That's crazy because he was my wife's Aaron Aaron. Her 308 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,600 Speaker 2: name was Aaron Bartlett at the time, but like he 309 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:23,399 Speaker 2: he was my wife's manager. So I know, Randy, you 310 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,080 Speaker 2: know Randy. That's so funny. 311 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:27,680 Speaker 1: Yep, I'm still with them after all of these amazing 312 00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,120 Speaker 1: I just have I'm very loyal. I have a loyalty thing. 313 00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:32,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 314 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,520 Speaker 1: I don't fix something unless it's broken, yeah, and then 315 00:17:35,520 --> 00:17:37,439 Speaker 1: I try to fix it. But you know, he's just 316 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:41,439 Speaker 1: he's like my dad yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, and my 317 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 1: best friend. Sorry, he gets mad when I call him 318 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:43,480 Speaker 1: my dad. 319 00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:49,840 Speaker 2: I feel so he's he's so he basically discovered you 320 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:51,400 Speaker 2: one hundred percent. 321 00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,920 Speaker 1: I never would have thought, oh I'm going to move 322 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,360 Speaker 1: to LA and be an actress. 323 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 2: Wow. 324 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 1: Never. Never. 325 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,440 Speaker 2: And he was just like, all right, you have some things. 326 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,440 Speaker 2: Is this something you want to pursue? And You're like, 327 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,720 Speaker 2: all right, sure, I guess I'll try it. Yeah. 328 00:18:05,760 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: I think it was like you have a great look, 329 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,719 Speaker 1: you know, And I was like, Okay, this guy's creepy. 330 00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:12,639 Speaker 2: Yeah. 331 00:18:12,680 --> 00:18:14,480 Speaker 1: But his wife was with him, so that sort of 332 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:17,199 Speaker 1: legitimized it a little bit. And my mom was with me, 333 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,280 Speaker 1: so we sat down and talked to them, and then 334 00:18:19,680 --> 00:18:22,320 Speaker 1: he went back to LA and they he suggested that 335 00:18:22,359 --> 00:18:24,520 Speaker 1: I start taking acting lessons. So I would go to 336 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 1: this woman and take an acting class once a week, 337 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:29,320 Speaker 1: and that she would send him the VHS tapes in 338 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: the mail and then he would watch them and he 339 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,560 Speaker 1: would give me notes and things to work on, and 340 00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,040 Speaker 1: I would try to do that, and then I think 341 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,000 Speaker 1: the time just came where my mom was at like 342 00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:42,040 Speaker 1: a lull, and she said, let's go, let's try it. 343 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:43,560 Speaker 1: Let's go to LA and see what happens. 344 00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:54,320 Speaker 3: Wow, Like okay. 345 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,320 Speaker 2: And so you hadn't even auditioned really that No, No, 346 00:19:00,440 --> 00:19:02,439 Speaker 2: it's just you were just like you were doing local 347 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:06,440 Speaker 2: acting classes once a week. Yeah, once a week. This 348 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:08,439 Speaker 2: is so great because you always hear the story of 349 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,400 Speaker 2: the actor, which is like, you know, I just pursued 350 00:19:11,440 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 2: my dreams. It's what I want to use my blood, 351 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,800 Speaker 2: that's what I want to do local theater until my 352 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:20,520 Speaker 2: fingers bled, you know. But it's just like I'm okay, 353 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,439 Speaker 2: let's give it a shot. 354 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,399 Speaker 1: I've always been like very week, sort of go with 355 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:24,960 Speaker 1: the flow. 356 00:19:25,240 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 357 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:30,240 Speaker 1: Over the wind blowed blew me, yeah, and it blew 358 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:33,160 Speaker 1: me to LA and knocked on Randy's door one day 359 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:37,120 Speaker 1: and he was like, oh shit, okay, let's do this. 360 00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,480 Speaker 1: I guess you guys took me seriously, Okay. 361 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:39,880 Speaker 3: Let's do this. 362 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,119 Speaker 1: And I started going on auditions, you know, with my 363 00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,359 Speaker 1: little Thomas Guide. 364 00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,640 Speaker 2: And yeah, oh my god, remember the time. I have one, 365 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,320 Speaker 2: No you don't, Oliver. 366 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:55,159 Speaker 1: I found one in my mom's house and it's I 367 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 1: think it's from nineteen ninety seven and it has her name. 368 00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,400 Speaker 1: I wish I could show tea right into my office. 369 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: Has her name on it. So nobody stole it because 370 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:05,280 Speaker 1: they were you know, that was a train. 371 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 2: Yeah. 372 00:20:05,880 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, I find anything without that because that 373 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:09,280 Speaker 1: was it. 374 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,920 Speaker 2: That was it. I mean I used to going on didn't. 375 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:14,119 Speaker 2: I grew up in LA but still, I mean, you 376 00:20:14,160 --> 00:20:17,040 Speaker 2: go on auditions, like throw your Thomas Guide out. It's 377 00:20:17,080 --> 00:20:22,360 Speaker 2: fucking like searching for cross like cross streets. But it's 378 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,800 Speaker 2: funny because now we think that that's so crazy, because 379 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,880 Speaker 2: of course the world that we live in. But back 380 00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:27,919 Speaker 2: then it was just what it was. 381 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:30,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was you had to add on a little 382 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:30,760 Speaker 1: extra time. 383 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:35,400 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Imagine imagine these kids today, no, 384 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 2: no concept, Oh my gosh. Yeah, So you're just cruising 385 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,560 Speaker 2: around LA with your Thomas Guide hitting up auditions. How 386 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:46,960 Speaker 2: old were you I must have been sixteen fifteen. 387 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: I was fifteen for a while and then I started 388 00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 1: driving myself. 389 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:53,600 Speaker 2: I was okay. And then what was your first gig? 390 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 1: I might have this wrong, but I want to say 391 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 1: my first job was on Growing Paine. Yeah it was. 392 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,520 Speaker 1: It was a shoot, a night shoot, I remember, and 393 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:12,040 Speaker 1: I was driving by Kirk Cameron and his brother I 394 00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:16,600 Speaker 1: can't remember, uh in their car and my character was 395 00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,760 Speaker 1: I guess hitting on them. She says to them. I 396 00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: don't know what. She ends up saying, sticky, sticky, sticky. 397 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 1: That was my line. That's all I know. One word 398 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:30,080 Speaker 1: three times and I nailed it. And my manager Randy 399 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,360 Speaker 1: will tell the funny story. Because I am not one 400 00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:37,280 Speaker 1: for night shoots. I don't really love waiting for the 401 00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 1: camera to be ready, and yeah, like there's so much 402 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 1: I don't love about what I do in the industry. 403 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,800 Speaker 1: There are those glimmers, those moments of like being in 404 00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 1: that connected space in a character's body and feeling like 405 00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:53,679 Speaker 1: there's something about the camera and the relationship and the 406 00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:56,960 Speaker 1: there's something about it that I do really love. But 407 00:21:57,160 --> 00:22:00,000 Speaker 1: even on my very first job, I was complaining to him. 408 00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: I'm about like, oh it's so late, I'm cold. Where 409 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,280 Speaker 1: do I They don't have a chair for me. This 410 00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:05,400 Speaker 1: is my first job. 411 00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 2: You're born to succeed. Oh she's going to star, She's 412 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 2: a start. That's so funny. I'm you and I are 413 00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:19,639 Speaker 2: very very similar, you know. I acting for me was 414 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,800 Speaker 2: something that my whole family did, but it's not what 415 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:24,360 Speaker 2: I wanted to do. I wanted to create, make movies, 416 00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,639 Speaker 2: you know, produce direct right, Like that's what got me going. 417 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,760 Speaker 2: But I kind of was like, well, they all do it, 418 00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,200 Speaker 2: so I'll try it, and it worked out. You always 419 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,879 Speaker 2: want a gig because you're you know, you're striving for it. 420 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 2: The minute you get the gig, you're like, oh shit, 421 00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 2: I gotta go fucking to work. And then you're sitting around. 422 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:47,440 Speaker 2: I'm like you, I hate waiting around, Like I get 423 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:50,240 Speaker 2: so antsy, And it's the part of this job that 424 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:55,200 Speaker 2: I don't love. Yeah, and it's you have those moments. 425 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,280 Speaker 2: I say this all the time. Those moments have a 426 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:00,320 Speaker 2: great scene where like, Okay, that was really fun. You 427 00:23:00,359 --> 00:23:03,480 Speaker 2: get that rush only to watch it, you know, when 428 00:23:03,480 --> 00:23:05,680 Speaker 2: it's when it airs to be destroyed by editing where 429 00:23:05,680 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 2: you're like, oh shit, okay, well there you go. 430 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, then you're cringing. You're like, oh yeah, I 431 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:11,200 Speaker 1: should never watch myself again. 432 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,120 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 433 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:17,720 Speaker 1: Yeah. It's an interesting Uh, it's an interesting industry for sure. 434 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,719 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I know. And are you We'll get back. 435 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 2: I want to get back to your timeline for a second. 436 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,840 Speaker 2: But did you did you? Are you? Have you stopped? 437 00:23:25,840 --> 00:23:27,119 Speaker 2: Are you like overacting? 438 00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:34,880 Speaker 1: I I'm over being a pawn in someone else's chess game, 439 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:41,679 Speaker 1: you know. I never quite I produced projects, and I 440 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:44,600 Speaker 1: crossed over and did all the casting and did producing. 441 00:23:44,600 --> 00:23:49,720 Speaker 1: I produced TV movies. I produced Lifetime Hallmark and then 442 00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:54,960 Speaker 1: we produced BH nine O two one oh in twenty eighteen, 443 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,360 Speaker 1: which was a pretty huge deal. And I love all 444 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,880 Speaker 1: of that, like I love producing and that kind of stuff. 445 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: And then I just I was just tired of like 446 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:07,400 Speaker 1: auditioning in my garage. 447 00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:08,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 448 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,439 Speaker 1: I was tired of waiting for somebody to call me 449 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:12,959 Speaker 1: and tell me that I was the right fit for something. 450 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:15,919 Speaker 1: And I just decided to sort of take my life 451 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,120 Speaker 1: into my own hands and make some different choices. After 452 00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,560 Speaker 1: I turned fifty, I just kind of wanted to change. 453 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: But I don't think I will ever say I'm done acting. 454 00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:26,160 Speaker 1: I love it, and. 455 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:27,440 Speaker 2: But you don't need it. 456 00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,239 Speaker 1: Basically, I don't need it. 457 00:24:29,320 --> 00:24:34,879 Speaker 2: No. Yeah, do you feel like nine O two and 458 00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,199 Speaker 2: zero was sort of a double edged sword, meaning like 459 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,040 Speaker 2: it made you wildly popular and made you money and 460 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 2: all that stuff, but it sort of stuck you in 461 00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:44,760 Speaker 2: this place where you couldn't that you couldn't break out 462 00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 2: of for sure. All the same, You're like, I have 463 00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:51,600 Speaker 2: so much more to offer you, guys, like you know, and. 464 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,440 Speaker 1: I didn't even know what I had to offer because 465 00:24:53,480 --> 00:24:55,960 Speaker 1: I've never even really got the chance to figure that out. 466 00:24:56,080 --> 00:24:58,879 Speaker 1: It just all happened so quickly, and then I was 467 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,760 Speaker 1: in that boat, and you know I had to sink 468 00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:04,679 Speaker 1: or swim, So yeah, I swam. 469 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,800 Speaker 2: So did you hold her? You when you got that gig? 470 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 2: When was that sixteen sixteen? Shit? Man? 471 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:13,959 Speaker 1: Tell me about it? 472 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know. So that was just a 473 00:25:17,440 --> 00:25:19,639 Speaker 2: regular audition, right, I mean, it was just one of 474 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:23,080 Speaker 2: those casting calls that you moved up the line, you know, 475 00:25:23,680 --> 00:25:26,040 Speaker 2: pre read test. 476 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,520 Speaker 1: They pre read me, and then they didn't want to 477 00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,640 Speaker 1: have me back. They said I wasn't right. 478 00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 2: Oh really, because I wasn't. 479 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:35,919 Speaker 1: I was a farm girl from the Midwest and playing 480 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,600 Speaker 1: auditioning to be this Beverly Hills bitch. And yeah, my 481 00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:44,920 Speaker 1: manager Randy called his friend Tony, who was the casting 482 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:48,040 Speaker 1: guy for Spelling, and said, look, give her another chance. 483 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:50,359 Speaker 1: Get her in the room with Aaron, please please. So 484 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:53,080 Speaker 1: it was basically a favor to him and they got 485 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,199 Speaker 1: me back in and Aaron, Aaron Spelling, saw something that 486 00:25:56,240 --> 00:25:56,720 Speaker 1: he liked. 487 00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:02,280 Speaker 2: I guess, crazy, what were the nerves like for you? 488 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,240 Speaker 2: Like on first day? Holy shit, I'm a part of 489 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,320 Speaker 2: a show, but obviously had no idea how big it 490 00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 2: was going to be. But this is still a big deal. 491 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:12,640 Speaker 1: I didn't really know enough to have nerves. That's the thing. 492 00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:16,399 Speaker 1: I was just thrown into this completely foreign world and 493 00:26:16,560 --> 00:26:20,600 Speaker 1: environment and I was like, okay, well, I watched one 494 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:22,679 Speaker 1: of my I had a job before that where I 495 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:27,520 Speaker 1: played Barbara Eden's daughter, and I would just sit and 496 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,680 Speaker 1: watch her the whole time I was at work, watch 497 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:32,240 Speaker 1: her from the minute she stepped on to set in 498 00:26:32,280 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: the makeup trailer with the wardrobe people like. I was 499 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: studying her basically trying to figure out what it was 500 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:42,000 Speaker 1: that this was all about. And I learned so much 501 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:46,480 Speaker 1: from her because she's such a professional, and I just 502 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: threw myself in, like I didn't know if what I 503 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:51,119 Speaker 1: was doing was right or wrong, but I just jumped 504 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,679 Speaker 1: in with like this weird confidence that I don't know 505 00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:55,480 Speaker 1: where that came from. I think it was like fake 506 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,240 Speaker 1: it till you make it, and I just learned that way. 507 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:03,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's pretty great. That's pretty how I. 508 00:27:03,240 --> 00:27:05,479 Speaker 1: Do everything, Like I just jump in the deep end. 509 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,920 Speaker 2: I'm jealous because I have too much of I don't 510 00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,440 Speaker 2: want to look bad. I care what people think about 511 00:27:12,480 --> 00:27:15,119 Speaker 2: me if I fuck up my lines. This is especially 512 00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,200 Speaker 2: when I started. If I fuck up my lines, people 513 00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:20,440 Speaker 2: are gonna think I'm total dog shit. I'm holding up everyone. 514 00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,320 Speaker 2: I mean, this is what would go through my head, 515 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 2: which would just suffocate any sort of freedom. Yeah yeah, 516 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,760 Speaker 2: back in the day, you know. But it's amazing to 517 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:32,199 Speaker 2: have that, you know. I love that. I wish I 518 00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:35,159 Speaker 2: had more of that even now, you know where a 519 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,640 Speaker 2: lot of my family members have that. I don't give 520 00:27:37,680 --> 00:27:40,199 Speaker 2: a fuck. I don't care what you think about me. 521 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 2: I'm going to go just do this and you still 522 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,879 Speaker 2: don't have that. I mean, I do more. I'm forty 523 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 2: eight and I've been doing this for a million years now, 524 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 2: and I do I have more of that sort of 525 00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:55,640 Speaker 2: you know, I don't give a shit, but there's still something. 526 00:27:56,480 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 2: It's deep, you know, without getting into my whole psychology, 527 00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,480 Speaker 2: you know, with my dad leaving when I was a 528 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:07,879 Speaker 2: kid and abandon it, I mean that shit actually plays part, 529 00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:11,120 Speaker 2: you know, because if it's it's this, it's this sort 530 00:28:11,160 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 2: of irrational psychological fear that if you do something wrong, 531 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 2: they won't like you. You know what I'm saying. And 532 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:22,440 Speaker 2: even though cerebrally I know that that's just complete horseshit, 533 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 2: you know, there's there's that that that sort of little 534 00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 2: child the depth of you, the bubbling tar that will 535 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 2: just kind of always simmer. And believe me, I have 536 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 2: done a ton of work. I mean I've been in therapy, 537 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 2: I went to the Hoffmann Institute. I mean, I am 538 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:42,160 Speaker 2: constantly working on myself. So but I think I think 539 00:28:42,200 --> 00:28:46,040 Speaker 2: there's all You're always going to have residual, residual pain, 540 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,480 Speaker 2: residual traumas, even though if you're working through. 541 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: Absolutely Yeah, you know, I think I was more of 542 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,200 Speaker 1: the mind of like, if I do something right, they 543 00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:58,520 Speaker 1: like me. Oh, I'm going to keep doing something right. 544 00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:04,800 Speaker 1: So I set myself up for always pleasing people, you know, 545 00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,479 Speaker 1: doing what was expected of me and being a like 546 00:29:07,560 --> 00:29:11,640 Speaker 1: a professional and being a trooper. Like I didn't have 547 00:29:13,160 --> 00:29:15,520 Speaker 1: that in my mind of if I fuck up, they're 548 00:29:15,800 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: not going to like me. 549 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, your glasses have full you know. 550 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 2: I'm sort of classes. I mean it's varied through the years, 551 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,040 Speaker 2: of course, I mean there's no doubt, but just thinking. 552 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,480 Speaker 1: About that, like that ability to jump into a deepened 553 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 1: and be like, well I'll figure it out. Other people 554 00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:35,640 Speaker 1: are doing it. I can do this. 555 00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:41,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's great. And that's who you are generally pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. 556 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 1: And my parents always like taught me there's nothing you. 557 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:44,680 Speaker 2: Can't do, yea. 558 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: I believe them. Yeah, why wouldn't I believe them? No, 559 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 1: I know, like if the toilet's broken, try to fix 560 00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:52,560 Speaker 1: it exactly. 561 00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,880 Speaker 2: I know. Look very grateful for the way that I 562 00:29:57,920 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 2: grew up. There's also a part of me wish that 563 00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:02,840 Speaker 2: I grew up with Margret. You know what I'm saying. 564 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 2: My parents did an incredible job. There's no doubt about it, 565 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,880 Speaker 2: given the circumstances, and it's. 566 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 1: A different I grew up in a very different world 567 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: that you did. My kids are growing up in a 568 00:30:15,560 --> 00:30:19,160 Speaker 1: similar world that you grew up in to some degree, 569 00:30:19,360 --> 00:30:23,040 Speaker 1: and so everybody's got it different, you know, even from 570 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:26,080 Speaker 1: from me to my kids, Like every generation is going 571 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: to have it so different. 572 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:31,040 Speaker 2: I know. It's interesting because you grew up in a 573 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:35,240 Speaker 2: place that you can sort of inform them, you know, 574 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 2: on what real life is. My parents did the same thing. 575 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:42,360 Speaker 2: I mean, they came from nothing, so we were at 576 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,400 Speaker 2: a young age, you know, learned that this isn't necessarily 577 00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 2: the real world, you know, And I try to pass 578 00:30:50,640 --> 00:30:54,000 Speaker 2: that on to my kids as well. Even though I 579 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:58,640 Speaker 2: grew up, you know, very well off with you and 580 00:30:59,040 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 2: the kids, I mean, are you is that a really 581 00:31:02,600 --> 00:31:05,040 Speaker 2: sort of solid part of how you parent, meaning like, yeah, 582 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 2: people know who mom is. We have nice things, but 583 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:09,640 Speaker 2: you got to work for your shit. 584 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I listen, I had no idea what I was 585 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: doing when I became a mom. I I have a 586 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:22,240 Speaker 1: little more experience now, like I feel like with that too, 587 00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 1: I just jumped in and did my best, But who knows. 588 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,719 Speaker 1: I hope I did a good job. My girls are 589 00:31:28,760 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 1: all really nice people, and they're fun, and you know, 590 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,080 Speaker 1: they have that confidence that they are going to need 591 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:41,760 Speaker 1: in their lives. To make things work, but who knows. 592 00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:42,240 Speaker 1: I hope. 593 00:31:42,240 --> 00:31:43,640 Speaker 2: How old are your kids? 594 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, Okay, my youngest is eighteen. Okay, my 595 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:50,840 Speaker 1: middle one is twenty almost, she'll be twenty two this week, 596 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,520 Speaker 1: and my oldest is twenty seven. 597 00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,160 Speaker 2: That's crazy, it's insane. 598 00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,440 Speaker 1: We hang out and I'm like, this is so weird. 599 00:32:01,840 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: I'm your mom. 600 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:08,480 Speaker 2: That is crazy. So you're basically done. I mean meaning like, 601 00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,160 Speaker 2: eighteen is such it. 602 00:32:10,480 --> 00:32:12,480 Speaker 1: I'm almost free over. 603 00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:14,480 Speaker 2: Wow. 604 00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,560 Speaker 1: But that you're never free. I know, you're never I 605 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:19,360 Speaker 1: had to burst the bubble, but you're never free. 606 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:20,120 Speaker 2: You're never free. 607 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:23,240 Speaker 1: But that's okay. They always the girls always come home too, 608 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,720 Speaker 1: Like that's how it works. Girls always come back to 609 00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: the mom. And yeah, but they're like, my I'm still 610 00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,960 Speaker 1: raising them all the time. But I'm also still raising myself. 611 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:39,640 Speaker 2: So yeah, oh, I mean, my mom just turns seventy 612 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 2: nine and she's still trying to raise me. I'm like, Mama, 613 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 2: I gotta tell you. I think I'm good, but you know. 614 00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:51,320 Speaker 1: I'll never stop. Sorry to tell you never. 615 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:55,400 Speaker 2: No, I know it never does. Wow, that's crazy. And 616 00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 2: I always say this, you know, similar to what you said, 617 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,719 Speaker 2: which is like I don't no, I just did my best. 618 00:33:02,200 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 2: I think that, you know, it's not about if we 619 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:10,040 Speaker 2: fuck up the kids just to what degree, because we 620 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,240 Speaker 2: are all sort of trying to figure it out as 621 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:16,400 Speaker 2: we go. And the third one, at least in my case, 622 00:33:16,480 --> 00:33:20,280 Speaker 2: benefits from the first one because he's he was the experiment. 623 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:25,160 Speaker 2: You know, I would do it totally differently with my 624 00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 2: first one. If I had already gone through three and 625 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:29,520 Speaker 2: was able to do it again, well, I would have 626 00:33:29,520 --> 00:33:34,480 Speaker 2: done it. Well. We were We tried to sleep train 627 00:33:34,680 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 2: and you know early and you know, schedule, schedule, and 628 00:33:38,720 --> 00:33:42,360 Speaker 2: this and that, and you know, he was like crying 629 00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 2: and probably just fucking starving, and we're like, nope, you. 630 00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:48,920 Speaker 1: Know, it's not time for you to have your business. 631 00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 2: Blah yet and no titty for you, like you're you're 632 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:55,480 Speaker 2: six weeks old, fucking crying on, you know. I mean, 633 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,040 Speaker 2: I would have him in my bed more. There would 634 00:33:58,040 --> 00:34:00,520 Speaker 2: just be more f you know, more just sort of 635 00:34:00,720 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 2: just just big love all the time and who gives 636 00:34:04,520 --> 00:34:07,480 Speaker 2: a shit? Where with my third one, Rio, that's kind 637 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:10,080 Speaker 2: of what it was, mm hmm. And I can see 638 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:11,200 Speaker 2: it in their personality. 639 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 1: And my oldest has so much like resentment for the 640 00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 1: youngest because she had it's so easy, like I've been like, yeah, 641 00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 1: whatever you want, sure, stay out, just take in touch 642 00:34:24,040 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: with me. Like I'm just such a different mom now. 643 00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: I wish too that I but I was pretty like 644 00:34:29,560 --> 00:34:31,560 Speaker 1: goey flowy with the first one. 645 00:34:31,680 --> 00:34:31,919 Speaker 2: Yeah. 646 00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:33,719 Speaker 1: I was so young, I didn't know what I was 647 00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,880 Speaker 1: doing and yeah, and she was so cute, and I 648 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:38,200 Speaker 1: just had it with me everywhere I went. 649 00:34:38,640 --> 00:34:41,200 Speaker 2: No, I know, I know, and I wish. I wish 650 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,160 Speaker 2: I did that. You know, I wish I did that. 651 00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:45,200 Speaker 2: But you know they are who they are now because 652 00:34:45,239 --> 00:34:46,919 Speaker 2: of what we did. And that's it. 653 00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:51,480 Speaker 1: And you can't really waste your time thinking, oh, what 654 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:53,239 Speaker 1: what did I do wrong? Or how could I have 655 00:34:53,320 --> 00:34:55,000 Speaker 1: done it better? Or what are you going to be 656 00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:58,200 Speaker 1: in therapy because of me? Yes, you got to just 657 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 1: be like, look, I did my best. Yes, sorry if 658 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:02,400 Speaker 1: my best wasn't good enough. 659 00:35:02,440 --> 00:35:06,359 Speaker 2: Right, but I can't. It's best to just prepare them. 660 00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 2: I'm like, look, all you guys are going to be 661 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:09,200 Speaker 2: in therapy at some point, all right. 662 00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: I don't like him become a therapist. It's like the best, 663 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:14,440 Speaker 1: it's never that job is you're going to always have 664 00:35:14,520 --> 00:35:16,080 Speaker 1: job security if you're a psycho. 665 00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:20,520 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Yes, for sure. For sure. My kid 666 00:35:20,560 --> 00:35:23,719 Speaker 2: went my oldest went through because I went through gnarly anxiety. 667 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:26,880 Speaker 2: You know, it's part of my being, honestly since in 668 00:35:26,920 --> 00:35:29,279 Speaker 2: my twenties, and there's bouts of it that pop up 669 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,080 Speaker 2: and I'm on Lexapro and it's managed, but still it 670 00:35:32,120 --> 00:35:34,920 Speaker 2: can pop up, and there's a genetic component to it. 671 00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:36,680 Speaker 2: I think my son had that when he was in 672 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:40,840 Speaker 2: eighth grade, you know, and he went into therapy just 673 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,839 Speaker 2: for a minute, but he didn't like it, and I 674 00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:45,239 Speaker 2: understood it, and I kind of took him out of 675 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,680 Speaker 2: it and I just sort of worked with him for 676 00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:50,240 Speaker 2: about a month where we kept him month from school 677 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 2: because it was you know, he just felt like he 678 00:35:53,960 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 2: was not real. That's what he said. He's disassociation, you 679 00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,440 Speaker 2: know what I mean. But having gone through it myself, 680 00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,359 Speaker 2: I was able to sort of take him through that. 681 00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:05,799 Speaker 2: Not to say you won't be in therapy later in 682 00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:20,200 Speaker 2: his life, I'm sure he will be totally. So, you know, 683 00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,719 Speaker 2: fro Nino two and zero, when you're that young, going 684 00:36:22,719 --> 00:36:25,279 Speaker 2: on to a set with teenagers in that first year, 685 00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,719 Speaker 2: you know, second year, was it just was it a blast? 686 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:30,960 Speaker 2: Was it like a party. Was everyone having fun or 687 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:34,719 Speaker 2: was it super actory and professional or you know what 688 00:36:34,760 --> 00:36:37,240 Speaker 2: was that like when you get a bunch of teenagers 689 00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:40,640 Speaker 2: together to just party. I'm like, have the best time. 690 00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:44,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, we had no supervision basically other than like the ad, 691 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:51,080 Speaker 1: it was like the door. We luckily we were all 692 00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:55,920 Speaker 1: pretty good kids. You were, yeah, and we there was 693 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,720 Speaker 1: this like we're in this together, feeling like I always 694 00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,600 Speaker 1: we were trapped in a warehouse and van eyes together. 695 00:37:03,880 --> 00:37:06,239 Speaker 1: But it was you know, he made it. Aaron made 696 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:08,520 Speaker 1: it into a sound studio, so I guess that sounds better. 697 00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:15,640 Speaker 1: But it was like swim or drowned, you know, just 698 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,520 Speaker 1: go get in there. And we were all very cognizant 699 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:24,560 Speaker 1: of being professional. I think that that was really lucky 700 00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:28,400 Speaker 1: that we everybody else had kind of acted before. I 701 00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:30,200 Speaker 1: was pretty much the only one that had like one 702 00:37:30,280 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 1: or two jobs before. But I I like to be 703 00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,920 Speaker 1: a good girl, so I like to give people what 704 00:37:38,080 --> 00:37:39,840 Speaker 1: is expected and what you know, I like to do 705 00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:42,520 Speaker 1: my job. Yeah, and I think we all kind of 706 00:37:42,520 --> 00:37:46,560 Speaker 1: shared that same mentality of being professional, and you know, 707 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,240 Speaker 1: work is work, and then when we're off stage, it's 708 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,000 Speaker 1: like a mayhem. 709 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:54,040 Speaker 2: But were he goes Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, was 710 00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,919 Speaker 2: there hierarchies like you know what I mean, it's lord 711 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:58,920 Speaker 2: of the fly stuff. It's almost natural. 712 00:37:59,200 --> 00:38:01,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, you know the call sheet, there's no 713 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,799 Speaker 1: one or one or two, there's no three, no four. 714 00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:04,120 Speaker 2: You know. 715 00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:09,400 Speaker 1: I was three for the longest time, which I was 716 00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:11,600 Speaker 1: cool with. Finally I got to one. At some point 717 00:38:11,600 --> 00:38:14,920 Speaker 1: I got to one. The other people left and and 718 00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:16,640 Speaker 1: then I was number one, and I was like, hey, 719 00:38:16,680 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 1: this is cool. It didn't mean anything. 720 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 2: It just meant. 721 00:38:20,800 --> 00:38:23,320 Speaker 1: It just meant, like that's how it worked on the 722 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:25,080 Speaker 1: the way they wrote it, and I thought it meant 723 00:38:25,120 --> 00:38:27,759 Speaker 1: so much more than that. But I did get a 724 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:28,680 Speaker 1: better parking. 725 00:38:28,400 --> 00:38:32,600 Speaker 2: Spot, so that's nice. But those egos, did they flare up? 726 00:38:32,640 --> 00:38:35,360 Speaker 2: Did they kick up? You don't need specifics, but you know, 727 00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,960 Speaker 2: it keeps some secrets, but like, was it a get 728 00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,120 Speaker 2: fucking garly ever? 729 00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:45,240 Speaker 1: Sometimes? Yeah, sometimes there was a lot of uh tension 730 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:50,640 Speaker 1: around whose voice was more important, whose role was more important, 731 00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:55,520 Speaker 1: and you just really had to shut that out, and 732 00:38:55,600 --> 00:38:59,640 Speaker 1: because it it was that is not healthy, especially in 733 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 1: that kind kind of ensemble environment where we're all supposed 734 00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:05,200 Speaker 1: to be equals but they're definitely there was pay difference 735 00:39:05,719 --> 00:39:08,480 Speaker 1: you know, and as we got older, we really started 736 00:39:08,520 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 1: to realize that and the people that were getting paid 737 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 1: less than let's say one, two or three, it became 738 00:39:17,320 --> 00:39:22,040 Speaker 1: more of a more of an important issue for them. Yeah, 739 00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,799 Speaker 1: so that's yeah. Things things were weird at times. 740 00:39:25,480 --> 00:39:28,120 Speaker 2: For sure. Yeah, when you go that long, it's bound 741 00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:29,600 Speaker 2: to happen. You know. 742 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,160 Speaker 1: We worked it out. We're all we all made it, 743 00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:36,160 Speaker 1: you know, through relatively unscathed. 744 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:41,719 Speaker 2: But I know, I know, it's crazy. It's crazy. I mean, 745 00:39:41,760 --> 00:39:44,239 Speaker 2: it's crazy. So I knew Luke a little bit because 746 00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 2: he was he was videographer too, and he was he 747 00:39:46,640 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 2: was always coming to golf events with us, and we 748 00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,279 Speaker 2: hung out, we played golf together a little bit, you know. 749 00:39:52,320 --> 00:39:54,879 Speaker 2: And then Shannon actually was supposed to be on this 750 00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:00,360 Speaker 2: podcast like two weeks before she passed. Crazy. 751 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, that came fast. 752 00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:08,319 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I know, I know sot the last days, 753 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,040 Speaker 2: you know, the last moments of not A two and 754 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:15,040 Speaker 2: O at the end there, you know, not the new reboot. 755 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:20,280 Speaker 2: But once it was over, it was a relief or sadness, 756 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 2: I think both. 757 00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:26,280 Speaker 1: I think we were all ready we were all tired, 758 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,279 Speaker 1: those of us that were left on the show, we 759 00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:32,600 Speaker 1: were all tired, and that's a grinds. That's a fourteen 760 00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:36,000 Speaker 1: to sixteen hour day, five days a week grind where 761 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,480 Speaker 1: you have no You come out and you try to 762 00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,919 Speaker 1: make a life the best you can, but you don't 763 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 1: have a lot of energy, and you'll have a lot 764 00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,640 Speaker 1: of time to put into what really matters. So I 765 00:40:45,640 --> 00:40:47,520 Speaker 1: feel like a lot of us were left with, like 766 00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:50,879 Speaker 1: I know, for me, I was left with figuring out 767 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:53,880 Speaker 1: how all those pieces of my personal puzzle fit together 768 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:57,240 Speaker 1: and also realizing like, oh my god, I just lost 769 00:40:57,280 --> 00:41:01,880 Speaker 1: ten years of my development as a normal human being 770 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:05,720 Speaker 1: because that bubble that we lived in was not normal yep. 771 00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:11,200 Speaker 1: And so there was a there was a real catching 772 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:13,840 Speaker 1: up period for me personally interesting. 773 00:41:14,040 --> 00:41:17,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, an adjustment to the real world from sixteen to 774 00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,839 Speaker 2: twenty six. I mean those are pivotal pills, are yeah. 775 00:41:22,560 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: But I didn't go to college, I didn't live like 776 00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,440 Speaker 1: I lived on my own when I was seventeen. I 777 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:32,360 Speaker 1: bought my first house and had all the adult responsibilities 778 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,399 Speaker 1: with none of the adult training that go with it. 779 00:41:35,520 --> 00:41:38,719 Speaker 1: So I again thrown into that deepen and was just 780 00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,359 Speaker 1: swimming as hard as I could. But there was that 781 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:44,360 Speaker 1: period where I was like okay when my relationship started 782 00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: to fall apart, and you know, I just wasn't I 783 00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:53,400 Speaker 1: didn't know who I was. That I had to really say, like, okay, 784 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:56,800 Speaker 1: because of those ten years of development that I lost, 785 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,719 Speaker 1: here the places where I need to take a look 786 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:02,760 Speaker 1: at my real my life and take accountability and figure 787 00:42:02,760 --> 00:42:06,239 Speaker 1: out how to make up for that lost time. 788 00:42:06,400 --> 00:42:08,399 Speaker 2: Were you able to do that alone or were we 789 00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,600 Speaker 2: able to? Did you need did you go to therapy? 790 00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:12,480 Speaker 2: I mean, did you like do some soul searching? 791 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:16,480 Speaker 1: Yeah? Yeah, a lot of therapy, yeah, and a lot 792 00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:22,360 Speaker 1: of just wonderful people helping me figure it all out. 793 00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:26,239 Speaker 2: Did you have moments of like who am I? What 794 00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:29,279 Speaker 2: am I? What am I doing now? After all of. 795 00:42:29,239 --> 00:42:33,600 Speaker 1: This I've had, I've had those yesterday, like what yeah? 796 00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:34,520 Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you. 797 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:38,080 Speaker 1: Know I definitely had them more severely. 798 00:42:38,560 --> 00:42:40,319 Speaker 2: The fact that you said that, the fact that you 799 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,880 Speaker 2: said that you had it yesterday is almost comforting in 800 00:42:42,920 --> 00:42:46,680 Speaker 2: a sense, meaning like this is a lifelong sort of 801 00:42:46,960 --> 00:42:50,320 Speaker 2: quest to always sort of redefine or rediscover your identity. 802 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:52,719 Speaker 1: Absolutely, I don't. I don't think I could go on 803 00:42:52,920 --> 00:42:55,799 Speaker 1: without that like journey of figuring it out as I go, 804 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,120 Speaker 1: like figure out who I am in this situation, And 805 00:42:58,200 --> 00:43:00,799 Speaker 1: in this situation, I was talking to somebody not that 806 00:43:00,880 --> 00:43:02,480 Speaker 1: long ago, and I'm not going to say his name, 807 00:43:02,640 --> 00:43:08,000 Speaker 1: but something how, somehow, the imposter's syndrome came up, which 808 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,560 Speaker 1: I didn't know that much about, and I started talking 809 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:14,319 Speaker 1: about on my podcast and learning more about it, and 810 00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,600 Speaker 1: I asked him if he had ever had imposter syndrome 811 00:43:17,600 --> 00:43:20,920 Speaker 1: and he was like, no, what is that? I said, Okay, 812 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:23,040 Speaker 1: Well I explained it to him. He's like, no, yeah, 813 00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:27,200 Speaker 1: no I never felt like that. And I said, wow, okay. 814 00:43:26,960 --> 00:43:27,560 Speaker 2: Good for you. 815 00:43:27,880 --> 00:43:31,000 Speaker 1: I'm like lucky you. And I know Martha Stewart has 816 00:43:31,040 --> 00:43:34,040 Speaker 1: said the same thing, like, yeah, what does imposter syndrome? No, 817 00:43:34,160 --> 00:43:37,080 Speaker 1: I would never have that. But for me, I'm just 818 00:43:37,080 --> 00:43:39,839 Speaker 1: too reveal. I'm gonna tell it how it is. And 819 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:43,880 Speaker 1: I have definitely struggled with all the voices in my 820 00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:48,960 Speaker 1: head that hold you back and all the uncertainty, you know, 821 00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:54,319 Speaker 1: And there's just so many things that happen in our 822 00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:57,759 Speaker 1: lives that create whatever that voice is inside of us. 823 00:43:58,320 --> 00:44:01,719 Speaker 1: And I've I've had I have to battle that all 824 00:44:01,760 --> 00:44:02,120 Speaker 1: the time. 825 00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:08,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you talk about it on your podcast, isn't it. 826 00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:12,319 Speaker 2: I'm assuming it's you have great feedback when you're vulnerable 827 00:44:12,480 --> 00:44:16,000 Speaker 2: and speaking about the things you know that a lot 828 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:19,359 Speaker 2: of people go through where they would not normally hear 829 00:44:19,400 --> 00:44:20,719 Speaker 2: them from someone like you. 830 00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:24,480 Speaker 1: That's the thing, though, I am like them, like I'm 831 00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:27,319 Speaker 1: not someone like you like I, and they see like 832 00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:29,919 Speaker 1: I understand what you're saying, Like That's how it kind 833 00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:33,600 Speaker 1: of comes across. But I don't know how to be 834 00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:38,560 Speaker 1: any other way than to just be real and who 835 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:41,560 Speaker 1: I am. And the minute I step out of being 836 00:44:41,600 --> 00:44:46,640 Speaker 1: who I am, I completely lose my way. I get 837 00:44:46,680 --> 00:44:52,000 Speaker 1: caught up in like all the wrong things, and I. 838 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,799 Speaker 2: Always say all the wrong things, like what is that? 839 00:44:55,040 --> 00:44:55,759 Speaker 2: What does that mean? 840 00:44:55,840 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 1: Inside here? 841 00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:57,960 Speaker 2: Like inside your head right. 842 00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:01,200 Speaker 1: Listening to all the wrong messages, and the noise just 843 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:04,200 Speaker 1: gets so much louder inside my head when I'm not 844 00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:08,240 Speaker 1: being who I am at my core. And it's so 845 00:45:08,239 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: so easy to slip into trying to be something else, 846 00:45:11,160 --> 00:45:15,719 Speaker 1: especially in this industry and in this town and being 847 00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:19,560 Speaker 1: who I am, you know, like it's very hard to 848 00:45:19,640 --> 00:45:22,640 Speaker 1: stay authentic and true to yourself sometimes. 849 00:45:23,520 --> 00:45:28,480 Speaker 2: Right, I know, because sometimes you have to put something 850 00:45:28,680 --> 00:45:31,960 Speaker 2: on to get something or. 851 00:45:31,960 --> 00:45:37,319 Speaker 1: To appeal to certain people, like and you learn that 852 00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:41,120 Speaker 1: delicate dance of and then you just and then you 853 00:45:41,160 --> 00:45:42,799 Speaker 1: develop that like not giving a fuck. 854 00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:46,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, do you have a practice to bring you 855 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:50,080 Speaker 2: back to center? Meditation? 856 00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,799 Speaker 1: I love meditating. I don't know enough. I wish I 857 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:56,799 Speaker 1: was better at saying every morning at six, I. 858 00:45:57,000 --> 00:46:00,160 Speaker 2: It's so hard because how many things do you you 859 00:46:00,200 --> 00:46:02,640 Speaker 2: do a day that are an hour long? Whether it 860 00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 2: be working out, whether it be reading, whatever it is. 861 00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:07,279 Speaker 2: But you can't take ten minutes just to sit down 862 00:46:07,320 --> 00:46:08,239 Speaker 2: and be quiet. 863 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,160 Speaker 1: Because it's too hot, it's there's so many noises. 864 00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:15,200 Speaker 2: It's hard, I know, and we don't. We would rather 865 00:46:15,239 --> 00:46:17,960 Speaker 2: distract ourselves with something than sit down for ten minutes, 866 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:22,240 Speaker 2: because that is more tumultuous than actually running ten miles 867 00:46:22,600 --> 00:46:24,000 Speaker 2: uh huh or yeah. 868 00:46:23,840 --> 00:46:27,560 Speaker 1: Or like being the star of the show or being 869 00:46:27,600 --> 00:46:30,359 Speaker 1: the head of the brand or whatever your job is. 870 00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:33,879 Speaker 1: Like I'd rather do all those things than go too deep. 871 00:46:34,040 --> 00:46:36,719 Speaker 2: I know, I know it's so crazy, but you have to. 872 00:46:36,840 --> 00:46:40,879 Speaker 1: That's the thing. So yeah, I meditate sometimes, and I'm 873 00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:42,920 Speaker 1: always trying to be better about that because I know 874 00:46:43,000 --> 00:46:48,680 Speaker 1: how good I feel when I do it. And I breathe, 875 00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:52,719 Speaker 1: I do a box breathing. That's the one thing the 876 00:46:52,760 --> 00:46:56,160 Speaker 1: box and I'm like, I'm like, oh shit, things are 877 00:46:56,200 --> 00:46:59,960 Speaker 1: a little crazy up here. I just do the box breathing. 878 00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:05,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's four four four four right, I do like 879 00:47:05,800 --> 00:47:06,719 Speaker 2: four seconds like. 880 00:47:07,400 --> 00:47:09,160 Speaker 1: Two, I do four four and eight. 881 00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,520 Speaker 2: You do four four and eight, And that's like. 882 00:47:11,560 --> 00:47:15,560 Speaker 1: Takes me to a land of unknown, like it's just good, 883 00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,800 Speaker 1: puts the space in your brain like whoa yeah. 884 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,000 Speaker 2: For people who listen who don't know what that is, 885 00:47:21,040 --> 00:47:24,160 Speaker 2: it's like you take a deep breath in for four seconds, 886 00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,440 Speaker 2: you hold it for four seconds, you do eight, right, 887 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:28,840 Speaker 2: so you go, you hold. 888 00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:30,640 Speaker 1: It for four and then you hold it out for eight. 889 00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:35,279 Speaker 2: Let it out for eight, and then inhale for four. Huh, exhale, 890 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:37,600 Speaker 2: you hold it for four, exhale for eight. 891 00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:39,600 Speaker 1: It's that extra four on the X. 892 00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:40,319 Speaker 2: For me. 893 00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:44,439 Speaker 1: It takes you into that place of like it's so deep. 894 00:47:44,480 --> 00:47:46,839 Speaker 1: I don't know, yeah, so simple, but so deep. 895 00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:51,560 Speaker 2: I know. That's great. All right, talk about your podcast. 896 00:47:52,719 --> 00:47:55,000 Speaker 2: This is what we're here for. You're here for your health. 897 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:00,359 Speaker 2: I know you've been doing it for a while now. 898 00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:04,160 Speaker 1: Well, I've been doing a podcast called OMG where we 899 00:48:05,400 --> 00:48:07,800 Speaker 1: rewatch the show. We've been doing our six seasons sounds 900 00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:10,719 Speaker 1: got it. But I just started this year doing I 901 00:48:10,840 --> 00:48:14,440 Speaker 1: Choose Me the podcast, and it was really important to 902 00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:17,759 Speaker 1: me to take it into a different space, like a 903 00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:22,040 Speaker 1: more meaningful space for me personally than like culture or 904 00:48:22,960 --> 00:48:25,920 Speaker 1: you know, celebrity interviews. I wanted to talk about real 905 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:29,320 Speaker 1: stuff that matter to me and that could help people. 906 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:34,080 Speaker 1: So that has we've all been working together, you know, 907 00:48:34,239 --> 00:48:37,280 Speaker 1: that my producers and just getting it to that place 908 00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:40,000 Speaker 1: where I feel really good about it now. And you know, 909 00:48:40,080 --> 00:48:42,839 Speaker 1: we talk about the things that challenge us all, and 910 00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:47,080 Speaker 1: we talk about choices and choices that we've made in 911 00:48:47,080 --> 00:48:50,719 Speaker 1: our lives, and we talk about the art of choosing ourselves, 912 00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:55,720 Speaker 1: you know, and really learning that art, because that's a skill. 913 00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 1: You know, it's so so so easy, kind of like 914 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,080 Speaker 1: what you were saying about not meditator. Think it's so 915 00:49:01,080 --> 00:49:04,320 Speaker 1: so easy to just put everybody else's needs before yours 916 00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:06,520 Speaker 1: and take care of everything else and just do dooo 917 00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 1: doo all the time. But it's really important to come 918 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:13,600 Speaker 1: back to yourself and ask yourself questions and get to 919 00:49:13,640 --> 00:49:16,239 Speaker 1: know yourself on a deeper level so you can just 920 00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:18,480 Speaker 1: show up differently for everybody. 921 00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:24,600 Speaker 2: Yes, do you have guests pertaining to the topics. 922 00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:28,799 Speaker 1: So right, Yeah, sometimes we have great guests I I 923 00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:35,080 Speaker 1: love too. I love having guests on who you wouldn't 924 00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:37,480 Speaker 1: think have problems, sort of like what you were saying before, 925 00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:40,480 Speaker 1: Like having Julie Bowen on and we talk about how 926 00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:43,960 Speaker 1: she struggles with the voices and the negativity. And I 927 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,920 Speaker 1: love putting that message out there for people that are 928 00:49:46,960 --> 00:49:49,040 Speaker 1: listening to it on their morning walk or their drive 929 00:49:49,080 --> 00:49:51,160 Speaker 1: to work or whatever while they're washing the dishes, like 930 00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:54,880 Speaker 1: we're all the same. And I love just reinforcing that 931 00:49:54,920 --> 00:49:58,160 Speaker 1: through the podcast. And I also love teaching people things 932 00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:00,439 Speaker 1: that I've learned that help me cope with my life 933 00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:04,359 Speaker 1: and learning from people that are just doing the same thing. 934 00:50:04,520 --> 00:50:07,400 Speaker 1: So I love sharing and teaching. 935 00:50:07,480 --> 00:50:10,280 Speaker 2: So I love it too. And I love talking. 936 00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:24,040 Speaker 1: I'm not a talker, That's the thing. Are you an 937 00:50:24,040 --> 00:50:26,160 Speaker 1: extrovert or an introvert? Oh? 938 00:50:26,239 --> 00:50:29,359 Speaker 2: Man, I've been asked this question. I think I'm so 939 00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,040 Speaker 2: all of it. You know, when I am put in 940 00:50:33,120 --> 00:50:35,759 Speaker 2: a social setting, I'm ready to roll. I can be 941 00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,960 Speaker 2: the life of the party, and I take energy from 942 00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:43,480 Speaker 2: those moments, you know what I mean. At the same time, 943 00:50:43,680 --> 00:50:45,320 Speaker 2: I don't want to go to the party. 944 00:50:46,239 --> 00:50:47,560 Speaker 1: You know, you're both, I get it. 945 00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:50,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. If it's like, oh, you got to go, it's like, 946 00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,160 Speaker 2: all right, I'm going to go, and I am life 947 00:50:53,200 --> 00:50:55,719 Speaker 2: of the party. And by the way, last to leave. Yeah, 948 00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:58,239 Speaker 2: it's go to last to leave, right, But I don't 949 00:50:58,239 --> 00:50:59,480 Speaker 2: want to go. I don't want to go in the 950 00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:00,000 Speaker 2: first place. 951 00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:00,440 Speaker 3: You know. 952 00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:02,040 Speaker 1: That's so funny. 953 00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:07,279 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know. And then it's just the again for me, 954 00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:12,360 Speaker 2: it's just I don't know I as far as identity goes, like, 955 00:51:12,360 --> 00:51:14,719 Speaker 2: I don't really know the fuck I am. I'm like, well, 956 00:51:14,800 --> 00:51:17,000 Speaker 2: what makes me happy? You know? Fishing? I love to fish. 957 00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:19,799 Speaker 2: I have a boat nature, yes, okay, but like who 958 00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:22,960 Speaker 2: am I? What am I doing? I'm almost fifty, you know. 959 00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:26,080 Speaker 2: I go through the I have existential crises like maybe 960 00:51:26,080 --> 00:51:28,440 Speaker 2: six eight times a day, you know, just trying to 961 00:51:28,480 --> 00:51:31,399 Speaker 2: figure out what who am I? Do? I have ADHD 962 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:34,040 Speaker 2: of course I do. Wait a minute, do I. 963 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,640 Speaker 1: What does it all really matter? 964 00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,640 Speaker 2: It doesn't that's the. 965 00:51:38,360 --> 00:51:40,719 Speaker 1: End of the day. Who the fuck cares who you 966 00:51:40,760 --> 00:51:44,560 Speaker 1: are as long as you're doing and living your life 967 00:51:45,680 --> 00:51:47,560 Speaker 1: in a way that feels good to you and to 968 00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:48,480 Speaker 1: the people that you love. 969 00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:54,239 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly exactly one, you know, And I put a 970 00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:57,120 Speaker 2: lot of pressure on myself to sort of provide to, 971 00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:01,480 Speaker 2: you know, match the standards of my family, which is 972 00:52:01,520 --> 00:52:03,520 Speaker 2: not put upon by them in any way. That's my 973 00:52:03,600 --> 00:52:07,640 Speaker 2: own bullshit. Where Kate's a star, my little brother now 974 00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:10,200 Speaker 2: is a fucking star, my parents are stars and like 975 00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:14,160 Speaker 2: and people would kill for my career. At the same points, 976 00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:16,760 Speaker 2: in the same point, I'm like, well, I'm the black Sheep, 977 00:52:17,239 --> 00:52:20,080 Speaker 2: and it's such a fucking ridiculous thing to think. 978 00:52:20,280 --> 00:52:21,720 Speaker 1: What if there is no black sheep? 979 00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 2: Though, no, I know, it's it's all bullshit. It's what 980 00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:27,120 Speaker 2: you put upon yourself. You know. 981 00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:28,080 Speaker 1: Why do we do that? 982 00:52:29,600 --> 00:52:34,279 Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't I wouldn't be me without it. 983 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,920 Speaker 2: But at the same time, when I have those moments 984 00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,320 Speaker 2: like we talked about as an actor where that scene 985 00:52:40,400 --> 00:52:43,560 Speaker 2: just comes together and it's incredible, I have those life 986 00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,680 Speaker 2: moments where I am like I am on top of 987 00:52:46,719 --> 00:52:50,160 Speaker 2: the world right now. I don't know why, I'm buzzing. 988 00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,759 Speaker 2: I feel like I can do anything, and I'm like, 989 00:52:52,760 --> 00:52:54,560 Speaker 2: I want to live in that space all the time. 990 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:55,720 Speaker 2: I can't. 991 00:52:56,080 --> 00:53:00,680 Speaker 1: Have you ever told yourself that you love have you 992 00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,239 Speaker 1: ever said have you ever like looked in the mirror 993 00:53:02,239 --> 00:53:04,080 Speaker 1: and said, I love you. 994 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:08,480 Speaker 2: No, no, I should, but but I woke up today 995 00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:12,560 Speaker 2: so stupid. No, no, no, no, self love, self worth. 996 00:53:12,600 --> 00:53:14,960 Speaker 2: I mean again, I told you mon to the Hoffmann Institute, 997 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,879 Speaker 2: like that is what it is about. It's about self love, 998 00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,640 Speaker 2: self worth, which I have been lacking all of my life, 999 00:53:24,120 --> 00:53:26,160 Speaker 2: you know. So to look at myself in the mirror 1000 00:53:26,160 --> 00:53:29,719 Speaker 2: and to actually feel that and say it honestly, I'd 1001 00:53:29,719 --> 00:53:34,080 Speaker 2: probably use humor to deflect those true emotions, you know, 1002 00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:36,440 Speaker 2: but I do wake up. I'm like, it's gonna be 1003 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:38,319 Speaker 2: a great fucking day today, you know what I mean. 1004 00:53:38,360 --> 00:53:40,960 Speaker 2: I try to create that energy, do you know. 1005 00:53:40,960 --> 00:53:45,120 Speaker 1: Doctor Amen, No, you don't know, doctor Daniel Am. That's 1006 00:53:45,120 --> 00:53:47,360 Speaker 1: all of his things is wake up and say today 1007 00:53:47,520 --> 00:53:50,120 Speaker 1: is going to be a great day. Really yeah, I 1008 00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:52,240 Speaker 1: try it and I doing it. 1009 00:53:52,360 --> 00:53:54,200 Speaker 2: No, I know. I just set up and better minds 1010 00:53:54,280 --> 00:53:56,040 Speaker 2: me be a great day, you know. And I don't 1011 00:53:56,080 --> 00:53:58,279 Speaker 2: do it earnestly, you know what I'm saying. I do 1012 00:53:58,400 --> 00:54:00,319 Speaker 2: it with a little fervor, with a little a great 1013 00:54:00,360 --> 00:54:03,879 Speaker 2: fucking day to day, A great day. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, 1014 00:54:04,160 --> 00:54:04,640 Speaker 2: that's okay. 1015 00:54:04,760 --> 00:54:06,120 Speaker 3: However, however you have to do it. 1016 00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:08,080 Speaker 1: But that whole like looking in the mirror and saying 1017 00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:11,960 Speaker 1: I love you. Thing as stupid as it sounds, when 1018 00:54:12,080 --> 00:54:15,440 Speaker 1: you can connect with the person in the mirror mm 1019 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:20,640 Speaker 1: hmm that's yeah, and love that person no matter what. Yeah, 1020 00:54:21,760 --> 00:54:24,160 Speaker 1: that's where you find a good amount of peace. 1021 00:54:24,440 --> 00:54:29,040 Speaker 2: That is so crucial. It's very simple statement to love 1022 00:54:29,160 --> 00:54:33,640 Speaker 2: that person no matter what, because they're really emotional. But 1023 00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:37,719 Speaker 2: you have to have compassion for yourself, you know what 1024 00:54:37,800 --> 00:54:41,279 Speaker 2: I mean. We we are compassionate and have empathy for 1025 00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:47,040 Speaker 2: other people. I do, but we sometimes don't forgive ourselves 1026 00:54:47,280 --> 00:54:50,759 Speaker 2: and have compassion for the darkness in us. You know, 1027 00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:52,360 Speaker 2: we do. 1028 00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:55,680 Speaker 1: You go back to that little boy inside of you 1029 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,680 Speaker 1: and I if I am struggling, I have to think 1030 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:01,400 Speaker 1: back to like that little girl inside of me that 1031 00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:06,800 Speaker 1: at some point things changed and she got scared for 1032 00:55:06,920 --> 00:55:09,480 Speaker 1: whatever reason, or was told she wasn't good enough, or 1033 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:12,840 Speaker 1: people didn't like her, whatever it is. If you go 1034 00:55:12,960 --> 00:55:15,520 Speaker 1: back and you nurture that little because you have kids, 1035 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:18,239 Speaker 1: you know what it's like to love somebody unconditionally, and 1036 00:55:18,320 --> 00:55:20,399 Speaker 1: you know what it's like to nurture somebody when they're 1037 00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:22,479 Speaker 1: they're lowest. Like you said, with your son, you worked 1038 00:55:22,520 --> 00:55:25,520 Speaker 1: with them. If you can think of like you as 1039 00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,080 Speaker 1: that little a person inside of you. Then you can 1040 00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:28,759 Speaker 1: connect with that. 1041 00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:31,040 Speaker 2: Yes, oh I've done that. 1042 00:55:31,080 --> 00:55:31,759 Speaker 1: That's really good. 1043 00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,120 Speaker 2: I've done that, especially when you can go into sort 1044 00:55:34,160 --> 00:55:38,120 Speaker 2: of almost a self guided meditation where you can take 1045 00:55:38,200 --> 00:55:41,440 Speaker 2: yourself back to a time that you remember when you 1046 00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:46,080 Speaker 2: are of that age where that sort of unconscious fear 1047 00:55:46,200 --> 00:55:49,680 Speaker 2: is just being you know, just injected into you because 1048 00:55:49,719 --> 00:55:54,360 Speaker 2: of your childhood circumstances, and then you know able to 1049 00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:58,000 Speaker 2: sort of put a evolved adult spin on it in 1050 00:55:58,040 --> 00:56:00,600 Speaker 2: a way. Actually I did at Arape. I was like, 1051 00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:04,480 Speaker 2: please don't make me fucking do this. You know, my 1052 00:56:04,560 --> 00:56:06,560 Speaker 2: favorite name was Jan at the time. I've drunk guy now. 1053 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:08,200 Speaker 2: But he's like, now we got to do it. I'm like, 1054 00:56:08,200 --> 00:56:09,560 Speaker 2: I don't want to do it. We was like this 1055 00:56:10,080 --> 00:56:14,360 Speaker 2: me talking to my younger self. Oh it was awful. 1056 00:56:14,600 --> 00:56:17,080 Speaker 2: It was awful. And I had to sit there was 1057 00:56:17,239 --> 00:56:18,960 Speaker 2: he had a caddy corn, he had a couch that 1058 00:56:19,040 --> 00:56:23,040 Speaker 2: sort of eld and I had to move back and forth. 1059 00:56:23,280 --> 00:56:24,359 Speaker 1: Okay, role playing. 1060 00:56:24,400 --> 00:56:27,200 Speaker 2: I role played with myself and I was like, please 1061 00:56:27,239 --> 00:56:29,000 Speaker 2: don't make me do this, Like I can't, Like, I 1062 00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:30,719 Speaker 2: feel like an idiot. Even those me and you in 1063 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:33,239 Speaker 2: the room with no camera. I'm like, I just feel 1064 00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,520 Speaker 2: like a fucking fool where I had to sit there 1065 00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:37,880 Speaker 2: and being like hi, and then I had to go 1066 00:56:38,960 --> 00:56:41,239 Speaker 2: as an adult and speak to my younger self and 1067 00:56:41,320 --> 00:56:42,520 Speaker 2: tell him it's going to be okay. 1068 00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:43,319 Speaker 1: Yeah I can't. 1069 00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:46,840 Speaker 2: I don't see all good, like dad, I'm so scared. 1070 00:56:46,920 --> 00:56:49,359 Speaker 2: Then I switched chairs. I'm like, you're gonna be okay. Oliver. 1071 00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,040 Speaker 2: I'm like, oh shit, this is. 1072 00:56:52,680 --> 00:56:54,640 Speaker 1: I love it that you actually acted it out with 1073 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:55,400 Speaker 1: like movement. 1074 00:56:55,760 --> 00:56:59,919 Speaker 2: No, I did, and I will say that it didn't work. 1075 00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,680 Speaker 2: This is not something you should try at home. That's 1076 00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:03,479 Speaker 2: not gonna work. 1077 00:57:04,040 --> 00:57:06,640 Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, then just do this just next time you 1078 00:57:06,960 --> 00:57:11,160 Speaker 1: catch your reflection in anything of your spoon, whatever it is. 1079 00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, hey, I love you. Yeah, no, I do. 1080 00:57:15,040 --> 00:57:17,000 Speaker 2: I'm gonna try it. Try it. I'm gonna try how 1081 00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,160 Speaker 2: it works instead of passing amer and being like Jesus, dude, 1082 00:57:20,200 --> 00:57:24,480 Speaker 2: you're old. What's happening to you? Look at you? Oh god, 1083 00:57:25,120 --> 00:57:32,320 Speaker 2: I need to buy a brawl. Oh gosh, I know. 1084 00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:35,520 Speaker 2: Well this was fun, this is this is a good conversation. 1085 00:57:35,600 --> 00:57:37,760 Speaker 2: I appreciate it, no problem. 1086 00:57:37,920 --> 00:57:38,800 Speaker 1: I love a good talk. 1087 00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:42,360 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, I'm gonna check out your I'm gonna check 1088 00:57:42,360 --> 00:57:44,400 Speaker 2: out your your show. That sounds great. I love that. 1089 00:57:44,840 --> 00:57:46,360 Speaker 1: Come on it, well you talk some more. 1090 00:57:46,720 --> 00:57:48,320 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, hey, by the way, you know, if you 1091 00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:51,560 Speaker 2: want me on, I'm down. I love talking about this stuff, 1092 00:57:51,600 --> 00:57:54,600 Speaker 2: and I'm very open and you know, sort of afraid 1093 00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:56,960 Speaker 2: to talk about the things that go on in my 1094 00:57:58,080 --> 00:58:02,080 Speaker 2: crazy life pretty unfiltered. I love that that's the talk 1095 00:58:02,160 --> 00:58:02,800 Speaker 2: about you know. 1096 00:58:03,600 --> 00:58:06,840 Speaker 1: I just had Samuel t Herring on recently. He's the 1097 00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:11,360 Speaker 1: leading man from Future Islands, the band, and he's just 1098 00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:14,840 Speaker 1: this crazy performer and he's so deep, like his lyrics 1099 00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:17,600 Speaker 1: are so like whoa, what are you talking about? It's 1100 00:58:17,720 --> 00:58:20,160 Speaker 1: just so interesting to get inside of his head. And 1101 00:58:21,360 --> 00:58:23,120 Speaker 1: that's one of the things I love about it the most, 1102 00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:26,680 Speaker 1: how other people cope and deal yes, yes. 1103 00:58:27,280 --> 00:58:31,720 Speaker 2: And then the byproduct of sort of all of this 1104 00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:36,680 Speaker 2: is you're actually helping people without even knowing it, you know. Yeah, 1105 00:58:37,400 --> 00:58:40,040 Speaker 2: because we we all I think we all know that 1106 00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:42,800 Speaker 2: we're not alone, but sometimes you just feel alone until 1107 00:58:42,840 --> 00:58:47,320 Speaker 2: you hear someone else, you know, just connect with exactly 1108 00:58:47,520 --> 00:58:51,440 Speaker 2: what you're feeling, and then you're like, yeah, yeah, no, 1109 00:58:51,560 --> 00:58:52,040 Speaker 2: it's weird. 1110 00:58:52,720 --> 00:58:54,320 Speaker 1: Well, I'm so glad that you're into that. 1111 00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:58,880 Speaker 2: So talk to me about the women's event on January eleventh. 1112 00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:05,200 Speaker 1: Oh you're so, yes, Yes, this is exciting because this 1113 00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:08,200 Speaker 1: is all part of my development. This is all part 1114 00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:12,400 Speaker 1: of me figuring out that I'm I can do this, 1115 00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:16,120 Speaker 1: you know. And it's in doing things like this where 1116 00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:19,720 Speaker 1: you share with other people that we all benefit from it. 1117 00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:22,280 Speaker 1: So in some way. So this is a women's event 1118 00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:25,480 Speaker 1: that I didn't think I could do something like this 1119 00:59:25,600 --> 00:59:30,200 Speaker 1: on my own, but I'm putting something together. It's January eleventh. 1120 00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:32,520 Speaker 1: I have big plans for it. I want to take 1121 00:59:32,520 --> 00:59:35,080 Speaker 1: it to different cities for starting in LA And it's 1122 00:59:35,240 --> 00:59:40,400 Speaker 1: just a rather small gathering of women inspiring one another, 1123 00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:44,480 Speaker 1: sharing with one another, being vulnerable with each other, having 1124 00:59:44,520 --> 00:59:48,600 Speaker 1: conversations like we just had. And we're gonna have panelists 1125 00:59:49,080 --> 00:59:52,600 Speaker 1: from women from different walks of life, and there will 1126 00:59:52,640 --> 00:59:55,640 Speaker 1: be medical discussions, a lot of talk about menopause, a 1127 00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:58,840 Speaker 1: lot about you know, our bodies as we age and 1128 00:59:59,080 --> 01:00:01,800 Speaker 1: this next chapter in our lives that we're all stepping into. 1129 01:00:02,640 --> 01:00:04,160 Speaker 1: And so this is what we're going to be doing 1130 01:00:04,280 --> 01:00:08,800 Speaker 1: it all. It's like a little I choose me goop situation. 1131 01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:13,400 Speaker 2: I love that it's inspiring. Do you know why, because 1132 01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:18,080 Speaker 2: not to make this about me, but that would be 1133 01:00:18,200 --> 01:00:21,960 Speaker 2: great for to do for men to you gotta do it, 1134 01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:25,120 Speaker 2: you should. I'm serious because you know, I'm a pretty 1135 01:00:25,160 --> 01:00:28,760 Speaker 2: sensitive person, you know generally, and I love feelings and 1136 01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:31,600 Speaker 2: men have these fucking feelings. They all do. 1137 01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:33,760 Speaker 1: Most guys are not going to admit that. 1138 01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:39,840 Speaker 2: No idea to do something like that for men to 1139 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,320 Speaker 2: be able to come and hang and talk and feel, 1140 01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,760 Speaker 2: you know, where it's okay to sort of say things 1141 01:00:45,840 --> 01:00:48,680 Speaker 2: that they may feel uncomfortable. Yeah, you know. And here's 1142 01:00:48,720 --> 01:00:50,720 Speaker 2: the other thing that just pops into my head. How 1143 01:00:50,840 --> 01:00:57,600 Speaker 2: great would it be for men to be able to watch, witness, 1144 01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,360 Speaker 2: be a voyeur into what you were doing doing for women, 1145 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,760 Speaker 2: because then we get to understand each other a little 1146 01:01:04,800 --> 01:01:07,320 Speaker 2: bit more, you know what I mean. Like, wouldn't it 1147 01:01:07,360 --> 01:01:09,640 Speaker 2: be great for you know, if you had to sit 1148 01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,760 Speaker 2: men watching you know, we go watch this video on 1149 01:01:12,840 --> 01:01:16,400 Speaker 2: your women's form to sort of understand how women think. 1150 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,960 Speaker 2: And on the flip side of that, women watching men 1151 01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:19,880 Speaker 2: just understand how we. 1152 01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,360 Speaker 1: Think, right because it is different. I mean, yeah, we're 1153 01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:24,440 Speaker 1: built differently. 1154 01:01:24,920 --> 01:01:25,400 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. 1155 01:01:25,880 --> 01:01:27,520 Speaker 1: I think it would be good. I think you should. 1156 01:01:27,720 --> 01:01:29,960 Speaker 1: You should look into putting something together. 1157 01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:31,840 Speaker 2: You might have inspired me a little bit because I've 1158 01:01:31,840 --> 01:01:34,760 Speaker 2: been doing the Drew Barrymore show. I've done two of them. 1159 01:01:34,800 --> 01:01:37,520 Speaker 2: I'm going to do a few more actually, where she's 1160 01:01:37,600 --> 01:01:41,920 Speaker 2: bringing me on to, you know, talk about relationships and 1161 01:01:42,040 --> 01:01:46,360 Speaker 2: feelings and all of these things from a straight male perspective. 1162 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,840 Speaker 2: I love Drew's always like I'm surrounded by gay men, 1163 01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,720 Speaker 2: Like I need like a straight dude to come on 1164 01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:55,280 Speaker 2: to just talk about what it's like to sort of 1165 01:01:55,360 --> 01:01:57,080 Speaker 2: be in a relationship, to be a son, to be 1166 01:01:57,120 --> 01:01:59,840 Speaker 2: a husband, to be all of these things. And it's 1167 01:01:59,840 --> 01:02:02,120 Speaker 2: been amazing. It's been really really fun. 1168 01:02:02,920 --> 01:02:05,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's opening up something for you. I think that's exciting. 1169 01:02:05,800 --> 01:02:06,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 1170 01:02:07,240 --> 01:02:09,439 Speaker 1: So yeah, I mean like we're all in the same boat, 1171 01:02:09,720 --> 01:02:12,600 Speaker 1: especially around our ages. You know, I'm a little bit 1172 01:02:12,640 --> 01:02:15,800 Speaker 1: older than you, even ten years. Either way, we're all 1173 01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:19,800 Speaker 1: sort of like discovering this new version of ourselves and 1174 01:02:19,920 --> 01:02:23,800 Speaker 1: where our life is taking us and figuring it all out. 1175 01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:28,080 Speaker 1: But we're figuring it out now with such so much 1176 01:02:28,160 --> 01:02:30,640 Speaker 1: more openness and so much more of a place of 1177 01:02:30,800 --> 01:02:34,680 Speaker 1: understanding and wanting to love and understand ourselves so that 1178 01:02:34,840 --> 01:02:38,680 Speaker 1: we can nurture ourselves through this life, because we've seen 1179 01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:41,640 Speaker 1: what it's like to just be flying through it and 1180 01:02:41,760 --> 01:02:44,040 Speaker 1: not knowing and not being connected with who we are, 1181 01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:47,200 Speaker 1: what we're dealing with, and not sharing that with other people, 1182 01:02:47,760 --> 01:02:49,959 Speaker 1: not being vulnerable about it, and it doesn't feel great 1183 01:02:50,320 --> 01:02:52,520 Speaker 1: like that. All that did not feel great. Doing all 1184 01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:55,160 Speaker 1: that learning, all this shit that got me to hear 1185 01:02:56,000 --> 01:02:58,320 Speaker 1: didn't really feel that good. So I'm interested in what's 1186 01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:02,800 Speaker 1: next and this whole movie of supporting one another as women. 1187 01:03:03,000 --> 01:03:06,360 Speaker 1: I never experienced that in the industry that I was in, 1188 01:03:06,720 --> 01:03:09,160 Speaker 1: so it's something that I'm longing for and I just 1189 01:03:09,240 --> 01:03:12,000 Speaker 1: feel like other women are longing for it too, And 1190 01:03:12,160 --> 01:03:12,480 Speaker 1: that's why. 1191 01:03:12,560 --> 01:03:16,160 Speaker 2: Ever. Doing this is fun. Great, good for you, this 1192 01:03:16,320 --> 01:03:20,640 Speaker 2: is awesome. Maybe I'll sneak in. I have strong feminine energy, 1193 01:03:20,800 --> 01:03:26,520 Speaker 2: so you know, okay, we'll a ticket. Okay, Well, thank 1194 01:03:26,560 --> 01:03:29,600 Speaker 2: you so much. This has been really really uh, it's 1195 01:03:29,640 --> 01:03:31,400 Speaker 2: been fun. It's been great, a great chat. I love 1196 01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,840 Speaker 2: when I get into these sort of deeper conversations about 1197 01:03:33,840 --> 01:03:35,920 Speaker 2: all this stuff. You know, it's me too, me too, 1198 01:03:36,120 --> 01:03:38,320 Speaker 2: it's fun, and then let me know. I'm down to 1199 01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:40,520 Speaker 2: come on your show if you if you if you 1200 01:03:40,600 --> 01:03:45,720 Speaker 2: need someone to cry or a mote I love it. Yeah, 1201 01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,960 Speaker 2: call me all right, cool. 1202 01:03:48,040 --> 01:03:48,840 Speaker 1: Thank you talking? 1203 01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:57,480 Speaker 2: Happy holidays, Happy holidays. Oh god, fun always fun, said 1204 01:03:57,480 --> 01:04:00,560 Speaker 2: the same descrivery time. It's always fun. But I like podcast. 1205 01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:01,760 Speaker 2: I want to I want to listen to it. I 1206 01:04:01,880 --> 01:04:07,080 Speaker 2: like that idea too, you know, interesting, deep, good conversation. 1207 01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:09,400 Speaker 2: I like when it sort of takes those left turns 1208 01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:15,360 Speaker 2: into something unexpected. Anyway, I need to eat food. I'm 1209 01:04:15,400 --> 01:04:19,840 Speaker 2: intermittent fasting again because I'm growing titties. I