1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:16,759 Speaker 1: M hmmm. Hi everyone, and welcome to Dear Cheekies. This 2 00:00:16,840 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 1: is a brand new addition to my Chickies and Chill podcast, 3 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 1: and if you haven't heard it, go check it out. 4 00:00:20,960 --> 00:00:24,439 Speaker 1: Those episodes are longer and more in depth, but here 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: on Dear Cheekies, episodes are a lot more intimate and 6 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:29,400 Speaker 1: it's a chance for me to connect with you the 7 00:00:29,480 --> 00:00:32,599 Speaker 1: listeners on a personal level. Every week I'm answering your 8 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:36,519 Speaker 1: questions on love, relationships and more. Submit your questions at 9 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,160 Speaker 1: speak pipe dot com Slash cheek Ease and Chill podcast. 10 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: Last week's questions were really great and I can't wait 11 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 1: to dive into a couple more this week. So let's 12 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: do it. Let's press play and get into the first question. 13 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: Hey girl, So before asking you my question, I also 14 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:57,040 Speaker 1: just wanted to let you know that you are amazing. 15 00:00:57,280 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 1: You are in honor to ry the Latina name. We're 16 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,280 Speaker 1: proud of you. I'm proud to be in Latina and 17 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: I'm proud of what you represent, and just wanted to 18 00:01:07,959 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: say that my question would be regarding finances. I know 19 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:15,319 Speaker 1: because I've been a fan of your mom and you 20 00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:21,480 Speaker 1: throughout the years that in episodes you were able to 21 00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:25,800 Speaker 1: show us that you had a shopping problem. I don't 22 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 1: know finance would be correct, but um, I want to 23 00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:30,800 Speaker 1: know how did you learn to budget? How did you 24 00:01:30,880 --> 00:01:33,640 Speaker 1: learn a budget, how did you learn to cut down 25 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:39,960 Speaker 1: on your spending? And how do you invest? Um from 26 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:44,760 Speaker 1: one Shopoholic too, it may be previous shopoholic. Um, I 27 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,040 Speaker 1: would like some advice on that on how to start 28 00:01:47,400 --> 00:01:51,840 Speaker 1: getting myself together to build a future for myself. Yeahdi, 29 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: I love your question. And first of all, Mama, thank 30 00:01:54,720 --> 00:01:58,360 Speaker 1: you so much for supporting my career, my mom's career, 31 00:01:58,400 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 1: for following us on you know, the ality shows and everything, 32 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,440 Speaker 1: and for that beautiful message you made my heart smile. 33 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank you, thank you. Now, look, budgeting is 34 00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:13,640 Speaker 1: it's a tough one. I think it's just with time 35 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,959 Speaker 1: you start learning and valuing what money is in your life. 36 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: What I started doing personally was if I got a 37 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 1: check for I would put fifty dollars of that check 38 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: in a savings account. I would say, Okay, I'm going 39 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 1: to go on a trip, or I want to buy 40 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,880 Speaker 1: myself X, Y or Z, whatever it may be. I 41 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 1: was just putting, no matter what, a certain amount on 42 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 1: the side for me to save just for a rainy 43 00:02:39,400 --> 00:02:42,880 Speaker 1: day or for a special event or occasion. I can 44 00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:45,840 Speaker 1: honestly say I've gotten a lot better. I don't shop 45 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:48,520 Speaker 1: as much as I used to. I think when I 46 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 1: had that shopping issue was because I was trying to 47 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:54,520 Speaker 1: feel avoid in my heart something that was missing in 48 00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:56,799 Speaker 1: my life. And again, it wasn't my money. It was 49 00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,480 Speaker 1: my mom's money, so it was just easy for me 50 00:02:58,560 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: to just slide the car heard and use her money 51 00:03:01,440 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: to buy stuff. And then when I started earning my 52 00:03:04,880 --> 00:03:07,680 Speaker 1: own money, I started realizing, Okay, this is hard. You know, 53 00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: it's not easy to earn this amount of money, so 54 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: I have to really be mindful of it and be frugal. 55 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: I would give myself a little bit of therapy all 56 00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,959 Speaker 1: the time, and obviously que the waste that you know 57 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,200 Speaker 1: what I mean. So that's one thing. And then just 58 00:03:25,960 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: knowing that, especially because I'm self employed, I need to 59 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: have a savings account. I need to have a backup 60 00:03:32,639 --> 00:03:35,160 Speaker 1: and that helped me out a lot. And now when 61 00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: I go to the store, I asked myself, Okay, do 62 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: I really need this purse? Is this a luxury or 63 00:03:42,280 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 1: is this a necessity? And most of the time it's 64 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,240 Speaker 1: a luxury, I don't need it, you know what I mean. Like, 65 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: it's just really asking yourself those questions. I don't know 66 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: if this happens to you, but every time I go 67 00:03:52,560 --> 00:03:54,720 Speaker 1: to Target, I go in for one thing and I 68 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,240 Speaker 1: come out with so many things. I've learned to say, 69 00:03:57,320 --> 00:03:59,840 Speaker 1: I'm here for this, and I'm going to buy things 70 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:04,280 Speaker 1: that I need, not that I want. So I still 71 00:04:04,280 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 1: find myself in those predicaments, but now I just don't 72 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:10,200 Speaker 1: really have the time to shop as much. But now 73 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,880 Speaker 1: it's online shopping, so you got to be careful with 74 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 1: that too. So it's just always ask yourself, do I 75 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:20,120 Speaker 1: want this or do I need this? Especially nowadays, let's 76 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 1: think about the necessities of life. Another thing that really 77 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 1: helped me is knowing that the money that I have 78 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,760 Speaker 1: coming in, yes, it's for me, but it's also how 79 00:04:29,800 --> 00:04:32,200 Speaker 1: can I bless other people with what God is blessing 80 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: me with. So I always put a little to the 81 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: side to to give back in some way. That has 82 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:39,559 Speaker 1: also helped me a lot. It's just you know, paying 83 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: it forward, you know. And if you want to know 84 00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:43,799 Speaker 1: more about this, because I speak about it more in depth, 85 00:04:44,160 --> 00:04:47,279 Speaker 1: go to my cheeks and Chill podcasts and it's called 86 00:04:47,360 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: My Relationship with Money. I have an episode all about it. So, Yeahdi, 87 00:04:52,440 --> 00:04:54,360 Speaker 1: I hope that that helped a little bit. I can 88 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:57,200 Speaker 1: go on and on about this, but I do appreciate 89 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,839 Speaker 1: your question and taking the time to submit your question 90 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:07,479 Speaker 1: of Mama. Thank you so much. So that was a 91 00:05:07,480 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 1: great question, and I think it's one that is important 92 00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:12,400 Speaker 1: for all of us to know a little bit more about. 93 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: So let's get into the next question. From a net 94 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: their chickies. It has been four years since I last 95 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:27,960 Speaker 1: spoke to my mom. She is very toxic and not 96 00:05:28,040 --> 00:05:31,479 Speaker 1: good for my mental health. But I missed her and 97 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:36,600 Speaker 1: I still can't get over that heartbreak. Help me how 98 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 1: do I get over it? Oh, and met, You're gonna 99 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,680 Speaker 1: make me cry. This is a very touchy topic for 100 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:50,479 Speaker 1: me because, believe me, obviously our parents brought us into 101 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: this world. They're important and we should always honor them. 102 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:58,279 Speaker 1: But if your mother is toxic and makes you feel 103 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:03,360 Speaker 1: worse rather than better, then it's okay to love her 104 00:06:03,400 --> 00:06:06,480 Speaker 1: from afar. If you miss her, tell her, send her 105 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,400 Speaker 1: a message, send her flowers, just say hey, Mom, thinking 106 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: about you. I know we haven't talked in a long time, 107 00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:13,560 Speaker 1: but I love you, Boom, you know what I mean. 108 00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 1: Sender the flowers. You don't even have to see her 109 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 1: to go see her, then do so. When you miss someone, 110 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: don't ignore that feeling. Call them, text them, send them flowers, 111 00:06:26,360 --> 00:06:30,599 Speaker 1: like I just said, but don't ignore that. It's okay 112 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,680 Speaker 1: to not have a relationship with her like a mother 113 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:39,080 Speaker 1: daughter relationship until maybe you know, she realizes that she 114 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:43,359 Speaker 1: can change a little bit as well. But there's no 115 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: shame in loving her. You know, there's someone in my 116 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 1: family that I don't have a relationship with anymore, but 117 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,279 Speaker 1: once in a while I'll be like, hey, I hope 118 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: you're good. And that's it. You know, you don't have 119 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 1: to have a day to day relationship to still love 120 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,359 Speaker 1: the person and to still honor them. And if you 121 00:06:59,400 --> 00:07:04,200 Speaker 1: miss them, girl, tell her you miss her. Just tell her, 122 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 1: even if you don't get a response, as long as 123 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: you let that be known. And I'm praying for you 124 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 1: and your mom. I hope the relationship gets better. I 125 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:15,920 Speaker 1: don't know what happened. If she is toxic, let's pray 126 00:07:15,960 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: for her. Let's set her love and light. Because I 127 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,360 Speaker 1: hear it in your voice. I know it's breaking your heart. Mama, 128 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:26,160 Speaker 1: but don't ignore that. Don't be prideful. Don't let pride 129 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: and ego are what kill love the fastest. So just 130 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:34,160 Speaker 1: let it. Let it be known. That's my advice to you, Mama. 131 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,520 Speaker 1: So thank you for your question. These questions, Oh my goodness, guys, 132 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:41,080 Speaker 1: they were they were good. These questions are really making 133 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 1: my heart feel some type of way. So thank you 134 00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: guys so much for submitting them. Thank you all for 135 00:07:57,080 --> 00:08:00,720 Speaker 1: submitting your questions, and just a friendly reminder to speak 136 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:03,720 Speaker 1: to a therapist if you're struggling with an issue or hardship. 137 00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 1: I've said this many times, but I'm going to say 138 00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:09,640 Speaker 1: it again. I really think I was put on this 139 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:12,280 Speaker 1: earth to help others, and I'll continue to do so 140 00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 1: in any way that I possibly can, especially using my platforms. 141 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for listening, and I will see 142 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: you next Wednesday with another episode of Dear Cheek Ease 143 00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:26,480 Speaker 1: once again. You can submit your questions at speak pipe 144 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: dot com, slash Cheeks and Chill Podcasts mm hmm. This 145 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 1: is a production of I Heart Radio and Michael podcast Network. 146 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram at Michael Podcasts and follow me Cheeks. 147 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 1: That's c Age, I q U i s. For more 148 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:57,400 Speaker 1: podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart Radio app, 149 00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:00,800 Speaker 1: Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.