1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,920 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, This is from b on Steve barbfm 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,400 Speaker 1: B says, my husband and I have been together for 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:08,360 Speaker 1: three years and we are expecting our first child. She 4 00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,520 Speaker 1: needs your advice, she said. He shares custody of his 5 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,880 Speaker 1: two kids, ages seven and nine, with his ex, who 6 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,600 Speaker 1: treats them like pawns. She refuses to let me help 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 1: with pickups or drop offs. She's inflexible with custody changes 8 00:00:22,720 --> 00:00:26,079 Speaker 1: when we need them, but expects us to accommodate her. 9 00:00:26,560 --> 00:00:31,000 Speaker 1: I love my husband, but dealing with her has been exhausting, 10 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: and if I'd known how bad it would be, I 11 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,080 Speaker 1: might not have pursued the relationship. So she wants to know. 12 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:41,239 Speaker 1: How can she minimize the damage she's causing to their family, 13 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: including her own kids. 14 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 2: Well, what you do is don't give her the power. 15 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 2: See a lot of times, what these people do who 16 00:00:51,159 --> 00:00:53,479 Speaker 2: do that, they do that because they know it ticks 17 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,600 Speaker 2: you off. They know it roffles your feathers. What she 18 00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: ain't happy with is that you got her man and 19 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 2: going on with your life and now you pregnant with 20 00:01:01,840 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 2: a baby. Oh no, he not fin to go off 21 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 2: and have no happy life, happy wife. I'm finna make 22 00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: your life miserable. What you gotta do is take her 23 00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:15,039 Speaker 2: off to mess up your day, radar screen. Don't let 24 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:19,200 Speaker 2: nothing she do affects you. Kill her with kindness, Oh, 25 00:01:19,319 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 2: thank you so much. Oh everything she do towards the kids, 26 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:26,240 Speaker 2: Oh that was great. Thank you. And just don't let it. 27 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 2: Don't let it get under your skin. She's doing a 28 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,200 Speaker 2: lot of this because she know it gets under your skin. 29 00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:34,120 Speaker 2: And I know what I'm telling you. It's hard to do. 30 00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:40,800 Speaker 2: But if you can do that, you can minimize the damage. Because, 31 00:01:40,840 --> 00:01:43,320 Speaker 2: let me tell you something else, kids are going to 32 00:01:43,480 --> 00:01:47,119 Speaker 2: realize as they get older, the truth. You ain't got 33 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,840 Speaker 2: to say nothing. Kids are not stupid, Mamma. You trip it. 34 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:55,800 Speaker 1: All right, Steve, We have time for another one. This 35 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:59,559 Speaker 1: is for see from CW on Facebook. C W says, 36 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 1: I'm happy way through my first year of college and 37 00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: my parents are making it known that they don't approve 38 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: of my career choice, and it's getting on my nerves. 39 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,480 Speaker 1: My dad owns a popular local restaurant and his dream 40 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,360 Speaker 1: was for me to take it over when he retired. Unfortunately, 41 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:19,120 Speaker 1: that was not my dream. When I made known in 42 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:22,720 Speaker 1: high school, everything got negative. When I made that known 43 00:02:22,720 --> 00:02:25,160 Speaker 1: in high school, everything got negative. Now I'm working my 44 00:02:25,200 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: way through school and getting good grades in my computer 45 00:02:27,960 --> 00:02:31,800 Speaker 1: science courses, which is where I want to be every day. However, 46 00:02:31,840 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: there's another reminder from them about quote my poor life 47 00:02:35,480 --> 00:02:39,000 Speaker 1: choices and how disappointed they are in me. I love 48 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: my parents, and I really don't want to stop talking 49 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: to them, but I can't take all this drama about 50 00:02:43,320 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: my career choice. What should I do? 51 00:02:46,040 --> 00:02:52,280 Speaker 2: Write a letter? A letter? Yeah, because you know, sometimes 52 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:55,520 Speaker 2: when you talk to your parents, they don't hear, because 53 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,440 Speaker 2: all they're trying to do is show you how they 54 00:02:57,480 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 2: are right. They made a decision about her life, and 55 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 2: what we as parents got to realize is is not 56 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:07,399 Speaker 2: our life. These kids have different paths that they own. 57 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,400 Speaker 2: What you wanted for them, it ain't have nothing doing. 58 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,359 Speaker 2: I ain't none of them on the path I want 59 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:17,639 Speaker 2: them on. None of them, none of none of mine. 60 00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:21,079 Speaker 2: Ain't none of mine on the path I set up. Yes, 61 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 2: but it's cool, and they gotta find their own way. 62 00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 2: It's they life, you man go live yours. So write 63 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:31,040 Speaker 2: them a letter and tell them exactly how you feel. 64 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 2: You know, that was his dream was for you to 65 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:37,760 Speaker 2: run the restaurant. Nobody want to little Ragged Ass restaurant. 66 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:42,040 Speaker 2: Want that he ain't in the back. I'm not cooking, No, 67 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 2: damn neck bones. It ain't what I want to do. 68 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 2: You in computer science where the future is learn how 69 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:51,240 Speaker 2: to cold so you can have a career and make 70 00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,720 Speaker 2: real money. And they gonna have in a minute, they're 71 00:03:53,720 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 2: gonna have stoves cooking, neck bones, form and all kinds 72 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,280 Speaker 2: of stuff. You don't want to run the greens this bone. 73 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,560 Speaker 2: We've been having to grease his boom. It's been around 74 00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:06,600 Speaker 2: fifty years now. Yeah, well you in so no, no, 75 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:11,200 Speaker 2: you can't, Yeah, you can't. You know, I was fortunate 76 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 2: in that I don't have a career. I can leave 77 00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,400 Speaker 2: my kids, so I've kind of always had to just 78 00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:18,040 Speaker 2: being to what they want to do. And they made 79 00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 2: some decisions, and but most of the decisions they make 80 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,000 Speaker 2: it is working out. Good. 81 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:25,039 Speaker 1: That's good. Good, Yeah, that's good. 82 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:31,599 Speaker 2: I got one that's on the path that I don't know, but. 83 00:04:31,640 --> 00:04:35,279 Speaker 1: It's their life. Yeah, all right, all right, we'll have 84 00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:39,040 Speaker 1: more of The Steve Harvey Morning Show came. 85 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 2: Up with this. 86 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,039 Speaker 1: You're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show.