Speaker 1: Kaboom. If you thought four hours a day, minutes a
Speaker 1: week was enough, I think again. He's the last remnants
Speaker 1: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
Speaker 1: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
Speaker 1: rich pill poppers in the penthouse, to clearinghouse of hot takes,
Speaker 1: break free for something special. The Fifth Hour with Ben
Speaker 1: Maller starts right now in the air everywhere, never tight lip,
Speaker 1: not on the podcast The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller
Speaker 1: from the Tabernacle. That's a fun word, right, Tabernacle. That's
Speaker 1: actually just the podcast studio at a secret location somewhere
Speaker 1: deep in the north Woods. Because four hours a night
Speaker 1: during the week or not enough. We must come in
Speaker 1: to the Sanctuary a days a week, eight days a
Speaker 1: week here bloviating the night away, reminiscing about days of
Speaker 1: yore and days to come as well. And let's not
Speaker 1: that's not really what we do here. But this the
Speaker 1: Sunday edition of The Fifth Hour, and we thank you
Speaker 1: have those that have sent questions in. We will get
Speaker 1: to the many, many questions that have come in for
Speaker 1: this week's mailbag. And as I said, if you did
Speaker 1: not listen on Saturday. We have no official announcement on
Speaker 1: who is replacing Gascon Mr West of the four oh
Speaker 1: five as the sidekick on the podcast, but we will
Speaker 1: keep you abreast of the situation. Hopefully, if everything goes well,
Speaker 1: knock on wood, we will have someone in place by
Speaker 1: this coming weekend, assuming we do the podcast. It is
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving weekends, so let me know. Maybe I'll put a
Speaker 1: Twitter pull up here at some point whether or not
Speaker 1: you want fresh podcast if you're actually gonna listen to
Speaker 1: them on Thanksgiving weekend, or I should just take the
Speaker 1: Thanksgiving weekend off and avoid doing the podcast stuff. So
Speaker 1: that is yet to be determined. But without further ado,
Speaker 1: here we go. They you, Ohio. All these are actual
Speaker 1: listener questions. These are not fake made up questions. These
Speaker 1: are questions sending by fellow consumers of the product. Uh.
Speaker 1: They have said, listen, we are here for you. I
Speaker 1: got mail, I got mail, I got a lot of mail.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited about it. Some of these submitted via
Speaker 1: Facebook the Facebook page Ben Mallard Show. All right, Facebook
Speaker 1: page Ben Mallard Show. And you can also email your
Speaker 1: question in real fifth hour, real fifth hour. Yes we do,
Speaker 1: so we will get to that. Thanks to Ohio Al
Speaker 1: for sending in those many, many, many wonderful songs that
Speaker 1: he's he's done a us. I think he sent three in.
Speaker 1: That's a lot. That's more than I've ever made. But
Speaker 1: on with the questions. Alright, come back, it's time from
Speaker 1: mail call alright, alright, calm down. So the first message
Speaker 1: comes from Kevin in Kansas. He says, dear Bend, besides teaching,
Speaker 1: I also mo and clean a lot of yards. With
Speaker 1: the season winding down, it makes me wonder if you
Speaker 1: have time to do your own yard work or are
Speaker 1: you one to higher outside help meaning of course a
Speaker 1: gardener and all that. Please keep these podcasts going. So Kevin,
Speaker 1: I don't have much of a green thumb. If you've
Speaker 1: listened in previous podcasts, I've told the story. I'm still
Speaker 1: working on the yard as it got destroyed in the
Speaker 1: home renovation. The home renovation is not completely done. Most
Speaker 1: of it's done, there's still some stuff that needs to
Speaker 1: be finished, and the yard needs to be improved. So
Speaker 1: I am working on putting the grass down and taking
Speaker 1: care of that. Typically during the week, I don't have
Speaker 1: a lot of time and work at night, so I'm
Speaker 1: not really awake during the daylight hours when most gardening
Speaker 1: work is done. Um, but I do try to trim
Speaker 1: the trees and do some of the the guarding work.
Speaker 1: But we do have someone that comes to the house
Speaker 1: and takes care of it usually once once a week,
Speaker 1: once every couple of weeks and takes care of it. Uh.
Speaker 1: But that's good hustle by you, Kevin. You know you're
Speaker 1: not only teaching, but you're also makeing a electra. I
Speaker 1: assume you're not doing that for free. That's not pro
Speaker 1: Oh no work that you're actually out there and you're
Speaker 1: getting paid a little bit of money for it. Good
Speaker 1: job by you, and you're right. In Kansas, you have
Speaker 1: to stop doing that. In California, you don't have to
Speaker 1: worry about it. There's one season in California it rains
Speaker 1: for like two or three weeks, maybe maybe during the wintertime,
Speaker 1: and then it gets oppressively hot for part of the
Speaker 1: year and the rest of the time it's it's my
Speaker 1: old temperatures. Pierre in Springfield, Massachusetts, home of the Pro
Speaker 1: Basketball Hall of Fame, where the great Muffett mcgrawl is enshrined.
Speaker 1: I know you're impressed by that. Fun fact. I know
Speaker 1: it is very, very impressive, but listen, we have fun
Speaker 1: fact anyway, Pierre a friend of alf the amienal pining. Right,
Speaker 1: since it's been now that we don't have gascon to
Speaker 1: kick around anymore, since he took his ball and went home,
Speaker 1: are you looking for a yes man that believes in
Speaker 1: radio analytic or someone that has a great feel for radio? Alright?
Speaker 1: Wonderful question from Pierre. Pierre, you know how I feel
Speaker 1: about analytics and stats tell you what has happened, not
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. And they have these these weird
Speaker 1: squiggly lines, these squiggly ziggly lines that mess everything up.
Speaker 1: So my preference would be to bring somebody in who
Speaker 1: is a radio pro, someone that gets radio. That would
Speaker 1: be the way we are leaning. And we we do
Speaker 1: have someone in mind, and I think everything should be
Speaker 1: good on that to have the announcement, but I have
Speaker 1: not been allowed from management to give the green light.
Speaker 1: The person we are trying to put in the podcast
Speaker 1: is not currently available to do said podcast, and so
Speaker 1: we have to make sure everything is good on that. Uh.
Speaker 1: He also says any progress on the outdoor wood or
Speaker 1: gas fired pizza oven, I'm living vicariously through your cooking escapades.
Speaker 1: So we have not gone out and gotten the pizza oven.
Speaker 1: The back back of the house there the outdoor area,
Speaker 1: outdoor space, whatever you call it. It still needs a
Speaker 1: lot of work. We cleaned up a lot of it
Speaker 1: last weekend, I think it was. We did a lot
Speaker 1: of clean up, so a lot of the broken glass
Speaker 1: is all gone. The stuff we could find. I used
Speaker 1: a shop back that was missing a wheel to put
Speaker 1: everything out there and put everything together. So, uh, we're
Speaker 1: not at that point. But you did send me I
Speaker 1: think it was you, Pierre that sent me a nice
Speaker 1: link on Amazon. I'm sure that thing's gone up in price.
Speaker 1: That an outdoor pizza oven. That wasn't that much. I
Speaker 1: gotta do it. I make the Mallard pizza. I've made
Speaker 1: that a few times in the house. I made it
Speaker 1: this week. Last weekend we made the rip off Popeye's
Speaker 1: Chicken sandwich, a recipe we got off the YouTube, which
Speaker 1: is amazing, and it is shocking how little chicken is
Speaker 1: actually in the Popeye's chicken sandwich, at least the one
Speaker 1: I made. Because what I do is I get I
Speaker 1: even get a chicken breast and cut it up into
Speaker 1: chicken tender size. Or what I'll do is I'll get
Speaker 1: the chicken tenders from like Walmart or whatever, and I'll
Speaker 1: just take one chicken tender, pound that thing down, make
Speaker 1: it as flat as you can possibly make it, because
Speaker 1: it'll puff back up when you cook it, and it
Speaker 1: makes this large chicken sandwich. I should have taken a picture.
Speaker 1: Next time I make that, I'm gonna have to take
Speaker 1: a picture. But I will keep you updated, Pierre on
Speaker 1: cooking with Benny. We'll have to come up with a
Speaker 1: better name than that. Fred in Spring, Texas writes in
Speaker 1: and Fred says, hey, Ben, where did you and your
Speaker 1: wife hunting moon? So Fred, back in the day when
Speaker 1: I left a bachelorhood behind became an honest man, I
Speaker 1: got married in Hawaii. And when you get married in Hawaii,
Speaker 1: you don't need to go anywhere else for your honeymoon.
Speaker 1: So we got married. No family was there, just me
Speaker 1: and my wife, and we got married, and we hung out,
Speaker 1: and we went to Hawaii and we hung out on
Speaker 1: the Garden Island. And there are a few different islands
Speaker 1: in the Hawaiian Island chain that are part of the
Speaker 1: United States. There's actually I read this the other day
Speaker 1: that there's a hundred and thirty two islands that make
Speaker 1: up the Hawaiian island chain, but there's only a few
Speaker 1: that are actually part of the United States. Right. It's
Speaker 1: kind of it's kind of crazy when you think about
Speaker 1: how many now what they classify as an island. Uh,
Speaker 1: most of us would look at and say, uh, you know,
Speaker 1: there's no there's no one living there, so that's not
Speaker 1: really an island. And it's like a little rock popping
Speaker 1: up out of the ocean. And but they say that
Speaker 1: there's like a hundred and thirty two of the is
Speaker 1: little little things popping up. Some of the big ones
Speaker 1: are part of the United States, Uh, Hawaii on the
Speaker 1: Hawaiian Islands, and the rest they're just kind of there.
Speaker 1: All right, you are fake, No, I'm not. That's legitimate
Speaker 1: information that I read on a website. But I loved
Speaker 1: I love Hawaii, love Kauai beautiful. If I was really rich,
Speaker 1: I would probably buy a house there and live there
Speaker 1: part of the year and have a wonderful time. But
Speaker 1: fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your outlook on things, Fred,
Speaker 1: I don't have that kind of money, and it's very
Speaker 1: expensive even visit Hawaii. But I've been lucky. I've been
Speaker 1: there a number of times. I think I've been there
Speaker 1: four or five times in my life when when I
Speaker 1: was a kid with my parents, And it's great. You
Speaker 1: could swim with seat turtles and their seals all over
Speaker 1: the place, and the snorkeling and the the water is
Speaker 1: just amazing. Oh, it's beautiful, all right, Dave writes in
Speaker 1: in Mill Valley, California. He says, Hey, Bank, why do
Speaker 1: you tolerate such insubordination from members of your radio crew
Speaker 1: when they ruthlessly and shamelessly heck are you? I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you don't deserve it, but still, all right, so
Speaker 1: this gets asked from time to time. And as you know,
Speaker 1: this show, the radio show, is much different than any
Speaker 1: other radio just about any other Like most radio shows,
Speaker 1: like I often use the analogy Dan Patrick and the
Speaker 1: dan Ets Uh, smooch, smooch, love love for Dan, all right.
Speaker 1: They do everything in their power to make Dan look good.
Speaker 1: And it's a good show. And Dan Patrick's a Hall
Speaker 1: of Famer on our show. Yeah, it is on and
Speaker 1: on like Donkey Kong. And by the end of the show,
Speaker 1: normally I am the one standing up the tallest and
Speaker 1: the rest of the guys. Yeah, just like in Donkey Kong.
Speaker 1: Uh that is it. But uh yeah, for some reason,
Speaker 1: I've always had this kind of thing, and I don't
Speaker 1: encourage it. I don't think I encourage it. But we
Speaker 1: like to bust the balls on the show. We we
Speaker 1: goof on the people that call into the show, their
Speaker 1: characters on the show. They're part of the program, and
Speaker 1: they're part of our little dysfunctional family of the Mallar Militia.
Speaker 1: And so the guys in the show have taken some
Speaker 1: creative license and had a field day with that. All right,
Speaker 1: we do have more mail. Let's go to Jason from
Speaker 1: Rocky Mount, Virginia. He says, Ben, throughout your life, have
Speaker 1: you ever gotten pretty good at bar or party type
Speaker 1: games such as pool, darts, horseshoes, or cornhole? Well, I
Speaker 1: have had my moments in cornhole. I've done pretty well.
Speaker 1: If that the bean bag tossing game, I've won my share.
Speaker 1: I have. I have won my share the game, and
Speaker 1: I don't think it quality fights by your definition, Jason
Speaker 1: in Rocky Mount, Virginia of like a party type game,
Speaker 1: but I do it has been like those fund zone
Speaker 1: places Ski ball, al right, ski ball. When I in
Speaker 1: my youth, I was a hustler at ski ball, back
Speaker 1: at at Chuck E Cheese, back in the day. And
Speaker 1: it was a domination situation, all right, Yes it was.
Speaker 1: I owned. I had great muscle memory doing that. And
Speaker 1: it was very very good one a lot of tickets,
Speaker 1: won a lot of cheap plastic toys from that little
Speaker 1: gift area where you going that. We had a place
Speaker 1: called Bullwinkles, which was like a Chucky Cheese competitor, and
Speaker 1: that place was not far from the house, and we
Speaker 1: go in there and it was awesome. And I would
Speaker 1: just tell everyone else listen, all right, I'm playing the
Speaker 1: game here and you're not winning. Okay, you are not winning.
Speaker 1: Moving on in the mail bag, Who do we have next?
Speaker 1: Let's go do Valls fan Jimmy in Fayetteville, Tennessee. He says,
Speaker 1: for both of you, have you and are Mr West
Speaker 1: of the four h five ever been in a real knockdown,
Speaker 1: drag out fight with anyone? Now? False fan Jimmy. That
Speaker 1: tells me you have listened to every podcast unless unless
Speaker 1: you have not listened to every podcast, and you somehow forgot,
Speaker 1: somehow forgot that Mr West of the four oh five
Speaker 1: resigned from the podcast, said I am out of here,
Speaker 1: bye bye. Uh yeah, that's it. That's pretty much what
Speaker 1: he said, although he didn't give any money back, so
Speaker 1: he's not part of the program, So bad job by you.
Speaker 1: But valls fan Jimmy, I will answer the question. Back
Speaker 1: in junior high school, I did get into some dust ups,
Speaker 1: playground fights. I am old enough that when I was
Speaker 1: a kid that was allowed. You did not end up
Speaker 1: getting kicked out of school when that happened, and being
Speaker 1: the biggest kid in the school, it was an accomplishment
Speaker 1: to kick the big kid's ass, and so many people
Speaker 1: attempted and I had to hold my ground when that
Speaker 1: took place. And so that did happen quite a bit. Uh, well,
Speaker 1: not quite a bit. I remember junior high I got
Speaker 1: into two fights. I've had in one one fight in
Speaker 1: high school. Be sure to catch live editions of The
Speaker 1: Ben Maller Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm
Speaker 1: Pacific on Fox Sports Radio and the I Heart Radio app.
Speaker 1: I Got mail, na, I got mail. Yeah, we have
Speaker 1: more male j Bone from Portland's Main Rights and he says, Ben,
Speaker 1: have you ever been thrown out of a game or
Speaker 1: anywhere for that matter. So j Bon, I'm trying to
Speaker 1: think off the top of my head. I do not
Speaker 1: recall every being kicked out of a game. I assume
Speaker 1: you're referring to playing in a game like a high
Speaker 1: school game or something along those lines. Now, I will
Speaker 1: tell you that I did get chased by security at
Speaker 1: what is now the Crypto Arena, which was formerly known
Speaker 1: as the Staples Center back in the day when it early,
Speaker 1: when it opened up in the late nineties there, and
Speaker 1: they had the security staff. They still have the Red coats,
Speaker 1: they call them the Red Coats, out there doing their thing.
Speaker 1: And I left Staples Center and I had in my
Speaker 1: hand a carbonated beverage. As I remember, it was a
Speaker 1: Dr Pepper. It's possible it was a Pepsi. It's possible
Speaker 1: it was a Cherry Coke. But as I remember it,
Speaker 1: it was a Dr Pepper. And so j Bone, I
Speaker 1: was leaving. I was covering a Laker game or a
Speaker 1: Clipper game or whatever. And I'm walking out a Staple
Speaker 1: Center and downtown l A. And it's it's probably eleven
Speaker 1: o'clock at night or something like that, and I'm walking out.
Speaker 1: I have the carbonated beverage in my hand, and I
Speaker 1: walk out of the arena. I get about ten steps
Speaker 1: outside the arena and I see a guy on a
Speaker 1: walk I see a guy behind me because I turned
Speaker 1: around because I heard a kind of kind of a
Speaker 1: how would I describe it? I heard? I heard a
Speaker 1: little noise. There weren't many people around the game and
Speaker 1: ended long enough where there weren't a lot of people
Speaker 1: outside Staple Center, so there was some kind of conversation happening.
Speaker 1: It turned out it was about me, right, And so
Speaker 1: this redcoats on the walkie talk he's saying, hey, some
Speaker 1: he's got he's got a beverage he left. He's walking
Speaker 1: out of the arena right, and I'm like, what are
Speaker 1: you talking about? Me? And uh? And next thing I know,
Speaker 1: now I'm pretty fat at this time. I'm a big
Speaker 1: I'm a big heifer. I'm Porky the pig. And so
Speaker 1: I started going down the street and I'm making my
Speaker 1: move whatever, and this guy's following me and he's like
Speaker 1: stop stop. I'm like what I'm I'm looking around, like
Speaker 1: what the heck did I do? And I'm getting annoyed here,
Speaker 1: and so I keep going and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: think I said anything. By my head, I'm that's what
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, right, So I keep going and then another guy.
Speaker 1: There's the two guys chasing me. Granted it's a slow
Speaker 1: speed chase, right, it's not. It's not one of these
Speaker 1: long term situations. But you know, I'm going down doing
Speaker 1: the doing. I'm walking away. And it turned out that, uh,
Speaker 1: that I had violated the Staples Center policy. You're not
Speaker 1: you were not allowed to take beverages out of Staples Center.
Speaker 1: That that was contraband how crazy is that? Right? And
Speaker 1: so I got in trouble for that. But I wasn't
Speaker 1: like kicked out. I just like it was like a
Speaker 1: slow speed chase kind of thing. And I I've left
Speaker 1: some movies because the movie wasn't bad. I've walked out.
Speaker 1: Doesn't count as being kicked out. I'm trying to think.
Speaker 1: There's nothing that pops into my head right now of
Speaker 1: getting kicked out. I have been banned, well, yeah, I've
Speaker 1: been kicked out of locker rooms, covering locker rooms. That's
Speaker 1: happened multiple times. I don't I don't consider that the
Speaker 1: same though. I don't think of that as being kicked
Speaker 1: out of the game. I was just told like, I'm
Speaker 1: not a lout in the locker room because I asked
Speaker 1: questions that were offensive to players and they snapped at
Speaker 1: me and said, hey you u s and shocked the
Speaker 1: fuck yeah, And and then the next thing I know,
Speaker 1: I had to get out of there, and ID guys
Speaker 1: in the days threatened to fight me. We talked with
Speaker 1: Jerry Coleman Sports with Coleman on Friday. I could do
Speaker 1: an entire podcast going through some of those old locker
Speaker 1: room confrontations with players who are all really old now
Speaker 1: or dead. I know, right, it's crazy how fast times
Speaker 1: go go by, but so, yeah, I guess and that
Speaker 1: that would be the closest. And I did get kicked
Speaker 1: out of the locker room because of players being offended
Speaker 1: by what I said. Who else do we have? Next? Up? Boy?
Speaker 1: Who sent this one? I forget? I think this was
Speaker 1: from Patricia in Vegas? I think if not, I apologize,
Speaker 1: She says, I think Steve de Sager, the update guy,
Speaker 1: should be your sidekick. He is very knowledgeable. I like
Speaker 1: that he gives extra info on doing the updates. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I love Steve Sager is great, had a lot of fun.
Speaker 1: We've had Steve. I believe he popped up on this
Speaker 1: podcast right at some point we've had him on the podcast.
Speaker 1: And me and Steve go way back in the old days.
Speaker 1: We had great memories coming games in Anaheim and Dodger Stadium,
Speaker 1: and Steve's a lifetime radio guy. I think he's very good.
Speaker 1: I I am not sucking up to him, but he's
Speaker 1: always been rock solid as a news guy, as a
Speaker 1: sports guy. And I remember when Steve Disagreel hosted the
Speaker 1: Mighty Duck post game Duck calls million years ago. Alright,
Speaker 1: next email, I think if I give you the email
Speaker 1: without saying who sent it, you will know if you've
Speaker 1: been listening to this podcast that someone who left the
Speaker 1: podcast because of Gascon has returned to the podcast. That's right.
Speaker 1: Give it up now for Helen and Stu in Palmetto Bay, Florida.
Speaker 1: They are back. That's right. Ding Dong the David Gascon
Speaker 1: which is gone. Email reads from Helen and Stu. We
Speaker 1: have Ben's back, they write, Gascon should have apologized. We
Speaker 1: know people, Ding Dong, gascone is gone. Guescon is gone,
Speaker 1: but thank you Helen and Stu. I wondered what happened
Speaker 1: you now, you guys had sent me an email. Uh
Speaker 1: And I actually wrote back to one of your last emails,
Speaker 1: and I don't think you use that email address anymore
Speaker 1: because I never got a response, although it did not
Speaker 1: bounce back. I I was checking in on Helen and
Speaker 1: stupid they did not right back. I was very offended, uh,
Speaker 1: Andy writes in He's lives in southern California. Andy says
Speaker 1: he still lives near the Tommy's in Hollywood and Hobo Paradise.
Speaker 1: Yeah that is I mean, I look around there, and
Speaker 1: what are you doing in my swamp? Yeah, that's a
Speaker 1: swamp of really hard scrabble, hard scrabble territory there. That
Speaker 1: is not not good, not the good at all. Anyway,
Speaker 1: the message continues from Andy. He says, Ben, have you
Speaker 1: considered replacing David Gagon with Penny Hardaway, a Penny Hardaway
Speaker 1: style little penny named Little Benny. I like this email
Speaker 1: continues he can co host Benny Versus the Penny the
Speaker 1: Fifth Hour and make occasional appearances on the radio show.
Speaker 1: This is a good idea. Who owns little Penny? Somebody's
Speaker 1: got to own the Little Penny. But if I called
Speaker 1: it little Benny, and I said it was satire that
Speaker 1: would be allowed. I think satire is allowed, right, I
Speaker 1: believe that's I'm not lawyer. I play one on the radio.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure I'll have to look that up. That
Speaker 1: that's a lot. I have to look at that. Uh Andy,
Speaker 1: the email continue says, come on, can't you see it?
Speaker 1: Get a little penny off eBay, change the jersey to
Speaker 1: a Costco flannel at a newsboy hat and glasses and
Speaker 1: higher an intern to handle the voiceover the v O.
Speaker 1: There you go. That's a great idea, Andy, and I
Speaker 1: I should actually look at it. I wonder how much
Speaker 1: it costs to buy a little penny, right, and then
Speaker 1: I of course have to check with the lawyers to
Speaker 1: find out, and then the loyals will say, hey, you're
Speaker 1: not you can't do that. But assuming I could, that's
Speaker 1: a good idea. I'd be a funny bit. Anthony from Manchester,
Speaker 1: New Hampshire, writes in has some radio friends that I
Speaker 1: worked with in Boston that live in New Hampshire for
Speaker 1: financial reasons. Anyway, Anthony says, I want your advice on something.
Speaker 1: My employer has lifted their mask mandate only if you
Speaker 1: are vaccinated, so I have a co worker who now
Speaker 1: doesn't wear a mask and his breath smells like ass. Uh,
Speaker 1: Anthony says personally, would you say something? All right? So, Anthony,
Speaker 1: I am an introvert, So I in my head, I
Speaker 1: would be m effing this particular human being. I would
Speaker 1: be thinking really mean things about this person and would
Speaker 1: be cursing up a storm. But would I actually say
Speaker 1: any of that to them? Uh? No, I would not.
Speaker 1: I'll tell you why. There's a couple of reasons. Obviously.
Speaker 1: The biggest is I'm an introvert, and so I try
Speaker 1: not to engage in any kind of small talk be
Speaker 1: that can backfire you, backfire on you in a very
Speaker 1: ugly way. And you know, and I know, especially in
Speaker 1: this age of activism, where there is no small indeed
Speaker 1: undone uh that that cannot be taken to hr And
Speaker 1: then the next thing you know, you are dealing with
Speaker 1: a giant mess, right, and uh, you just wish you
Speaker 1: could go up to that person and say, you know,
Speaker 1: cover your mouth, how about some mouth wash, how about
Speaker 1: your brush, your teeth, Shut the funk up? Okay, shut
Speaker 1: the fuck up. Now what you could do, Anthony, is
Speaker 1: for the Christmas holidays coming up. You could buy one
Speaker 1: of those high end um uh toothbrushes, right, why do
Speaker 1: they call it a toothbrush on a teeth brush? It's
Speaker 1: very odd anyway, the toothbrush thing. You can buy one
Speaker 1: of those more expensive toothbrushes, like an electric one. They're
Speaker 1: kind of pricey, and as I suggest in or mouthwash,
Speaker 1: you could do that. Like if you were to approach
Speaker 1: this person, you've got to do a cost benefit analysis.
Speaker 1: Is the breath that foul that toxic where you wish
Speaker 1: you were who d n e yes and you could
Speaker 1: make it all vanish and all go away? Or is
Speaker 1: it tolerable enough where you could spray something in the
Speaker 1: air and make it better. Now, we've all been around
Speaker 1: people that have bo that have issues, and it's not
Speaker 1: not a comforable thing. But to answer a question, I
Speaker 1: would not be the person to do it because I'm
Speaker 1: an introvert. And I also even if I were that
Speaker 1: annoyed by it to bring it up to their face,
Speaker 1: I would be concerned that they would then weaponize that
Speaker 1: and then look to turn me in and rap me
Speaker 1: in to hr and then it becomes a back and
Speaker 1: forth situation and it's political bullshit. Yeah, that happens in
Speaker 1: the office all the time, right that you hear that
Speaker 1: all the time. And again the age we live in now,
Speaker 1: people are encouraged. Back in the old days, it was
Speaker 1: like you got a problem, address it. You know, you
Speaker 1: got an issue, address it. Now, like I'm talking about
Speaker 1: face to face, employee to employee, man to man, Manda,
Speaker 1: woman has grown ups. But in these days you can't
Speaker 1: really get away with it because people start screaming yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's uh, it's not good. And then somebody has
Speaker 1: a panic attack. I'm in danger, yeah, and it's just
Speaker 1: a big mess. Alright, moving on, Yes we do. We
Speaker 1: have more mail. John the jailer from Pennsylvania rights and
Speaker 1: he says, what's what's your all time best Al Bundy
Speaker 1: athletic moment? Mine was a goal line hit before halftime
Speaker 1: in the ninth grade. Well, one of my great memories. Also,
Speaker 1: just like you, John, I was in ninth grade. I
Speaker 1: was a freshman in high school. I was playing left
Speaker 1: tackle and I was so much bigger than the other
Speaker 1: defensive players that we ran the same running play and
Speaker 1: the running back at our school, this guy named Scott,
Speaker 1: running just behind my block, set a freshman record for
Speaker 1: rushing yards, But it was pretty much just because I
Speaker 1: pancaked the kids that weighed like a hundred and seventy
Speaker 1: pounds less than I did. Not that I was the
Speaker 1: most athletic, mind you, but I dominated. And then of
Speaker 1: course in little league when I was Benny the Bopper
Speaker 1: and I hit one of the furthest home runs in
Speaker 1: the history of my little league. Uh. And I was
Speaker 1: ahead of my time as a ball player, all right,
Speaker 1: I was. I was ahead of my time. Now what
Speaker 1: do I mean by that ahead of my time? I
Speaker 1: think baseball. And when I was a kid, baseball was
Speaker 1: about batting average, getting on base small ball, that was
Speaker 1: all a big part of baseball. Now it's you swing
Speaker 1: from the heels, right, So when you go to a
Speaker 1: ball game, it's ike out or home run. Right, it's
Speaker 1: like charge just like that. So uh. But back in
Speaker 1: the day, I verily, very rarely made contact. But I
Speaker 1: didn't make contact a few times, and when I did,
Speaker 1: because of the size of me as a human being
Speaker 1: in the metal bats that we use, hit some major
Speaker 1: league size home runs in literal league, but one in particular,
Speaker 1: and I was playing for the Oakland A's at the time.
Speaker 1: I had the green A's jersey on and hit a bomb.
Speaker 1: Also got I believe more than one hit off a
Speaker 1: guy Hunter who I didn't even know at the time.
Speaker 1: He was on a different little league team, and I'm
Speaker 1: still friends with him now all these years later. And
Speaker 1: part of the reason he actually I went to high
Speaker 1: school with him too, But one of the reasons I
Speaker 1: owned him, and I didn't own very many people, but
Speaker 1: I owned him. And then, of course, as you know,
Speaker 1: John the Jailer. Another Al Bundy moment at a media
Speaker 1: game at Dodger Stadium, hitting a ball off the wall
Speaker 1: that would have been a home run. I used a
Speaker 1: Corey Snyder wouldn't bat. If I had used a metal bat,
Speaker 1: it would have been a home run. Didn't do it.
Speaker 1: Bad job by me. R J in Sanna Tonio is
Speaker 1: next and he says, what's your go to dish to
Speaker 1: make for Thanksgiving? Smoke? Yeah, No, that's not it, that's Coop's.
Speaker 1: Actually that's Coops. That's a who hit that button. That's
Speaker 1: a bad job by them. Uh no, uh the the
Speaker 1: r J. It's weird. My mom loved turkey. That was
Speaker 1: her favorite meal. So when we were a kid, any
Speaker 1: big event, like any big accomplishment in school, birthdays, special
Speaker 1: events for the family. Turkey that was my mom's go to.
Speaker 1: She loved it, so Thanksgiving was just another turkey eating experience.
Speaker 1: She bought a bigger bird for for Thanksgiving. But I
Speaker 1: don't actually eat that much turkey even on Thanksgiving. Not
Speaker 1: that I really celebrate much Thanksgiving anymore because I'm usually
Speaker 1: working and I might get a leftover turkey sandwich slobbered
Speaker 1: in mayonnaise or something like that, which I like, or
Speaker 1: garlic paste. Um. But Thanksgiving good stuffing, well made stuffing,
Speaker 1: outstanding cranberries. That's something my mom loved. Also, I still
Speaker 1: love cranbers. I don't eat cranberries very often. In all
Speaker 1: the desserts, the apple pie, the pumpkin pie, the banana
Speaker 1: cream pie. Uh, there's a pie here, there, pie everywhere.
Speaker 1: It's so good. Next up is Randy in North Hollywood.
Speaker 1: He says, why is David gascon or gag On such
Speaker 1: a smug prick? Well, that's not very nice. No. I
Speaker 1: get along with gascon I do, and I wish you
Speaker 1: could have continued with the podcast, but he had some
Speaker 1: other of things that were more important, and I get it,
Speaker 1: and he just he's kind of tired of the financial
Speaker 1: setup and all that, so he left the podcast. I
Speaker 1: don't blame him, uh, but you know the reason he
Speaker 1: is a smug. He is smug. I don't know about
Speaker 1: the prick part. West of the four oh five. Okay, yeah,
Speaker 1: West of the four oh five. That's all you need
Speaker 1: to know. And uh over on this side of the
Speaker 1: four oh five, Man of the people, Man of the people.
Speaker 1: On the other side, pig, pig, dog whatever, spider pig,
Speaker 1: that's right. Can you thing from that's right? No, we can't.
Speaker 1: He's a pig. Look he is watch out, watch out
Speaker 1: for that. Uh, this one. I don't know who sent
Speaker 1: this one in because they don't think they signed their name.
Speaker 1: Asked that stinking genius guy he loves the Mallard militia. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: sticking genius, big fan, big fan. Uh, the man that
Speaker 1: ran away from filling in on the overnight show valuable
Speaker 1: national sports talk radio four hundred plus radio stations. We
Speaker 1: are the most cleared show on Fox Sports Radio because
Speaker 1: not because I'm good, not I'm not saying that, but
Speaker 1: it's the time slot. When you're on overnight, you are
Speaker 1: on more radio stations than anyone else at the radio
Speaker 1: station and stinking genius. My my guy Arnie who's been
Speaker 1: on the podcast, not a not a fan because of
Speaker 1: because of you. In the Mallard Militia, Mr Avalanche writes
Speaker 1: in from Oakland, California, says, Hey, Ben, I wanted to
Speaker 1: ask you two questions. Will you guys ever consider doing
Speaker 1: teasers in benny versus the penny? And how do you
Speaker 1: play teasers? Like, say the spread is Jets plus seven
Speaker 1: against say the Rams, but the teaser is thirteen? Does
Speaker 1: this change how you bet? Uh? Well, Mr Avalanche, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have played teasers. I try to avoid ta teasers
Speaker 1: and parlay's because it's generally a sucker bet. But I'm
Speaker 1: more inclined to bet a teaser than I am a parlay.
Speaker 1: You don't get the same bang for your buck. But
Speaker 1: I am a underdog player. There is the chalk player
Speaker 1: that plays the favorites and there's the underdog player. I
Speaker 1: leaned towards the dog, all things being equal. So the
Speaker 1: way I would play a teaser and you mentioned, uh,
Speaker 1: the Rams for example, Uh, you know Rams and Jets
Speaker 1: to say it was plus seven, I would be more
Speaker 1: inclined to take the third team points rather than the
Speaker 1: one point. Now, there are exceptions to that rule, and
Speaker 1: if it's a really terrible team, a really horrible team
Speaker 1: that doesn't have their quarterback and it is missing several
Speaker 1: skill players, then I am more inclined to take the
Speaker 1: lesser point spread. But so many of these NFL games
Speaker 1: over the years are decided by eight points or less.
Speaker 1: If you're getting over ten points, you're in really a
Speaker 1: good shape. What I have learned, Mr. Avalanche, from betting
Speaker 1: teasers back in the day. Typically what would happen is
Speaker 1: you do a three team teaser and you'd win to
Speaker 1: no problem, and then all of a sudden, surprised motherfucker. Yeah,
Speaker 1: some team that should have won by twenty eight points
Speaker 1: ends up uh, their quarterback gets hurt, the coach has
Speaker 1: a day off, and the next thing you know, it's
Speaker 1: not good and all that, and sometimes that stuff will
Speaker 1: even happen in the postseason way off. Yeah, it does
Speaker 1: happen in the playoffs. But there's a monster thing to
Speaker 1: the monster teaser, which is ten points that that they'll
Speaker 1: give you. But it's hard enough to win one game.
Speaker 1: What you should do, it's all money management. The key
Speaker 1: to gambling. You gotta go into gambling knowing you're gonna
Speaker 1: lose money, and if you win money, boy, that's great.
Speaker 1: So that's a big thing. But the other point money management.
Speaker 1: I learned when I got into sports betting back in
Speaker 1: the day from some of the older guys that pulled
Speaker 1: me aside, say hey, you know, I was betting teasers
Speaker 1: and parlay's, and like, what do you do? So if
Speaker 1: you don't have if you want to win a lot
Speaker 1: of money, play a lottery or something like that, sucker's bet.
Speaker 1: What you do is you pick an odd number, so
Speaker 1: you either bet one game, you bet three games or
Speaker 1: five games, or whatever your bank roll can afford. Typically
Speaker 1: the numbers three, but sometimes people a bit more, and
Speaker 1: that the more games you bet, the harder it gets
Speaker 1: because you have to get more games right. So the
Speaker 1: sweet spot would be three, and if you can get
Speaker 1: two out of three right, you'll make money. You're not
Speaker 1: gonna make a lot of money, but it's just a
Speaker 1: it's a habit. It's a it's a hobby rather not
Speaker 1: a habit. And if it's a habit and you like
Speaker 1: doing it from time to time and you have the
Speaker 1: money and you can afford to lose a little bit
Speaker 1: of money, there's nothing wrong with it. But my advice
Speaker 1: would be to avoid teasers and parlays. But if you
Speaker 1: were to bet, I would bet. I would bet teasers,
Speaker 1: and I would be more inclined to take the points,
Speaker 1: and I would Actually what I would do is I
Speaker 1: bet games that have smaller point spreads where the casino
Speaker 1: thinks the games are gonna be closer, and then I
Speaker 1: would end up betting that uh to end up whoever
Speaker 1: the underdog is at three point line, I get nine.
Speaker 1: And if I'm getting a game at nine where the
Speaker 1: casino thinks it's gonna be within the margin of three,
Speaker 1: give or take a couple of points, I feel like
Speaker 1: I've got more of an advantage than if I took
Speaker 1: a seven point underdog and made it thirteen. Now maybe
Speaker 1: that's just my head and there's no truth in that
Speaker 1: at all, but that's how I look at it, and
Speaker 1: I am using some Mallar math on that. Be sure
Speaker 1: to catch live editions of The Ben Maller Show weekdays
Speaker 1: at two am Eastern Pacific. All right, we'll keep going
Speaker 1: with the mail. Calm down, Joe and Darcy in Florida
Speaker 1: right in and say, has William Shatner's recent trip to
Speaker 1: the edge of space mellowed him out in a way
Speaker 1: to finally put an end to your several year feud.
Speaker 1: Did he ever figure out that you don't work for ESPN?
Speaker 1: Or is he still calling you? Are calling for you
Speaker 1: to be fired at ESPN? Inquiring minds want to oh,
Speaker 1: Code of the Cat still sucks from Joe and Darcy
Speaker 1: in Florida. So Joe and Darcy, Uh, you bring up
Speaker 1: a great memory. One of the really great accomplishments of
Speaker 1: my time at Fox Sports Radio was the war with
Speaker 1: William Shatner on social media, the spats with shots where
Speaker 1: he blocked me, he started blocking everyone on Twitter, and
Speaker 1: it led to the crescendo where William Shatner contacted ESPN
Speaker 1: corporate on social media to attempt to get me to
Speaker 1: fire and get me fired. And the funniest part about that,
Speaker 1: which I still la fat, is the fact that someone
Speaker 1: from ESPN in Bristol, Connecticut, uh said they responded to
Speaker 1: William shatter and said, hey, uh we we that person
Speaker 1: does not work at our company. Shut Yeah, sorry about that,
Speaker 1: and uh, I can only imagine the reaction of Mr Shatner. Yeah,
Speaker 1: a lot of that and not not happy at all
Speaker 1: at all, But that was hilarious and if you missed it,
Speaker 1: Joe and Darcy, William Shatner, this is hilarious. He does this.
Speaker 1: He has this horse charity in Burbank here in the
Speaker 1: l A area, and so he's burying to the horses
Speaker 1: and treating Horry whatever. So he has fundraisers a couple
Speaker 1: of times a year, as I understand it. And one
Speaker 1: of the fundraisers a couple of years ago, I think
Speaker 1: it was William Shatter, had on there that if you
Speaker 1: cut a check for like I think it was five
Speaker 1: hundred bucks, it might have been less than that, might
Speaker 1: have been more than I think it was five as
Speaker 1: I remember the story. But whatever it was, if you
Speaker 1: write a check, somebody can get me. Me being William
Speaker 1: Shatner who put this up to unblock Ben Maller, Me
Speaker 1: talking to the third person. So somebody who wasn't even
Speaker 1: part of the Mallard militia ponied up the money, like
Speaker 1: paid the money, so this particular drama would end. It
Speaker 1: was a trekky. It was a trekky. One of the
Speaker 1: William Shatner fans who had seen all this victriol between
Speaker 1: foot soldiers of the Mallard militia going at it with
Speaker 1: the trek eas and said, hey, wait a minute, let's
Speaker 1: put an end to this. And so Shatner unblocked me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't follow me on Twitter, but he did send
Speaker 1: me a message at the end of I believe that
Speaker 1: was our last interaction. Carlos in Houston writes, and he says,
Speaker 1: I am really going to miss the gas can on
Speaker 1: the fifth Hour, but it is what it is. Well,
Speaker 1: you know, I love is it is what it is
Speaker 1: as a phrase. I live for that. Carlos in the
Speaker 1: den of an equity uh sports and equity in Houston.
Speaker 1: He says, now that he's gone, will you be cooking
Speaker 1: that frozen steak in the freezer? And I think Danny
Speaker 1: G or Roberto should be your new partner in crime. Well,
Speaker 1: thank you for the suggestions, and Roberto or Danny g
Speaker 1: would be a wonderful addition to the Fifth Hour. We
Speaker 1: will keep you posted, Stay tuned, same Bat time, same
Speaker 1: bat channel. On the podcast, Dave in Toronto writes, and
Speaker 1: he says, would who would you say was a great
Speaker 1: tragedy in their career? Great college player? Non proper recognition
Speaker 1: due to bias, and then he named three Canadian football players,
Speaker 1: Chuck Ealie, Condredge Holloway and Johnny Rogers. So the way
Speaker 1: I will answer this day, the only one I recognize,
Speaker 1: the only name I recognize is Johnny Rogers. He won
Speaker 1: a Heisman Trophy back in the day. And with all
Speaker 1: due respect to the other two gentlemen, I do not
Speaker 1: recognize their names. I don't remember their their past and
Speaker 1: all that. So the answer, by default, Dave in Toronto,
Speaker 1: is Johnny Rogers, who won a Heisman Trophy. If he's
Speaker 1: the same Johnny Rodgers I am thinking of, and then
Speaker 1: went on to a career in the Canadian Football teague.
Speaker 1: Oh I think he also played in the NFL, but
Speaker 1: mostly the Canadian Football League. All right, that'll do it
Speaker 1: for the fifth hour podcast on a Sunday state till
Speaker 1: we might have podcast on Thanksgiving weekend. I will keep
Speaker 1: you updated on social media. Remember if I post something
Speaker 1: on the Facebook page Ben Maller's show asking for questions,
Speaker 1: then obviously obviously we will have another mail bag in
Speaker 1: a full weekend of podcast. But I'll probably put a
Speaker 1: Twitter pull up see what people want where we should
Speaker 1: do the podcast or not. But have a great rest
Speaker 1: of your Sunday. Enjoy the football today and remember we
Speaker 1: will be back at eleven pm Pacific two am Monday
Speaker 1: morning in the East, and we'll have a brand new
Speaker 1: edition of the Ben Maller Radio Show. And slap that
Speaker 1: five star button on this podcast. We will catch you
Speaker 1: next time.