1
00:00:00,080 --> 00:00:02,040
Speaker 1: Peace of the planet, Charlamagne to God here and as

2
00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:04,400
Speaker 1: we come closer to closing out this year, I just

3
00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:06,120
Speaker 1: want to say thank you for tuning it into the

4
00:00:06,120 --> 00:00:08,640
Speaker 1: Black Effect podcast Network. There have been so many great

5
00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:10,720
Speaker 1: moments over the past year. Take a listen to some

6
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,480
Speaker 1: of those captivating moments in this special best of episode.

7
00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,080
Speaker 2: So we do have a voice note today, however, it's

8
00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:20,919
Speaker 2: an update. I love when I get updates because sometimes

9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:24,759
Speaker 2: I'll be thinking people don't come back and like update

10
00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:28,080
Speaker 2: me because I'll be too hard on them, or they

11
00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:31,600
Speaker 2: didn't get the advice that they wanted, or they're offended

12
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,159
Speaker 2: by the advice or what have you. But I am

13
00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:41,200
Speaker 2: absolutely thankful and grateful for you guys updating me all

14
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,879
Speaker 2: the time. I sound a little tired because I am

15
00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,920
Speaker 2: tired child. I am sluggish as hell today, So let's

16
00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:48,919
Speaker 2: jump straight into it.

17
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,120
Speaker 3: Hey, Jes, thank you so much for giving me your

18
00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,840
Speaker 3: advice and listening to my story.

19
00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:56,560
Speaker 4: So I did exactly what you said.

20
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,560
Speaker 3: I took my well me and my best friend.

21
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:01,120
Speaker 4: We've been out to dinner and.

22
00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,000
Speaker 3: I told her how I feel about the whole situation

23
00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,840
Speaker 3: and told her you just gotta leave me out of it.

24
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:08,160
Speaker 3: And she was respectful of that, and then she asked me,

25
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,920
Speaker 3: is that why I have been pulling away from her?

26
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:13,679
Speaker 3: And I had to say yes.

27
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,880
Speaker 4: She was a little hurt by that, and I understood.

28
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:20,520
Speaker 3: I ended up feeling bad after we left, and I

29
00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:22,160
Speaker 3: text her and I just, you know, let her know

30
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,640
Speaker 3: that I love you at the end of the day

31
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:26,080
Speaker 3: and I only want the best for you. And it

32
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,240
Speaker 3: just hurts me to see you have to go through this,

33
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:30,240
Speaker 3: So I appreciate your advice.

34
00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:33,039
Speaker 4: Next question would be, I.

35
00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,039
Speaker 3: Heard you say I have to elevate my friend group.

36
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:37,119
Speaker 3: So how do I elevate my friend group?

37
00:01:37,640 --> 00:01:39,840
Speaker 4: Right? These girls I've been rocking.

38
00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,320
Speaker 3: With for ten plus years since high school, some even longer,

39
00:01:43,920 --> 00:01:47,400
Speaker 3: So I don't want to just abandon them because they

40
00:01:47,480 --> 00:01:53,080
Speaker 3: make shitty choices in men, because lesbie real, they all do.

41
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,400
Speaker 4: I have another friend.

42
00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,960
Speaker 3: In North or South Carolina and she's been dealing with

43
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,640
Speaker 3: the same dude and his BS for about the same

44
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:03,720
Speaker 3: time my other friend, and I understand if I have to,

45
00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,560
Speaker 3: but I'm thirty years old, so making new friends is

46
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,600
Speaker 3: kind of hard for me. I'm a thirty year old

47
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:10,000
Speaker 3: Aquarius introvert, so.

48
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:14,400
Speaker 2: You know how that gos ma'am so.

49
00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:17,000
Speaker 3: Just I guess I'm asking you give me advice, give

50
00:02:17,040 --> 00:02:19,160
Speaker 3: me advice on how I can help them.

51
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,720
Speaker 4: Elevate without its feeling like a job. Though without it

52
00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:22,560
Speaker 4: feeling like a job.

53
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:27,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, because you're not responsible or obligated to help

54
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,440
Speaker 2: somebody elevate, you.

55
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,160
Speaker 3: Know, because at the end of the day, I just

56
00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,920
Speaker 3: want these girls to be happy and know their full potential.

57
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:37,920
Speaker 3: But I'm not going to keep repeating myself. And like

58
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:44,360
Speaker 3: I said in the first in the first message, I

59
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,040
Speaker 3: don't want to keep talking to a brick wall either.

60
00:02:47,919 --> 00:02:51,560
Speaker 3: But also I will feel bad just you know, abandoning,

61
00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:55,160
Speaker 3: abandoning them. Yeah, so if you give me your advice, yes,

62
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,079
Speaker 3: that'll be helpful.

63
00:02:56,639 --> 00:02:57,520
Speaker 4: Again, I love you.

64
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:01,119
Speaker 3: I respect everything you're doing and keep going doing it well.

65
00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:03,840
Speaker 4: Thank you so much, boo, I appreciate that update.

66
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,680
Speaker 2: Okay, So basically, guys, this was a story a couple

67
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:10,800
Speaker 2: episodes ago where this girl had wrote me telling me

68
00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:13,600
Speaker 2: that basically she had to pull away from her friend

69
00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:17,880
Speaker 2: a little bit because you know, she was just constantly,

70
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:22,600
Speaker 2: constantly talking about her relationship to her well venting I'm

71
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:27,519
Speaker 2: sorry about how wrong she's being done in her relationship,

72
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:29,480
Speaker 2: but she keeps going back she's not gonna leave, and

73
00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:33,440
Speaker 2: the friend will give her advice, advice, advice, advice, and

74
00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,920
Speaker 2: she just wouldn't take it, you know what I mean.

75
00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:39,240
Speaker 2: And she's still staying and still going back, and so

76
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:42,800
Speaker 2: basically she just wants her friends to know their worth. Now,

77
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:47,520
Speaker 2: I did tell you to elevate your group of friends,

78
00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:51,600
Speaker 2: not to abandon them as such. I know it kind

79
00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:53,160
Speaker 2: of sounds like that's what I told you to do

80
00:03:53,280 --> 00:03:56,520
Speaker 2: for sure, so I would have taken it that way

81
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:57,600
Speaker 2: as well.

82
00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,920
Speaker 4: But the only reason that I had told you to.

83
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,680
Speaker 2: You know, maybe it's not for you to get some

84
00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,040
Speaker 2: new friends or you know, to elevate, because it started

85
00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,280
Speaker 2: to bother you and your everyday mental and how and

86
00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 2: because you are so loyal and so connected to your girls,

87
00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying.

88
00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:14,840
Speaker 4: What hurts them hurts you.

89
00:04:15,560 --> 00:04:21,000
Speaker 2: And if you are going through this unnecessarily and it

90
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,560
Speaker 2: really has no direct ties to you and how you're

91
00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,080
Speaker 2: living and how and your worth, because you know your worth,

92
00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,919
Speaker 2: you know what I mean, then that's kind of a

93
00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:31,760
Speaker 2: setback for you.

94
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:33,120
Speaker 4: That that's kind of draining for you.

95
00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:35,320
Speaker 2: And I can see where it even leads to like

96
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:38,440
Speaker 2: stress that's like secondhand stress that you're getting, you know,

97
00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:42,080
Speaker 2: from a situation you ain't even in. So that's why

98
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:44,120
Speaker 2: I told you that, you know, as it pertains to

99
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,560
Speaker 2: your mental you know. But I don't want you to

100
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:50,200
Speaker 2: abandon your friends, like you said if we if we

101
00:04:50,320 --> 00:04:54,400
Speaker 2: had to abandon our friends for making hord choices and men,

102
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,800
Speaker 2: then none of us would have friends. Almost none of

103
00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,560
Speaker 2: us would have friends, because that happens. That happens until

104
00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,839
Speaker 2: you actually find the one you want. I had poor

105
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:03,719
Speaker 2: tastan men didn't even know, you know what I mean.

106
00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,600
Speaker 2: But that's all a part of dating and figuring out

107
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,960
Speaker 2: yourself and what you will take and what you won't take,

108
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,840
Speaker 2: and what your standards are and and all that type

109
00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,440
Speaker 2: of stuff, you know. So that's pretty much why you

110
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:17,320
Speaker 2: sound like you are very fed up and tired of

111
00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,000
Speaker 2: being sucked into somebody else's bullshit where it was starting

112
00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,760
Speaker 2: to bother you. But if that is not the case,

113
00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,520
Speaker 2: and you're willing to still be around like I said,

114
00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:30,760
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure I did say something like also, you

115
00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 2: can pull back just from that part of the relationship

116
00:05:34,480 --> 00:05:36,840
Speaker 2: of friendship, you know. I don't want to hear anything

117
00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:38,200
Speaker 2: about your man. I don't want to hear anything about

118
00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:39,520
Speaker 2: this because you're not going to do anything but go

119
00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:44,120
Speaker 2: back so we can we can actually we can still

120
00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:47,040
Speaker 2: have this friendship and be sisters and we can still

121
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:50,200
Speaker 2: have our sisterhood and everything. I just don't want to

122
00:05:50,200 --> 00:05:53,840
Speaker 2: be involved with that that part of it because I

123
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,599
Speaker 2: want you to see it worth But you're just not

124
00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:57,760
Speaker 2: getting it, you know, and you'll get it on your

125
00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:00,560
Speaker 2: own time. When a woman gets fed up, it's fed up.

126
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:03,040
Speaker 2: Maybe she's not tired yet. And your other friend that

127
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,680
Speaker 2: you just spoke of as as well, they're not tired yet.

128
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,119
Speaker 2: You can't make them be tired of what they're going through,

129
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,760
Speaker 2: you know. All you got to do is just be

130
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,960
Speaker 2: that listening ear until you don't want to hear it

131
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:14,320
Speaker 2: no more.

132
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,560
Speaker 4: Then you are.

133
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,640
Speaker 2: Absolutely at liberty to say, y'all, I'm sick of this shit,

134
00:06:18,720 --> 00:06:20,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear this anymore. Until you are

135
00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:22,760
Speaker 2: able to stand on your own three feet, put your

136
00:06:22,760 --> 00:06:24,960
Speaker 2: foot down, and get out of that relationship because it's

137
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,400
Speaker 2: not doing you any good as a friend on the

138
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,920
Speaker 2: outside looking in, it's not doing you any good. You're

139
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:33,840
Speaker 2: more stressed than happy. Then you just have to proceed

140
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:42,560
Speaker 2: with other factors of the friendship, you know, So I have.

141
00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,120
Speaker 5: Been married with my husband for about fifteen years now.

142
00:06:45,360 --> 00:06:47,920
Speaker 5: We were high school sweethearts and even after that, we

143
00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,880
Speaker 5: were the golden couple. Ever since we got married, we

144
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:53,640
Speaker 5: would take trips at least six times a year, always

145
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:56,159
Speaker 5: date each other, and just live the life a married

146
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 5: couple should really have. This man has loved me unconditionally

147
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,360
Speaker 5: through everything. About ten years ago, in thirty now, I

148
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:05,640
Speaker 5: figured out that I would not be able to have kids,

149
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,640
Speaker 5: and it crushed me. But all he did was build

150
00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,720
Speaker 5: me up and reassure me that it's okay and never

151
00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:14,760
Speaker 5: left my side. Up until recently, everything was perfect. I

152
00:07:14,840 --> 00:07:18,120
Speaker 5: noticed a change in his attitude. It wasn't nonchalant, but

153
00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 5: it just feels like that.

154
00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,480
Speaker 4: He's just putting up with me. I don't know, maybe

155
00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 4: he is getting bored.

156
00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,640
Speaker 5: It took me by surprise because we literally switched things

157
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:28,680
Speaker 5: up and tried to keep the relationship spontaneous. So I'm

158
00:07:28,760 --> 00:07:31,600
Speaker 5: just confused on the whole switch in character. I also

159
00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:33,640
Speaker 5: tell you the story about me not being able to

160
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:36,880
Speaker 5: have kids because he did recently have a conversation about it,

161
00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,680
Speaker 5: and I did pour my heart out to him about

162
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,360
Speaker 5: not having kids. Are being able to give him one

163
00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,000
Speaker 5: and he did reassure me. But maybe this is the

164
00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:46,760
Speaker 5: reason why he's been acting a different way. Maybe I

165
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:48,760
Speaker 5: did put the thought in his head that he will

166
00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:50,800
Speaker 5: never have kids as long as he's married to me.

167
00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:54,040
Speaker 5: I could be overthinking, but that's literally my only theory

168
00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:56,040
Speaker 5: when it comes to it. I don't believe he's a

169
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,480
Speaker 5: cheater or would do anything to hurt me, and we

170
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,760
Speaker 5: have great communication, so that's why I'm leaning towards this.

171
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:04,080
Speaker 5: Maybe he doesn't want to bring him back up so

172
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,240
Speaker 5: I won't feel the way, or maybe it could just

173
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:06,960
Speaker 5: be something else.

174
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:10,080
Speaker 4: Girl, I don't know what do you think? Damn?

175
00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:14,360
Speaker 2: All right, Well, first of all, you've been married to

176
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,400
Speaker 2: this guy for a decade now. Like you say, it

177
00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:21,600
Speaker 2: started off really really really really great.

178
00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:25,200
Speaker 4: You know, Lover's Lane so amazing.

179
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,560
Speaker 2: Y'all were in love. There was nothing going on. He

180
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,720
Speaker 2: kept reassuring you. Now, you told him in the beginning

181
00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:32,160
Speaker 2: that you were unable to have children, and he still

182
00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,480
Speaker 2: fell in love with you, you know, in spite of all

183
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:38,000
Speaker 2: that you know, and you fell in love with him.

184
00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:40,839
Speaker 4: Has he ever told you that he really wants kids?

185
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:45,880
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously you can't, but it still matters if

186
00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,679
Speaker 2: he wants to. Has that ever been a conversation? Has

187
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:51,960
Speaker 2: he ever said, well, this is something that I want.

188
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:53,960
Speaker 2: I really really do want children, you know, because there

189
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:57,520
Speaker 2: are other ways that you guys can have kids, you know,

190
00:08:57,720 --> 00:09:01,319
Speaker 2: other than vaginally. You know, there's adoption, There's so many

191
00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:04,000
Speaker 2: other ways. You get what I'm saying, Like, is this

192
00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,760
Speaker 2: a situation where you can't do in vitro?

193
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:10,200
Speaker 4: Do you not believe in that? Like not to get

194
00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:11,000
Speaker 4: I guess too.

195
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:13,440
Speaker 2: Personal because if you would have wanted me to know,

196
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,240
Speaker 2: you would have sold me. So let's just scrap that.

197
00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:18,800
Speaker 2: But have you guys ever considered adoption, you know? Or

198
00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:22,400
Speaker 2: is that something that you just never entertained? Because if

199
00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,600
Speaker 2: the child doesn't come biologically from you or him, then

200
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:29,120
Speaker 2: I could understand if that was an issue, you know

201
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:31,400
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like I do understand. But then there

202
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,800
Speaker 2: is things like surrogacy, Like have you ever considered a

203
00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:36,240
Speaker 2: surrogate somebody to.

204
00:09:36,240 --> 00:09:37,240
Speaker 4: Carry a baby for you?

205
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,200
Speaker 2: I know, these things get pricey, However, they are alternate

206
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:46,680
Speaker 2: routes that you can take if you really do want children. Now,

207
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:50,079
Speaker 2: as far as his behavior, him just switching totally switching.

208
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:55,400
Speaker 2: Usually with situations like this, you see red flags. You

209
00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:00,760
Speaker 2: see not a sudden change of pattern, but you'll see

210
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:04,520
Speaker 2: a build up. You know what I'm saying. Because the

211
00:10:04,559 --> 00:10:07,600
Speaker 2: fact that he just switched that could be something else.

212
00:10:07,679 --> 00:10:10,720
Speaker 2: I mean, it could have something to do with you

213
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:13,280
Speaker 2: not being able to have children, but it also could

214
00:10:13,320 --> 00:10:16,560
Speaker 2: be something else, because that's a deeper situation, you not

215
00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:18,760
Speaker 2: being able to have children. I know we have to

216
00:10:18,800 --> 00:10:20,680
Speaker 2: think about that every day, especially if he wants to

217
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,840
Speaker 2: be a dad. If he desires to be a father,

218
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,079
Speaker 2: then yes, that's something that he would have to think

219
00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:25,800
Speaker 2: about every day.

220
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,760
Speaker 4: And that's just not a switch that you flip.

221
00:10:28,080 --> 00:10:31,280
Speaker 2: You get what I'm saying, So please understand, I'm not

222
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:33,960
Speaker 2: accusing him of cheating. I'm not accusing him of just

223
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,840
Speaker 2: falling out of love with you. I'm not accusing him

224
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 2: of any of those things. Only you know what I'm saying. However,

225
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,800
Speaker 2: we can't just throw away with the fact that it

226
00:10:43,840 --> 00:10:47,560
Speaker 2: may be something like that because of the sudden mood change,

227
00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,480
Speaker 2: because of the sudden pattern change and all of that.

228
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,240
Speaker 4: Do you guys not.

229
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:53,680
Speaker 2: Spend as much time together? Does he seem turned off?

230
00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:56,480
Speaker 2: Does he seem uninterested in you at times? Have you

231
00:10:56,480 --> 00:10:58,120
Speaker 2: ever set him down and talked to him about it,

232
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:00,880
Speaker 2: or are you just trying to make sure you're not

233
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,840
Speaker 2: crazy and tell another person in your situation before you

234
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:07,480
Speaker 2: do actually approach it or approach him.

235
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:08,320
Speaker 4: Let me know.

236
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:10,120
Speaker 2: Now, you let me know a lot, but it's still

237
00:11:10,120 --> 00:11:12,480
Speaker 2: a lot more I would like to know. Also, you've

238
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,079
Speaker 2: got to understand when you don't communicate. You know, when

239
00:11:15,120 --> 00:11:18,520
Speaker 2: we as women don't communicate, we kind of let things linger.

240
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:21,640
Speaker 2: Could you have been ignoring signs before he just flipped

241
00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:23,880
Speaker 2: the switch? Could you not have been paying attention this

242
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:27,240
Speaker 2: whole time? So whereas like you notice the end of

243
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,360
Speaker 2: his build up and now it's just a flip switch

244
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,319
Speaker 2: to you, like it seemed like it happened in the

245
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,160
Speaker 2: blink of an eye. Like could you take some type

246
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,679
Speaker 2: of accountability to say, now only if it's yours state?

247
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:41,960
Speaker 4: Don't take accountability for some shit that is not true.

248
00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:45,840
Speaker 2: But I'm just saying, could you have overlooked how he

249
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,720
Speaker 2: felt because he kept reassuring you. You know what I'm saying,

250
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:51,000
Speaker 2: Because listen, I just got finished talking about this on

251
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,599
Speaker 2: the last yest with the mess, actually not on the

252
00:11:53,679 --> 00:11:55,720
Speaker 2: last just fix my mess, the one that I do

253
00:11:55,760 --> 00:12:00,240
Speaker 2: on breakfast Club. A lot of people cannot tell the

254
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:04,680
Speaker 2: truth because they don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. You know,

255
00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:11,280
Speaker 2: they're sparing someone's feelings, so you oftentimes tiptoe around what

256
00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:14,600
Speaker 2: you have to say or how you're really feeling because

257
00:12:14,679 --> 00:12:17,000
Speaker 2: you don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. That's what he

258
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,480
Speaker 2: could have been doing to you, and that's what you

259
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:21,600
Speaker 2: could have been doing to him, you know, because what

260
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,880
Speaker 2: if he was never okay with you not having children,

261
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,920
Speaker 2: or what if he was okay in the earlier years

262
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,920
Speaker 2: of y'all's marriage, but then he developed such a desire

263
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:32,800
Speaker 2: to become a father and want more family, you know

264
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:36,080
Speaker 2: than just you want a family, you know, like, what

265
00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:39,080
Speaker 2: if that was the thing for him? What if that's

266
00:12:39,120 --> 00:12:41,800
Speaker 2: what he really wanted? You know, so you have to

267
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:43,839
Speaker 2: sit down and talk to him. That's your husband, that's

268
00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:46,120
Speaker 2: not your boyfriend. It's not just a little jump off.

269
00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:47,839
Speaker 2: This ain't one of the niggas on your roster. You

270
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:49,840
Speaker 2: understand what I'm saying. You don't got to hide how

271
00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:53,240
Speaker 2: you feel at all. I've been together ten years. You know,

272
00:12:53,320 --> 00:12:56,959
Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure y'all have experienced rough passions in marriages.

273
00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,440
Speaker 2: I mean, no, no marriage is perfect at all, you know,

274
00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,679
Speaker 2: so I'm pretty sure this wouldn't be the first uncomfortable

275
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,480
Speaker 2: conversation that you guys have had to have, especially the

276
00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,560
Speaker 2: elephant in the room.

277
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:11,040
Speaker 4: You're unable to have children. I imagine how hard.

278
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,240
Speaker 2: It was for you to tell him that, and how

279
00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,360
Speaker 2: hard it is if he wants to be a dance

280
00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,120
Speaker 2: or reassure you that it's okay.

281
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:18,480
Speaker 4: You get what I'm saying.

282
00:13:18,559 --> 00:13:22,600
Speaker 2: So I think you should sit down with your husband

283
00:13:22,679 --> 00:13:24,720
Speaker 2: and talk to him and fully get through with him.

284
00:13:24,760 --> 00:13:26,960
Speaker 2: And I always encourage people don't get up from their

285
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:29,199
Speaker 2: damn table until you have answers that you need.

286
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,040
Speaker 4: If that other person got to get up, so be it.

287
00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:33,640
Speaker 4: But that's what we do.

288
00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:38,240
Speaker 2: We try so hard to tiptoe and to coddle other adults,

289
00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:41,040
Speaker 2: whether we're in love with them or not, you know,

290
00:13:41,360 --> 00:13:44,560
Speaker 2: just to save and spare their feelings. No, this is

291
00:13:44,559 --> 00:13:47,240
Speaker 2: the uncomfortable part of this marriage. It has to go

292
00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:49,080
Speaker 2: here so I can get what you're feeling. If I

293
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,760
Speaker 2: got to make you feel uncomfortable to tell me the truth.

294
00:13:51,520 --> 00:13:53,600
Speaker 4: I'm gonna do that. So let me know what it

295
00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:54,760
Speaker 4: is there? Is it another woman?

296
00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,920
Speaker 2: Is it the fact that I really can't have kids

297
00:13:57,440 --> 00:13:58,960
Speaker 2: but you don't want to leave me for it because

298
00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,760
Speaker 2: you're in love with me, but you still want children?

299
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:04,559
Speaker 4: Is it? You know? Is it that I'm boring you?

300
00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:09,320
Speaker 4: Is it that our sex life has now lost spice?

301
00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:09,560
Speaker 3: Like?

302
00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:09,880
Speaker 4: Is it?

303
00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:12,240
Speaker 2: Because it could be something else. I'm not just gonna

304
00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:16,400
Speaker 2: jump straight to keating, you know? Is my communication off?

305
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,720
Speaker 2: Do you feel like I don't pay you enough attention?

306
00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,320
Speaker 4: Like? What is it?

307
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,680
Speaker 2: I've noticed a pattern, like a change in your pattern.

308
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,680
Speaker 2: You don't hold me the same, you don't look at

309
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:28,520
Speaker 2: me the same, We don't talk anymore, we don't go

310
00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,120
Speaker 2: on trips anymore. And this it seems sudden to me.

311
00:14:31,440 --> 00:14:34,040
Speaker 2: But if this is something that you've been feeling, why

312
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:38,440
Speaker 2: heaven you come to me? And right now, more importantly,

313
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,680
Speaker 2: is the right time to come to me? Because I

314
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,560
Speaker 2: notice it and it's making me feel like it's my fault.

315
00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,040
Speaker 2: Let me know what's going on.

316
00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:46,360
Speaker 4: You know, I'm in the.

317
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:49,560
Speaker 2: Dark about this, and then you should get an answer, honey,

318
00:14:49,800 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 2: But let me know. Check back in answer my question

319
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,880
Speaker 2: to y'all. Be trying to help y'all, y'all be trying

320
00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,160
Speaker 2: to leave little Juicy off the through. I don't know

321
00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,280
Speaker 2: why I just said that, y'all, be trying to leave

322
00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 2: meat off the bone.

323
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,960
Speaker 4: I'm just say that. I say, y'all been trying to

324
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:12,000
Speaker 4: leave juicy off the fird. What good evening, Jess.

325
00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:14,440
Speaker 2: First of all, I want to say congratulations, ah see

326
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,920
Speaker 2: you on getting breakfast club.

327
00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:17,640
Speaker 4: Beyond proud of you. Girl.

328
00:15:18,040 --> 00:15:20,080
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. I have been on and off

329
00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,600
Speaker 2: with my ex boyfriend for about two years. I go

330
00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:23,440
Speaker 2: in every.

331
00:15:23,240 --> 00:15:26,160
Speaker 4: Time with the same mindset that things will get better.

332
00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:28,880
Speaker 2: Because people do grow every time we're on good terms,

333
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:32,560
Speaker 2: but then it always goes downhill. I know what that

334
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,640
Speaker 2: feels like. I look at him as the love of

335
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,000
Speaker 2: my life but also my best friend. Oh me do

336
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,960
Speaker 2: me doo, so it's hard to just completely cut him

337
00:15:39,960 --> 00:15:40,680
Speaker 2: out of my life.

338
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,200
Speaker 4: I understand that.

339
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:44,800
Speaker 2: Now. For the past month, we have been talking a

340
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,720
Speaker 2: little less and even haven't been linking up as much.

341
00:15:47,920 --> 00:15:50,520
Speaker 2: So I decided to just be okay with that because

342
00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,200
Speaker 2: I still want us to remain how we are. I mean,

343
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:55,440
Speaker 2: but that's a pattern, girl, you know, as far as

344
00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:59,440
Speaker 2: our little understanding goes. He hit me up two nights

345
00:15:59,440 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 2: ago and said as he wants to talk to me,

346
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,640
Speaker 2: and immediately I got nervous but excited at the same time,

347
00:16:04,720 --> 00:16:06,800
Speaker 2: because I just didn't know what he had to say.

348
00:16:07,640 --> 00:16:09,720
Speaker 2: Just this man tells me he's been talking to somebody

349
00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:13,240
Speaker 2: and he likes where it's going, and he don't think

350
00:16:13,280 --> 00:16:16,640
Speaker 2: that we should continue to keep doing this anymore. Oh

351
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:20,560
Speaker 2: my god, my heart shattered the ag It wasn't really

352
00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 2: much that I could say, because for one, we're not together,

353
00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,520
Speaker 2: and for two, every time we try to make it work,

354
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:31,240
Speaker 2: it never does, I understand. And three, he just seemed

355
00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:34,840
Speaker 2: very solid on his decision with this. So I say

356
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,400
Speaker 2: to him, we can't continue to just be friends? Then

357
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,440
Speaker 2: I won't say something, but I'm away till I finish,

358
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:42,640
Speaker 2: and he tells me no because it wouldn't be fair

359
00:16:42,720 --> 00:16:45,840
Speaker 2: to what he has going on. And he just knows

360
00:16:46,160 --> 00:16:50,080
Speaker 2: how he is when I'm around. I took that as okay,

361
00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 2: and he still loves me. Bitch, what No, Mom, I'm sorry,

362
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,120
Speaker 2: So what do my dumb ass do?

363
00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:58,080
Speaker 4: You said it? Not me? I pulled up to his

364
00:16:58,120 --> 00:17:03,560
Speaker 4: house and paused across the street. I was just gonna.

365
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:06,199
Speaker 2: Surprise him and just try to talk to him, because Jess,

366
00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:09,520
Speaker 2: I'm just honestly not ready to let him go. That

367
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,920
Speaker 2: could have been the dumbest thing I have ever done.

368
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,280
Speaker 2: I pulled up there just to see him getting off

369
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:17,320
Speaker 2: the car with the girl. He looked happy as ever.

370
00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,920
Speaker 2: I can't even lie, so all I did was drive off.

371
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,240
Speaker 2: Thank God, it's been only two days.

372
00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,320
Speaker 4: But just knowing that.

373
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,719
Speaker 2: He's not going to be around as much and I

374
00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 2: just won't have him anymore, it's killing me. And this

375
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,080
Speaker 2: is one of the hardest things I've had to deal with.

376
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,680
Speaker 2: Seeing the love of your life happy with someone else

377
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,560
Speaker 2: when it's supposed to be you sucks. I don't really

378
00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,400
Speaker 2: have any questions for you, Jess, because this is literally

379
00:17:39,440 --> 00:17:42,680
Speaker 2: something I have to get over myself, but I would

380
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,240
Speaker 2: love for you to just give me some advice, okay,

381
00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,280
Speaker 2: well for one that makes me think of something I

382
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:51,320
Speaker 2: was just watching over the weekend. I was watching Acrimony,

383
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:54,080
Speaker 2: and that was one of the best Tyle of Parry

384
00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:57,440
Speaker 2: films that I've seen. Ragepiance and let's just give a

385
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,919
Speaker 2: big shot off to her. She killed that goddamn role man.

386
00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 2: But something happened similar in there. I mean her husband,

387
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,679
Speaker 2: you know, who became her ex husband by her own choice,

388
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:10,000
Speaker 2: eventually was the love of her life as well.

389
00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:11,080
Speaker 4: And then he.

390
00:18:10,920 --> 00:18:14,480
Speaker 2: Moved on, got rich and everything, and then he actually

391
00:18:15,080 --> 00:18:17,600
Speaker 2: got a new woman, was engaged and had a baby,

392
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,600
Speaker 2: and had given his new wife the life that you know,

393
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:24,480
Speaker 2: he had promised to give his ex wife who you know,

394
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:27,680
Speaker 2: Taraji Pensen played and she couldn't let him go. And

395
00:18:27,800 --> 00:18:29,439
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever seen that grimony, but

396
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:31,680
Speaker 2: did you see how that ended? You know, she ended

397
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:36,120
Speaker 2: up losing her mind and then also kind of sort

398
00:18:36,119 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 2: of taking her own life, you know, being killed or whatever.

399
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:41,160
Speaker 2: You know, well, she she kind of did that herself.

400
00:18:41,240 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 2: You know, she ended up dead, is the thing. And

401
00:18:44,200 --> 00:18:46,159
Speaker 2: not saying that you're gonna end up dying if you

402
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:48,720
Speaker 2: don't let it go. But you just never know to

403
00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,480
Speaker 2: what extent things can go. You pulled up over there,

404
00:18:51,520 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 2: and I'm glad you had sense enough to drive off. However,

405
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,480
Speaker 2: things could have went left and very bad for you.

406
00:18:57,480 --> 00:19:00,200
Speaker 2: You know, say she had a gun. Say you got

407
00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:01,679
Speaker 2: the car and went over there to approach him, and

408
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:04,520
Speaker 2: she had a gun and she shot you. Say she

409
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:07,520
Speaker 2: whipped your ass. You know what I'm saying, Say just whatever,

410
00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,640
Speaker 2: you know. And the guy clearly told you. You said

411
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,199
Speaker 2: he had a conversation with you in he and he

412
00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,600
Speaker 2: told you, like listen, I don't think this has been

413
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 2: going well for us, you know, and how I moved

414
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,720
Speaker 2: on with somebody and I'm actually happy where I'm at.

415
00:19:20,800 --> 00:19:22,760
Speaker 2: So I just want to let you know that this

416
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 2: can't happen anymore. I actually will say I respect his honesty.

417
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:27,960
Speaker 2: He was honest enough to tell you because he didn't

418
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,280
Speaker 2: really owe you that much because y'all weren't together. And

419
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:35,160
Speaker 2: you know, you said that that's always rule of thumb, honesty,

420
00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:36,240
Speaker 2: be open and honest.

421
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 4: That communication thing has to.

422
00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,600
Speaker 2: Always be there, because we expect these men to be

423
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 2: honest with us, and but we know that most of them,

424
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,959
Speaker 2: or you know, a lot of them are liars, you know,

425
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:48,000
Speaker 2: So when a god tells the truth, you have to

426
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,600
Speaker 2: respect him with that too, because, like I said, he

427
00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: didn't owe you that to tell you that. He was

428
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:56,000
Speaker 2: already talking to somebody and he was happy with them.

429
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,719
Speaker 2: He was happy the way things were going for you

430
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,000
Speaker 2: to come back. That was your cue to hang up.

431
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:04,040
Speaker 2: First of all, Okay, I got you because you already

432
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:05,240
Speaker 2: established the pattern.

433
00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 4: You already saw it, you already discovered it.

434
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 2: You said, you know, we've been talking a lot less lately,

435
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:11,119
Speaker 2: and we hardly ever link up anymore, you.

436
00:20:11,119 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 4: Know what I mean?

437
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:14,280
Speaker 2: But I just took it for what it was because

438
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 2: we weren't together, you know what I mean, So you

439
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,119
Speaker 2: had to already know that he was doing something anyway.

440
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,000
Speaker 2: I mean, we as women, we get these these feelings,

441
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:22,679
Speaker 2: and most of the time we're not wrong. You know,

442
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:24,600
Speaker 2: we're not right all the time, but a lot of

443
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,040
Speaker 2: times we are, especially if you feel it. You know,

444
00:20:27,680 --> 00:20:30,560
Speaker 2: you knew that you could already tell by his patterns

445
00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:32,920
Speaker 2: in the switch ups, right, and let's just.

446
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:33,560
Speaker 4: Call it what it is.

447
00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:36,879
Speaker 2: You were just somebody that he was talking to real quick,

448
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,000
Speaker 2: and you just went a lot further in your feelings

449
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:41,720
Speaker 2: than he did, you know, because you're calling him the

450
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 2: love of your life. And I guarantee you he never

451
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:47,160
Speaker 2: felt that way, or he wouldn't be with who he's with.

452
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 2: I really don't have advice. You got it, you know,

453
00:20:50,080 --> 00:20:52,119
Speaker 2: move on. I got advice for the future.

454
00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:52,560
Speaker 4: Next time.

455
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:55,400
Speaker 2: Don't do this shit, you know, don't do this shit

456
00:20:55,840 --> 00:20:58,920
Speaker 2: if a man tells you blatantly listen, you know, because

457
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,119
Speaker 2: you said we can't be friends, and we can't just

458
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,400
Speaker 2: be friends, you know, damn well, it ain't what you want.

459
00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 4: You didn't want that we can't be friends.

460
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: You know, when I'm around you. You know, I don't

461
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,359
Speaker 2: fuck my friends. You know, you would still be trying

462
00:21:10,359 --> 00:21:12,239
Speaker 2: to throw them net plus and you already know what's up.

463
00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:16,439
Speaker 2: And he said he knows how he is around you,

464
00:21:16,640 --> 00:21:19,040
Speaker 2: so he didn't even he didn't even want to even

465
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:22,199
Speaker 2: try that go down that road. That also tells me

466
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:24,639
Speaker 2: he has a sense of loyalty. And the right woman

467
00:21:24,720 --> 00:21:27,400
Speaker 2: gets it. You didn't really hold yourself to a high

468
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: enough standard. Anywhere you would have been his girlfriend. You

469
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,320
Speaker 2: would have been the love of his life. He was

470
00:21:33,359 --> 00:21:34,920
Speaker 2: ready to still be a side check at but he

471
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,200
Speaker 2: sold you that he was happy with somebody else.

472
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,960
Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, So cherish yourself, value yourself more,

473
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:44,480
Speaker 4: you know what I mean. We should never be willing,

474
00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:51,399
Speaker 4: like willing and voluntarily being a you know, a side

475
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 4: check or any or the second to any woman. You know.

476
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:54,879
Speaker 4: Don't don't do that.

477
00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,359
Speaker 2: Don't ever do that. But yeah, you gonna have to

478
00:21:57,400 --> 00:21:59,560
Speaker 2: get over this. And like you said, it's only been

479
00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: to day or whatever. You know, you wrote me a

480
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:05,680
Speaker 2: story January twenty fifth. Right now in February, early February,

481
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 2: check back in with me and let me know what's

482
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,560
Speaker 2: going on, because I really love to keep pouring into

483
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: you so you can see your worth and see that

484
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 2: it's somebody out there that will do you like he

485
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 2: doing his girl now.

486
00:22:17,240 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 4: He looked happier than that a girl.

487
00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 2: The best thing you could have did was pull a

488
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: fuck off, and I'm appy you don't call him back,

489
00:22:22,920 --> 00:22:23,320
Speaker 2: none of that.

490
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,560
Speaker 1: Once again, thank you for tuning into the Blackfec Podcast Network.

491
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:29,600
Speaker 1: See you in twenty twenty five for more great moments

492
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,680
Speaker 1: from your favorite podcast