1 00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: There's no crying in baseball. It's the stupidest line ever. 2 00:00:07,840 --> 00:00:11,720 Speaker 1: It's basically saying don't care about something you really put 3 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: your time into. That's like saying that no crying in life. 4 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:17,880 Speaker 1: We as men have to do a better job at 5 00:00:18,079 --> 00:00:21,280 Speaker 1: understanding the emotional lives of the boys that we coach 6 00:00:21,520 --> 00:00:24,000 Speaker 1: and stopped trying to turn them into, you know, iron 7 00:00:24,079 --> 00:00:28,240 Speaker 1: men at eight years old. This is the Reformed Sports Project, 8 00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:31,680 Speaker 1: a podcast about restoring healthy balance and perspective in all 9 00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:35,479 Speaker 1: areas of sports through education and advocacy. Hi, this is 10 00:00:35,560 --> 00:00:38,959 Speaker 1: Nick Bonacor from the Reformed Sports Project podcast. Today, I'm 11 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: speaking with Michae O'Malley, a sought after actor, writer and 12 00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: producer well known for his work on hit shows including Glee, Shameless, 13 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: The Morning Show, and Parks and Recreation, among many others. 14 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,480 Speaker 1: A youth sports advocate and parent of three, Mike previously 15 00:00:53,479 --> 00:00:55,960 Speaker 1: served as a youth coach and administrator of a six 16 00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:59,200 Speaker 1: kid pony league. Mike and I discussed why coping with 17 00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:02,240 Speaker 1: failures should be celebrated as much as success, the importance 18 00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:05,479 Speaker 1: of letting children express their emotions, and why parents should 19 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: seek out leadership positions to help reform the youth sports industry. 20 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:11,880 Speaker 1: I have a kindred spirit on the phone with me. 21 00:01:12,000 --> 00:01:13,480 Speaker 1: If you had asked me a year ago, if I 22 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:15,160 Speaker 1: would have had this dude on, I would have told you, 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: I don't know how the hell our paths would have crossed. 24 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,400 Speaker 1: But you know what, it's the power of sports. It's 25 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 1: the power the people that love youth sports and the 26 00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: impact it makes UM all the way out in l A. 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:27,560 Speaker 1: But we're kindred spirits. I'm fired up to have them, 28 00:01:27,600 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: my man, Michael Mallet, Mr m I thank you so 29 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:33,040 Speaker 1: much for Nike. It's great to talk to you. And yes, 30 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:36,720 Speaker 1: I mean it's fantastic what you're doing with your platform, 31 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 1: with your voice. UM. What I love about it is 32 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:43,800 Speaker 1: that you just reform sports. Parent. I have children who 33 00:01:43,840 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: are now in college, graduating high school, and in high school. 34 00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 1: But I've had a deep experience with youth sports UH 35 00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:57,920 Speaker 1: coaching and being administrator of a kid pony league. I 36 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,040 Speaker 1: was the president of that league for many years and 37 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:04,160 Speaker 1: a board member. And I think that so many parents 38 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:09,800 Speaker 1: are trying to navigate how to find their way through 39 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: this love that they have for athletics and their children 40 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: achieving and being on teams and trying to you know, 41 00:02:16,320 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: get better at fourth and yet navigating their own feelings 42 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: about it, good and bad, and and how to manage it. 43 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 1: And I think that the more that we talk about it, 44 00:02:24,520 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: which is certainly something you do with your platform, the better. 45 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,359 Speaker 1: And I appreciate you and that I'm so glad you 46 00:02:29,440 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 1: said that, because I've been excited ever since we connected 47 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,440 Speaker 1: to hear about it. Because you're out there in Los Angeles. 48 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 1: So what's it like You're on the board, You're coaching 49 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 1: sports teams? What do you like a Brad Pitt's kid. Hey, 50 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,280 Speaker 1: come on and let's play. What's it like coaching youth 51 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: sports in the middle of Hollywood? And what's it just 52 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,480 Speaker 1: tell us all about we are writing. You know, I 53 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,920 Speaker 1: do live in the heart of Hollywood, but you know 54 00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:51,080 Speaker 1: Hollywood borders you know the San Fernando Valley, which you know, 55 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:55,359 Speaker 1: this this great sports and this great basketball, football, baseball, 56 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,880 Speaker 1: I mean soccer. There's just great big high schools and 57 00:02:57,919 --> 00:03:01,119 Speaker 1: you supports to feel, you know, surrounding area of Los 58 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: Angeles is just like any suburb or town anywhere across 59 00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: you know, this country. There are parents who love their kids, 60 00:03:08,639 --> 00:03:11,720 Speaker 1: who have get up every day, drive them to school 61 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: or put them on the bus to school. Yes, there 62 00:03:14,639 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 1: are certainly, you know, sons and daughters of of actors 63 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,640 Speaker 1: and writers and directors and musicians. But at the end 64 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,000 Speaker 1: of the day, you know those people, of the majority 65 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:29,080 Speaker 1: of them, nine of those people, they just love their 66 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:31,320 Speaker 1: kids and they want to see them thrive. So it's 67 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,880 Speaker 1: no different than you know, because I'm I'm still in 68 00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,120 Speaker 1: touch with my friends back in the Hampshire and you 69 00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: know that I knew growing up in college and high school, 70 00:03:38,520 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: and you know, the stories are still the same. I 71 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: think the most challenging thing about Los Angeles is just 72 00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: as you know, anyone from a big city will tell you, 73 00:03:47,080 --> 00:03:50,720 Speaker 1: it's just field space, court space, you know, just any 74 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,440 Speaker 1: green space to throw the ball around. Um, that's the 75 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: challenging things. So but we can get into that. Well, 76 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: you know, I'm curious because you know, some of the 77 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: best athletes in the country come out of the state 78 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: of California, right, I mean we talked about a little 79 00:04:03,880 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: bit before, and you have Texas to have California and 80 00:04:05,920 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: some will say, well, they are also some of the 81 00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:10,160 Speaker 1: biggest Well yeah, I get it. But the weather place 82 00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 1: a part in that, right, there's a level of competitiveness 83 00:04:13,760 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: that I would imagine just like here a moment to 84 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:18,320 Speaker 1: North Carolina. I mean it's a little bit of a 85 00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: hotbed of athletics and you have those places. So as 86 00:04:21,480 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: far as like the scene, is it all pay to 87 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,839 Speaker 1: play wreck? Like, what was it like for you running 88 00:04:26,839 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 1: an organization out there? Well, that's interesting you say that. 89 00:04:30,279 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: So you know, look, I think that one of the 90 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:36,599 Speaker 1: joys of you know, baseball was the youth sport that 91 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: I coached the most, and it is my favorite sport 92 00:04:38,839 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 1: and so, um, I had, uh, you know, a deep 93 00:04:42,600 --> 00:04:45,279 Speaker 1: knowledge of it. I loved playing it. I love the game. 94 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:51,080 Speaker 1: They are unbelievable baseball schools out here. Um, and you know, 95 00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: the high schools have all very very competitive teams. But 96 00:04:54,320 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think I do think the weather helps, right, 97 00:04:58,200 --> 00:05:01,599 Speaker 1: see that you can play year round though. Now you know, 98 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:05,840 Speaker 1: I go back to New Hampshire, there's these unbelievable facilities 99 00:05:05,920 --> 00:05:07,960 Speaker 1: which have batting cages that they didn't have, you know 100 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: when I was growing up. You mean, you what are 101 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: you doing playing baseball? Are trying to get into it? 102 00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: You know, there was no hitting cage, you know, Now, 103 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 1: like it's it's unbelievable. You know Boston College. You know 104 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: a friend who coaches up there, and he's you know, 105 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: the facility that they have in the winter that they're 106 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 1: able to use is unbelievable now. But anyways, we're jumping 107 00:05:27,200 --> 00:05:30,240 Speaker 1: all around. But so for me, what happened was I 108 00:05:30,279 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: took my sound to tea ball and my son was 109 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: a pretty decent te ball player. And I don't know, 110 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 1: people say, oh, well, you know, what does that mean? 111 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,640 Speaker 1: He's a pretty decent tea ball player. All that matters 112 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 1: is that I'm sure you realize this with your six kids, 113 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,760 Speaker 1: Like if you have nothing to do when you're rolling 114 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,960 Speaker 1: the ball around, or you teach your son and daughter 115 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:48,920 Speaker 1: how to throw a ball, and then if you just 116 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: keep them to like point their nose at the baseball 117 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:55,320 Speaker 1: on the tee and until the bat swings it, you 118 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 1: can be pretty decent at tea ball. And so, but 119 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,080 Speaker 1: what happened was when he was at the end of 120 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: his UH first season, they said does he want to 121 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: try out for All Stars? And I was like what 122 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:07,840 Speaker 1: I just I just couldn't you guys talking about it? 123 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: And you saw the kid he played. We just had 124 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: a season public games, you know, he he didn't see 125 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 1: why he's five years old. He's catching you know, line 126 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:20,040 Speaker 1: drives at third base. Granted it's like the sort of 127 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,279 Speaker 1: squishy ball, but so I'm like, I'm like, I don't 128 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:26,320 Speaker 1: know if I necessarily want to get him wrapped up 129 00:06:26,320 --> 00:06:29,680 Speaker 1: in trying out at six years old or five years old, 130 00:06:29,720 --> 00:06:31,719 Speaker 1: whatever it was he was. But then it dawned on me. 131 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:33,919 Speaker 1: I was like, oh, yeah, this is this is serious. 132 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,520 Speaker 1: And you know, you're just coming in like any new parents, 133 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,599 Speaker 1: because my daughter played soccer and basketball and she was 134 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:42,080 Speaker 1: a swimmer, but she didn't play baseball. So you don't 135 00:06:42,080 --> 00:06:44,960 Speaker 1: really get the lay of the land until you have 136 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,400 Speaker 1: your first son or your first daughter who wants to play. 137 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,440 Speaker 1: And then once you see what's going on, you know, 138 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,719 Speaker 1: you realize like, oh, your kids playing in uh in 139 00:06:53,760 --> 00:06:56,479 Speaker 1: a division with a bunch of guys who were on 140 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 1: their second kid, and they know how the rules work 141 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,440 Speaker 1: around here, they know how to do this. I mean, 142 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,520 Speaker 1: it was just, you know, it's just so crazy that 143 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:07,040 Speaker 1: that you realize like, ah, you man, the people are 144 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: trying to game game the system when they try to 145 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 1: evaluate the kids. You're talking about like a seven year 146 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,120 Speaker 1: old kid and said as a there's a one to 147 00:07:14,240 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: tend ranking on speed, you know, hitting, throwing, catching right 148 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: again seven years old and you're just going into this. 149 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 1: You're like, oh my god, what have I stepped into. 150 00:07:25,080 --> 00:07:27,400 Speaker 1: And so so you're there and people like, you know, 151 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,720 Speaker 1: he's got two thirty eight on his team, and then 152 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,400 Speaker 1: some mom or dad coaches like, um, yeah, I think 153 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,200 Speaker 1: you know he wanted to car pool with Austin. We're like, okay, 154 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:39,200 Speaker 1: now now no car pool, Like you realize, like, it's 155 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 1: one of the reasons I became like an administrators, like 156 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 1: no no car pool. And one of the things that 157 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: I think we had great success at this when you know, 158 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 1: we basically said, hey, guys, the reason people aren't playing 159 00:07:51,560 --> 00:07:54,600 Speaker 1: baseball anymore in these rec leagues is because there's one 160 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: team with as a dad or a mom who knows 161 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,080 Speaker 1: how to coach, and then there's other people who want 162 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:01,920 Speaker 1: to volunteer. And certainly in Los Angeles, you know, you 163 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 1: have people with kind of off hours, and so you 164 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,800 Speaker 1: know what we what we realized was, you know, if 165 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 1: I if I was to talk to there's not gonna 166 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:13,120 Speaker 1: be anyone listening right now to this podcast who hasn't 167 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:16,200 Speaker 1: had kids yet. They're probably finding your podcast and finding 168 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,480 Speaker 1: what you're doing because they're in the middle of some 169 00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:21,720 Speaker 1: insane situation. Um, you know, whatever is happening in their 170 00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,560 Speaker 1: youth league, and like, oh, is there any other people 171 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 1: who could talk to me about this? But I wish 172 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: that I had got a little bit of the I 173 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:31,200 Speaker 1: wish that I had almost gone and coached a team 174 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:34,400 Speaker 1: like I had free time. Um, you know, before I 175 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 1: was just it was just even volunteered as an umpire, 176 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: volunteered on the board to get an idea of what's 177 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: going on before you were in the middle of it. 178 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: You know what, what we began to realize in our 179 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,959 Speaker 1: league because we started a pony league in Hollywood and 180 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: now still as about six d kids playing boys and girls. Um, 181 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 1: what we realized was nobody wants to go out and 182 00:08:55,280 --> 00:08:58,719 Speaker 1: get their brains beat in, not at seven years old, 183 00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:01,160 Speaker 1: on at eight, on at nine, on a ten. Nobody 184 00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: wants to get their brains beat in. And if you 185 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,920 Speaker 1: do not have parody at the youth level, um, and 186 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: you don't give every kid opportunities to get instruction and playing. 187 00:09:11,360 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 1: That's why there's no rec leagues anymore because people don't 188 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,439 Speaker 1: want to play, they don't want to get there. Who 189 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,439 Speaker 1: wants to go out on a Saturday and get their 190 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,120 Speaker 1: brains beat in by the two dads who've got their 191 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 1: sons together, and there's no competition, and they win all 192 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:27,199 Speaker 1: the games and everyone else loses. I mean, it's just 193 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:31,000 Speaker 1: so we really really tried and said to you know, parents, 194 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:33,600 Speaker 1: and you know, there was a draft every year where 195 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: you're trying to get it so that the teams had 196 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,079 Speaker 1: tremendous parity. And even if people said, well, timmy has 197 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: a friend on that he doesn't have any friend, who 198 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,920 Speaker 1: were saying like, well, wouldn't it be great if the 199 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: kids starts playing on a team at five years old 200 00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,800 Speaker 1: and they're on a team with twelve other kids, and 201 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:53,559 Speaker 1: then seven years later there there's you know, twelve other 202 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:56,040 Speaker 1: kids that they're on every team with and they've just 203 00:09:56,160 --> 00:10:00,200 Speaker 1: met nine kids in the community and nine families. And 204 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: so what ends up happening, and we found this to 205 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: be true, is that the animosity that sometimes just occurs 206 00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:09,760 Speaker 1: in local towns, right because oh they're you know, we 207 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:12,040 Speaker 1: don't get along with them, they don't get along because 208 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,679 Speaker 1: of youth sports. You began to see that, Uh, at 209 00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: least in my mind what I saw is, oh, this 210 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 1: team that I'm playing now that I'm coaching against. And 211 00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:27,160 Speaker 1: my kid is nine years old now, well, fifteen of 212 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,920 Speaker 1: those kids I coached him when they were six. I 213 00:10:28,920 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: coached them on the other teams, you know, thirty kids whatever. 214 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:34,960 Speaker 1: I coached them on the other teams they were growing up. 215 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,920 Speaker 1: So I was, you know, of course I wanted to 216 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 1: win the baseball game, but I was I was rooting 217 00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 1: for the success of the entire enterprise. And um, I 218 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,840 Speaker 1: don't know I'm speaking in paragraphs here, but I feel 219 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:50,640 Speaker 1: so happily about this, uh about how to you know, 220 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:54,720 Speaker 1: really create a community where the experience of sports because 221 00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:58,520 Speaker 1: for most people, um, it's gonna end. You know, baseball 222 00:10:58,559 --> 00:11:01,680 Speaker 1: is one of those sports where it gets really really difficult. Man, 223 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:04,800 Speaker 1: right around thirteen years old, it gets really hard. Those 224 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 1: fields get picked. Yeah, yeah, exactly, but it's such an 225 00:11:07,840 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: amazing sport. But I coach soccer too, and uh that 226 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:14,880 Speaker 1: was insane because on our teams we had sixteen kids. 227 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: So uh, just it's it's hard space space out here. 228 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:22,040 Speaker 1: And then I coached basketball, which I loved for many years. 229 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:24,440 Speaker 1: You're bringing up a good point. And and someone that 230 00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:27,319 Speaker 1: we know mutually is Kevin Eukolus, Right. I spoke with 231 00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: him a couple of times over the last few years 232 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,079 Speaker 1: on this topic. For those of you who don't know 233 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,240 Speaker 1: Kevin Ukolis, I mean you're talking about, you know, one 234 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,480 Speaker 1: of the Red Sox Great World Series champion also played 235 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: for the Yankee Great dude. But he told me that 236 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: if it were up to him, he don't think kids 237 00:11:41,800 --> 00:11:44,439 Speaker 1: should be playing travel ball to the like freshman in 238 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,680 Speaker 1: high school. He sees it not being advantageous. He thinks 239 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 1: you're better off, you know, playing wreck ball, playing whiffleball 240 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 1: in your backyard, having a great time being creative than 241 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,520 Speaker 1: locking in all year long and kind of, like you said, 242 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:00,240 Speaker 1: tying yourself to friend groups and time everything to wins 243 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:03,000 Speaker 1: and losses. He thinks it's way more advantage now. He 244 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,719 Speaker 1: also grew up in Cincinnati, right, So I'm curious for you. 245 00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,400 Speaker 1: Like I grew up in a cold weather state, I 246 00:12:07,400 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: couldn't play baseball. I can't promise you that if I 247 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,199 Speaker 1: didn't grow up in North Carolina or in l A 248 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: or somewhere where I could have played baseball year round, 249 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,360 Speaker 1: Like I can't tell you if I if I would. 250 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: I love the sport so because I couldn't I played 251 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: football play basketball, and I'm glad I did. But what 252 00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:24,200 Speaker 1: do you think about you thoughts about wreck early and 253 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,719 Speaker 1: not being able to really pay to play. I mean, 254 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 1: but that genie seems to be come out of the bottle. 255 00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: I don't think there's the way you get it back in. No, 256 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:36,720 Speaker 1: I don't either, because I also think because there's money 257 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 1: in it, right, there's money, and there's an appetite for it. 258 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 1: My children like to play more than one sport. Some 259 00:12:43,920 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: kids don't take some more than one sport. They don't 260 00:12:46,320 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: have the aptitude for more than one sport. They're not 261 00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:52,520 Speaker 1: interested in more than one sport, and so why should 262 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:54,760 Speaker 1: they be restricted from doing what it is that they 263 00:12:54,800 --> 00:12:56,679 Speaker 1: want to do. And so it's almost like you've got 264 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,679 Speaker 1: to be comfortable as a parent. It's a basketball and 265 00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,480 Speaker 1: and here is the other thing. If your kid is 266 00:13:01,480 --> 00:13:04,000 Speaker 1: a good basketball player and he's seven or eight years old, 267 00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 1: and he's playing on the team, he's doing good on 268 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:07,640 Speaker 1: the rec league, and then he goes to soccer in 269 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: the winter, and then he goes to baseball in the 270 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: in the spring, you've got to be comfortable with the 271 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 1: fact that the kid who he was just as good 272 00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:17,920 Speaker 1: as you know when he was eight years old, doesn't 273 00:13:17,920 --> 00:13:21,560 Speaker 1: go to soccer, doesn't go to baseball, and keep playing basketball, 274 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 1: and and it's looking for something to do on the weekend. 275 00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:28,080 Speaker 1: You know, Like, I'm not against anyone doing anything other 276 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: than you know, having a kid who is not spending 277 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:33,160 Speaker 1: that all their time gaming and they're out and they're 278 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,199 Speaker 1: running around, they're getting together with their friends, and they're 279 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:38,960 Speaker 1: learning about how to be disciplined with the sports something. 280 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: I'm I'm totally down with that. Um. I think that 281 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: the hard thing is that if your kid likes the 282 00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:48,040 Speaker 1: sport and has aptitude for it, if he wants to 283 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,440 Speaker 1: have or she wants to have a varied experience, then 284 00:13:52,120 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 1: I don't know, man, Like, how do you keep up? Like, 285 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,960 Speaker 1: at a certain point, it does become like, you know, 286 00:13:57,040 --> 00:13:59,600 Speaker 1: the hours in you know what I mean, if you're 287 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,640 Speaker 1: not out they're dribbling. You know, if you're taking five 288 00:14:02,679 --> 00:14:04,840 Speaker 1: months off from dribbling an hour a day, are you 289 00:14:04,840 --> 00:14:07,319 Speaker 1: gonna be as good as a guy dribbled the entire year? No. 290 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,640 Speaker 1: There are freaks, right, we know these freaks who are 291 00:14:10,679 --> 00:14:13,160 Speaker 1: just they're they're just unbelievable and they can pick it 292 00:14:13,240 --> 00:14:15,560 Speaker 1: up with two seconds. But that's not everybody. In fact, 293 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,800 Speaker 1: it's a small percentage of people, and those of the 294 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 1: people end up becoming, you know, professional athletes. When we returned, 295 00:14:21,840 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: Mike and I discussed why coaches should embrace children's emotions 296 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:35,720 Speaker 1: rather than shut them down. Welcome back. Where we left off, 297 00:14:35,920 --> 00:14:38,040 Speaker 1: Mike and I were about to discuss how parents can 298 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:41,080 Speaker 1: help change their children's youth sports experiences for the better. 299 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: I don't think anyone can have success in life without 300 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,040 Speaker 1: without struggling. Uh And I would think struggling quite a bit. 301 00:14:48,240 --> 00:14:51,720 Speaker 1: How do you, as a parent allow your kids to fail? 302 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: More importantly, do you find ways, like do you pull 303 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,120 Speaker 1: things from your own experience as a performer as an 304 00:14:57,200 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 1: artist where you faced rejection and you know, kind of 305 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,520 Speaker 1: help with those messages, with those stories with your kids 306 00:15:03,520 --> 00:15:05,000 Speaker 1: to help them along. Can you tell us a little 307 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,680 Speaker 1: bit about it? Yeah, I mean it's hard, because you know, 308 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:11,360 Speaker 1: we we I think one of the things that is 309 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:14,520 Speaker 1: so wonderful about being a parent is that, and then 310 00:15:14,560 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 1: you don't realize until you're a parent, is just how 311 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,840 Speaker 1: profoundly deep and emotional that love is. It's like, literally, 312 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 1: somebody said this to me, and I found it to 313 00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: be pre accurate. Having a child is like having a 314 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: little piece of your soul walking around outside your body. 315 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:34,200 Speaker 1: And it's hard, right, because it gives us so much 316 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: joy and so much elation and then so much pain. 317 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:41,000 Speaker 1: And we can't shield all of that from them. We 318 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,360 Speaker 1: just have to be a harbor, a shelter, a place 319 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:47,640 Speaker 1: that they can come back. But life is is hard, right, 320 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:50,720 Speaker 1: Disappointment is hard. You want to be able to do well. 321 00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: One of the things that's difficult about sports is that 322 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:55,920 Speaker 1: we want to put our whole heart into the thing. 323 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:58,760 Speaker 1: And I have been trying to, i'd have to say, 324 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 1: really the last ten year years, and not always succeeding 325 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:07,080 Speaker 1: at this. Reading and absorbing Stoic philosophy, you know, famously 326 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 1: empictitious Marcus Abilius, you know, I know that's becoming more 327 00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:14,520 Speaker 1: and more popular. The author Ryan Holiday, who's you know, 328 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: really great. You know, some of his books just really 329 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: shedding new not shedding new light, but bringing well shedding 330 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: new light and also bringing awareness to Stoic philosophy, which basically, 331 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 1: if I was just gonna you know, draw down to 332 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:31,600 Speaker 1: its essences. It is dangerous for us to put our 333 00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: emotions in service to something that we don't have control 334 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: over so in other words, I'm gonna make this team, 335 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,560 Speaker 1: I'm gonna wake up tomorrow and it's gonna be a 336 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,760 Speaker 1: sunny day. Those are things that are not in your control. 337 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: You can work hard to make the team. You can 338 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:45,400 Speaker 1: work hard to be an actor and get a job. 339 00:16:45,800 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: You can write something a script, a TV show and 340 00:16:48,280 --> 00:16:50,800 Speaker 1: you could hope it would win Emmy Awards, or a 341 00:16:50,880 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: movie that could win Oscars. It's like, but that's not 342 00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 1: in your control. The only thing that is in your 343 00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: control is your effort. When you hit a walk off 344 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 1: home run, even as the kids are little, they'll dump 345 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 1: their water bottles over your head and gatorades and sodas 346 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: and everyone's you know, calling the grandparents when they drive home. 347 00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: We don't call the grandparents to say it was a 348 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,320 Speaker 1: great game. You know, the Johnny struck out three times, 349 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:19,520 Speaker 1: you know, so so we we also how we parent, 350 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 1: how we respond to either their success or failures. That's 351 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:29,240 Speaker 1: teaching them. Like imagine if on the drive home when 352 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:31,960 Speaker 1: your son struck out three times where they lost that 353 00:17:32,040 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 1: you just you called the grandparents and you said, hey, 354 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 1: Nana and Papa or grandma and grandpa. You know I 355 00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:39,840 Speaker 1: was so proud of you know, a little nick today. Man. 356 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:43,080 Speaker 1: He was just you should have seen him, you know, 357 00:17:43,160 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 1: the courage that he had to shake hands at the 358 00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 1: end of the game, Uh, to go off to his 359 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: friends and congratulate him on the game that they played 360 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:53,440 Speaker 1: even though they lost, to find his friend who was 361 00:17:53,480 --> 00:17:56,879 Speaker 1: feeling down and lift him up. And listen, I'm saying 362 00:17:56,920 --> 00:17:59,960 Speaker 1: this not as somebody who you know, I'm somebody who 363 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,520 Speaker 1: tried to do that. But you know, we can all 364 00:18:02,520 --> 00:18:04,480 Speaker 1: do that more. I think one of the ways we 365 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,520 Speaker 1: would help them be a failure probably better, is if 366 00:18:07,560 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: we praise them for how they dealt with it as 367 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,560 Speaker 1: much as we praise them when they hit a home run. 368 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:15,439 Speaker 1: And that's hard to do, right. I think it's I 369 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:19,200 Speaker 1: think it's really really hard to teach your children how 370 00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:21,760 Speaker 1: to become really invested in what it is they do. 371 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:23,840 Speaker 1: They gotta put the hours and got to work hard, 372 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,600 Speaker 1: but that it's all about, you know, the effort. It's 373 00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,200 Speaker 1: teaching your kids to be adept at beginning to manage 374 00:18:31,400 --> 00:18:34,600 Speaker 1: their own feelings about performance. And as long as they've 375 00:18:34,920 --> 00:18:37,320 Speaker 1: put in their best effort, that's what you want to 376 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 1: see them take out of them. I mean even as 377 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,800 Speaker 1: a you know, as an adult, when a team that 378 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,960 Speaker 1: I'm rooting for loses, it takes me a second to 379 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,720 Speaker 1: shake it off. I mean, it's madness, it really is. 380 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:52,919 Speaker 1: Now you put your kids in the situation like this 381 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 1: stupid line, there's no crying in baseball. It's the stupidest 382 00:18:57,119 --> 00:19:02,720 Speaker 1: line ever. It's based simply saying, don't care about something 383 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,600 Speaker 1: you really put your time into. It's the stupidest line 384 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:10,439 Speaker 1: in a movie that was funny when I first saw it, 385 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:14,200 Speaker 1: but after coaching the fact that you know, you hear 386 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:16,640 Speaker 1: like you're coaching with the guy in this the seven 387 00:19:16,760 --> 00:19:18,919 Speaker 1: years seven year old and he's crying because he strikes 388 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,880 Speaker 1: it out, and and they're like, there's no crying in baseball. 389 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:24,200 Speaker 1: It's like that's like saying there's no crying in life. 390 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,520 Speaker 1: Like why do we have tear ducks if we're not 391 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:30,080 Speaker 1: supposed to use them? It's so stupid. We as men 392 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 1: have to do a better job and understanding the emotional 393 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 1: lives of the boys that we coach and stop trying 394 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:40,760 Speaker 1: to turn them into you know, iron men at eight 395 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,720 Speaker 1: years old. I'm so glad you went there, because mental 396 00:19:43,760 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: health is a big issue. I feel like one of 397 00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:48,720 Speaker 1: the reasons I have such a close relationship with it 398 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:51,400 Speaker 1: with a few of my coaches is because they gave 399 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,840 Speaker 1: me the freedom to get vulnerable. You know, they coached 400 00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: me as the person rather than just the baseball player. Right. 401 00:19:58,119 --> 00:19:59,959 Speaker 1: I feel like those are the best leaders, the one 402 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,680 Speaker 1: that get to know you as a human being and 403 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:06,280 Speaker 1: find out what drives you, what motivates you. It's so 404 00:20:06,359 --> 00:20:08,919 Speaker 1: easy to just coach xs and os and hey, we 405 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,920 Speaker 1: do this strategy and we do this and you throw 406 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 1: this pitch and whatever, and we should get this outcome. 407 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:15,800 Speaker 1: Well how about ask him? You know, how about developing 408 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:18,840 Speaker 1: that bond? What about that relationship with that coach that 409 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:21,280 Speaker 1: you want to call and invite to your wedding? Like, 410 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:23,359 Speaker 1: how do I, as a coach get that? Well, I 411 00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:25,320 Speaker 1: gotta get I gotta. I think it's doing those extra 412 00:20:25,359 --> 00:20:28,359 Speaker 1: things that you're talking about and allowing kids to feel 413 00:20:28,359 --> 00:20:31,479 Speaker 1: comfortable enough in their own skin to get vulnerable. And 414 00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:34,000 Speaker 1: that's a challenging place to be because I don't think 415 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,480 Speaker 1: a lot of people understand that's how you get the 416 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,879 Speaker 1: best out of somebody. I'm sure you as an actor, 417 00:20:38,920 --> 00:20:41,640 Speaker 1: as a writer, as a you know, someone who competes. 418 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,840 Speaker 1: I mean you're competing at a high level every single 419 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: day of your life and your profession. There's gotta be 420 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:49,160 Speaker 1: you know, I would imagine directors or leaders in your 421 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 1: life that helped you get to the pinnacle of your 422 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 1: career and brought the best out of you. Was there 423 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 1: elements of you know, great coaching that went into that 424 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:59,680 Speaker 1: that allows you to feel safe, to be able to 425 00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,480 Speaker 1: be as creative as as you can, to get the 426 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: best out of you. Or people's awareness of what they're 427 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,040 Speaker 1: you know, how they're feeling and how it's affecting their performance. 428 00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:12,760 Speaker 1: What is that something that uh, people are more in 429 00:21:12,840 --> 00:21:15,560 Speaker 1: tune with than they were maybe when I was growing up. 430 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:20,400 Speaker 1: But to answer your question, the directors, especially the directors 431 00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,000 Speaker 1: and the other actors that I've worked with that are 432 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,080 Speaker 1: able to listen. Yes, they have a direction about where 433 00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: they want you to go. Yes, they have an idea 434 00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: about you know, what story they want to tell or 435 00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,760 Speaker 1: where your focus should be. But it's trying to bring 436 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,800 Speaker 1: out the best in every individual. Trying to bring out 437 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: the best of each individual is one of the things 438 00:21:41,119 --> 00:21:44,800 Speaker 1: that is so amazing about so many of the volunteer coaches, 439 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 1: even who you know I worked with in the neighborhood. 440 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,080 Speaker 1: Just how much time and thought they put into thinking 441 00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,600 Speaker 1: about each of the players and lifting them up and 442 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,200 Speaker 1: bringing out the best of them, and talking to their 443 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:59,040 Speaker 1: parents and understanding um. Because the truth of the matter 444 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 1: is that every one of those kids are playing on 445 00:22:00,760 --> 00:22:02,439 Speaker 1: the team. They want to succeed. They want to be 446 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,919 Speaker 1: the people who you know, their their buddies are patent 447 00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:06,959 Speaker 1: on the back. They want to take the game winning shots. 448 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,480 Speaker 1: I mean, you know, with these youth basketball I mean, 449 00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,040 Speaker 1: if the clock starts counting down at at thirty seconds 450 00:22:13,040 --> 00:22:14,879 Speaker 1: and one kid has the ball, I mean in a 451 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,880 Speaker 1: wreck basketball league, they ain't giving it up because they 452 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 1: wanted to take the shot at the end of the game, 453 00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:24,480 Speaker 1: at the buzzer because they want to have a buzzer beater. Yeah, 454 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,719 Speaker 1: you can't play them because they want to again, they 455 00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:28,720 Speaker 1: want to have that feeling of when they're succeed But 456 00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:31,040 Speaker 1: I would say that you know, for me, yes, it's 457 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: those directors, men and women, and you know, and fellow 458 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,920 Speaker 1: actors who are really trying to bring out the best 459 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:40,639 Speaker 1: in you. Honestly, I could talk about this for days 460 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 1: and I'll say something else about you know, the because 461 00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:46,560 Speaker 1: I really have UM. You know a connection and a 462 00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:50,239 Speaker 1: and a passion for dads and moms spending time with 463 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:53,600 Speaker 1: their kids, coaching them or in an administrative position in 464 00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:56,960 Speaker 1: one of their local wreck leagues or even travel leagues, 465 00:22:57,119 --> 00:23:00,520 Speaker 1: just being around them. That time spent with your children 466 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,760 Speaker 1: in the car going to the game's getting ready, getting up, 467 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,640 Speaker 1: It really does, um, solidify. And I'm not looking at 468 00:23:07,680 --> 00:23:09,520 Speaker 1: the you know, my my son is about the plays 469 00:23:09,600 --> 00:23:12,399 Speaker 1: last year of high school baseball, and then I have 470 00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 1: a younger son is playing basketball. Um, but I look 471 00:23:15,800 --> 00:23:19,080 Speaker 1: back fondly on the time when they were gosh, you right, 472 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 1: we're going to this game. We're going to that game. 473 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:25,560 Speaker 1: But you're seeing them with their friends, these lasting friendships 474 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:27,800 Speaker 1: that they've made still to this day. And it does, 475 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 1: I think, connect you to a community. Um. I think 476 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,360 Speaker 1: that I think is so so important. And I love 477 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,840 Speaker 1: the authenticity. I love the realism and the passion is 478 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,119 Speaker 1: just You're getting me fired up and I love it. 479 00:23:41,160 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: And you have a show coming and you talked about it. 480 00:23:43,920 --> 00:23:46,600 Speaker 1: You've been on you know a number of shows that 481 00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:49,919 Speaker 1: I really want to talk about real quick, Like, do 482 00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:51,840 Speaker 1: you have a new show that's out there? You said 483 00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:54,800 Speaker 1: on Stars, what's it about let's go to the last 484 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,120 Speaker 1: three years. I've been working on a show called Heels. 485 00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:01,840 Speaker 1: It's not about women's shoes. It is a show in 486 00:24:02,800 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: wrestling professional wrestling. The good guys, our own faces or 487 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 1: baby faces, and the bad guys that the audience likes 488 00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:14,199 Speaker 1: to root against. They're called heels, as in bad guys heels. 489 00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:16,320 Speaker 1: And so the show is called Heels. And it's about 490 00:24:16,320 --> 00:24:20,480 Speaker 1: a family in Georgia, rural Georgia, southwestern Georgia, in a 491 00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:24,359 Speaker 1: fictional town called Duffy. And you know, we we like 492 00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:27,040 Speaker 1: to describe it as kind of Friday night Lights of 493 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:30,080 Speaker 1: professional wrestling. It's about a family that is trying to 494 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: make professional wrestling relevant. They have a creative bent. They 495 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,840 Speaker 1: don't really know necessarily know how to make that successful 496 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:44,720 Speaker 1: in their small town, but they yearn to be storytellers 497 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 1: in the wrestling world and they yearn for greater success. 498 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,440 Speaker 1: It's starring Steven A Mel who is on the show 499 00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: Arrow for many years on the c W, Alexander Ludwig 500 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:58,879 Speaker 1: who start in Vikings for many years, uh Miry McCormack 501 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 1: who uh she was on in Plain Site, Chris Bauer 502 00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:06,160 Speaker 1: from The Wire and True Blood, Kelly Bergland Alison Luff, 503 00:25:06,240 --> 00:25:10,199 Speaker 1: and then alam al Donado who's on Survivor's Remorse Me 504 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,119 Speaker 1: and is now in the Wonder Years. And one of 505 00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:15,239 Speaker 1: you know, we have c him Punk who is one 506 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,639 Speaker 1: of the best wrestlers of all time. And then James 507 00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: horrise In, the former linebacker for the Pittsburgh Steelers. He's 508 00:25:21,040 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: on a too, so that's bad. He's a bad used 509 00:25:23,440 --> 00:25:25,639 Speaker 1: to get a badass on there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, So 510 00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: it's called Heels. It's on Stars. If you have Hulu, 511 00:25:29,080 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 1: there's a plug in that you can get for Stars. 512 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,040 Speaker 1: You can also watch it on Amazon also has a 513 00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:35,800 Speaker 1: plug in, or you can just get the app Stars 514 00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:38,840 Speaker 1: S T A r Z. So it's a family drama. 515 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,080 Speaker 1: It's not for the not for people who don't like 516 00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 1: potty mouth words. Um, but it is a really deep 517 00:25:46,440 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 1: resident drama that we're real proud of. This is pretty sweet. 518 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 1: Not only um uh, you know, we're trying to We're 519 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,000 Speaker 1: have a conversation that I think people are finding very useful. 520 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,400 Speaker 1: But dude, to run into someone like you and then 521 00:25:57,400 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 1: you're in you're a New England guy. This is even cooler. 522 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:05,680 Speaker 1: Men's I really appreciate what you're doing and I really want, 523 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,639 Speaker 1: you know, to encourage. I would say this to the 524 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:13,320 Speaker 1: folks out there who want to try to change there 525 00:26:13,359 --> 00:26:15,639 Speaker 1: their local rect league or their local little league, or 526 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:19,160 Speaker 1: their local pony league or how it works. There are 527 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: others who are desperate for you to do that, but 528 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:25,760 Speaker 1: you have to take a leadership role and you have 529 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 1: to be able to put time in. It will only 530 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,840 Speaker 1: change if you're getting in there on the board and 531 00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,400 Speaker 1: finding like minded people, because nobody wants the insanity right, 532 00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,320 Speaker 1: But you really have to think about what is the 533 00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:41,160 Speaker 1: most important thing for your community. The thing is really 534 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:46,320 Speaker 1: about formulating teams, local teams that you know there's there's 535 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,840 Speaker 1: a sense of fellowship, you know, a church league, a 536 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,920 Speaker 1: group league where people are coming together and that you're 537 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,880 Speaker 1: really monitoring the coaches. You're all pulling together to make 538 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,240 Speaker 1: this happen. That the travels for the genie is out 539 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,960 Speaker 1: of the bottle. Man, It's it's nothing's gonna it's not 540 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:06,439 Speaker 1: gonna go back to what it was, in part because 541 00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:08,679 Speaker 1: of what I was just saying earlier. But what we 542 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 1: can do is what you can do as an administrator, 543 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:15,040 Speaker 1: somebody on the board, somebody in the administration, somebody who's 544 00:27:15,320 --> 00:27:19,840 Speaker 1: in charge of umpires or referees. You can dictate the 545 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,080 Speaker 1: tone of how things are done and people will fall 546 00:27:23,119 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 1: in line. You have to create that culture. You can 547 00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:30,000 Speaker 1: only affect change if you're in a leadership position and 548 00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,359 Speaker 1: you find other people who are on the same side 549 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:35,040 Speaker 1: as you. It's the only way. So you can be 550 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:39,199 Speaker 1: reformed sports parent yourself. But unless you stop on a 551 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:42,440 Speaker 1: board and do something and put in all the sweat. 552 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,440 Speaker 1: Right sitting in your backyard and two guys from the 553 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,320 Speaker 1: neighborhood are arguing about what happened at a game and 554 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:51,160 Speaker 1: you're sitting there being like, how is this my Saturday afternoon. 555 00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: I didn't even know these guys two years ago. That's 556 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:56,720 Speaker 1: what it takes. Yes, get off your ass. I love it, dude, 557 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 1: Thank you man. This is we're doing this again the 558 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 1: Irie irishman. Dude, I love it. It's great talking to you. 559 00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:08,680 Speaker 1: Let's talk more. That's Michael Malley, actor, writer and producer. 560 00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:11,800 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening to the Reform Sports Project podcast. I'm 561 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:14,200 Speaker 1: Nick Bonacore and our goal is to restore a healthy 562 00:28:14,200 --> 00:28:17,600 Speaker 1: balance and perspective in all areas of sports through education 563 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:21,199 Speaker 1: and advocacy. For updates, please follow us on Facebook, Twitter, 564 00:28:21,359 --> 00:28:24,040 Speaker 1: and Instagram or check out our website by searching for 565 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 1: the Reform Sports Project