WEBVTT - You've Got Decisions: How Should I Feel? He May Have a Baby! 0:00:01.760 --> 0:00:05.720 Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decision. 0:00:07.200 --> 0:00:08.600 We are back, y'all. 0:00:08.800 --> 0:00:11.159 It's been nice to record remotely because we can do 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.920 them on time. We give you the solo, y'all, niggas, 0:00:13.960 --> 0:00:16.480 won't we could get you see the updates. 0:00:16.840 --> 0:00:18.160 I had a little things going on. 0:00:18.760 --> 0:00:20.080 Chout out to tea antymo with me today. 0:00:20.079 --> 0:00:24.040 I had to ask me Andy reschedule because my homegirl 0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.440 leaving a fuck nigga, and she said, I need you 0:00:27.520 --> 0:00:32.400 to help me move out on Monday. I said, okay, 0:00:32.680 --> 0:00:33.960 she said, and we need to do it, not her 0:00:34.040 --> 0:00:37.560 moving out on the first, oh, because she wanted to 0:00:37.560 --> 0:00:39.120 make sure she do before her nigga come back from 0:00:39.120 --> 0:00:39.960 Thanksgiving break. 0:00:41.800 --> 0:00:43.919 So ooh, that was going. 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:45.680 I just woke to when I say, get you some sheets. 0:00:46.120 --> 0:00:47.920 Wait a second, how bad? 0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:48.920 I asked? 0:00:49.000 --> 0:00:50.199 How bad this nigga? 0:00:50.440 --> 0:00:52.560 I need to know what level of fuck nigga he 0:00:52.680 --> 0:00:54.880 is for her to be leaving before he returns. 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:58.160 So then it's also given maybe abusive, like what the fuck? 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:01.560 But low KEI, this is what I asked him. We 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:03.240 can talk about. She's like, yeah, just don't say my name. 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:08.120 So I'd say for the last six months to a year, 0:01:08.240 --> 0:01:10.840 you know, when a relationship feels like it's on that end. 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:12.759 She's felt that for a while. 0:01:13.400 --> 0:01:15.320 Okay, I had a lot of comments to me like fuck, 0:01:15.400 --> 0:01:17.760 I just feel like when I'm ready to make the 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:21.880 move for myself, he doesn't let me go, and he 0:01:21.920 --> 0:01:23.959 won't let me go where he says something to suck 0:01:24.000 --> 0:01:26.680 me in and I just can't free myself from it. 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:30.399 So there's a few things that are just minor but 0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:33.520 that have bothered her. They've lived together for over a 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.800 year and a half and she still doesn't have designated 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:40.920 space in the house. There's a lot of times where 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:43.959 he makes her feel like she's stepping over his closet 0:01:44.080 --> 0:01:47.360 or his drawers, or there's too much of her around, 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:50.480 even though she moved into his home and was invited, 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.160 she says, he's like, oh my god, Yila, Like sometimes 0:01:54.160 --> 0:01:56.520 I'll just be like, oh, well, you leave your stuff here. 0:01:56.800 --> 0:01:59.160 She literally has a suitcase sometimes that she uses. 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:02.640 It's so weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. I know. 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:05.720 She's like it almost became a norm to where like 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:07.720 he's like, I'm going to get a dresser. Oh well, 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.320 we're not going to live in this place forever. Well, 0:02:09.360 --> 0:02:10.840 i'll get this, I'll add storage. 0:02:11.280 --> 0:02:11.799 It's weird. 0:02:13.480 --> 0:02:17.600 The other thing, he hasn't made the initiative to take 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:18.400 them on a vacation. 0:02:19.960 --> 0:02:21.480 Okay, wait, real quick too. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.040 They've been together how long? 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.200 About two years? She moved in after a year. 0:02:26.760 --> 0:02:30.320 Okay, so she let him know she wants to qualification, 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:35.080 and basically he's like, i'll planet it all planet, all planet. 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:38.080 And it hasn't happened. They haven't been anywhere in a year. 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:46.359 He's just prioritizing everything else but that he's a finance bro. 0:02:47.880 --> 0:02:53.359 And the last thing she says, that I love you 0:02:53.520 --> 0:02:58.160 isn't a common word or saying unless she feels that 0:02:58.240 --> 0:03:02.920 it's a dire needn't know how to exclusively say I'm 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:05.800 in love with you, I love you unless they're in 0:03:05.880 --> 0:03:08.960 some kind of contention or she isn't feeling well, she 0:03:09.080 --> 0:03:12.560 doesn't feel that she's getting the I love you's whenever 0:03:12.639 --> 0:03:16.920 they come over the phone or whatever. She's very strange thing. 0:03:17.000 --> 0:03:18.560 It's almost like he's not into me. 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:19.480 It's weird. 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:19.919 It's weird. 0:03:19.919 --> 0:03:20.760 It's weird. It's weird. 0:03:21.800 --> 0:03:24.960 Now I know what she means, because when we have 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:28.400 that feeling, it's unexplainable and you sound crazy saying it, 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:30.640 but you know, when a nigga is supposed to be 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:34.760 doing what they're doing. I think for my judgment, he's 0:03:34.880 --> 0:03:38.320 just like, all right, well, I'm stuck in the cycle. 0:03:38.480 --> 0:03:41.240 We live together, you cook, you clean, you help me out. 0:03:41.480 --> 0:03:42.200 We're in a couple. 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:44.440 We're going through the motions, and she feels no passion. 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:47.600 So she finally calls me and she goes, I'm gonna 0:03:47.600 --> 0:03:49.800 do it. I feel brave enough to do it. I'm 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.240 going to break up with him. I have the balls 0:03:52.280 --> 0:03:54.560 to do it. I'm gonna take my shit out before 0:03:54.600 --> 0:03:55.280 he gets home. 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:56.800 That way, he won't. 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:59.200 Convince me to stay, because I get really weak when 0:03:59.200 --> 0:04:01.440 he convinces me to This is how sick niggas are. 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:03.960 I'm gonna read you that. I'm listening because I have 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:05.240 a thought in my head right now. 0:04:05.720 --> 0:04:08.200 She's had a lot of conversations with him, by the way, 0:04:08.800 --> 0:04:13.560 suggesting couple's therapy, expressing her needs, telling she wants more, 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:16.320 just just all kinds of shit, just saying so. She 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:19.560 feels like some things that are lacking. So she sends 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:22.120 him a message saying she wants to get on a call. 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:26.640 He wrote back, busy, it's the holiday, which is crazy. 0:04:27.960 --> 0:04:30.520 She was she had to be with her family, by 0:04:30.520 --> 0:04:32.360 the way, and he could. 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:34.360 Okay, that was the part of my question because I'm like, 0:04:34.800 --> 0:04:35.920 spend holidays. 0:04:35.480 --> 0:04:37.680 Together before, but there was a there was something going 0:04:37.680 --> 0:04:39.279 on with her family. She had to be there, so 0:04:39.320 --> 0:04:41.600 long story, She goes, you know what, fine, I can't 0:04:41.600 --> 0:04:44.039 do this anymore. I felt like for a long time 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:46.440 we haven't had We're not aligned. There's been a missing 0:04:46.640 --> 0:04:49.920 like judgment and compatibility. I think we had a really like, 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:52.560 you know, fun romance in the first six months, and 0:04:52.600 --> 0:04:59.599 like it's it's lacking. This Nigga texts her a letter 0:04:59.720 --> 0:05:02.000 bit and this is how you know, if you want 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.800 it to we will. I'm sitting here thinking how I 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.240 cannot believe this happened. How I fucked up tremendously. I 0:05:07.400 --> 0:05:08.960 just want to let you know these are the changes 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:11.640 that will be made immediately. I finally have things running. 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.800 I'm excited to tell you I'm going to change our 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:17.200 lives instantly. Not only will I be adding storage space, 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.680 removing my things, I'll even look for a bigger condo 0:05:19.960 --> 0:05:21.880 with a terrorist so we can enjoy the breakfast that 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:22.400 you've wanted. 0:05:22.560 --> 0:05:23.640 I will also make. 0:05:23.480 --> 0:05:26.880 Sure that I will be communicating this with your parents 0:05:26.920 --> 0:05:29.240 and showing them that I love you, not making them 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.920 confused about your place in my life. I also want 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:33.960 to let you know I will cut off all of 0:05:34.000 --> 0:05:36.039 the women on my Instagram like you've asked me to, 0:05:36.360 --> 0:05:39.240 to truly make you feel safe, and tomorrow I will 0:05:39.279 --> 0:05:41.200 post you because I want the world to see you. 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:43.200 I also know by the way she used to have 0:05:43.240 --> 0:05:44.839 a dog. She got rid of the dog because he 0:05:44.839 --> 0:05:47.799 was allergic. I started to take allergy pills. I didn't 0:05:47.880 --> 0:05:50.640 tell you yet. You can bring him back. I already 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:52.840 asked the doctor to get things going. I know he's 0:05:52.920 --> 0:05:55.400 part of our family. He makes you happy. Please hold 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:56.880 off on moving things for a little bit so I 0:05:56.880 --> 0:05:58.240 can have a chance to see you in person. 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:00.960 Bitch Blockdom was like, oh now he could do shit. 0:06:01.240 --> 0:06:04.080 Girl Blocks asked right now. He showed up on her 0:06:04.080 --> 0:06:05.680 Mama Dorsett when she flew up to New York to 0:06:05.680 --> 0:06:06.080 come get. 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:08.680 The shit, and that's how you know. 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.279 The whole time she complained and he was like, I 0:06:13.279 --> 0:06:14.960 don't know what you're talking about. It's in your head, 0:06:14.960 --> 0:06:16.400 blah blah blah blah blah. And now you got the 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:18.200 laundry list of shit you didn't do. This is my 0:06:18.240 --> 0:06:20.839 favorite part, and I said. When she sent this to me, 0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:22.320 I said, I hope this didn't make you feel like 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:25.960 you made the right decision or the wrong decision, because 0:06:25.960 --> 0:06:27.240 now he's doing what you want. She goes, no, I 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:29.520 did the right thing. By the way, I know you 0:06:29.560 --> 0:06:31.640 need to hear it. This is all caps, the font 0:06:31.680 --> 0:06:35.000 size at forty eight point. I love you so fucking much. 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:36.919 I don't know if I've ever been able to say this. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:38.719 I'll never give up on you. I know I have 0:06:38.760 --> 0:06:41.080 a problem communicating it. I'm so in love with you. 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:43.400 I'm so sorry. I don't know how my heart couldn't 0:06:43.440 --> 0:06:46.600 say it. I will tell you this fissed me off. 0:06:47.360 --> 0:06:50.680 I was healing from a challenging previous relationship which broke me, 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:53.520 making me feel like I wasn't enough for them. Maybe 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.560 that's what left me lacking in this. I wish I 0:06:56.560 --> 0:06:59.040 could relive going back on our first date to tell 0:06:59.080 --> 0:07:00.880 you are it and make it you feel worthy. I 0:07:00.880 --> 0:07:02.960 am fully confident and standing tall as a man to 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:04.440 let you know I'm here to take care of you 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:08.880 and love you fully. You fuck nigga, I've been awaiting 0:07:09.760 --> 0:07:11.400 and now not only do you want to buy me 0:07:11.400 --> 0:07:13.320 a whole new dresser drawer, you want to get a 0:07:13.320 --> 0:07:16.680 new apartment for me. But this is also just just 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:21.320 words to try to be Yeah, this is manipulation that 0:07:21.360 --> 0:07:22.520 it's at its finest. 0:07:22.880 --> 0:07:24.200 I could not be leaving. 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:26.440 I'm discussing. 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.680 You were watching this on video on Patreon the ald 0:07:29.720 --> 0:07:30.720 time she was reading it. 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:32.760 Discuss it, bro. 0:07:32.840 --> 0:07:34.240 When I woke up and saw this because she was 0:07:34.240 --> 0:07:35.800 getting on the plane in New York and said I just. 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.720 Received this, I said, I am from the pit of 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:40.400 my stomach. 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:46.960 I almost felt like very nothing because when she said 0:07:46.960 --> 0:07:50.400 to me, he's not gonna let me leave, I see 0:07:50.400 --> 0:07:53.160 what she means, because what's going to happen. She must 0:07:53.200 --> 0:07:55.640 have tried to do something before where he was like, 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.440 I'll give you what you want and yeah, and men 0:07:58.520 --> 0:07:59.360 do this to women. 0:07:59.560 --> 0:08:01.360 They do a lot like this. 0:08:01.440 --> 0:08:04.680 Shit made me so sad, bro. So anyway, here's the 0:08:04.720 --> 0:08:09.320 awkward part. So my nigga got a car, so she 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:11.320 was like, can he come help us? I'm like, sure, 0:08:11.360 --> 0:08:13.320 he's sleeping in the next room because he had to 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:17.240 be here today. And I was like, well, now that 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:18.640 you broke up with him, and he flew to your 0:08:18.680 --> 0:08:21.400 mama house, bitch. He not about to stay down South. 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:23.800 He gonna come back to New York. So she's telling 0:08:23.840 --> 0:08:28.920 me we got to see this thing. She's like, yeah, 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:31.480 I don't care. So my man is like, Bro, I 0:08:31.520 --> 0:08:32.319 was a grown man. 0:08:32.400 --> 0:08:33.840 I can't I can't. 0:08:33.640 --> 0:08:35.080 Face the we even on double dates. 0:08:35.080 --> 0:08:36.040 He's like, what am I supposed to do? 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:37.520 Just look at him and face be like, hey, bro, 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:41.120 like I this is gonna be so awkward many So 0:08:41.120 --> 0:08:42.840 the update will come at town all today. 0:08:42.960 --> 0:08:44.400 I'm just like, you. 0:08:44.480 --> 0:08:47.439 Just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon, 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:50.200 But why it's up there? Tap in for the full, 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:54.200 uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. Go to 0:08:54.240 --> 0:08:58.920 patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy, 0:08:59.040 --> 0:09:04.120 t wild story and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. 0:09:04.640 --> 0:09:08.160 And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like 0:09:08.240 --> 0:09:10.000 to have us answer your questions. 0:09:10.240 --> 0:09:13.560 If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:18.319 a terrible throatfle guess what You've got decisions. 0:09:19.000 --> 0:09:21.439 You've got Decisions. 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:24.199 Welcome back, y'all. This is our episode. 0:09:24.240 --> 0:09:27.199 Every single Homesday where we take your listener questions and 0:09:27.320 --> 0:09:29.480 if you want to submit the questions, go to decisions 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.120 pod at gmail dot com. 0:09:31.240 --> 0:09:33.679 If you need it in a hurry, go to. 0:09:33.640 --> 0:09:36.960 Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions because we prioritize the 0:09:37.040 --> 0:09:40.560 messages there and we answer y'all niggas first. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:48.000 That's right, and this one specifically is coming from a patron. 0:09:48.440 --> 0:09:49.720 And girls messy. 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:53.319 Oh I love a goodness is messy and. 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.280 Also curious what you would do in the scenario. So 0:09:57.040 --> 0:09:58.079 let's get into it. 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:00.720 Okay, all right? 0:10:01.760 --> 0:10:06.120 So I met my man almost two years ago. He's twenty, 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:09.240 I'm twenty two, and now we're twenty two and twenty four. 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:14.360 Thanks for doing the math. He's from LA and I 0:10:14.440 --> 0:10:18.240 live around Dayton, Ohio. He's out here for college, but 0:10:18.360 --> 0:10:22.240 lost his basketball scholarship right before we met, so he's 0:10:22.320 --> 0:10:24.880 kind of stuck out here. His family doesn't have a 0:10:24.880 --> 0:10:27.160 lot of money, and he can't really just go. 0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:27.920 Back to LA. 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:33.080 Last year we had an accident quote unquote, oh boy, 0:10:33.240 --> 0:10:33.839 So I. 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:34.560 Got an abortion. 0:10:35.160 --> 0:10:39.640 Okay, I don't want children under any circumstances whatsoever. 0:10:40.240 --> 0:10:41.600 And where are you go? 0:10:42.760 --> 0:10:45.880 Well, they're young, bitch, they're two and twenty four. He 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:50.400 was not ready or really on the same page either. Okay, 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.480 at the time, I also just lost my job and 0:10:54.559 --> 0:10:57.480 had to take out a loan, and overall we dug 0:10:57.520 --> 0:11:01.240 ourselves into a hole. He's younger than meat and fresh 0:11:01.280 --> 0:11:04.640 out of college, but I don't expect him to fully 0:11:04.720 --> 0:11:08.240 financially support me yet and I do own my house 0:11:08.520 --> 0:11:09.760 where he lives. 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:14.880 With me anywhere house, cars, homes. 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.560 This past year has been hard, but we're finally catching 0:11:18.640 --> 0:11:19.520 up with things. 0:11:19.960 --> 0:11:20.559 He gives me. 0:11:20.559 --> 0:11:23.920 All of his paychecks if I ask, and he just 0:11:24.000 --> 0:11:27.559 put two thousand dollars down payment on a twenty twenty 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:33.040 five Corolla for me and got a beater off Facebook marketplace, 0:11:33.400 --> 0:11:37.000 so we both have cars. We were doing so well, 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:41.640 love each other very much like best friends. And oh 0:11:41.720 --> 0:11:45.080 and we both eat each other's ass. Joe christ y'all 0:11:45.120 --> 0:11:51.560 are killing me. Love the deets you ready until yesterday 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.920 when I got the mail and there was an envelope 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:57.240 from child support. 0:11:57.520 --> 0:11:59.319 Bitch. I'll know you lie, oh bitch. 0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:02.720 As soon as he got home, I asked him who 0:12:02.720 --> 0:12:05.640 the fuck is this bitch, and he said it was 0:12:05.640 --> 0:12:10.319 his ex from almost three years ago, and he knew she. 0:12:10.400 --> 0:12:14.160 Had a baby. Oh, but he didn't think it was 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:16.640 his because she was cheating on. 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:20.040 Him with at least three other guys. 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:28.240 The fraternity test isn't for almost another month, but he's nervous, 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.640 but also doesn't think it's his girl. 0:12:31.720 --> 0:12:33.559 None of these niggas ever think the baby is theirs. 0:12:33.640 --> 0:12:36.120 Okay, girl, so here we go. 0:12:36.320 --> 0:12:37.440 You thought the pussy was there. 0:12:37.960 --> 0:12:41.280 The kid is like two years old. Though I wasn't 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:45.720 cheated on, I was still hurt. But he also didn't know. 0:12:46.760 --> 0:12:50.480 And although I don't want kids whatsoever, it hurts me 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:54.120 that some other girl may already have one by him. 0:12:54.440 --> 0:12:56.720 I get that, because you want to not have to 0:12:56.720 --> 0:12:57.520 do this shit to get that. 0:12:57.520 --> 0:13:00.640 I get that. I'm very confused and obviously upset. 0:13:01.120 --> 0:13:03.760 I don't know how I should feel or what I 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:06.839 should do in the event that the child is actually his. 0:13:07.679 --> 0:13:10.720 Can you guys give me advice on how to navigate 0:13:10.760 --> 0:13:11.439 the situation. 0:13:12.280 --> 0:13:16.320 So I guess the two questions we're answering is you 0:13:16.440 --> 0:13:18.880 not knowing how you should feel and maybe us going 0:13:18.920 --> 0:13:23.000 through that, and then how you should navigate this in 0:13:23.080 --> 0:13:27.280 the event that it's his child. Also, it's interesting because 0:13:27.320 --> 0:13:31.000 you don't want kids right now. But you're hurt because 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.520 some other girl now has it with him, So there's 0:13:33.559 --> 0:13:36.920 a lot of emotions here. I think that you are 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:43.120 in your right to feel confused, to be upset. But 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:45.960 I think that if you love this man, he's your 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:49.440 best friend, and y'all have gotten to a place where 0:13:50.120 --> 0:13:53.920 you're showing up in each other's lives honestly and really 0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:57.520 like navigating this relationship in a healthy space, I think. 0:13:59.040 --> 0:14:00.840 And this is going to be so mature of me, 0:14:01.480 --> 0:14:03.120 and I don't know if you're mature enough at twenty 0:14:03.120 --> 0:14:07.439 four to actually do this, But consider the whirlwind of 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:14.559 emotions he's going through, like bitch, the envelope just landed 0:14:14.600 --> 0:14:18.720 on his doorstep too. I kind of agree, because like, like, 0:14:18.800 --> 0:14:20.760 we don't often consider like. 0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:27.320 At first, I don't you said child before listener that oh, 0:14:27.440 --> 0:14:31.240 like he knew he had his baby. Now would I 0:14:31.280 --> 0:14:34.320 be having sleepless nights comparing and contrasting. 0:14:33.840 --> 0:14:35.880 That niggas nose and that baby nose like Maury? 0:14:36.200 --> 0:14:39.480 Yes, But I will tell you if this happened to 0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:43.920 me today and I genuinely believed my partner wasn't lying 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:45.360 to me, of course I would stay with him. 0:14:46.360 --> 0:14:47.920 Oh yeah, I guess that was gonna be the question 0:14:48.040 --> 0:14:51.960 I was gonna ask you, Like, if this, say you 0:14:51.960 --> 0:14:54.120 know you've been with your partner, I don't know two years. 0:14:54.520 --> 0:14:58.600 Say an ex from four years ago came and was 0:14:58.680 --> 0:15:00.960 like this maybe yours. 0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:04.120 I would hate this. I would not want it. I 0:15:04.120 --> 0:15:04.680 would like. 0:15:04.680 --> 0:15:08.600 Be you know, angry with him, saying he's irresponsible. But 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:12.040 I don't think I would leave him, mainly because, okay, 0:15:12.880 --> 0:15:15.280 I would date a guy with kids one and two. 0:15:15.960 --> 0:15:19.480 Even if I wouldn't, is my partner worth throwing away 0:15:20.800 --> 0:15:23.560 for a life you brought into this world before me, 0:15:23.720 --> 0:15:26.640 I wasn't feeded on now. The thing is, the only 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:30.680 way that I would not want to make that decision. 0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:33.160 Is if. 0:15:34.640 --> 0:15:37.200 I knew I didn't want to be a stepmother. Okay, 0:15:37.920 --> 0:15:40.400 I don't like kids. If that was the case, I 0:15:40.440 --> 0:15:41.200 don't believe that. 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:42.960 Like I have a few. 0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:46.040 Homegirls that just don't really vibe with kids. Teenagers maybe, 0:15:46.040 --> 0:15:49.000 but they just it's not their thing. Okay, it's a 0:15:49.000 --> 0:15:51.040 bit unfair to date somebody with a kid. And I'll 0:15:51.040 --> 0:15:55.760 tell you why. When people are dating my friends with 0:15:55.880 --> 0:16:00.520 children and waste their time, I have the very strong 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:01.400 opinion about that. 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:04.840 You grown ass biggas is dating single baby mom? 0:16:04.920 --> 0:16:06.920 Like you know what I'm saying, And you find with 0:16:07.000 --> 0:16:08.960 it when y'all fucking having a good time and then 0:16:09.000 --> 0:16:11.920 when it comes time to show up for that kid 0:16:12.080 --> 0:16:14.040 or show up and I'm talking not talking about six 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:15.920 months in or some shit like that, like actually just 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.480 show up as a partner dating someone with a kid. 0:16:18.960 --> 0:16:19.560 Okay. 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:21.480 I find it to be selfish, and so I think 0:16:21.520 --> 0:16:23.720 that we can't be selfish if we know we can't 0:16:23.760 --> 0:16:30.160 spand fucking kids. 0:16:31.720 --> 0:16:36.960 Now here's my other question. Would is there any feelings 0:16:36.960 --> 0:16:39.280 you would have about not. 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:40.640 Being the first baby mom? 0:16:41.200 --> 0:16:44.360 I think she was navigating that too, Like there's another 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:48.320 woman who has this man's first child. But we're together, 0:16:48.840 --> 0:16:52.320 Like if that was a goal in your mind, right, Like, 0:16:52.920 --> 0:16:56.600 you and your partner right now don't have kids. 0:16:56.440 --> 0:16:56.920 Neither of you. 0:16:57.640 --> 0:17:01.160 So has there been any like excitement around both of 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:04.000 you being first time parents together? Oh oh yeah, we talked 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.320 about that, all of us. That's what I'm saying. If 0:17:06.359 --> 0:17:09.720 it happened like this, that could be a potential. 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.879 But he never got to be a parent with that 0:17:11.960 --> 0:17:15.280 baby anyway, right, Like, Okay, but to me, that's a 0:17:15.320 --> 0:17:19.200 different experience, Like I just saw one of my friends. 0:17:19.400 --> 0:17:20.360 Her name's a Kishian. 0:17:21.040 --> 0:17:23.600 She she's a writer on key TV too, not the 0:17:23.600 --> 0:17:25.560 one that everybody's mad at for the Southern fried rice, 0:17:26.080 --> 0:17:29.880 but shout out to her too. So basically, she posted 0:17:29.880 --> 0:17:34.760 her man opening his birthday gifts okay, beautiful, like, oh 0:17:34.800 --> 0:17:36.960 my god, this video like I screen recorded it because 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:38.399 her page is private, and I told her, I was 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:39.879 like this, this might be one of the best baby 0:17:39.880 --> 0:17:44.600 reveals I've ever seen. He opens it and he's like what, 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:48.040 And then she's like, read it. And I'm watching this 0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:52.000 grown ass man read this thing like daddy, I can't 0:17:52.000 --> 0:17:54.320 wait to meet you. I can't wait for us to cuddle. 0:17:54.600 --> 0:17:56.640 We're gonna have so much fun in this world together. 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:57.159 Da da da da. 0:17:57.760 --> 0:18:02.080 And he's just like, you know, just silently crying and smiling. 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:05.400 And I showed my boyfriend. He goes, damn, it must 0:18:05.440 --> 0:18:08.040 feel so good when you want to have a baby 0:18:08.080 --> 0:18:10.960 with someone, when you plan a pregnancy, when you talk 0:18:11.000 --> 0:18:12.440 about your life. He's like, because we don't get to 0:18:12.480 --> 0:18:14.160 see this shit. We see this shit when it's white 0:18:14.160 --> 0:18:17.120 people or older couples or married couples. You don't see 0:18:17.119 --> 0:18:20.720 this young black love shit with the fucking surprise and love. 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:25.040 I mean, I think I've talked about it, maybe on Patreon, 0:18:25.400 --> 0:18:31.720 but in the last I would say in the last year, 0:18:32.520 --> 0:18:34.800 maybe last two years, because now people are having babies 0:18:35.280 --> 0:18:36.359 in the last two years. 0:18:37.720 --> 0:18:38.920 I can literally name you. 0:18:41.560 --> 0:18:45.919 Six women just with six women that all got impregnated 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.600 and chose to have a baby with a man that 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:50.000 they knew for three. 0:18:49.880 --> 0:18:50.640 Months or less. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:54.600 Fuck, so you don't know this man. You don't truly 0:18:54.680 --> 0:18:56.919 know their living situation. You don't know their lies yet 0:18:56.960 --> 0:18:59.119 because but you only known him for I don't know 0:18:59.160 --> 0:18:59.520 the lies. 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:01.679 You don't even know the lies yet. 0:19:02.040 --> 0:19:03.080 The lives are coming out. 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:06.119 Why you pray not to mention Mandy, You don't know 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:07.800 them how they're going to be as a parent, do 0:19:07.840 --> 0:19:11.440 you know? For the first time, yesterday I'm a godmother 0:19:11.520 --> 0:19:15.200 to a new baby. His name is Zaye, and Zane 0:19:15.520 --> 0:19:18.400 came over and Zane also has two sisters, and it's 0:19:18.440 --> 0:19:22.399 they're six and two Inzane is two months. So my 0:19:22.440 --> 0:19:25.360 homegirl's mom is on the couch with us, this little 0:19:25.400 --> 0:19:26.160 country white lady. 0:19:26.160 --> 0:19:26.840 She's really sweet. 0:19:26.880 --> 0:19:29.000