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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of Horrible Decision.

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Speaker 2: We are back, y'all.

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Speaker 3: It's been nice to record remotely because we can do

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Speaker 3: them on time. We give you the solo, y'all, niggas,

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Speaker 3: won't we could get you see the updates.

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Speaker 4: I had a little things going on.

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Speaker 5: Chout out to tea antymo with me today.

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Speaker 3: I had to ask me Andy reschedule because my homegirl

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Speaker 3: leaving a fuck nigga, and she said, I need you

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Speaker 3: to help me move out on Monday. I said, okay,

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Speaker 3: she said, and we need to do it, not her

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Speaker 3: moving out on the first, oh, because she wanted to

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Speaker 3: make sure she do before her nigga come back from

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Speaker 3: Thanksgiving break.

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Speaker 5: So ooh, that was going.

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Speaker 3: I just woke to when I say, get you some sheets.

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Speaker 3: Wait a second, how bad?

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Speaker 2: I asked?

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Speaker 4: How bad this nigga?

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Speaker 1: I need to know what level of fuck nigga he

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Speaker 1: is for her to be leaving before he returns.

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Speaker 4: So then it's also given maybe abusive, like what the fuck?

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Speaker 5: But low KEI, this is what I asked him. We

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Speaker 5: can talk about. She's like, yeah, just don't say my name.

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Speaker 3: So I'd say for the last six months to a year,

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Speaker 3: you know, when a relationship feels like it's on that end.

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Speaker 5: She's felt that for a while.

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Speaker 3: Okay, I had a lot of comments to me like fuck,

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Speaker 3: I just feel like when I'm ready to make the

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Speaker 3: move for myself, he doesn't let me go, and he

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Speaker 3: won't let me go where he says something to suck

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Speaker 3: me in and I just can't free myself from it.

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Speaker 3: So there's a few things that are just minor but

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Speaker 3: that have bothered her. They've lived together for over a

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Speaker 3: year and a half and she still doesn't have designated

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Speaker 3: space in the house. There's a lot of times where

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Speaker 3: he makes her feel like she's stepping over his closet

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Speaker 3: or his drawers, or there's too much of her around,

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Speaker 3: even though she moved into his home and was invited,

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Speaker 3: she says, he's like, oh my god, Yila, Like sometimes

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Speaker 3: I'll just be like, oh, well, you leave your stuff here.

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Speaker 3: She literally has a suitcase sometimes that she uses.

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Speaker 5: It's so weird. It's weird. It's weird. It's weird. I know.

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Speaker 3: She's like it almost became a norm to where like

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Speaker 3: he's like, I'm going to get a dresser. Oh well,

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Speaker 3: we're not going to live in this place forever. Well,

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Speaker 3: i'll get this, I'll add storage.

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Speaker 5: It's weird.

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Speaker 3: The other thing, he hasn't made the initiative to take

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Speaker 3: them on a vacation.

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Speaker 4: Okay, wait, real quick too.

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Speaker 2: They've been together how long?

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Speaker 5: About two years? She moved in after a year.

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Speaker 3: Okay, so she let him know she wants to qualification,

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Speaker 3: and basically he's like, i'll planet it all planet, all planet.

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Speaker 3: And it hasn't happened. They haven't been anywhere in a year.

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Speaker 3: He's just prioritizing everything else but that he's a finance bro.

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Speaker 3: And the last thing she says, that I love you

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Speaker 3: isn't a common word or saying unless she feels that

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Speaker 3: it's a dire needn't know how to exclusively say I'm

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Speaker 3: in love with you, I love you unless they're in

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Speaker 3: some kind of contention or she isn't feeling well, she

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel that she's getting the I love you's whenever

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Speaker 3: they come over the phone or whatever. She's very strange thing.

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Speaker 3: It's almost like he's not into me.

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Speaker 5: It's weird.

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Speaker 2: It's weird.

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Speaker 5: It's weird. It's weird.

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Speaker 3: Now I know what she means, because when we have

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Speaker 3: that feeling, it's unexplainable and you sound crazy saying it,

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Speaker 3: but you know, when a nigga is supposed to be

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Speaker 3: doing what they're doing. I think for my judgment, he's

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Speaker 3: just like, all right, well, I'm stuck in the cycle.

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Speaker 5: We live together, you cook, you clean, you help me out.

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Speaker 5: We're in a couple.

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Speaker 3: We're going through the motions, and she feels no passion.

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Speaker 3: So she finally calls me and she goes, I'm gonna

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Speaker 3: do it. I feel brave enough to do it. I'm

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Speaker 3: going to break up with him. I have the balls

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Speaker 3: to do it. I'm gonna take my shit out before

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Speaker 3: he gets home.

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Speaker 5: That way, he won't.

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Speaker 3: Convince me to stay, because I get really weak when

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Speaker 3: he convinces me to This is how sick niggas are.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna read you that. I'm listening because I have

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Speaker 4: a thought in my head right now.

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Speaker 3: She's had a lot of conversations with him, by the way,

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Speaker 3: suggesting couple's therapy, expressing her needs, telling she wants more,

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Speaker 3: just just all kinds of shit, just saying so. She

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Speaker 3: feels like some things that are lacking. So she sends

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Speaker 3: him a message saying she wants to get on a call.

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Speaker 3: He wrote back, busy, it's the holiday, which is crazy.

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Speaker 3: She was she had to be with her family, by

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Speaker 3: the way, and he could.

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Speaker 4: Okay, that was the part of my question because I'm like,

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Speaker 4: spend holidays.

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Speaker 3: Together before, but there was a there was something going

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Speaker 3: on with her family. She had to be there, so

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Speaker 3: long story, She goes, you know what, fine, I can't

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Speaker 3: do this anymore. I felt like for a long time

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Speaker 3: we haven't had We're not aligned. There's been a missing

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Speaker 3: like judgment and compatibility. I think we had a really like,

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Speaker 3: you know, fun romance in the first six months, and

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Speaker 3: like it's it's lacking. This Nigga texts her a letter

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Speaker 3: bit and this is how you know, if you want

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Speaker 3: it to we will. I'm sitting here thinking how I

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Speaker 3: cannot believe this happened. How I fucked up tremendously. I

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Speaker 3: just want to let you know these are the changes

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Speaker 3: that will be made immediately. I finally have things running.

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Speaker 3: I'm excited to tell you I'm going to change our

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Speaker 3: lives instantly. Not only will I be adding storage space,

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Speaker 3: removing my things, I'll even look for a bigger condo

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Speaker 3: with a terrorist so we can enjoy the breakfast that

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Speaker 3: you've wanted.

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Speaker 5: I will also make.

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Speaker 3: Sure that I will be communicating this with your parents

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Speaker 3: and showing them that I love you, not making them

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Speaker 3: confused about your place in my life. I also want

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Speaker 3: to let you know I will cut off all of

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Speaker 3: the women on my Instagram like you've asked me to,

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Speaker 3: to truly make you feel safe, and tomorrow I will

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Speaker 3: post you because I want the world to see you.

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Speaker 3: I also know by the way she used to have

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Speaker 3: a dog. She got rid of the dog because he

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Speaker 3: was allergic. I started to take allergy pills. I didn't

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Speaker 3: tell you yet. You can bring him back. I already

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Speaker 3: asked the doctor to get things going. I know he's

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Speaker 3: part of our family. He makes you happy. Please hold

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Speaker 3: off on moving things for a little bit so I

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Speaker 3: can have a chance to see you in person.

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Speaker 5: Bitch Blockdom was like, oh now he could do shit.

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Speaker 3: Girl Blocks asked right now. He showed up on her

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Speaker 3: Mama Dorsett when she flew up to New York to

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Speaker 3: come get.

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Speaker 5: The shit, and that's how you know.

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Speaker 3: The whole time she complained and he was like, I

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Speaker 3: don't know what you're talking about. It's in your head,

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Speaker 3: blah blah blah blah blah. And now you got the

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Speaker 3: laundry list of shit you didn't do. This is my

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Speaker 3: favorite part, and I said. When she sent this to me,

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Speaker 3: I said, I hope this didn't make you feel like

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Speaker 3: you made the right decision or the wrong decision, because

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Speaker 3: now he's doing what you want. She goes, no, I

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Speaker 3: did the right thing. By the way, I know you

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Speaker 3: need to hear it. This is all caps, the font

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Speaker 3: size at forty eight point. I love you so fucking much.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if I've ever been able to say this.

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Speaker 3: I'll never give up on you. I know I have

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Speaker 3: a problem communicating it. I'm so in love with you.

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry. I don't know how my heart couldn't

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Speaker 3: say it. I will tell you this fissed me off.

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Speaker 3: I was healing from a challenging previous relationship which broke me,

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Speaker 3: making me feel like I wasn't enough for them. Maybe

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Speaker 3: that's what left me lacking in this. I wish I

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Speaker 3: could relive going back on our first date to tell

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Speaker 3: you are it and make it you feel worthy. I

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Speaker 3: am fully confident and standing tall as a man to

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Speaker 3: let you know I'm here to take care of you

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Speaker 3: and love you fully. You fuck nigga, I've been awaiting

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Speaker 3: and now not only do you want to buy me

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Speaker 3: a whole new dresser drawer, you want to get a

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Speaker 3: new apartment for me. But this is also just just

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Speaker 3: words to try to be Yeah, this is manipulation that

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Speaker 3: it's at its finest.

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Speaker 5: I could not be leaving.

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Speaker 4: I'm discussing.

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Speaker 1: You were watching this on video on Patreon the ald

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Speaker 1: time she was reading it.

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Speaker 4: Discuss it, bro.

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Speaker 3: When I woke up and saw this because she was

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Speaker 3: getting on the plane in New York and said I just.

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Speaker 5: Received this, I said, I am from the pit of

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Speaker 5: my stomach.

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Speaker 3: I almost felt like very nothing because when she said

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Speaker 3: to me, he's not gonna let me leave, I see

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Speaker 3: what she means, because what's going to happen. She must

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Speaker 3: have tried to do something before where he was like,

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Speaker 3: I'll give you what you want and yeah, and men

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Speaker 3: do this to women.

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Speaker 4: They do a lot like this.

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Speaker 3: Shit made me so sad, bro. So anyway, here's the

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Speaker 3: awkward part. So my nigga got a car, so she

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Speaker 3: was like, can he come help us? I'm like, sure,

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Speaker 3: he's sleeping in the next room because he had to

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Speaker 3: be here today. And I was like, well, now that

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Speaker 3: you broke up with him, and he flew to your

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Speaker 3: mama house, bitch. He not about to stay down South.

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Speaker 3: He gonna come back to New York. So she's telling

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Speaker 3: me we got to see this thing. She's like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't care. So my man is like, Bro, I

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Speaker 3: was a grown man.

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Speaker 5: I can't I can't.

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Speaker 4: Face the we even on double dates.

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Speaker 5: He's like, what am I supposed to do?

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Speaker 3: Just look at him and face be like, hey, bro,

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Speaker 3: like I this is gonna be so awkward many So

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Speaker 3: the update will come at town all today.

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Speaker 5: I'm just like, you.

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Speaker 1: Just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon,

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Speaker 1: But why it's up there? Tap in for the full,

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Speaker 1: uncut and way nastier episodes over on Patreon. Go to

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Speaker 1: patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions and unlike all the messy,

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Speaker 1: t wild story and bonus content you won't hear anywhere else.

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Speaker 1: And now here's You've Got Decisions if you would like

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Speaker 1: to have us answer your questions.

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Speaker 3: If you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or

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Speaker 3: a terrible throatfle guess what You've got decisions.

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Speaker 1: You've got Decisions.

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Speaker 5: Welcome back, y'all. This is our episode.

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Speaker 3: Every single Homesday where we take your listener questions and

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Speaker 3: if you want to submit the questions, go to decisions

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Speaker 3: pod at gmail dot com.

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Speaker 2: If you need it in a hurry, go to.

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Speaker 3: Patreon dot com backslash Horrible Decisions because we prioritize the

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Speaker 3: messages there and we answer y'all niggas first.

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Speaker 1: That's right, and this one specifically is coming from a patron.

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Speaker 2: And girls messy.

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Speaker 5: Oh I love a goodness is messy and.

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Speaker 1: Also curious what you would do in the scenario. So

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Speaker 1: let's get into it.

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Speaker 5: Okay, all right?

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Speaker 1: So I met my man almost two years ago. He's twenty,

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Speaker 1: I'm twenty two, and now we're twenty two and twenty four.

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Speaker 1: Thanks for doing the math. He's from LA and I

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Speaker 1: live around Dayton, Ohio. He's out here for college, but

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Speaker 1: lost his basketball scholarship right before we met, so he's

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Speaker 1: kind of stuck out here. His family doesn't have a

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Speaker 1: lot of money, and he can't really just go.

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Speaker 2: Back to LA.

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Speaker 4: Last year we had an accident quote unquote, oh boy,

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Speaker 4: So I.

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Speaker 2: Got an abortion.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I don't want children under any circumstances whatsoever.

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Speaker 2: And where are you go?

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Speaker 1: Well, they're young, bitch, they're two and twenty four. He

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Speaker 1: was not ready or really on the same page either. Okay,

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Speaker 1: at the time, I also just lost my job and

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Speaker 1: had to take out a loan, and overall we dug

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Speaker 1: ourselves into a hole. He's younger than meat and fresh

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Speaker 1: out of college, but I don't expect him to fully

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Speaker 1: financially support me yet and I do own my house

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Speaker 1: where he lives.

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Speaker 5: With me anywhere house, cars, homes.

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Speaker 1: This past year has been hard, but we're finally catching

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Speaker 1: up with things.

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Speaker 2: He gives me.

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Speaker 1: All of his paychecks if I ask, and he just

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Speaker 1: put two thousand dollars down payment on a twenty twenty

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Speaker 1: five Corolla for me and got a beater off Facebook marketplace,

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Speaker 1: so we both have cars. We were doing so well,

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Speaker 1: love each other very much like best friends. And oh

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Speaker 1: and we both eat each other's ass. Joe christ y'all

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Speaker 1: are killing me. Love the deets you ready until yesterday

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Speaker 1: when I got the mail and there was an envelope

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Speaker 1: from child support.

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Speaker 5: Bitch. I'll know you lie, oh bitch.

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Speaker 1: As soon as he got home, I asked him who

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Speaker 1: the fuck is this bitch, and he said it was

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Speaker 1: his ex from almost three years ago, and he knew she.

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Speaker 4: Had a baby. Oh, but he didn't think it was

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Speaker 4: his because she was cheating on.

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Speaker 2: Him with at least three other guys.

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Speaker 1: The fraternity test isn't for almost another month, but he's nervous,

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Speaker 1: but also doesn't think it's his girl.

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Speaker 4: None of these niggas ever think the baby is theirs.

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Speaker 2: Okay, girl, so here we go.

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Speaker 5: You thought the pussy was there.

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Speaker 1: The kid is like two years old. Though I wasn't

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Speaker 1: cheated on, I was still hurt. But he also didn't know.

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Speaker 1: And although I don't want kids whatsoever, it hurts me

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Speaker 1: that some other girl may already have one by him.

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Speaker 5: I get that, because you want to not have to

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Speaker 5: do this shit to get that.

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Speaker 4: I get that. I'm very confused and obviously upset.

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Speaker 1: I don't know how I should feel or what I

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Speaker 1: should do in the event that the child is actually his.

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Speaker 4: Can you guys give me advice on how to navigate

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Speaker 4: the situation.

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Speaker 1: So I guess the two questions we're answering is you

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Speaker 1: not knowing how you should feel and maybe us going

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Speaker 1: through that, and then how you should navigate this in

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Speaker 1: the event that it's his child. Also, it's interesting because

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Speaker 1: you don't want kids right now. But you're hurt because

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Speaker 1: some other girl now has it with him, So there's

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Speaker 1: a lot of emotions here. I think that you are

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Speaker 1: in your right to feel confused, to be upset. But

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Speaker 1: I think that if you love this man, he's your

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Speaker 1: best friend, and y'all have gotten to a place where

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Speaker 1: you're showing up in each other's lives honestly and really

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Speaker 1: like navigating this relationship in a healthy space, I think.

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Speaker 1: And this is going to be so mature of me,

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Speaker 1: and I don't know if you're mature enough at twenty

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Speaker 1: four to actually do this, But consider the whirlwind of

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Speaker 1: emotions he's going through, like bitch, the envelope just landed

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Speaker 1: on his doorstep too. I kind of agree, because like, like,

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Speaker 1: we don't often consider like.

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Speaker 3: At first, I don't you said child before listener that oh,

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Speaker 3: like he knew he had his baby. Now would I

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Speaker 3: be having sleepless nights comparing and contrasting.

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Speaker 5: That niggas nose and that baby nose like Maury?

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Speaker 3: Yes, But I will tell you if this happened to

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Speaker 3: me today and I genuinely believed my partner wasn't lying

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Speaker 3: to me, of course I would stay with him.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I guess that was gonna be the question

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Speaker 1: I was gonna ask you, Like, if this, say you

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Speaker 1: know you've been with your partner, I don't know two years.

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Speaker 1: Say an ex from four years ago came and was

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Speaker 1: like this maybe yours.

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Speaker 5: I would hate this. I would not want it. I

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Speaker 5: would like.

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Speaker 3: Be you know, angry with him, saying he's irresponsible. But

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Speaker 3: I don't think I would leave him, mainly because, okay,

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Speaker 3: I would date a guy with kids one and two.

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Speaker 3: Even if I wouldn't, is my partner worth throwing away

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Speaker 3: for a life you brought into this world before me,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't feeded on now. The thing is, the only

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Speaker 3: way that I would not want to make that decision.

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Speaker 5: Is if.

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Speaker 3: I knew I didn't want to be a stepmother. Okay,

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Speaker 3: I don't like kids. If that was the case, I

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Speaker 3: don't believe that.

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Speaker 5: Like I have a few.

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Speaker 3: Homegirls that just don't really vibe with kids. Teenagers maybe,

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Speaker 3: but they just it's not their thing. Okay, it's a

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Speaker 3: bit unfair to date somebody with a kid. And I'll

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Speaker 3: tell you why. When people are dating my friends with

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Speaker 3: children and waste their time, I have the very strong

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Speaker 3: opinion about that.

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Speaker 5: You grown ass biggas is dating single baby mom?

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Speaker 3: Like you know what I'm saying, And you find with

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Speaker 3: it when y'all fucking having a good time and then

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Speaker 3: when it comes time to show up for that kid

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Speaker 3: or show up and I'm talking not talking about six

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Speaker 3: months in or some shit like that, like actually just

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Speaker 3: show up as a partner dating someone with a kid.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: I find it to be selfish, and so I think

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Speaker 3: that we can't be selfish if we know we can't

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Speaker 3: spand fucking kids.

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Speaker 1: Now here's my other question. Would is there any feelings

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Speaker 1: you would have about not.

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Speaker 4: Being the first baby mom?

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Speaker 1: I think she was navigating that too, Like there's another

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Speaker 1: woman who has this man's first child. But we're together,

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Speaker 1: Like if that was a goal in your mind, right, Like,

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Speaker 1: you and your partner right now don't have kids.

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Speaker 2: Neither of you.

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Speaker 1: So has there been any like excitement around both of

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Speaker 1: you being first time parents together? Oh oh yeah, we talked

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Speaker 1: about that, all of us. That's what I'm saying. If

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Speaker 1: it happened like this, that could be a potential.

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Speaker 3: But he never got to be a parent with that

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Speaker 3: baby anyway, right, Like, Okay, but to me, that's a

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Speaker 3: different experience, Like I just saw one of my friends.

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Speaker 5: Her name's a Kishian.

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Speaker 3: She she's a writer on key TV too, not the

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Speaker 3: one that everybody's mad at for the Southern fried rice,

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Speaker 3: but shout out to her too. So basically, she posted

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Speaker 3: her man opening his birthday gifts okay, beautiful, like, oh

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Speaker 3: my god, this video like I screen recorded it because

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Speaker 3: her page is private, and I told her, I was

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Speaker 3: like this, this might be one of the best baby

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Speaker 3: reveals I've ever seen. He opens it and he's like what,

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Speaker 3: And then she's like, read it. And I'm watching this

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Speaker 3: grown ass man read this thing like daddy, I can't

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Speaker 3: wait to meet you. I can't wait for us to cuddle.

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Speaker 3: We're gonna have so much fun in this world together.

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Speaker 5: Da da da da.

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Speaker 3: And he's just like, you know, just silently crying and smiling.

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Speaker 3: And I showed my boyfriend. He goes, damn, it must

371
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Speaker 3: feel so good when you want to have a baby

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Speaker 3: with someone, when you plan a pregnancy, when you talk

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Speaker 3: about your life. He's like, because we don't get to

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Speaker 3: see this shit. We see this shit when it's white

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00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,120
Speaker 3: people or older couples or married couples. You don't see

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Speaker 3: this young black love shit with the fucking surprise and love.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I think I've talked about it, maybe on Patreon,

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Speaker 1: but in the last I would say in the last year,

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Speaker 1: maybe last two years, because now people are having babies

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Speaker 1: in the last two years.

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Speaker 2: I can literally name you.

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Speaker 1: Six women just with six women that all got impregnated

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Speaker 1: and chose to have a baby with a man that

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Speaker 1: they knew for three.

385
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Speaker 4: Months or less.

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Speaker 1: Fuck, so you don't know this man. You don't truly

387
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Speaker 1: know their living situation. You don't know their lies yet

388
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Speaker 1: because but you only known him for I don't know

389
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Speaker 1: the lies.

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Speaker 4: You don't even know the lies yet.

391
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Speaker 2: The lives are coming out.

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Speaker 3: Why you pray not to mention Mandy, You don't know

393
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Speaker 3: them how they're going to be as a parent, do

394
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:11,440
Speaker 3: you know? For the first time, yesterday I'm a godmother

395
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Speaker 3: to a new baby. His name is Zaye, and Zane

396
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Speaker 3: came over and Zane also has two sisters, and it's

397
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Speaker 3: they're six and two Inzane is two months. So my

398
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:25,360
Speaker 3: homegirl's mom is on the couch with us, this little

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Speaker 3: country white lady.

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Speaker 5: She's really sweet.

401
00:19:26,880 --> 00:19:29,000
Speaker 3: She goes and you know, I don't think there's anything

402
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Speaker 3: wrong with a whooping And I said me and my

403
00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:34,520
Speaker 3: nigger looked at me and I was like, do.

404
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:37,560
Speaker 5: You and he was like nope. And so when they.

405
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Speaker 3: Left, I was like, damn. We never talked about this before.

406
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Speaker 3: Were playing a child.

407
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Speaker 5: Yeah, and we're on the same page.

408
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Speaker 3: And what's interesting is like we've also had conversations about

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Speaker 3: people abusing their kids, boy.

410
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Speaker 5: Whooping them too, you know what I'm saying.

411
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Speaker 4: And I think we're on the same page.

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Speaker 1: I think it's interesting because I think what this can.

413
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Speaker 2: For the listener who wrote in.

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Speaker 1: Is, actually, you've been together for two years, you live

415
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Speaker 1: with each other, he's putting helping you with down payments

416
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 1: for his car. Y'all are building. Y'all are both very young,

417
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Speaker 1: twenty two and twenty four. But I think something like this,

418
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Speaker 1: the beauty in it could be it opening up to

419
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Speaker 1: you guys, having more of those hypothetical conversations like if

420
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Speaker 1: this happened, how would you respond, what would you do.

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Speaker 2: In this scenario? What would be the.

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Speaker 1: Way in which you you know, react like this is intense,

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Speaker 1: especially knowing that he's not the most financially sound, So

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Speaker 1: that's where I wanted to go next.

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Speaker 3: I think the conversation as well, not that paycheck ain't yours, bitch.

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Speaker 1: I think the conversation should be financially too. If this

427
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Speaker 1: is your baby financially, how do you planned to show

428
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Speaker 1: up as a man.

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Speaker 2: But also I would.

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Speaker 1: Assume as well, if this is your ex, you're in Dayton,

431
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Speaker 1: Ohio where he went to college and he didn't move back.

432
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Speaker 1: This is also an ex that might still be in La. Right,

433
00:21:13,760 --> 00:21:17,280
Speaker 1: so it's given me long distance. So are we willing

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Speaker 1: to we as a partnership now allow me to go

435
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Speaker 1: back to visit my child or bring that here?

436
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Speaker 5: How long two months do we find out that this

437
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Speaker 5: is his nigga's baby?

438
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Speaker 1: Actually as of right now two weeks she said she'll

439
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,359
Speaker 1: know by December fifteenth.

440
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Speaker 5: Fuck meaniss? So I'm actually in my phone.

441
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Speaker 1: Yeah, I would want to find and be like, girl,

442
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:47,240
Speaker 1: make sure we get the update on this because to me,

443
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:49,760
Speaker 1: I think in the next two weeks it's weird because

444
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:53,360
Speaker 1: I'm also someone that's been working through my anxiety, and

445
00:21:53,960 --> 00:21:57,800
Speaker 1: what I realized with anxiety is how much sleep you

446
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: can lose and how stressed you can get.

447
00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,080
Speaker 2: Over the what ifs?

448
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,440
Speaker 5: What you realized?

449
00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,520
Speaker 2: Well, to me, no, it's the what ifs?

450
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:05,240
Speaker 5: What's yours?

451
00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: Like the what ifs are kind of what I even

452
00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,560
Speaker 1: just suggested her to do, right, like, if this is

453
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:12,200
Speaker 1: your baby, how do we do this?

454
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: How do we do that? Where does the money go?

455
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: What like?

456
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,639
Speaker 1: And so to me, maybe actually then let me rephrase that,

457
00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: because the anxiety will fucking kill you.

458
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,760
Speaker 2: Maybe just reframe what your.

459
00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:29,160
Speaker 1: Next goals look like within your own relationship with them

460
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:29,520
Speaker 1: right now.

461
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did a podcast The Unusual Suspects Malcolm Gladwell,

462
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 3: Kenny Barris, a woman named Ursula Burns. She was the

463
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:41,840
Speaker 3: first black woman CEO Forbes list be Oprah out a

464
00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 3: few years and she talked about how her fucking husband

465
00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 3: had another baby. She said, and I sat there and

466
00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:53,280
Speaker 3: I said, well, we can do two things, and I

467
00:22:53,320 --> 00:22:55,440
Speaker 3: and we recorded this two years ago, so maybe a

468
00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:58,000
Speaker 3: little dicey, but she goes, I can either leave you

469
00:23:00,119 --> 00:23:04,480
Speaker 3: or we can be a family. And she talked about

470
00:23:04,520 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 3: how much she loves her stepchild. She had been with

471
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 3: her husband over ten years at that point, and she's like,

472
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:12,160
Speaker 3: things happen. This is my family. I think her husband's.

473
00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:12,760
Speaker 5: Also gone now.

474
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,560
Speaker 3: And she really was like, and I had a fruitful

475
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:21,800
Speaker 3: life for them, Like unfortunately, okay, you know, mistakes happen.

476
00:23:22,119 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 3: And I don't want to say children are mistakes.

477
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:28,560
Speaker 4: But shit, do you think the mistakes too?

478
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,560
Speaker 3: Do you know what I must say? There's really no

479
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 3: other advice for us to give. I think you're probably

480
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 3: surprised at Mandy and I say, hey, be optimistic. All

481
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 3: we need is at update and you need to send

482
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 3: that update.

483
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 5: The decisions pot at gmail dot com.

484
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 3: And when y send it, bitch, give us some detail

485
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 3: because we want to make the whole episode about this.

486
00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,040
Speaker 4: I want you to do this, to give this to us.

487
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,120
Speaker 3: I want you to tell us where you were when

488
00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 3: the results happened, the reaction if it wasn't the sigh

489
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,040
Speaker 3: of relief, and also maybe what you both said to

490
00:23:58,040 --> 00:23:58,440
Speaker 3: each other.

491
00:23:58,800 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 1: I mean sigh of relief only if it ain't his,

492
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:07,080
Speaker 1: if it's but if it is his, the reaction of like, now, what.

493
00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 5: Are you angry? Or are you comforting? What are you doing?

494
00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:14,240
Speaker 5: What is he saying? Is he like did he have

495
00:24:14,280 --> 00:24:16,000
Speaker 5: a plan? Like how does this go? I need to know?

496
00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 3: Bit to the baby, mama, call your ass, send us

497
00:24:19,119 --> 00:24:21,680
Speaker 3: the baby and him with a little take the layout

498
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:24,199
Speaker 3: story on Instagram, save it and just send it to

499
00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:25,080
Speaker 3: me because I need to see.

500
00:24:26,080 --> 00:24:27,920
Speaker 4: And that's it. Jesus.

501
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 1: All right, send it all over to Decisions about It

502
00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:34,600
Speaker 1: Gmail dot com. Y'all, we are wrapping up the year

503
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:38,640
Speaker 1: very soon, very soon soon come soon, comes soon, come,

504
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: so if you haven't yet, if you want some more content,

505
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:43,760
Speaker 1: make sure you join us over on Patreon.

506
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 4: That's patreon dot com.

507
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:57,960
Speaker 1: Backslash horrible decision plus see hey hey

508
00:25:00,119 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 3: M