WEBVTT - Armageddon (with Carl Tart) 0:00:00.240 --> 0:00:03.880 Portions of This American Laugh with Aristotle Attari and Andy Harris. 0:00:03.920 --> 0:00:07.280 The improvised documentary podcast are brought to you by listeners 0:00:07.320 --> 0:00:10.719 like yourself, are esteemed sponsors and the all powerful, all 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:14.320 knowing Random Sentence Generator, which inspires the stories you're about 0:00:14.320 --> 0:00:18.720 to hear. Yes, whenever you hear this sound, the next 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:21.319 sentence you hear is a random sentence provided by our 0:00:21.400 --> 0:00:25.400 revered omnipotent Random Sentence Generator. Or more This American Laugh. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:28.640 Listened to more episodes of This American Laugh. I guess 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:34.640 and now your first random sentence. As the asteroid hurdle Twitter, 0:00:35.120 --> 0:00:44.159 Becky was upset at Dennis appointment had been canceled. You've 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.920 been trying to get in for over six months and 0:00:47.120 --> 0:00:51.720 aching togar mouth. It was the wisdom too, but she 0:00:51.760 --> 0:00:56.960 had long left inside of her chompers. I right, cruel. 0:00:57.040 --> 0:01:01.200 I want everyone to sound off. Jeremy, are you here? Yes? Scott? 0:01:01.360 --> 0:01:06.280 Are you here? Yes? Becky? Okay, you're here, and just 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:09.600 say here please? Yeah, am here is the one here? 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:13.240 Thank you. Listen, team, We've got an asteroid coming sight 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:17.760 for us, and if we don't buckle down and focus, yeah, 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:20.600 my tooth big Becky, this is something that you should 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:22.480 have taken care of on your own. I've added in 0:01:22.600 --> 0:01:25.040 the books for six months. You know, nobody tell you 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:27.160 to eat a damn candy? How does the asteroid no 0:01:27.240 --> 0:01:29.880 when you have a dentist appointment scheduled the candies there 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:32.960 because that's all you guys have at the food truck. Okay, 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.240 we're wasting valuable tyrant. What do you want me to do? 0:01:35.360 --> 0:01:37.520 I want you to just say here when I do 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:40.160 roll call, and then I want you to just listen 0:01:40.200 --> 0:01:43.040 to my instructions. Is that so hard? Yes? I'm here, 0:01:43.120 --> 0:01:45.960 and I wish I wasn't the only dynamite expert in 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:49.120 this group. We need you personally. I wish that you 0:01:49.120 --> 0:01:50.840 weren't the only one too. But that's the way that 0:01:50.880 --> 0:01:54.080 it is. My tooth, Becky, can you just please, can 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.760 you power through the tooth? Please? I'm empowering through a 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:00.720 lot deal. Well, you know what added to we could 0:02:00.720 --> 0:02:03.560 talk about this offline whatever we're done knocking this asteroid 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:05.880 out of the sky. What does the offline mean for you? 0:02:05.920 --> 0:02:08.640 We're talking like now in front of people. I talk 0:02:08.680 --> 0:02:11.680 about like sidebar, Yes, a sidebar. This arguments, this is 0:02:11.760 --> 0:02:14.560 derailing the subject. Sure is all right, here we go. 0:02:14.760 --> 0:02:17.240 First thing we're going to do is do you have 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.800 the dynamite ready at least Becky, Yeah, my job. Okay, 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:22.919 we're going to gather the dynamite. We're going to put 0:02:22.960 --> 0:02:25.600 it inside the missile, and then we're going to a 0:02:25.800 --> 0:02:27.959 much straight up. I thought, beck A, what's wrong? No, 0:02:28.200 --> 0:02:30.320 continue what you're gonna say? You just like you don't 0:02:30.360 --> 0:02:32.840 know what we're gonna do, do you. We're passing it 0:02:32.880 --> 0:02:36.720 along to me. Of course, Fish, you're gonna said, we're 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.800 gonna do it. We're gonna the missile. I think you asteroid. 0:02:41.560 --> 0:02:42.840 I thought I was going to throw a piece of 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.520 dynamite at the asteroid. That's what the whole plan was. 0:02:46.360 --> 0:02:47.919 I know, I played a little ball in color. You 0:02:48.400 --> 0:02:50.440 could throw dynamite all the way up to a fast 0:02:50.480 --> 0:02:52.480 roid could when I was in college. That's the plan, 0:02:52.639 --> 0:02:56.120 because that buys me another three weeks, get my tooth. 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:59.760 Thing we droned have two or three weeks. Yes, Lang 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:03.840 right towards the earth currently. I know that, Dale, we 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.400 all know that. But if he can, if the aster 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:09.040 gets close enough for him to throw the dynamite at it, 0:03:09.160 --> 0:03:13.480 then they're the problem is solved. Duh, that's highly unusual, 0:03:14.080 --> 0:03:18.079 highly irregular, and highly unorthodox. Highly none of those things 0:03:18.120 --> 0:03:20.720 they've made, like four movies do about the same thing. 0:03:21.480 --> 0:03:23.960 Throwing dynamite and an asteroid back. I think that that's 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:26.640 throbbing tooth for yards. It's really kind of breaking your focus. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.520 You're mis remembering what's happened in movies throughout history. Misogynistic 0:03:30.520 --> 0:03:32.840 if you ask me, well, you never told me I 0:03:33.000 --> 0:03:37.240 misremembered anything. I just remember all the time. Misogynistic. Alright, 0:03:37.280 --> 0:03:41.280 the only person you remember misremembering is me, Becky, not 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:45.440 you Dale, not me Scott Peterson. I just want to apologize. 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:48.680 I don't need apology has anytime. Once we knocked this 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:52.960 asteroid out of the sky, Scot throwing the dynamite, were 0:03:52.960 --> 0:03:59.440 tempting to throw the dynamite. Becky had he is number one, 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.080 they've world at number two. As the weeks went on, 0:04:02.360 --> 0:04:06.080 they promised to take care of the lining asteroid. Kept 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:08.040 delaying and delaying so that she can get in the 0:04:08.040 --> 0:04:09.840 doctors up. I think, get the tooth thing care of. 0:04:09.920 --> 0:04:13.160 I'm gonna get it done, okay. But we got lucky 0:04:13.440 --> 0:04:17.040 because the asteroids circumnavigated the Earth and it stayed in 0:04:17.080 --> 0:04:21.320 the sky temporarily a little longer than we interseparated. That's 0:04:21.320 --> 0:04:26.240 part of my plan originally. Are we still here? Like, 0:04:26.279 --> 0:04:28.240 that's part of my plan is to survive? Are we 0:04:28.320 --> 0:04:32.640 still here? Thank you? A little misogynistic, a little bit, 0:04:32.640 --> 0:04:34.440 A little bit, you know what, I could call out 0:04:34.880 --> 0:04:38.320 the man too. You promised that you were going to 0:04:38.440 --> 0:04:41.359 throw the dynamite up to the sky and knock that 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.640 asteroid out of the sky. Need to convinted around the world. 0:04:44.839 --> 0:04:47.159 It's like I said it would. Thank you, Scott Peterson. 0:04:47.320 --> 0:04:49.280 You woke about a dollar for every time I heard 0:04:49.279 --> 0:04:51.480 someone out of the words thank you. Scott Peterson, you 0:04:51.680 --> 0:04:57.599 have six dollars anyway. All right, well listen, the asteroid 0:04:57.720 --> 0:05:00.320 is coming towards us again. Yeah, so what is your plan? 0:05:00.600 --> 0:05:03.599 My plan is, when it gets into the orbit within 0:05:03.720 --> 0:05:07.640 throwing range of Scott's arm, we're gonna throw the dynamite. 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:10.239 It's gonna be wrapped around a football and he's gonna 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:12.720 throw it right down the middle and then you know, 0:05:13.440 --> 0:05:15.880 and I'm a detonate from here. Okay, Now, way, we 0:05:15.880 --> 0:05:18.039 don't have to spend so much money on radio detonation 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.799 because now it's just gonna be within distance, like a radio, 0:05:20.920 --> 0:05:23.000 like a race car, like a little RC race card. 0:05:23.160 --> 0:05:28.360 But it's gonna be like a poem that blows up. Look, 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:30.359 I gotta go get my teeth, take care of fine. 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:40.560 Two days later, so back, we're gonna cram all that 0:05:40.680 --> 0:05:48.120 galls in your mouth. I thought, well, zagines there, How 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:50.240 how was that you never supposed the question how much 0:05:50.320 --> 0:05:54.120 galls a woman? Hasn't I read this book called Lean In, 0:05:54.440 --> 0:05:56.120 and even though it's a book for women, it taught 0:05:56.160 --> 0:05:57.960 me a lot about things too. That's why I keep 0:05:58.000 --> 0:06:01.640 calling you out, sir. It's not York numbers now much. 0:06:08.720 --> 0:06:11.400 This is this American lab. I mean, I was sorry 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:14.800 with producer Andy, especially against contributor for this episode is 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:19.320 Harold Tart and our show. We're using a trustee sentence 0:06:19.360 --> 0:06:22.440 generator to bring you a story and react. This week's 0:06:22.520 --> 0:06:36.920 name Armageddon. It was us Act one. She could hear 0:06:37.000 --> 0:06:40.719 him in the shower, singing with the joy she hoped 0:06:41.080 --> 0:06:45.320 he'd retain after she delivered the news, which was that's 0:06:45.320 --> 0:06:48.000 so great. He's been holding onto this bad news for 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.840 at least a week until she was ready to give 0:06:50.839 --> 0:06:53.560 it to him. And then there he was listening from 0:06:53.600 --> 0:06:56.719 the shower dripping wet Shady gave him the dude the 0:06:56.920 --> 0:07:05.200 happiest man on earth. That's me. Yah, we need to talk. 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:10.960 That was that too? Okay? It bad? Good song? Okay, um, 0:07:10.960 --> 0:07:13.000 it's under mine. But you remember that trip that I 0:07:13.040 --> 0:07:16.400 went on with Michael Friend to Detroit to Detroit. Yeah, 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.679 do you remember I said that I was a big 0:07:18.800 --> 0:07:21.440 Detroit Lions fan. Yes? And then you remember when I 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:24.000 went to the Detroit Lions fand Club party. Oh the 0:07:24.040 --> 0:07:26.200 party that was that was organized by the president of 0:07:26.200 --> 0:07:29.000 the Detroit Lions stand club Detroit Lions. But Herr Sanders. 0:07:29.000 --> 0:07:30.920 Did he sign your football? He did more than just 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:34.400 sim I have no he signed your Detroit Lions pennant. 0:07:34.480 --> 0:07:37.120 Oh that's great, dude. Did you keep it? But he 0:07:37.200 --> 0:07:39.520 didn't fold it up? Did you? Because it's worth less 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:42.040 if it's folded. He did more than just signed my 0:07:42.240 --> 0:07:45.680 Detroit Lions. Then did he take a selfie with you 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:49.080 and Rebecca? We took some selfies and yeah, Rebecca was there. 0:07:49.920 --> 0:07:52.720 Well can I see him? Did you post them there online? 0:07:52.800 --> 0:07:54.920 It's in your phone, It's on a website, which is 0:07:54.960 --> 0:07:57.119 another part of the thing that I have to tell you. Okay, 0:07:57.280 --> 0:07:58.960 just tell me the website. I'm gonna log in right now. 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:02.600 Watch the video. So it's w W W okay w 0:08:03.080 --> 0:08:07.080 n A S dot No, I'm giving you all t 0:08:07.320 --> 0:08:14.680 now www dot oh yeah, thank you. W go ahead 0:08:15.320 --> 0:08:20.480 www dot n A S T Y M A g 0:08:21.360 --> 0:08:26.120 I E dot um c U M nasty Maggie dot com. 0:08:26.400 --> 0:08:29.880 Wait a minute, I'm nasty, Maggie. That's the whole life, 0:08:30.000 --> 0:08:33.360 be living, Maggy. Sorry, no, you know what. This might 0:08:33.400 --> 0:08:35.240 be self tortured, but I want to see what's on 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:38.199 this website. Go for it. Get on the website. You 0:08:38.280 --> 0:08:40.000 have a credit card? Can I borrow you credit card? 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:42.600 Real quick? No, you got to use yours. My credit 0:08:42.600 --> 0:08:44.200 card is all the way in my wallets over by 0:08:44.200 --> 0:08:45.960 the flowers that I got you, the welcome home flowers. 0:08:46.080 --> 0:08:49.600 He decided, great card walked all the way to the flowers, 0:08:49.920 --> 0:08:53.000 and it's wallet that is gred card all the way 0:08:53.040 --> 0:08:56.240 back taft in all the numbers. It was a long 0:08:56.480 --> 0:09:01.120 Discover card number. And he charged himself body nine ninety 0:09:01.200 --> 0:09:11.920 nine a month in a right. I can't believe that 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:14.480 you got to meet Barry Sanders. What was he like? 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.280 You're not not about this? I mean yes, I'm curious, 0:09:17.400 --> 0:09:19.760 But what is he like? Just tell me he's nice. 0:09:19.760 --> 0:09:21.640 He's while I packed my things. You tell me what 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:25.160 he was like. He was nice, he was very gentle, tender, 0:09:25.360 --> 0:09:28.679 he was and he was very wrong. Somebody's at the door. 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:29.839 You know what? Put a pin in that. I'm not 0:09:30.920 --> 0:09:34.600 I get that reaction every time, Mr Sanders, welcome. Please. 0:09:35.800 --> 0:09:38.280 I gave in our address because I don't know if 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.959 you write the comments of the videos, people really liked it. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.360 That's how I pay for our home. Is there going 0:09:43.440 --> 0:09:45.920 to be a part two of the video? That's what 0:09:46.080 --> 0:09:48.040 he's here for. I also brought you a box of 0:09:48.120 --> 0:09:50.320 fresh peaches from a fruit stand side of the road. 0:09:50.440 --> 0:09:53.079 Did you tell them I love peaches? I did. You're 0:09:53.080 --> 0:09:56.320 a good listener, You're so thoughtful, but you're still in trouble, 0:09:56.480 --> 0:09:59.160 young lady. Do you mind if I cut one of 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:00.880 these up. I'm a little hungry. It's been a long 0:10:01.000 --> 0:10:05.600 ride in Detroit one too. Yeah, you do some comfort 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:08.120 food right about now? What do you keeping knives in 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:11.080 the knife drawer? That's the third one from the left 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:13.480 that I was gonna have to guess I can went 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:18.120 from the right. Quod Scenarios, then named Kevin have you 0:10:18.240 --> 0:10:22.959 just established now sitting with his wife's leather eating peaches? 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:26.439 The shock he was okay with being what they call that? 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:29.040 Is that a cut? Cold? Is that what it's called? 0:10:29.880 --> 0:10:32.520 You might produce it, Andy, Oh, yes, yes, that is 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.679 what that's called. Cold. Yes, I don't know if you're 0:10:34.760 --> 0:10:37.040 much of a cheese guy, but peaches with virata and 0:10:37.120 --> 0:10:41.400 a little bit of basil. Delicious. He is a lovely man, 0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:44.640 but that doesn't make it any less less hurtful. I'll 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:49.000 tell you what Barry Sanders before you tell me? Huh? 0:10:49.320 --> 0:10:53.079 Do you think heartbreakingly delicious? So there's another part of this. 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:56.199 So we were wondering if you would be interested and 0:10:56.360 --> 0:11:00.360 also investing in his restaurant. No, no, I'm not going 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:02.920 to invest it. What kind of restaurants? Is standard American affair? 0:11:03.280 --> 0:11:06.640 With an Italian twist? Oh? Those are my two favorite jobs. 0:11:06.920 --> 0:11:09.719 Tell him the name? Oh, yes, okay, I'm passing it 0:11:09.800 --> 0:11:15.360 off to you. Yeah, I'm Barry's Bootcamp. Barry's Bootcamp, Yeah, 0:11:15.360 --> 0:11:17.959 a little bit. Oh it legally because there's another Berry? 0:11:18.320 --> 0:11:20.920 Is there? Is there's another Berry? Is there? Barry Obama? 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:23.120 Who runs the other one? And you would be a 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:28.080 majority owner? Really at least, at least, that's how kind 0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.360 I am. Very least. It's the least I could do 0:11:30.440 --> 0:11:32.679 after what I did to your wife on camera several times, 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:37.160 which is earning us money. Yeah. Hi, um, I am 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:42.200 formerly the husband of the bride um who was invited 0:11:42.280 --> 0:11:44.760 here to uh to make a toast. Wow. I never 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:49.880 thought this day would come say something. Rebecca, Rebecca my 0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:54.640 ex wife, nasty Maggie's I'm sorry, right, nasty Maggie. I 0:11:54.679 --> 0:11:57.079 can't believe you did this. But if there had to 0:11:57.120 --> 0:11:59.360 be somebody that you did this with, I'm just glad 0:11:59.440 --> 0:12:03.040 it was Hall of Fame running back former Detroit Lions 0:12:03.120 --> 0:12:07.679 star Bear Sanders. Somebody cutting onions in here because I'm 0:12:07.720 --> 0:12:09.920 getting teary eyed. Hey, you've become one of my best 0:12:10.000 --> 0:12:13.079 friends over this process. Me. No, no, no, no, no, 0:12:13.360 --> 0:12:16.959 we've we've shared so much, so many things, so many women. Also, 0:12:17.040 --> 0:12:21.480 I am catting onions asking me Sandy, Yeah, you hired 0:12:21.520 --> 0:12:25.040 me because I wouldn't American restaurant with a tun of Swiss. Yes, 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:27.559 that's the chef. Thank you so much. I'm going back 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:31.679 to it, coming back, and I want what if I 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:35.839 started not ba? Oh my god, you don't remember me 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.360 telling you do not to cot to the onion in 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:42.000 the front of the guests, across proximity to the guests, 0:12:42.040 --> 0:12:46.400 and now you got them crying and complaining about he's 0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.800 also my most you've keeping a foot in the kitchen. 0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.839 You guys, okay, no, do you want to start to 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:54.920 do my job. I didn't know this was gonna turn said, 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:57.079 I want to apologize, and I behaven beneath you. I 0:12:57.200 --> 0:13:00.000 tell him many times not to go ahead and chopping up. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:03.439 I didn't front the guests in close proximity to the 0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:06.640 but but you do it anyway. I actually like it. 0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.079 One thing that I like represented at my wedding is 0:13:09.120 --> 0:13:12.160 Italian hard work. Thank you. I'm come do this country 0:13:12.400 --> 0:13:16.199 with nothing in my pocket but a thousand dollars. That's it. 0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:17.880 And that's not a ton of money. And it's not 0:13:19.280 --> 0:13:21.640 that's a lot of money here nothing in New York. 0:13:22.040 --> 0:13:23.880 Not in New York. You can run out of that 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:26.360 money at any time. Oh yeah, it's most diffinite. Because 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:30.280 I also love to go to the ship clubs. It's 0:13:30.320 --> 0:13:32.520 a problem. That's a problem. It's a problem, which is 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:34.200 why I have a job now so that I can 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:37.559 work on the photonomy sound it's got an onions and 0:13:37.720 --> 0:13:41.760 avoid going to strippers. You like strip clubs, you like work, 0:13:42.120 --> 0:13:45.400 Why not work a strict club? Why not working a 0:13:45.400 --> 0:13:47.839 strip club? I never thought a diese. The buffet is 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.400 at the strip club. It's a very onion heavy food 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:52.760 most of the time. And the way you cut those onions. 0:13:52.760 --> 0:13:54.080 And I know you can do other things. I hired 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.160 you at my restaurant. You know other things I canna 0:13:56.200 --> 0:13:59.160 do well. I love your Italian hamburger, Thank you so much. 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:04.400 What got me the joba? Yes? I love your Italian pizza, 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:08.160 which is Italian American style pizza with the American cheese 0:14:08.400 --> 0:14:12.920 and the catch up and the lunchables the lunch Yes, 0:14:12.960 --> 0:14:17.559 the lunchables pizza, Yes, yes, love that. That also goes 0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:19.080 to me. The jobra. That's what did it for me. 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:21.120 When you laid out all those plates. I said, I 0:14:21.320 --> 0:14:24.360 wought this guy at Barry's Bluecap. Yes. I think we 0:14:24.480 --> 0:14:26.680 could go into business together. And I've got a person 0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.320 who would love to invest in this business. It's my 0:14:29.400 --> 0:14:31.480 old buddy who used to be married to my wife. 0:14:31.520 --> 0:14:33.280 As long as I can have at least a fifty 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:36.440 one percent share in the company, I will follow you 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.240 into the gates of help. Mr Barry Sanders, I'm about 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:43.640 fifty two percent. He's a confusing love triangle, butter like it. 0:14:43.920 --> 0:14:46.600 This is the greatest and also the worst day of 0:14:46.680 --> 0:14:49.560 my life. Mr Bud, Please this is going to work 0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.600 for me to go to street Club. You'll be working there, 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:53.640 so you can come out and tars onions at all 0:14:53.640 --> 0:14:56.680 the ladies. Alright, alright, come out on the s got 0:14:57.080 --> 0:15:02.840 some man, get those that those highly higging them high, 0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:10.480 and I'll get those audience highly get the first. He 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:17.800 loves the way con siptually. It's a really good the idea. Yeah, 0:15:17.920 --> 0:15:21.320 I love the idea. Come, I like a quart onions. 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.640 Many onions are throwing sack like that. It's a problem. 0:15:26.080 --> 0:15:29.600 I can't cut the audience. And that's a fast what 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.520 when we first went into this business together, you told 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:36.120 me that you could cut onions faster than anybody this 0:15:36.320 --> 0:15:38.800 side of the Italian Mississippi or so I like it. 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:40.760 I can't cut you out now because we actually went 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.080 into this business together, and I do have steak legally. 0:15:43.200 --> 0:15:45.080 I know you bought the building to hide all the 0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:48.200 girls a lot of win into this concert, which to 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:51.160 me was ready paper thin. If you ask me, But 0:15:51.440 --> 0:15:53.400 I win with it because it's just three purts, And 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:56.160 I said, okay, strip Away where you cut onions and 0:15:56.240 --> 0:16:02.200 put ingredients of subway sandwiches on the cut the curse alright, 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:06.160 That was welcome to strip Way. And uh, first of all, 0:16:06.200 --> 0:16:11.440 I want to apologize for some my anthers onions coming 0:16:11.480 --> 0:16:15.720 in so cold. I apologize on Belicio's behalf for his 0:16:15.960 --> 0:16:18.720 inability to get those us on the stage faster. Nah, 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:23.360 I've been assured by Anicio that Cassandra comes up, He's 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:26.280 gonna up on the stage as fast as you have. 0:16:26.440 --> 0:16:28.800 Our seas always a gentleman. Put your hairs together and 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.080 get those always high on the air for the sound. 0:16:31.200 --> 0:16:36.280 Ram trying to be rolling this right, but find using 0:16:36.360 --> 0:16:40.200 there the old old line in the work you sids 0:16:40.240 --> 0:16:45.400 fine makes you offline for just a minute. Sure, what 0:16:45.400 --> 0:16:48.400 the hell, man, cod don't you what's up? Todd? But 0:16:48.680 --> 0:16:49.800 I thought that you said that you were going to 0:16:49.840 --> 0:16:52.640 go help. You're going to practice awesome thuds on the stage. 0:16:52.720 --> 0:16:55.880 You're gonna get the stage licking sweat. You're told me 0:16:56.040 --> 0:16:59.240 was the problem, Lisa time. The oldest flow was all 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:09.320 objects faster. That was welcome to strap Way. When the 0:17:09.320 --> 0:17:19.600 girl's getting free longer, longer, longer, like me might say, 0:17:20.040 --> 0:17:27.800 I was to my wol ceo faster than I could say, Well, 0:17:27.960 --> 0:17:31.640 these name Malco. He's the first time, I'm the last time. 0:17:31.680 --> 0:17:35.400 I'm sorry, I'm beat off for more than that. Control 0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:41.719 I'll go okay, I stay God, God, thank God, Okay. 0:17:48.640 --> 0:17:51.639 Coming up back to the first the word from our 0:17:51.800 --> 0:18:09.200 esteemed sponsors, stay with us, act to the interview. Thank 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:11.080 you for coming, Thank you for having me, Army, this 0:18:11.200 --> 0:18:13.280 is great. How long have you been listening to the show. 0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:15.880 I've been listening to the show since I first received 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:20.840 the episode, which was when August of I think I 0:18:20.880 --> 0:18:25.080 heard him. Do you remember what happened in that episode? 0:18:25.480 --> 0:18:28.480 It happened? What happened in that episode? Your favorite? Your 0:18:28.520 --> 0:18:30.760 favorite part of that episode? Let me thank you. Let 0:18:30.800 --> 0:18:34.200 me think that episode I heard three bears putting on 0:18:34.280 --> 0:18:36.960 a show. Are you talking about like the animatronic bears? Yeah? 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.680 I think we have that in our archives. It is 0:18:39.800 --> 0:18:47.639 yet is pretty rock and roll rock. Are you ready 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:51.960 to rock it roll? Wait a minute, have you seen 0:18:52.119 --> 0:19:04.359 our least player? Hello? Boom boom boom booming. I'm firstday birthday. 0:19:11.359 --> 0:19:14.560 It wasn't a very good. Now it wasn't make much sense. 0:19:15.000 --> 0:19:17.919 It's a little I made that episode. I was anybody 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:21.199 that about Yeah, tell us about yourself but from I'm 0:19:21.200 --> 0:19:23.440 from Pascagoula, Mississippi originally, but I grew up here in 0:19:23.480 --> 0:19:26.680 Los Angeles, California, but part of California West l A. Nice. 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:29.320 When I clean you're a comedian, I am. Tell us 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:33.160 about your comedy background. I started at the Second City 0:19:33.440 --> 0:19:35.960 two years, uh, and and then I went over to 0:19:36.080 --> 0:19:39.080 UCB performing there for a while. Nice performed in Amsterdam 0:19:39.119 --> 0:19:41.119 for a while with this group called Boom Chicago, very 0:19:41.240 --> 0:19:44.920 very well renowned Boom Chicago. Yeah, sure, I love it. 0:19:45.080 --> 0:19:48.040 I love that. One of the best in the world, 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:53.360 the second best besides us. Yeah. Uh, how long will 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:55.680 you in Amsterdam? Just for one year? Did you partake 0:19:55.840 --> 0:19:57.720 in any of that? Any of the accoutrem all he 0:19:57.800 --> 0:20:01.120 describes movie for us, Dutch food is pretty disgusting. There's 0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:05.000 women there, there's the red light district. There's coffee shops 0:20:05.040 --> 0:20:08.040 that serve marijuana. What's the red light? What does that mean? 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:10.359 I did not partaking any of that. Number One, the 0:20:10.400 --> 0:20:13.760 marijuana is better in Los Angeles, Yes, really, Oh absolutely, 0:20:13.880 --> 0:20:18.080 Reggie over there, mid we we actually have you trying 0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:23.159 some of the marijuana in Amsterdam in our archives. Yeah, alright, 0:20:23.280 --> 0:20:26.560 let's here. I'm Dutch person, so this is me giving 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:29.439 him marijuana. Alright, let's try I help you like it? Now, 0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:33.479 Hold on, yo, Yos is your name? My name is Yos? Yes, 0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:38.280 now you know, yes, that I'm from California, California. You're 0:20:38.359 --> 0:20:42.200 telling me earlier almost Snoop Dogg, most Snoop Dogg. And 0:20:42.480 --> 0:20:46.040 you said you grew up in West Los Angeles, Los Angeles, California. 0:20:46.160 --> 0:20:51.200 I don't serve me no bullshit as wet. Okay, just 0:20:51.280 --> 0:20:57.600 going to your hired dofter, and Peter's going too, I 0:20:57.760 --> 0:21:01.400 know before. Yeah, okay, you better blow my head off. 0:21:02.000 --> 0:21:06.520 It off your head. This is called nighttime Armageddon, and 0:21:06.640 --> 0:21:09.920 it will blow your head clean off of your buddies. 0:21:10.119 --> 0:21:12.359 And it's like what do you call in the counter, 0:21:12.800 --> 0:21:17.240 maybe whichever one is the scarier one. This is what's 0:21:17.320 --> 0:21:20.440 time released hybrid. So it starts out with some indica, yes, 0:21:20.600 --> 0:21:25.119 and then by the time your sleep again. Okay, all right, 0:21:25.160 --> 0:21:34.680 let's see here we go. He did it? Do we 0:21:34.840 --> 0:21:37.200 need to call line one one? Absolutely not? What she 0:21:37.400 --> 0:21:41.560 was weak man? Wow, I'm telling you now that I'm 0:21:41.600 --> 0:21:45.960 not appreciate this your attitude about our marijuana here. Business 0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:47.720 has been here for a long time. We should give 0:21:47.840 --> 0:21:51.639 him this stronger one. Give it to me. One is 0:21:51.760 --> 0:22:00.760 called sweet fancy Christ Christ Christ Christ May will blow 0:22:00.880 --> 0:22:05.000 your head clean off of your shoulders into the street, 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:09.480 and you will have to run into street togather your 0:22:09.560 --> 0:22:11.960 head and put it back onto your body. That is 0:22:12.040 --> 0:22:18.479 how we go another week one? Now, what is going 0:22:18.520 --> 0:22:21.000 on over here? What is going on with you? I'm 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.960 an American. I think that we should give him the 0:22:25.280 --> 0:22:28.640 strongiest one we have fellas. I don't think he's working 0:22:28.680 --> 0:22:30.760 out here. Let me just get one of these strope 0:22:30.760 --> 0:22:34.200 waffles and milk. I don't want to try the third one. 0:22:34.440 --> 0:22:36.400 We can try it. We can try it. I won't 0:22:36.400 --> 0:22:37.720 be rude. I won't be rude because I know what 0:22:37.760 --> 0:22:41.840 you'll think about Americans they started. One is called rancid face, 0:22:42.080 --> 0:22:46.840 runsid face. It will blow your head. You will be 0:22:47.080 --> 0:22:51.800 launching your head into the skies and you will have 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:56.280 to get in a spiceship and go up to the 0:22:56.359 --> 0:23:00.080 sky and get your head. And then you will have 0:23:00.200 --> 0:23:03.440 to take the head and put it big you want, 0:23:03.640 --> 0:23:06.240 don't hear me out. All right, you will have to 0:23:07.080 --> 0:23:09.679 retrieve your head. You would double check nic shut at 0:23:09.720 --> 0:23:11.960 your head and not somebody else's who may have also 0:23:12.119 --> 0:23:15.920 tried ransom face. But then you see, yes, this see 0:23:16.000 --> 0:23:19.720 is my head. You come back to art, you put 0:23:19.800 --> 0:23:22.679 it back on your it's very strong. Try it all right, 0:23:22.760 --> 0:23:24.840 there you go. Oh this ship stinks and it was 0:23:24.880 --> 0:23:30.040 like rancid face. All right, once again, my head is 0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:33.359 still on my body. Music clear that the lead that 0:23:33.520 --> 0:23:37.399 was being sold that this we cafe wasn't anywhere close 0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:41.720 to what Carl Tird had had in west End. That's 0:23:41.760 --> 0:23:43.880 what we're as I was training it at. Yeah, yeah, 0:23:44.119 --> 0:23:48.200 so Carl, tell us more about your escapades as a comedian. 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:51.600 That was the most interesting experience I have. But since then, 0:23:51.600 --> 0:23:53.359 you know, written on a couple of shows run on 0:23:53.440 --> 0:23:56.560 Matt TV. You know a few people maybe, but y'all 0:23:56.640 --> 0:24:00.320 know you know, uh Colton done, yes, call and done. 0:24:00.359 --> 0:24:02.080 This is my guy. Very good guy, have very funny, 0:24:02.280 --> 0:24:06.280 very good guy, very funny. I wrote on Ghosted and 0:24:06.560 --> 0:24:11.320