00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. I thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff. 00:00:35 Speaker 2: So how do you dare to surbey me? Welcome to I said, no, gift temperature wineger. We're here, We're doing you know, the usual thing. They got started on a very bad note. I sat next to a woman in a terrible hat. I mean it didn't go any further than that, but just out of the corner of my eye. I was annoyed the entire time. I was supposed to be relaxing. Meanwhile, she's got this hat. Okay, so that happened this morning. What else has been going on? I thought of two people I'm mad at on the drive here, but I've managed to kind of put that on the back burner. I'll be mad at them after the episode. And I think that's essentially everything. Is there anything in my list of Oh, I did see some unappealing rolls in the kitchen, the office kitchen. There are several unappealing rolls, prepackaged rolls that looked like someone got them on a flight or something. Just throw them out. I don't think anyone's going to be eating those. I also realized recently, I think I've been eating expired cheese from the office fridge. They've since gotten rid of it. Of course, I eat my baby Bell cheese almost every time I come here, and there were a few weeks in a row when I would begin gagging on the cheese, thinking there's something wrong. And then that bag of cheese went away and they got a new one, and these ones don't make me gag, so obviously there was something going on with that bag of cheese. They need to be refreshing the cheese. This is now just me talking to the office manager, Brian, get on it. Ah, Okay, then I think we should just go through some actual business that I feel like we never get around to. There's merchant exactly right, store dot com probably slash. I said, no gifts, you can use the internet. Figure it out. Great t shirt. Everybody's got to get the t shirt. I just think it's dazzling. Leave a review for the podcast, no matter how you feel about it, but it should be a good, sparkling review, even if you hate the podcast. That's just a nice thing you can do for a stranger, And I think those are the two big pieces of business that I just don't get around too often enough, and it's really hurting them. I'm sorry. I think we should get into the episode. I love today's guest. I really adore him. It's Colin Crawford. Colon, Welcome to I said, no gifts. 00:03:10 Speaker 3: Thank you for having me. Nice to see you, Bridge, It's so nice to see you. To ask you a cheese question, yeah, of course. How many times did you eat the gag cheese and then eat it again before you will figure out that this is not good cheese? 00:03:24 Speaker 2: I would say it was probably four times in a row. Now I have to explain why I continued trying. At home, I have my own supply of babybelled cheese which I refresh all the time, and those ones were fine. I was able to eat, chew them, and swallow them without feeling like I was going to be poisoned. So then I think there was the feeling of like, maybe there's just something something else is happening at the office and I just need to get over it. But when it happened four times in a row and I had to spit it out in a garbage. I thought, Okay, this is different than the one I have. 00:03:55 Speaker 3: Okay, that sort of makes sense. 00:03:57 Speaker 2: Have you ever had bad cheese? 00:03:59 Speaker 3: So I've had bad cheese immediately flashing back to a bad cheese experience. We had one grandmother who was like kind of well to do in our family and the rest of us are like dirt people. But she had this kind of like gray gardens like some where. She was the weirdest person I've ever met. Her house was full of mannequins and stuff, and she. 00:04:20 Speaker 2: Was like this office by the way, it's like a cigarette and Smarties and an ash tray. 00:04:27 Speaker 3: It's kind of like that. And she would have us eat whatever was in her fridge, no matter how old it was, and it was very important to her that we eat it, and like truly substances that I could not identify. I choked down. I then would go throw up in the other room. And she made me eat this fucking cheddar cheese that was like half green, and uh, I still think about it. It felt very weird and it yeah, I mean it tastes like mold. 00:05:02 Speaker 2: Did it make you sick at all? 00:05:04 Speaker 3: Yes? 00:05:04 Speaker 2: Oh god, Well, that's the thing about cheese, And I think even growing up, we would like if there was mold on the cheese, my mom would be like, well just cut that part off and throw it away. Yeah, because cheese is mold. I think it's a little bit we're playing with fire. 00:05:17 Speaker 3: Absolutely, It's like margins around a tumor. It's like how far do you cut around it? 00:05:23 Speaker 2: I now if there's a mold on anything in my fridge, it's immediately thrown out. 00:05:26 Speaker 3: Ooh, I still got that like that like raised from circumstances in me. That's like, h the some of the bread is still good? 00:05:34 Speaker 2: Oh bread, No, there's absolutely no chance. 00:05:37 Speaker 3: What about expiration dates? 00:05:39 Speaker 2: With expiration dates I've gotten very loosey goosey with because it's a it's a scam. Yeah, it's like essentially a scam, unless it's something that's like eggs, like something that could grow bacteria and give you a real sickness. I think I'm just like, well, I'll try it and if it doesn't taste great, I'll throw it out. 00:05:57 Speaker 3: Turkey, a lot of the time we buy already expired key. I will smell it. I follow my nose on expired turkey. 00:06:04 Speaker 2: I have a problem with regular turkey Delli me. In general, I'm like, I have to be it has to be so pristine. 00:06:13 Speaker 3: That's probably a good policy, But it's like gone through so many processes that I don't feel like it's barely an animal anymore. 00:06:18 Speaker 2: It's almost like eighty percent salt. 00:06:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly, that's probably true. 00:06:22 Speaker 2: It's like probably what they did in the Pioneers. 00:06:24 Speaker 3: Sailors reading like bars head turkey. 00:06:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just in a big trunk of salt in me, so that makes kind of sense to me. But I recently had to throw out some cottage cheese, which I usually power through my cottage cheese. This one I left alone even too long. 00:06:39 Speaker 3: Fresh cottage tees are kind of powering through. 00:06:42 Speaker 2: Not true? Are you not on board with cottage cheese. 00:06:45 Speaker 3: I'm a big consistency guy. Oh and like certain consistencies I just can't do well. 00:06:50 Speaker 2: This is the thing I've learned with cottage cheese. Even just like you know, it depends on the brand. There are some cottage cheese where the consistency is absolutely disc vile, and then like the same like fat content whatever of another brand. Delicious Okay, Trader Jose makes an excellent cottage cheese. Trader Jos reach out. I also you have to. I guess there's a difference between curd size, which I don't even like to say curd size, but if you get the one that's large, it's disgusting. That really feels like milk gone wrong. Yeah, it's like, well, is this feels like milk with huge chunks in it, which is revolting. 00:07:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're better than that. 00:07:31 Speaker 2: But you also need to have like a dry something with cottage cheese. You need to have toast a cracker. 00:07:38 Speaker 3: What is the like I've had it a couple of times, but like, are we going savory? Are we going sweet savory? 00:07:44 Speaker 2: I need I just need like a plain cottage or a plain toast with cottage cheese. Some people like to put like jam or something in it. I haven't tried that yet because I feel like when dairy goes bad, it gets sweet, and so it's like, well, this is just pushing it even further into the territory of this. 00:08:00 Speaker 3: Is something kind of trealy about that consistency plus sweetness. Also, can I just say this is exactly what I thought being on a podcast, we're. 00:08:12 Speaker 2: Reading from a script? I said, no script? 00:08:15 Speaker 3: Right now? 00:08:16 Speaker 2: We fed this into chat GPT. 00:08:18 Speaker 3: What would Bridger say, consistency Chat with Bridger. 00:08:23 Speaker 2: No, I'm I'm going through at least one giant thing thing of cottage cheese a week, but I think it recently went viral, which is the curse for everything. Yeah, then you go into Trader Joe's. The shelves are empty, and you think these are these are just you know, people who are like fake fans. Yeah, they're the fake fans. They're the fair Weather fans. 00:08:43 Speaker 3: Sizes, Yes, exactly. 00:08:45 Speaker 2: I can name at least two, and I could if I use my imagination, I could get three more in there, medium, tiny, and extra medium. But I went in there totally empty. It was like when the Celery went viral. Do you remember when Celery went viral? 00:08:57 Speaker 3: You're on different. 00:09:01 Speaker 2: Well, I'll say outside of celery and cottage cheese, the rest of mine is just pure pornox on the same internet. No, there was a I think this was like shortly maybe after the pandemic, like the shutdown of the pandemic. People were like juicing celery juicing. Yeah, they were like turning. They were just drinking straight up, like they would run the celery through their juicer and then just drink that. 00:09:23 Speaker 3: What do you get out of that? 00:09:26 Speaker 2: It's not like the whole thing about Celery that like it's nothing. But I think people were saying it was solving their problem. I think that is the thing. Now. You think you hear something online that might fix something, and you're like, well, nothing else is just. 00:09:40 Speaker 3: By fucking pre workout powder, just. 00:09:42 Speaker 2: Because what is pre workout powder? 00:09:44 Speaker 3: It's like super energy drink and like I'm not even working out, I'm just using it to like be excited for the day. 00:09:54 Speaker 2: Does that have a flavor? 00:09:56 Speaker 3: Uh fruit punch? 00:09:57 Speaker 2: Oh? Okay, So it's almost like a fun dip situation. It's like and do you mix it into water or what? 00:10:04 Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, you drinks into water and you chug it and you're supposed to like get excited to work out. 00:10:09 Speaker 2: Basically, it gives you a good attitude. Interesting, I want to try that, you show I'm always looking for new things for exercise. 00:10:19 Speaker 3: The pitch that it was given to me is you take it. And I've only done it a couple of times now, but like you, it makes you if you're not like if you decide not to work out, it makes that a very unsatisfy like it makes you feel kind of crazy that. 00:10:30 Speaker 2: Has a bad consequence exactly. 00:10:34 Speaker 3: Yes, Wow, I was raised Catholic. 00:10:38 Speaker 2: Where did you order this from? 00:10:40 Speaker 3: Uh? GNC? 00:10:42 Speaker 1: Oh? 00:10:42 Speaker 2: GNC? I've never purchased a GNC product. 00:10:45 Speaker 3: Oh you haven't lived. 00:10:48 Speaker 2: GNC has really stuck it out, it really has. I feel like there was like a huge period of time when people were like no one but like weird bodybuilders shop there, and it was in every mall. And now I feel like probably kind of average people go and buy Yah. 00:11:03 Speaker 3: I think obviously people there's like health and wellness all over the world, right. I think DNC's really good at riding whatever. The current wave is. 00:11:11 Speaker 2: Oh interesting. It's kind of almost like a weight Watchers thing where it's just like we have a new weight watching. 00:11:17 Speaker 3: I like weight Watchers new thing. It's like it's cool that you're fat, don't worry about it. But I also stop being. 00:11:21 Speaker 2: Yeah, they really will just like they maneuver, they have to do something to survive. I think they now do golp once, which I guess is like they probably saw those coming and thought, okay, it's over look. 00:11:32 Speaker 3: No one's more tented by the golp ones than I am. But like I just can't get over the idea that in ten years everyone's like eyeballs are going to be falling out or something because they this was too good to be true. 00:11:45 Speaker 2: I mean, I don't know what to say. I'm on the side of Big Pharma, no. 00:11:48 Speaker 3: Matter what you texted me that beforehand. 00:11:52 Speaker 2: Please don't speak ill of Big Pharma. Okay, well, I want to try this group. My one problem with that is fruit punch flavor is my least favorite flavor of anything. 00:12:03 Speaker 3: What is because I have like fruit punch gatorade in my fridge, right, the red one, yes, And I like I couldn't tell you a single fruit flavor, Like I can't identify a flavor in the fruit. 00:12:14 Speaker 2: Yeah, what I wonder what like the bass formula for fruit punch is like red red we have we love the red fruit, I guess. And the fruit punch and tropical punch is there tropical fruit punch? What there's a tropical punch? 00:12:29 Speaker 3: I feel like it will be purple, usually purple. It'll have like a what's the purple fruit guava or something? The big boy? Is it no passion? Yeah? I don't have a passion fruit on there? 00:12:46 Speaker 1: Right? 00:12:46 Speaker 3: And again it just tastes like sweet sludge. 00:12:49 Speaker 2: And then there's Hawaiian punch, yes, which also has pineapple, but it's red. It's red, and it has the weird little man. 00:12:57 Speaker 3: The weird little who I thought was a moose forever. 00:13:00 Speaker 2: Well, I think we're thinking about different man. And I always thought he was a leprech on. 00:13:03 Speaker 3: So he is a little man, but I thought he was a moose because he's got a straw hat and it looks like antlers. 00:13:08 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm imagining a guy with like a broccoli shaped hair. Hm, let's see, I'm muggling this guy. Let's get our eyes on Hawaiian Oh, that's right, we can't agree he's violent. Oh, he does. Look so that's a hat. 00:13:24 Speaker 3: That's a hat. Yes. 00:13:25 Speaker 2: For the longest time, I thought that was hair. Oh, but I think it's because for a long time it was just two colors. It was red and blue, and you didn't really see the hair underneath that thing. 00:13:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought that was. 00:13:39 Speaker 2: He almost looks like he belongs to what was the True Detective cult? You the original True Detective. I think there's a cult that has something to do with antlers. This is sounding right. 00:13:53 Speaker 3: I just want to say The look on that guy's face is really bugging. I don't like it. 00:14:00 Speaker 2: He also looks like the front of his body is the back of his body. 00:14:04 Speaker 3: Okay, we're talking this so perfect, perfect Hawaiian culture. The blue and white striped shirt that no one has ever worn in an entire life. 00:14:16 Speaker 2: This man looks more like me than a Hawaiian person. And then they've gone three D, which this isn't working in any way, and now he's looking more like Greek myth. 00:14:27 Speaker 3: He's also now he looks like he's happy for me to have the punch. 00:14:32 Speaker 2: To hit me, and he's drinking his Hawaiian punch room temperature. It looks like which I'm not in love with. But it looks like Hawaiian punch is pineapple and peach. 00:14:43 Speaker 3: That's either a peach or a very suggestively shaved like apple. And then yeah, a purple ball. 00:14:53 Speaker 2: My favorite fruit. Oh, it looks like he's meeting somebody there used to be another character. Are you familiarly that's the man who he Oh that guy's not Hawaiian enough or something interesting. Well, I hate all of those flavors. I think they're all disgusting. I and the worst one of all I think i've I've talked to somebody on this podcast about it before. There's a fruit punch flavored Waterloo that tastes like rotting. 00:15:19 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, horrible. 00:15:20 Speaker 2: It's the worst flavor. The Waterloo people usually are pretty good about their flavors, and they should be ashamed of this flavor. It feels like something went wrong and they like, it's not even supposed to be that flavor and they just poured it into cans and trying to off sell that. 00:15:32 Speaker 3: Almost like it's like they like, this will make you appreciate the other water loos more. 00:15:36 Speaker 2: Right, you have to have at least one of those in every water I feel like with Lacroix, it's probably which one is the worst. 00:15:45 Speaker 3: Well, this is controversial because everyone everyone hates someone really loves. Like I don't mind the what is it, the suntan one. 00:15:53 Speaker 2: Coconut, Yeah, I don't mind cocaine. I don't mind that one either. 00:15:56 Speaker 3: I had one that tastes a lot like pre sun recently. Oh interesting, And it's called like beach beach plum. Yeah, beach. 00:16:03 Speaker 2: I like beach plump. 00:16:04 Speaker 3: Yeah. I like beach plum yeah. Again, Like I feel like everyone has one that they like and hate. I don't really, I'll like skip the lemons in the limes usually just because. 00:16:12 Speaker 2: They're kind of like the most default flavor of all, although I feel like those taste more like what sprite should taste like than sprite tastes like interesting because sprite, to me, does not taste like lemon. Limes. 00:16:22 Speaker 3: Was like a formative substance for me, is I think. 00:16:27 Speaker 2: It is for every child, I think past nine years old. Though, if you're drinking spars, oh. 00:16:31 Speaker 3: Boy, we should talk about my entire diet. If we're worrying about progressing after being. 00:16:35 Speaker 2: Nine, How was it formative for you? 00:16:38 Speaker 3: It just was like, this is what refreshment tastes. It really worked on me, all the stuff. 00:16:45 Speaker 2: I feel like as a child, whenever we would go to like a fast food Greek place, I would always order sprite and feel like I was really like sophisticated. Come combining that with my Greek food. 00:16:54 Speaker 3: Absolutely, also you are sophisticated going to Greek restaurants in Mormon Utah, Utah. 00:16:59 Speaker 2: There's so many Greek christries, there's a huge Greek population. 00:17:03 Speaker 3: I would have thought this is like exotic as hell. 00:17:05 Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, they're even represented in the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City by Angie k. She's very Greek, She's very there's a there are three Greek hamburger chains in Utah, all owned by Greek people, Crown Burger, Apollo Burger, and Astro Burger, and they're all essentially the same restaurant. I think there must have been a family that's. 00:17:24 Speaker 3: Very high falutin words. 00:17:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, you go in and it's very it's very like decorated by like somebody went to the Michaels decorating section and said, we're going to do like a fancy restaurant. 00:17:35 Speaker 3: I know exactly what you mean. I'm picturing it exactly. 00:17:39 Speaker 2: But yeah, Greeks are very well represented in Utah, but not in Los Angeles. They're like two. 00:17:45 Speaker 4: Oh. 00:17:45 Speaker 2: I think actually the one good Greek restaurant is closing down that people really like Papa Christo's, who's the guy there is just an adorable man. I don't know what they're doing, too far away from me to drive to, so I never went doing the problem. 00:18:00 Speaker 3: You'll never go mean all the diners are dying. 00:18:02 Speaker 2: All of the diners are dying. 00:18:04 Speaker 3: Trump, you were a one issue and you didn't even say about diners. I was like, this guy seems like he would want to bring back dinner. 00:18:14 Speaker 2: No, I don't think he would like a diner. I don't think. Yeah, it's too it's too comfortable, it's too like laid back. 00:18:21 Speaker 3: And like a brassy waitress. I think Trump could not deal with. 00:18:25 Speaker 2: Oh, there's no chance a waitress that would speak back to him. There's no chance that he would put up with that's do you know what diner I love in Los Angeles is Clark Street Diner. 00:18:34 Speaker 3: I do like we've we ate their semi reason. 00:18:36 Speaker 2: Oh, that's true. I like I go there too frequently. 00:18:39 Speaker 3: I just wish it wasn't so crowded all the time. 00:18:42 Speaker 2: You go on a weeknight, okay, and you'll probably. 00:18:45 Speaker 3: Be okay, and I'll see you there. 00:18:47 Speaker 2: You absolutely run into people constantly there, and it's not because they're always there, it's because I'm always there. So I'm just by a man the mayor of uh did you drive your car here? Today? 00:19:00 Speaker 3: Did drive my car? 00:19:00 Speaker 2: Do you want to talk about your car at all? 00:19:02 Speaker 3: I liked it. If you don't know about my car, this sounds like we're in an English textbook or something. The usually I drove it to the bookstore, and I drove it to the library and the grocery store. No, I have a car. So like, right when COVID hit and everyone was going insane, my version of going insane was I got a TV job and I was like, I'm going to spend some of this money on a thing that will make me happy. And I bought a twenty eighteen Ford Mustang. And then I was like, I'm going to learn to like work on cars on this. So I started to try and make it faster, with varying results. 00:19:39 Speaker 2: I didn't realize you tried to make it fast. 00:19:40 Speaker 3: I did, and like it's like learning about like adding components to the engine and stuff. 00:19:45 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 00:19:46 Speaker 3: And then I was like, well, this thing deserves some pomp and circumstance. So I named it swamp Trash and I made a logo for it of a big possum, and I made fake sponsors for it, and I just decorated the fuck this car. And I think it Like people are like, do you think this is cool or is this a bit? And I'm like, it's it's both. 00:20:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's absolutely both. 00:20:09 Speaker 3: All the difference anymore. 00:20:11 Speaker 2: Do you get comments from strangers about it. 00:20:14 Speaker 3: Yes, I get a lot of thumbs up, a lot of people looking at it, and then like real car guys will look at me like I'm an asshole, which I'm totally cool. 00:20:20 Speaker 2: That's the best compliment you can possibly get. 00:20:22 Speaker 3: One time, I accidentally drove to Bob's Big Boy in it on like car night, and the amount of truly I was like, I didn't know it was car night, and I like went through all these like camaros and shit, and like the angry, mean girl looks I got from every dentist with disposal income was shocking, how just and I just like did the little like drive in, turn around, drive out. I have not wanted here. 00:20:48 Speaker 2: Well, to be fair to them, you are kind of making fun. 00:20:51 Speaker 3: Of the kind of but also celebrating. 00:20:53 Speaker 2: Yes, I think it's really a beautiful thing. And the logo, the possum logo is so incredible And I'm not even a pos someome person, but I think. 00:21:01 Speaker 3: It works increase the possum guy. 00:21:03 Speaker 2: I am too, to be honest, I've like finally like something has broken in me. I saw enough pictures of baby possums that like, I'm getting on board with the entire creature. 00:21:13 Speaker 3: They also are in the swamp, but they're not like the swampiest animal. I think about that a lot. That like they're everywhere. 00:21:20 Speaker 2: Everywhere except for Utah, Yeah, which is I never I never saw a possum until I lived in La and then I was like, Oh, that thing's under my car. Oh my god. 00:21:28 Speaker 3: I like them. I like the little rat tail. 00:21:31 Speaker 2: What do you think is the swampiest creature? 00:21:33 Speaker 3: Probably an alligator, sure, or like a water moccasin, but that's like too. 00:21:37 Speaker 2: Cool for what's a water moccasin. 00:21:39 Speaker 3: It's really poisonous snake. There's probably a better real name, all right. 00:21:44 Speaker 2: And they swim, they swim, oh evil. 00:21:46 Speaker 3: And apparently this is what I was told growing up. Maybe this is like not true, but like if you get bit by by one once, there's an antidote, but it won't work the second time you. 00:21:55 Speaker 2: Get it's a learn your lessons exactly. Wow, that's fascinating. I just read The Orchid Thief and it's a very swamp heavy book, and I just love reading about the swamp and just what a bizarre place it is. 00:22:10 Speaker 3: It really is a cool place. I'm from Louisiana, by the way, that's why it's called swamp trash, just like a maniac. 00:22:16 Speaker 2: Have you I imagine you've been on swamp tours? 00:22:19 Speaker 3: Yes? 00:22:19 Speaker 2: Have you ever just been into the swamp by yourself? 00:22:22 Speaker 3: So like we used to. There's a river in my town outside of New Orleans called, uh the Bugafalaya River. 00:22:30 Speaker 5: Oh, I love that name, and we used to go uh tubing in it, okay, and you would fall out of the tube like drag behind a boat tubing, all right, and you'd fall out and you'd see like gators on the shore and stuff like. 00:22:43 Speaker 2: That's terrifying. 00:22:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're just nine years old floating in dark water like oh, waiting for the boat to come around. 00:22:51 Speaker 2: I have a hard time in just like a normal lake. I can't imagine. Did you know anybody who was attacked by a gator? 00:22:57 Speaker 3: I did not? Do you ask all your guests? 00:23:00 Speaker 2: I should put that on the list. We're gonna find somebody who knows somebody. 00:23:05 Speaker 3: This is the second podcast I've talked about this on. But gators don't bite you. I mean they do, but their main motive attack is not biting you. 00:23:12 Speaker 2: Is it the tail? 00:23:12 Speaker 3: They hug you and very sweet. 00:23:17 Speaker 2: Their problem is loving too much? Wow, I didn't realize. 00:23:21 Speaker 3: Yeah, they like wrap around you and then drown you. 00:23:24 Speaker 2: Whoa and then eat you. Then you so do crocodiles bite? 00:23:27 Speaker 3: Crocodiles bite the shit out of you. 00:23:29 Speaker 2: Interesting and I feel like we tried to get to the bottom of this on a recent episode of like where crocodiles live? 00:23:36 Speaker 3: Is it. 00:23:38 Speaker 2: Probably Australia, so they're not in the Americas. 00:23:41 Speaker 3: I'm sure some have gotten here, right, but that's where they're from. 00:23:45 Speaker 2: I this is kind of related. I was in Hawaii a couple of months ago and I was told we were in Kawaii and their chickens everywhere. And we were told the way the chickens got there is there was a hurricane and blew them all there. Leave this. 00:24:02 Speaker 3: That sounds like a fun thing to tell taurusts. Right, Maybe are there a lot of hurricanes the. 00:24:08 Speaker 2: Hawaii Well, I guess it would be a typhoon. 00:24:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it wrecked the ship that had some chickens on it. 00:24:13 Speaker 2: Something closer, or maybe someone's just brought them. 00:24:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, that also makes sense. It's a thing that people cultivate. 00:24:20 Speaker 2: I just kind of mentioned a chicken being blown around so much by a hurricane that I got to another island and was still alive. 00:24:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, either unless, but I don't want to doubt someone's story either. 00:24:30 Speaker 2: That's fun, tell you anything, and maybe it's true. Yeah, I think that. I mean it's wilder. Things have happened, and maybe a hen got blown there and killed and then an egg popped out of it. 00:24:42 Speaker 3: Now we're talking. Maybe a bigger bird killed a hen and carried. 00:24:47 Speaker 2: It and sprinkled its eggs all though. See, these are things that can happen in nature. Yes, and well, speaking of bad things, Colin, I was looking forward to have you're here on the podcast today. I thought, Colin will come by, we'll you speculate on how chickens got to different places, and then we'll move on with our days. So I was a little surprised. The podcast is called I said no gifts, So I was. I was floored when you showed up holding this beautifully wrapped gift. 00:25:21 Speaker 3: Well, I bring you gifts every time we see each other. There has nothing to do with the podcast. You spoil me, Yes, it's like we both get off on it. 00:25:29 Speaker 2: Yes, exactly, there's something. It's a sick game. So I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. Well, it's in this beautifully wrapped bag. It's this gift bag by Ralph. Yes, you obviously got the up Papyrus or one of these classy stores. Should I open it here on the podcast? 00:25:47 Speaker 3: Yes, I think you should. 00:25:48 Speaker 2: Okay, so we'll dip into this bag Ralph's fresh for us. Let's see here. That's oh, what is the smelling salts? 00:26:05 Speaker 3: Smelling salts? 00:26:06 Speaker 2: But it has like a holograph of a screaming lion on it. It looks like, you know, it's like almost like Devian Art style lion drawing. And it's for inhalation only, and it's by the band band by the this could be a band Bodas Son brand Bodas on what's going on? 00:26:28 Speaker 3: So this is smelling salts recently? Is the thing that I have like sort of half ironically gotten into. It's a thing that weightlifters use to like get hype to lift weights again. 00:26:40 Speaker 2: Theme, the way you're bordering on actual drugs is very interesting. 00:26:43 Speaker 3: I mean yes, uh. And also NFL players use the two high concussion symptoms. 00:26:49 Speaker 2: What and oh this is dark. 00:26:53 Speaker 3: So we saw my friends and I who watched football together saw like a segment where some guys tried this on the air, and they were all like kind of wreaking out, and so we bought some and did them, and it's extremely unpleasant but also kind of gets you real excited. And so I wanted to include you in this journey that I'm on. So I thought we could do some smelling salts on the air. And this was just the like most gas station looking one I could find. 00:27:17 Speaker 2: Where did you get these? 00:27:18 Speaker 3: I got this on the internet? 00:27:20 Speaker 2: How dangerous is this? 00:27:21 Speaker 3: It's not dangerous. It's just like concentrated cat piss. Basically, it's not gonna hurt you, except for it'll be unpleasant. 00:27:29 Speaker 2: Well, before I get before I lose my mind, we should talk about the science of this. Do you know anything about how it does? Any of this? 00:27:37 Speaker 3: It's just ammonia that, like I think, just really opens up your nasal passages and there's a lot of oxygen. 00:27:42 Speaker 2: Your don't you're going to be the last guest on this podcast. 00:27:47 Speaker 3: Just because you're gonna devote your life to the smelling. 00:27:49 Speaker 2: Salts selling them? Yeah, I found my true My true calling is selling smelling salts. So wait, what is the actual like use for these? 00:27:58 Speaker 3: What was the original I think I gus for fainting Victorian ladies. Oh, of course, like waking them up. 00:28:05 Speaker 2: And then the second is hiding concussions. How does it hide them? 00:28:10 Speaker 3: It like I don't know, It like focuses you temporarily. Wow. 00:28:13 Speaker 2: Have they done anything to correct the concussion? 00:28:17 Speaker 3: Yes? 00:28:18 Speaker 2: What? 00:28:18 Speaker 3: They now have these things called guardian caps that are like big soft layers on top of the football house that apparently do like decrease the repetitive injury. Really, but it's optional and guys don't wear them because they look goofy Oh. 00:28:33 Speaker 2: No, So it's like kids on bikes in the nineties. 00:28:35 Speaker 3: Yes, exactly. 00:28:36 Speaker 2: Okay, so like in twenty years they'll finally be like, well, I can't believe we weren't wearing our guardian caps. So do any of them wear these? 00:28:44 Speaker 3: I've seen certain guys do wear them, and then everyone makes. 00:28:46 Speaker 2: Fun these losers. Safety first, exactly, you're making a ton of money just put on this thing and so you don't end up losing your mind when you're fifty. 00:28:56 Speaker 3: And I think I'm starting to like kind of like it because I think see this, they look kind of like toad On from Marrow. 00:29:03 Speaker 2: Oh that's a great look. They should sponsor somebody Oh, that would be wonderful, Guardian cap. 00:29:09 Speaker 3: Let's see teaching about all sorts of things. 00:29:11 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is great. It looks like big head mode in video. 00:29:17 Speaker 3: We just need to embrace it. It's fun. 00:29:18 Speaker 2: These are incredible. This looks like something from the Last of Us. They're all kinds of things. These are great. Yeah, agreed, If just one cool NFL player would wear one, they would all do it. They kind of look like grenades. 00:29:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, they do kind of look like grenade. 00:29:34 Speaker 2: This is fantastic. Oh, I want to wear one of these in real lives. 00:29:37 Speaker 3: I'm not to say, like, if you can get a bigger version of your head to wear on top of your head, I feel like that would be a really good move. 00:29:44 Speaker 2: Wow, somebody should do something. Some of these actually kind of look see that looks kind of sleek. 00:29:49 Speaker 3: Yeah. 00:29:52 Speaker 2: I don't know if the video person can see this or not, but that looks almost like a volleyball, basically like a giant volleyball stuck on top of some body's head. I'm I'm for it, but and I am cool, so you are, Yeah, So I think that that's fine. Well, I had no idea somebody had tried the idea of like being an NFL player at this point and knowing how awful it can be for somebody and not wearing one of those, that's it's bonkers. 00:30:17 Speaker 3: But then I feel like we're all making choices like not me. 00:30:23 Speaker 2: I did realize. I mean, I haven't snowboarded in years, but like when I was, I never wore a helmet. 00:30:28 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, First of all, you're way too cool for that. I'm talking about like eating microplastics. It's like we're all killing ourselves with a bunch of things. 00:30:36 Speaker 2: Anyway, Yes, that's true, that's very true. But I don't know. If I was on a motorcycle, I would definitely wear a helmet. Yes, absolutely, An NFL player, if they were on a motorcycle, would probably wear a helmet. I'm trying to reach out to our NFL base. That's most of our listeners are guys. 00:30:54 Speaker 3: Players, but also general managers. 00:30:56 Speaker 2: Of course of course the coaches. It's everybody involved. But yeah, that's uh, I wonder. 00:31:03 Speaker 3: I love your Super Bowl episode. Oh yeah, of course you did a live reaction to the game. 00:31:09 Speaker 2: We turned it off during the halftime show. I was too mad. I was screaming. I had to go over to America's halftime. What is that? What that was called the kid Rock? Is that what it was called? Turning Point? Unsays, Uh, yeah, I didn't. 00:31:24 Speaker 3: I don't know much about it because I've I used to really like like a pig and ship sort of dive into that stuff, and I'm like, I can't. 00:31:33 Speaker 2: Let that be part of my Like they've taken up too much of my life already. Exactly, but no, of course, Yeah, the super Bowl episode was the ratings were huge, and we'll be back again next year. Football fans tuning. 00:31:46 Speaker 3: In, Oh man, we're gonna do it now. 00:31:49 Speaker 2: Kind of half. I actually there was a while I made a joke about this a long time ago, but I said, like, I wonder what would come out of my mouth if somebody had a gun to my head and said, commentation football game? Because I have, I do not know what I would be able to say. 00:32:03 Speaker 3: This is the best idea I've ever heard. I think we should dynasty typewriter. We will live commentate the super Bowl next year. 00:32:12 Speaker 2: That's a good hostage movie. But it's just me commentating the super Bowl with a gun to my head. 00:32:18 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like speed, Yeah, it's exactly. If he says one thing that is like completely unmasculine your head. 00:32:27 Speaker 2: And I'm kind of a Sandy Bullock tie. Yes exactly, this is speed three. Was there a speed three. 00:32:33 Speaker 3: Versus speed I checked that after cruise control. 00:32:35 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:32:35 Speaker 2: I think that like they kind of took it as far as possible. I can't believe they haven't rebooted speed. 00:32:40 Speaker 3: It is funny. Yeah, first of all, that is crazy. But like when you're thinking about, like what's the escalation from bus can't slow down cruise shif is a strange choice. 00:32:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like there were so many other things that could have done in between the two of those, and. 00:32:53 Speaker 3: You can't tell the difference. If a cruise ship is going. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: The cruise ship would have to be going so fast. A cruise ship going like a thousand miles hour. 00:33:04 Speaker 3: Now that I would watch. So what's your Okay, let's let's go through what's your ideal speed too? Vehicle? 00:33:10 Speaker 2: Okay? Over a bus okay. So and let me remind myself of the rules of speed. If it went under fifty miles an hour. 00:33:18 Speaker 3: Under fifty it would blow up. There's a bomb on board. I don't would have. 00:33:21 Speaker 2: Gone like seventy five. Why were they fifty is such a mild speed. 00:33:25 Speaker 3: I mean for a bus though. 00:33:26 Speaker 2: I know, but it's a movie, right, Do you. 00:33:30 Speaker 3: Remember what the bad guy was hoping to achieve social like mister Beast like. 00:33:38 Speaker 2: He's gonna do it, he will, He's going to do it, and then he's also going to somehow cure blindness while it's happening. But uh, I can't remember. I just remember the bus, and then I remember like somebody crawling into the sewer at the end or something. Is that right? 00:33:52 Speaker 3: I think they were all right? Did they end up in the subway? 00:33:57 Speaker 2: I remember like somebody lifting like a or hydron off the ground and being like I'm out of here, or of. 00:34:03 Speaker 3: Course you gotta In the bus movie, in the sewer, creators are making some wild choices. 00:34:12 Speaker 2: But somebody needs to go back and get their eyes on that movie because I need to obviously. But yeah, what could the goal have possibly been? You just hated Sandra Bola. 00:34:20 Speaker 3: Distractions or x you see, like robbing a bank while everyone's watching the bus that canceled down. Seems like there's easier distractions. 00:34:28 Speaker 2: I hope it was somebody at the back of the bus that just needed to get some more fast like that moved. But yeah, my second vehicle choice, like, what would be something that would be fun to watch those really? Yeah? That or a bacco I would say, yeah, I like a bacco. There's certain I love cement trucks, truck going really fast that there's not enough at risk there. It's just basically like one guy and some cement. 00:35:01 Speaker 3: That's true, So we need a high occupancy vehicle. All right, blimp, we're now we're getting to the cruise control territory exactly. 00:35:12 Speaker 2: And again I don't know how many people. Yeah, there aren't that many things. 00:35:16 Speaker 3: Perfect choice. It's hard to beat bussing. 00:35:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's buss and then cruise ship. 00:35:20 Speaker 3: And buses that they can't go fast but has to go fast, which I think is part of. 00:35:23 Speaker 2: It, right, and there's not that much fuel. 00:35:26 Speaker 3: Maybe like fifteen motorcycles. 00:35:29 Speaker 2: I think a float would be fun. Breat floats and you have to keep entertaining the crowd. It has to be the best float ever done. 00:35:37 Speaker 3: Well. Okay, there is a movie that no one saw at all, and I was really drunk the first time I saw it, so I was like, this is a masterpiece. And then I made all my friends watch it and they all hated it, and it's called Grand Piano. Oh do you know this movie. It's a movie I think starring Elijah Wood as a concert pianist who has to get play a whole piece from memory. If he plays one wrong note, the piano explodes. And what I remember I can't remember how he found out, but I think he's got like an ear piece in and it's like, if you fuck up, you're gonna blow up. And then I remember that it ends with him like on the back of a flatbed truck, still playing the piano. 00:36:17 Speaker 2: Was this before or after? Was it Vanessa Carlton or Michelle Branch who drove the piano around town? 00:36:23 Speaker 3: I think this is after. It might have beens prior. 00:36:27 Speaker 2: Based on the music. Wow, I have to see that. 00:36:31 Speaker 3: You should watch Grand Piano. 00:36:32 Speaker 2: I mean, anyone who's ever had piano lessons can relate so directly to the I remember, like Missus Ziegler, her eyes just on the back of my head while I was playing the Friends theme song or whatever. 00:36:42 Speaker 3: Did you learn the Friends themes for a recital? Did you do the claps? 00:36:46 Speaker 2: I should have? 00:36:47 Speaker 3: You really should. 00:36:47 Speaker 2: That was her fault. That was my piano. 00:36:49 Speaker 3: Teachers come on. What's the main thing about this? 00:36:51 Speaker 2: Yes, how did a seventy year old woman not tell me to do the hand claps? 00:36:55 Speaker 3: She's not about getting outside the box. 00:36:58 Speaker 2: What a flop she was? Okay, Well, I think we should try these. I think, okay, this is so dangerous. I want to say you do it first. 00:37:06 Speaker 3: But I think it's more fun if you do it. 00:37:08 Speaker 2: Maybe we should have alis do them first. 00:37:12 Speaker 3: So it's become a thing now among my friend group at parties to like do smelling salts. 00:37:17 Speaker 2: And these are different than bath salts. 00:37:19 Speaker 3: These are different than best okay, because nothing bad is going to happen to you accept something extremely bad, like no damage will be done. 00:37:27 Speaker 2: How does this not like further concussion problem? 00:37:30 Speaker 3: Man? Maybe it does. Okay, maybe this is like GLP one. We'll find out that this is going to kill me. 00:37:35 Speaker 2: Kid smelling the box, you can smell it through the box. 00:37:38 Speaker 3: So usually when I do is little ampules and you crack them and do it. But I think this is just like a jar of goo that you open up. 00:37:44 Speaker 2: This is okay, just have directions. Do not use if you have respiratory conditions, you have asthma, ye, okay, well then that's I'm I guess I can do them. Okay, opening it? What a cute little bottle. Cute bottle ten to fifteen centimeters from nostrils. Inhaled gently, Do not place it directly in the nostril. Do not inhale for more than two seconds. Do not use more than once every sixty. 00:38:15 Speaker 4: Op take Can we hold for just one moment? 00:38:19 Speaker 3: Please call the insurance company? 00:38:21 Speaker 2: What's going on? 00:38:23 Speaker 3: Oh boy, I am the first one to bring like a gift so bad that it's not allowed to be used. 00:38:30 Speaker 2: Something is something has gone wrong corporate? 00:38:34 Speaker 4: No, it's all it is. 00:38:34 Speaker 2: One second okay, Oh, I just do them right now before anyway, just for fun, Ellie, what's going on? 00:38:43 Speaker 4: I just want to make sure everything's okay for you to use these. 00:38:48 Speaker 2: Let's see here. 00:38:49 Speaker 3: I didn't mean to peer pressure, like. 00:38:52 Speaker 2: The steaks of this are very hot. This is I think that this is a to edit this a little bit, but I you, like, this is something that people need to experience in real time, whether or not I can use the smell exce. I mean, well, I wonder if I'll let you use them. 00:39:10 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm I haven't used this particular brand. 00:39:15 Speaker 2: This is uh. I can't believe this. 00:39:17 Speaker 3: This is a I am truly sorry. If this caused some sort of there's nothing. 00:39:20 Speaker 2: To apologize or I like how dangerous this is because. 00:39:23 Speaker 3: Can we're talking football, motorcycles. 00:39:25 Speaker 2: This is the episode I've ever done. I should have worn sunglasses. Let's see here, there's a lot of concern behind the scenes. Yeah, this is looking a little We're not sure. 00:39:41 Speaker 3: I'm happy to be the only one that does it. 00:39:43 Speaker 4: I'm sure it's fine, but I just I want to be extra of course. I want to make sure you guys are both safe. 00:39:48 Speaker 2: And have blood on your hands exactly. 00:39:50 Speaker 4: I don't want anything your health. I just don't want to, you know, have anything come back on to me. That's my concern. 00:39:57 Speaker 2: Would Joe Rogan do it, that's the big question. I think Joe would have done it. And that's how I lead my life. 00:40:03 Speaker 3: I went on dough Boys before. There's no one worried about like the food I was. 00:40:08 Speaker 2: I thought you were gonna be like I had them do this smell. 00:40:11 Speaker 3: We did poppers on do this is. 00:40:16 Speaker 4: I was reading some stuff about smelling salts and I just you. 00:40:19 Speaker 2: Know, oh, this is entirely You're not even talking to the network. 00:40:22 Speaker 4: No, I'm having I'm having Jessica come in just to get confirmation. Listen, if you all want to pass yourselves out. 00:40:28 Speaker 3: I'm so for I'm just making them all the time. 00:40:33 Speaker 2: I'm just gonna. 00:40:37 Speaker 4: Just please don't sniff too hard. That's what we're coming back. You can do it, just don't do yourself to Thank you very much. 00:40:45 Speaker 2: I appreciate your humor. 00:40:50 Speaker 3: I don't wake up. I'm gonna say it's pretty weak. 00:40:52 Speaker 2: Oh it is. Oh, I mean, it's like it's like when you're mopping the house or yeah. 00:41:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's kind of like concentrated. 00:41:04 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a sort of thing where you think, oh, no, I've just damaged my brain and I was all I was trying to do is mop the house. 00:41:11 Speaker 3: But I always get like a little bit excited after it. 00:41:13 Speaker 2: There's a there's a familiar feeling about that to me. That's like something else. I think it is just cleaning the house and the natural high of having a tidy This is. 00:41:22 Speaker 3: This is why NFL players love is they never clean their own house. 00:41:24 Speaker 2: They don't know, oh yeah, they have so manyone does it for right. This is like kind of the artificial way of feeling like you're clean. 00:41:32 Speaker 3: And you know what, there might be even some like yeah, it's like I mean, it. 00:41:38 Speaker 2: Is kind of you get that kind of like yeah, and it's like if you've ever had a cat, it's like cat litter, the smell of cat. 00:41:48 Speaker 3: So that's your. 00:41:50 Speaker 2: How were you introduced to this? 00:41:52 Speaker 3: We just did it at a friend's wedding. My friend brought a bunch of ampules of it, and like the liqu ones are even more powerful, and it was really fun. It's fun to watch other people sort of get initiated into it right right, And so now I just like I do it. 00:42:12 Speaker 2: Now you're addicted and it's a problem. 00:42:13 Speaker 3: I like doing it like concerts, And. 00:42:17 Speaker 2: I guess you can take these anywhere. You probably take it on a plane. 00:42:20 Speaker 3: You do, right a CoP's face. 00:42:24 Speaker 2: Get pulled over. 00:42:26 Speaker 3: It's legal. Sorry, the one hundred and twenty miles per hour I was driving was i'tllegal. 00:42:33 Speaker 2: Wow, it's so fascinating. I'm really I think this is such an interesting thing that I'm now addicted to. 00:42:38 Speaker 3: It's so funny that like after all that build up, you're just like, oh, it's. 00:42:40 Speaker 2: Kind of nice. Yeah, it's just kind of a thing that I can imagine this way EMT should have these. 00:42:46 Speaker 3: I think they probably do. 00:42:47 Speaker 2: They put them under your nose, like that's the first line of something. And do you just have like a whole cupboard of these at home now. 00:42:55 Speaker 3: I had a big box of them and we've gone through them. 00:43:00 Speaker 2: Do you have a favorite brand? 00:43:03 Speaker 3: There's one that looks a little more medical. It's like in a white box. It doesn't have a lot and those are that's the good stuff. 00:43:13 Speaker 2: That's for babies, that's for losers and babies and geeks. 00:43:16 Speaker 3: Well, I thought this one was gonna be overwhelming because there was a line on this. 00:43:19 Speaker 2: Is kind of nothing. It does look like gas station. 00:43:22 Speaker 3: Brandy, which which is what I Who are. 00:43:24 Speaker 2: The companies behind these gas station brands? That's my big question. 00:43:27 Speaker 3: I saw a guy I get the weirdest sit on Instagram. 00:43:30 Speaker 2: I believe that. 00:43:30 Speaker 3: There's like a chemist who like buys this stuff and like analyzes it to see if it's like there's real stuff in it or not. And some of them do have like weird stimulusstuff. What I don't I didn't pay enough tention, but like he's like, yeah, this will mess you up. This is basically legal speed or whatever. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: WHOA yeah, I mean I guess it. Truck stops sometimes you're looking for something. 00:43:53 Speaker 3: Always I know, I. 00:43:56 Speaker 2: Oh, do they come in different flavors or anything? No, it's always just that I feel like that would be a natural thing. Just add some yeah, put some menthol in. Right, It's for smelling, so why not make it smell beyond? 00:44:11 Speaker 3: This is maybe a growth industry. Like, yes, it's legal for children to do. 00:44:19 Speaker 2: It's truly for anybody. Ever. People should have this around the house. 00:44:23 Speaker 3: Like a chicken in every pot, smelling. 00:44:29 Speaker 2: Smelling salts and everything salts everywhere. This does feel like at a really bad diner, like at a waffle house. You could probably buy these at the front counter a. 00:44:38 Speaker 3: Bad diner in front of me. This is the one thing I will throw hands. 00:44:42 Speaker 2: I've never been to waffle house. 00:44:43 Speaker 3: House is wonderful. It does not deserve the place in our culture that it has, is it. 00:44:50 Speaker 2: Let me ask you, I despise Denny's better than Dennis Oh my. 00:44:54 Speaker 3: God, you would spit Denny's out of your mouth. 00:44:57 Speaker 2: I do regularly after having this. And the way the reason I'll say that Denny's is so horrible is because not only is it bad, it's not even cheap for how bad it is. 00:45:06 Speaker 3: Yes, I agree. 00:45:07 Speaker 2: I feel like it's robbing Americans in a way where I'm like if it was like cheap. 00:45:12 Speaker 3: Sure, you know that cartoon of Mickey Mouse like cutting the bean and like. 00:45:17 Speaker 2: Little that's like a very early memory for me. That's from Prince and the Popper. 00:45:22 Speaker 3: Yes, that's where I feel like. That's how they make their bacon, is like there's a big thing of bacon and they're cutting a little, transparent, tiny thing of bacon off of it. 00:45:30 Speaker 2: Absolutely, then it's more like a moth wing moth wing baconth. 00:45:35 Speaker 3: Wing bacon, which is like that does feel like it's gonna be a trendy. 00:45:39 Speaker 2: Absolutely. Waffle House is like decent quality food. 00:45:42 Speaker 3: House is fucking good. Food, is delicious, it's cheap, and it's open all the time. And the reason it has a reputation for being like a place for dirt bags is because it's so good and open that drunk people go there and start a bunch of shit, right, And then because of that, the staff has to get. 00:45:58 Speaker 2: Good, right, have to do kung fu training or something. 00:46:02 Speaker 3: It is fucking good food. And I would say anyone if you're in the South, go to waffle House. They probably support. 00:46:08 Speaker 2: The worst excellent cause. 00:46:12 Speaker 3: But I do. I do love the food a lot. 00:46:14 Speaker 2: Is the menu expansive or is it just like breakfast? 00:46:17 Speaker 3: It's pretty expansive, really. They have, you know, all sorts of sandwiches and stuff. Okay, the waffles are very good. 00:46:24 Speaker 2: Though, and oh okay, so what you're saying is the rest of the menu is not great. 00:46:27 Speaker 3: I've never had like the Chicken Club or anything. I always get the breakfast. 00:46:31 Speaker 2: I feel like a club sandwhich. If a restaurant can't make a decent club sandwhich, something has gone extremely wrong. Because it's a it's just like good things A bunch of them put together, agreed, And I. 00:46:43 Speaker 3: Say, a white chicken breast, you can fuck up. Oh they've all had a dry white chicken. 00:46:48 Speaker 2: Or of one where you're like, I don't know if this is cooked all the way through. Oh now I'm scared. But Turkey Club is an easier one, or it's just Deli meats. Yes, Chicken Club is a little bit trickier. I guess you're that's true. But a club sandwich in general should be good on almost that and a cop salad should be good on any men. 00:47:05 Speaker 3: Is a club sandwich from like country club. 00:47:08 Speaker 2: Is that it's a good question. 00:47:09 Speaker 3: It feels like country club food today. 00:47:11 Speaker 2: Right, but structurally also feels like the club. You know it's got two floors and club Yeah. Yeah, what's the VIP section of the club sand I think they're named after the Ray, after Raves. I'll have a rave sandwich club sandwich. It must be from like an old country club or something. 00:47:28 Speaker 3: Now I want to go to a club and pass out club sandwiches. 00:47:34 Speaker 2: The hottest people in the world rolling on a eating turkey. 00:47:37 Speaker 3: Club mayonnaise on their face. 00:47:43 Speaker 2: Well, I feel great about this new product. I don't know. 00:47:46 Speaker 3: I think you should work it into this and pre workout into your daily resident. 00:47:50 Speaker 2: I was this is like an embarrassing thing to say loud, but I was trying to take creatine for a small minute because I was told it was good. I want to clarify for your brain. There's a ton of science about it being good for your brain. But then my doctor said, my kidney, My kidneys are something going wrong there. I thought this coincides with taking creatine. 00:48:08 Speaker 3: That would make sense. I mean, now, what am. 00:48:10 Speaker 2: I supposed to do? My brain's just supposed to atrophy. 00:48:13 Speaker 3: I guess so only game in town. 00:48:18 Speaker 2: That's that was the only thing I've ever taken as like a supplement and it's been taken from me. 00:48:23 Speaker 3: What did you feel like you had material benefits from it or was it more just preventative. 00:48:27 Speaker 2: I think just preventative, Yeah, I mean anything that it was doing. I did not feel outside of apparently it harming my kidneys, but that may have been something else maybe, so I might toy with it again in the future. 00:48:40 Speaker 3: I had a weird thing where I got I was sick and nothing was like fixing it, uh huh. And I took a blood test and I got a phone call where the lady at the blood test lab was like, I don't do this. We aren't supposed to call people who but you need to go to the hospital because like normal whatever some level, some kidney level, Like she's like a normal number is twenty seven and you have eleven hundred ooh. And so I had to go to the hospital. And I spent like two weeks with like at Cedar SINAI, with like one of some of the best infectious disease people in the country, trying to figure out what was wrong with me and not Shay. They didn't. They were like, you have some virus that we don't have a name for, and we're you're lucky it's going away, because otherwise we couldn't do anything. 00:49:24 Speaker 2: You could have been a star if you had gotten that virus. Yeah, what a missed opportunity for you. 00:49:31 Speaker 3: Wow, that's my MTV meter would have shot up. 00:49:35 Speaker 2: You would have been in at least top thousands for sure. I what was I going to say about this? Something about oh, this person saying oh, we don't usually do this. It's like, wait, you saw an alarming number and you what do you usually do? 00:49:49 Speaker 3: They're just they're supposed to let doctors do that, and like tell the doctors. 00:49:52 Speaker 2: I feel like if there's an extremely scary number, there should be some protocol. It's like, well, maybe we let the person know. 00:49:59 Speaker 3: I agree, But then you get into the weird like well, what where's the line? 00:50:03 Speaker 2: Right? 00:50:03 Speaker 3: I was so far over those But. 00:50:04 Speaker 2: For her for going rogue, yeah, she probably lost her job. You owe that woman a. 00:50:08 Speaker 3: Lot, Owe her so much. She's calling me all the time. 00:50:12 Speaker 2: Begging for me, how you saved you? 00:50:17 Speaker 3: What have you done with it? 00:50:19 Speaker 2: I do feel like public service announcement. My brother just found out he has Celiac disease, and his doctor basically wouldn't let him. He was like, no, you shouldn't take the test for that. For over a year, my brother was about to have his gallbladder. Sorry this shit man, Yeah, my brother was about to have his gall bladder removed, and they were like, no, it's fine. And my brother finally took this test and they're like, oh, your number is at five hundred. It's supposed to be five or below. So I don't what are doctors doing. 00:50:47 Speaker 3: I think doctors. Look, I don't want to get into all so rogan thing here, but doctors increasingly have become your go between for Google, like because it's like eighty percent of the time that like this applies, and I don't want to do the like extra workup stuff. I mean. 00:51:01 Speaker 2: The thing that I think occurs to you as you get older is that like you realize, like the professionals in your life that's their job, and they might be bad at their job, so it might be like don't maybe don't do your own research, maybe just go to another doctor. 00:51:12 Speaker 3: I'm not anti doctor, but I do think there's like a culture of doctors being like, you know, what's that thing when they uh, you hear hoof beats its horses, not zebras or whatever. Oh, I've never heard this lie, and sometimes it's fucking zebras, And you've got to account for the like five percent of times. 00:51:29 Speaker 2: So that's something to kind of say, stop worrying. Yeah, and if you hear your doctors say that, maybe find another doctor, because why are they using this fokesy phrase. 00:51:38 Speaker 3: Oh you're kind of like a docy what lost the car or whatever? 00:51:43 Speaker 2: She drives off in his wagon. 00:51:47 Speaker 3: Sweating and sallow. 00:51:50 Speaker 2: No. I like my doctor. If anyone needs a doctor, Doctor Paccino is very good. Doctor Piccino has been very good to me. Okay, but I have had some bad doctors the past. My first really bad experience with the doctor was over a televisit. I still don't trust a television. 00:52:06 Speaker 3: I like it at all. 00:52:07 Speaker 2: I need a human being to touch me in some way because otherwise I just don't believe that they really know what's going on. 00:52:13 Speaker 3: I think there's also a psychological aspect of like a doctor has touched. 00:52:17 Speaker 2: Me truly, Like I think there is a little bit of the sugar pill aspectum it or something that's like, uh, yeah, I don't do a televisit at all anymore. 00:52:27 Speaker 3: Do you ever do a televisit and the doctor has like the fake background of like a living room behind them? 00:52:33 Speaker 2: Oh, no, that would be horrible. 00:52:34 Speaker 3: I did not care for this at all. 00:52:36 Speaker 2: Which you know, it should be a busy hospital scene or like a lab with all the colorful liquids and beakers. 00:52:43 Speaker 3: Give me, yeah, a white wall with like a jar of tongue depressors, yes, exactly. I don't want to see a fucking like Creighton barrel. 00:52:50 Speaker 2: Behind No, no, no, no. 00:52:52 Speaker 3: I did not care for it. 00:52:53 Speaker 2: Wow, or one of they should have one of those weird AI backgrounds that you see all the time that's like a cozy cabin, but like there's something very uncanny about a. 00:53:02 Speaker 3: Weird cafe with snowfalling out d exactly. 00:53:05 Speaker 2: The thing. I've started looking at those more closely. I'm like, what here is something that a human being would not think is normal? And usually there'll be like a fireplace that's like so separate from the rest of the house, that's like next to a lake, but it's a regular fireplace. It's like, I know, a computer thought that's a cozy thing next to a beautiful thing. But that's not mechanically or engineering wise. That doesn't make any sense. 00:53:27 Speaker 3: Like this, this is gonna be the stop say either, they're kind of fun, puzzle way of these things is just a nightmare. 00:53:37 Speaker 2: Okay, well I've done my smelling songs. I finally, I think this was the first time I've ever been peer pressured into doing anything really yeah, pretty, let's see. I'm trying to think back. If there's anybody's never peer pressured me, I don't think they have. I'm very strong. 00:53:50 Speaker 3: I'm sorry if I I don't like the idea of peer pressuring you, I do again these games we play. 00:53:57 Speaker 2: Put me on camera and you can get me to do anything the same. Was there anything left to say about smelling salts? 00:54:04 Speaker 3: I think everyone should try them. Really fun. Yeah, here's the thing. I went to the again, I know how like Browie and Millennial, I'm coming off on this. When I went to LCD sound System. 00:54:21 Speaker 2: And I was James Murphy come. 00:54:22 Speaker 3: In like I saw the wallpaper. I think this is a millennial friendly environment. And I was on mushrooms and we had smelling salts, and I did a smelling salt when the chorus of North Americans come it, and I don't think I've ever felt better in my entire life. 00:54:42 Speaker 2: You got in hymns dot com. You were ordering bombas. 00:54:46 Speaker 3: In my Alberts writing for Obama writing him in. 00:54:56 Speaker 2: No, that sounds like a nice time, it does. That sounds like a perfectly fine time. Where were you seeing them? 00:55:01 Speaker 3: The Bowl? 00:55:02 Speaker 2: Oh? At the bowl? 00:55:03 Speaker 3: Was that with Pulp? 00:55:05 Speaker 2: I wanted to see Pulp so bad? 00:55:07 Speaker 3: Was great? Pulpe did this thing. What's the guy's name, I can't remember, Jarvis Cock Starvis Cocker did this thing that I was like, Uh. He was like, I like to I'm going to try something that I've never done before, because he was throwing grapes at people in the audience, and so I'm gonna throw it up in the air and see if I can catch it. I've never caught it before. I was like, this motherfucker catches it every night. And then he caught it in his mouth and the whole place goes crazy. 00:55:27 Speaker 2: I was like, Yeah, that's he's the coolest man a lot. 00:55:30 Speaker 3: Show personship right there. 00:55:31 Speaker 2: If anyone has a chance to see Pulp live and you haven't done it, you absolutely must. If Jarvis reach out, oh, that sounds wonderful, but I ultimately because I'm cheap and just don't like leaving the house, I did not go. 00:55:44 Speaker 3: I also don't like this was my like, let's experiment with leaving the house. 00:55:47 Speaker 2: And also the Hollywood Bowl, getting in and getting out of it is such a huge pain that. 00:55:53 Speaker 3: You just got to know going in that this is going to be an unpleasant experise. 00:55:57 Speaker 2: That's real. Sure, I want to be helicoptered in'd be great, all right, and as not the performer being. 00:56:02 Speaker 3: Helicopter Fucking drones everywhere they should have one. We just have a little like a little like harness hanging off of a drone take. 00:56:10 Speaker 2: Of Indiana Jones style. 00:56:11 Speaker 3: I mean, most people will die screaming, but it would be really cool to just get taken place that's. 00:56:16 Speaker 2: Kind of like a Mary Poppins thing. It should have an umbrella that you hold onto the bottom and it takes. 00:56:21 Speaker 3: It's just on your core strength, whether you live or not. 00:56:26 Speaker 2: I'm willing to try it. 00:56:28 Speaker 3: I look someone coming down on like an umbrella with like sixty drones attached to. 00:56:33 Speaker 2: Oh my god, there's certainly a drone that can carry a human weight. I'm true, right, I've seen. The closest I've seen to that is Donnie Osmond entering by helicopter, dangling from a rope into what was known as the Stadium of Fire. This is something that takes place in Utah every year. 00:56:50 Speaker 3: Wait, state, ifi are a location or an event. 00:56:53 Speaker 2: It's an event on the fourth of July. Light up the night on the fourth of children, Light up the sky on the fourth of July. 00:56:59 Speaker 3: That's part of the nice sounding. Yeah, stadium fire is like a circle of hell. 00:57:04 Speaker 2: It sounds like like the White Snake thing. Wait was it White Snake? What was the thing where the club started on fire and everybody died? 00:57:12 Speaker 3: Uh? White, Great White, Great White. 00:57:14 Speaker 2: Oh and great White. That's the name of the restaurant that's had some racist allegations here in Los Angeles. 00:57:19 Speaker 3: I want, I can't imagine why. 00:57:23 Speaker 2: But Stadium of Fire does sound like it was like a tragic catastrophe, or. 00:57:28 Speaker 3: Like it's in like the Book of Revelations when the Stadium of Fire is ignited. 00:57:32 Speaker 2: This six headed beast enters by helicopter into the Stadium of Fire. 00:57:37 Speaker 3: Donny Osmond by anti Christ. You look, he's charismatic. He's a little bit rock and roll. The two things I know about him. 00:57:46 Speaker 2: A funny rumor I've heard about Donnie Osmond was that, like in the eighties, he was trying to revamp his image. And I don't know if this is true or not, but Michael Jackson told him he should change his name to Viper Viper Osmond. 00:57:58 Speaker 3: Ah, what a mind that would be. 00:58:01 Speaker 2: Can you imagine you pictured Donnie Osmond and then like next to the name Viper doesn't make a ton of not at. 00:58:08 Speaker 3: Oh it's also funny to imagine Donnie wasn't going to Michael Jackson for advice on how to be like broadly likable when, like Michael Jackson's popularity is an insane accident topped up insane talent. 00:58:21 Speaker 2: Absolutely, but it's not like a blueprint. No no, no, no, no, no. One should follow whatever was going on there. That's a path to some tough situations. I think we should play a game. We're going to play a game called Gift Master. But I need a number between one and ten from you. Six, Okay, I have to do Oh I'm looking at these caps again. What do they call the Angel Guardian cap? I got to close the window. I need a number. I was ignoring you completely. 00:58:50 Speaker 3: Okay, what number six? 00:58:52 Speaker 2: I have to do some like calculating to get our game pieces. I'm starting to realize that these smelling salts have done something. 00:58:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're a little peppy. 00:59:01 Speaker 2: So while I'm doing my calculating, promote, recommend do whatever you want. 00:59:06 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. 00:59:06 Speaker 2: So. 00:59:07 Speaker 3: I have a show that I created coming out on Netflix. It's an animated show called strip Law. It is about lawyers in Las Vegas and it is just a hard adult animation comedy. It stars Adam Scott and Janelle James and Steven Root and Shannon Heizella. Probably a million of your former guests are voices on the show. Pretty much any funny improv person in La has been a voice on the show. Yeah. The writing staff was so great. And it's just if you like joke and I know if you like Bridger, I know you like joke a minute stuff because he has worked on some of the best and this is just a joke machine gun animated comedy and comes out February twentieth on Netflix. And if you like Bridger, I think you will like it. 00:59:49 Speaker 2: Okay, I'm sorry, I'm taking forever because I'm high. 00:59:54 Speaker 3: Oh, I've ruined him. This cut to six months, You're like breaking stuff like where's my goddamn smelling salts? 01:00:03 Speaker 2: Okay, everybody go watch Strip Law on Netflix. Colin is the best joke writer I am aware of, and no one is more concerned about things being funny than Colin Crawford. Almost to a fault, probably, Colin wrote I think probably when Twitter wasn't Hell my favorite tweet, and I tried to look it up recently, tried to find it anywhere online and wasn't able to which was so depressing. And I won't even read. I won't even say it aloud here because it was someone you kind of had to look at. 01:00:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's also hard to, you know, recount a tweet. 01:00:33 Speaker 2: Yes, but I will say I had something to do with both Glenn Close and Ellen Burston. 01:00:38 Speaker 3: You want to know it, because I do know that one. 01:00:40 Speaker 2: I'm not you can you repeat it? 01:00:43 Speaker 3: Yes? It is a quote that starts close to Burston. I'm close to Burston. That's the quote, and it's attributed to Glenn Close telling Ellen Burston she really needs to pee over walkie talk. 01:00:58 Speaker 2: I should be printed something. Someone put that on your grave or something. 01:01:02 Speaker 3: I like to imagine its dialogue from a movie where they're motorcycling across America. 01:01:08 Speaker 2: And they haven't pulled over yet. 01:01:10 Speaker 3: Yes, which I honestly sounds like a great movie. 01:01:13 Speaker 2: Oh it's amazing. I'm close to burst, so thank you so much. 01:01:19 Speaker 3: He're the funniest. 01:01:19 Speaker 2: But please go watch. We need people watching funny things more than ever. 01:01:24 Speaker 3: If I can give you old Netflix dirt too, oh please. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell people this. There's a thing you can do on Netflix where you can give something a thumbs up or a thumbs down or two thumbs up, and two thumbs up apparently is really important. 01:01:36 Speaker 2: How do you do that? And why don't they tell people about that? I'm sure know. 01:01:39 Speaker 3: How to do that. I think it's on like the show page. 01:01:42 Speaker 2: Maybe okay, but it was. 01:01:45 Speaker 3: It was expressed to me. The two thumbs up really good to get two thumbs upright, one thumbs up. It's bad for you to get one thumbs up. It's worse than no thumbs. 01:01:55 Speaker 2: Then they should, like, they should send you to a night class to learn these things before you can use Netflix. I agree, because if that matters in any way, they're not letting people know. Yes, I'm not doing anything. 01:02:05 Speaker 3: And probably shouldn't tell people, but please give us two thumbs up. You have so much more power on Netflix than you might think you you really do. 01:02:13 Speaker 2: It's maybe more than you should. Ultimately, I think that maybe somebody else should be stepping and having taste what will? Yeah, but what are you going to do? Okay? Everyone give two thumbs up to strip Law Watch, strip Law Review this podcast. Do something to support the thing that. 01:02:31 Speaker 3: You care about. Buy some smelling salts. 01:02:34 Speaker 2: And I've got If you do nothing else today, buy smelling salts and become addicted to them. Okay, this is how we play gift Master. I'm going to name three gifts, three things you can give away that I'm going to name three celebrities, and you're going to tell me which gift you would give to which celebrity. And why does that make perfect sense? 01:02:50 Speaker 3: That makes it perfect sense? Why I need to pick a. 01:02:52 Speaker 2: Number Because I had to do random picking to get our game pieces, Okay, because I have a document that looks like it's created by something someone with something wrong with them, and so I have to get into that and do it. Okay, So the gifts you'll be giving away are number one a deep sea fishing excursion that's nice. Number two a three piece luggage set, and number three and early grave. Okay, okay, okay, you'll be giving them to Christian Bale, Yao Ming, and Sabrina the Teenage Witch. 01:03:23 Speaker 3: Okay, perfect. So I have to doom one of these people to death. How are we defining early that's up to you. Okay. So I don't want to kill any of these people. I like all these people. I should probably kill Sabrina because she's fictional, but I'm not going to. I would give the early grave to Yao Ming only because I like Yao Ming. I think he's very personal. I like watching him play basketball. Because of his size, he's doomed to an early grave. Probably. 01:03:52 Speaker 2: Oh, he's very tall, and this will be one thing I have on all of my tall friends. 01:03:56 Speaker 3: I get to so at least this way the greatest. 01:04:00 Speaker 2: Pads right right, and he's I feel like he's probably done. He's lived his most golden years as an excellent basketball player. He's probably a little bored now anyway. 01:04:12 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, I'm sure his life is quality of life is probably not there anymore. He's like a god in China. 01:04:20 Speaker 2: I believe he's but he's gotten to live fifty lives already. 01:04:24 Speaker 3: Yes, so he's probably far burns brightest. He could burns quickest. 01:04:28 Speaker 2: If you ask him, he'd probably say I'm okay dying. 01:04:31 Speaker 3: I'm sure he would. 01:04:32 Speaker 2: I'm paying him as most depressed person. 01:04:35 Speaker 3: For no reason. Everyone, whatever social media you have, reached out to Yao ming and ask him if he's okay, and all your friends reach out to your friends for Sabrina the Tea. No, I'm going to Christian Bale next. Okay, He's getting the deep sea fishing excursion, absolutely, because I think it would be really funny to see him deal with it. I think either he'd really love it and get really into it or would be like cussing up a store kind of short fuse. Yeah, he'd have trouble with all the equipment. He'd have to like have conversations with like fishing men, which would be really fun to experience. 01:05:15 Speaker 2: It's hard to think he's like because he's a former child star, like you think of him as kind of like a tough person or whatever, but I think he's probably pretty soft. 01:05:22 Speaker 3: He's a theater boy. 01:05:23 Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like a little British theater guy. 01:05:26 Speaker 1: Yeah. 01:05:26 Speaker 3: I mean I think about that all the time, about every every actor, and I love actors. If we love him, is someone who decided it was a good idea to try and be world famous, which is. 01:05:36 Speaker 2: Like, I mean, like that's especially the thing with when somebody is leader of a country. You think, oh, so there is something wrong with you. Yes, exactly, your brain is crazy. 01:05:43 Speaker 3: You rolled the dice on. I should be in front of everything. 01:05:46 Speaker 2: Yes, I should control everything. 01:05:48 Speaker 3: So yeah, actors, we love them, right, we love them folks. So yeah, I'm sending him deep sea fishing, I think, because like deep sea fishing guys, I feel like are a very certain subset. Oh yeah, of people. 01:05:57 Speaker 2: Oh absolutely. I'm surprised he hasn't been in a movie a deep sea fisherman yet. 01:06:01 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:06:02 Speaker 2: It feels like a thing where he would have to drastically gain or lose some type of weight. 01:06:06 Speaker 3: He's going up against. Uh what's this fuck from Boston? Uh? 01:06:09 Speaker 2: Oh uh? 01:06:11 Speaker 3: Every single time? 01:06:12 Speaker 2: Who was in the ship the boat the boatman? 01:06:16 Speaker 3: Mark mcculbery, Mark McCom. 01:06:22 Speaker 2: I work in this industry, Mark, Trying to name celebrities is my number one. 01:06:27 Speaker 3: We need more. My brain's going okay. 01:06:30 Speaker 2: So he's going on this gorgeous sea fishing fishing. That would I have to assume, like the North Atlantic. Yes, you know, it's got to be dark, cold, perfect wavy. 01:06:42 Speaker 3: Although he might like that Christian Bale in a tropical environment. It's fun. 01:06:45 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Christian goes tropical. 01:06:47 Speaker 3: Yeah he's marlin fishing. 01:06:50 Speaker 2: Or yeah, no, I think he's in he's maybe he's in the Baltic Sea. I feel like the Baltic Sea an interesting deep. 01:06:57 Speaker 3: Sea for this, and start to some accents, and then so I guess i'd be giving luggage to Sprita the Teenage Witch. I got no reasoning for this. 01:07:08 Speaker 2: She needs at least of all. 01:07:10 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a witch, so you could just transport things. 01:07:13 Speaker 2: No, witch needs luggage. 01:07:16 Speaker 3: That old saying that my doctor said to me, you know, like a witch with luggage. I like the talking cat on that show. 01:07:24 Speaker 2: Yeah, what was his name? His name was to give the yeah Witch's cat. Yeah, because the cat, Yeah, this kind of traumatic name. Yeah, he was the wise talking Did they have that cat in the dramatic reboot of Sabrina the Teenage Witch. 01:07:39 Speaker 3: I would imagine there's like a nod to it. Maybe the cat says. 01:07:42 Speaker 2: Like I don't like a nod address generational trauma or something. 01:07:45 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:07:45 Speaker 2: No, there should be a cat that's kind of got quips and wise cracks. 01:07:50 Speaker 3: I thought that cat I was like as a kid, I was like, that cat is the funniest person on earth. Like, whoever voices that cat should be a household name. Honestly, if you're out there and you voice the cat, hit me up. If we get a season two strip Loaf. 01:08:05 Speaker 2: The cat should be a series raging. 01:08:08 Speaker 3: He should be dropping in on other shows. 01:08:12 Speaker 2: That should join the Legal Office. 01:08:14 Speaker 3: Salem host SNL. There was that big White House dot gov. 01:08:19 Speaker 2: Petition, Well you played the game perfectly, no one can complain, And. 01:08:25 Speaker 3: I asked, do you have an answer to this? 01:08:28 Speaker 2: Dum oh, Let's see how I would feel about this. You know, my initial thought was I don't want to kill anybody. Well I do. There are people, real people I want to kill, but not these three. I don't want to kill Yaoming or Christian Bale. I would have obviously said early Grave, Sabrina and the teenage Witch. But I do like the idea of having to choose between these two real men, and I would probably say an early grave. I would probably give to Christian Bale. Yeah, I and not because I don't like him or I don't think he's a good and I've seen his ribcage. I've seen it all. But I feel like, you know, as an actor, there are diminishing returns. He's probably getting frustrated. He's probably not getting he's pasted. Just for him, it's kind of a Sunset Boulevard situation. He's kind of wandering around a mansion ready to kill a journal I mean, he should probably have an early grave before someone ends up floating in his pool, and then I would give I feel like Yao Ming probably doesn't think. He's probably traveling all the time and probably hasn't like upgraded his luggage in his while, I feel like he's the sort of person who, it doesn't do a lot of fancy stuff. 01:09:40 Speaker 3: Yeah, he kind of probably takes a little bit of pride. 01:09:42 Speaker 2: Yes, I think that he's kind of, you know, a penny pincher, and so he deserves a nice set of luggage. There is a difference because I only buy the bad ones, so I know that if you've got a good one and he's you know, he's NBA Royalty, and then that would give Sabrina this deep sea fishing extraction. 01:10:01 Speaker 3: Which kind of fucks the whole thing. Does she need fixcursions go? 01:10:05 Speaker 2: That chip is going to be loaded with fish. It's going to be raining fish onto it. 01:10:09 Speaker 3: Maybe though it's like kind of like it's about the experience for her, right like you know, we don't we do it because it's hard. 01:10:14 Speaker 2: She wants to feel human exactly kind of a celebrity feel well. We both played it perfectly, we did. Okay, we should answer a listener question people are sending in voice notes or emails to I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Listener. The voice notes should be sixty seconds long or shorter. Shorter is always better, and they should be in a space that doesn't sound like you're out on the freeway or falling down the stairs. Ellis, do we have a question? 01:10:41 Speaker 6: Let's hear it, Dear Bridger Ellison, well mannered guest. I have a friend who said she would do this favor for me over a week ago, but she still hasn't done it. It's not a dire situation or anything, but I would still like it for it to be done. I reminded her twice already, and I'm concerned that a third time might be too many reminders. I don't know, what do you think? What should I do? Thanks in advance? 01:11:02 Speaker 2: Okay, well I'm immediately not on this person's side at all. 01:11:07 Speaker 3: I was going to say, this is why I hate personal relationship. 01:11:10 Speaker 2: Over a week ago, that's nothing. What I usually wait about six months before maybe reminded. 01:11:17 Speaker 3: So I was a little glazed over. Does that mean two reminders have come in within a week? 01:11:22 Speaker 2: Within like I would say probably ten days? Sounds like, is that right, Alice? Yes? Okay, so this person is a nuisance. 01:11:28 Speaker 3: This is let's say type a person. 01:11:31 Speaker 2: No, this person's a problem person. 01:11:33 Speaker 3: I can say, I know how the other side of this is here, right because I am this person? Or the more you ask, the more I'm gonna be avoiding about this fucking thing and just be like, oh, let's just watch this leg rot Like. 01:11:47 Speaker 2: But then, what's the solution for this person? I mean, I think that they started off way too hot. I think they should have waited at least three weeks. 01:11:54 Speaker 3: Yes, absolutely, What is the favorite. 01:11:56 Speaker 2: Is obviously like if my house is on fire, maybe you are a little bit more urgent. 01:12:00 Speaker 3: Like cat sitting or whatever. 01:12:02 Speaker 2: Right, But it's not urgent enough that they were able to send in a voice note to a podcast. 01:12:07 Speaker 3: So yeah, so you're right three weeks at. 01:12:09 Speaker 2: Least, Right, then what's the next step. 01:12:12 Speaker 3: Though I'm doing one reminder and I'm doing a mail text, I'm doing it in a way of like the fake like reach out or whatever. 01:12:23 Speaker 2: Right, this is kind of my method of an unrelated thing. 01:12:27 Speaker 3: To give you the chance before I have to like tide you. 01:12:30 Speaker 2: Maybe they've just forgotten about my existence entirely. So if I can get to that point, maybe they'll remember the thing that a coffee, right. 01:12:37 Speaker 3: And then they're like, oh, hey, by the way, that thing that you asked. 01:12:40 Speaker 2: I'm not ready to do it? 01:12:41 Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, Am I supposed to be giving like unhinted advice or you. 01:12:46 Speaker 2: Can tell you can give any advice you want. And I think that in this situation you have to be careful though. You don't want to say you want to get a coffee, because what if you don't like them and you just want to use them. 01:12:53 Speaker 3: Well that is a huge problem. So if you're just send. 01:12:57 Speaker 2: Yes exactly, they should be there to be used. So if you're if you were to say do you want to get coffee and they say yes, and they don't do the favor. Now you're trapped getting a coffee with someone you just wanted to use. 01:13:06 Speaker 3: That is true, but you never know what other ammunition Quean from the conversation. That's true. I also think this person does want to use them because they do seem more concerned about the favor than the friends. 01:13:19 Speaker 2: Right. 01:13:20 Speaker 3: The question wasn't how do I like navigate this in a way that like saves my friends? 01:13:25 Speaker 2: Right? That doesn't matter. 01:13:26 Speaker 3: How do I get the faith? 01:13:27 Speaker 2: Right? This person is dispensable. I just need one last thing from them. Uh yeah, So there's just gotta be a way to remind them, basically, like try to jog their memory a bit like sending a topless photo or driving by their house honking. 01:13:42 Speaker 3: I like to leave a pumpkin with a knife in it outside of parents house. 01:13:46 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what the parents house. 01:13:47 Speaker 3: Really. 01:13:49 Speaker 2: That's a soft way of doing it. 01:13:54 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:13:54 Speaker 2: I just think that if you ask for a favor, there's a there's probably at least a two week span that the person the bus for that they get to do it in. 01:14:02 Speaker 3: Can I ask you, do you have any outstanding favors like this? 01:14:05 Speaker 2: I owe Yeah, well, I made the mistake recently of telling two different people I read their movie scripts, not just even a thirty page script, movie scripts, and I want to read both of them. 01:14:15 Speaker 3: I don't want to read. And you sit down and you read, like and you're just. 01:14:19 Speaker 2: Like, oh, Usually I won't even download the file. I'll just like open it in preview in my inbox and look at it and just be like, oh no. Then I just and. 01:14:28 Speaker 3: It's never that bad even it's just the act of doing it. 01:14:32 Speaker 2: Yes, I could spend the next four hours just kind of like wasting my life. Instead, I choose that I have at least those two. 01:14:39 Speaker 3: Four scripts are making me realize I said I would read. 01:14:42 Speaker 2: But outside of that, I don't think I'm pretty good at Like, if it doesn't require something with my computer, the favor will probably get done pretty quickly. 01:14:50 Speaker 3: Interesting, But if it's something. 01:14:52 Speaker 2: Where like I can get distracted by some other thing online, it probably will never. 01:14:55 Speaker 3: Also, like a favor that's like an act of service. 01:14:59 Speaker 2: Oh, it feels so much better. 01:15:00 Speaker 3: Than like, can you help me get a job? You put me in contact with this person. This is usually what the favors. 01:15:06 Speaker 2: I'll paint your fence or something exactly, I'll clean then it stops being about you, you annoying loser. So I think the solution here is you failed. Yes, you failed this favor. You've got to find another friend to burn through basically, And actually that's not a bad idea because if that person does it, then you can let the other person know, oh hey, this person did it, and then this person feels like absolute shit and you get to talk shit, yes. 01:15:34 Speaker 3: With that person about the other person, which is their reward for doing the thing. 01:15:39 Speaker 2: Everyone learns a lesson soft power. I love to teach lessons, So that's perfect. Well, we answered the question perfectly. 01:15:46 Speaker 3: I hope that she stopped complaining. He never writes. 01:15:48 Speaker 2: Back in never bothers me again. I now have my smelling salts that have altered my mood and a floy that I did not maybe. 01:15:57 Speaker 3: Even like a larger timeline alteration for you. 01:15:59 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is the new me. This is the beginning of a real downhill slide for Bridger Winder. 01:16:07 Speaker 3: Papers. 01:16:10 Speaker 2: Colin. I've had such a wonderful time with you. 01:16:12 Speaker 3: I've had a wonderful time with you. 01:16:13 Speaker 2: Thank you for being here, and listener, I can't actually say you should try smelling salts. That feels like the beginning of some sort of lawsuit that will devastate me and the network. So don't do smelling salts. Is there anything else I have to say? This is the end of the podcast, and we just talked about sending in voice notes. Elis told me that I should tell people at the end of the podcast to remind you to do things as well, send voice notes, send emails, review the podcast by merch. Apparently people start paying attention at the end of the podcast. 01:16:44 Speaker 3: The most tune in. 01:16:45 Speaker 2: That's what I've been told. It's over, Cony. You gotta get this cad. 01:16:54 Speaker 3: I'm getting his many millennial references like that. 01:16:57 Speaker 2: For every podcast listen to, we give one to somebody else in another nation or something. The podcast is over. I love you, goodbye, I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. Our senior producer is Ellis Nelson, and our episodes are beautifully mixed by Ben Holliday. The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann, and we couldn't do it without our booker, Patrick Cottner. You must follow the show on Instagram at I said No Gifts, That's where you're going to see pictures of all these wonderful gifts I'm getting, And don't you want to see the gifts. 01:17:35 Speaker 3: I invit? Did you hear? 01:17:39 Speaker 1: Funa man myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest to me, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and I'm already had mud stop. So how do you dare to surbey me?