1 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:18,400 Speaker 1: Wow, we are back, Thelma and Louise still slaying in 2 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:22,000 Speaker 1: the dating world. Not I'm still single? Are you still 3 00:00:22,079 --> 00:00:25,439 Speaker 1: had a bunch of shitty dates? Did you? But super 4 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:31,760 Speaker 1: flattered that the audience spoke and responded and had more 5 00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 1: questions for us, and makes me feel good that what 6 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,879 Speaker 1: we're saying makes sense and it struck a chord and 7 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:42,239 Speaker 1: it's relevant and I guess we're approachable and easy to 8 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:44,680 Speaker 1: talk to, so maybe that will bode well for future 9 00:00:44,760 --> 00:00:49,199 Speaker 1: dates for us. What do you think, Thelma, bring it on? Great, Well, 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 1: let's go, let's let's do let's do some more questions. 11 00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: I love this stuff. I mean I love to not 12 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,840 Speaker 1: be in the position of always asking the questions because, 13 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: as you know, I sit on dates now on my 14 00:00:58,200 --> 00:01:02,360 Speaker 1: hands country myself. Stop with the questions because it feels 15 00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:05,440 Speaker 1: like an interrogation. One of my dates called the rapid Fire. 16 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,839 Speaker 1: That was not a compliment. 17 00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 2: I know it's the truth, though I don't even know did. 18 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: He call me the next day? Maybe he didn't. 19 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,199 Speaker 2: I can't remember on that one. 20 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:17,440 Speaker 1: Anyways, I think Easton here has questions for us. And 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 1: by the way, his name alone is so hot. So Easton, 22 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,560 Speaker 1: are you single? Are we too old for you. 23 00:01:23,680 --> 00:01:24,680 Speaker 3: I am a married man. 24 00:01:25,640 --> 00:01:26,640 Speaker 2: We don't do married. 25 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: That's a red flag. When you go on a date 26 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 1: with somebody and you go, why did your marriage break up? 27 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,400 Speaker 1: And they say they cheat? It it's like once a cheat, 28 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: are always a cheater. Like I literally Elvis has left the 29 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:37,039 Speaker 1: building for me on that one. 30 00:01:37,280 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 2: Or I don't mean to interrupt again, but I also 31 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,920 Speaker 2: think one a red flag for me is when somebody 32 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:47,880 Speaker 2: when I'm on a date and someone speaks very disparagingly. 33 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: Well, look at Dingong who I dated, and then look 34 00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: what he did to me when we broke up. When 35 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,880 Speaker 1: people show you who they are, believe them. 36 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 2: Yeah. I think we have really good relationships with our 37 00:01:57,440 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 2: exes and take great pride in that. And I don't 38 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,240 Speaker 2: think that that's everyone's case, and I don't think it 39 00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 2: needs to be, but I still think it says a 40 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:07,480 Speaker 2: lot about a person, especially when they do that right 41 00:02:07,560 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 2: off the bat and they don't even know me. I 42 00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:11,399 Speaker 2: just it just rubs me the wrong way. 43 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,119 Speaker 1: I think they are the mother of their children, and 44 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,839 Speaker 1: I think it's disgusting when they do that. And you're right, 45 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: you and I are deeply proud of our relationships with 46 00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: our excess so much so that he and I had 47 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,240 Speaker 1: dinner last week. The kids are in college, he's engaged. 48 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,360 Speaker 1: I love his fiance, and I said to him, you know, 49 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 1: if this is who you were when we were married, 50 00:02:30,520 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: we'd still be married. And he goes, we would never 51 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: still be married. 52 00:02:34,600 --> 00:02:36,800 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, in the nursing home together. I 53 00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 2: still think you might be in the nursing home together. Yes. 54 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,760 Speaker 1: Anyways, Okay, what do you got for us? What do 55 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: these people want to what do these people want to learn? 56 00:02:43,200 --> 00:02:45,679 Speaker 3: You know, this is a question that just popped into 57 00:02:45,680 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 3: my head as you guys were talking about that. At 58 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,119 Speaker 3: what point? I know it's like a case by case 59 00:02:49,160 --> 00:02:51,799 Speaker 3: basis thing, but like when you're on a date and 60 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,360 Speaker 3: the other person was married before, how soon do you 61 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,840 Speaker 3: get into that conversation of why did your marriage break up? 62 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 3: That seems like an it's a hard thing to do 63 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:02,560 Speaker 3: early on. But you also got to know that. 64 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 1: Definitely not the first date in a real kind of 65 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: pointed way if it organically comes up. But I've always 66 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:13,080 Speaker 1: found like being too heavy on a first date is 67 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:15,680 Speaker 1: not It should be a little more light and fun, right, 68 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:18,720 Speaker 1: It could be more in my opinion for me, you know, 69 00:03:18,840 --> 00:03:21,799 Speaker 1: second or third date. Now, if it's a setup, then 70 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:26,799 Speaker 1: you kind of know a little bit about why relationship ended, 71 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:30,680 Speaker 1: so then you can kind of navigate around it. 72 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 4: I don't know. 73 00:03:31,639 --> 00:03:33,520 Speaker 2: In my experience, it does come up a lot on 74 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: a first date. I feel like it just naturally comes 75 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 2: up because hey, you both ended up at this date, 76 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 2: so you know your history brought you here, so I do. 77 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:45,240 Speaker 2: I don't choose to delve too deep into it, but 78 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 2: I think there always happens to be a few questions 79 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,520 Speaker 2: around it, and then I just try to like know 80 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: when to move on. 81 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: But I also think the way we answer those questions 82 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,920 Speaker 1: on a first date it's going to be very different 83 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 1: than how we answer it, like when you're more involved 84 00:03:58,720 --> 00:04:01,000 Speaker 1: with something, right, Like I kind of a cat answer 85 00:04:01,480 --> 00:04:05,680 Speaker 1: as to why my marriage went south, which is, you know, 86 00:04:05,760 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: not inflammatory, it's you know, I'm never you know, negative 87 00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 1: about my ex husband or anything. So I just give enough, 88 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: but not like enough of the depth that maybe I 89 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,000 Speaker 1: would share later on if I was really involved with 90 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:22,080 Speaker 1: somebody and I, you know, trusted them, agree. 91 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,679 Speaker 3: And now we're gonna we're gonna take things to the map. 92 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:29,240 Speaker 3: Here is the dating seemed really bad in Los Angeles. 93 00:04:29,279 --> 00:04:31,480 Speaker 3: You always hear about that, but is it actually that bad. 94 00:04:32,120 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: I think it's it's hard. I mean, look, I grew 95 00:04:34,279 --> 00:04:36,560 Speaker 1: up in Los Angeles, so this is a lot of 96 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:38,640 Speaker 1: the reason why, you know, dating apps have made me 97 00:04:38,720 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: uncomfortable is because the few times I've played around them, 98 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,799 Speaker 1: I've seen nine thousand people I know, so I feel 99 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: super exposed. I prefer setups. Like if I was to 100 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,559 Speaker 1: go to northern California, where Belmow was from, I would 101 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:53,640 Speaker 1: be on every dating app because I don't know anybody. 102 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 1: I think it's hard, like I think that there's well 103 00:04:58,200 --> 00:04:59,880 Speaker 1: let's talk about this. I mean, we're in our f 104 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 1: fifties and it's very rare that a fifty year old 105 00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:06,240 Speaker 1: guy wants to date a fifty year old girl. In fact, 106 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: my children came home last summer and they sat me 107 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 1: down and they said, Mom, we're very concerned about what. 108 00:05:13,200 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 1: They go, Well, we're concerned about your options. What do 109 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: you mean. They go, well, it's the you know, eighty 110 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:21,760 Speaker 1: year old guy or the twenty five year old guy 111 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 1: you need to support. And I was like, wow, that 112 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: does sound dismal. Do you have a preference And they said, yeah, 113 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:28,560 Speaker 1: the eighty year old guy, and I was like, oh, 114 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:30,640 Speaker 1: but I think it's true, Like, I think there are 115 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:33,240 Speaker 1: way more. I mean, I would say, out of you know, 116 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:35,160 Speaker 1: my ten best friends, eight and a half of them 117 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:38,039 Speaker 1: are single, and I think they're all amazing, Right, there 118 00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:43,719 Speaker 1: are fewer good men, and there are you know, fewer 119 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 1: men out there that want a date age appropriate women. 120 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:49,159 Speaker 1: I mean, I have a guy best friend who's you know, 121 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: mid fifties, who's a fabulous guy. He's my guy best friend. 122 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:55,800 Speaker 1: His dating app age range is twenty five to thirty eight. 123 00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 1: He is fifty five with two kids, so he wouldn't 124 00:05:58,960 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: even we wouldn't even come up on his swiping. And 125 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: I think that's more normal. Oh, it's one eleven. Make 126 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:07,719 Speaker 1: a wish. It's my good luck number that my soulmate 127 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: is coming. Okay, got it. I know I do this 128 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:13,279 Speaker 1: all the time. Anyways, I find LA dating hard. 129 00:06:14,080 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 2: What do you think, Thelma, I don't know if it's 130 00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:21,599 Speaker 2: La per se. I feel like my mindset is very different. 131 00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 2: When I am at home. I feel like I'm in 132 00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 2: kids mode or work mode, and I'm just going through 133 00:06:29,120 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 2: the motions. I'm going to the same grocery store, I'm 134 00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 2: doing the same things I'm running around in my workout clothes, 135 00:06:34,800 --> 00:06:38,320 Speaker 2: and I feel like part of it is just getting 136 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:40,280 Speaker 2: out of my comfort zone. And I am more apt 137 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 2: to do that when I'm outside of my hometown. And 138 00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:45,080 Speaker 2: I find that it's easier for me to date when 139 00:06:45,120 --> 00:06:49,799 Speaker 2: I am traveling or going on vacation because I'm just giving. 140 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,159 Speaker 2: I'm on receive and I look like I'm open to 141 00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,000 Speaker 2: meeting people more. 142 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,720 Speaker 1: Well, you still have a kid at home, I mean 143 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:58,479 Speaker 1: too in college and one at home, so your life 144 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,920 Speaker 1: is very different than mine, right, Like, I don't have 145 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,920 Speaker 1: children at home, so I could go on a date 146 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 1: seven days a week. I could. I guess. I could relocate, 147 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: I guess, But I don't know. I just think it's hard. 148 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 1: I think it's hard in LA to meet people. And 149 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: I think somebody who lives in Chicago or somebody who 150 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:21,200 Speaker 1: lives here wherever, you know, I think anyone's going to 151 00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 1: say that there's just a lack of options. And I 152 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:28,000 Speaker 1: think that there's so many amazing single women out here, 153 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,760 Speaker 1: and I think they're all beautiful, and I think they're 154 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 1: all talented, and I think they're all really interesting. So 155 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: I think that's also what the sweite mentality has done. 156 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,000 Speaker 1: Is it's kind of like thirty one flavors, right, I 157 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:40,920 Speaker 1: mean it's like, oh she was great, we had fun, 158 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,560 Speaker 1: but I could keep swiping. There could be somebody else 159 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,800 Speaker 1: better out there, and you never just kind of feel 160 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: satisfied or content with what's in front of you. And 161 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 1: I think that's I think that it's just too many 162 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:54,680 Speaker 1: options out there, good for men. 163 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 3: On the last episode, you guys did uh Thelma, you 164 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,920 Speaker 3: said that sometimes a plane ride is easier than an 165 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 3: hour hour and a half drive. And now I'm curious, like, 166 00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:17,120 Speaker 3: if you were to meet someone that was long distance, 167 00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,840 Speaker 3: how does that work? Like are you does there have 168 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:22,120 Speaker 3: to be an end point in site? Is there a distance? 169 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,600 Speaker 3: Like would you do across country thing? What do you 170 00:08:24,600 --> 00:08:25,840 Speaker 3: think about dating long distance? 171 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:29,000 Speaker 2: Like I'm obsessed with it? Well, you did it, you 172 00:08:29,080 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 2: did it four years years and I love it. I 173 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 2: think I'm I like to compartmentalize my life apparently, but 174 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 2: I think for me, what I love about it is 175 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,199 Speaker 2: unlike when I say a plane ride, I think it's 176 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:46,120 Speaker 2: nice because it's it's a total separation. Like when I 177 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: get on that plane to go see my significant other, 178 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm all in, I'm present, I'm engaged. 179 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,560 Speaker 2: It's almost I mean not literally but engaged. I feel 180 00:08:56,600 --> 00:09:00,280 Speaker 2: like it's almost like this honeymoon and I have great 181 00:09:00,320 --> 00:09:03,800 Speaker 2: time and it's amazing, but then it's great because I 182 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:06,400 Speaker 2: get to leave or he leaves, and then I get 183 00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,040 Speaker 2: to go back to my week and I have my 184 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:12,400 Speaker 2: friends and my family and work and everything. So I 185 00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 2: kind of get the best of both worlds. Now, it's 186 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:18,199 Speaker 2: not necessarily balanced in like the traditional sense, but it is. 187 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:20,160 Speaker 2: It's like I get to have my fun, I get 188 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:23,400 Speaker 2: to have that romantic hit, but I also get to 189 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 2: kind of keep my life intact, which I think is 190 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:31,040 Speaker 2: you become older and are you know, fifty plus. I 191 00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:33,679 Speaker 2: think we alluded to this our last episode, But it's 192 00:09:33,720 --> 00:09:36,000 Speaker 2: a little harder to juggle. You have a lot going 193 00:09:36,040 --> 00:09:38,600 Speaker 2: on and a lot of times, I feel like when 194 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:43,439 Speaker 2: you are all in on a relationship, sometimes men are 195 00:09:43,600 --> 00:09:46,480 Speaker 2: needy and they kind of need a lot of your 196 00:09:46,520 --> 00:09:50,079 Speaker 2: attention and time, and I feel like sometimes distance it's 197 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:51,040 Speaker 2: easier to manage it. 198 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:57,319 Speaker 1: Do you see yourself ever finding yourself in a situation 199 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:02,160 Speaker 1: where you are twenty four to seven, you know, remarried, 200 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,400 Speaker 1: seven nights a week, sharing a bed with somebody like 201 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 1: living that life that we all did when we first 202 00:10:08,080 --> 00:10:10,800 Speaker 1: got married. Or do you think when we fall in 203 00:10:10,800 --> 00:10:14,960 Speaker 1: love and have relationships in our fifties that it's just 204 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:18,680 Speaker 1: part of our life, it's not all encompassing. Or do 205 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:20,760 Speaker 1: you think it's a function that you and I say 206 00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 1: that because we just haven't met the person that has 207 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: swept us off our feet that would make us want 208 00:10:25,920 --> 00:10:28,320 Speaker 1: to make some significant changes in our lives. 209 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, how many times have we had this conversation. 210 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:34,000 Speaker 2: I mean, the thought of sharing a bed, a closet, 211 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:36,319 Speaker 2: a bathroom with somebody twenty four to seven sounds my 212 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:41,439 Speaker 2: living nightmare, like so, and the longer I stay single, 213 00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 2: I appreciate it so much. I mean I even go 214 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 2: to dinner with my married friends and I think some 215 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:48,680 Speaker 2: of my girlfriends are like, oh my god, I'm so 216 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:51,319 Speaker 2: jealous of you. Well, the grass is not greener, right, 217 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:53,760 Speaker 2: And so I think that's one thing to always remember. 218 00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:59,080 Speaker 2: But I think that for me, I'm not saying that 219 00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 2: I couldn't meet the right person. I think with my 220 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 2: first relationship, I was able to be twenty four to 221 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,360 Speaker 2: seven with somebody because they very much had their own life. 222 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 2: So I know, for me, if I met somebody who 223 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 2: had his own interests and own priorities in life, and 224 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:19,160 Speaker 2: we could come together but also have our independence. I 225 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 2: will never say never that I couldn't be with somebody 226 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 2: under the same roof. But I also feel like I 227 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 2: wouldn't be surprised if my next chapter looks far less 228 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,200 Speaker 2: traditional than my first. 229 00:11:30,920 --> 00:11:34,920 Speaker 1: Great answer, thank you, I try. You're a smart cookie, Thoma, 230 00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 1: glad you're guiding me. 231 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 2: I mean, who needs a boyfriend when your friends compliment you? 232 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:39,560 Speaker 4: Right? 233 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: I mean, by the way, you're a hard act to follow. 234 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,960 Speaker 2: Let me tell you, I don't put out, but I 235 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: do a lot of other things for you. 236 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 3: You guys are so fun. What's one thing that people 237 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,079 Speaker 3: don't talk about when dating posts divorce that you wish 238 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 3: every divorced person knew when entering the dating world. 239 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,280 Speaker 1: I think that when you first get divorced, I mean 240 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 1: I can speak from myself, like I think I thought 241 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:06,160 Speaker 1: like I would just find my next person really easily, 242 00:12:06,280 --> 00:12:10,520 Speaker 1: and I would just slide right back into almost like 243 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:16,080 Speaker 1: a traditional relationship. I don't think I anticipated how hard 244 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:23,439 Speaker 1: it would be to find another really great situation. So 245 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:27,720 Speaker 1: I think that was the hardest thing for me, that 246 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:31,280 Speaker 1: it hasn't happened the way I thought it was going 247 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:35,800 Speaker 1: to happen. And you know, I'm comfortable being by myself. 248 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:38,000 Speaker 1: I've gotten really good at being by myself and I 249 00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,880 Speaker 1: have a really full life. But I do want to 250 00:12:40,920 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 1: find a partner. And I didn't think nine years later 251 00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: I would be looking in the rear view mirror at 252 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: multiple great relationships but not one significant relationship. 253 00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:56,160 Speaker 2: Yeah. 254 00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:58,680 Speaker 1: I didn't anticipate that I would still be here nine 255 00:12:58,720 --> 00:13:02,600 Speaker 1: years later, and it makes me scared. Sometimes Sometimes I 256 00:13:02,640 --> 00:13:05,160 Speaker 1: call down Lap in the morning, Oh, I love to FaceTime. 257 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,200 Speaker 1: She hates hated in the morning, and I say to her, 258 00:13:08,679 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: is this the best it's going to be? 259 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:14,840 Speaker 2: And I think for both of us, I don't want 260 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:17,400 Speaker 2: to speak for you, but I think right now I 261 00:13:17,480 --> 00:13:20,960 Speaker 2: am totally happy. My life is full. I do sometimes 262 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:24,920 Speaker 2: get concerned that, like when my last child really really 263 00:13:25,040 --> 00:13:27,679 Speaker 2: leaves and ten years from now, am I going to 264 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,640 Speaker 2: be rattling around in my house and sad? 265 00:13:29,720 --> 00:13:30,920 Speaker 1: Well that I am. 266 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,560 Speaker 2: I'm not there yet, But I think for me, the 267 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 2: back to your post divorce question, I think I didn't 268 00:13:37,440 --> 00:13:42,200 Speaker 2: realize how many, how much more complicated it was, and 269 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 2: how many more variables there were it's really not solely 270 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,199 Speaker 2: about me anymore. Right, it's I have children, they potentially 271 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 2: have children. Are we in the same place socioeconomically, Like 272 00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 2: do we have different aspirations? 273 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:58,120 Speaker 1: Are they? 274 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:01,480 Speaker 2: Are they slowing down because they're ten years older, and 275 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,959 Speaker 2: you know, we just operate at different frequencies and levels. 276 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,800 Speaker 2: Like I don't know. The first time I fell in love, 277 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,360 Speaker 2: I was twenty two years old, I was married for 278 00:14:10,440 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 2: seventeen years, and it just seemed really simple. We were 279 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 2: in the same place, kind of growing up together. And 280 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 2: I think now everybody has so much history that I mean, 281 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:23,200 Speaker 2: in many ways, it's really interesting because you get to 282 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,040 Speaker 2: meet very interesting people, but it's also, I don't know, 283 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 2: it's a lot more fumple. 284 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:30,080 Speaker 1: I think we have to look at it like an opportunity, right, 285 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 1: It's about flipping our lens. And I think what I 286 00:14:33,320 --> 00:14:35,920 Speaker 1: started to do is wake up every day and say, 287 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,040 Speaker 1: I get to not I have to write. And I 288 00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 1: think it's awesome to meet a lot of people. And 289 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: you know, I think so much about getting excited, you know, 290 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:47,440 Speaker 1: about going on a date is less about being the 291 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,680 Speaker 1: right person, but the anticipation. I mean, you and I 292 00:14:49,680 --> 00:14:51,480 Speaker 1: have so much fun, like we'll be at Plate's and 293 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 1: you know, and I know you're going to probably just 294 00:14:53,240 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 1: have a little salad for the day so your stomach 295 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,520 Speaker 1: is flattered. And then we talk about the outfit, and 296 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 1: then we FaceTime the outfit and it's like it's like 297 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 1: a whole thing, and the data is actually less important. 298 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,360 Speaker 1: It's the prep that's fun. One thing I wanted to 299 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,040 Speaker 1: just bring up because somebody said this to me the 300 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,520 Speaker 1: other day, to your point when you talk about like 301 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: how am I going to feel in ten years when 302 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,680 Speaker 1: I'm an empty nester, And I was telling somebody I'm 303 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,960 Speaker 1: the empty nester, it's interesting, and she because, don't call 304 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:17,440 Speaker 1: yourself an empty nester. Look at it like it's an 305 00:15:17,480 --> 00:15:21,280 Speaker 1: open door, right, like you are walking into a sliding door. 306 00:15:21,400 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: I love that Gwyneth Paltrow movie. Right, this is an 307 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:28,000 Speaker 1: open door where every day I wake up something new 308 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 1: and exciting can happen, Like what surprise is in store 309 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: for me today? So every day I'm looking for the 310 00:15:32,680 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 1: magic in whether it's a date or if it's a 311 00:15:35,360 --> 00:15:38,160 Speaker 1: swiping thing, or it's you and I, you know, laughing 312 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,120 Speaker 1: about something, or getting our weighted vest. Because we now 313 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,800 Speaker 1: have osteoporosis like I every day am looking for the 314 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:48,080 Speaker 1: magic in my day where it's not focused on just 315 00:15:48,120 --> 00:15:51,200 Speaker 1: finding a partner, And there are so many amazing things 316 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 1: that we all have going on. And I think at 317 00:15:54,400 --> 00:15:57,480 Speaker 1: the end of the day, friendships obviously, our relationships are 318 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:01,520 Speaker 1: family in our case, like friendships are the glue, Like 319 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 1: you are on my gratitude list every day. So I 320 00:16:05,160 --> 00:16:07,120 Speaker 1: don't know, like we have open doors. 321 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:10,160 Speaker 2: And we can't control what is isn't going to happen 322 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:13,480 Speaker 2: in terms of a relationship, but we can really control 323 00:16:14,160 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 2: our mindset and our outlook. 324 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 1: And I know our attitude. 325 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 2: We're just cheesy, but it's so true. 326 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 1: I'm a little woo woo. You know, me and my crystals. 327 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:23,640 Speaker 2: Who doesn't love a crystal in la? 328 00:16:23,840 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 3: Do you do you charge them up in the moonlight? 329 00:16:26,120 --> 00:16:30,440 Speaker 2: Is that I do it during the day? Actually really yeah? 330 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,320 Speaker 2: Is it supposed to be at night? Because maybe that's 331 00:16:32,360 --> 00:16:32,880 Speaker 2: my problem. 332 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:34,400 Speaker 1: I think you have to do it for what works 333 00:16:34,600 --> 00:16:36,240 Speaker 1: for you. What I've learned is I used to try 334 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: to follow the rules on it. I thought, you know, 335 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,200 Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I'm going to operate spiritually in a 336 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,280 Speaker 1: way that speaks to me, right, whether it's like the 337 00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,400 Speaker 1: one crystal here or not washing them or like I 338 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:50,480 Speaker 1: try to like be comfortable with the way that I'm 339 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:53,320 Speaker 1: doing it because it's pressure all the other rules on 340 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:54,240 Speaker 1: how to do all of it. 341 00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 2: I meditate laying down. It's way more comfortable. 342 00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,360 Speaker 3: So there's so much importance on a first eight. What 343 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:05,240 Speaker 3: do you think is to each of you, what's which 344 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,040 Speaker 3: first date activity is the best way to determine if 345 00:17:08,040 --> 00:17:10,200 Speaker 3: there's like a spark is it? Is it a walk, 346 00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,679 Speaker 3: a coffee, a dinner, miniature golf. Is there something that 347 00:17:14,320 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 3: stands out above the others? 348 00:17:16,240 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: Glass of wine? 349 00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:17,199 Speaker 2: For me? 350 00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 1: I know, at meat at a restaurant that has like 351 00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:25,440 Speaker 1: at like five or six that has like a bar, 352 00:17:25,920 --> 00:17:28,879 Speaker 1: a bar slash restaurant. I like to go, And I 353 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:31,160 Speaker 1: actually like to sit next to somebody at the bar 354 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:33,879 Speaker 1: if I'm on a date with them, just to feel 355 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:36,320 Speaker 1: if there's kind of any energy. And it's interesting, like 356 00:17:36,560 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 1: you can kind of tell if you feel yourself gravitating 357 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: and turning towards somebody or if you're kind of sitting back. 358 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:47,359 Speaker 1: And I don't know, body languages super important, but I'm 359 00:17:47,440 --> 00:17:49,760 Speaker 1: definitely not one who likes to go on a walk 360 00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: or miniature golf or do I like to talk to 361 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:57,159 Speaker 1: somebody and just see if there's an organic conversation that 362 00:17:57,240 --> 00:17:58,000 Speaker 1: starts to flow. 363 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, not to sound like I'm not interesting, but I 364 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,520 Speaker 2: kind of am the same the same for me. I 365 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,920 Speaker 2: also think being kind of in an environment where there's 366 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 2: people around you and background noise and all of that, 367 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,840 Speaker 2: like it just takes a little of the pressure off, 368 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:14,679 Speaker 2: you know. It's like, I don't know about you, like 369 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:16,159 Speaker 2: when I went on my honeymoon, or you go to 370 00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:18,320 Speaker 2: these quiet resorts where it's like you can hear a 371 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 2: pin drop, and even if you're with like the you know, 372 00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:23,359 Speaker 2: the love of your life, it's just so awkward, Like 373 00:18:23,400 --> 00:18:25,280 Speaker 2: you find yourself talking about the weather because you feel 374 00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,280 Speaker 2: like the three other people are listening to what you're saying. 375 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,840 Speaker 2: And we all know, we've all been in restaurants where 376 00:18:29,880 --> 00:18:31,720 Speaker 2: you look at somebody on a first date and you're 377 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,720 Speaker 2: just like, oh my god, I feel for them and 378 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 2: like they're barely able to, you know, care on the 379 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:39,199 Speaker 2: conversation or whatever. And I just feel like being in 380 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:41,760 Speaker 2: a bar environment or something where there's just more going on, 381 00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 2: it just seems a little like it diffuses the fact 382 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:46,080 Speaker 2: that you don't I. 383 00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,840 Speaker 1: Think people like people up right, Like I just think 384 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,800 Speaker 1: it creates like a buzz and an energy. And but 385 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: by the way, to your point, like I recently was 386 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,119 Speaker 1: aut of dinner and I saw two people on what 387 00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,320 Speaker 1: clearly looked like at first date, and I was with 388 00:18:59,359 --> 00:19:01,680 Speaker 1: my twenty two old son, and it was like, watch, 389 00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:03,879 Speaker 1: you can't try And I was so uncomfortable them. So 390 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:05,879 Speaker 1: I found a way to try to start chatting with 391 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,200 Speaker 1: them with the conversation because you know me, I don't 392 00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: shut up, and so we were chatting all of us together, 393 00:19:10,920 --> 00:19:11,720 Speaker 1: and then it didn't. 394 00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:13,040 Speaker 2: Be kind of like you then I feel like he 395 00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 2: kind of well, that was bad. 396 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:16,480 Speaker 1: Then he asked when I got up, he kind of 397 00:19:16,520 --> 00:19:18,719 Speaker 1: asked for my own phone number in a work thing, 398 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,040 Speaker 1: And I thought to myself, I hope she's paying attention 399 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,400 Speaker 1: to the kind of guy that he is, because that's not. 400 00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:25,159 Speaker 2: Like I'm a girl's girl. 401 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,719 Speaker 1: Oh, such a girl's girl. Such a girl's girl. I 402 00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,160 Speaker 1: love setting up my friends with somebody i've gone out 403 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,199 Speaker 1: with that maybe doesn't feel right to me. And you know, 404 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:37,919 Speaker 1: I'm doing that for my sister right now, and I 405 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:39,800 Speaker 1: don't know. I would hope somebody would do that for 406 00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:42,800 Speaker 1: me too. Recycle. We have to recycle men. 407 00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 2: We think that that's a business idea. How are we 408 00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:46,800 Speaker 2: going to properly recycle men? 409 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 1: Matchmaking is hard. I tried to be a matchmaker for 410 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:49,680 Speaker 1: a minute. 411 00:19:49,680 --> 00:20:00,199 Speaker 4: It was not easy. 412 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,960 Speaker 3: Here's a scenario for you. You're you're casually you see 413 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,000 Speaker 3: someone that you're casually dating, You see them out in 414 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:08,560 Speaker 3: public and they're clearly on a date with somebody else. 415 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 3: Do you bring that up to them? Do you pretend 416 00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:13,160 Speaker 3: like you never saw them? What's your reaction there? 417 00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:16,280 Speaker 2: I don't think that that bothers me unless I feel 418 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:19,360 Speaker 2: like we're exclusive, you know, and I think that at 419 00:20:19,359 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 2: the time that I mean, the way you present that scenario, 420 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:26,040 Speaker 2: I'm taking it like, hey, we've gone out on one 421 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,000 Speaker 2: or two dates, which I think until you have that conversation, 422 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:30,480 Speaker 2: that's okay. 423 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,520 Speaker 1: Do you think you have to have a conversation to 424 00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:35,320 Speaker 1: be exclusive or do you feel like it organically happens? 425 00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:38,399 Speaker 2: Well, I think either romantically things start happening and then 426 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,440 Speaker 2: at that point I'm having a conversation or I mean, 427 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 2: reading the situation where you're starting to want to be 428 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,120 Speaker 2: with each other all the time, you kind of understand 429 00:20:47,119 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 2: that that's where you are but if I've just come 430 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:50,679 Speaker 2: out on a couple days. I mean, I did have 431 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:54,919 Speaker 2: a situation where I had just broken up with a 432 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:59,240 Speaker 2: guy literally like the night before, and I remember feeling 433 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:01,760 Speaker 2: bad that I had ended it because he was a 434 00:21:01,840 --> 00:21:05,159 Speaker 2: nice guy. And then the next day I picked up 435 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:06,840 Speaker 2: a friend from the airport and was coming back from 436 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:10,760 Speaker 2: LAX and went to where what's the old AOC whatever 437 00:21:10,800 --> 00:21:13,359 Speaker 2: tavern or something, and I walk and they have communal 438 00:21:13,440 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 2: bathrooms and he is literally at the bar in the 439 00:21:18,119 --> 00:21:21,080 Speaker 2: same first date outfit, I guess, same first date outfit. 440 00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:23,879 Speaker 2: Then he wore with me, same spot. And then the 441 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,160 Speaker 2: worst was I was in the bathroom and he came 442 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,880 Speaker 2: into the communal bathrooms. Obviously he didn't know I was there, 443 00:21:29,040 --> 00:21:30,880 Speaker 2: and it was really awkward. 444 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,560 Speaker 1: Wait, I don't know the story. Would you say this 445 00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,680 Speaker 1: is your worst dating story. We didn't even talk about, 446 00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 1: like what's your worst dating story? Something. 447 00:21:37,280 --> 00:21:39,000 Speaker 2: I had broken up with him, so it's not like 448 00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 2: he broke up with me and the next worse than heartbreak. 449 00:21:41,600 --> 00:21:43,280 Speaker 2: But I mean, who knows, Maybe he had it set up. 450 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:45,040 Speaker 2: I don't know, But the point was I broke up 451 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:47,080 Speaker 2: with them, and then I mean it was so awkward 452 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:48,639 Speaker 2: and then he was like, hey, how are you? And 453 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,320 Speaker 2: then he and then he texted me the next day 454 00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,040 Speaker 2: and was like, oh, I hope that was not I 455 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,280 Speaker 2: was just like, just move on. 456 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,240 Speaker 1: What is your worst dating story? 457 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,600 Speaker 2: I don't know what. I don't feel like I've had 458 00:21:57,640 --> 00:22:01,080 Speaker 2: any horrific I mean, do you have one? 459 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,800 Speaker 1: I had a weird I had a really weird one. 460 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,439 Speaker 1: I mean I haven't ever gone had a scary, like 461 00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:08,960 Speaker 1: dangerous one, but I had an interesting thing happened. So 462 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,879 Speaker 1: it was a brief. So during the pandemic, because it 463 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:14,320 Speaker 1: was harder, I was like, you know what, my friends 464 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,240 Speaker 1: and I were like, let's just do these apps for fun, 465 00:22:16,359 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 1: Like we made it like fun, right. So I talked 466 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:20,720 Speaker 1: a couple of times to this guy and he lived 467 00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:22,120 Speaker 1: on the East Coast. He's like, I want to fly 468 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:23,879 Speaker 1: out and meet you. And that was stressful for me 469 00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:25,640 Speaker 1: because then you're like, oh, he's flying all the way 470 00:22:25,640 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 1: out to meet me, Like it's not just a drink, 471 00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:29,200 Speaker 1: like at least have to sit with dinner and then 472 00:22:29,720 --> 00:22:31,080 Speaker 1: and he's like, and I'd love to know that we're 473 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,560 Speaker 1: going to have lunch the next day and we're going 474 00:22:32,640 --> 00:22:34,040 Speaker 1: to do this. I go, let's just start with the 475 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:38,040 Speaker 1: first date. So we meet for a first day and 476 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,119 Speaker 1: you know, and he's staying at a hotel and so 477 00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 1: we meet at the bar and weet it just have 478 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,760 Speaker 1: dinner there or whatever, and you know, I was like, 479 00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:46,960 Speaker 1: in my head, I was like, I'm definitely gon have 480 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,879 Speaker 1: lunch with him tomorrow. It's like the right thing to do. 481 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: But I wasn't like I was not into it. But 482 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,439 Speaker 1: he was nice, and you know, he was you know, 483 00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,199 Speaker 1: he had a good core value system and we were 484 00:22:55,280 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 1: aligned down a lot of things. So I was like, okay, 485 00:22:57,480 --> 00:23:01,000 Speaker 1: you know whatever. So the next day we're at the lunch. 486 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:04,480 Speaker 1: So now this is now probably you know, ninety minutes 487 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,840 Speaker 1: total of learning meeting him and talking to him, and 488 00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:16,119 Speaker 1: he says, oh, I just was diagnosed with can't They 489 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,600 Speaker 1: just found a tumor and they have to buy upstate 490 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 1: and they think it's lung cancer, which was like talked 491 00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:23,320 Speaker 1: about it's like a heavy a heavy first date, right, 492 00:23:23,920 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 1: And I was like, WHOA, okay, fine, And it just 493 00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:32,639 Speaker 1: felt I actually didn't know if it was true or 494 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:34,840 Speaker 1: not true, Like it was just it was really strange. 495 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,159 Speaker 1: He's liked, can we go in to dinner tonight? And 496 00:23:36,200 --> 00:23:37,800 Speaker 1: I said, oh, I have plants whatever, Okay, cut you. 497 00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,280 Speaker 1: So he goes back to the East Coast and he's 498 00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:45,639 Speaker 1: texting me, and then he texted me He's like, great news, 499 00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:51,119 Speaker 1: false alarm. I'm totally fine. Check your email. And he 500 00:23:51,200 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: had sent me airline tickets for Saint Bart's to go 501 00:23:54,520 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 1: on a trip with him for ten days. And I 502 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,920 Speaker 1: was like, I barely knew this guy, and you're so weird. 503 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 2: I mean, you're such a private person, like and it 504 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:05,399 Speaker 2: made me so uncomfortable and I was like, oh gosh, no, no, no, no, no, no, 505 00:24:05,640 --> 00:24:08,159 Speaker 2: like I don't know you, like I didn't even know 506 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,440 Speaker 2: if it's going to about a second, and I'm hardly 507 00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 2: going to stay in a hotel. 508 00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,919 Speaker 1: And I felt really uncomfortable, and I felt like it 509 00:24:12,960 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: was super forward and slightly aggressive, and so I was like, okay, fine, 510 00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,359 Speaker 1: that's fine, but can I come to LA again? And 511 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,639 Speaker 1: I thought I just didn't. There was something about it 512 00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:25,720 Speaker 1: that seemed a little too fast to It didn't feel authentic. 513 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,800 Speaker 1: It felt weird. It was rushing, you know, and that 514 00:24:28,880 --> 00:24:30,199 Speaker 1: was it. I mean, I'm sure I would have liked 515 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,960 Speaker 1: to have gone to Saint Barts, but with somebody that, 516 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:37,720 Speaker 1: you know, I really am would have been into me. Yeah, totally. 517 00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 1: Dating is hard. 518 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:43,000 Speaker 3: Dating is so hard. It's so hard. Here's this might 519 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 3: be a this is a deeper question, Uh do you 520 00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,480 Speaker 3: have do you believe you have to be fully healed 521 00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,840 Speaker 3: from your previous lover in order to love someone new 522 00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:53,040 Speaker 3: to have that capacity again? 523 00:24:53,920 --> 00:24:56,840 Speaker 1: I mean, look, we've all had our hearts broken where 524 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,159 Speaker 1: you just want to, like right away go out with 525 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,360 Speaker 1: somebody else. And for me and my personal experience when 526 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:06,760 Speaker 1: I have been heartbroken or really really really hurt, I 527 00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,159 Speaker 1: am not able to switch gears that quickly, like I 528 00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,320 Speaker 1: have to be totally healed to be open to meet 529 00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,400 Speaker 1: somebody else. Like it's I've tried it. It's just too 530 00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 1: hard for me. I feel breakups very intensely, and I 531 00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:25,360 Speaker 1: think it's really important to you know, to almost kind 532 00:25:25,359 --> 00:25:28,320 Speaker 1: of shut that door and then move on to the next. 533 00:25:28,480 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: So for me, I'm not one who can overlap to 534 00:25:31,720 --> 00:25:32,359 Speaker 1: try to move on. 535 00:25:32,720 --> 00:25:34,520 Speaker 2: And I don't know if you're asking more from like 536 00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:38,520 Speaker 2: a time perspective or is it the first person after 537 00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:43,320 Speaker 2: a breakup, because I think it could be the first person, 538 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 2: but maybe you know you can't expedite the time on 539 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,480 Speaker 2: feeling and healing. 540 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,399 Speaker 3: Do you think, is it like a set you know 541 00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:54,760 Speaker 3: they said on I think it was on Friends, one 542 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,760 Speaker 3: of those sitcoms. They said, like, you take the time 543 00:25:56,800 --> 00:25:58,679 Speaker 3: of the relationship and what cut in half, and that's 544 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,879 Speaker 3: the time it takes to get over it. Do you 545 00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,760 Speaker 3: believe that? Is it a time thing or I think 546 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:04,160 Speaker 3: it has. 547 00:26:04,080 --> 00:26:06,080 Speaker 1: To do with the intensity of it. And like I 548 00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: dated a guy for two and a half months and 549 00:26:07,840 --> 00:26:09,360 Speaker 1: he dubbed me, and I swear to god, I think 550 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 1: it took me a year to get over him. And 551 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,240 Speaker 1: my friends are like, what is wrong with you? 552 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:14,120 Speaker 2: He was not even a great guy. 553 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: I mean, she's none of that. But I know and 554 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:20,920 Speaker 1: I think that that falls under the category of, you know, 555 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,199 Speaker 1: something in his childhood wounds, emotional baggage in mind. It 556 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 1: was like this like imprinting right, and it was it 557 00:26:29,640 --> 00:26:32,719 Speaker 1: just I don't know, I could not recover from that. 558 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,480 Speaker 1: And then there have been people I've dated for a 559 00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,960 Speaker 1: year and a year and a half and it's like 560 00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:40,040 Speaker 1: I don't even look back, like it just didn't trigger 561 00:26:40,119 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: me in that way. So I don't think it's so 562 00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:45,240 Speaker 1: much time for healing. I think it's like, what was 563 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:50,679 Speaker 1: it that struck such a chord? With you that you 564 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 1: have to get over it. It's more about like what 565 00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:54,639 Speaker 1: work do I need to do within myself, you know? 566 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,200 Speaker 1: And I feel like every relationship I've had, I'm making 567 00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,840 Speaker 1: healthier choices and I'm learning like I like this from 568 00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 1: this person, this from this person to help build the 569 00:27:04,440 --> 00:27:07,360 Speaker 1: toolbox of what's going to be you know, the perfect, 570 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:10,480 Speaker 1: the perfect thing for me. But I don't think it's time. 571 00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,399 Speaker 1: I think it has to do with something with your wound, 572 00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,800 Speaker 1: your emotional baggage. 573 00:27:15,200 --> 00:27:18,120 Speaker 2: For me, I agree, And I think also on making 574 00:27:18,160 --> 00:27:23,320 Speaker 2: healthier choices, I feel like I'm getting much better at 575 00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 2: course correcting or communicating earlier so that something doesn't either 576 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,240 Speaker 2: become a bigger problem as I continue on in a 577 00:27:31,280 --> 00:27:34,840 Speaker 2: relationship and has a chance to potentially, you know what 578 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 2: I mean, kind of rectify itself because I'm doing a 579 00:27:37,520 --> 00:27:42,120 Speaker 2: better job of communicating. And I think dialogue is so important. 580 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,760 Speaker 2: That's a total tangent. 581 00:27:43,520 --> 00:27:47,840 Speaker 1: And communication is really important and vulnerability. That's something I've 582 00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:51,000 Speaker 1: had to learn is have really uncomfortable conversations instead of 583 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:51,480 Speaker 1: shut down. 584 00:27:53,320 --> 00:27:56,600 Speaker 3: Okay, this will be our last question. We're in the 585 00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,520 Speaker 3: holiday season here. Do you think it's a red flag 586 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:01,679 Speaker 3: if a guy and suspend the holidays with his family 587 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:02,960 Speaker 3: instead of being with yours. 588 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 1: Well, this is really interesting because a friend of mine's 589 00:28:05,119 --> 00:28:09,080 Speaker 1: daughter who's thirty, has been dating this guy for about 590 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:13,000 Speaker 1: a year. And my friend called me and said, do 591 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,280 Speaker 1: you think it's weird that she's not invited on the 592 00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:19,560 Speaker 1: You know, she went last year on the family trip 593 00:28:19,600 --> 00:28:22,639 Speaker 1: with them, and this year they haven't brought it up here. 594 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: Do you think that's a red flag? And I said, 595 00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,919 Speaker 1: I do for her, right, because they're you know, at 596 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:31,520 Speaker 1: a year end, you thinks potentially starting their life together. 597 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:37,639 Speaker 1: I think for us when people have children or maybe 598 00:28:37,680 --> 00:28:40,960 Speaker 1: like a regular plan that they've always doe. I think, 599 00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:46,960 Speaker 1: as long as you're kind of communicating, maybe why like, hey, 600 00:28:47,040 --> 00:28:49,600 Speaker 1: like it would be so fun to do something together 601 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,920 Speaker 1: this vacation. But you know, we just started dating recently, 602 00:28:52,960 --> 00:28:55,160 Speaker 1: and I'd already had this plan or I had, you know, 603 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,560 Speaker 1: committed to doing this. But you know, it's nothing more 604 00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,520 Speaker 1: than a function of of you know that, right. It's 605 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:05,240 Speaker 1: not a deeper message of like I'm just not that 606 00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:07,640 Speaker 1: into you. But we can all read the tea leaves 607 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:10,479 Speaker 1: and read the room and know if somebody's into us 608 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:12,120 Speaker 1: or not or wants to be that and where there's 609 00:29:12,120 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: a will, there's a way, you know, somebody could fly 610 00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:16,000 Speaker 1: home to be home for New Year's Eve if they 611 00:29:16,040 --> 00:29:17,400 Speaker 1: really want to see somebody. 612 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,080 Speaker 2: And I think that's back to like the post divorce 613 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 2: where life is a little messier and complicated, and when 614 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,600 Speaker 2: it comes to the holidays, I think kind of what 615 00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:29,640 Speaker 2: you're saying, Louise is if you communicate on what why 616 00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:32,600 Speaker 2: the reason for not wanting to be there, I think 617 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:37,640 Speaker 2: it's totally fair because post like, I prioritize my family 618 00:29:37,680 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 2: holidays with my immediate family. And I mean I dated 619 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:46,880 Speaker 2: somebody for several years and we would do Christmas the 620 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:51,360 Speaker 2: three days prior to my family, you know, I remember, Yeah, 621 00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:54,840 Speaker 2: and then I would essentially kick him out and be like, Okay, 622 00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:58,040 Speaker 2: my family's here now. That really hurt his feelings, Yeah 623 00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,479 Speaker 2: I did. But I aren't going to change your routine, 624 00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,960 Speaker 2: which is a happy routine. Yeah. So I guess I'm 625 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:06,800 Speaker 2: on the flip side of that question. But yeah, I 626 00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:10,480 Speaker 2: mean that's how I feel. It's important to me. 627 00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: But if you are really I mean I also think 628 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:20,880 Speaker 1: like sometimes we don't make changes because we don't want 629 00:30:20,920 --> 00:30:22,680 Speaker 1: to make the changes. Like it's like there's a will, 630 00:30:22,720 --> 00:30:25,280 Speaker 1: there's way if you really wanted him to be a 631 00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,320 Speaker 1: part of it, you know what I'm saying, Like you 632 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,120 Speaker 1: could have made changes, you just didn't want to, And 633 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: that's okay too. 634 00:30:33,600 --> 00:30:35,480 Speaker 2: But I also think I have it all. I think 635 00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:36,840 Speaker 2: you can have your cake and eat it too. And 636 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 2: I think if you guys, do you know, a week 637 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 2: with each other and then a week with families for 638 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,280 Speaker 2: various reasons, like, I think that that can work. So 639 00:30:43,400 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 2: I think it's I don't think you can generalize, and 640 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:47,120 Speaker 2: I think all situations, no, I. 641 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,440 Speaker 1: Agree, But I also think friends no friends like you. 642 00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,160 Speaker 1: When I'm getting somebody and I'm like, look warm on it, 643 00:30:52,520 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, it's great. You're like yeah, you look 644 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,480 Speaker 1: like you're really excited, but no, it's amazing. 645 00:30:57,560 --> 00:30:57,880 Speaker 4: This is it. 646 00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,720 Speaker 1: This is really great, and you're like okay. And then 647 00:31:00,040 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 1: when I'm like, yeah, we're done, and she's like, no surprise. 648 00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,800 Speaker 1: I've been waiting for weeks for her. I was at dinner, 649 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,680 Speaker 1: Oh my god, I and then I know we have 650 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 1: to go. I've been dating somebody and it was it 651 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 1: was good. 652 00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 4: Like it was. It was good. 653 00:31:12,440 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 1: It was nice and fun and it was good and 654 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,360 Speaker 1: it fell under the category of like I had a 655 00:31:16,360 --> 00:31:18,360 Speaker 1: big life. It was a part of my life. And 656 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: I was at a dinner with a bunch of a 657 00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 1: bunch of girls and in front of mine sat down 658 00:31:21,760 --> 00:31:24,440 Speaker 1: and she was like glowing and she said, the fucking 659 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 1: my boyfriend, I'm so in love. And I was like 660 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:29,080 Speaker 1: sitting there thinking, I don't know that way, why don't 661 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 1: I feel that way? And my other friend looks at me, 662 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: she goes, you're dating somebody, right, I go yeah, She goes, 663 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:34,840 Speaker 1: why don't you sound like that? And I was like 664 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 1: and it was like like getting hit over the head. 665 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,320 Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, because I knew what I 666 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 1: felt on the inside, but when a friend can see 667 00:31:42,080 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: it and can like call it out, it's sometimes hard 668 00:31:45,480 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: to hear because the truth, you know, the truth deep 669 00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,440 Speaker 1: down that voice we have that little inner voice in 670 00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: our heart and mind. 671 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 3: M hm, Well, this has been so much fun. Thank 672 00:31:57,880 --> 00:31:59,880 Speaker 3: you guys for letting me be part of the action here. 673 00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 3: I feel like we j all just went on our 674 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 3: first date. 675 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 1: Would we get a second date? 676 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 3: Yes? I was going to say, I would call you 677 00:32:07,320 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 3: both back the same time. 678 00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 4: Thanks Easton, such a cutie. 679 00:32:11,840 --> 00:32:13,960 Speaker 3: Well, thanks for your vulnerability thanks for being so honest. 680 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:14,840 Speaker 3: We appreciate it. 681 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:16,440 Speaker 2: Here well, fun to talk to you. 682 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:27,960 Speaker 5: Thank you for having us. 683 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:31,560 Speaker 6: Hey, Hey, it's Jenny Garth. I love hearing those gals 684 00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 6: Thelma and Louise when they take over the show. Such 685 00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,640 Speaker 6: great insight and advice. If you are single or trying 686 00:32:38,680 --> 00:32:41,000 Speaker 6: to get back out there after a divorce and you 687 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,000 Speaker 6: want dating advice, or you're ready to find love again, 688 00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:46,920 Speaker 6: we want to hear from you. Call us one eight 689 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,240 Speaker 6: four four four I Do Pod that's eight four four 690 00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:54,360 Speaker 6: four four three six seven sixty three or email us 691 00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:59,280 Speaker 6: at idopod at iHeartRadio dot com, follow us on Instagram 692 00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:02,560 Speaker 6: and TikTok at. But I Do Part two Pod. All 693 00:33:02,600 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 6: this information is going to be in our show notes, 694 00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:07,680 Speaker 6: but make sure to rate us and review us because 695 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:11,480 Speaker 6: we love you. I Do Part two and iHeartRadio podcasts 696 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:14,240 Speaker 6: where falling in love is the main objective