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Speaker 1: This episode contains references to suicide and other sensitive topics.

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Speaker 1: Please listen with care and take care. If you or

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Speaker 1: someone you know is struggling, call eight hundred two seven

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Speaker 1: three eight two fifty five the National Suicide Hotline, or

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Speaker 1: call the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration Hotline

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Speaker 1: at one eight hundred sixty six ' two help. That's

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Speaker 1: one eight hundred sixty six to two help.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to She Pivots. I'm Amelia Hartford.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to She Pivots, the podcast where we talk with

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Speaker 1: women who dared to pivot out of one career and

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Speaker 1: into something new and explore how their personal lives impacted

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Speaker 1: these decisions. I'm your host, Emily Tish Sussman. Today I'm

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Speaker 1: joined by Amelia Hartford, actress best known for her role

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Speaker 1: in Grand Turismo, YouTuber and record breaking car builder and

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Speaker 1: driver Impressive. We're releasing Amelia's episode today in honor of

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Speaker 1: Mental Health Awareness Month because, in addition to her impressive career,

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Speaker 1: Amelia is a dedicated advocate for mental health. She sits

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Speaker 1: on the board of Alive and Well and has been

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Speaker 1: outspoken about her own experiences and struggles from the time

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Speaker 1: she was young Amelia always knew she wanted to be

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Speaker 1: an actress, and although her childhood was far from perfect,

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Speaker 1: life took a turn when she tragically lost her father

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Speaker 1: at just fifteen. Her life changed in a day and

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Speaker 1: she was forced to grow up quickly. That's when cars

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Speaker 1: came into her life and it became her path to healing.

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Speaker 1: At the time, she had no idea that one day

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Speaker 1: she would make it a career and bring her back

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Speaker 1: to her longtime dream of acting. What I love about

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Speaker 1: Amelia's story is that her pivot was born out of

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Speaker 1: healing and brought her to places and of opportunities she

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Speaker 1: couldn't even imagine. With one point five million YouTube subscribers,

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Speaker 1: a blockbuster movie, and multiple world records under her belt,

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Speaker 1: Amelia has remained grounded throughout it all. I hope you

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Speaker 1: enjoyed this episode as much as I did.

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Speaker 2: My name is Amelia Hartford. I am an actress, an entrepreneur.

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Speaker 2: I build a drive race cars, and I'm also on

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Speaker 2: the board of a nonprofit organization called Alive and Well, so.

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Speaker 1: We're going to go back. We're going to go back

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Speaker 1: to your childhood. Where were you born? I was born.

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Speaker 2: I actually just found out that I was born in Upland, California.

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Speaker 2: I lived in Westlake Village when I was younger, and

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Speaker 2: I found out I was born in Upland because that's

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Speaker 2: in San Bernardino, and my IMDb page says I was

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Speaker 2: born in San Bordadino, and I was like, oh, that's

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Speaker 2: not that's not right. I wasn't born in San Berdandino.

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Speaker 2: And we reached out to IMDb and they're like, well, no,

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Speaker 2: we actually pulled your records and you are, in fact,

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Speaker 2: like born in was like, whoa, that's news. But I

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Speaker 2: was born in Upland, California, And yeah, I grew up

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Speaker 2: in Westlake Village area, which for those who don't know

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Speaker 2: where that is, it's about an hour northwest ish of

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Speaker 2: Los Angeles. So I lived close enough to be near LA,

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Speaker 2: but far enough to where, you know, as a kid,

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Speaker 2: we never really made the drive to Los Angeles. My

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Speaker 2: dad was an aspiring producer and writer, so I always

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Speaker 2: knew him as writing scripts, trying to produce and make

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Speaker 2: stuff happen. But I also never felt like we were

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Speaker 2: in the business because all I saw was the work

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Speaker 2: he did at home. There was maybe one or two

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Speaker 2: times as a kid, I want to set to kind

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Speaker 2: of see that whole experience because I always wanted to act,

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Speaker 2: so my dad thought it'd be cool to bring me

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Speaker 2: to set a couple times and get to I think

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Speaker 2: his intention was to talk me out of it to

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Speaker 2: be a lawyer.

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Speaker 1: So you always wanted to be an actors? What turns

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Speaker 1: it on for you?

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Speaker 2: I always wanted to be an actress, and more so

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Speaker 2: because you don't remember, at least I don't remember a

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Speaker 2: lot when I was younger. So my mom's actually the

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Speaker 2: one who would always tell me, like, ever since you

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Speaker 2: could talk, it's the only thing you ever wanted to do.

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Speaker 2: And I know it sounds silly, and I feel like

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Speaker 2: you hear a lot of people say this, but as

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Speaker 2: a kid, you just love playing pretend. And then I

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Speaker 2: think I just never really grew out of the love

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Speaker 2: of wanting to explore these other I guess ways of

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Speaker 2: life and these characters, and it's just something that, like,

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Speaker 2: I really love to do. And when I was younger,

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Speaker 2: I didn't fully understand it to the way I do today,

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Speaker 2: but it was just fun. There was a career where

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Speaker 2: I got to continue to play, and that's what I

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Speaker 2: wanted to do.

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Speaker 1: Despite growing up in an idyllic community. Amelia's childhood was

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Speaker 1: far from perfect. Her upbringing was riddled with conflict and

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Speaker 1: pain that would influence her for years to come.

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Speaker 2: So I make it sound like my upbringing was really sweet,

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Speaker 2: from Westlake Village, a suburban community, and my dad taking

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Speaker 2: me to sets and all that. But I don't know

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Speaker 2: if I've talked too much about it. I feel like

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Speaker 2: as I'm getting older, I'm getting a little more vocal

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Speaker 2: with it. My dad had addiction issues growing up, and

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Speaker 2: he unfortunately also suffered a lot of mental health issues,

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Speaker 2: and in return, I hate he was abusive and it

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Speaker 2: was both physical and mental. But it was definitely a

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Speaker 2: hard upbringing. And my mom was a stay at home mom,

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Speaker 2: and it got worse as we got older.

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Speaker 1: As things got worse at home, they moved Amelia from

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Speaker 1: school to school as she struggled to cope with it all.

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Speaker 2: Because things at home had gotten so bad that I

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Speaker 2: wasn't trying in school. So I think I was just

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Speaker 2: going through such a hard time that I just stopped

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Speaker 2: caring in school because I was like, what's the point

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Speaker 2: I want to act? No one can tell me why

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Speaker 2: I need to know math. I don't care. I just

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Speaker 2: need to get through this point where I can either

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Speaker 2: emancipate myself or move out.

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Speaker 1: Then, when Amelia was a junior, the unimaginable happened.

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Speaker 2: But it was at that third year in high school

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Speaker 2: and my dad actually took his own life. He shot

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Speaker 2: himself in the head. And I was the only one

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Speaker 2: home with him that week when it had happened. And

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Speaker 2: that was definitely a huge shake up in my life

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Speaker 2: because although there was a abuse to the family, substance

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Speaker 2: abuse to himself, he was still my dad and I

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Speaker 2: still looked up to him. Even though it's kind of

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Speaker 2: crazy to be like, oh, you looked up to that,

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Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, he was my dad.

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Speaker 2: It's not always negative, like you can cry and laugh.

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Speaker 1: At the same time, the loss of her father reverberated

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Speaker 1: throughout her life. Her mother was now alone with two

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Speaker 1: kids and little to no work experience, So her mom

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Speaker 1: made the decision to go back to school and move

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Speaker 1: Amelia and her siblings closer to her family in the Midwest,

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Speaker 1: something that wasn't easy for Amelia.

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Speaker 2: We now have to uproot and move to Indiana because

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Speaker 2: she wants to be closer to a family who were

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Speaker 2: in Illinois. She couldn't afford the cost of living and

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Speaker 2: decided to go back to school. And I had to

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Speaker 2: grow up very quickly because there was no one who

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Speaker 2: was going to take care of me. I didn't have,

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Speaker 2: like I guess, I just always thought I had that

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Speaker 2: safety in my back pocket of there being my dad,

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Speaker 2: of like, oh, how do I save my money? How

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Speaker 2: do I buy my first car? Like the things that

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Speaker 2: I just, I guess, without really thinking, assumed I'd be

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Speaker 2: able to lean on him for And that's when I

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Speaker 2: had to grow up a little and realize that if

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Speaker 2: the thing's gonna if I'm gonna learn anything in this life,

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Speaker 2: ornything's gonna happen. I don't want to say I'm on

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Speaker 2: my own, because you know, I grew to have peers,

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Speaker 2: and obviously my mom was there, but it was I

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Speaker 2: wanted to take care of my mom. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be the person who could kind of take care of

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Speaker 2: myself also, And that's kind of what shifted for me.

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Speaker 2: And I didn't understand at the time why she would

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Speaker 2: want to move. And I was kind of at this

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Speaker 2: rebellious age of just kind of being mad at the

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Speaker 2: world over everything. As I've grown older. My mom's my hero.

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Speaker 2: The fact that she went through that and handled the

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Speaker 2: way she did and is still here today after I

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Speaker 2: mean they were still married up until he took his life.

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Speaker 2: She might not have the nicest things to say about him,

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Speaker 2: but her going through that was the role model that

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Speaker 2: I had in my life, whether I realized it or not.

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Speaker 1: At this point, a Million felt trapped, trapped by her family,

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Speaker 1: by the move by life, and she saw cars as

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Speaker 1: the way to freedom. Here's a clip of her talking

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Speaker 1: about it on the broad Ideas podcast with Rachel Bilson

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Speaker 1: and Olivia Allen.

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Speaker 3: All Right, I need a car. I need that sense

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Speaker 3: of freedom and escape and I need to get out.

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Speaker 3: What car do I buy myself?

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Speaker 2: But before moving to Indiana again, one of the big

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Speaker 2: decisions in my life is what car was going to

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Speaker 2: buy myself. I went on the internet. The Internet told

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Speaker 2: me I needed something real drive, a stick shift, and

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Speaker 2: bigger than a four cylinder. And I bought this Infinity

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Speaker 2: G thirty five for my first car. It was a

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Speaker 2: manual six cylinder where will drive fun little JDM twudor

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Speaker 2: and it was bright green. It was super flashy looking

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Speaker 2: and I loved it. And that's the car. I drove

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Speaker 2: from California to Indiana, and while I was out there,

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Speaker 2: I had one of my friends in the passenger seat

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Speaker 2: of my car and we're out of light in Bloomington, Indiana,

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Speaker 2: and this old Crownvic like they're what the old cop

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Speaker 2: cars were pulled up next to us at the light,

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Speaker 2: and my friend yells out the window, don't you love

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Speaker 2: my friend's car? And I was like, Jessica, you're being

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Speaker 2: so embarrassing right now. But his name's Deo, and Dao

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Speaker 2: was like, I do, Actually, you should consider coming to

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Speaker 2: one of our car meets, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that sounds fun. So he hands out the window like

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Speaker 2: a little time and an address of war to show

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Speaker 2: up to, and it happened to be like a couple

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Speaker 2: days later. My friend didn't come with me, And in hindsight,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, why is this sixteen year old girl showing

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Speaker 2: up to this parking garage in the middle of the

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Speaker 2: night in Indiana to go meet this random guy and whatever?

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Speaker 2: Like I don't in hindsight, I'm like, what the fuck? Sorry,

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Speaker 2: language was I thinking? But I ended up going and

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Speaker 2: I think I was just like I didn't have that

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Speaker 2: thought of like what if, and I don't think I've

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Speaker 2: ever really had that what's planned B or stuff like

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Speaker 2: that just went. But that's where I met B Crew

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Speaker 2: B for Bloomington and then Crew. And that's also where

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Speaker 2: I met Booch, who is still one of my closest

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Speaker 2: friends to this day. He became my first mentor. I'm

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Speaker 2: actually one of the groomsmen at his wedding this year.

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Speaker 1: That's amazing.

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Speaker 2: And the guys kind of became my found family and

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Speaker 2: they pulled me out of this really dark time and

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Speaker 2: you know, instead of partying on the weekends, which don't

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Speaker 2: get me wrong, there was a fair share of they

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Speaker 2: really helped pull me out of that and I began

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Speaker 2: upgrading turbos and swapping engines and just kind of working

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Speaker 2: on cars, which was everything I needed at that time.

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Speaker 1: Without realizing it, Amelia's love for cars became her lifeline

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Speaker 1: as she slowly healed from the loss of her father.

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Speaker 2: It was fun, it was a great distraction, and they

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Speaker 2: kind of opened me up to a world where I

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Speaker 2: could take something, tear it apart, and make it better

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Speaker 2: or faster than what it was previously. And I had

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Speaker 2: always done that in my life, like when I had

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Speaker 2: an Xbox. When I was little, I would get the

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Speaker 2: Red Ring of Death and I would tear it apart,

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Speaker 2: and you're supposed to stack it with pennies, and I'd

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Speaker 2: put it all back together. And I just liked the

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Speaker 2: element of taking things apart, seeing how they worked and

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Speaker 2: doing that. So when I got introduced to that for cars,

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Speaker 2: it everything just clicked at that point. And it was

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Speaker 2: also great because I feel like I've had a found

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Speaker 2: family now wherever I travel, there's a car community somewhere everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Still, while her love for cars grew, her dream of

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Speaker 1: being an actress always played in the back of her mind.

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Speaker 1: When we come back, Amelia talks about revisiting her longtime

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Speaker 1: dream of being an actress. Now back to the show.

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Speaker 2: I started getting this feeling of like my time years up,

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Speaker 2: like I'm ready to go back and chase this dream.

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Speaker 2: I actually couldn't turn on the television without feeling guilty

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't pursuing the one, like literally the one

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Speaker 2: thing I wanted to do in life. It's funny because

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Speaker 2: I like tried auditioning for the school play and I

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Speaker 2: didn't get in, and I was trying to actually apply

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Speaker 2: to like acting colleges like I tried applying to USC.

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Speaker 2: There was a Wellington, which was a school in New

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Speaker 2: Zealand that had a big focus on I was going

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Speaker 2: to try to I listen. I didn't have the money

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Speaker 2: to do it. I was just applying to see what

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Speaker 2: would happen and then figure it out from there. I also,

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Speaker 2: from going through everything I had went through, I felt

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Speaker 2: that I wasn't going to get what I needed from

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Speaker 2: a typical education because everything I went through I had,

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Speaker 2: I was like doing firsthand to learn. So something in

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Speaker 2: my gut was like, you need to just move back

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Speaker 2: to Los Angeles and just try to get work. And

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Speaker 2: I packed my little two door Japanese car I had

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Speaker 2: had another one at that point, whatever I could fit

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Speaker 2: in it, drove cross country and started this crazy adventure.

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Speaker 2: At that point, what.

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Speaker 1: Did you do when you showed up in LA? You're like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I'm in the city limits, Like where did

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Speaker 1: you go?

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Speaker 2: So I felt like I didn't even know La because

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Speaker 2: I didn't spend time here as a kid. I got

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Speaker 2: this little apartment in North Hollywood, But like.

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Speaker 1: How did you find the first apartment? Like where did

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Speaker 1: you literally go when you when you showed up Craigslist,

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Speaker 1: of course.

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Speaker 2: I and I still use like I still like I

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Speaker 2: buy cars off Craigslist today, Like I did everything on Craigslist,

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Speaker 2: and all my furniture was there from there too. So

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Speaker 2: I had previously come out to like kind of apartment,

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Speaker 2: and then I went on Craigslist. I tried to find

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Speaker 2: not only as I tried to find the most affordable apartment,

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Speaker 2: I also had to go see to make sure that

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Speaker 2: my car could make it up the driveway because I

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Speaker 2: drove a really low car that had no air conditioning,

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Speaker 2: was extremely loud, and I, you know, I realized after

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Speaker 2: a couple of years of being here, going to auditions

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Speaker 2: where I had sweat all down the back of my shirt,

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Speaker 2: my makeup was runny, my hair was frizzy, I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 2: and I'd break down sometimes I'm like, all right, I

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Speaker 2: need a reliable car for transportation that has air conditioning.

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Speaker 1: You're like, this might not be helping me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I found. I ended up finding this place

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Speaker 2: that I then signed a lease. It was rent controlled,

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Speaker 2: which was super helpful for me at the time, and

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Speaker 2: I moved in.

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Speaker 1: What kind of jobs did you work when you got.

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Speaker 2: To La Everything was food and service so I worked

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Speaker 2: as I started as a bus and then I went

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Speaker 2: as a host, and then I started waiting tables, and

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Speaker 2: I did food and service for six years before starting YouTube.

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Speaker 1: So you kept up with the cars the whole time.

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Speaker 1: Tell us a little bit about like did you keep

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Speaker 1: it up? Like what did the car piece look like

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Speaker 1: for you?

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Speaker 2: So I was continue to work in my car. I

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Speaker 2: had to keep it running in order to get to work,

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Speaker 2: and I couldn't afford to take it to shops, and

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Speaker 2: the couple shops I hadn't taken it too, I felt

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Speaker 2: like I was always taking either overpaying or I'd get

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Speaker 2: my car back and there'd be a new issue that

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Speaker 2: wasn't there before, and the math wasn't mathing. So I

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Speaker 2: was like, in order to like, I just need to

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Speaker 2: keep doing it myself because I can at least trust that.

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Speaker 2: And it was also just fun. And so when I

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Speaker 2: wasn't working at a restaurant, I was at Samuel French

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Speaker 2: reading every play I could. I'd bought the agent and

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Speaker 2: manage your books, and I put together a little package

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Speaker 2: and cold mailed everyone. I thought it could be a

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Speaker 2: right fit to work together, and I was signing up

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Speaker 2: on casting director workshops, and I would print little headshot

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Speaker 2: cards and mail them the casting directors, and I did

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Speaker 2: everything I could on that front. And then when I

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Speaker 2: wasn't doing that, I was tinkering with my car.

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Speaker 1: So the car tinkering ended up kind of being out

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Speaker 1: of necessity, but keep done some serious builds. Was that

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Speaker 1: during that period when it was when you were doing

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Speaker 1: the builds?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think it was more just tinkering out of

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Speaker 2: necessity and just upkeep and routine maintenance and necessary upgrades.

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Speaker 2: And I after six years of mind you, it took

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Speaker 2: me nine years of being in LA before I got

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Speaker 2: my first opportunity in acting, after six years of working

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Speaker 2: in a restaurant. It was actually my mom who was like, honey,

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Speaker 2: you're always working on your cars. Have you ever thought

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Speaker 2: about filming it and putting it on YouTube? And I

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Speaker 2: remember so clear as like YouTube, please, Mom, What do

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Speaker 2: you know about YouTube? Moms are always right though, And

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Speaker 2: around the same time there was Vice Media. They were

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Speaker 2: putting together to help launch Michelin tires new PS four

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Speaker 2: US tire, which it's funny at a lot of you

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Speaker 2: listening might actually have that tire on your car, and

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Speaker 2: they wanted more women representation at this event because the

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Speaker 2: space is very male dominated and I had no followers

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Speaker 2: on my Instagram, but I think I was doing I

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Speaker 2: had a subrou at one point because I thought, well,

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Speaker 2: this will be more reliable than my other car, which

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Speaker 2: they're not, and I was I posted a photo like

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Speaker 2: doing breaks or something on my Subaru and someone Advice

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Speaker 2: had seen this post on Instagram thought we should reach out.

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Speaker 2: And I remember I was one of the restaurants I

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Speaker 2: was working out where I was like, oh, Vice Media

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Speaker 2: just reached out to me. This was like right around

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Speaker 2: the same time my mom was pressing me to do YouTube.

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Speaker 2: They want me to come just meet them and Michelin

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Speaker 2: and be a part of this event for the new

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Speaker 2: tire and I was so proud. I went to my

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Speaker 2: boss and he was so stoked for me. He's like, yeah, absolutely.

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Speaker 2: I was like, I need to take three days off.

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Speaker 2: He's like, you can do this, go do it. And

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Speaker 2: I like went and I saw these guys screaming at

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Speaker 2: a camera and I was like, this is YouTube. If

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Speaker 2: they could do it, I can do it. And these

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Speaker 2: guys are have I still talk to them today. They

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Speaker 2: were hugely helpful to where my career is today, and

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Speaker 2: they were so supportive because they also wanted to help,

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Speaker 2: like they wanted to see other women in the space

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Speaker 2: as well, so they were like, this is the camera

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Speaker 2: you want to get, and you want to put this

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Speaker 2: little fuzzy thing on. It was a G seven X

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Speaker 2: for those who knows cameras, and they're like, you should

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Speaker 2: put this little fuzzy thing on the mic for wind noise,

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Speaker 2: and this is the editing software we recommend you use,

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00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:14,600
Speaker 2: and blah blah blah. And they kind of gave me

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Speaker 2: the foundation for what I needed and they're like, if

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00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:20,080
Speaker 2: you have any questions, like, we're happy to be here

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Speaker 2: to help guide you. Obviously they're not going to do

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Speaker 2: the work for me. Nobody is. But if I needed

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Speaker 2: a little bit of advice here or there, they were

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Speaker 2: there for me. And when I got back, I am

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Speaker 2: not exaggerating when I say the story. I spent every

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Speaker 2: single penny in my bank account to buy a G

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Speaker 2: seven X and I bought it off Craigslist and I

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Speaker 2: met this guy at a random gas station and if

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Speaker 2: I remember correctly, it didn't even come with a battery.

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Speaker 2: So then I had to go save money to go

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Speaker 2: buy a battery for this camera and then go get

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Speaker 2: like SD cards and my first video, which I was

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Speaker 2: intimidated to do, but I also did plenty of research

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Speaker 2: to see what performed, what did well on YouTube, what

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Speaker 2: space and category was I putting myself in with the

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Speaker 2: cars that I'd be making content with, and what kind

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Speaker 2: of objective or through line should there be. So my

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Speaker 2: first video was walking around my Nissan two forty SX,

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Speaker 2: which was the car that I drove from Indiana to California.

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Speaker 2: And my idea was, and what I had voiced to

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Speaker 2: my non existent audience at the time, was I'm this

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Speaker 2: is my car. And I just did ten minutes walking

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Speaker 2: around the car, showing it, talking about it all the

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Speaker 2: things that needed to get done. And I set a goal,

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Speaker 2: and my goal was I'm going to rebuild this car

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Speaker 2: because I'd been sitting for a long time and learn

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Speaker 2: how to drift in one month.

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Speaker 3: Hi guys, I'm Amelia miss Amelia on Instagram, and welcome

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Speaker 3: to my first blog. I've decided to start blogging the

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Speaker 3: build of my two forty that I've had for five

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Speaker 3: years now. Okay, guys, so as you can see those.

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Speaker 2: Car, it's a lot of work, but I'm excited for it.

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Speaker 1: I think it'll be fun.

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Speaker 3: There's a lot to do, but yeah, bye bye.

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Speaker 2: And the first video did half a million views and

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Speaker 2: I wasn't expecting it. I uploaded the video I want

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Speaker 2: snowboarding in the mountains and I had no service, and

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Speaker 2: as I was coming down the mountain, I'm like looking

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Speaker 2: at him, like, oh my god, it's done. You know,

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Speaker 2: first it was ten thousand views, then it's done twenty,

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Speaker 2: that's done, one hundred, and I'm like, oh my god,

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Speaker 2: like this is like, this is crazy. And I was like, okay,

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Speaker 2: well I have to keep doing it, Like I can't

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Speaker 2: just not do it now. This this is it. So

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Speaker 2: ever since then, i'd been doing three videos a week

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Speaker 2: for the last seven years, really six years the last

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Speaker 2: year after booking Grand Turismo. I'm always going to continue

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Speaker 2: to do YouTube, but I've tailored it back to one

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Speaker 2: video a week so I can also have a good

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Speaker 2: light work life balance, because I want to do this forever.

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Speaker 2: And I see a lot of other creators get burnt

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Speaker 2: out because of how taxing this job can be on

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Speaker 2: your mental and your physical. So I'm like, let me

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Speaker 2: get ahead of it, let me tailor it down. So

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Speaker 2: I can have longevity because I don't, like, I have

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Speaker 2: such an incredible audience that I feel like they're my friends,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like I can't just not call my

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Speaker 2: friends anymore, you know.

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Speaker 1: So I want to hear what your intention was when

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Speaker 1: you say that you were very intentional about like what

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Speaker 1: the through line was, what the content was, how it

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Speaker 1: was positioning, like how you thought it about it going

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Speaker 1: in as you started it, and then it did it evolve?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So my initial through line was I'm going to

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Speaker 2: build this car and learn how to drift in one month.

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Speaker 2: It was a tangible goal that I could try to

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Speaker 2: achieve and it was something that the audience could understand.

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Speaker 2: What's the purpose. And it's funny because, like, again, I

428
00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,360
Speaker 2: had no money. I was on food stamps three different times,

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Speaker 2: and I put out this video and I'm just like,

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Speaker 2: I feel like I just lied to everyone, because how

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Speaker 2: the fuck am I going to afford parts? I can't

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Speaker 2: even change my oil without getting threatened to viction in

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Speaker 2: my parking garage. And through the first video, I had

434
00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,640
Speaker 2: one person reach out who became a friend, who then

435
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 2: reached connected me to another person who it kind of

436
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,680
Speaker 2: snowballed into some person like people letting me borrow their

437
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,840
Speaker 2: tools and some people selling me parts for cheap because

438
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:49,760
Speaker 2: they could let them go. And it just like, I

439
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:54,679
Speaker 2: love the car community because they were so willing to

440
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:58,919
Speaker 2: help at a time just to wanting to see a

441
00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 2: fellow audi enthusiastic person succeed with their goal. So everyone

442
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 2: was hugely supportive. And it was crazy because people say,

443
00:25:06,520 --> 00:25:08,919
Speaker 2: leap in the net will appear, and that was like

444
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 2: the first time that I really saw that happen. And

445
00:25:12,200 --> 00:25:15,320
Speaker 2: then slowly I started making money on the videos I

446
00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:17,840
Speaker 2: was posting, and don't get me wrong, they didn't all

447
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,200
Speaker 2: do half a mil. That was just the first one.

448
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,240
Speaker 2: Then when I started posting again, then they were doing

449
00:25:22,240 --> 00:25:25,800
Speaker 2: like twenty thousand, forty thousand, and then everything just kind

450
00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:29,480
Speaker 2: of evolved from there and grew larger than what I

451
00:25:29,520 --> 00:25:31,160
Speaker 2: could have ever imagined.

452
00:25:31,960 --> 00:25:36,000
Speaker 1: Then you became very accomplished in cars and as a

453
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:40,479
Speaker 1: creator in YouTube, and then you came I'd say, back

454
00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:43,280
Speaker 1: to acting, because I guess, did you ever really leave it?

455
00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: Liked was there ever a point where you're like, you

456
00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 1: know what, this YouTube thing is really working out for me?

457
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: Or you were or you were always trying to get

458
00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:49,600
Speaker 1: back to.

459
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 2: Acting I've always wanted to do acting. I couldn't afford

460
00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 2: to do acting class at a certain point because I

461
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:58,679
Speaker 2: was just trying to pay my rent, and I just

462
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 2: I felt so guilty because I really am so I'm

463
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:03,720
Speaker 2: such a believer and if you have a dream, go

464
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,600
Speaker 2: after it, and I just felt so guilty that I

465
00:26:06,680 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 2: wasn't going after it. That I do think sometimes you

466
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 2: need to step aside to reassess, build, and plan in

467
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:17,000
Speaker 2: order to go back to doing something. Otherwise it's like,

468
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:20,560
Speaker 2: if you do what's that saying? The definition of insanity

469
00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 2: is doing the same thing every day and expecting different results.

470
00:26:23,560 --> 00:26:28,600
Speaker 2: So being able to step aside and create this family

471
00:26:29,119 --> 00:26:33,400
Speaker 2: also business on YouTube, it gave me, and I say

472
00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 2: financial freedom lightly, but it gave me the freedom to

473
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: afford food on my table, pay my rent, and afford

474
00:26:41,800 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 2: acting class. And I wasn't desperate to book a job.

475
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:49,560
Speaker 2: I got to actually enjoy the process and make unique

476
00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:56,120
Speaker 2: choices in character work. And yeah, I also saw when

477
00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 2: I was a big part of the decision of starting

478
00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:02,639
Speaker 2: to YouTube too, was when I was waiting tables. The

479
00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:05,040
Speaker 2: joke is, oh, you're an actor, what restaurant do you

480
00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:09,840
Speaker 2: work at? And I saw other servers that I worked

481
00:27:09,880 --> 00:27:14,359
Speaker 2: with lose acting jobs to people who had a following

482
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:17,120
Speaker 2: on social media, and it was still such a new

483
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,160
Speaker 2: thing at the time. So I felt like, well, if

484
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,720
Speaker 2: I could do what I love, which is building cars,

485
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,160
Speaker 2: and I can also build a following, maybe just maybe

486
00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:30,439
Speaker 2: that can help me. At the same time, what was

487
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:34,439
Speaker 2: the first acting job that you got. So the first

488
00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,200
Speaker 2: acting job that I got was this And I say

489
00:27:38,600 --> 00:27:41,640
Speaker 2: I call them little that's because what everyone calls them,

490
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,159
Speaker 2: the producer, the director, all of them. It was this

491
00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 2: little Christmas movie. It was California Christmas City Lights. So

492
00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:52,239
Speaker 2: it was their sequel to California Christmas, which was the

493
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:58,560
Speaker 2: first movie during COVID to finish production, and it went

494
00:27:58,840 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 2: on Netflix and number one in the world for like

495
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: eight weeks or something like that. So I ended up

496
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,200
Speaker 2: getting a really sweet opportunity to be in the second one,

497
00:28:08,760 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 2: and I had a few lines in there. And then

498
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,080
Speaker 2: that team kind of became a family in a way

499
00:28:16,119 --> 00:28:21,280
Speaker 2: as well, the ESX family, and they do these smaller

500
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:27,359
Speaker 2: budget Christmas movies and they've helped me to get some

501
00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,679
Speaker 2: more on set experience. I had met the owner of

502
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: the production company Ali through a former manager of mine,

503
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 2: because Ali, he and I have similar stories. I know

504
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 2: he'd be okay with me sharing this. But I lost

505
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:45,560
Speaker 2: my dad at fifteen. He lost his mom at fifteen,

506
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:49,720
Speaker 2: and he ended up going to the automotive world in

507
00:28:49,800 --> 00:28:53,600
Speaker 2: the same trajectory that I did. And it's funny because

508
00:28:53,600 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 2: I had at one point held the record for the

509
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,920
Speaker 2: world's fastest new generation corvette, but he did for super

510
00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:04,800
Speaker 2: and we didn't know one another, and he went from

511
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 2: racing for subru to producing movies about cars to then

512
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:14,200
Speaker 2: doing these feel good Christmas movies. Allie's become like a

513
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 2: father to me. I'm very grateful that he was introduced

514
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:20,760
Speaker 2: to me and is in my life. But from there

515
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: is how I got Grand Turismo. I had done like

516
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 2: a little Netflix thing back in the day called Fastest Car.

517
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:29,800
Speaker 2: And it's funny because I actually like everyone's like, why

518
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 2: are you doing this? Like because I was losing money.

519
00:29:32,480 --> 00:29:33,840
Speaker 2: I didn't get paid for it. Everyone thinks, how I

520
00:29:33,920 --> 00:29:35,920
Speaker 2: must have made a lot of money. I was just like, oh, yeah,

521
00:29:35,920 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 2: I'll do it if I can do like this fun

522
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,800
Speaker 2: race and maybe get a Netflix credit, which could be cool.

523
00:29:41,880 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 2: But I was more stoked about the fact that they

524
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:46,000
Speaker 2: were going to give me x amount of money to

525
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 2: put a roll cage in my car because in order

526
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 2: to race, for them to get insurance, mic or had

527
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,840
Speaker 2: to be safe and I couldn't afford it. So I

528
00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 2: was like, well, they're going to pay for it and

529
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:57,360
Speaker 2: I get to race, Like why not. I had really

530
00:29:57,840 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 2: enjoyed the show previously. They allow you just to like

531
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: share your story and hopefully inspire others, and then you

532
00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: get to race a four wide drag race, which is

533
00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 2: kind of how I got into drag racing. Because my

534
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:18,240
Speaker 2: little Nissan two forty SX, I decided for this Fastest

535
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:22,480
Speaker 2: Car show, I would convert my drift car into a

536
00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:26,400
Speaker 2: drag car, and that's what I did, and I loved it,

537
00:30:26,440 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 2: and then that's kind of how I became obsessed with

538
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:31,240
Speaker 2: drag racing. But I did the show. They flew boots

539
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: out from Indiana, which is super sweet, and one of

540
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 2: the producers on Grand Turismo had seen that episode. He

541
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:40,520
Speaker 2: was also a fan of the show started following me

542
00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:43,520
Speaker 2: on Instagram. I didn't know this, and when I was

543
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:50,240
Speaker 2: posting about the carpet premier stuff for the ESX productions

544
00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,440
Speaker 2: I was a part of, he saw that, oh she's acting.

545
00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 2: We actually have a role in this movie. We should

546
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:00,280
Speaker 2: have her audition for casting. I guess loved me and

547
00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 2: the rest of this history.

548
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,880
Speaker 1: What kind of impact did that have on your trajectory?

549
00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 1: It's such a huge, huge thing.

550
00:31:07,960 --> 00:31:11,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so easy to feel hopeless at times, and

551
00:31:11,880 --> 00:31:15,440
Speaker 2: especially in this industry. Like a week before, I was like,

552
00:31:15,720 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: when they say it takes ten years to be an

553
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,440
Speaker 2: overnight success, it took me ten years to like, I

554
00:31:21,520 --> 00:31:25,120
Speaker 2: felt like, really just start. But that job gave me

555
00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,080
Speaker 2: so much hope, and I don't I keep talking about

556
00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:30,719
Speaker 2: how I meet these incredible people along my life, and

557
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 2: it sounds cheesy, but I am grateful, and I think

558
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 2: that's something that I can always rely on myself to

559
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: be as grateful because I believe there is good in everyone,

560
00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:45,640
Speaker 2: and I do think people want to see others succeed,

561
00:31:46,360 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: and yeah, I've I think I've also been through enough

562
00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:52,680
Speaker 2: to see so much negativity that I'd rather just have

563
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 2: that outlook on life of being surrounded by great people.

564
00:31:57,360 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 1: Amelia's positive outlook on life has not always come. She's

565
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: been open about her struggles with mental health, depression, and anxiety.

566
00:32:05,480 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 1: When we come back, Amelia talks about how she found

567
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 1: help amidst her struggles. Now back to the show. So

568
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:21,600
Speaker 1: you've spoken openly about how you've struggled with mental health,

569
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:25,760
Speaker 1: with depression and anxiety. How has that manifested itself for you?

570
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,160
Speaker 2: I feel like dealing with it is literally what I

571
00:32:29,200 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 2: did for so long. It took me a very, very,

572
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 2: very long time to find a therapist. So spent a

573
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,840
Speaker 2: lot of time trying to find a good therapist. I'm

574
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: very big on working out. I think working out every

575
00:32:42,160 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 2: day or even just taking a thirty minute walk outside,

576
00:32:45,240 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 2: getting some sunlight's very important. Taking your multi vitamins as

577
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:53,400
Speaker 2: you know, cheesy as that sounds, and getting good proper

578
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:56,040
Speaker 2: sleep and all that, and surrounding yourself with good people

579
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,320
Speaker 2: and all that. It's all easier said than done, but

580
00:32:58,480 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 2: super important to do. And also just proper education in

581
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 2: learning about you know, you take care of your physical health,

582
00:33:06,640 --> 00:33:08,240
Speaker 2: how do you take care of your mental health?

583
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,760
Speaker 1: I should continue to educate herself. Amelia has made it

584
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 1: a point to educate her audience alongside her becoming a

585
00:33:16,400 --> 00:33:18,120
Speaker 1: staunch mental health advocate.

586
00:33:18,680 --> 00:33:22,959
Speaker 3: Just spread love, spread kindness, be kind Know that everyone

587
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 3: is fighting a battle that.

588
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:29,120
Speaker 2: You know nothing about. If you guys, don't have peers

589
00:33:29,200 --> 00:33:32,200
Speaker 2: or family that you can reach out to, or just

590
00:33:32,200 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: need someone to call. There is an emergency hotline that

591
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:41,240
Speaker 2: you can talk to someone. It's really sad when people

592
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 2: believe or at that mental state where they feel suicide

593
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:49,520
Speaker 2: is their only option. And I promise you that it

594
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,200
Speaker 2: is not. There is a lot at the end of

595
00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:54,160
Speaker 2: the tunnel. Things will get better and there are people

596
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 2: here for you. And that's kind of how I found

597
00:33:57,200 --> 00:34:00,600
Speaker 2: Alive and Well because that's the non profit that I'm

598
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 2: on the board of, because their through line was we'd

599
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,800
Speaker 2: rather put a fence around a cliff than an ambulance

600
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:12,080
Speaker 2: or rehearsed at the bottom. And how they've done that

601
00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:19,000
Speaker 2: was really through education and starting with trying to educate

602
00:34:19,280 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 2: young adults with proper mental health care. And we in

603
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 2: Atlanta work with various schools and therapists to help educate

604
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:36,320
Speaker 2: and also to help subsidize, So we're working on subsidizing

605
00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,160
Speaker 2: the cost of mental health care. I'd like to try

606
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,839
Speaker 2: to find a way where we can eventually make it

607
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,880
Speaker 2: cost free for people and so much more so. Yeah,

608
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: I found them trying to learn and educate myself and

609
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 2: that's been great.

610
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:56,120
Speaker 1: Is there anything in particular where at the time you

611
00:34:56,160 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 1: felt like was really like a low point or a setback,

612
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:02,879
Speaker 1: but now in retrospect you see it as having really

613
00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: launched you to where you are now.

614
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean quite frankly, my dad's death. I know

615
00:35:09,200 --> 00:35:11,960
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be where I am today. I know I

616
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:15,880
Speaker 2: wouldn't be as grounded or as hard working. It sounds

617
00:35:15,880 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 2: so fucked up to say this, because I wish my

618
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:21,920
Speaker 2: dad were still here today, but it was probably one

619
00:35:21,960 --> 00:35:24,400
Speaker 2: of the best things to happen to me and my family.

620
00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:29,080
Speaker 2: Keep in mind the abuse and the struggles that we

621
00:35:29,239 --> 00:35:31,400
Speaker 2: went through and what he was struggling with as well.

622
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:35,239
Speaker 2: Is weird as it sounds. That changed my life for

623
00:35:35,320 --> 00:35:37,600
Speaker 2: the better and it has made me who I am today,

624
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:41,319
Speaker 2: and I am weirdly grateful for that.

625
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much for being on with us

626
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:46,080
Speaker 1: and being such an open book.

627
00:35:46,480 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 2: Oh thank you. I really do appreciate you having me on.

628
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:55,000
Speaker 1: Amelia is continuing to advocate for more mental health resources

629
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:58,040
Speaker 1: and care, all while breaking world records as a car

630
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,920
Speaker 1: builder and driver, not forget her career as an actress.

631
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,319
Speaker 1: To stay up to date on everything Amelia is up

632
00:36:05,320 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 1: to follow her on Instagram at miss Amelia You can

633
00:36:08,960 --> 00:36:12,000
Speaker 1: also find a list of mental health resources on our website,

634
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:17,200
Speaker 1: she Pivots the Podcast under our causes page. Thanks for

635
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:20,439
Speaker 1: listening to this episode of she Pivots. If you've made

636
00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:23,160
Speaker 1: it this far, you're a true pivoter, so thanks for

637
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:26,560
Speaker 1: being part of this community. I hope you enjoyed this episode,

638
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:29,239
Speaker 1: and if you did leave us a rating, please be nice.

639
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:32,520
Speaker 1: Tell your friends about us. To learn more about our guests,

640
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:36,000
Speaker 1: follow us on Instagram at she pivots the Podcast, or

641
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: sign up for our newsletter where you can get exclusive

642
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:41,280
Speaker 1: behind the scenes content, or on our website, she Pivots

643
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 1: the Podcast Talk to You next Week. Special thanks to

644
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:52,600
Speaker 1: the she Pivots team, Executive producer Emily Edavlosk, Associate producer

645
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:57,160
Speaker 1: and social media connoisseur Hannah Cousins, Research director Christine Dickinson,

646
00:36:57,560 --> 00:37:01,520
Speaker 1: Events and Logistics coordinator, Madeleine snow vic An, audio editor

647
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 1: and mixer Nina pollock I endorse Te Pivots