1 00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,800 Speaker 1: All right time now, guys for today's Strawberry Letter, and 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:07,400 Speaker 1: if you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 3 00:00:07,400 --> 00:00:10,680 Speaker 1: and more. Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM 4 00:00:10,720 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 1: dot com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be 5 00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: reading your letter live on the air, just like we're 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:20,079 Speaker 1: going to read this one right here, right now. Buckle 7 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,320 Speaker 1: up and hold on tight. We got it for you here. 8 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 1: It is the Strawberry Letters. Thank you, nephew. Subject number 9 00:00:27,160 --> 00:00:30,720 Speaker 1: two will never be number one. Dear Stephen Shirley. I 10 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 1: was a single and attractive thirty four year old woman 11 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,360 Speaker 1: losing hope at finding love. I grew tired of the 12 00:00:37,479 --> 00:00:40,279 Speaker 1: dating cycle and I decided that I would not have 13 00:00:40,400 --> 00:00:45,320 Speaker 1: sex again until I was married. I prayed and practiced celibacy, 14 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,400 Speaker 1: and a year later I met the man of my dreams. 15 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: He is handsome, educated, gainfully employed, and he loves the Lord. 16 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:57,760 Speaker 1: I fell hard for this man, and a year after 17 00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: we met, we got married. I was so excited for 18 00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: my wedding night because it would be our first time 19 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:08,440 Speaker 1: making love. He is blessed with the proper equipment, but 20 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:12,600 Speaker 1: it's his skill set that's lacking. On our wedding night, 21 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: I had the absolute worst sexual experience I've ever had. 22 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 1: It was four minutes from start to finish. Then he 23 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:25,279 Speaker 1: passed out and slept like he has showed out. Since then, 24 00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,960 Speaker 1: he's been overly confident, and he's not as attentive and 25 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:33,120 Speaker 1: loving as when we met. Six months into the marriage, 26 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,760 Speaker 1: I ran into an old friend from college and he 27 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 1: had some dental work done and it made a world 28 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 1: of difference in his appearance. We had lunch and we 29 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: talked for hours. He said that when I got married 30 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:48,560 Speaker 1: it broke his heart because he's always had a big 31 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: crush on me, but didn't think I'd give him the 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: time of day. Well, I've given him a lot more 33 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:58,000 Speaker 1: than that. I'm falling for this man because he has 34 00:01:58,080 --> 00:02:02,279 Speaker 1: given me his whole heart, and he holds me after sex, 35 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 1: kisses my nose, and looks unto my soul when he 36 00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: talks to me. I'm ready to get a divorce and 37 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:12,320 Speaker 1: date my boyfriend for a while. I want to be happy, 38 00:02:12,560 --> 00:02:15,560 Speaker 1: and so far this guy could be my soul mate. 39 00:02:15,960 --> 00:02:19,079 Speaker 1: Steve says that number two will never be number one, 40 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: So I want your opinion on my situation. What if 41 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 1: this time there is an exception to the rule. Could 42 00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:33,160 Speaker 1: this be true love? Wow? Well, by exception to the rule. 43 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:36,239 Speaker 1: You mean he's your number two, right, and you're thinking 44 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:39,799 Speaker 1: of making him number one, replacing your husband with him. 45 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:44,799 Speaker 1: Could this be true love? You ask, Well, I don't 46 00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: know about that. I don't know if love has anything 47 00:02:47,280 --> 00:02:50,359 Speaker 1: to do with this. I do think lust is all 48 00:02:50,440 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: over this situation, though, I do. And instead of and 49 00:02:56,080 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 1: would you say, Steve, that was Thomas Good? Oh oh oh, sorry, 50 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:04,440 Speaker 1: I thought it was. Yeah, I don't. I don't say 51 00:03:04,480 --> 00:03:07,960 Speaker 1: stupid stuff out of nowhere, Okay, okay, And you're right 52 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 1: about that. And I should have known better, because I 53 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:14,520 Speaker 1: do know you. You know you. You talked in the 54 00:03:14,520 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 1: beginning of your letter how you grew tired, you decided 55 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,240 Speaker 1: you wouldn't have sex again, you started losing hope and 56 00:03:20,360 --> 00:03:22,720 Speaker 1: finding love, and then you met this great man, the 57 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,600 Speaker 1: man of your dreams, and six months into your marriage, 58 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 1: you've already cheated on him. Instead of trying to fix 59 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: your new marriage and fight for it, you haven't done 60 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:34,120 Speaker 1: that at all. I mean, I think you've checked out, 61 00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: You've moved on just six months in. Uh. I think 62 00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,960 Speaker 1: you're falling for the grass is always greener trap and 63 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,360 Speaker 1: not once, did you say you tried to, you know, 64 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,040 Speaker 1: talk to your husband about what you like, you know, 65 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 1: maybe he could do something better. And then wait a minute, 66 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: you did say you prayed, you practice celibacy, and your 67 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:57,400 Speaker 1: husband loves the Lord, so I would think that you 68 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: would honor your marriage vows since you're the one that 69 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,880 Speaker 1: brought the Lord into it. I don't know. This letter 70 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,200 Speaker 1: doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I want 71 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: to tell you to leave your number two alone and 72 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,839 Speaker 1: try to work on your number one right now, since 73 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:13,400 Speaker 1: it's only been six months into it. But I don't 74 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,800 Speaker 1: think you're gonna listen at this point. I just don't 75 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: think so. Um Steve M. I'm sure as I don't 76 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:29,599 Speaker 1: think she's gonna listen what she wants. Yeah, and I 77 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:32,360 Speaker 1: understand what you said. I think you make valid points 78 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 1: in here too. The number two will never be number one. 79 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:39,080 Speaker 1: Let me help you out with something you said. Let's 80 00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:42,040 Speaker 1: start with the letter. Steve says number twos will never 81 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,479 Speaker 1: be number one. So I want your opinion on my situation. 82 00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:48,520 Speaker 1: What if this time that's an exception to the rule. 83 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 1: Could this be true? Love, I said me, and don't 84 00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:59,719 Speaker 1: make their number twos when they have a number one. 85 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: If a guy has a solid his ride to die 86 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: and that's what he called it, hub and then he 87 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,960 Speaker 1: got a chick on the side, and your number two. 88 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: We don't promote number twos to number one because you 89 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: ain't considered ride to die. That's what the situation is. 90 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:27,320 Speaker 1: So now this is a different situation because you're married. 91 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:32,880 Speaker 1: You're supposed to be your husband's number one, and your 92 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:36,520 Speaker 1: husband is supposed to be YO number one. But now 93 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:41,159 Speaker 1: you are a woman wanting to promote YO number two 94 00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: to the number one position, and that's what you're wanting 95 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:50,839 Speaker 1: to do. This is rare very. Let me walk you 96 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:54,080 Speaker 1: through some contradictions in this letter before I give you 97 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: what I want to say. You didn't have sex to use. 98 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: Married thirty four, your old woman found this man. He's 99 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:03,359 Speaker 1: man of your dreams. He's handsome, educated, gainfully employed, and 100 00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:11,240 Speaker 1: he loves the Lord. You did not mention how much 101 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 1: you love the Lord. Brought him up though, Yeah, but 102 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 1: he loves the Lord. You ain't say nothing about you. 103 00:06:22,040 --> 00:06:24,360 Speaker 1: I feel half for this man, and a year after 104 00:06:24,440 --> 00:06:26,719 Speaker 1: we met we got married. I was so excited from 105 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 1: my wed night because if we our first time making love, 106 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 1: he's blessed with the proper equipment, but it's his skill 107 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 1: set that's lacking. Oh so you took a year off 108 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,679 Speaker 1: still had joe skills, So what are we really talking 109 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:45,960 Speaker 1: about him? All right? Hold on, Steve, Yeah, Part two 110 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 1: of Steve's response is coming up at twenty three minutes after. 111 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:51,440 Speaker 1: Number two will never be number one is the subject. 112 00:06:51,440 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: We'll be back right after this you're listening to, all right, 113 00:06:56,800 --> 00:07:00,679 Speaker 1: Come on, Steve, let's recap today's strawberry letter object number 114 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:04,400 Speaker 1: two will never be number one. This is an interesting 115 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 1: letter about this woman who states that Steve says that 116 00:07:07,920 --> 00:07:10,240 Speaker 1: the number two will never be number one. So I 117 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:15,640 Speaker 1: won't opinion on my situation. What is this? What if 118 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,360 Speaker 1: this time there's an exception to the rule. Could this 119 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 1: be true love? I'm gonna get to this part quickly. 120 00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,960 Speaker 1: But first of all, she married this guy, a man 121 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 1: of her dreams, everything. She's been sellibate for a year 122 00:07:25,840 --> 00:07:28,600 Speaker 1: and a half. She didn't have sex to her wedding night. 123 00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 1: She was so excited about the sex. She felt hard 124 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 1: for the man. They made love. He got the right equipment, 125 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,840 Speaker 1: but his skill said, it's lacking. Our wedding night, I 126 00:07:39,040 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 1: had the absolute worst sexual experience I ever had. It 127 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: was four minutes from start to finish. And so he 128 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:54,400 Speaker 1: didn't got you undressed, took all them buttons off that 129 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:59,760 Speaker 1: wedding dress, got all them guards down and highs and 130 00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: all that, and unsnapped all of him strengths and got 131 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:10,800 Speaker 1: all that stuff unstrapped, and got them clips wedding dresses 132 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: to have about four or five pieces to it. Who 133 00:08:15,400 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 1: and then right after that it was over in four minutes, 134 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,320 Speaker 1: and he passed out and slept like he has showed 135 00:08:23,320 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 1: out to him he did. Now he'd asked sex in 136 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,600 Speaker 1: a year and a half either, So come on, now, 137 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:36,439 Speaker 1: this a lot of it's a lot. So the first time, 138 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:39,559 Speaker 1: maybe he didn't do right, but I guess he continued 139 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 1: that way because since then he's been overly confident. He's 140 00:08:43,559 --> 00:08:46,319 Speaker 1: not as attentive and a loving as he was when 141 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: you met. So other words, I'm assuming you're saying that 142 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:53,720 Speaker 1: he's become ericant for some reason, that maybe he think 143 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:56,200 Speaker 1: he all that because you ain't looking upside his head 144 00:08:56,280 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: the right way. You know this four minutes. You need 145 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: to stop before we get the excuse me, excuse me, 146 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:07,520 Speaker 1: excuse me? Can I get more than fault today what 147 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 1: we're doing. Can we do eight? Let's get a clock. 148 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:14,440 Speaker 1: You need a timer on the night stand, hit a 149 00:09:14,520 --> 00:09:17,120 Speaker 1: thing like a chess clock, and he needs I need 150 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,839 Speaker 1: eight from you tonight. Let's work. Let's beat last night. 151 00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:22,800 Speaker 1: We need twelve. But he ain't been given a teeth. 152 00:09:23,360 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 1: So you ran into an old college for it had 153 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:29,600 Speaker 1: some dinner work done. So that means before in college 154 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 1: he had a ragged ass mouth. But now he didn't 155 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,120 Speaker 1: got this dinner work done. And he's made a world 156 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: of difference. He said when he got married and broke 157 00:09:37,640 --> 00:09:39,600 Speaker 1: his heart, he always had a big crush on me. 158 00:09:39,760 --> 00:09:42,160 Speaker 1: But he didn't think I'd give him the time of day. Well, hell, 159 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:43,960 Speaker 1: he knew he wasn't. He had a ragged ass mouth. 160 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 1: He knew, well he knew, he knew the girl wasn't 161 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:52,520 Speaker 1: gonna give him time a day. You got ragged ass mouth. 162 00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 1: Raggedy mouth fans me and no they ain't got no 163 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:58,560 Speaker 1: you know your teeth is they gonna see your teeth? 164 00:09:58,840 --> 00:10:01,880 Speaker 1: Hard to hide your teeth. We you're talking, can't laugh 165 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,959 Speaker 1: with bad teeth, and you can't even have a good 166 00:10:04,960 --> 00:10:08,320 Speaker 1: sense of human You got ragged ass mouth. So then 167 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 1: well I've given him a lot more than that. I'm 168 00:10:11,280 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: falling for this man because he's given me his whole heart. 169 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: He holds me after sex, kisses my nose, looks into 170 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,000 Speaker 1: my soul when he talks to me. I'm ready to 171 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:24,559 Speaker 1: get the voice and date my boyfriend, and date my 172 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,120 Speaker 1: boyfriend a while. I want to be happy, and so 173 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 1: far this guy could be my soul mate. Steve says, 174 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:32,120 Speaker 1: it's number two, will never be number one. So I 175 00:10:32,160 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 1: want your opinion on this situation. What if this time 176 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,920 Speaker 1: there's an exception to the rule. Could this be true love? 177 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 1: All right? Here's my answer. It could be you may 178 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:45,800 Speaker 1: have married a person that's not your soul mate. It 179 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,520 Speaker 1: happens all the time. Sometime it take a minute to 180 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: find your soul mate. Sometime it take more than one time. 181 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:59,960 Speaker 1: Help me Jesus through this letter. I think it's maybe 182 00:11:00,280 --> 00:11:04,120 Speaker 1: a marriage. I think she may have realized she made 183 00:11:04,120 --> 00:11:07,520 Speaker 1: a mistake. I think this. Once you got to live 184 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 1: in with a guy and sleeping with a guy, you 185 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,920 Speaker 1: discover some things that might not be changeable. Now you 186 00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:17,120 Speaker 1: can go to counseling, But you got to be in 187 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,520 Speaker 1: love with this man. If you're not in love with 188 00:11:19,600 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: a person, that ain't gonna work. Tina Turner said, whoa. 189 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,640 Speaker 1: Of course love got to do with it. She got 190 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 1: to do for him. Well, fel hard and stayed falling 191 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:36,280 Speaker 1: the two different things. I feel. I fel hard for 192 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: a whole lot of people in my life. Got my 193 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: ass right back up though, too. Yeah, I'm fel hard 194 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: for a whole lot of damn people. Got my ass 195 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:50,520 Speaker 1: right on back up? Let me stop. You marry them though? 196 00:11:51,240 --> 00:11:53,960 Speaker 1: Did you marry them though? I'm on my third man, 197 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,120 Speaker 1: a whole lot of people. You haven't had a whole 198 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:02,200 Speaker 1: lot of marriage. No, I ain't got I ain't married 199 00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 1: everybody I fell for. I failed for three women because 200 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:10,640 Speaker 1: they had apartments. I was homeless. If I've got a 201 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,560 Speaker 1: girl at the club, yeah, when I was homeless, I 202 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:14,520 Speaker 1: met a girl at the comedy club. I was in 203 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:17,800 Speaker 1: love with her that night, felt hard for her. Love 204 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 1: at first sight, first sight, at first I love you 205 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,559 Speaker 1: as soon as I heard her. She has some keys jangly, Hey, 206 00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:29,360 Speaker 1: who is the keys too? She said? My apartment apartment 207 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: A dope, You've got a bath room, that room, a kitchen. Girl, 208 00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: So yeah, it could be. And you may have married 209 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 1: the wrong person, but only you can know that I 210 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: don't tell people to stay in marriages. It ain't good 211 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,800 Speaker 1: counsel ain't gonna save all of them. Sometimes you made 212 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:57,600 Speaker 1: a mistake, you gotta eat the mistake, Sona. It is 213 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:00,560 Speaker 1: an exception to the rule. He could be You could 214 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:03,320 Speaker 1: be wrong about this one too. I'm mow my third 215 00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:06,800 Speaker 1: all right, Thank you, Steve. Coming up next, it is 216 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,760 Speaker 1: Junior with sports Talks when we get back in forty 217 00:13:09,840 --> 00:13:13,400 Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour. Right after this, you're listening 218 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,480 Speaker 1: to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.