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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, This is Katie Lows. I am freaking excited.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the first ever episode of Katie's Crib. So

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Speaker 1: the title of this podcast, you guys, says it all.

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Speaker 1: We are talking about raising a baby who's in his

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Speaker 1: crib right here, direct from my crib. So our goal here,

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Speaker 1: so you know, is to create a space for honest,

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Speaker 1: sometimes super messy conversations about being a new parent. F

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Speaker 1: y I, this is not a how to guide. We're

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Speaker 1: not here to offer clear cut solutions or tell you

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Speaker 1: how things should be done. This Katie's Crib is an

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Speaker 1: open forum of opinions that are all valid. We're here

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Speaker 1: to talk about, share experiences, and figure out this whole

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Speaker 1: thing together. So on this episode, I'm very excited. We

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Speaker 1: are going to enter the world of Doulah's. Dulas have

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Speaker 1: been around for ages, but more and more moms to

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Speaker 1: be are turning to them for help as they approach childbirth.

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Speaker 1: So what is adula, what do they do? What is

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Speaker 1: it like to have one? We've got some answers for you.

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Speaker 1: First off, I'm talking to Rebecca Bennon Natty, who was

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Speaker 1: my duela. She's the owner of Wellborn Lifestyle and Dula

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Speaker 1: services by Rebecca in l A. Then after we talked

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Speaker 1: to Rebecca, we're going to be talking to my dear

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Speaker 1: friend Jennifer Finnigan. She's going to join me to talk

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Speaker 1: about her experiences with her dula before and after the

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Speaker 1: birth of her daughter Ella Jack. Oh. One more thing.

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Speaker 1: We're recording this in my house, so you're gonna hear

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Speaker 1: I'll be crying. You're going to hear the lawnmower. You're

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Speaker 1: gonna hear my dog, Roger barking. You're gonna hear it

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Speaker 1: all in the background. So I guess all I can

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Speaker 1: say is welcome to my world, everybody. I'm really excited

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Speaker 1: because we have a Dula here, Adula, who I think

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Speaker 1: is the best Dulah Los Angeles, but I'm really biased

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Speaker 1: because she was my Duela. This is the wonderful Rebecca,

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Speaker 1: Ben and Natty Um, And we're going to get into

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Speaker 1: a bunch of things about two doulah or not to

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Speaker 1: doula and what that means to you. Um. I wanted

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Speaker 1: a doula because I had never had a baby before.

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Speaker 1: I was petrified about labor, just absolutely completely horrified. And

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Speaker 1: I knew I had heard these stories about Oh, you know,

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Speaker 1: nurses can come and go on a shift during your labor. Um,

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Speaker 1: my husband and I just really thought to have one

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Speaker 1: advocate in the room with us who was just going

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Speaker 1: to be assigned to us for the entire length of

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Speaker 1: the labor, however long or short, that that maybe would

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Speaker 1: be something that would be great to have. I also

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Speaker 1: was very interested in laboring at home for as long

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Speaker 1: as I could until I had to go to the hospital.

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Speaker 1: And I just had an image of Adam and I

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Speaker 1: running around my house completely freaking out if I went

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Speaker 1: into labor, googling how long these contractions were going and

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Speaker 1: what the heck am I doing? And I'm having a

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Speaker 1: panic attack. And I thought, Hey, how great would it

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Speaker 1: be to have a duela come to my house for

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Speaker 1: the beginning stages of labor and just tell me that

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Speaker 1: this was normal and tell me that this was okay. Um,

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Speaker 1: that is not how my labor ended up going, because guys, uh,

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Speaker 1: I think labor, Your labor is never what you expected

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Speaker 1: to be. This is Rebecca. She helped me with my labor.

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Speaker 1: What is a duela because it is a lot of things.

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Speaker 1: So the word dulah is a Greek wordin the ancient

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Speaker 1: Greek meaning is to be a slave to a woman, uh,

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Speaker 1: to a pregnant woman, and isn't that crazy to be

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Speaker 1: a servant. To be a servant more modern day is

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Speaker 1: like a just an overall caretaker to an expectant woman

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Speaker 1: and her family. UM. So you know that's there's so

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Speaker 1: many ways to describe really what a duela is and

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Speaker 1: what it means. A duela does everything in her power

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Speaker 1: to help an expectant mom feel safe, nurtured, protected, um

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Speaker 1: and um able to completely be primal and welcomeing all

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Speaker 1: of that and empowered. UM. So that means so many things.

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Speaker 1: That means that the job entails the longest list ever

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Speaker 1: because every expected woman needs whatever she needs. So you

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Speaker 1: could you could have a client who needs more verbal

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Speaker 1: coaching and really doesn't like physical touch. You could have

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Speaker 1: somebody that doesn't really want to do a lot of

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Speaker 1: different position changes. Maybe she's gained a lot of weight,

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Speaker 1: or she's just uncomfortable in her body, or maybe she

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Speaker 1: didn't start her pregnancy with an active lifestyle, so she

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Speaker 1: may want to be more sedentary during her labor UM

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Speaker 1: so you have to sort of learn how to work

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Speaker 1: with that. UM. Massage, breathing, breathing techniques. So so the

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Speaker 1: job of adula is so many different things. So that's

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Speaker 1: what the word means slave. You guys want the heck

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Speaker 1: servant service. Yeah, the way you know, the way I

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Speaker 1: drives around like a long time ago, a long time ago.

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Speaker 1: If you think about it, women have always been birth

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Speaker 1: around other women. It's very primal, very tribal. Men would

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Speaker 1: step out and the women would all gather to be

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Speaker 1: of support. The men were not around to to coach.

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Speaker 1: You know, bringing men into the labor and delivery room

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Speaker 1: is still somewhat new. Um. And uh, you know, Psycho

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Speaker 1: wasn't even like our grandparents. That didn't happen. I don't think. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and you know, psychologically, Um, of course we want our

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Speaker 1: partners there because they are it's their child. You made

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Speaker 1: this child together, You're going to parents this child together. Um.

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Speaker 1: And and I think the best thing about having a

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Speaker 1: doula is that we we really want to embrace the

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Speaker 1: partner into the experience. We want to help them feel

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Speaker 1: so empowered also, um, that they've done something, and that

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Speaker 1: even if their job in the room is to continuously

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Speaker 1: feed the expectant mom ice chips and give them water,

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Speaker 1: that's important. That is a huge important job. And um,

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Speaker 1: if their job is wedding, the cold wash clause for

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Speaker 1: me to put on the mom's forehead, that's a huge

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Speaker 1: important job because I don't want to go one second

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Speaker 1: without a cold wash cloth and they get warm quickly.

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Speaker 1: So you know, there's a lot, a lot of ways

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Speaker 1: that dula's help incorporate the part where into feelings, whether

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Speaker 1: it's yeah, the partners are sometimes the mothers or mother

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Speaker 1: in laws. Of course. Um, how why are you a dula?

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Speaker 1: My sister asked me this recently, She said, are you

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Speaker 1: a dula because you just love babies? Is it's all

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Speaker 1: about the babies? And of course it's about the babies,

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Speaker 1: and for me sort of spiritually it's, Um, it's about

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Speaker 1: that moment that I get to watch a couple become

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Speaker 1: a family. It's gonna makes me cry. It makes me cry.

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Speaker 1: It makes me cry when I think about what I'm doing. Um,

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Speaker 1: of course it's I mean, you were literally there for

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Speaker 1: some For people's arguably one of the if not the most,

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Speaker 1: definitely one of the most important moments of their entire life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you know, I I tell my couples sometimes, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's an honor. I tell every couple it is an

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Speaker 1: honor to work with you, but it is the highest

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Speaker 1: honor to be asked to be at your birth. Because

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Speaker 1: you could invite as many people as you want to

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Speaker 1: your wedding, but you invite one person to your birth,

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Speaker 1: and I get to be that person. So um, it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's it's emotional to think of it like that, But really, truly,

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Speaker 1: when I see the mom see her baby for the

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Speaker 1: first time, and when I see the dad see his

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Speaker 1: baby for the first time, and I see them look

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Speaker 1: at each other in such fascination and in such awe

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Speaker 1: of what is now in their arms to caretake for

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Speaker 1: the rest of their lives, it's um, it's powerful. Why

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Speaker 1: how did you become Adula Um? Well, I have two kids.

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Speaker 1: I have a fourteen year old son and I have

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Speaker 1: an eleven year old daughter. And I had two amazing

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Speaker 1: births myself. They were very scary and very early, but

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Speaker 1: they were both amazing, and I was blessed to have

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Speaker 1: a doctor that was basically like Adula Um. She stayed

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Speaker 1: with me for my first birth for the entire thirty

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Speaker 1: six hours. So you guys know, the other thing about

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Speaker 1: a dula is that you know, your doctor, your ob

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Speaker 1: comes in and out, um, depending on what's going on

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Speaker 1: with your labor. But for example, you know, my O

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Speaker 1: B came in to administer the fully balloon, which was great,

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Speaker 1: and to give my first round of the drug that

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Speaker 1: that made me dilate. And then she came in and

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Speaker 1: kept calling and checking in, and then she came in

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Speaker 1: at the end when I started pushing. She's not there

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Speaker 1: the entire sixteen hours, Rebecca is so so that's amazing

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Speaker 1: that one of your you gave birth in your obi

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Speaker 1: was there the whole time, because that's unusual. It's very unusual.

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Speaker 1: And she was very much like Adula. I realized she

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Speaker 1: was doing the things that I now do. She was

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Speaker 1: doing pressure points on my trapezist muscles and muscles at

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Speaker 1: the top of the shoulder. She was rubbing my head,

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Speaker 1: stroking my hair, giving me water, helping we change position,

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Speaker 1: creatively wrapping sheets around the berthing bar to help me

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Speaker 1: support my body weight. Um and just with the most

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Speaker 1: soothing energy and this most soothing voice. Um. So she

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Speaker 1: inspired me to be a dolt um. And also, I

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Speaker 1: you know, I've been teaching yoga for a really long time.

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Speaker 1: I've been teaching pree prenatal yoga and um if anyone's

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Speaker 1: a pregnant mommy in Los Angeles, I have to give

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Speaker 1: a shout out to that class. It's the most what's

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Speaker 1: great about Rebecca ben Nati's Yoga Works Prenatal class on

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Speaker 1: Tuesdays and Thursdays at eleven I miss it terribly. I

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Speaker 1: took it for months leading up to the birth. And

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Speaker 1: what was great about it is the class. In the

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Speaker 1: class you practice how to push correctly, because I think

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Speaker 1: what I've learned since then is that people can injure

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Speaker 1: themselves a lot by not being prepared in that way.

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Speaker 1: And when it came to pushing, I knew exactly what

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Speaker 1: position to put my body in. I knew to leave

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Speaker 1: my face super relaxed. I knew how to breathe. I

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Speaker 1: knew how to focus and put all the energy towards

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Speaker 1: the bottom of my body and push in a way.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, I've been doing this for

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Speaker 1: months in class with Arecca. Okay, to keep going. So

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Speaker 1: you were a yoga teacher, which is or you are

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Speaker 1: yoga teacher, a yoga teacher and a massage therapist for

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Speaker 1: over twenty five years. I just said that out loud.

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Speaker 1: But yes, guys, she looks like a kid. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: I um so my background just really I had all

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Speaker 1: these skills that I had never really thought could lend

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Speaker 1: itself to being in the birth room. Um, in the

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Speaker 1: labor and delivery room. So um. After I had my daughter,

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Speaker 1: so I haven't a fourteen year old son and an

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Speaker 1: eleven year old daughter. And after I had my daughter,

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Speaker 1: about two years after, one of my prenatal yoga students

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Speaker 1: asked me if I would attend her birth and assist her,

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Speaker 1: and of course I said yes, before I had any

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Speaker 1: proper training to be in that position. Um. And then

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Speaker 1: I quickly went and did a training. Um. I did

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Speaker 1: my first training with the lovely Judy Chapman, who has

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Speaker 1: been teaching in Los Angeles at se DS for a

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Speaker 1: very long time. And um, so I did my first

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Speaker 1: training with her, and I went on to get trained

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Speaker 1: by Anna Paula Marquell, who is the owner, the amazing

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Speaker 1: owner of Binny Birth in Sherman Oaks. UM. And so

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Speaker 1: I realized in both of those trainings that I had

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Speaker 1: all these skills to go support women giving birth, and

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Speaker 1: so I just kept saying yes when people were asking

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Speaker 1: me to attend their birth, I said yes, and before

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Speaker 1: I knew it, I had a whole new second career,

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Speaker 1: third career, fourth career. I do so many different things

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Speaker 1: in health and fitness. But UM, as of date, I've

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Speaker 1: now attended about sixty five berths and UM it is

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Speaker 1: equally UM my full time job and UM and I

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Speaker 1: love it. Do you find your role to be as

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Speaker 1: important if someone is not laboring, if someone is having

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Speaker 1: a C section? Absolutely. When we first had our initial

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Speaker 1: meetings and you told me right up front that you

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Speaker 1: wanted that epidural, those initial meetings are are an opportunity

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Speaker 1: for me to make sure that the woman is not

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Speaker 1: setting herself up in any way that she's educated, but

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Speaker 1: that she's completely open to however birth is going to

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Speaker 1: go down, and we will talk about all the different possibility,

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Speaker 1: all the different scenarios, so that if it ends up

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Speaker 1: being a scheduled induction or even a schedule's cesarean birth,

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Speaker 1: that you are prepared, you're not afraid, and you know

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Speaker 1: I'm still going to be there. And I am sometimes

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Speaker 1: allowed in the surgery room for cesareans, so I can

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Speaker 1: be a continued support when I'm not allowed in I'm

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Speaker 1: there right before they go in and right which is yeah,

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Speaker 1: and immediately after they come out of the surgery to

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Speaker 1: assist in that transition afterwards. Um, so yes, I think

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Speaker 1: that my job is important for every every kind of birth.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll Dolers do this, but Adam

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Speaker 1: thinks this is the greatest thing that ever happened. So

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Speaker 1: you give birth in a birthing room and then you

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Speaker 1: have to move to a postpartum recovery post part and

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Speaker 1: recovery room. Sometimes that happens like a couple hours, an

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Speaker 1: hour after you've had the baby, and you have to

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Speaker 1: load all of your crap up that's that was in

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Speaker 1: the room, like your your luggage bags and all this stuff.

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Speaker 1: You've had it all in the labor delivery room. And

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Speaker 1: then all of a sudden they're like, hey, you've got

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Speaker 1: to move all your stuff to the the other room

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Speaker 1: you're going to be in. But you just had a

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Speaker 1: baby and you can't even walk, and like you like

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Speaker 1: your husband is meeting or your partner of any kind

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Speaker 1: of meeting your baby for the first time. In my case,

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Speaker 1: husband and Rebecca, thank god, is the only person with

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Speaker 1: her head attached, like gathered up our belongings and moved

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Speaker 1: it into that other room. And that is such a

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Speaker 1: small thing, but see that she's being in service to

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Speaker 1: the situation because I wouldn't have even known where half

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Speaker 1: our stuff, you know, like I had my phone charger

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Speaker 1: and my phone and you know, my toothbrush and my baggage,

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Speaker 1: you know, just stuff around the room. Not a ton

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Speaker 1: of stuff, but stuff. And you know, at Cedars, they

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Speaker 1: needed that room. So you know, an hour after I

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Speaker 1: had given birth to my kid, it's like We're being

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Speaker 1: hauled down a hallway to another room and Rebecca is

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Speaker 1: like loading up all of our stuff and putting it

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Speaker 1: in the new room. But like that was huge us.

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Speaker 1: You know, just things that Adam was like, could you

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Speaker 1: imagine if I had to have done stuff where he

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Speaker 1: was just sitting on the couch for the first time

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Speaker 1: ever putting our son on his chest. To not have

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Speaker 1: to worry about little things like that was just such

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Speaker 1: a incredible gift that I know not everyone gets to have,

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Speaker 1: but if if you can, I mean, it was just

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Speaker 1: so helpful. And I don't know if that's part of

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Speaker 1: the Duela package. I think probably most duelas help with that,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, I think so if you're in service to

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Speaker 1: the whole experience and then the duel you we had

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Speaker 1: two meetings after the birth. Um, so it's two meetings before,

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Speaker 1: two meetings before the day of the labor delivery, and

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Speaker 1: then one postpartum, is it? But fortunately for for us

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Speaker 1: suite or doing other things together, so we get just

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Speaker 1: the whole time we did. I say much about a

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Speaker 1: duela is like, you know, if something, Hey I just

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Speaker 1: got this report at my o BI, or hey I

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Speaker 1: just read this online and it kind of freaks me out.

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Speaker 1: I would send Rebecca a text or a call and

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Speaker 1: you would pick up the phone and call me, you know,

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Speaker 1: to to discuss, which was also very helpful. I want

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Speaker 1: to go back and just say one thing about the

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Speaker 1: different kinds of deliveries. Um, going back to talk about

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Speaker 1: what a duela does and whether adula is necessary for

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Speaker 1: every kind of birth experience, because UM, some really key

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Speaker 1: things in my career have been those moments where a

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Speaker 1: woman has been laboring for a very long period of

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Speaker 1: time and gets the information that she's going to have

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Speaker 1: to have a Cincerian birth, and um, she has to

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Speaker 1: decide whether she wants to keep going and trying it

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Speaker 1: the way she's been doing it, it's still safe and

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Speaker 1: and or go ahead and accept that she needs to

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Speaker 1: have a cesarean or that that is also an option.

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Speaker 1: And in that moment, that is where I think the

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Speaker 1: duela is the most important, the absolute most igory, because

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Speaker 1: you have to make an entire mental shift and emotional

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Speaker 1: shift and and it's a process of grieving um that

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Speaker 1: that you have to let go in such a short

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Speaker 1: period of time and reframe your mind. You're very hormonal

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Speaker 1: mind to now go in and have a birth completely

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Speaker 1: opposite of how you really wanted it to go. And

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Speaker 1: that's where I think duela is really um do. There's

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Speaker 1: a lot of very powerful work in helping the mom

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Speaker 1: recognize that she's still incredibly awesome, perfect, beautiful, strong, and

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Speaker 1: that her baby is coming out in the most beautiful way,

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Speaker 1: and that they're that the end result is all that matters.

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Speaker 1: That baby is going to be in her arms before

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Speaker 1: she knows it. And I assume that it's in the

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Speaker 1: same situation of a duela, like if she gets a

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Speaker 1: phone call in advance that like she her baby has breached,

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Speaker 1: or and she's she has to have a c section

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Speaker 1: for whatever reason, or placenta previa. You know. Another we

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Speaker 1: had a friend, um, you know, who was told by

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Speaker 1: her doctors that she had to have a C section,

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Speaker 1: and you worked with her too in similar ways get

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Speaker 1: her mind around, and we had that was the way

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Speaker 1: she was going to birth her baby, that's right, And

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Speaker 1: when she got that particular client got her information early on.

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Speaker 1: We also got a chance to have a real beautiful

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Speaker 1: ritual at their home the night before or a couple

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Speaker 1: of nights before. I think it was the night before,

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Speaker 1: and then woke up the next morning and met each

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Speaker 1: other at the hospital and full celebration that we were

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Speaker 1: going to have a birthday party, a scheduled birthday party.

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Speaker 1: And that was not what she expected. Um, but she

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Speaker 1: was ready and she showed up to the hospital. Um.

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Speaker 1: So there have been a lot of reported benefits to

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Speaker 1: having a duela, like less need for medications during childbirth,

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Speaker 1: maybe a shorter labor um, maybe less interventions are needed.

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Speaker 1: And have you seen that as evidence? Do you think

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Speaker 1: that that is true that I think that's true for sure.

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Speaker 1: I think it's true. I think it's true, and I

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Speaker 1: think for me personally, what I recognize in the statistics

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Speaker 1: of just my clients is when people come and take

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Speaker 1: my preinatal yoga class um. I really do see the

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Speaker 1: evidence there that they have been practicing all of the

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Speaker 1: same positions that are going to show up in labor.

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Speaker 1: They have been practicing breathing, They've been practicing squatting, they've

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Speaker 1: been practicing the timing of how it is to push

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Speaker 1: if you get to push, and and also the greatest

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Speaker 1: thing is that they have formed a sense of community

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Speaker 1: with other women. And so I think all of that

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Speaker 1: helps women have shorter, more comfortable, more easeful um, more

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Speaker 1: tolerable if you will labors and deliveries. I agree with you.

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Speaker 1: When I can be in the room with a client

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Speaker 1: and remind them of all the women in class that

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Speaker 1: are thinking of them and literally holding up the wall

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Speaker 1: doing squats um for them right now while they're in labor,

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Speaker 1: it's it's very soothing, very very comforting, and very empowering.

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Speaker 1: I agree. Is a dulla something that you see effects

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Speaker 1: of post labor? And I would say yes, because, like

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Speaker 1: I said previously, Rebecca packed all of our crap up

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Speaker 1: and moved into a different brood um and made stayed

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Speaker 1: with us for hours after the labor to to just

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Speaker 1: make sure that we were okay and that the room

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Speaker 1: was set up how we wanted to and that everything

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Speaker 1: was well and good. And then we had two meetings

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Speaker 1: after one meeting, one meeting after the labor where you

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Speaker 1: get to really look back and say, did it go,

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Speaker 1: how how you thought? What was it like? How are

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Speaker 1: you doing now? How do you feel? She really checked

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Speaker 1: in on my hormones and my postpartum experience, which is

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Speaker 1: something that I think a lot of people go into

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Speaker 1: thinking a lot about the labor, but post labor is

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Speaker 1: really what was so hard for me, which we will

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Speaker 1: also get into in um more episodes. But um so, yes,

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Speaker 1: dulas are super beneficial to after the labor experience, I

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Speaker 1: would say, yes. And the whole point in that postpartum

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Speaker 1: visit in the new family's home is to do exactly that,

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Speaker 1: to relive the birth story, to make sure that because

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Speaker 1: it happens, it's so powerful, it's so overwhelming, it's so

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Speaker 1: everything that it's also hard to remember every detail because

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Speaker 1: now you have this new little infant that you're trying

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Speaker 1: to figure out how to feed and care for and integrate.

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Speaker 1: Having slept in forever, yeah, you haven't slept in a

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Speaker 1: long time. Your body is recovering, your romans are still

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Speaker 1: out of whack, right, and so UM to sit with

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Speaker 1: your dula and talk about that birth story in detail

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Speaker 1: and great depth and detail, um is very empowering. And

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Speaker 1: it's also just a chance for them to go, oh

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Speaker 1: my gosh, look what I did. Oh my god, oh

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Speaker 1: my god. There's a lot of oh my gosh. And

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Speaker 1: the post part of visit yeah so much. What do

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Speaker 1: you think are people's misconceptions about Dula's um First, that

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Speaker 1: duels will only do work for home births. I oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that makes sense when I talked to strangers that don't

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Speaker 1: know what I Yeah, I remember calling on being like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I'm an hire a duel, and maybe she'd be like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, are you're not going to a hospital, which,

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Speaker 1: by the way, like however people wanted you know, I'm however,

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Speaker 1: you see your birth is how you should have your birth.

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Speaker 1: But um, you're right. My My extended family was very

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Speaker 1: confused that I was mixing maybe something that might be

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Speaker 1: more Eastern and you know, to them, something that's a

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Speaker 1: little bit more like out there in super l A

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Speaker 1: to have a duela in a hospital which is super Western,

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Speaker 1: and that I was going to use some I was

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Speaker 1: wanting to use medical intervention at some point, and I

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Speaker 1: was mixing both. Um. Yeah, that is one misconception is

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Speaker 1: for sure that we only do home births. Dual is

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Speaker 1: only do home birth That's not true, um. And the

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00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,280
Speaker 1: other one is that we only work with clients that

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Speaker 1: really want to try for a natural vaginal birth. And

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Speaker 1: that's not true either. Hey, guys, welcome. I was not

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Speaker 1: that at all. Yeah. And another, oh, another unfortunate misconception

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Speaker 1: is that the role of a duela completely wipes out

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Speaker 1: all things that a partner could do to support um,

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Speaker 1: their wife in the process, and that they are kind

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Speaker 1: of chipping the other parent of the experience to support. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I remember that. I remember in our first I think

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Speaker 1: our interview with you, which is by by way, but

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Speaker 1: by the way, guys, excuse me, um, I'm a new

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Speaker 1: mom on you sleep, um that when we first interviewed you.

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Speaker 1: I think one of Adam's biggest questions for you was

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Speaker 1: where do I fit in? And am I just going

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Speaker 1: to be a third wheel to this experien oriends, because

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Speaker 1: I think that was something that he was super freaked

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Speaker 1: out about. Yeah, I think he did ask me where

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Speaker 1: he fits in. And I think I turned it back

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Speaker 1: and said, well, we've have to establish first where I

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Speaker 1: fit in, because I'm coming into your birth both of you. Um,

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Speaker 1: it's not where you fit in as your child is

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Speaker 1: being born. So um, yeah, for sure. Dulas are not

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Speaker 1: there to take away from anybody's experience, either parents experience,

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Speaker 1: but in fact to enhance it, to make it better,

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Speaker 1: to make it more comfortable, to make it more relaxed,

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Speaker 1: to make it more serene, and even make it more

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Speaker 1: spiritual if that's the route they want to go. Um.

428
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:38,080
Speaker 1: So do you think having a doula is a good

429
00:23:38,119 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 1: fit for all expecting mothers? Yeah? I need to, Yeah

430
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: for sure. I mean if you just think of how

431
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: it feels to get support and love and a little

432
00:23:50,359 --> 00:23:54,760
Speaker 1: tender loving care just when we're on our periods. I know,

433
00:23:55,960 --> 00:24:00,880
Speaker 1: think of that times a Basilian and who doesn't need

434
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:04,000
Speaker 1: a little bit a lot of support and love and

435
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:08,480
Speaker 1: tender loving care and attention and nurturing um and all

436
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,880
Speaker 1: eyes and all hands on when you're doing this massive

437
00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 1: job giving birth. Yeah, yeah, that makes a lot of

438
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: sense to me. Um, for Duela's out there or people

439
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: that are listening to this and are maybe inspired to

440
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 1: become a duela. Um. First, I will just say that

441
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 1: it is the greatest job ever. There's nothing more rewarding

442
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 1: and more empowering and nothing more fulfilling than helping a

443
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 1: new family be born. Um. But I will also say

444
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:42,159
Speaker 1: that it is very physically taxing, so consider that. And

445
00:24:42,200 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 1: you're not sleeping either, Well, like I get sleep, I'm

446
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,479
Speaker 1: really good at dropping into sleep. I'm really good at

447
00:24:47,480 --> 00:24:50,760
Speaker 1: taking quick naps at the hospital. And my family knows.

448
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 1: I certainly go home and can cozy up in my

449
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,960
Speaker 1: bed and fall right back asleep to recover and restore.

450
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 1: But um, I think I'm hoping that people will listen

451
00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: to of this and be inspired to be a duela.

452
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:03,879
Speaker 1: And if you don't want to take it on as

453
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 1: a full on job career, but you have the opportunity

454
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:10,399
Speaker 1: to assist somebody that you love, that you care for,

455
00:25:10,480 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: whether it's a girlfriend or a cousin or a sister

456
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: in their birth do it. Um, do it, and you

457
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: can still call yourself, you know, a doulah. You're being

458
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,840
Speaker 1: in service, you're being of service your your caretaking, and

459
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:29,639
Speaker 1: you're helping their experience be nice. People used to have

460
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:33,880
Speaker 1: babies and they were surrounded by their moms, their cousins,

461
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:36,159
Speaker 1: their aunts, their uncles. And that's saying it takes a

462
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:38,359
Speaker 1: village to raise a child, and it takes a village

463
00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:41,600
Speaker 1: to bring a life into the world and take care

464
00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 1: of him or her. And we live in a day

465
00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 1: and age where that's just not the case anymore. Um,

466
00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:52,440
Speaker 1: And you can pay for that experience, and and so

467
00:25:52,600 --> 00:25:55,840
Speaker 1: I think you know that to me was huge. I

468
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,840
Speaker 1: wanted to be taken care of and helped. And I

469
00:25:58,920 --> 00:26:01,199
Speaker 1: knew that Adam and I were about to embark on

470
00:26:01,240 --> 00:26:03,960
Speaker 1: this huge thing that we had never done before. And

471
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,159
Speaker 1: how what a wonderful thing it would be to have

472
00:26:06,240 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: somebody in the room that was just for us, just

473
00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 1: to be part of our experience, that had done this

474
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,600
Speaker 1: a lot more than we had, and that could help

475
00:26:15,680 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 1: us through the process. And UM, I just I you

476
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:27,000
Speaker 1: will be there if I have another Childcaty will be there. Um.

477
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: You know, as you're as I'm listening to you, I'm thinking,

478
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:33,479
Speaker 1: who doesn't need a duela? Like what type of person

479
00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 1: or what couple or who decides not to get a

480
00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:41,000
Speaker 1: duela if they know it's an option. And I think that, Um,

481
00:26:41,440 --> 00:26:43,440
Speaker 1: what I want to say is First of all, there

482
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,560
Speaker 1: are a lot of duelas and dulas that will um

483
00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:50,879
Speaker 1: do it to strictly be of service, just to to

484
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,800
Speaker 1: be in that experience. So it is not about a

485
00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,720
Speaker 1: financial obligation. I want to make sure that that is

486
00:26:56,920 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: very clear. But also, um, you know, if you know yourself,

487
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: women out there, if you know yourself and you know

488
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: that you just do not want this to be anything

489
00:27:07,600 --> 00:27:10,840
Speaker 1: other than an experience for you and your partner, that

490
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:14,120
Speaker 1: is fine. That is completely fine. And you can still

491
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,880
Speaker 1: have a doula. You can hire somebody to help you,

492
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 1: to coach you a couple of sessions before your due date.

493
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,280
Speaker 1: You could have somebody come two or three times if

494
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:25,840
Speaker 1: you wanted some support to get you guys ready to

495
00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,640
Speaker 1: go into your labor and delivery. Like her, your packing

496
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:31,520
Speaker 1: list was like amazing, like like Rebecca was the person

497
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,360
Speaker 1: who sent me exactly want to bring to the hospital,

498
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:35,640
Speaker 1: like things like that, those are here. There's a lot

499
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: of ways to support if even if you don't want

500
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 1: somebody to be in the actual room with you and

501
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 1: you want that strictly to be for you and your partner. Um,

502
00:27:43,600 --> 00:27:45,679
Speaker 1: And I've done that. I've done that, and I do

503
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,480
Speaker 1: a lot of tech support as you know UM texting

504
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:52,479
Speaker 1: and texting constantly texting support and ideas and suggestions of

505
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 1: what to do UM and also want to make a

506
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,239
Speaker 1: big shout out for postpartum dulas because postpartum dulas are

507
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,679
Speaker 1: separate than birth. The duel is and postpartum duels are

508
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:08,160
Speaker 1: also separate. Then night nurses UM postpartum juels are hired

509
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: more hour to hour and they are there to care

510
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 1: for the mom, so it's continued care for the mom.

511
00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: Obviously they'll help take care of the baby as well,

512
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:19,920
Speaker 1: but they will go to the home and make sure

513
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 1: that the brand new family has plenty of nutrition, plenty

514
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 1: of hydration and if possible sleep, UM and just really

515
00:28:29,280 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: helps set up the home so that when the family

516
00:28:31,480 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 1: comes home and is in real shock that you're in

517
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,080
Speaker 1: this very familiar place, but now you have this unfamiliar

518
00:28:37,160 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 1: person to enter into your sacred space. How to navigate

519
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 1: in your home with this new little one and figure

520
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:46,080
Speaker 1: out where you're comfortable sitting for breastfeeding and how to

521
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:49,080
Speaker 1: breastfeed and what you have in your own home to

522
00:28:49,240 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 1: use to be comfortable sitting around and breastfeeding, laying around

523
00:28:52,280 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 1: and breastfeeding UM and postpartum juel is also really help

524
00:28:56,840 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 1: partners understand how they can support their new mothers of

525
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: their child um with nutrition and sleep and taking turns

526
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:10,200
Speaker 1: caring for baby. Do you find that when someone's hiring

527
00:29:10,200 --> 00:29:14,280
Speaker 1: a duela, let's say, and meeting with duelas and because guys,

528
00:29:14,320 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 1: you can, I only met with one dula and she's

529
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 1: sitting right here. But I do have friends who interviewed

530
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,920
Speaker 1: a few duelas and would come to them with questions,

531
00:29:24,400 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 1: UM to figure out if this might be if a

532
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 1: having a duel at all would be a good fit,

533
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,280
Speaker 1: which I think you've spoken at length about, or that

534
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:34,360
Speaker 1: this particular person is the duela for me. What would

535
00:29:34,400 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: you suggest people ask, um, well, the people they're interviewing. Yeah,

536
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: the questions that I get asked are how many births

537
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: have I attended? So I think most couples want to

538
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:49,040
Speaker 1: hire somebody with some experience. UM that said, I, UM,

539
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: I helped my mentor Anna Paula at been bitty birth.

540
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 1: I help her train duelas, and you know a lot

541
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:58,240
Speaker 1: of times in those dula trainings, the question is how

542
00:29:58,280 --> 00:29:59,920
Speaker 1: do I get my first job if I don't have

543
00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: any experience? So, UM, I know that people who want

544
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 1: to be Dula's um really have a big heart. They're

545
00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 1: really wanting to go and put their time and energy

546
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: and and be completely selfless. Uh. So, you know, if

547
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,520
Speaker 1: you really click with the person and they don't have

548
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,400
Speaker 1: a lot of experience, but you like their vibe, you

549
00:30:23,520 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 1: sit with them and you feel comfortable. You sit with them,

550
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:29,200
Speaker 1: you feel relaxed, You sit with them and you notice

551
00:30:29,240 --> 00:30:32,560
Speaker 1: you're catching your breath. You sit with them and you you, um,

552
00:30:32,800 --> 00:30:35,200
Speaker 1: maybe even feel like you know what, Yeah, I want

553
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,600
Speaker 1: to actually I want this new Dula and I want

554
00:30:38,640 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 1: to be of service to her and let her have

555
00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,480
Speaker 1: her first experience. There's people out there that would be

556
00:30:43,480 --> 00:30:46,680
Speaker 1: fine with that. I think we have to, um definitely

557
00:30:46,720 --> 00:30:49,280
Speaker 1: be open. So so that's the first thing that I

558
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,960
Speaker 1: always get is how many births have I attended? UM?

559
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:54,479
Speaker 1: The other one that I hear is do I have

560
00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 1: my own kids? Another thing that I don't think is

561
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: that important or a duela to have under her belt.

562
00:31:01,040 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: Uh pardon the pun, but certainly, you know, we understand

563
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 1: better if we've been through the experience. But that doesn't

564
00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,640
Speaker 1: mean that every duela out there isn't a great duela

565
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,920
Speaker 1: if they haven't had their own children. UM. So that's

566
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,840
Speaker 1: another question that I get. UM. Another another really big

567
00:31:20,920 --> 00:31:23,600
Speaker 1: question is one of the things that Adam said, which

568
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,160
Speaker 1: is what is my role or what you know? Where

569
00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:28,480
Speaker 1: do I fit into this? And so a lot of

570
00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,760
Speaker 1: times that's a question from the partners, like, you know,

571
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:33,800
Speaker 1: how how do you work with me? If you're helping

572
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:35,280
Speaker 1: her and I want to help her, how are you

573
00:31:35,320 --> 00:31:38,360
Speaker 1: going to work with me? Um? What are questions do

574
00:31:38,400 --> 00:31:41,120
Speaker 1: you think people should be asking? I think those are

575
00:31:41,160 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: all great questions, and I think, UM, here's a funny

576
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:48,120
Speaker 1: question that I got recently. I guess in the last

577
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 1: two years, I've been getting this question a lot, and

578
00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:53,440
Speaker 1: that is UM. And I understand the question fully, I

579
00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 1: understand where it comes from, but it's really hard to answer.

580
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 1: So the question that I get a lot is what

581
00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:05,560
Speaker 1: is my pilosophy of birth? I don't have a philosophy

582
00:32:05,560 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 1: of birth because it's not my birth. I don't even

583
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: have I don't have any aspectations, no agenda, no nothing.

584
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:20,040
Speaker 1: I show up completely open, ready for anything. And so

585
00:32:20,240 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: my philosophy of childbirth is whatever the mother's philosophy is,

586
00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: and that can be ever changing, it can be what

587
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:29,920
Speaker 1: it is in the moment, and she can change your

588
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,000
Speaker 1: mind five minutes later, and she can change your mind

589
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,480
Speaker 1: when she's seven cents, and she can change it again

590
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,360
Speaker 1: when it's time to push. I'm not there with a philosophy. UM.

591
00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:42,720
Speaker 1: If anything, if there's any sort of moral standard for myself,

592
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,240
Speaker 1: that is that I show up completely open and that

593
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:48,720
Speaker 1: my clients feel like they can tell me anything, ask

594
00:32:48,800 --> 00:32:51,960
Speaker 1: me anything, UM, and that they know they can trust

595
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 1: me and that and I know, for me, if I

596
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 1: don't have the answer, I'm so blessed to have a

597
00:32:57,320 --> 00:33:00,320
Speaker 1: wonderful O. B. G U I N friend um Dr

598
00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:04,000
Speaker 1: gilberg Lenz who is always available to me for any

599
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 1: support that I need, and also my mentor Anna Paula

600
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:10,000
Speaker 1: available if I don't know what to do. So UM,

601
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:16,040
Speaker 1: you know my philosophy is setting up trust. UM. Rebecca Beninatti,

602
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: you are a gift and a love and I love

603
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: you very much and thank you so much for being

604
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 1: on Katie's crib. I'm so excited that you're doing this.

605
00:33:25,800 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 1: I think you know you have so much to share

606
00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,720
Speaker 1: in your mind. You're on this side of it. Guys,

607
00:33:31,800 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 1: guess what. Don't know what I'm doing, but I'm figuring

608
00:33:34,360 --> 00:33:36,600
Speaker 1: it out with you, and we are going to have

609
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:42,080
Speaker 1: um awesome guests and just providing different opinions and different

610
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:47,320
Speaker 1: versions of pregnancy and motherhood and all of this. Mushagas

611
00:33:47,480 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: is a word that I like to use um about

612
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: this whole thing, because I don't know what the heck

613
00:33:52,360 --> 00:33:55,280
Speaker 1: I'm doing, and I'm figuring it out as I go. Um,

614
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 1: and I have just been able to collect a lot

615
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,720
Speaker 1: of information along the way that I would love to

616
00:33:59,720 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: share with you guys, and here what you think. So

617
00:34:02,240 --> 00:34:05,200
Speaker 1: thank you very much for being a part of my

618
00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:10,239
Speaker 1: experience and uh, Katie's crib coming at you. Thank you

619
00:34:10,320 --> 00:34:22,600
Speaker 1: and Becca. Next up, I'm gonna be chatting with my girl,

620
00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: Jen Finnigan. You might know her from f X is Tyrant.

621
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:29,680
Speaker 1: She's currently starring on CBS is Salvation and Jen gave

622
00:34:29,719 --> 00:34:32,080
Speaker 1: birth to her daughter like a week before I gave

623
00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,880
Speaker 1: birth to Albi, and she also used a doula. She

624
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 1: mentions her husband Johnny as in Johnny Silverman, also an

625
00:34:39,680 --> 00:34:42,080
Speaker 1: actor you might know, and he's super tight with Adam.

626
00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 1: I'm super type with Jen. Where basically it's just a

627
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 1: love fest over here. So let's get started. Um, So

628
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:59,600
Speaker 1: tell me about your labor and birth. So I came

629
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:03,879
Speaker 1: back to l A. It was almost eight months and then, Yeah,

630
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 1: I just felt like it was a sort of a nice,

631
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,680
Speaker 1: steady progression. I knew I was going to be early.

632
00:35:08,719 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: I just knew it. Although I did Patty my dula.

633
00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 1: She kept rolling her eyes. She was like, honey, every

634
00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:16,600
Speaker 1: new mother, every first time mom, thinks they're going to

635
00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,279
Speaker 1: be early. And I said, I'm telling you sas with

636
00:35:20,280 --> 00:35:23,640
Speaker 1: this child, and you were right. You really if we

637
00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:28,799
Speaker 1: could make this happen soon, Um, so yeah, so so

638
00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:34,960
Speaker 1: we basically September twenty seven or so, I started feeling

639
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 1: I woke up at two in the morning. I started

640
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:40,719
Speaker 1: feeling these sort of gentle pains. Do they feel like

641
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 1: period crams kind of thing? Yeah, they kind of felt

642
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:45,560
Speaker 1: like period cramps. Um, but I had had a few

643
00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 1: in the nights leading up, so I thought, and they

644
00:35:48,960 --> 00:35:53,799
Speaker 1: would usually dissipate thirty forty minutes later. And as you know,

645
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: an hour goes by, two hours go by, Johnny's snoring

646
00:35:57,360 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 1: next to me, I keep getting up to go to

647
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: the bathroom. Um, it just feels different. Um. Finally, around

648
00:36:04,719 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 1: five in the morning, he said, he woke up and said,

649
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 1: are you okay, and I said, I just don't know.

650
00:36:09,719 --> 00:36:13,080
Speaker 1: I think something's different. This could be it. I'm not sure,

651
00:36:13,800 --> 00:36:16,440
Speaker 1: this could be it. And of course immediately you know

652
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:21,120
Speaker 1: the reaction. It's the sheet white, old sweat. Johnny is like,

653
00:36:21,239 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: where's the bags? Yes, he we were staying it. We

654
00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,640
Speaker 1: have this little place, this family place on the beach.

655
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:28,799
Speaker 1: It doesn't have air conditioning, and it happened to be

656
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,239
Speaker 1: boiling hot. And I remember he chose that opportunity to

657
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,760
Speaker 1: take the new portable air conditioningot out of the box

658
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: and start to build it. Sure, that was great. Um,

659
00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:44,280
Speaker 1: then the dogs kept barking. Um. Then we we hadn't

660
00:36:44,280 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: been stoked like on juices and coconut water and stuff

661
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:51,240
Speaker 1: like that. He was so frenetic and panicked and running

662
00:36:51,239 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 1: back and forth and trying to build this fucking air

663
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I know, Adam, my whole labor. Adam

664
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 1: looked over to nurse and was like, I think my

665
00:36:57,960 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 1: eyes red. I need isazine. And then all of a sudden,

666
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 1: all the nurses and theaters are running around trying to

667
00:37:04,040 --> 00:37:06,560
Speaker 1: look for vising and I'm looking at my husband. I'm like,

668
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,879
Speaker 1: are you are you? Are you out of your mind

669
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 1: right now? Like it was out of a movie, but

670
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,160
Speaker 1: that it was like I think, I think our guys

671
00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:17,480
Speaker 1: were just like trying to I don't know, normalize the

672
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,200
Speaker 1: situation or connect to something that would that would keep

673
00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:24,640
Speaker 1: them ground into something I don't know, like redirect focus

674
00:37:24,760 --> 00:37:27,319
Speaker 1: onto something that's not ahead coming out of I don't

675
00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:30,040
Speaker 1: walk about how hard it is for the partners sometimes

676
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,879
Speaker 1: to go through this situation, but they are not going

677
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:36,200
Speaker 1: through it physically themselves. Well, that's the thing too, And

678
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: that's that's another reason why the doula is so important

679
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,719
Speaker 1: in a situation like that, because they are they don't

680
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,120
Speaker 1: know what to do, and Johnny gets really frustrated when

681
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:48,200
Speaker 1: he doesn't have like a task. Sure, so give him

682
00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:54,000
Speaker 1: jobs while you're here, massage, go massage that you know her,

683
00:37:54,160 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 1: the back of her, whatever, anything to give him a

684
00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:00,400
Speaker 1: task to keep him occupied. So that morning, when he

685
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: was doing this thing with the aergannitioner, I was like,

686
00:38:02,480 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: you know what, I really need coconut water. Could you

687
00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:06,160
Speaker 1: just go to the grocery store. And he's like, I

688
00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,680
Speaker 1: am not leaving you right now. I said, if it

689
00:38:08,880 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 1: even is labor we're talking, I said, just please, I

690
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,239
Speaker 1: really need coconut water. Because I needed him to get

691
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 1: the hell out of my space. Bless his heart. Um,

692
00:38:21,080 --> 00:38:23,799
Speaker 1: So I gave it a few more hours and it

693
00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: had you called Patty and Okay, no, I'm the type

694
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 1: of person. Hey, I'm not good at asking for help. Yeah,

695
00:38:32,400 --> 00:38:35,759
Speaker 1: and I just wanted to be sure, and it just

696
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,640
Speaker 1: progressed a little bit and intensified a little and uh

697
00:38:38,719 --> 00:38:41,520
Speaker 1: and I really at that point thought, okay, you know what, Yeah,

698
00:38:41,560 --> 00:38:43,160
Speaker 1: it's time to reach out. So I reached out to

699
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: both the doulah and the OBI and the O B.

700
00:38:47,719 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: And by the way, this is the obs job. They're like, well,

701
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:51,640
Speaker 1: I wasn't going to want you to come into the

702
00:38:51,680 --> 00:38:55,000
Speaker 1: office so I can check you out. And then Patty

703
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:58,440
Speaker 1: my Duela said okay, hold on, do you trust me?

704
00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 1: I said, of course, I trust you. She said, Honey,

705
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:04,000
Speaker 1: I don't want you getting into a car, going all

706
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 1: the way to the doctor's office, having them check you

707
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:11,240
Speaker 1: and say year, three centimeters come back in five hours,

708
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 1: and then going all the way back home. She just

709
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,439
Speaker 1: kind of want that for you. Yeah. What's amazing about

710
00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 1: dulas in l A is they really take into account

711
00:39:18,719 --> 00:39:22,960
Speaker 1: the traffic. Yeah, I know, how insanely stupid that sounds

712
00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:25,160
Speaker 1: to anyone listening who does not live in l A.

713
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:29,480
Speaker 1: But it is a big thing because we talked out

714
00:39:29,520 --> 00:39:31,440
Speaker 1: a lot about that in my DULA meeting where I

715
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: was like, if I if I go into labor and

716
00:39:34,200 --> 00:39:36,880
Speaker 1: saters is now we're talking during traffic and it's going

717
00:39:36,920 --> 00:39:38,040
Speaker 1: to take me an hour and a half to get

718
00:39:38,080 --> 00:39:42,560
Speaker 1: to the hospital. She asked me, she said, would it

719
00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:45,400
Speaker 1: stress you out less to get to the hospital early

720
00:39:45,520 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: or do you want to chance it like we had

721
00:39:47,000 --> 00:39:49,799
Speaker 1: a plan going into it. Okay, So this is an

722
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 1: interesting point about dula's is that a lot of times

723
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:55,920
Speaker 1: they're going to give you, let's say you're in the

724
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,480
Speaker 1: hospital and you're O B is giving you options of

725
00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 1: what do next. Um, your DULA will also be a

726
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,320
Speaker 1: voice of reason to give you maybe some other options

727
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:09,279
Speaker 1: or other ideas, but at the end of the day,

728
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:11,279
Speaker 1: you are the one to make the choice that's exactly right.

729
00:40:11,320 --> 00:40:13,879
Speaker 1: And because they take into account the fact that when

730
00:40:13,880 --> 00:40:18,160
Speaker 1: you're in labor you're not thinking perhaps as clearly as usual.

731
00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:21,600
Speaker 1: Sure they always every DULA will make a birth plan

732
00:40:21,680 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: with you where you get it down and writing your

733
00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 1: ideal situation right, So whatever comes up, it's do you want.

734
00:40:29,239 --> 00:40:30,959
Speaker 1: The minute you will rab at a hospital, the birth

735
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,600
Speaker 1: team is going to say immediately do you want an epidural?

736
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,680
Speaker 1: So if you've already made that decision with your dula beforehand,

737
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 1: I don't want an epidural until it's absolutely necessary, and

738
00:40:40,080 --> 00:40:42,640
Speaker 1: I will tell you when that is. Um. You know,

739
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:44,880
Speaker 1: like some women have like a safe word, you know,

740
00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:47,719
Speaker 1: like they'll say to their dula. I'm not going to

741
00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:51,080
Speaker 1: tell anyone else this, but I really want to have

742
00:40:51,200 --> 00:40:54,799
Speaker 1: natural birth and I am going to try to get there.

743
00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:57,040
Speaker 1: But just between you and me, know that if I

744
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:01,239
Speaker 1: say mayonnaise, I don't know why I chose that. Oh

745
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 1: I does had mayonnaise and my turkeys wasn't. I'm like

746
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:08,320
Speaker 1: I just said, First of all, I'm so naive. Second

747
00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:10,920
Speaker 1: of all, I had mayonnaise on my turkey sandwich an

748
00:41:10,920 --> 00:41:13,560
Speaker 1: hour ago and that's why I said that. Um. But

749
00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,680
Speaker 1: if you say that word, then the duela can say, okay,

750
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:17,600
Speaker 1: she's she's done, and then she can say but really,

751
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,799
Speaker 1: like really mayonnaise. Let's just think about this, like, are

752
00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 1: you sure. Let's wait till in between contractions to for

753
00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,279
Speaker 1: you to be in a more clearer headspace to think

754
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:27,040
Speaker 1: if you really want to use your safe word, and

755
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,959
Speaker 1: women do and then they get into a drill. So yeah,

756
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 1: there's also other things too, like a specific medical things

757
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,880
Speaker 1: that they employ. I guess when you're when your baby's firstborn,

758
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:41,640
Speaker 1: they'll offer you vitamin K drops or a shot. They'll

759
00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 1: offer you antibiotic eye drops, things like that that you

760
00:41:47,640 --> 00:41:49,480
Speaker 1: know beforehand you want to think about that. Do you

761
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:51,680
Speaker 1: want those administered to your and your duela puts that

762
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:54,680
Speaker 1: into the right and your dula will remind you make

763
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 1: this decision now, so that you go in and you

764
00:41:57,560 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: tell your obie and all the nurses this is what

765
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,920
Speaker 1: I get. Your duela is your advocate to say, hey,

766
00:42:02,960 --> 00:42:05,879
Speaker 1: like if if if that antibiotic eye drop is what's

767
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,040
Speaker 1: customary lee given to all babies and hospitals. But you

768
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:10,839
Speaker 1: decide you don't really like it or you don't need

769
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:13,439
Speaker 1: it for whatever reason. It's a personal choice. The duela

770
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 1: can say, hey, when the baby comes out, we're not

771
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: doing those eye drop things. So they can kind of

772
00:42:17,840 --> 00:42:19,960
Speaker 1: be like the bad guy in some situation. If you

773
00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: want to make placenti pills oftentimes stilled immediately, we could

774
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,719
Speaker 1: do a whole episode on place you would love you

775
00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:33,040
Speaker 1: needed it. Okay, so they are. They're all over it

776
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:36,200
Speaker 1: for you. So you text your Duela, She says, do

777
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:38,200
Speaker 1: you trust me? I don't think you should get in

778
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:39,680
Speaker 1: the car right now and drive all the way just

779
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: to get checked, because what is that going to do? Yeah,

780
00:42:41,640 --> 00:42:43,960
Speaker 1: she said, not much of anything exactly. She's a start

781
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:46,640
Speaker 1: time in your contraction. It sounds to me like you're

782
00:42:46,680 --> 00:42:52,640
Speaker 1: definitely in early labor, she said, very early stages. She said.

783
00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:57,040
Speaker 1: Run yourself a bath, light your candles, put on some

784
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:01,040
Speaker 1: nice music. Get in there. Do you breathe? She said,

785
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 1: But you're so early right now. She could just constantly

786
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 1: keep in touch with me. So I listened to her,

787
00:43:06,640 --> 00:43:08,960
Speaker 1: and I decided not to go into the doctor's office.

788
00:43:09,480 --> 00:43:13,160
Speaker 1: I also just felt peaceful at the moment and confident.

789
00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: I wasn't panicking. Great I had, you know, succeeded in

790
00:43:17,280 --> 00:43:19,800
Speaker 1: calming down my husband. He got back from the grocery.

791
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 1: So Johnny like, we're going to the doctor. We're getting checked.

792
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:24,120
Speaker 1: You know, that's kind of his instinct, right, But he

793
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:28,040
Speaker 1: had he had now a relationship with Patty because we've

794
00:43:28,040 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 1: been talking to her four months. I mean, we hired

795
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 1: her early. A lot of people hire their duelas around

796
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,279
Speaker 1: the fourth or fifth month. We had her like in

797
00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:39,080
Speaker 1: the second month. Um, so in fact, some people hire

798
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: the duel is like in a six or seventh right.

799
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,680
Speaker 1: I don't remember when I hired Rebecca, but I think

800
00:43:43,719 --> 00:43:47,120
Speaker 1: the earlier the better because you have someone there during

801
00:43:47,120 --> 00:43:49,319
Speaker 1: the whole experience, since you could throw a text to

802
00:43:49,320 --> 00:43:51,120
Speaker 1: to be like, I don't know what this is, I

803
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 1: feel this, or I just got this report from the doctor.

804
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:57,600
Speaker 1: What does it mean. She's on the whole journey with you.

805
00:43:57,600 --> 00:44:00,720
Speaker 1: You don't have to go back and explain. So Patty

806
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,400
Speaker 1: knows me. Patty knows Johnny. She knows how we react

807
00:44:04,440 --> 00:44:08,920
Speaker 1: and you know, in sort of a panicked circumstance, and

808
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,360
Speaker 1: she knew exactly what to say and how to say it.

809
00:44:12,800 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 1: She was right. I got in the bath, Um, I

810
00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: was able to breathe. I put on my favorite music.

811
00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:20,879
Speaker 1: I think you were texting me from the back. Yeah,

812
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: like you you're definitely texting me like I think these

813
00:44:24,040 --> 00:44:27,279
Speaker 1: are contractions. I feel like they're not. And of course,

814
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:29,880
Speaker 1: like I had my baby like four days later, so

815
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: I'm having a hard attack because this is all of

816
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,279
Speaker 1: a sudden getting really really you know, I'm like you

817
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 1: were the last friend, like you were the person. I

818
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:38,799
Speaker 1: was like, well, whence Jen goes like, I'm next in line,

819
00:44:38,920 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: this is a nightmare. Um. But you were texting me like,

820
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:44,879
Speaker 1: I think these are I think these are contractions. They're

821
00:44:44,880 --> 00:44:46,920
Speaker 1: not totally normal yet, but they are coming on. I'm

822
00:44:46,920 --> 00:44:50,359
Speaker 1: in a bath. I'm chilling like you just sounded very good. Yeah,

823
00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:52,440
Speaker 1: it was. It was going okay, It was going okay,

824
00:44:52,520 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 1: and then and then it started to intensify and I

825
00:44:57,200 --> 00:44:59,799
Speaker 1: but I still felt okay. And Johnny said, well, let's

826
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:02,640
Speaker 1: get at her here, and I said, you know, I'm

827
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:05,080
Speaker 1: not there yet. I'll know when I'm there. I'll know

828
00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: when I want her and at a certain point. Now

829
00:45:09,960 --> 00:45:13,120
Speaker 1: I went into labor at two in the morning. At

830
00:45:13,280 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 1: two in the afternoon, what I said, it's time. I

831
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:20,560
Speaker 1: want her here. So I wrote her. She she was like,

832
00:45:20,600 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 1: are you ready for me? And I said get here.

833
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 1: And she was there in twenty minutes and she came

834
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 1: into the bathroom. I was in and out of the bath.

835
00:45:31,200 --> 00:45:34,680
Speaker 1: She said, okay, I love that the tub is providing

836
00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 1: you so much comfort. She said. The bad news is

837
00:45:38,440 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 1: it slows down the process, so so she's just not

838
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,120
Speaker 1: dropping down as much. She said, so every time you

839
00:45:43,160 --> 00:45:45,440
Speaker 1: get up to p when you sit on the toilet,

840
00:45:46,080 --> 00:45:48,920
Speaker 1: that's when progress is being made. Oh yeah, I labored

841
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,000
Speaker 1: for a long time on the toilet. But it's so painful.

842
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,560
Speaker 1: Oh it's horrible. But oh yes, yes, I sat on

843
00:45:55,560 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: that toilet for a good long time. And I remember

844
00:45:57,640 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 1: Adam knocking on the bathroom door being like, Katie, are

845
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,160
Speaker 1: you okay? Do you want me to come in? No? Yeah,

846
00:46:03,960 --> 00:46:06,120
Speaker 1: I was just a loane holding onto the handicap bar

847
00:46:06,200 --> 00:46:08,400
Speaker 1: and the seater side. I was surprised. I breke that

848
00:46:08,440 --> 00:46:12,440
Speaker 1: thing in happen, Okay. So then she got me back

849
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,719
Speaker 1: in the tub. She you know, she was doing you

850
00:46:14,760 --> 00:46:16,480
Speaker 1: know what the most beautiful moment was. And I have

851
00:46:16,520 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: a picture of this because Johnny took a picture. She

852
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: put her hands on my stomach while I was in

853
00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:24,400
Speaker 1: the tub, and she did a meditation with this child,

854
00:46:25,440 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 1: um and it was so beautiful and I mean, I'm

855
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:33,040
Speaker 1: tearing up talking about it. It was this magic moment

856
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:36,160
Speaker 1: and time stood still. What did she say? I just

857
00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:38,640
Speaker 1: went into a trance. This baby, she just she was

858
00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:40,680
Speaker 1: talking to the baby and I don't know what she said.

859
00:46:40,840 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, but it was so beautiful, um and

860
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:49,360
Speaker 1: peaceful and uh, and Johnny took a picture and it's

861
00:46:49,400 --> 00:46:53,760
Speaker 1: it's just it's it was magic. And there was something

862
00:46:53,760 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 1: in that where it was like, we're a team, you know,

863
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: we're going in and this is going to be a

864
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 1: beautiful experience. And I had always said to her, uh,

865
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:02,520
Speaker 1: and I still feel this way, and I don't regret

866
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 1: one moment, even though it was twenty eight hours. I

867
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,800
Speaker 1: always said, Patty, I want this to be as enjoyable

868
00:47:08,800 --> 00:47:11,040
Speaker 1: and experience as it can be. It's going to be

869
00:47:11,120 --> 00:47:15,719
Speaker 1: so painful. I realized that, Um, and that's okay. I'm

870
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:18,040
Speaker 1: ready for that, but at no point to why I

871
00:47:18,040 --> 00:47:20,680
Speaker 1: want to just be miserable. I don't want to be screaming.

872
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:22,360
Speaker 1: I don't want to be swearing. I don't want to

873
00:47:22,360 --> 00:47:28,799
Speaker 1: be you know. I know it's really weird. In movies,

874
00:47:28,880 --> 00:47:33,000
Speaker 1: you know, they sort of I talked about this a

875
00:47:33,040 --> 00:47:36,720
Speaker 1: lot with Rebecca my dula. But in movies, they show

876
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:40,279
Speaker 1: a lot of labor, I think, which is why I

877
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:43,160
Speaker 1: had such a horrible stigma attached to it. But they

878
00:47:43,200 --> 00:47:45,960
Speaker 1: show women like screaming their heads off and all this stuff.

879
00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,799
Speaker 1: And for me and I talked to Rebecca about this,

880
00:47:48,800 --> 00:47:52,040
Speaker 1: who's been at sixty five birth. I was really quiet

881
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,799
Speaker 1: and I'm really loud. When I gave birth. It was

882
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,160
Speaker 1: very internal and it got very quiet and very focused,

883
00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:00,759
Speaker 1: and it's so focused, like I was not screaming my

884
00:48:00,760 --> 00:48:04,160
Speaker 1: head off at all and and um, and so it

885
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,319
Speaker 1: wasn't scary in that way. I wasn't screaming at my

886
00:48:06,400 --> 00:48:12,360
Speaker 1: husband either, And my goal want that for her or him. No,

887
00:48:13,080 --> 00:48:16,040
Speaker 1: and my goal similar lead to you, was I told

888
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:19,120
Speaker 1: Rebecca and I told Adam. I said, I just want

889
00:48:19,160 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 1: to have a good memory of this. I don't want

890
00:48:21,600 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 1: to look back and say that I hated the experience.

891
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,479
Speaker 1: I just don't. I want to look back and say,

892
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:29,680
Speaker 1: oh my god, that was truly like the best day

893
00:48:29,719 --> 00:48:32,080
Speaker 1: of my life when I met my son. That's all

894
00:48:32,120 --> 00:48:34,600
Speaker 1: I want to be able to say. However I get there.

895
00:48:34,920 --> 00:48:37,239
Speaker 1: I just want to be able to like figure out

896
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:39,319
Speaker 1: a way to enjoy it, which I know sounds so

897
00:48:39,400 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: lame and how when your body is being ripped in half,

898
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:43,160
Speaker 1: But it is possible because I did, and I think

899
00:48:43,800 --> 00:48:45,839
Speaker 1: it doesn't sound lame to me. I think it's about

900
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,759
Speaker 1: changing the dialogue, by the way, not just for ourselves

901
00:48:49,160 --> 00:48:52,799
Speaker 1: but for others. I think because when I say that,

902
00:48:52,880 --> 00:48:55,000
Speaker 1: you know, I've had that reaction of somebody rolling their

903
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:57,800
Speaker 1: eyes and being like, oh please, it's the most painful,

904
00:48:57,840 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 1: most miserable, And I'm like, I don't want to I

905
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:04,480
Speaker 1: don't want that to be the definition of what childbirth

906
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,480
Speaker 1: is the most painful and the most miserable, because think

907
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 1: about the end. First of all, when we go into

908
00:49:09,520 --> 00:49:13,400
Speaker 1: the hospital, for the most part, it's because something's wrong

909
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,080
Speaker 1: or you're sick. Because you're sick, it's because you know

910
00:49:16,400 --> 00:49:20,120
Speaker 1: it's an emergency situation and so it's fighting for your life. Well,

911
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:22,839
Speaker 1: this is the one instance where you are going into

912
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:27,040
Speaker 1: the hospital knowing that there is this beautiful you are

913
00:49:27,520 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 1: literally creating life. I mean, I'm sorry, I know it

914
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:32,720
Speaker 1: sounds at all new age and I go there sometimes,

915
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: but that is a fact. It's the only time you

916
00:49:34,719 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 1: go into the hospital knowing that there is a beautiful result.

917
00:49:38,080 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 1: So why not make that process as much as you can?

918
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,480
Speaker 1: By the way, because there are moments where I was

919
00:49:43,520 --> 00:49:46,680
Speaker 1: like I'm going to die. Did you have thoughts like

920
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:49,320
Speaker 1: that during labor when I was eight to eight and

921
00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:53,560
Speaker 1: a half centimeters and still natural? You guys, did you

922
00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:56,080
Speaker 1: hear that? No? I only made it to six. I

923
00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 1: made it to six when I said the hand when

924
00:49:58,040 --> 00:49:59,919
Speaker 1: I threw my hail Mary, and I was like, folk,

925
00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,399
Speaker 1: get this. And this was also, by the way, two

926
00:50:03,480 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: days of not sleeping, and this was our And I

927
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 1: remember going to the bathroom and sitting on that soilet

928
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:11,920
Speaker 1: and in the hospital room and I was like, did

929
00:50:11,960 --> 00:50:16,120
Speaker 1: you poop? No? I didn't either. I was totally constipated. Oh,

930
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: you were really bad diarrhea the day before. So I

931
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 1: got it all emptied out, you know, as far as

932
00:50:22,200 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 1: I know, I didn't because supposedly, like if you don't,

933
00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:27,920
Speaker 1: so a lot of people who go into labor naturally

934
00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:31,680
Speaker 1: like Jen did, a lot of times your body will

935
00:50:32,280 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: have diarrhea the day's leading up because it's getting rid

936
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 1: of all the stuff and making room for the baby

937
00:50:38,040 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 1: to come out when you're induced, which I was, a

938
00:50:40,320 --> 00:50:42,919
Speaker 1: lot of people crap all over that delivery table because

939
00:50:42,960 --> 00:50:45,480
Speaker 1: their body didn't go into labor naturally, so it hasn't

940
00:50:45,719 --> 00:50:48,000
Speaker 1: had the time to kind of get it all out.

941
00:50:48,320 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm definitely gonna poop. I'm definitely

942
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:52,720
Speaker 1: gonna poop. But what's weird is I was so stressed

943
00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 1: and nervous about being induced that I had diarrhea anyway, Yes,

944
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,880
Speaker 1: so I didn't poop on the table. You have like anxiety.

945
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,480
Speaker 1: I had anxiety diarrhea leading up to the induction because

946
00:51:03,520 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: I knew I was being induced. I knew I was

947
00:51:05,160 --> 00:51:07,040
Speaker 1: going to go into labor. I knew when that moment

948
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: was coming. So I had nervous diarrhea the whole day

949
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,879
Speaker 1: leading up. Envious up to a certain extent. For sure,

950
00:51:12,960 --> 00:51:16,200
Speaker 1: it was a perfect situation for me looking back and

951
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:18,040
Speaker 1: rest leading up. That was the thing with us. We

952
00:51:18,120 --> 00:51:20,960
Speaker 1: got no sleep leading up. So by our tent five,

953
00:51:20,960 --> 00:51:22,480
Speaker 1: I turned to Johnny and I was like, I can't

954
00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:24,160
Speaker 1: do this. We hadn't stupped in two days. And then

955
00:51:24,160 --> 00:51:26,759
Speaker 1: I turned to the nurse and said, hey, just give

956
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 1: me a ballpark. What are we looking at here? And

957
00:51:28,600 --> 00:51:30,360
Speaker 1: she said, well, you're eight and a half. I mean

958
00:51:30,360 --> 00:51:32,920
Speaker 1: you're pretty much there, she said, but I could be

959
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:36,239
Speaker 1: having contractions for another two hours, and then pushing could

960
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,319
Speaker 1: take two hours. And I turned to Johnny and I

961
00:51:38,320 --> 00:51:42,080
Speaker 1: was like, four hours And that was the moment, you said,

962
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:45,120
Speaker 1: epidarl Yeah, And you know it was so funny. I

963
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,680
Speaker 1: was so clear headed leading up to that, even with

964
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:51,120
Speaker 1: that level were you really trying. Was your birth plan

965
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,640
Speaker 1: with your Duela to not have an epidrol It was,

966
00:51:53,960 --> 00:51:57,480
Speaker 1: but I am not That's not my personality to be

967
00:51:57,480 --> 00:52:00,280
Speaker 1: like it's all or nothing, no epidurl. It was always

968
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:02,680
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna try, that's it. It was like, my

969
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:06,560
Speaker 1: intention is not my plan. My intention is to not

970
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:10,600
Speaker 1: use an epidural. However, if we get to the point,

971
00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:13,640
Speaker 1: like we were saying, we're all enjoyment has left the

972
00:52:13,680 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 1: equation and at that point I'm just fucking miserable, then

973
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,680
Speaker 1: it's epidural because I need to reverse it and get

974
00:52:20,680 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: it back to where we were, which was us in

975
00:52:22,920 --> 00:52:25,920
Speaker 1: the tub having a magic moment. I know it's not

976
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:27,839
Speaker 1: going to beautiful the whole way through. I know this,

977
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:31,560
Speaker 1: but I need to still feel, like you said, looking

978
00:52:31,600 --> 00:52:34,640
Speaker 1: back when I'm telling the story to my kid, even

979
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,399
Speaker 1: two weeks later, I was like, that was the best

980
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:41,200
Speaker 1: birth ever. So yeah. So basically, at at hour, I said, um,

981
00:52:41,520 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 1: I don't want four more hours of this because if

982
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: I if I could have even been more, it could

983
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 1: have been more if I had two more hours of

984
00:52:48,040 --> 00:52:50,920
Speaker 1: contractions and then had to push for two hours on

985
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:54,200
Speaker 1: at that point, for eight hours of no sleep, none

986
00:52:54,239 --> 00:52:57,040
Speaker 1: of this is making sense to me. So I said,

987
00:52:57,440 --> 00:52:59,239
Speaker 1: it's time. And what was so cool is Patty and

988
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: I have such um an honest communication. She didn't even

989
00:53:03,560 --> 00:53:06,440
Speaker 1: have to say are you sure? Are you really? Because

990
00:53:06,440 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 1: the nurses did. The nurses were like, Jennifer, you're there.

991
00:53:10,280 --> 00:53:12,759
Speaker 1: You were pretty much there. You don't need an at

992
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,400
Speaker 1: the dural. But Patty, who I've known from the beginning,

993
00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:18,000
Speaker 1: is like, honey, I hear you, lad and clear. Get

994
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 1: the guy in because it's got goose bumps. You know what.

995
00:53:23,840 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 1: He came in, popped it in, no big deal in

996
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:32,880
Speaker 1: the room board or not. He was Johnny, except he

997
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:37,720
Speaker 1: called it surgery and they put him out. Okay. Meanwhile,

998
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: I love you. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there having contractions and

999
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:52,399
Speaker 1: while they're yeah, exactly. So you made it to eight

1000
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 1: and a half centim, which unbelievable because I only made

1001
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:58,360
Speaker 1: it to six and that was good. I was like, yeah,

1002
00:53:58,440 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 1: check please clam. I was balling, crying between each contraction,

1003
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:05,680
Speaker 1: and I looked at my Duela and Adam and I said,

1004
00:54:05,800 --> 00:54:08,640
Speaker 1: you know, I am just really not having fun, like

1005
00:54:08,800 --> 00:54:13,040
Speaker 1: at all, and I don't I just want to be

1006
00:54:13,120 --> 00:54:15,560
Speaker 1: present for this and I'm not I'm only counting down

1007
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:18,480
Speaker 1: the seconds to the next contraction, and I'm hating every, every,

1008
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,960
Speaker 1: every freaking second of this. And I'm proud that I've

1009
00:54:21,000 --> 00:54:22,480
Speaker 1: made it this far because I know I wanted to

1010
00:54:22,520 --> 00:54:24,719
Speaker 1: feel it. I wanted to feel what it felt like.

1011
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 1: I wanted to feel what a contraction felt like for

1012
00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 1: a good long while to want to see how my

1013
00:54:27,920 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 1: body could do it. I wanted to like, really feel

1014
00:54:31,680 --> 00:54:34,040
Speaker 1: like the feminine power in that way. And then I

1015
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:39,279
Speaker 1: was like, it's right, I felt it. No more, I

1016
00:54:39,320 --> 00:54:43,080
Speaker 1: really feel that. Yes, And you keep in mind, I

1017
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,239
Speaker 1: have gallbladder attacks, so my threshold for pain is high.

1018
00:54:46,280 --> 00:54:50,440
Speaker 1: It's crazy high. Um. But but exactly what you said

1019
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:53,120
Speaker 1: is exactly what I experienced, which was I felt what

1020
00:54:53,200 --> 00:54:55,680
Speaker 1: I needed to feel. I felt that right of passage.

1021
00:54:55,719 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: I felt the empowerment of this, the beauty of what

1022
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:02,799
Speaker 1: our body can livable. It's incredible and I will never

1023
00:55:02,840 --> 00:55:05,040
Speaker 1: get over that. And I'd like you, I'm really proud

1024
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,959
Speaker 1: of myself. Um. And by the way, I have friends

1025
00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:09,680
Speaker 1: who were like, I don't want none of it, not

1026
00:55:09,719 --> 00:55:12,760
Speaker 1: doing any of it, scheduling it in. Do what you want.

1027
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 1: Your story is your story, and let us all like

1028
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,440
Speaker 1: not judge each other. Let us all empower each other.

1029
00:55:18,560 --> 00:55:20,839
Speaker 1: Make your story your story. It just so happens, this

1030
00:55:20,920 --> 00:55:23,880
Speaker 1: is what I wanted my story to be, and so

1031
00:55:23,880 --> 00:55:25,560
Speaker 1: so she was a real advocate for you in the room.

1032
00:55:25,600 --> 00:55:28,560
Speaker 1: When you called it a dual had happened, she was

1033
00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:33,439
Speaker 1: right there. And the coolest part was because the best

1034
00:55:33,440 --> 00:55:35,680
Speaker 1: part of laboring at home was the bathtub. The best

1035
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:38,080
Speaker 1: part of laboring in the hospital was when I finally

1036
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:41,200
Speaker 1: did that EPI dural. I slept for an hour and

1037
00:55:41,239 --> 00:55:45,719
Speaker 1: a half and I remember between naps, I woke up

1038
00:55:45,719 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: and Johnny was sleeping in the rocking chair in front

1039
00:55:48,719 --> 00:55:51,719
Speaker 1: of me, and Patty was sleeping on the bench by

1040
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:55,160
Speaker 1: the window, and it was this absolutely quiet, beautiful moment

1041
00:55:55,600 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 1: where for the first time in twenty six hours I

1042
00:55:59,719 --> 00:56:03,560
Speaker 1: wasn't feeling pain, and my husband was resting, and my doula,

1043
00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:06,439
Speaker 1: your birth team was all just chilling for a minute,

1044
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 1: and that was so necessary. Drifted back to sleep, and

1045
00:56:10,560 --> 00:56:13,239
Speaker 1: then I got poked on the shoulder. An hour and

1046
00:56:13,320 --> 00:56:18,320
Speaker 1: forty minutes and to that nap, and the nurse said, honey,

1047
00:56:18,560 --> 00:56:20,719
Speaker 1: you're all set to go, are you ready? And I said,

1048
00:56:20,760 --> 00:56:25,279
Speaker 1: quote unquote yeah, And I put on Beyonce and then

1049
00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:29,520
Speaker 1: Sarah McLaughlin Yes, which is the perfect mixture of Jenn

1050
00:56:29,600 --> 00:56:33,279
Speaker 1: Finnigan's personality. That makes perfect sense to me. You have

1051
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:36,560
Speaker 1: both sides of those women within you. My very very

1052
00:56:36,760 --> 00:56:40,000
Speaker 1: very consis and no understand why and hopefully our beautiful

1053
00:56:40,000 --> 00:56:45,040
Speaker 1: Eli Jack your daughter will as well. So it so

1054
00:56:45,400 --> 00:56:47,600
Speaker 1: to push, sid to push, and it was. I also

1055
00:56:47,640 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 1: could props to the upiseral guy because he gave me

1056
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:52,680
Speaker 1: just enough to where it took the edge off, but

1057
00:56:52,719 --> 00:56:55,080
Speaker 1: I could still feel pushing, I could feel my feet

1058
00:56:55,080 --> 00:56:57,319
Speaker 1: all of that. That's great. When Jenn came back from

1059
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,720
Speaker 1: CBS Salvation, Jen and I were in this saying prenatal

1060
00:57:00,800 --> 00:57:05,600
Speaker 1: yoga class um by Rebecca Beninatti, who was my duela.

1061
00:57:06,080 --> 00:57:08,359
Speaker 1: But a big part of that class was learning how

1062
00:57:08,400 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 1: to push correctly and practicing pushing so that you and

1063
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,520
Speaker 1: I when we got to that point, it wasn't the

1064
00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:16,160
Speaker 1: first time we'd ever put our bodies in this sort

1065
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 1: of potisens and women are people out there who are

1066
00:57:19,000 --> 00:57:23,400
Speaker 1: wanting to labor. I suggest you find a prenatal yoga

1067
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:25,800
Speaker 1: class or some sort of physical class near you to

1068
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,800
Speaker 1: practice these sorts of things. I can't believe people just

1069
00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 1: go into labor having never put their body in these

1070
00:57:31,000 --> 00:57:33,760
Speaker 1: positions and stuff. It's just like you can practice and

1071
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 1: you can empower yourself to be excited, and like that

1072
00:57:37,240 --> 00:57:40,360
Speaker 1: is the biggest word here, empowerment. And by the way,

1073
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:43,760
Speaker 1: a duela serves to empower you because you have the knowledge,

1074
00:57:43,840 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 1: because you have an advocate, because you have a voice.

1075
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:51,720
Speaker 1: When you are in pain, you have anxiety, your hormones

1076
00:57:51,720 --> 00:57:54,280
Speaker 1: are going insane, you're getting scared out of your mind.

1077
00:57:54,360 --> 00:57:57,640
Speaker 1: That fear is not to be belittled. That there is

1078
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 1: some fear. I was so scared first time mom, and

1079
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:01,440
Speaker 1: a way, even if I had a second kid, I

1080
00:58:01,440 --> 00:58:04,640
Speaker 1: would still be scared. And it is a major, major

1081
00:58:04,680 --> 00:58:08,120
Speaker 1: physical feat that only knowledge can help you. I think

1082
00:58:08,160 --> 00:58:11,720
Speaker 1: as well, and I think Adula adds to that arsenal

1083
00:58:11,840 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 1: of knowledge. So you pushed her out in ninety minutes.

1084
00:58:15,240 --> 00:58:18,840
Speaker 1: The crazy thing, you, guys, is that little little a

1085
00:58:18,840 --> 00:58:22,919
Speaker 1: little hip, little hipped Jen Finnigan birthed and almost nine

1086
00:58:22,920 --> 00:58:24,600
Speaker 1: pound baby girl who when you took her home from

1087
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:27,040
Speaker 1: the hospital and you sent me her photo, she barely

1088
00:58:27,120 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 1: even fit in the car seat. Like my baby when

1089
00:58:30,600 --> 00:58:32,640
Speaker 1: I put him in the car seat to get home,

1090
00:58:33,120 --> 00:58:36,080
Speaker 1: was like a little aunt and your baby was like

1091
00:58:36,320 --> 00:58:38,680
Speaker 1: overflowing the car seat, and I was like, holy crap,

1092
00:58:38,800 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 1: Jen Finnigan, are you ever gonna be able to walk again?

1093
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:44,080
Speaker 1: Because I don't even know how this child came out

1094
00:58:44,080 --> 00:58:46,040
Speaker 1: of me. I do not know any except that she's

1095
00:58:46,040 --> 00:58:50,120
Speaker 1: really pretty. Like all the nurses were like, oh my god,

1096
00:58:50,200 --> 00:58:54,080
Speaker 1: she's huge, and she has this like fro happening. She's huge,

1097
00:58:54,160 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 1: amazing head of hair that just sticks up it. It's

1098
00:58:56,960 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 1: so dang cute. I mean, she's just whose other world

1099
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:03,480
Speaker 1: It is so dude. Then your Duela did Patty um,

1100
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 1: so you had to postpartum visit with her as well. Yeah,

1101
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:09,520
Speaker 1: so again like Patty, just you know when you talk

1102
00:59:09,560 --> 00:59:12,800
Speaker 1: about like the package or whatever that came with with

1103
00:59:12,800 --> 00:59:14,880
Speaker 1: with Patty as my duela, Like, it's it's hard to

1104
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:18,479
Speaker 1: put it in those terms because there's so much more.

1105
00:59:18,680 --> 00:59:20,520
Speaker 1: I mean, she became like a member of the family.

1106
00:59:20,720 --> 00:59:22,840
Speaker 1: And so it never felt like, oh, well, I still

1107
00:59:22,840 --> 00:59:25,400
Speaker 1: owe you one class where I come over. It just

1108
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:27,480
Speaker 1: felt like this natural thing, like I have to come

1109
00:59:27,520 --> 00:59:29,840
Speaker 1: see you. I have to see Ella Jack, like I

1110
00:59:29,840 --> 00:59:31,440
Speaker 1: want to see how you're doing. And plus I was

1111
00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:33,600
Speaker 1: kind of bedridden because the baby was so big. She

1112
00:59:33,680 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 1: tore up my cervix. I know, there were so many

1113
00:59:37,760 --> 00:59:41,000
Speaker 1: stitch just there were so many stitches. You guys, I

1114
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:45,439
Speaker 1: had stitches too. And Rebecca, I don't know. I feel

1115
00:59:45,440 --> 00:59:47,440
Speaker 1: like she was down there like like it was like

1116
00:59:47,480 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 1: a like like it was a cartoon character, like a

1117
00:59:50,320 --> 00:59:54,480
Speaker 1: huge needle and thread just going like in circles and

1118
00:59:54,520 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: circles and I and I looked down. I was like,

1119
00:59:56,000 --> 00:59:57,720
Speaker 1: how many are you putting in there? And she was like,

1120
00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:01,000
Speaker 1: I wouldn't worry. You know, there's a there's there's one

1121
01:00:01,040 --> 01:00:03,640
Speaker 1: to four, four being the worst tear, and you're a

1122
01:00:03,800 --> 01:00:07,040
Speaker 1: good normal two. And I was like, okay, yeah, I

1123
01:00:07,040 --> 01:00:09,280
Speaker 1: feel like you were at a four. Well, it wasn't

1124
01:00:09,320 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 1: the it wasn't a perennial tear. It was she tore

1125
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 1: out my cervix. So she came here's the thing she

1126
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:17,200
Speaker 1: came out. I don't even know what the hell that is,

1127
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:19,680
Speaker 1: but it sounds scary. I know. My OV called her

1128
01:00:20,360 --> 01:00:22,760
Speaker 1: a shop we have a shopper, and I went, I

1129
01:00:22,800 --> 01:00:24,600
Speaker 1: don't know what that means. It's because she came out

1130
01:00:25,120 --> 01:00:27,439
Speaker 1: at the same time, her hand, her whole entire hand

1131
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,840
Speaker 1: and arm came out and She's like, I like to

1132
01:00:29,880 --> 01:00:32,120
Speaker 1: call it a shopper because it's like your baby's coming

1133
01:00:32,120 --> 01:00:36,000
Speaker 1: out with a credit card, going, let's charge it, my god.

1134
01:00:36,120 --> 01:00:39,760
Speaker 1: And so she what we think is her shoulder probably

1135
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:43,640
Speaker 1: ripped sort of the cervics into this strange that's possible,

1136
01:00:43,800 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 1: good lord, it's more than super super high up internal stitching,

1137
01:00:48,440 --> 01:00:50,920
Speaker 1: very high up. Yeah. I had to lost count it

1138
01:00:51,040 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 1: like forty I think. So, yeah, it's possible that you guys,

1139
01:00:55,840 --> 01:00:58,280
Speaker 1: stitches up in your cervix. Don't feel super fun, don't

1140
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,040
Speaker 1: feel so fun. So yeah, I was little bit incapacitated

1141
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:02,640
Speaker 1: for for four or five weeks. Such. It had to

1142
01:01:02,640 --> 01:01:04,920
Speaker 1: be real careful. I wasn't really going down my stairs

1143
01:01:05,000 --> 01:01:06,920
Speaker 1: or I wasn't doing anything. Let's put it that way,

1144
01:01:06,960 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 1: which is, you know, now, looking back, maybe a nice

1145
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 1: thing that I was that bound with my child. Yeah, hey,

1146
01:01:14,200 --> 01:01:17,640
Speaker 1: you got to really connect with her exactly. I mean, wow,

1147
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:21,960
Speaker 1: Dula would come and she came a few times just

1148
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:26,160
Speaker 1: to visit. Did you have a postpartum separate Dula? Like, yeah,

1149
01:01:26,800 --> 01:01:29,880
Speaker 1: I did. Um, this is this is a little new age.

1150
01:01:30,000 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 1: But again, I am such a huge believer and fan

1151
01:01:33,000 --> 01:01:37,280
Speaker 1: of irogatic medicine. It's helped me so much. Um, look

1152
01:01:37,320 --> 01:01:40,960
Speaker 1: it off online. It's it's pretty simple. It's it's Indian medicine.

1153
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 1: It's been around for thousands of years. Um. But uh,

1154
01:01:45,440 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 1: you know one thing that we do your differently certain cultures.

1155
01:01:48,440 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 1: I know it's big in the Asian culture. When a

1156
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:54,400
Speaker 1: woman has a child, that's right. So the mother is

1157
01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:57,760
Speaker 1: in charge of feeding her child and nurturing her child.

1158
01:01:57,960 --> 01:01:59,959
Speaker 1: The rest of the family is in charge of taking

1159
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:04,920
Speaker 1: care of the mother, rehabilitating her, nourishing her, getting back

1160
01:02:04,960 --> 01:02:10,160
Speaker 1: to because obviously physically it's a massive feat and massive

1161
01:02:10,200 --> 01:02:13,800
Speaker 1: straight on your body, but mentally spiritually it is as well.

1162
01:02:14,600 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 1: And your hormones are so jacked. Oh my gosh, such

1163
01:02:18,800 --> 01:02:21,880
Speaker 1: a fall off. Crazy. So you need to be taken

1164
01:02:21,920 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 1: care of and you need to so you think a

1165
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:25,520
Speaker 1: postpartum duel is super important as well. I'm a big

1166
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:27,520
Speaker 1: fan of it. There's a really awesome book that that's

1167
01:02:27,520 --> 01:02:29,880
Speaker 1: called The First forty Days. Right, it's a beautiful book.

1168
01:02:29,960 --> 01:02:32,840
Speaker 1: It's a beautiful book, but it's about how in um

1169
01:02:33,320 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 1: where is she from the writer? I can't remember what,

1170
01:02:37,080 --> 01:02:38,880
Speaker 1: but it's a book called The First forty Days, and

1171
01:02:38,920 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 1: it's all about how the first forty days of a

1172
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:44,200
Speaker 1: new mom, you know. She there are some cultures where

1173
01:02:44,200 --> 01:02:46,040
Speaker 1: they are home just with the baby and that they're

1174
01:02:46,120 --> 01:02:47,920
Speaker 1: they have to eat certain foods to reput and he

1175
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:49,800
Speaker 1: eat only warm foods, all this kind of stuff to

1176
01:02:49,920 --> 01:02:53,320
Speaker 1: replenish their spirit and soul and body, because it's after

1177
01:02:53,360 --> 01:02:55,280
Speaker 1: what they've just gone through. It's truly called and it

1178
01:02:55,400 --> 01:02:58,200
Speaker 1: is such a thing. There is a fourth trimester, and

1179
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:01,280
Speaker 1: we don't acknowledge us so much in our culture. You know,

1180
01:03:01,400 --> 01:03:03,840
Speaker 1: it's like the many you pop out the baby and

1181
01:03:03,960 --> 01:03:06,000
Speaker 1: you're off to the races and yeah, and everyone's just

1182
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:08,720
Speaker 1: caring about the baby. Ye right, yeah, and the mom

1183
01:03:08,800 --> 01:03:13,600
Speaker 1: is just like left foot, yeah kind of right. So

1184
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 1: Patty was really well versed in the fourth try MSR two.

1185
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:18,560
Speaker 1: Do you feel like there's anything else you would like

1186
01:03:18,640 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 1: to say about your birthing experience, your dula experience, your

1187
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:30,120
Speaker 1: motherhood experience. I just think, um, I feel like, first

1188
01:03:30,160 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 1: of all, so much empowerment from this whole situation, from

1189
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 1: the whole process, um partly due to you. I have

1190
01:03:37,760 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: to say, yeah, I mean it. And you know how

1191
01:03:40,720 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 1: grateful I am. I always every time, I mean, you know,

1192
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:46,880
Speaker 1: every time I was in a water aerobics class with you,

1193
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:49,720
Speaker 1: or when we were both pregnant, or when we were

1194
01:03:49,720 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 1: in the the the leather baby classes. Now I always

1195
01:03:54,080 --> 01:03:56,520
Speaker 1: look at you and think how grateful I am because

1196
01:03:56,520 --> 01:03:59,560
Speaker 1: you have this beautiful system of women who are all

1197
01:03:59,600 --> 01:04:03,400
Speaker 1: support hurting each other. By the way, also like that

1198
01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:06,480
Speaker 1: group of women, they're so rounded. You guys have a

1199
01:04:06,520 --> 01:04:08,320
Speaker 1: real deal. Like we can sit around and be like,

1200
01:04:08,760 --> 01:04:12,600
Speaker 1: what is happening with my nipples right now? Do you

1201
01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,000
Speaker 1: feel this way? Are you depressed because you can't go

1202
01:04:15,040 --> 01:04:17,120
Speaker 1: out anymore? And we have to get an episode of

1203
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:21,400
Speaker 1: this into community. Very I don't know how women do

1204
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,000
Speaker 1: this by themselves, But like I said, like I think

1205
01:04:24,040 --> 01:04:26,120
Speaker 1: in the olden days, I don't know what the hell

1206
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:28,320
Speaker 1: I'm talking about when I say that, but I think

1207
01:04:28,440 --> 01:04:31,400
Speaker 1: women used to live in houses with their mothers and

1208
01:04:31,400 --> 01:04:33,520
Speaker 1: their cousins and their aunts and things, and I think

1209
01:04:33,520 --> 01:04:35,360
Speaker 1: that there used to be a lot of women around

1210
01:04:35,400 --> 01:04:38,000
Speaker 1: and there are still families that do that in this country.

1211
01:04:38,040 --> 01:04:40,320
Speaker 1: For sure. We don't know. That's not my system and

1212
01:04:40,360 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 1: that's not your system. So I feel very fortunate that

1213
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:45,640
Speaker 1: you and I got pregnant at the same time. I

1214
01:04:45,680 --> 01:04:49,040
Speaker 1: feel like that brought us really much closer. It's brought

1215
01:04:49,040 --> 01:04:52,720
Speaker 1: our partners closer, and I feel the same. I'm like,

1216
01:04:52,840 --> 01:04:55,480
Speaker 1: you're the coolest jumping again. Please don't go back to

1217
01:04:55,760 --> 01:04:57,560
Speaker 1: Canada to shoot your show, but do because I'm all

1218
01:04:57,880 --> 01:04:59,760
Speaker 1: visit you and we're gonna have a wild wigain with

1219
01:04:59,800 --> 01:05:03,520
Speaker 1: our babies in Vancouver. It's going to be so all

1220
01:05:03,560 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 1: of that. We will be waiting for you when you

1221
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:07,960
Speaker 1: come home. Please do. Um. But the empowerment of that,

1222
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:12,840
Speaker 1: the empowerment of having this incredible woman, Um Doulah, who

1223
01:05:12,880 --> 01:05:16,240
Speaker 1: was my advocate, all of these people, like you said,

1224
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:21,520
Speaker 1: it became my village, UM, and I really encourage women

1225
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:27,360
Speaker 1: to expand their knowledge, expand the people in their village,

1226
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:31,720
Speaker 1: whether they're being whether they're paying for them or not. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah,

1227
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 1: I totally get that not all of this is accessible, agreed, Agreed,

1228
01:05:35,720 --> 01:05:37,840
Speaker 1: But just gather as much knowledge as you can, and

1229
01:05:37,880 --> 01:05:41,200
Speaker 1: as many women who have done this, who can impart

1230
01:05:41,320 --> 01:05:44,840
Speaker 1: knowledge and advice and wisdom as possible, because go in

1231
01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:49,560
Speaker 1: there and empower yourself. I know that it's scary, Um.

1232
01:05:49,600 --> 01:05:51,200
Speaker 1: You know, it's like when people get sick and they

1233
01:05:51,200 --> 01:05:52,720
Speaker 1: don't want to know. I don't want to know anything.

1234
01:05:52,760 --> 01:05:54,160
Speaker 1: I just want to go in there and have them

1235
01:05:54,160 --> 01:05:55,880
Speaker 1: take care of me, and I'm gonna keep my eyes

1236
01:05:55,920 --> 01:05:58,840
Speaker 1: shut the whole time. That's the easy way. Don't do that,

1237
01:05:59,240 --> 01:06:02,560
Speaker 1: Go and look at head on ye so um, that's

1238
01:06:02,600 --> 01:06:04,960
Speaker 1: all I want to say. That's Jen Finnigan. Ladies and gentlemen.

1239
01:06:05,000 --> 01:06:07,480
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining me on my couch than on

1240
01:06:07,600 --> 01:06:12,440
Speaker 1: Katie's crib. Thank you guys so much for listening and

1241
01:06:12,480 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: for joining us on this awesome adventure. Please make sure

1242
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:32,840
Speaker 1: to subscribe to Katie's Crib. Bye, I'm track