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Speaker 1: This is John, This is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. We have some spectacular stories coming up. But

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Speaker 1: real quick, we got a two minute break from our

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Speaker 1: lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

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Speaker 2: John, I think it's time to give your mom the

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Speaker 2: most important Mother's Day gift of all the truth.

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Speaker 1: That's right, Sam, It's day two of mother may I

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Speaker 1: have a DNA test week here on Okay Storytime, and

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Speaker 1: we're doing DNA test stories every day leading up to

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Speaker 1: Mother's Day.

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Speaker 2: We've got tales that'll make you say, wait, mom, does

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Speaker 2: that have another kid?

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Speaker 1: And if you're new here and looking for our series

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Speaker 1: titled my husband has a secret son from a past partner,

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Speaker 1: just click the link in the show notes slash description,

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Speaker 1: or search mother May I, Okay Storytime wherever you get

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Speaker 1: your podcasts. I think my wife cheated on me. Now

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Speaker 1: she's refusing a paternity test for our child. Yeah. In

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Speaker 1: air quotes hour, my male forty four wife Cynthia forty

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Speaker 1: one female and I have been married for almost fifteen years. Wow.

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Speaker 1: I raised her older children as my own. We have

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Speaker 1: two kids together and one that she just gave birth to,

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Speaker 1: but I won't sign the birth certificate until I get

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Speaker 1: a DNA test.

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Speaker 3: Wow.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from Miserable Streets seven seven

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Speaker 1: seven on the archost Okay storytime saw about it. So

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Speaker 1: back in twenty fourteen, we had a huge crisis due

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Speaker 1: to her infidelity. You see, her affair partner was her supervisor,

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Speaker 1: and I only found out when she was abruptly fired

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Speaker 1: and the company filed a case against her for allegations

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Speaker 1: that I won't discuss you.

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Speaker 4: Oh, wow, mysterious undiscussable allegations. Okay, her supervisor was a

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Speaker 4: co defendant. She had to come clean about the whole thing,

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Speaker 4: including she had an affair that lasted two years.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I completely lost all trust in her. I requested

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Speaker 1: paternity tests on our kids together. They are mine, got

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Speaker 1: a lawyer and moved out. Wow. I eventually forgave her

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Speaker 1: and tried to move on because the pain of breaking

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Speaker 1: up our family and not seeing the kids every day

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Speaker 1: was unbearable. We had a very good run until now

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Speaker 1: our relationship fell stronger. The spicy sleep was spicy h literally,

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Speaker 1: as you said, until now, the spicy great. I felt

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Speaker 1: like she was the woman I fell in love with,

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Speaker 1: and I was very happy that I had given us

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Speaker 1: another chance this is going to end so well. Years ago,

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Speaker 1: her best friend, Dana female forty two, cut her off.

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Speaker 1: They were friends since grade school, but Dana abruptly ended

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Speaker 1: the friendship, changed her number, and even blocked me and

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Speaker 1: our older kids everywhere. Cynthia expressed sadness about it for

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Speaker 1: years and often talked about Dana like a true sister.

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Speaker 1: When my wife got pregnant with this last baby, she

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Speaker 1: got very depressed about everything. Dana was her go to

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Speaker 1: person in case of emergency, so I thought that maybe

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Speaker 1: some type of closure would help. I managed to get

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Speaker 1: Dana's contact information from a friend in common and asked

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Speaker 1: if she'd be willing to talk hole chat contact Dana

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Speaker 1: or nah contact contact or not contact or not. I'm

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Speaker 1: curious to hear your thoughts. Again. Dana kind of blocked everything,

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Speaker 1: but to my surprise, she was interested. The conversation wasn't

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Speaker 1: what I expected. She called me a flying monkey. She

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Speaker 1: called you a what had me young? And she called

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Speaker 1: me a flying called you, which again means someone that

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Speaker 1: helps exacerbate, someone who helps the wicked witch from the

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Speaker 1: Wizard of Oz. Yeah, we go, thank you, and said

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Speaker 1: I ought to be ashamed for enabling my wife. She

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Speaker 1: said she was absolutely fed up with Cynthia and that

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Speaker 1: she had abandoned the friendship because she got tired of

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Speaker 1: feeling like a tool, always having to do favors and

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Speaker 1: being generally at my wife's service. She said she was

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Speaker 1: unable to share anything because my wife only talked about herself,

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Speaker 1: and that my wife ailed to ever thank her for

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Speaker 1: gifts and other things, but kept raising the bar and

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Speaker 1: asking for more and more stuff from her. Oh that's dude,

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Speaker 1: what is she just like giving her stuff all the time?

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Speaker 1: She's like, up? What is this friendship? Is that Tina?

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Speaker 5: Again?

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Speaker 1: Tina just keeps popping up in our stories. She keeps

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Speaker 1: changing her identity to get more out of other people.

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Speaker 1: Data mentioned having attempted a slow fade, but my best friend,

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Speaker 1: Gary Mail forty eight stepped in and put her off tremendously.

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Speaker 1: I didn't know this. I didn't know Gary was sent

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Speaker 1: so make me tired, said by my wife to talk

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Speaker 1: to Dana out of restricting their time together when her

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Speaker 1: best friend became distant, and that he pressured her and

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Speaker 1: tried to force her to contact Cynthia, and that this

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Speaker 1: resulted in a complaint against him because his messages were

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Speaker 1: becoming menacing and hinted at sending her spywear. Hey, buddy,

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Speaker 1: maybe get it back on the rails. Dude, what are

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Speaker 1: you doing? What is wrong with everyone in Opie's life?

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Speaker 1: This is his whole circle is poisoned.

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Speaker 5: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I know Gary can be intense, but never like this.

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Speaker 1: He works in it. So the spyware apart is not

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Speaker 1: entirely impossible. Dana and Gary never had any prior contact

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Speaker 1: to this data cut off everyone out of distrust and

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Speaker 1: because she did not pursue a complaint against him with

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Speaker 1: the authorities, she sent me evidence, horse cap number and receipts.

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Speaker 6: Okay, sounds like she's got She's got receipts, she's got evidence.

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Speaker 1: Does your wife suck? Yes?

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Speaker 6: Is that?

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Speaker 1: Is that what we're looking at right now? And not

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Speaker 1: in the good way? You heard him?

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Speaker 7: For the record, Hey, you I'm hurt because not only

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Speaker 7: did he get in trouble for trying to help my wife,

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Speaker 7: but he actually got into a serious situation and it

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Speaker 7: was kept a secret from me.

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Speaker 1: I confronted him and he said that he was just

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Speaker 1: trying to help. I was just trying out, buddy, Sorry,

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Speaker 1: I was just trying to spine, your friend for you,

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Speaker 1: my bad, my bad partner. I'm sure a flawless impression. Gary,

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Speaker 1: Stop it, Come on, Gary. I confronted my wife and

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Speaker 1: she said she was desperate because Dana had always been

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Speaker 1: her main support system. This did it for me. I

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Speaker 1: don't care how many times my wife says nothing else

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Speaker 1: is going on. I have no way to erase the

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Speaker 1: idea that they might be hiding other things. The fact

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Speaker 1: that Cynthia managed to get Gary to do something that

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Speaker 1: he knows is illegal, and that he went too far

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Speaker 1: trying to please her makes me wonder about things. Also,

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Speaker 1: during our entire conversation, Dana insisted that Cynthia is a

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Speaker 1: black hole of a person and that she was disgusted

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Speaker 1: that not only my wife had been using her for years.

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Speaker 1: I would not think of anything of engaging third parties

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Speaker 1: to enable herself to keep extracting benefits for whoever she

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Speaker 1: wants to make matters worse. I asked if she knew

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Speaker 1: that my wife had cheated, and she said yes, and

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Speaker 1: that it played a part in her disowning her. I

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Speaker 1: will not even be able to go back to talking

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Speaker 1: with Dana because she made it clear that she wants

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Speaker 1: nothing further. Now, back in the day, I thought Gary

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Speaker 1: looked off, but when I asked, he said it was

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Speaker 1: about him separating from his ex and that he was

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Speaker 1: bummed out. So I talked to Cynthia about it, and

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Speaker 1: I told her that I reached out to Dana and

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Speaker 1: what she said. She looked horrified. We went over that

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Speaker 1: for days until I couldn't take it anymore, and I

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Speaker 1: finally asked if she and Gary had any time of

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Speaker 1: inappropriate involvement. I have a trade proposal. Talk to me.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna trade you what I thought was gonna happen. Yes,

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Speaker 6: for what I'm thinking now is gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Please, please, sir. She'd be cheating with that man. She'd

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Speaker 1: be cheating with that man. She'd be cheating. She be

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Speaker 1: cheating with that man. I just thought, Hey, that's a

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Speaker 1: trade proposal. Then what's my What do I get out?

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Speaker 6: I think my my previous theory was that she was

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Speaker 6: just generally unlikable.

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Speaker 1: I think you get that. Where's the quinn in my

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Speaker 1: pro quo? Also, now I feel that maybe her depression

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Speaker 1: over Dana wasn't real. Maybe she wanted to use that

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Speaker 1: so I couldn't accommodate her with whatever she wanted. I

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Speaker 1: requested a paternity test on the new baby, and she

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Speaker 1: flat out said no, what any innocent person would do.

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Speaker 1: She threatened to divorce me. This is why I moved

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Speaker 1: out weeks before she gave birth. I refused a drive

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Speaker 1: her to the hospital or be at the birthing room.

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Speaker 1: All I'm asking is for confirmation that it's my child

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Speaker 1: and she is an acting cooperative. She tried to deny

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Speaker 1: Dana's complaints to the authorities despite me offering evidence. Gary

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Speaker 1: has apologized for keeping secrets, but he's denying ever sleeping

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Speaker 1: with her.

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Speaker 6: I'm gonna say that that's a lie. Ooh, whoa, Gary's

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Speaker 6: lying crazy.

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Speaker 3: Oh, they're all telling the truth here, guys. Everyone's honest

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Speaker 3: and is a good person.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, the lies from before, they don't cow, they don't. Yes,

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Speaker 1: this is a joke that history cannot predict the future,

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Speaker 1: right man? No, it never does. Yeah, nothing, that history

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Speaker 1: doesn't repeat itself. It's the worst that history never repeats itself.

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Speaker 1: That's what they always say.

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Speaker 5: That's what they always say.

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Speaker 6: That's what I and I only know what they say

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Speaker 6: right now because I'm not a student of history.

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Speaker 1: I'm anxious, but sometimes I get very numb and wonder

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Speaker 1: if I'm being crazy. I understand that Dana was very

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Speaker 1: right to act the way she did, but I have

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Speaker 1: no evidence of cheating or an affair between Cynthia and Gary.

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Speaker 1: This has affected my health and sometimes I feel that

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Speaker 1: the less I see or hear from Cynthia, the less

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Speaker 1: chances to get an anxiety or panic attack. By the way,

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Speaker 1: if you want to avoid any sort of anxiety in

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Speaker 1: your life, then guys, we have full episodes of stories

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Speaker 1: just like these. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or

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Speaker 1: your favorite podcast platform and type in okay, storytime, anxiety guard,

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Speaker 1: Am I right? Chat poof, poof gone?

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Speaker 3: You're always right, John.

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Speaker 1: These statements have not been evaluated by the FDA. They've

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Speaker 1: been valuated by me. Yeah, which is a fact, which

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Speaker 1: is all that matters. Stay up of John approval. But

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Speaker 1: let's uh, let's let's let's talk about this. So who

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Speaker 1: uh we got a lot going on here now. Oftentimes

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Speaker 1: in these stories, when when the when the guy, usually

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Speaker 1: the guy goes on some red pill, you know, forums

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Speaker 1: and is like, my child is not mine, and uh,

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Speaker 1: I need a paternity test. It's exactly it, right, But

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Speaker 1: question dear Dakota in this case with with proven court documents,

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Speaker 1: Actually no, I think I think it's.

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Speaker 6: Like, are there possible reasons for her to outright reject

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Speaker 6: getting the test, the paternity test, like sure, but throwing

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Speaker 6: the divorce ultimatum on top. Yeah, where it's like if

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Speaker 6: it's like, oh, well, if then I will divorce if

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Speaker 6: we do it, then it's like, well then shouldn't you

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Speaker 6: already want a divorce now? If you're already willing to divorce,

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Speaker 6: shouldn't you just divorce because he wants to?

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Speaker 1: They like it.

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Speaker 6: It feels like it's like a threat so that I'm like, stop,

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Speaker 6: stop looking into this immediately, she stop, or I'll divorce you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And also, you've just had so many stories where

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Speaker 1: like from like the woman's perspective where she was like, hey,

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Speaker 1: my husband went on the red pill forums. He's saying this,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, while I am immensely offended, I want

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Speaker 1: to absolutely prove you wrong. So yes, I will take

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Speaker 1: the test. But it is you know, it's so painful

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Speaker 1: that you're doing. I feel like if that was the case,

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Speaker 1: I feel like her response would have been at least

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Speaker 1: more like that way different it would have been where

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Speaker 1: it would not have been divorce. No, yeah, no test divorce.

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Speaker 1: It would have been like, Okay, where is this coming from?

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Speaker 1: And also you're an idiot? Yeah obviously, Opie says. My

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Speaker 1: family knows that we are separated and are showing divided opinions.

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Speaker 1: Some say that I am impulsive, and then I'm jumping

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Speaker 1: to conclusions they didn't know about her cheating years ago.

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Speaker 1: I'm not meeting the new baby until she can prove

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Speaker 1: my paternity. She's having health issues related to post birth.

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Speaker 1: I'm present for my kids and haven't skipped on my duties,

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Speaker 1: but told her either to have a relative come help

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Speaker 1: her out or move to their place temporarily because I

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Speaker 1: will not be helping her in any way until this

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Speaker 1: is resolved. She says that I'm being abusive and that

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Speaker 1: being alone in the maternity ward was humiliating. Am I

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Speaker 1: the ahole? And we have a few cook edits edit

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Speaker 1: for grammar nice Edit number two to add that Gary

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Speaker 1: hasn't been proactive and is very silent now. At at

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Speaker 1: number three, my wife says that she won't agree to

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Speaker 1: the DNA because I'm ruining our marriage. Well, we do

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Speaker 1: have some comments here. Comment number one even if the

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Speaker 1: baby is yours, you need to get therapy and divorce

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Speaker 1: your wife. Your wife seems like a terrible person, and

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Speaker 1: Dana was right when she called you an enabler. A

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Speaker 1: reply from another commenter, why would his wife refuse a

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Speaker 1: DNA test unless there was a chance the baby isn't his?

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Speaker 1: He needs therapy and a lawyer for sure. Another reply.

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Speaker 1: If I had a history of cheating and my husband

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Speaker 1: asked for a DNA test on my baby and I

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Speaker 1: knew I didn't currently cheat, I'd happily do it knowing

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Speaker 1: he was the father. She's a shady bee. Comment number two.

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Speaker 1: Request for a judge to make her give you the

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Speaker 1: portunity test, and please after that divorce, you can take

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Speaker 1: care of your children even without her. Someone replies, can

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Speaker 1: you just cut a straight a hair off the baby

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Speaker 1: and have it tested? Or do you have to draw

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Speaker 1: blood for these tests? Comment number three not the ahole.

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Speaker 1: Your marriage is over, regardless of the babies is yours

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Speaker 1: or not. She is a lying, manipulative, untrustworthy person. Get divorced,

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Speaker 1: Get rid of Gary too. Comm At number four, your

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Speaker 1: marriage is over, dude, Get a divorce that sounds like

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Speaker 1: us and that's it. That is the end. Your marriage

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Speaker 1: is over, dude, get a divorce.

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Speaker 5: My family ignored and excluded me because of my diagnosis.

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Speaker 5: Now they're reaching out too little, too ags, like.

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Speaker 6: The stinky crawlers are crawling back.

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Speaker 5: I was recently diagnosed with autism earlier this year, at

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Speaker 5: thirty two years old. Prior to my diagnosis, I had

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Speaker 5: always felt that there was something off of me, but

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Speaker 5: as a high masking woman, I always assumed it was

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Speaker 5: just a personality deficit. Some of my symptoms include noise sensitivity.

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Speaker 5: By the way, this comes from dam legs no and

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Speaker 5: if you want to submit your own stories, good our

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Speaker 5: slashokey story time separate it. So over the last few years,

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Speaker 5: my ability to mask had decreased, and it became harder

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Speaker 5: and harder to function appropriately in my immigrant household. Due

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Speaker 5: to some administrative issues with my medical school, I had

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Speaker 5: to move home for a year before returning for clinical rotations.

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Speaker 5: During this time, I was increasingly stressed and focused on

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Speaker 5: completing my research assignments and working my part time job.

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Speaker 5: In order to cope, I used to wear my AirPods

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Speaker 5: around the house, to which my parents would call me

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Speaker 5: blatantly rude. I would sequester myself to my room and

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Speaker 5: try to avoid upsetting them in one way or another.

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Speaker 5: But this became an issue as well, stating I was

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Speaker 5: in my own world and that I'm not actively participating

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Speaker 5: with my family. My mother even asked, what do you

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Speaker 5: even contribute to this family? When they would yell at

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Speaker 5: me and call me stupid, I would shut down, well that.

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Speaker 6: Hey, yeah, they that certainly sounds like a fun time.

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Speaker 6: Why wouldn't you want to do more of that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: No, I don't think this is a healthy environment. When

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Speaker 5: they asked me to explain my behavior, I would get

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Speaker 5: nervous and have issues verbally communicating. I would take too

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Speaker 5: long to speak and they would just yell at me

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Speaker 5: or make fun of me for the thirty second pauses

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Speaker 5: I would take before responding. During one conversation, my father

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Speaker 5: would call me a dangerous person because I was getting

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Speaker 5: confused with the issue at hand and brought up an

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Speaker 5: issue I thought was relevant. During one of my shutdowns,

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Speaker 5: I failed my board exam The same day my dog

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Speaker 5: got attacked and was in the hospital. I had a

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Speaker 5: really hard time functioning. My mom kept asking me about

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Speaker 5: the exam and why I couldn't get it together. As

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Speaker 5: well as an upcoming test date, and I told her

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Speaker 5: I didn't want to talk about it. So my family

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Speaker 5: collectively decided to ignore me for three days.

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Speaker 6: Oh my god, you guys might be the reason Op's

305
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Speaker 6: so stressed.

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Speaker 5: Alsis you guys suck? What's wrong with you? My dad said,

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Speaker 5: if it were up to him, they would have ignored

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Speaker 5: me for a whole week. At the beginning of the summer,

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Speaker 5: my mom had gotten a neat replacement. During this time,

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Speaker 5: I was studying for my step exam med school exam,

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Speaker 5: so I was always wearing my AirPods listening to study material.

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Speaker 5: In between question blocks, I would come see if my

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Speaker 5: mom needed anything. My parents wouldn't coordinate with me when

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Speaker 5: I was needed to take her to PETE. I was

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Speaker 5: just told that I should have known and been okay

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Speaker 5: with dropping everything to take her wherever and whenever she

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Speaker 5: needed to go somewhere. Mind you, my exam was within

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Speaker 5: a week. When I told my mom I needed to

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Speaker 5: study and didn't have time to go grocery shopping, stay

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Speaker 5: out for a long lunch, and stay for the full petee,

321
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Speaker 5: I was told I didn't respect her or care for her.

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Speaker 5: She and my dad told me I was a poor

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Speaker 5: excuse for a daughter. Oh my god, your parents suck.

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Speaker 5: My parents said I was a bad sister because even

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Speaker 5: though I drove three one way hours after work at

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Speaker 5: four am to her graduation, prepped and decorated for her

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Speaker 5: grad party, I should have had a speech prepared. I

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Speaker 5: couldn't do it. I was surrounded by a bunch of

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Speaker 5: people and I was grossly overstimulated. I wanted to be supportive,

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Speaker 5: and I thought by planning and organizing her party that

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Speaker 5: would have been enough. Yes, it should have been, yeah,

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Speaker 5: but it wasn't. At the end of the summer, my

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00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,960
Speaker 5: family collectively decided that I was a crappy person who

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Speaker 5: deserved to be alone. Luckily, by that time, I had

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Speaker 5: moved out of state to start my clinical rotations. I

336
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Speaker 5: was away from home for three months. During that time,

337
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 5: I had spoken to them a few times, but I

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00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:24,160
Speaker 5: got overwhelmed with school and keeping up with responsibilities of

339
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Speaker 5: living back on my own. No one called me. I

340
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Speaker 5: had to call that. During winter break, I came back

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Speaker 5: to my hometown but stayed with my boyfriend so I

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Speaker 5: could study for my shelf exam. The day after my exam,

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Speaker 5: my boyfriend proposed, Yeah, exctly, and I called and texted

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Speaker 5: my family to tell them the news. They were excited

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Speaker 5: in the extended family group chat, but didn't answer any

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Speaker 5: of my calls. Christmas Eve, I texted to see when

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Speaker 5: they would be home so we could hang out. They said, sorry,

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00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:56,120
Speaker 5: they're busy Christmas busy. Then day after Christmas, I texted

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Speaker 5: my mom to see when I could bring their presence

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Speaker 5: over and she agreed to.

351
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Speaker 6: Me, I'm confused what you're busy doing Christmas?

352
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Speaker 1: On Christmas?

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Speaker 6: What do you mean the thing that business trying to

354
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Speaker 6: be involved with you?

355
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Speaker 5: I don't get Yeah, she said, the entire extended family, aunts, uncles, cousins,

356
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Speaker 5: we're all celebrating the holidays at our new vacation house

357
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Speaker 5: in Mexico, twenty minute drive away. She said that if

358
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Speaker 5: I had been a better communicator, maybe I would have

359
00:17:20,720 --> 00:17:22,440
Speaker 5: been invited, but I wasn't.

360
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Speaker 1: She quite literally asked, you, Hey, what are what are

361
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:26,320
Speaker 1: we doing?

362
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Speaker 6: And you said no, we're busy. So you actually excluded

363
00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,359
Speaker 6: Opie purposefully, And now you want to make it seem

364
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,919
Speaker 6: like what it's it's Oh Pea's fault that they didn't go.

365
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Speaker 3: Come on, the family's being a real Tom petty right now, now, this.

366
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Speaker 6: Is the moment when I would say, hey, this is

367
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Speaker 6: where we learn how to let things roll off our bag. Right. Clearly,

368
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,800
Speaker 6: your family is like wants nothing to do with you,

369
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Speaker 6: and it's not your fault. So you just move on

370
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Speaker 6: with your life and let these people come crawling back

371
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Speaker 6: to you.

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Speaker 1: Right. You don't know how you say? You gross? No,

373
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Speaker 1: thanks to stay on the ground.

374
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Speaker 5: I wasn't invited to my family's holidays celebration because I

375
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Speaker 5: didn't specifically ask what the family was doing for Christmas

376
00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:06,600
Speaker 5: to New Year's. I didn't celebrate my engagement with anyone

377
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:09,200
Speaker 5: in my family. I cried the whole week. I have

378
00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 5: always felt different. I never knew what to say or do.

379
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:15,520
Speaker 5: I never knew how to behave or withstand my sensitivities.

380
00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 5: I have a hard time communicating verbally or even defending myself.

381
00:18:19,240 --> 00:18:22,159
Speaker 5: After all of this, I sought out a diagnosis, and

382
00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 5: to no surprise of my own, I do in fact

383
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Speaker 5: have autism. But now that I have this realization, what

384
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,920
Speaker 5: do I do? How can I fix myself?

385
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:30,160
Speaker 1: No?

386
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,000
Speaker 5: I haven't spoken to anyone in my family except my

387
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 5: mom twice since then. How can I explain to them

388
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Speaker 5: that I didn't do any of that to be mean

389
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,120
Speaker 5: to them. I don't want to use autism as an excuse,

390
00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,879
Speaker 5: but as context to my actions. How with this context

391
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,520
Speaker 5: do I get them to love oh sush like me again.

392
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,560
Speaker 5: I don't even want to plan a wedding because I

393
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 5: feel like an orphan. It's been six months since they

394
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 5: have spoken to me, but yesterday I received a text

395
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,119
Speaker 5: message letting me know that they would be in my

396
00:18:56,200 --> 00:18:58,760
Speaker 5: city due to a long layover, and that they I'm

397
00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,320
Speaker 5: assuming just my mom to come see me. I'm not

398
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,800
Speaker 5: sure if I can handle seeing them. I don't particularly

399
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:05,800
Speaker 5: want them in my home. I don't want to have

400
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:08,119
Speaker 5: them in my safe space. If I say no, is

401
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:11,160
Speaker 5: that them giving themselves AMMO? I don't know what they

402
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,960
Speaker 5: want or why they decided to contact me. I don't

403
00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,720
Speaker 5: even know what to say if I do agree to

404
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,040
Speaker 5: see them. I'm so angry, so confused, and so hurt.

405
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 5: I have so many important things coming up, and I

406
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,080
Speaker 5: don't want to be a shell of myself because I

407
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,560
Speaker 5: have to deal with family stuff. Should I see them

408
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,840
Speaker 5: and there is an update now? No, I honestly think

409
00:19:28,880 --> 00:19:31,679
Speaker 5: that right now you haven't done anything wrong. There is

410
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:34,560
Speaker 5: nothing to fix you are. This is you, This is

411
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,960
Speaker 5: just who you are, and your family doesn't want to

412
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:41,239
Speaker 5: accept or even like try and understand you. And if you,

413
00:19:41,520 --> 00:19:44,120
Speaker 5: I think, if you want to have a relationship with them,

414
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,040
Speaker 5: at some point you could say in response to this

415
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 5: request to meet up with you, you could say, hey, you

416
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:53,239
Speaker 5: guys have like been very disrespectful and very hurtful and

417
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,080
Speaker 5: you know, hurt my feelings many many times, and I

418
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:57,840
Speaker 5: don't want to see you this time. Maybe in the

419
00:19:57,880 --> 00:19:59,879
Speaker 5: future that will change, but right now, you guys have

420
00:20:00,359 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 5: you know, not earned that something along those lines where

421
00:20:04,040 --> 00:20:07,520
Speaker 5: you communicate to them what they've done, but you also

422
00:20:07,560 --> 00:20:10,520
Speaker 5: make sure that your emotions and your mental health is okay.

423
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:12,479
Speaker 6: But there's enough to Yeah, I would just focus on

424
00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 6: my relationship with my new husband if I was opening. Yeah,

425
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 6: there's there's nothing you need to salvage there. It's like

426
00:20:19,840 --> 00:20:22,000
Speaker 6: I know, culturally, a lot of times there's there can

427
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:25,320
Speaker 6: be a lot of huge emphasis on family and that

428
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,679
Speaker 6: it's like this the obligation that cannot be broken no

429
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 6: matter what. But it's like these people have given you

430
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,440
Speaker 6: nothing but like.

431
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Speaker 1: Grief for you just being who you are, and.

432
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Speaker 6: You wouldn't be the one sort of throwing that relationship away.

433
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:44,960
Speaker 6: It would it was them their actions eroded your relationship

434
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 6: with them to a little nub of nothingness. And if

435
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:53,160
Speaker 6: you put this this dynamic in the context of anything

436
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:56,959
Speaker 6: that wasn't family, immediately it would be like, well, of

437
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,439
Speaker 6: course you're not gonna if these were your like friend group,

438
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,240
Speaker 6: of of course you would not be hanging out with

439
00:21:01,280 --> 00:21:03,119
Speaker 6: these people again. Yeah, of course you wouldn't give them

440
00:21:03,119 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 6: the time of day. Just because they're like sharing your

441
00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,879
Speaker 6: DNA doesn't excuse the way that they've treated you, or

442
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,600
Speaker 6: that they will likely continue to treat you. So I

443
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:11,960
Speaker 6: would say, just move on in peace.

444
00:21:12,760 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 5: That's my take a fair but there is an update.

445
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,600
Speaker 5: I first want to say thank you to everyone who

446
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,879
Speaker 5: commented and DM me with advice and support. I definitely

447
00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 5: carried your support with me into the meeting. I also

448
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,000
Speaker 5: want to say sorry for the late update. I was

449
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:27,880
Speaker 5: emotionally burned out that I didn't even start to process

450
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:32,439
Speaker 5: what happened until yesterday. Anyway, here is what My parents

451
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 5: arrived in the morning to my area. I took you

452
00:21:35,760 --> 00:21:38,400
Speaker 5: all's advice and decided to meet them in a neutral

453
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,440
Speaker 5: space a tea shop, as I suspected my father did

454
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 5: not come. My mother's excuse was that he had to

455
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,640
Speaker 5: stay and watch the luggage, apparently it wouldn't have fit

456
00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,560
Speaker 5: in an uber. When my mother arrived, she seemed excited

457
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 5: to see me and was trying to update me on

458
00:21:51,320 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 5: their vacations. She just why we didn't meet at my house,

459
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:55,200
Speaker 5: and I stated that I was too busy at the

460
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:57,760
Speaker 5: hospital to stay at home. Waiting for about fifteen minutes,

461
00:21:57,800 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 5: she kept trying to get me to tell her updates

462
00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,680
Speaker 5: about my life, life and current school deadlines, just more

463
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:05,959
Speaker 5: small talk that kept going around in circles. She remarked

464
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 5: on my engagement ring and said she had only ever

465
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 5: seen in photographs. I reminded her that she did in

466
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 5: fact see it when I came to visit in December,

467
00:22:13,920 --> 00:22:16,880
Speaker 5: two days after proposing, but she wasn't interested in it.

468
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:19,080
Speaker 5: Then she then tried to take my car and filled

469
00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:21,280
Speaker 5: up my gas tank and order food so I would

470
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:24,479
Speaker 5: have groceries. I declined both, since one of her favorite

471
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 5: insults is that I only care about money and that

472
00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,360
Speaker 5: I wouldn't have gotten this far in my schooling without her.

473
00:22:29,520 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 5: I kept getting more and more frustrated with the topics

474
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,840
Speaker 5: and finally just asked why she came. She acted surprised

475
00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,000
Speaker 5: and said, why wouldn't I come see you if I

476
00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 5: was in town?

477
00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,240
Speaker 6: Do you want the cliff notes or do you want

478
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,280
Speaker 6: the entire laundry list of reasons.

479
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,120
Speaker 5: I lost it, I said, after the way things were

480
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:49,639
Speaker 5: left in December, my engagement in being left out of

481
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 5: Christmas and New Year's I was shocked that she would

482
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:54,680
Speaker 5: come see me and act like nothing happened. My mother

483
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,679
Speaker 5: was gobsmacked, like surprised Pikachu face. She said she was

484
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 5: shocked that I left the conversation in December feeling badly,

485
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:03,639
Speaker 5: and she didn't think the meeting went poorly, as a

486
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 5: good medical student does. I elicited her perspective to see

487
00:23:07,080 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 5: how she perceived Christmas to Ucohn. She said she wished

488
00:23:09,840 --> 00:23:12,240
Speaker 5: I was there, but it was just a misopportunity. I

489
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 5: let her know that because of that conversation, I had

490
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 5: decided I wasn't interested in being a part of a

491
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 5: dysfunctional and abusive family. I brought up all the scenarios

492
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 5: I mentioned in the original post and said that nothing

493
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,200
Speaker 5: that I did warranted that level of abuse. I told

494
00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:28,600
Speaker 5: her that I already know how this conversation will pan

495
00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 5: out her crying and expecting me to comfort her and

496
00:23:32,080 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 5: apologize for making her upset, as well as telling my

497
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,280
Speaker 5: dad I was disrespectful and for him to bang on

498
00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:38,879
Speaker 5: my door at night just to yell at me and

499
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,080
Speaker 5: call me names. I told her that if she's going

500
00:23:41,119 --> 00:23:43,800
Speaker 5: to continue to act surprised, she can just call an

501
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:45,679
Speaker 5: uber and leave. I told her that all of the

502
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,639
Speaker 5: verbal abuse and name calling I no longer wanted to

503
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,280
Speaker 5: participate in. I gave her all the examples of how

504
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:54,000
Speaker 5: she co signed the abuse, and she had nothing to say.

505
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 5: She then tried to take all of the negative statements

506
00:23:56,240 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 5: she had said and correct them, saying I'm not stupid

507
00:23:59,040 --> 00:24:01,879
Speaker 5: and that I'm family oriented, but she only applied it

508
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:05,400
Speaker 5: to my cousins, not my parents or sisters. I asked

509
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,399
Speaker 5: her if she had taken the time to understand my

510
00:24:07,520 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 5: diagnosis to what she said, well, I looked a little

511
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:14,640
Speaker 5: into neurodiversions, but not autism specific. A little background here.

512
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,320
Speaker 5: My mother is also a counselor and therapist. Yeah, not

513
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 5: a very good one.

514
00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 1: She's double me.

515
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:23,679
Speaker 6: She's I'm conspiracy, She's lying right now, She's probably she

516
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:27,760
Speaker 6: probably knows exactly how to God. She she probably has

517
00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,840
Speaker 6: all of the sort of point A, point B, point cee,

518
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,720
Speaker 6: how to manipulate somebody who has, you know, your diagnosis

519
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:38,160
Speaker 6: right where it's like, oh, actually, no, you just misunderstood

520
00:24:38,200 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 6: what was going on in December. So no, I'm not

521
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:41,359
Speaker 6: even mad. It was just a missed opportunity. So now

522
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,040
Speaker 6: you're negating the negative experience that was happening. You're trying

523
00:24:44,040 --> 00:24:45,640
Speaker 6: to make it like it never happened, and you're trying

524
00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:48,119
Speaker 6: to make ope go, oh wait, did I misinterpret that?

525
00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 1: Oh?

526
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:49,919
Speaker 6: I guess I wasn't the wrong. Oh, I guess my

527
00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:51,919
Speaker 6: mom is right. I guess my mom is good. And

528
00:24:51,960 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 6: instead she's like, actually, I'm very confident in my ability

529
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 6: to perceive what had happened in the past. Exactly, I'm

530
00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,080
Speaker 6: not gonna let you rewrite it right now, and you're gonna.

531
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:03,000
Speaker 5: Let her Uh. I brought up how she said I

532
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 5: was a bad daughter and that I had missed so

533
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,959
Speaker 5: many opportunities to be a good daughter. I said, and

534
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 5: just like I missed opportunities, so did you. I let

535
00:25:10,560 --> 00:25:12,440
Speaker 5: her know that when I was struggling with my mental

536
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,439
Speaker 5: health and was dealing with wanting to take my life

537
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,199
Speaker 5: a few years back, I had, in fact attempted to

538
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 5: do it, although she knew my whole family knew, she

539
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 5: never checked in on me and my mental health, instead

540
00:25:23,480 --> 00:25:25,680
Speaker 5: asking me why I never inquired about our new job

541
00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:28,399
Speaker 5: in our recent move. Her response has actually eft with

542
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 5: my brain, my heart, my soul, my sense of importance

543
00:25:32,040 --> 00:25:34,720
Speaker 5: to anyone. She said, oh, yeah, I need a pass.

544
00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,159
Speaker 5: On that year, there were a lot of things going on.

545
00:25:37,480 --> 00:25:39,960
Speaker 5: I paused and said, I'm going to say back to

546
00:25:40,000 --> 00:25:44,040
Speaker 5: you what you just said. I tried to unlive myself,

547
00:25:44,200 --> 00:25:47,160
Speaker 5: and you said you need a pass in twenty eighteen

548
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:50,640
Speaker 5: because you had a lot going on. She doubled down,

549
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 5: then said, oops, am I talking too much? I realized

550
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:55,720
Speaker 5: at that moment I wasn't going to reach her ever.

551
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:58,399
Speaker 5: I told her I'd tried to unlive myself and needed her,

552
00:25:58,440 --> 00:25:59,879
Speaker 5: and she said she needed a pass for a no

553
00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 5: being there. She was so delusional and ignorant to the

554
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 5: entire fallout. I don't think she could even process there

555
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,639
Speaker 5: was a serious cognitive dissonance that didn't allow her to

556
00:26:09,680 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 5: be honest about the situation. She then apologized for causing

557
00:26:12,480 --> 00:26:14,560
Speaker 5: so much harm and suffering and said she was seeing

558
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:16,560
Speaker 5: a therapist and what's going to do that work.

559
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:18,960
Speaker 3: She's seeing herself in the mirror. Yeah, she's like, you're

560
00:26:19,000 --> 00:26:21,560
Speaker 3: a good mom, You're a good mom.

561
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,520
Speaker 1: Mission complete.

562
00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 5: I told her, I'm opting out of contact until she

563
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 5: actually does the work, which is very smart, and you

564
00:26:28,080 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 5: guys can do the work. To listen to full episodes

565
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:33,480
Speaker 5: of stories just like this, just go to Apple Podcasts,

566
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:36,119
Speaker 5: Spotify or your favorite podcast s app and search up.

567
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:39,720
Speaker 1: Okay, storytime super easy, easy.

568
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 5: Easy, But there is a little bit left to the story.

569
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 6: Yeah, I think clearly. I wouldn't even say, like, open

570
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,960
Speaker 6: up your I would say go no contact. It's probably

571
00:26:47,040 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 6: hard for you to see it from that perspective because

572
00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 6: it's like you are her daughter and she's your mom.

573
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 6: But like from an outside perspective, at least to me,

574
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,480
Speaker 6: it's like she seems like she's like just turbocharge, Yeah,

575
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 6: manipulating you, like like you were her little puppet that

576
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 6: she used to make dance around, like to that level.

577
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:05,120
Speaker 6: And it's like, no, thanks, you can completely cut her out,

578
00:27:06,119 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 6: you are, Yeah, flick her away, get her out of there.

579
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:11,199
Speaker 5: I told her it wasn't my responsibility to teach her

580
00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:14,959
Speaker 5: about my disability nor where she went wrong. In her relationship.

581
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,280
Speaker 5: She asked if I would call more, and I said

582
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 5: she needs to do the work. I sent her on

583
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,280
Speaker 5: her way and then cried in the car the whole

584
00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:25,080
Speaker 5: way home. Still haven't heard from her since. My feelings

585
00:27:25,119 --> 00:27:27,919
Speaker 5: are all the way art. I just feel bad as

586
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 5: bad as I did in December. I don't know what

587
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:31,760
Speaker 5: I was thinking, but I was let down. I think

588
00:27:31,800 --> 00:27:34,680
Speaker 5: I need to let the hope pass away. I'm going

589
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 5: to go forward on wedding planning without the hope of

590
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:40,600
Speaker 5: having my family present. Sorry for the jumbled mess. I'm

591
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:44,080
Speaker 5: still a bit shaken, and that is the end of

592
00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 5: that story. But yeah, I think right now it is

593
00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,000
Speaker 5: best to just kind of limit any like most of

594
00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,800
Speaker 5: her contact with your parents until they do that work

595
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,200
Speaker 5: and show you that they deserve to be in your life,

596
00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:55,160
Speaker 5: because right now they don't.

597
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:55,640
Speaker 8: Yeah.

598
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,400
Speaker 6: I don't know if the mom will ever.

599
00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, it might not ever happen, which is very sad.

600
00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:02,600
Speaker 5: But you have your partner who seems like a good

601
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 5: person and is on your side, and just see, Yeah,

602
00:28:06,040 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 5: I know that your your parents are not going don't

603
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 5: seem capable of apologizing or understanding what they did wrong.

604
00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:14,800
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam, We're gonna get back to the stories,

605
00:28:14,800 --> 00:28:16,600
Speaker 2: but here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

606
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 6: My mother mocked me for wanting to wear a suit

607
00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 6: to prom, so I defended myself.

608
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:23,399
Speaker 1: Good.

609
00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:25,520
Speaker 5: You probably looked so much better than her, and she

610
00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 5: was jealous.

611
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 6: For context, I am in my last year of high

612
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 6: school and I'm going to be having my prom at

613
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,280
Speaker 6: the end of the year. Many have already started looking

614
00:28:33,280 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 6: for or have bought what they will be wearing. I

615
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,520
Speaker 6: usually am not a big fan of dresses, as I'm

616
00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:40,040
Speaker 6: not very comfortable wearing those. By the way, this comes

617
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,160
Speaker 6: from user tired lol l and if you want to

618
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:45,040
Speaker 6: submit your own stories, go do it at the r

619
00:28:45,120 --> 00:28:48,960
Speaker 6: slash Okay story time Sabreddit. So now I know that

620
00:28:49,040 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 6: compared to others, I'm not really what you would call overweight,

621
00:28:51,760 --> 00:28:53,960
Speaker 6: but I know I am fall from skinny and have

622
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:56,600
Speaker 6: always had issues with my image from a young age,

623
00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:58,640
Speaker 6: though in the last few years I've lost a bit

624
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 6: of weight, but not necessarily in the healthiest ways. Added

625
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:03,960
Speaker 6: to the fact that I've often been made fun of

626
00:29:04,160 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 6: for my weight and how much I eat, not only

627
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 6: by kids at school, but also my family, including my mother. Yeah,

628
00:29:10,120 --> 00:29:12,200
Speaker 6: the more I was looking through pictures of dresses and

629
00:29:12,320 --> 00:29:14,640
Speaker 6: prauma tires, the more I realized that wearing one of

630
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 6: those would be an issue for me and my self esteem.

631
00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,080
Speaker 6: While looking, I came across this image of a girl

632
00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,719
Speaker 6: wearing a darkish red suit with a black corset as

633
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 6: a top instead of a blouse type prom suits women

634
00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,120
Speaker 6: in Pinterest and you should find it, and so far

635
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,959
Speaker 6: that's really been what I've been set on wearing.

636
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:33,600
Speaker 1: Sophia's immediately gone. So I really like it.

637
00:29:33,600 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 6: It's in my style, and since it's a corset, I

638
00:29:35,840 --> 00:29:38,280
Speaker 6: think I should be comfortable with myself wearing it since

639
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,440
Speaker 6: it would hide my body more than a dress wood

640
00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,520
Speaker 6: And anyway, I've always been more comfortable with jumpsuits and pants,

641
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:46,360
Speaker 6: et cetera. And that's a known fact to people around

642
00:29:46,400 --> 00:29:49,160
Speaker 6: me now. My family is very religious and not very

643
00:29:49,200 --> 00:29:53,240
Speaker 6: open minded regarding many topics, especially my grandmother with whom

644
00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 6: we live. I've tried bringing the topic up to my mother,

645
00:29:56,040 --> 00:29:58,960
Speaker 6: but every time she hasn't taken me seriously and instead

646
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,520
Speaker 6: makes jokes about it, or has simply ignored me and

647
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:02,400
Speaker 6: been telling me we.

648
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: Should go out to look for dresses.

649
00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,480
Speaker 6: A few days ago, I tried bringing up the topic again,

650
00:30:06,560 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 6: but she mostly just made fun of me and dismissed me.

651
00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,120
Speaker 6: My grandmother got involved, and my mother summed up the

652
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 6: situation to her in only one sentence in a way

653
00:30:14,760 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 6: that I know she knew would get a reaction out

654
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 6: of her. She wants to wear pants at her prom.

655
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 6: You know what, that is the weirdest thing about like

656
00:30:22,320 --> 00:30:26,920
Speaker 6: really conservative like Christianity to me, women can't wear pants

657
00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 6: literally Like it's it's really see like it's weird, it's

658
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,520
Speaker 6: vis strange. It's not even like it's the first time

659
00:30:34,600 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 6: she has done something like that. She often tries to

660
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 6: manipulate the situation to get my grandmother on her side

661
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,800
Speaker 6: and make me look bad in front of her because

662
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,560
Speaker 6: she knows how much my grandma loves me. Unfortunately for me,

663
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,400
Speaker 6: it works. Let's just say it wasn't a fun night

664
00:30:47,480 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 6: for me, but my mother, oh, she was all smiles.

665
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,480
Speaker 6: Fast forward to yesterday. I was still upset at my mother,

666
00:30:53,680 --> 00:30:56,520
Speaker 6: not just because of the whole prom situation, but just

667
00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 6: for her overall behavior with me in the last few

668
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:02,520
Speaker 6: months the things mentioned before, never apologizing for making me

669
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:05,520
Speaker 6: visibly upset, even after telling her that she has upset

670
00:31:05,680 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 6: or hurt me, always having something negative to say about me,

671
00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:11,440
Speaker 6: my interests, and my choices, forcing me into close I

672
00:31:11,480 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 6: hate for multiple events, and going to get a hairstyle

673
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,080
Speaker 6: I said I didn't like for my graduation picture. A

674
00:31:16,120 --> 00:31:18,080
Speaker 6: few weeks ago, while I was getting dressed like I

675
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 6: was in underwear, she came to me, trying to joke

676
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:22,640
Speaker 6: around and hug me, knowing that I don't like hugs

677
00:31:22,680 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 6: and often ask her not to. When she noticed I

678
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,400
Speaker 6: still looked upset, she asked me, laughing if I was

679
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:31,640
Speaker 6: actually mad because of yesterday? Why are you so bad

680
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:32,720
Speaker 6: at being cool?

681
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,320
Speaker 5: You're really bad at being in parent?

682
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 8: Why are you so bad?

683
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:37,800
Speaker 5: You should go to school for this because you.

684
00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: Need to learn.

685
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:40,920
Speaker 5: You need to learn how to do it, because you're

686
00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,160
Speaker 5: doing a pretty poor job now.

687
00:31:43,760 --> 00:31:46,360
Speaker 6: I usually never tell her much about how I feel,

688
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:48,720
Speaker 6: because it always turns into her yelling and insulting me,

689
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:50,400
Speaker 6: and me standing there and taking it.

690
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,240
Speaker 1: But I don't know.

691
00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:53,960
Speaker 6: I guess I had had enough of always keeping everything

692
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 6: in just to not have to endure another one of

693
00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 6: her lectures. I tried staying calm, explaining that it wasn't

694
00:31:59,120 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 6: just about what she had said and done the day before,

695
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 6: but just what she says and does in general, and.

696
00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:04,800
Speaker 1: How it's affecting me.

697
00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:07,560
Speaker 6: How any time I try to show something I like

698
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:10,320
Speaker 6: that I'm proud of, that I want to do, she

699
00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 6: always has to put it down. But of course I'm

700
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 6: so sensitive and emotional that I started tearing up, making

701
00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 6: things worse, I guess. She then started going on this

702
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:21,320
Speaker 6: whole angry rant about how she can never say anything

703
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:23,920
Speaker 6: to me and that I'm so sensitive and always taking

704
00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 6: things personally.

705
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,840
Speaker 1: She said that for the suit thing, it's that when

706
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,760
Speaker 1: girls wear suits, everyone knows that it's because they're lesbian.

707
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:33,040
Speaker 5: Why is that a bad thing?

708
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:33,520
Speaker 3: Mother?

709
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 5: Why is that bad? That pretty pretty girls wear pretty

710
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:39,120
Speaker 5: pretty dresses?

711
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:41,400
Speaker 6: And that this is not what I'm supposed to be

712
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,400
Speaker 6: wearing at a ball, that prom is still pretty far away,

713
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 6: and that there's no need for me to fixate on

714
00:32:46,240 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 6: those things now, that when I'm fixated on something, we

715
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:51,360
Speaker 6: can never change my mind, that I'm focused on that

716
00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 6: and get tunnel vision. That because of that, she can

717
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,040
Speaker 6: never say anything and never have an opinion that, and

718
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,080
Speaker 6: that it's like I want her to be a mindless,

719
00:32:59,200 --> 00:33:01,920
Speaker 6: opinionless mother, just there to satisfy and support my every

720
00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:04,040
Speaker 6: desire idea and fantasy.

721
00:33:04,240 --> 00:33:06,480
Speaker 1: Hey, dude, go ahead and look in the mirror. That's

722
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:10,120
Speaker 1: what you're doing right now to your daughter. Ding dong,

723
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 1: ding dong.

724
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:13,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, this mother is just like so frustrating.

725
00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,320
Speaker 6: So in my head, I'm just asking for basic respect,

726
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 6: which is true. But maybe I'm just wording things wrong

727
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,360
Speaker 6: and didn't express myself by oh, it's not your fault.

728
00:33:21,880 --> 00:33:24,160
Speaker 6: After a few moments, I started hearing her from the

729
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 6: kitchen sniffling.

730
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:25,840
Speaker 5: Oh my god.

731
00:33:25,920 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 6: I started feeling bad because I thought she might have

732
00:33:27,960 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 6: started crying because of me, and that what I said

733
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 6: probably started weighing on her or something. I don't know

734
00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:33,880
Speaker 6: why I thought it would help, but I thought that

735
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,440
Speaker 6: talking about my image problem would help ease things and

736
00:33:36,480 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 6: at least explain why I don't want to dress. I

737
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 6: don't know if I thought that changing the subject would

738
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,520
Speaker 6: do something, or just trying to justify my choices and

739
00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:45,760
Speaker 6: views is what I was doing.

740
00:33:45,840 --> 00:33:46,240
Speaker 1: I don't know.

741
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 6: About halfway through saying what I had to say, I

742
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:52,600
Speaker 6: started crying again, and I was honestly just feeling so helpless,

743
00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 6: especially with the look she was giving me, like she

744
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,560
Speaker 6: couldn't bear to listen or even look at me. I

745
00:33:57,680 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 6: was saying something along the lines of not feeling good,

746
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 6: confident enough in my body to wear a dress because

747
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,680
Speaker 6: growing up I kept getting comments about my weight and

748
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:08,160
Speaker 6: my stomach, and still hear those things sometimes. I didn't

749
00:34:08,160 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 6: even specify anyone or any names. Yes, I mostly meant

750
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:13,840
Speaker 6: people in my family because it's true, but it's not

751
00:34:14,080 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 6: like it was just them. I guess that didn't change anything.

752
00:34:16,920 --> 00:34:18,680
Speaker 6: She stopped me while I was trying to talk. She

753
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,600
Speaker 6: got even angrier, going on this rant about how I'm

754
00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,840
Speaker 6: always dramatic, how I get too influenced by media and TV,

755
00:34:25,320 --> 00:34:27,680
Speaker 6: and that I'm saying nonsense when I know very well

756
00:34:27,760 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 6: that I'm not fat. Her words exactly, that's how the

757
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,360
Speaker 6: family is. That we always joke about subjects like that,

758
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 6: and then I'm too sensitive. She jokes about herself being

759
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,560
Speaker 6: fat all the time, so I shouldn't be bothered by

760
00:34:38,680 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 6: her saying the same things about me.

761
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,239
Speaker 5: And that's also a problem because a lot of times

762
00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,840
Speaker 5: when you have, like especially with like women, stuff like

763
00:34:46,080 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 5: when you have mothers who have this kind of like

764
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:55,320
Speaker 5: not old fashioned but just older view on body types,

765
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 5: and it's like not great. It's still not a great view,

766
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,439
Speaker 5: like healthy view on body types and stuff, like they

767
00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:03,520
Speaker 5: think thinness is the best thing ever, and then they

768
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 5: put that on their children and they're like, oh, it's fine.

769
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 5: I'm like, I'm not saying anything that I wouldn't say

770
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,000
Speaker 5: to myself. And it's like, no, you shouldn't be saying

771
00:35:09,040 --> 00:35:09,719
Speaker 5: that to yourself either.

772
00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

773
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:12,640
Speaker 1: It's like, uh, and do we both need therapy? Mom?

774
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 5: Yeah?

775
00:35:13,440 --> 00:35:13,960
Speaker 1: She says that.

776
00:35:14,160 --> 00:35:16,520
Speaker 6: It's like I want to create stories and make up

777
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:19,319
Speaker 6: problems and issues for myself, like I have some kind

778
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 6: of main character syndrome and a lot. She started talking

779
00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,839
Speaker 6: about how I'm making her out to be the bad

780
00:35:24,920 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 6: guy when she's a single mother, always doing the most

781
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:29,400
Speaker 6: to spend money on me and my brother and listening

782
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 6: to our problems when needed, but that if she's such

783
00:35:31,480 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 6: a horrible, terrible mother, then never mind weapon why not.

784
00:35:35,680 --> 00:35:37,839
Speaker 5: The classic Oh if I'm such a terrible mother, why

785
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 5: don't you get another one?

786
00:35:38,840 --> 00:35:41,040
Speaker 6: It's like, Mom, I wish I could. Can you just

787
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:45,600
Speaker 6: stop calling me fat no fatty? It's like, whoa, what

788
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:48,399
Speaker 6: what are we doing? Gotta love too, the earlier line

789
00:35:48,440 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 6: of like you just want me to be a thoughtless

790
00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 6: robot mom, and it's like that's you want that for

791
00:35:53,360 --> 00:35:56,399
Speaker 6: your daughter. You literally are trying to tell your daughter

792
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,800
Speaker 6: she has to be exactly this way or she's wrong.

793
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 5: Katery ramsay is why is it that adult women are

794
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 5: so concerned with little girl's bodies. It's almost like they're

795
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:07,880
Speaker 5: like if someone had told me from childhood, i'd be

796
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 5: different or something. I don't know. It's this insecurity that

797
00:36:11,360 --> 00:36:12,640
Speaker 5: they impose on other people.

798
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 6: It's not guys, stop worrying about the body and just

799
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 6: start worrying about your health. It's not about how thin

800
00:36:17,120 --> 00:36:18,839
Speaker 6: you are, It's not about how ripped you are. It's

801
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 6: about can you like lift a box over your head

802
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,040
Speaker 6: if you need to? Like, can you can you run?

803
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:27,640
Speaker 5: If mobility at the end of the day, like mobility

804
00:36:27,760 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 5: is like what you should be focusing on.

805
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 6: Just about feeling healthy, not looking hot.

806
00:36:32,440 --> 00:36:33,160
Speaker 5: Let's be honest.

807
00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:36,040
Speaker 6: I tried speaking saying that that's not even what I

808
00:36:36,200 --> 00:36:38,279
Speaker 6: was saying, but she just kept going. She then said

809
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:40,719
Speaker 6: something about how if we can't even have the kind

810
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:42,960
Speaker 6: of relationship where we can laugh and joke about things,

811
00:36:43,080 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 6: then she'll be strictly my mother who provides for me

812
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,839
Speaker 6: and nothing else. Honestly, I don't even know anymore. If

813
00:36:47,840 --> 00:36:49,719
Speaker 6: I'm actually in the wrong or not. It's not the

814
00:36:49,760 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 6: first time something like this has happened, but it never

815
00:36:52,280 --> 00:36:54,880
Speaker 6: seemed to bother her and upset her this much. I

816
00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:57,600
Speaker 6: feel like she misunderstood everything I said.

817
00:36:57,800 --> 00:36:58,759
Speaker 1: But I don't know.

818
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:01,120
Speaker 6: Maybe I just didn't worry it correctly, or maybe I

819
00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:04,040
Speaker 6: really am just the terrible daughter, she says, I am,

820
00:37:04,200 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 6: but I'm too self centered to realize it or something. Anyway,

821
00:37:07,239 --> 00:37:10,320
Speaker 6: now she's just been ignoring me, but not in an angry,

822
00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:14,040
Speaker 6: manipulative way. For once, she seems more like tired and upset.

823
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 6: I think, so, was I really in the wrong? Did

824
00:37:16,400 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 6: I actually say anything that was out of place? I

825
00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:20,759
Speaker 6: really need advice on how to arrange things because I

826
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 6: really don't know what to do.

827
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:24,240
Speaker 1: You are not in the wrong.

828
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:28,680
Speaker 5: Your mom is the worst wear your prom suit.

829
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:32,120
Speaker 3: I think Op's just really scared because again it's what

830
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 3: their senior year. And yeah, they're just scared.

831
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,680
Speaker 5: It's scared of like the no, I mean, they're still

832
00:37:36,800 --> 00:37:40,399
Speaker 5: in your mom's house. Yeah, this is single parents, Yeah

833
00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:40,960
Speaker 5: it is.

834
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,560
Speaker 3: This is incredibly frustrating, though, I feel like OPI, this

835
00:37:44,680 --> 00:37:46,360
Speaker 3: is like the first time Opie's really standing up for

836
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:49,200
Speaker 3: themselves and yeah, yeah, and That's why it's like so

837
00:37:49,480 --> 00:37:51,439
Speaker 3: hard to like what's right? Is this wrong?

838
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 1: Is this right?

839
00:37:52,040 --> 00:37:52,479
Speaker 3: Is this wrong?

840
00:37:52,680 --> 00:37:52,879
Speaker 1: Yeah?

841
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 6: It's like using your uh using your mom with very

842
00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:01,399
Speaker 6: skewed senses of uh. I think values as a parent

843
00:38:01,560 --> 00:38:04,000
Speaker 6: is not a good temperature check for like, am I right?

844
00:38:04,040 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 1: Am I wrong? For you?

845
00:38:05,239 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 6: Because she's clearly like it was as soon as you know,

846
00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,080
Speaker 6: she's like all sad about it, and then you're like

847
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 6: try to open up and be like, yeah, I have

848
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 6: body image issues because uh well I could say it's

849
00:38:14,800 --> 00:38:16,920
Speaker 6: because of all of you guys, but I won't say that.

850
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:18,840
Speaker 1: I'll say it's because of some people.

851
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:21,120
Speaker 6: And then as soon as you say it, you go, oh, yeah,

852
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:23,200
Speaker 6: so it's my fault that you can't talk and you're

853
00:38:23,239 --> 00:38:24,040
Speaker 6: so sensitive anything.

854
00:38:24,200 --> 00:38:26,120
Speaker 1: So now it's me, Oh well, I'm not having that,

855
00:38:26,360 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: I guarantee you.

856
00:38:27,000 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 3: Opie's just like what is this because she's never seen

857
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 3: the side of her mom either, so she's like at

858
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:33,719
Speaker 3: a loss for everything. Like her brain's like, oh, what

859
00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:34,680
Speaker 3: is going on?

860
00:38:35,320 --> 00:38:36,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, So here's the update.

861
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 6: I had kind of forgotten I'd written this. Not gonna lie,

862
00:38:39,640 --> 00:38:42,200
Speaker 6: but I'm bored and honestly still frustrated.

863
00:38:42,280 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 8: Let me be mad.

864
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,520
Speaker 6: Please, So for whoever cares, here's an update. No matter

865
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,600
Speaker 6: how much I fought for it, I was forced to

866
00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 6: get address anyway. Don't get me wrong, I still liked

867
00:38:52,239 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 6: the dress. I got to choose it, and it was

868
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:57,719
Speaker 6: the model I wanted. But I'm more upset about the

869
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,800
Speaker 6: fact that I feel like I wasn't urd and that

870
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,560
Speaker 6: I'm always forced to compromise and always have to do

871
00:39:02,640 --> 00:39:05,879
Speaker 6: whatever's necessary to keep the piece. Like my mother kept

872
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:09,000
Speaker 6: saying she was compromising, but what is there for her

873
00:39:09,080 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 6: to compromise. She didn't compromise this at all, For there

874
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 6: was a zero compromise.

875
00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 5: She made you feel guilty until you were a dress.

876
00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:16,480
Speaker 5: There was no compromise.

877
00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:18,680
Speaker 6: That's feel like this was my moment and I should

878
00:39:18,680 --> 00:39:21,439
Speaker 6: have been able to dress how I wanted instead. Apart

879
00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:23,760
Speaker 6: from the dress, though she did express that she didn't

880
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:25,360
Speaker 6: love it exactly, she.

881
00:39:25,440 --> 00:39:27,560
Speaker 1: Had to say in every little aspect of.

882
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:30,160
Speaker 6: My outfit, I wanted pearls, but she felt it wasn't

883
00:39:30,200 --> 00:39:32,719
Speaker 6: fitting or cute or pretty enough, and she kept just

884
00:39:32,840 --> 00:39:35,520
Speaker 6: making little comments and sulking and pouting until I gave

885
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:37,960
Speaker 6: up and lied, saying I didn't want pearls anymore, and

886
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 6: that i'd just get diamonds. I wanted simple black platform

887
00:39:41,040 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 6: heels because I didn't want my shoes to be too much,

888
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:45,480
Speaker 6: and I wanted the shoes to be something I could

889
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,279
Speaker 6: wear even after prompt She said those weren't elegant or

890
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:51,280
Speaker 6: a classy and wanted me to have shiny silver high heels.

891
00:39:51,640 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 6: So we compromised and I got shiny black platform heels.

892
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,759
Speaker 6: But now she's complaining that I made her waste money

893
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:58,399
Speaker 6: and that I'll never even wear them again.

894
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:01,040
Speaker 1: I wonder how this could have been avoided.

895
00:40:01,120 --> 00:40:03,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sorry, Oh, you wouldn't have worn the shiny

896
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,280
Speaker 5: silver heels. What is this? This logic is crazy.

897
00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:09,200
Speaker 1: This is just something that you'll learn when you get older.

898
00:40:09,200 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 6: It's really hard right now because you're still literally like

899
00:40:11,160 --> 00:40:13,200
Speaker 6: in high school. But like, as you get older, you'll

900
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,839
Speaker 6: just learn that you don't actually need your mom's input

901
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 6: on anything.

902
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,760
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just hard when you're living under I wanted.

903
00:40:19,520 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 6: To get bohemian braids i am a black girl, but

904
00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,680
Speaker 6: my mother said it wasn't elegant and that braids are

905
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,520
Speaker 6: not made for fancy events like those. Instead, she wanted

906
00:40:27,560 --> 00:40:29,960
Speaker 6: me to straighten my hair, but that was literally the

907
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 6: one thing I wanted to stand my ground on because

908
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,439
Speaker 6: I just didn't want to have straight hair. After weeks

909
00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,360
Speaker 6: of protests, the only compromise I got were curls and waves.

910
00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:39,319
Speaker 6: There's a few more, but I'll spare the details because

911
00:40:39,360 --> 00:40:40,960
Speaker 6: one this is already getting longer than I thought, and

912
00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:42,600
Speaker 6: two I doubt anyone will actually read this.

913
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:43,520
Speaker 1: That's where you were wrong.

914
00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 6: And by the way, if you want to be elegant,

915
00:40:47,360 --> 00:40:49,560
Speaker 6: you can listen to full episodes with stories like this.

916
00:40:50,040 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 6: All you need to do is go to Spotify or

917
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 6: have a podcast or wherever you get your PA your

918
00:40:53,640 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 6: podcast Rob, and.

919
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 5: You could be real elegant.

920
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 6: And you can be real elegant when you type in

921
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,279
Speaker 6: okay storytime and you listen to forty seven consecutive day's

922
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 6: worth a podcast, and we can all wear suits.

923
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:04,000
Speaker 1: Just yeah, well you know what.

924
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 5: I did see. I did see a pretty cool suit

925
00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 5: at the store, but it was very expensive.

926
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,320
Speaker 6: It's time to start saving, Honestly, all the arguing in

927
00:41:10,400 --> 00:41:12,919
Speaker 6: the stress this was causing just had me wishing prom

928
00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 6: would arrive so it would end faster. In the end,

929
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,200
Speaker 6: I was still pretty happy with the look, but a

930
00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,520
Speaker 6: part of me can't help but feel kind of upset

931
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,719
Speaker 6: and kind of disappointed.

932
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 1: But I don't know.

933
00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 6: Maybe I just care too much, I guess. Anyway, thanks

934
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:26,000
Speaker 6: to anyone who reads my post or answered to them,

935
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:28,600
Speaker 6: I appreciate it, and we appreciate you. And there is

936
00:41:28,640 --> 00:41:31,320
Speaker 6: an edit just to complain some more because I remembered

937
00:41:31,360 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 6: something else. Some of the things that I wanted, like

938
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:35,719
Speaker 6: gloves and pearls in a black dress were things that

939
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 6: she got herself for her own prom back then, and

940
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 6: whenever I would bring that point up, she'd say, exactly,

941
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 6: it should be more modern instead of taking things of

942
00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,160
Speaker 6: the past. Where As a joke, she'd say I wanted

943
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:49,640
Speaker 6: to copy her, but as soon as I strayed from

944
00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,480
Speaker 6: stuff she liked or proved, she complain, I don't like

945
00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:56,520
Speaker 6: anything she likes. Ironic, isn't it. That's so weird, just

946
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,319
Speaker 6: like the nonsense thought lose.

947
00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,719
Speaker 5: It's the narcissism. She's like, oh, you're trying to copy me,

948
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:04,840
Speaker 5: but also you can't do anything differently from how I want.

949
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: It to be.

950
00:42:05,160 --> 00:42:08,480
Speaker 6: It's the nonsense narcissistic thought loop where it's like things

951
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:13,240
Speaker 6: just do not things are not lining up correctly mentally,

952
00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,279
Speaker 6: and then when you're like, hey, that doesn't make any sense.

953
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: Do you go, Oh, so you hate me and I'm

954
00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:19,279
Speaker 1: the worst mom on earth.

955
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:23,000
Speaker 5: But you're gonna move out soon, hopefully and go to

956
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 5: college and you get to leave her behind and realize,

957
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,520
Speaker 5: oh wow, that's not an okay way for my mother

958
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:34,640
Speaker 5: to treat me. I plan to spend Christmas alone with

959
00:42:34,760 --> 00:42:35,320
Speaker 5: my husband.

960
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 1: My mom's furious mother. It's my husband, not yours.

961
00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 5: I'm using a throwaway account since my man account is

962
00:42:43,000 --> 00:42:45,200
Speaker 5: known by my family and friends. I got married and

963
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:49,120
Speaker 5: September of this year, congrats to my boyfriend of five years,

964
00:42:49,200 --> 00:42:50,960
Speaker 5: which owes to a lope. Legally, it was more of

965
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,840
Speaker 5: a blessing owing to the differences between marriage laws in

966
00:42:53,920 --> 00:42:56,440
Speaker 5: her home country and this one well on holiday and

967
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:58,879
Speaker 5: one of our favorite countries. By the way, this comes

968
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,319
Speaker 5: from eighty nine eighty s even six hundred and if

969
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:02,680
Speaker 5: you want to spend your own stories, go to our

970
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:05,879
Speaker 5: slashokay story tim separate it. So we then returned home

971
00:43:05,960 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 5: and had a ceremony where we signed all of the

972
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 5: documents and legally became husband and wife. This was attended

973
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:16,320
Speaker 5: by our parents and siblings, so seven people in total.

974
00:43:16,360 --> 00:43:18,920
Speaker 5: I promise this is all related to the overall issue.

975
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:21,640
Speaker 5: This wasn't at all a spur of the moment decision.

976
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 5: We wanted a wedding exactly like this, something that everyone

977
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,440
Speaker 5: knew about and was seemingly on board with. For as

978
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,880
Speaker 5: many years as I can remember, I've wanted to spend

979
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:32,760
Speaker 5: my first Christmas as a married couple with the provision

980
00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:35,800
Speaker 5: that I slash we had our own place. By this,

981
00:43:36,080 --> 00:43:39,440
Speaker 5: I mean the day itself, cooking together, potentially burning the

982
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,880
Speaker 5: meal together, napping in front of the TV when the

983
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:45,080
Speaker 5: Queen's speech is on. It's something I've always envisaged.

984
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 1: Oh I think, well, say access Darling.

985
00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 5: Unfortunately you're gonna have to watch the king speak, so sorry.

986
00:43:52,719 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 5: I told my boyfriend about it years ago, and he

987
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:57,400
Speaker 5: loved the idea as much as me. To clarify, this

988
00:43:57,480 --> 00:43:59,919
Speaker 5: would just be the day itself, not the whole festival, Peero.

989
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 5: This was something that my and my husband's family were

990
00:44:03,040 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 5: made aware of, and both said they initially understood. We

991
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:09,560
Speaker 5: live around eighty miles from my family and one hundred

992
00:44:09,600 --> 00:44:12,200
Speaker 5: and seventy miles from my husband's family. The initial plan

993
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 5: was to see my boyfriend's family over this coming weekend

994
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,000
Speaker 5: and my parents on Boxing Day as Christmas has come closer,

995
00:44:19,200 --> 00:44:22,200
Speaker 5: it's become clear that my family, namely my mother, has

996
00:44:22,280 --> 00:44:25,239
Speaker 5: become increasingly uncomfortable with the fact that we're not going

997
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:28,560
Speaker 5: to be spending Christmas with either her or my husband's family.

998
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 5: To give you an idea of past Christmases, for the

999
00:44:31,120 --> 00:44:34,319
Speaker 5: first three years of our relationship, we spent Christmas apart,

1000
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 5: then spend Christmas with my family the year after, and

1001
00:44:37,360 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 5: last Christmas with my husband's family. My mother started by

1002
00:44:40,200 --> 00:44:42,680
Speaker 5: making comments that they're going to miss seeing me on

1003
00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:45,800
Speaker 5: Christmas for two years in a row, while my husband's

1004
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:48,480
Speaker 5: parents are only missing out on a year. I pointed

1005
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 5: out that if we go to visit my parents next Christmas,

1006
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:53,279
Speaker 5: then his parents want have seen them for two years

1007
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:55,360
Speaker 5: and so they'll be even, but that it wasn't a

1008
00:44:55,440 --> 00:44:57,200
Speaker 5: competition in the slightest.

1009
00:44:56,880 --> 00:44:57,479
Speaker 1: Oh, for sure.

1010
00:44:57,560 --> 00:45:00,239
Speaker 6: It's definitely not a competition, right, that's the does it

1011
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,560
Speaker 6: feels just like one, but trust me, it's not.

1012
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,880
Speaker 5: It's not. But if it were, you'd be losing. To

1013
00:45:05,000 --> 00:45:08,240
Speaker 5: highlight family structures, Christmas with my family is with my parents,

1014
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:11,120
Speaker 5: my brother and his girlfriend on alternate years. They're with

1015
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:14,240
Speaker 5: them this year, and my uncle mother's brother and his husband.

1016
00:45:14,480 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 5: My husband's family is his parents is two brothers, and

1017
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,440
Speaker 5: his mother's brother, so it's not as if either family

1018
00:45:19,560 --> 00:45:22,520
Speaker 5: is having a distinctly smaller Christmas if we're not attending.

1019
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 5: My mother has been asking if it's better to just

1020
00:45:24,719 --> 00:45:27,080
Speaker 5: post us our presence and implying that we won't be

1021
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,760
Speaker 5: making the trip down to see them on Boxing Day. Again,

1022
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 5: I've shut her down about this. The reason I'm posting

1023
00:45:33,239 --> 00:45:35,480
Speaker 5: is that we rang my mother in law yesterday to

1024
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:38,440
Speaker 5: confirm plans for visiting over the weekend, and she said

1025
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,200
Speaker 5: that my mother had been in contact with her to

1026
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,800
Speaker 5: ask if we were secretly spending Christmas with them and

1027
00:45:43,960 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 5: lying to my family about it. You know this sounds peachy.

1028
00:45:47,719 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: You just say, I know what y'all doing.

1029
00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:52,279
Speaker 5: She told my mother that as far as she knew,

1030
00:45:52,440 --> 00:45:55,000
Speaker 5: we were sticking to our original plan of Christmas together

1031
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:58,000
Speaker 5: and we definitely weren't going to them. It hurts that

1032
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:00,400
Speaker 5: my mother thinks we're trying to get out of seeing them.

1033
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:02,800
Speaker 5: My mother has recently been raising the point that since

1034
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,720
Speaker 5: our wedding that she disagreed with our choice to Elope,

1035
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 5: and that spending Christmas alone is an extension of that.

1036
00:46:09,280 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 5: In the past few days. She has said that she

1037
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:13,919
Speaker 5: thinks we're alienating ourselves from the rest of the world.

1038
00:46:14,080 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 5: I disagree. We love spending time with both of our families,

1039
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,240
Speaker 5: and our choice to elope was due to a combination

1040
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,279
Speaker 5: of cost and overall need. We don't have thousands of

1041
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:25,160
Speaker 5: pounds to spend on just one day so that random

1042
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:28,000
Speaker 5: cousins one or other of us have never met can

1043
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,520
Speaker 5: get loaded from an open bar. This was something that

1044
00:46:31,680 --> 00:46:34,560
Speaker 5: once again my mother said she completely understood. I just

1045
00:46:34,640 --> 00:46:36,759
Speaker 5: wanted to get the wider perspective to see if what

1046
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 5: I'm doing is a little out of line. As a

1047
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:42,280
Speaker 5: final note, I do browse this sub and usually whenever

1048
00:46:42,400 --> 00:46:44,719
Speaker 5: anyone posts about their parents, the advice is to go

1049
00:46:44,800 --> 00:46:47,680
Speaker 5: to specific separates and to call the parents a bit

1050
00:46:47,800 --> 00:46:50,200
Speaker 5: of noticsts. I don't believe at all that my mother

1051
00:46:50,360 --> 00:46:53,040
Speaker 5: falls into that category. I believe that she is openly

1052
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:55,879
Speaker 5: sharing her personal opinion and feelings with me, and she's

1053
00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:59,120
Speaker 5: completely justified in doing that without being at all in ours.

1054
00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:01,760
Speaker 5: But her feelings are are stupid.

1055
00:47:01,880 --> 00:47:02,200
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1056
00:47:02,280 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 6: I think she's just like really insecure.

1057
00:47:04,640 --> 00:47:06,320
Speaker 5: Yeah, I think she need I think you need to

1058
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,440
Speaker 5: have a conversation with her and be like, Gurly, Gurly,

1059
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:12,440
Speaker 5: we love you. We can't wait to see you on

1060
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:15,239
Speaker 5: Boxing Day. We just want to have time as a couple.

1061
00:47:15,360 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 5: This we just got married. We just got married. We'll

1062
00:47:18,320 --> 00:47:20,520
Speaker 5: have a moment. Do you remember when when you and

1063
00:47:20,600 --> 00:47:21,840
Speaker 5: and then and then you kind of like make it

1064
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:23,480
Speaker 5: really sweet? You're like, do you remember when your dad

1065
00:47:23,600 --> 00:47:25,480
Speaker 5: just got married? Do you remember that moment when you

1066
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:26,880
Speaker 5: were so in love you just wanted to be with

1067
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:28,920
Speaker 5: each other. That's us right now.

1068
00:47:29,160 --> 00:47:31,880
Speaker 1: You're like, nah, I don't know he was. I've never

1069
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 1: been in love with your father's to save bet. Honestly,

1070
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:35,320
Speaker 1: he had a good career.

1071
00:47:35,600 --> 00:47:37,040
Speaker 5: I just want to see if I'm the one in

1072
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:38,759
Speaker 5: this situation who was acting in the wrong.

1073
00:47:38,920 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 1: Edit.

1074
00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 5: Thank you for all the comments and messages. The first

1075
00:47:41,640 --> 00:47:43,600
Speaker 5: thing I'm planning on doing is talking to my mother

1076
00:47:43,719 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 5: to reaffirm why we want to and are doing this,

1077
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 5: which is what I just said.

1078
00:47:47,840 --> 00:47:51,800
Speaker 1: Literally, just hey, folks, it's what she just said. So

1079
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:53,320
Speaker 1: she said, I don't know if you've been listening, but

1080
00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:54,320
Speaker 1: that's what she said.

1081
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 5: Hopefully that will be a positive first start. Also, I've

1082
00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:00,320
Speaker 5: received messages criticizing my choice to Elope and are reasons

1083
00:48:00,360 --> 00:48:02,759
Speaker 5: for deciding to do that. That's obviously not something we

1084
00:48:02,840 --> 00:48:05,360
Speaker 5: can change. So please don't send me something telling me

1085
00:48:05,440 --> 00:48:07,759
Speaker 5: I'm a horrible daughter over it, because it won't get

1086
00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:10,280
Speaker 5: any kind of response. I would never send that, literally,

1087
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:14,200
Speaker 5: would not maybe do elope Ah, But there are some

1088
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:16,800
Speaker 5: comment Comment one, what does she think is going to

1089
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:18,719
Speaker 5: happen if you have kids soon and you can't spend

1090
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:21,120
Speaker 5: hours driving them across the country. You say your brother

1091
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,840
Speaker 5: alternate spending the holidays with your family and his girlfriends.

1092
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,880
Speaker 5: Does she react the same way to him or is

1093
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:27,879
Speaker 5: it just because you're not spending the day with any

1094
00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,279
Speaker 5: family at all. I think this is why OP needs

1095
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:30,920
Speaker 5: to be firm now.

1096
00:48:31,080 --> 00:48:31,560
Speaker 1: Once they have.

1097
00:48:31,640 --> 00:48:34,040
Speaker 5: Kids, the mother is going to try five hundred times

1098
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:36,920
Speaker 5: harder to see them every Christmas Day. Comment to stop

1099
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:42,320
Speaker 5: explaining yourself to your mother. That's jading. Justify, argue, defend, explain,

1100
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,439
Speaker 5: it's natural, but you're an adult, you're married. Jading only

1101
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:48,279
Speaker 5: gives them room to attack your reasons. Just tell your mother,

1102
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,680
Speaker 5: I'm sorry if it upsets you, but a husband and

1103
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 5: I are going to have our first married Christmas together

1104
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:55,040
Speaker 5: as a family. We'll see you on Boxing Day. Then

1105
00:48:55,120 --> 00:48:57,120
Speaker 5: feel free to add in something like man I don't

1106
00:48:57,120 --> 00:48:59,080
Speaker 5: want to discuss it anymore, or else our plans for

1107
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:01,759
Speaker 5: Boxing Day might yet change as well. I know I

1108
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:04,919
Speaker 5: certainly would. This is an emotional response by your mother

1109
00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:06,840
Speaker 5: and no amount of reasoning is going to get her

1110
00:49:06,880 --> 00:49:08,839
Speaker 5: to agree with you. So just tell her what you're

1111
00:49:08,880 --> 00:49:11,560
Speaker 5: doing and let her be responsible for her emotions while

1112
00:49:11,640 --> 00:49:14,879
Speaker 5: you enjoy Christmas. Also, I recommend not answering the door

1113
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 5: and putting your phone on silent on Christmas Day. And

1114
00:49:17,239 --> 00:49:21,279
Speaker 5: there is an update. But uh, yeah boo, I don't know.

1115
00:49:21,320 --> 00:49:22,840
Speaker 5: I think you can still have a conversation with her.

1116
00:49:22,920 --> 00:49:24,839
Speaker 5: I think you could still put your mind at ease

1117
00:49:25,520 --> 00:49:29,120
Speaker 5: while still putting down those boundaries. I think you can try, yeah,

1118
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:29,839
Speaker 5: and it might work.

1119
00:49:29,920 --> 00:49:33,000
Speaker 6: There's a level of like justifying, like there's a level

1120
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:35,840
Speaker 6: of jade that I feel like is acceptable in just

1121
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:41,440
Speaker 6: that Sometimes people I mean usually want context for why

1122
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,880
Speaker 6: we are thinking, we're feeling a certain way. However, if

1123
00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 6: the reason they want to know that is so they

1124
00:49:45,680 --> 00:49:48,200
Speaker 6: can tear it down, that's when you just stop. You go, Hey,

1125
00:49:48,280 --> 00:49:51,000
Speaker 6: you've already explained what's going on. I've already explained why

1126
00:49:51,080 --> 00:49:53,759
Speaker 6: it's happening. I'm going to see you on Boxing Day.

1127
00:49:53,840 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, peace out.

1128
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:55,240
Speaker 1: Update.

1129
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,680
Speaker 5: So Christmas has been and gone and there was a

1130
00:49:57,719 --> 00:50:00,799
Speaker 5: bit more drama than I wanted classic my original post.

1131
00:50:00,880 --> 00:50:03,800
Speaker 5: I contacted my mother to reaffirm to her the reasons

1132
00:50:03,840 --> 00:50:05,839
Speaker 5: we wanted to spend Christmas Day itself on our own,

1133
00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:07,880
Speaker 5: and she said that she understood and said she's looking

1134
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:10,359
Speaker 5: forward to seeing us on Boxing Day. However, a few

1135
00:50:10,480 --> 00:50:13,400
Speaker 5: hours later I got a call from my father asking

1136
00:50:13,520 --> 00:50:16,160
Speaker 5: why my mother was crying and saying that I wrung

1137
00:50:16,200 --> 00:50:20,080
Speaker 5: her up, screaming and shouting about interfering with her life.

1138
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:21,960
Speaker 5: I said that nothing like that happened, and that it

1139
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:23,759
Speaker 5: hurt that she was accusing me of that when I

1140
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 5: just tried to be mature about the situation. My father

1141
00:50:26,760 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 5: sympathized and said he tried to talk to her about it.

1142
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:33,840
Speaker 5: At least your father's seemingly sensible.

1143
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:35,759
Speaker 1: Hold on that might be a curveball too. We just

1144
00:50:35,840 --> 00:50:36,879
Speaker 1: got curveballed once.

1145
00:50:37,120 --> 00:50:39,560
Speaker 5: I checked in frequently in the days up to Christmas,

1146
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:42,440
Speaker 5: but my mother read and ignored my messages. Whenever I

1147
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:44,439
Speaker 5: spoke to my father, he said that she was telling

1148
00:50:44,520 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 5: him I hadn't been in contact and she was waiting

1149
00:50:46,600 --> 00:50:48,960
Speaker 5: for me to apologize, But he had seen that I

1150
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,279
Speaker 5: was in her call and text history. He advised that

1151
00:50:51,400 --> 00:50:54,160
Speaker 5: visiting on Boxing Day might not be the best idea,

1152
00:50:54,320 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 5: but if it got to the stage, he would visit

1153
00:50:56,360 --> 00:50:58,200
Speaker 5: us alone, since none of this was our doing.

1154
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, seems like the dad is good. Yeah, it

1155
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:03,319
Speaker 1: seems like he's true.

1156
00:51:03,480 --> 00:51:06,000
Speaker 5: We had our own private Christmas Day, during which we

1157
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:08,960
Speaker 5: found out that I was pregnant. We had started trying

1158
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 5: for a first child in secret a few months ago,

1159
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,560
Speaker 5: but didn't suspect anything until I felt sick at the

1160
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:16,279
Speaker 5: smell of turkey, and You're like.

1161
00:51:16,320 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 1: That's impossible.

1162
00:51:17,440 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 5: I love turkey.

1163
00:51:18,360 --> 00:51:19,239
Speaker 1: It's so not me.

1164
00:51:19,600 --> 00:51:21,360
Speaker 5: We're going to keep this our little secret from the

1165
00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:24,760
Speaker 5: next few weeks, at least, with everyone my husband's family included.

1166
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,800
Speaker 5: I texted my mother to wish her a happy Christmas

1167
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,680
Speaker 5: in the morning, and sent her another text in the

1168
00:51:28,760 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 5: evening asking if she still wanted us to go up

1169
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:34,200
Speaker 5: to visit tomorrow. I got a one word reply. We

1170
00:51:34,280 --> 00:51:36,200
Speaker 5: took my mother at her word, and we didn't visit

1171
00:51:36,280 --> 00:51:38,480
Speaker 5: the following day. I think she was expecting me to

1172
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:41,600
Speaker 5: grovel at her feet, begging for forgiveness, but that's not

1173
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:42,560
Speaker 5: gonna happen. Anymore.

1174
00:51:44,719 --> 00:51:48,840
Speaker 6: Oh you, Oh god, I just imagine you're waiting, just

1175
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,719
Speaker 6: like she's around on the phone waiting for the call

1176
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:54,759
Speaker 6: any minute now. And it's just like the montage of

1177
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 6: like the moon like and yeah, like rotating around like

1178
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:58,400
Speaker 6: a couple weeks.

1179
00:51:58,719 --> 00:52:02,480
Speaker 5: But guys, I'm begging you to listen to full episodes

1180
00:52:02,520 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 5: of stories just like this. Just go to Apple podcast,

1181
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 5: Spotify or your favorite podcast app and search a Pocus

1182
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 5: story time. But there is a little bit left. I

1183
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 5: called my father and told him that she had decided

1184
00:52:13,719 --> 00:52:16,359
Speaker 5: that we weren't visiting, and it definitely wasn't on our end.

1185
00:52:16,480 --> 00:52:19,240
Speaker 5: He visited in the afternoon and brought the dog Lovely,

1186
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,160
Speaker 5: and we all went for a walk. Instead of worrying

1187
00:52:21,200 --> 00:52:23,160
Speaker 5: about what my mother was doing or saying to other

1188
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:25,320
Speaker 5: people about it. Apparently a horde of her friends have

1189
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:28,200
Speaker 5: been told that I shredded her Christmas card and posted

1190
00:52:28,239 --> 00:52:29,799
Speaker 5: it back to them, among other things.

1191
00:52:30,040 --> 00:52:33,120
Speaker 1: What why she she just wants attention, just lying, She

1192
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 1: just wants all the attention.

1193
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:37,520
Speaker 5: But I'm done worrying about what my mother says. I'm

1194
00:52:37,560 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 5: not at this stage going to completely cut her off

1195
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,440
Speaker 5: or say she can't see her future grandchild, but our

1196
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:46,800
Speaker 5: relationship is definitely strained, and that is the end of

1197
00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:51,840
Speaker 5: that story. Boy a boy, Uh yeah, your mother is

1198
00:52:52,200 --> 00:52:54,440
Speaker 5: a piece of work and it doesn't seem like she

1199
00:52:54,560 --> 00:52:56,359
Speaker 5: can be reason with. But at least your dad can

1200
00:52:56,400 --> 00:52:58,960
Speaker 5: be reason with and seems like he's pretty chill.

1201
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:03,640
Speaker 8: My friend's boyfriend is weirdly obsessed with my life, so

1202
00:53:03,760 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 8: I distanced myself from them.

1203
00:53:05,880 --> 00:53:07,240
Speaker 3: Uh no games, normal.

1204
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 8: Life, trying to see what you're up to tonight, that's all.

1205
00:53:09,440 --> 00:53:09,840
Speaker 1: No, thank you.

1206
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:14,280
Speaker 8: My nineteen female's friends eighteen female's boyfriend is weirdly invested

1207
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,640
Speaker 8: in my life. I nineteen female would like to start

1208
00:53:16,680 --> 00:53:19,680
Speaker 8: off by saying I am in my own relationship, and

1209
00:53:19,719 --> 00:53:22,560
Speaker 8: although the title sounds weird, I just can't tell if

1210
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,279
Speaker 8: I'm going crazy or not, since everyone in my life

1211
00:53:25,400 --> 00:53:29,000
Speaker 8: has acted as if this situation is completely normal. By

1212
00:53:29,040 --> 00:53:31,440
Speaker 8: the way, this comes from Smells like Ocean on the

1213
00:53:31,560 --> 00:53:33,680
Speaker 8: artsish Okay story tomsaub reread it. So a couple of

1214
00:53:33,760 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 8: months ago, before I was in a relationship, I was

1215
00:53:36,040 --> 00:53:39,080
Speaker 8: on a dating app and would mainly use it seriously

1216
00:53:39,320 --> 00:53:42,320
Speaker 8: with my friends, mainly because I would never find anything

1217
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 8: substantial in them. I ended up matching with this guy

1218
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 8: nineteen mail let's call him Dave, who only used Instagram

1219
00:53:48,600 --> 00:53:51,560
Speaker 8: to talk to people, and therefore I ended up giving

1220
00:53:51,640 --> 00:53:55,120
Speaker 8: him my Instagram. I significantly remember talking to my friend

1221
00:53:55,280 --> 00:53:58,040
Speaker 8: eighteen female let's call her a Leah about Dave. My

1222
00:53:58,160 --> 00:54:00,760
Speaker 8: Instagram is full of pictures of me and my friends,

1223
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:03,680
Speaker 8: and I ended up ghosting Dave due to some personal

1224
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:06,839
Speaker 8: issues I was going through and some mannerisms I caught

1225
00:54:06,920 --> 00:54:09,719
Speaker 8: onto that I didn't like. He was low key aggressive,

1226
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:12,600
Speaker 8: and I continued to post on my Instagram. Months later,

1227
00:54:12,760 --> 00:54:15,040
Speaker 8: my friend Leah comes to me and tells me about

1228
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:17,960
Speaker 8: this guy she matched with on the dating app. Surprise, surprise,

1229
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:21,279
Speaker 8: it's Dave. Leah starts saying why she understands why it

1230
00:54:21,280 --> 00:54:23,279
Speaker 8: wouldn't work out with me and Dave because we have

1231
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:26,000
Speaker 8: nothing in common, and that she's really excited for her

1232
00:54:26,120 --> 00:54:28,479
Speaker 8: date with Dave. I was also excited for her. At first,

1233
00:54:28,719 --> 00:54:31,080
Speaker 8: she went on her first date with him, things were

1234
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:33,640
Speaker 8: going on very well. On the second date, Dave tells

1235
00:54:33,760 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 8: Leah that he wants to meet her friends. He was

1236
00:54:36,040 --> 00:54:38,759
Speaker 8: so pushy about meeting her friends that he said he

1237
00:54:38,880 --> 00:54:41,200
Speaker 8: would have planned the whole thing. I told Leah that

1238
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:43,840
Speaker 8: I definitely did not have to meet Dave until they

1239
00:54:43,880 --> 00:54:46,319
Speaker 8: were more settled into the relationship, and I wouldn't take

1240
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:49,640
Speaker 8: offense to not being invited. Leah told me she wanted

1241
00:54:49,680 --> 00:54:52,240
Speaker 8: me to go and that all she felt she needed

1242
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:54,600
Speaker 8: to do was tell Dave that I would be at

1243
00:54:54,840 --> 00:54:58,640
Speaker 8: this meeting the friend's date. On Leah's third day with Dave,

1244
00:54:58,960 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 8: she asked who his celebrity grushes, and Dave responds with

1245
00:55:02,640 --> 00:55:05,920
Speaker 8: a popular actress of my ethnicity, and then continues to

1246
00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,880
Speaker 8: express how women of my ignicity are his type. Leah

1247
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 8: has a very different ignoity to me, and Dave was

1248
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 8: well aware of this. She finally musters up the courage

1249
00:55:15,000 --> 00:55:17,320
Speaker 8: to tell him that she is friends with me, and

1250
00:55:17,440 --> 00:55:20,400
Speaker 8: when she does, she tells her, oh, I know, do

1251
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,960
Speaker 8: you know why she ghosted me? Then he proceeds to

1252
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 8: tell her that he would bring a friend and turn

1253
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 8: his next day into a double date for us. I

1254
00:55:27,560 --> 00:55:29,959
Speaker 8: got to the double date, surprise, surprise, his friend doesn't

1255
00:55:30,000 --> 00:55:32,560
Speaker 8: show up because he's too afraid of women. Then we

1256
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:35,160
Speaker 8: go through with the day with Dave and Leah heavily

1257
00:55:35,280 --> 00:55:37,719
Speaker 8: making out everywhere. We went to to the point where

1258
00:55:37,760 --> 00:55:40,520
Speaker 8: I just continued to get secondhand embarrassment then I realized

1259
00:55:40,560 --> 00:55:43,000
Speaker 8: that my ex boyfriend worked at one of the stores nearby,

1260
00:55:43,200 --> 00:55:44,800
Speaker 8: and since I was on good terms with him, I

1261
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 8: decided to stop by and say hi again. This is

1262
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:50,239
Speaker 8: before me and my current boyfriend got to a relationship.

1263
00:55:50,400 --> 00:55:52,600
Speaker 8: Leah and Dave showed up, and Dave asked my ex

1264
00:55:52,680 --> 00:55:53,800
Speaker 8: if he wanted to join.

1265
00:55:53,760 --> 00:55:55,960
Speaker 3: Us, so we did so he became a double date

1266
00:55:56,080 --> 00:55:56,600
Speaker 3: with your ex.

1267
00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,360
Speaker 8: Yeah, it was a pretty awkward setup since Leah and

1268
00:55:59,480 --> 00:56:02,120
Speaker 8: Dave cantinued too heavily make out at the restaurant we

1269
00:56:02,160 --> 00:56:04,640
Speaker 8: went to, but thankfully I was able to get through

1270
00:56:04,760 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 8: with it without dying of boredom. Ew A couple of

1271
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:09,640
Speaker 8: weeks go by, and this is when I started dating

1272
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,440
Speaker 8: my boyfriend. He made it official before Leah and Dave did,

1273
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:15,400
Speaker 8: and when he finally asked Leah to be his girlfriend,

1274
00:56:15,480 --> 00:56:18,040
Speaker 8: he sort of did it through text. Lea then tells

1275
00:56:18,120 --> 00:56:19,919
Speaker 8: me they had gone on a date in the same

1276
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,279
Speaker 8: mall we had gone on our double day, and that

1277
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,759
Speaker 8: Dave had gone back to this store where my ex

1278
00:56:24,880 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 8: worked to see if he could find him. Lee had

1279
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:28,440
Speaker 8: tried to play it off as a really cute thing,

1280
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:31,479
Speaker 8: because apparently Dave doesn't have a lot of friends since

1281
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,400
Speaker 8: he just transferred to his college. She believes he's just

1282
00:56:34,520 --> 00:56:36,719
Speaker 8: trying to make friends his on age. I don't find

1283
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:40,239
Speaker 8: it as endearing since my ex was visibly uncomfortable with

1284
00:56:40,400 --> 00:56:42,960
Speaker 8: Dave throughout the dinner and barely talk to him.

1285
00:56:43,040 --> 00:56:46,360
Speaker 3: Ooh yeah, because guess what, Dave had someone's tongue downs

1286
00:56:46,400 --> 00:56:47,279
Speaker 3: throughout the entire time.

1287
00:56:47,360 --> 00:56:48,080
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Dave.

1288
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:50,400
Speaker 3: Oh goodbye, gonna go make out now. Ah.

1289
00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:52,800
Speaker 8: A couple months later, my boyfriend and I started to

1290
00:56:52,880 --> 00:56:55,680
Speaker 8: have issues. I confided in Leah. She wasn't really helpful

1291
00:56:55,719 --> 00:56:58,120
Speaker 8: since all she talked about was Dave would never do

1292
00:56:58,239 --> 00:57:00,680
Speaker 8: that to her. She also brought up the fact that

1293
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:03,440
Speaker 8: she had a coworker who was looking for a girlfriend

1294
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:07,280
Speaker 8: and that she showed him my Instagram and he seemed interested.

1295
00:57:07,640 --> 00:57:11,120
Speaker 8: Leah started talking about how her coworker is actually one

1296
00:57:11,160 --> 00:57:14,040
Speaker 8: of Dave's new friends and how they're getting along well.

1297
00:57:14,160 --> 00:57:16,520
Speaker 8: Leah then puts Dave on the phone and he proceeds

1298
00:57:16,560 --> 00:57:18,640
Speaker 8: to tell me that I should break up with my boyfriend.

1299
00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:21,160
Speaker 8: Dave has never met my boyfriend. Dave also said that

1300
00:57:21,240 --> 00:57:23,880
Speaker 8: I should get myself a man of his ethnicity so

1301
00:57:23,960 --> 00:57:25,920
Speaker 8: she can get a trial run before she actually gets

1302
00:57:25,960 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 8: with Dave, so she's like, Okay, this is what this

1303
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:28,880
Speaker 8: is gonna be like, and I'll be ready for Dave.

1304
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:31,960
Speaker 8: Lea then admits to me that Dave has been continuously

1305
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,760
Speaker 8: asking her for updates on how my relationship with my

1306
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,480
Speaker 8: boyfriend is and ask if we have broken up yet.

1307
00:57:37,520 --> 00:57:39,080
Speaker 8: A couple of the days later, I get a follow

1308
00:57:39,160 --> 00:57:41,560
Speaker 8: request from Lea's coworker, and I asked her if she

1309
00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 8: had told him to follow me. She says Dave was

1310
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 8: the one who told him to follow me and said

1311
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,880
Speaker 8: that Lea's coworker would treat me better. Dave just met

1312
00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:52,000
Speaker 8: Lea's co worker. He doesn't even know him that well.

1313
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:54,560
Speaker 8: A couple of hours later, Dave requested to follow me

1314
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,640
Speaker 8: on his alternate account. I don't know what else to

1315
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,919
Speaker 8: say or do. Leah, my boyfriend, nor my friends seem

1316
00:58:00,120 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 8: to be at all upset about this behavior, or at

1317
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,120
Speaker 8: least not at the level I'm upset. My friends have

1318
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:07,520
Speaker 8: said it's very odd and it seems to think he's

1319
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:11,040
Speaker 8: weirdly involved with my life as my friend's boyfriend. Is

1320
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:13,280
Speaker 8: this not weird? Am I wrong for being upset? I'm

1321
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:15,640
Speaker 8: a number one stay away block him out of your

1322
00:58:15,680 --> 00:58:18,640
Speaker 8: life and don't share as much info with Leah. Make

1323
00:58:18,760 --> 00:58:21,160
Speaker 8: new friends. This is really important because it's got to

1324
00:58:21,280 --> 00:58:23,600
Speaker 8: have a support system. I would ask your ex what

1325
00:58:23,760 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 8: he thinks about Dave and what they talked about, and

1326
00:58:26,160 --> 00:58:28,320
Speaker 8: tell him you'd rather say they don't talk about you

1327
00:58:28,440 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 8: because you're unsure of Dave. It is definitely weird behavior. Also,

1328
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 8: it doesn't matter what they think at all. If it

1329
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:36,480
Speaker 8: feels weird to you, then move on and wait till

1330
00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,720
Speaker 8: your feelings are proved. Otherwise, Ope, I have my own friends.

1331
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:41,720
Speaker 8: I think I will be making space between Lee and

1332
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:44,200
Speaker 8: I for this and other reasons as well. Thank you

1333
00:58:44,280 --> 00:58:46,800
Speaker 8: for your advice. Thankfully, my ex wasn't working the day

1334
00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:49,080
Speaker 8: Dave went looking for him. I asked what they talked

1335
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,640
Speaker 8: about when Leah and I were into the bathroom, and

1336
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,960
Speaker 8: he said they be three talked about how football, and

1337
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,920
Speaker 8: that he felt a little uncomfortable with how overly friendly

1338
00:58:57,000 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 8: he was with him due to my current relationship. I

1339
00:58:59,200 --> 00:59:01,680
Speaker 8: don't think it's a idea to be talking to my ex,

1340
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:04,960
Speaker 8: but if the situation somehow escalates, I may reach out

1341
00:59:04,960 --> 00:59:08,400
Speaker 8: to him. Comment Er two editors note Leah she doesn't

1342
00:59:08,480 --> 00:59:11,240
Speaker 8: think it's an issue that her boyfriend's type is the

1343
00:59:11,280 --> 00:59:14,080
Speaker 8: opposite of what she is. Like my gosh, I know

1344
00:59:14,280 --> 00:59:17,840
Speaker 8: he's young, but yesh OPI she just clings it onto

1345
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 8: the fact that people tell us we look alike, so

1346
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:23,120
Speaker 8: therefore she thinks she looks good enough like the people

1347
00:59:23,240 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 8: of my agnicity who pass four for it to be okay. Also,

1348
00:59:27,000 --> 00:59:30,080
Speaker 8: Dave tried to backpedal and said that he didn't think

1349
00:59:30,280 --> 00:59:33,360
Speaker 8: I was of that ethnicity, but somehow she did, and

1350
00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:35,880
Speaker 8: yet we look alike. I don't know. It's all really

1351
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:39,040
Speaker 8: weird because my opinion is gaslighting, but I don't know.

1352
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,720
Speaker 8: Commenty three, Dave is going to try to be your

1353
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:45,040
Speaker 8: boyfriend's best buddy. You need to take this more seriously.

1354
00:59:45,320 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 8: The guy is showing classic stalker nice guy behavior. Consider

1355
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,240
Speaker 8: making your socials all private for a year or two,

1356
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:55,240
Speaker 8: because yes, it'll take that long. Don't let your friends

1357
00:59:55,360 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 8: know if you're alone anywhere if Dave might find out,

1358
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 8: tell your parents are other people outside the friend group,

1359
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:03,840
Speaker 8: and never go anywhere Dave is. If he's there, leave,

1360
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:06,680
Speaker 8: don't be nice about it. He's taking advantage of everyone

1361
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 8: wanting to be nice. Nope, he's dangerous, Opie. All of

1362
01:00:09,880 --> 01:00:12,880
Speaker 8: my socials are bribed. I removed him from my followers.

1363
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 8: I haven't told my family, although they think I am overreacting.

1364
01:00:16,800 --> 01:00:18,680
Speaker 8: I talked to Leah and she told me that she

1365
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 8: really wanted to go on a trip with all four

1366
01:00:20,720 --> 01:00:23,120
Speaker 8: of us. I brought up the fact that Dave doesn't

1367
01:00:23,160 --> 01:00:25,400
Speaker 8: seem to like my boyfriend as a way to get

1368
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:27,600
Speaker 8: out of it, and Leah just said, oh, well, Dave,

1369
01:00:27,680 --> 01:00:30,080
Speaker 8: we'll play nice during the trip. So I can definitely

1370
01:00:30,120 --> 01:00:32,600
Speaker 8: see where you're coming from. He's being aggressive a meeting you,

1371
01:00:32,760 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 8: we got an update.

1372
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:38,439
Speaker 1: He's just trying to be friendly. Like, it's just Dave.

1373
01:00:38,600 --> 01:00:42,160
Speaker 1: Dave's the best. He's so cool everywhere.

1374
01:00:42,560 --> 01:00:44,040
Speaker 8: Yeah, he's just the best. Ever.

1375
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:47,280
Speaker 3: Do you think it's to that extent of the craziness

1376
01:00:47,400 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 3: or is he actually trying to just like maybe it's

1377
01:00:49,360 --> 01:00:51,920
Speaker 3: just like so forward of like I want to be

1378
01:00:52,600 --> 01:00:54,080
Speaker 3: I want to I want you to feel you know,

1379
01:00:54,160 --> 01:00:55,360
Speaker 3: I want you to be friends with me. I want

1380
01:00:55,360 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 3: to I want to have you know, I want you

1381
01:00:56,920 --> 01:00:58,880
Speaker 3: to be comfortable with me and hang out with us.

1382
01:00:58,960 --> 01:01:02,440
Speaker 8: And yeah, I think when it comes to friendships, it

1383
01:01:02,520 --> 01:01:05,040
Speaker 8: needs to be you know, people you are excited to

1384
01:01:05,080 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 8: be around, and you don't feel bad when you leave them.

1385
01:01:07,320 --> 01:01:08,480
Speaker 3: I think that's what he's trying to do.

1386
01:01:08,680 --> 01:01:11,280
Speaker 8: And I think Dave is trying to force something. He's

1387
01:01:11,320 --> 01:01:14,000
Speaker 8: trying to force something that's not natural. Just needs to

1388
01:01:14,120 --> 01:01:15,920
Speaker 8: be out of the picture because I don't know why

1389
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:18,360
Speaker 8: he wants to be nero p as much.

1390
01:01:18,520 --> 01:01:19,320
Speaker 1: You know, he's trying.

1391
01:01:19,400 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 3: Maybe he's trying to use Leah to get to her,

1392
01:01:23,120 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 3: to ope.

1393
01:01:23,720 --> 01:01:25,120
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I think he.

1394
01:01:25,160 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 8: Wanted to talk to the ecstasy where he was and

1395
01:01:28,480 --> 01:01:30,080
Speaker 8: op was so we could be like, are they dating?

1396
01:01:30,120 --> 01:01:30,440
Speaker 8: Are they not?

1397
01:01:30,880 --> 01:01:33,480
Speaker 3: I just think Dave is trying to be too forward

1398
01:01:33,520 --> 01:01:35,360
Speaker 3: and you're like, slow.

1399
01:01:34,840 --> 01:01:35,320
Speaker 1: Your role man.

1400
01:01:35,400 --> 01:01:36,320
Speaker 3: Things need to be genuine.

1401
01:01:36,400 --> 01:01:38,160
Speaker 8: We got an updates. Thank you so much for all

1402
01:01:38,240 --> 01:01:40,320
Speaker 8: the support you gave me on my original post. I

1403
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:43,280
Speaker 8: just wanted to update you all on the development since then.

1404
01:01:43,400 --> 01:01:45,800
Speaker 8: My boyfriend and I made up and I updated him

1405
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:48,880
Speaker 8: on the situation with Leah, Dave and Leah's coworker. At first,

1406
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,240
Speaker 8: my boyfriend seemed unfazed. The more time passed, the more

1407
01:01:52,280 --> 01:01:54,600
Speaker 8: it seemed to bother him. Lea came over the night

1408
01:01:54,720 --> 01:01:57,320
Speaker 8: I uploaded the original post, and the first thing she

1409
01:01:57,440 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 8: said was, so, what happened with your boyfriend? Everyone's is

1410
01:02:01,160 --> 01:02:03,720
Speaker 8: dying to know, and by everyone, I mean Dave and

1411
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,520
Speaker 8: my coworker a huge smile on her face. I pointed

1412
01:02:06,560 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 8: out the fact that it was odd that they wanted

1413
01:02:09,000 --> 01:02:11,880
Speaker 8: to know so badly. Leah simply brushed it off and

1414
01:02:12,040 --> 01:02:14,920
Speaker 8: said that her coworker actually wanted to apologize to me.

1415
01:02:15,160 --> 01:02:17,840
Speaker 8: Leah said that supposedly Dave had made it sound like

1416
01:02:17,920 --> 01:02:20,600
Speaker 8: my relationship was done for, which is why her coworker

1417
01:02:20,720 --> 01:02:23,280
Speaker 8: requested me. As for Dave, he just continues to ask

1418
01:02:23,400 --> 01:02:25,720
Speaker 8: Leah if I've broken up with him yet. Leah continued

1419
01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:28,800
Speaker 8: to express her disappointment with some comments Dave has started

1420
01:02:28,840 --> 01:02:32,040
Speaker 8: to make about her size. She specifically talked about how

1421
01:02:32,360 --> 01:02:34,360
Speaker 8: she had wanted to get some dessert, but he had

1422
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:37,240
Speaker 8: refused to get anything, and then asked Leah, do you

1423
01:02:37,360 --> 01:02:39,600
Speaker 8: get desserts with your friends every time you go out

1424
01:02:39,640 --> 01:02:42,640
Speaker 8: with them? And Leah alluded to him bat shaming her friends,

1425
01:02:42,800 --> 01:02:45,160
Speaker 8: specifically me and one of her other friends. A day

1426
01:02:45,240 --> 01:02:47,280
Speaker 8: or so later, Leah caused me and tells me that

1427
01:02:47,400 --> 01:02:49,840
Speaker 8: Dave has once again asked her if I've broken up

1428
01:02:49,880 --> 01:02:52,200
Speaker 8: with my boyfriend. Yet we continue talking. She says that

1429
01:02:52,320 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 8: unfortunately she doesn't think that we can go on that

1430
01:02:54,840 --> 01:02:56,840
Speaker 8: trip he's been wanting to go with all four of

1431
01:02:56,960 --> 01:02:59,240
Speaker 8: us on. Although I had already decided I wouldn't go

1432
01:02:59,520 --> 01:03:02,640
Speaker 8: anywhere if Dave were present, curiosity got the better of me,

1433
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,360
Speaker 8: and I asked what changed her mind. She said, if

1434
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 8: Dave was in the same room as your boyfriend, I

1435
01:03:07,920 --> 01:03:10,080
Speaker 8: think he would want to fight him. She was being

1436
01:03:10,400 --> 01:03:13,040
Speaker 8: definitely serious. My boyfriend and I got into a pretty

1437
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,840
Speaker 8: run in the mill argument. He didn't cheat or lie,

1438
01:03:16,080 --> 01:03:18,960
Speaker 8: or still or hit. It was a simple disagreement. Therefore,

1439
01:03:19,360 --> 01:03:22,240
Speaker 8: I don't think it's getting physical with my boyfriend that

1440
01:03:22,440 --> 01:03:25,720
Speaker 8: all warranted, especially considering the fact that his rage is

1441
01:03:25,800 --> 01:03:29,000
Speaker 8: coming from my friend's boyfriend, who I originally turned down

1442
01:03:29,080 --> 01:03:31,400
Speaker 8: and barely known. The day after this phone call, my

1443
01:03:31,480 --> 01:03:34,240
Speaker 8: boyfriend brought up Dave and asked if he had done

1444
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:37,600
Speaker 8: anything else. I informed him, and he seemed genuinely concerned

1445
01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:40,680
Speaker 8: for Leah. He said that I should generally consider intervening

1446
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:44,280
Speaker 8: as things I've seen only gotten worse. And you know

1447
01:03:44,360 --> 01:03:47,120
Speaker 8: what's not what the worst thing ever is joining our

1448
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,320
Speaker 8: podcast why and listening to more stories just like this.

1449
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 8: Your favorite podcast platforms just look us up on Spotify, Apple, Podcast, Okay, storytime, we're.

1450
01:03:56,280 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 3: There and we just added another story.

1451
01:03:57,800 --> 01:03:59,600
Speaker 8: Yeah, dude, this is get look kind of weird.

1452
01:04:00,760 --> 01:04:03,880
Speaker 3: The fact that Leah is if nothing is jumping at

1453
01:04:03,960 --> 01:04:07,640
Speaker 3: Leah like a girl. Do you not see like you're

1454
01:04:07,680 --> 01:04:09,560
Speaker 3: like a dear headlights and you don't see the headlights

1455
01:04:09,640 --> 01:04:13,720
Speaker 3: like this guy is blatantly saying weird stuff and asking

1456
01:04:14,000 --> 01:04:15,520
Speaker 3: consistently about Op.

1457
01:04:15,840 --> 01:04:17,320
Speaker 1: Yeah it is Dave. Yeah.

1458
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 8: I made efforts to intervene. This relationship between Dave and

1459
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:24,880
Speaker 8: Leah was fresh. However, Leah simply accused me of jealousy.

1460
01:04:24,960 --> 01:04:26,680
Speaker 8: But i'd been single at the time, I would have

1461
01:04:26,760 --> 01:04:29,440
Speaker 8: bit my tongue and taken a harsh accusation. However, by

1462
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:31,440
Speaker 8: this time she made the accusation, I was in my

1463
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,200
Speaker 8: relationship with my current boyfriend.

1464
01:04:33,360 --> 01:04:33,560
Speaker 1: There.

1465
01:04:33,800 --> 01:04:37,280
Speaker 8: The accusation truly upset me, so specifically because it was

1466
01:04:37,320 --> 01:04:40,240
Speaker 8: an insult to my boyfriend and our relationship. After reading

1467
01:04:40,320 --> 01:04:42,880
Speaker 8: so many of your comments, which I greatly appreciate, I

1468
01:04:42,920 --> 01:04:45,520
Speaker 8: think I've decided to make some space between me and Leah.

1469
01:04:45,560 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 8: Am I wrong for this? Should I try harder to intervene?

1470
01:04:48,240 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 8: And we got like some comments here, I'm at number one. Sorry, Op,

1471
01:04:51,320 --> 01:04:53,480
Speaker 8: It's time to go st Leah as well. Dave is

1472
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:56,200
Speaker 8: stalking you and she's enabling it. Yeah, I don't know

1473
01:04:56,280 --> 01:04:59,240
Speaker 8: why she doesn't see this is going on, lack of

1474
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:03,000
Speaker 8: self respect, insecure, but she's feeding info about you, so

1475
01:05:03,320 --> 01:05:05,640
Speaker 8: she's just as bad. At this point, eave them both

1476
01:05:05,680 --> 01:05:08,200
Speaker 8: at a very far distance. Has no one else pointed

1477
01:05:08,200 --> 01:05:10,880
Speaker 8: out to Leah that Dave is only with her because

1478
01:05:10,920 --> 01:05:13,400
Speaker 8: of you? Op? No, That's why I feel like I'm

1479
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 8: the one that's crazy. Leah has two other friends. I'm

1480
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:18,280
Speaker 8: close with one of them, but not really the other

1481
01:05:18,360 --> 01:05:21,400
Speaker 8: one that she constantly talks to. Ording to her, he

1482
01:05:21,600 --> 01:05:24,200
Speaker 8: told them the whole story, and they both didn't see

1483
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:27,400
Speaker 8: anything wrong with Dave or his actions. I genuinely thought

1484
01:05:27,720 --> 01:05:30,040
Speaker 8: that she was lying to me about telling them the

1485
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 8: whole truth, but after talking to one of them, I

1486
01:05:32,440 --> 01:05:35,640
Speaker 8: realized that she did, in fact know the whole story.

1487
01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 8: She believes Dave is a perfectly fine guy. There are

1488
01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 8: other issues that Dave has that I haven't necessarily mentioned

1489
01:05:41,720 --> 01:05:44,600
Speaker 8: because they're not relevant through the specific story. But if

1490
01:05:44,640 --> 01:05:47,960
Speaker 8: you cut me off and all the weird interactions Dave

1491
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:50,200
Speaker 8: has with me, he is still not a good guy

1492
01:05:50,360 --> 01:05:53,000
Speaker 8: to get into a relationship In with in my opinion,

1493
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:57,520
Speaker 8: nonviolent crime level stuff. So I just don't understand why

1494
01:05:57,640 --> 01:05:59,800
Speaker 8: everyone is so chill with it, which is why I

1495
01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:01,560
Speaker 8: like I was the problem.

1496
01:06:01,760 --> 01:06:02,240
Speaker 1: They're bored.

1497
01:06:02,440 --> 01:06:05,400
Speaker 3: They're so bored that they're so entertained with your life.

1498
01:06:05,720 --> 01:06:07,800
Speaker 3: That's what That's what I'm getting that Dave and Lee

1499
01:06:07,840 --> 01:06:10,360
Speaker 3: are so freaking bored out of their minds with their

1500
01:06:10,400 --> 01:06:12,840
Speaker 3: own lives and with each other, that they're so interested

1501
01:06:12,880 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 3: in your life. Get away from them.

1502
01:06:14,280 --> 01:06:14,680
Speaker 8: Get away.

1503
01:06:14,880 --> 01:06:15,720
Speaker 1: That's all you need to you.

1504
01:06:15,880 --> 01:06:17,400
Speaker 8: You got to get out of there. But now we're

1505
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 8: going to the next story.

1506
01:06:20,040 --> 01:06:21,960
Speaker 2: Hey it's Sam. We we get back to the stories.

1507
01:06:22,000 --> 01:06:23,880
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors.

1508
01:06:24,600 --> 01:06:27,200
Speaker 3: My friend made me pay for everything at her wedding,

1509
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:29,880
Speaker 3: all the while talking bad behind my back.

1510
01:06:30,080 --> 01:06:32,640
Speaker 8: Yeah it's like she did pay for this, but she

1511
01:06:32,720 --> 01:06:33,800
Speaker 8: smelled that she.

1512
01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:35,640
Speaker 3: Didn't pay enough of it. I was asked to be

1513
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 3: made of honor by a friend of mine who I've

1514
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:39,840
Speaker 3: had a rocky past with. She doesn't really have anyone

1515
01:06:39,920 --> 01:06:42,120
Speaker 3: close in her life that lasts longer than a few years,

1516
01:06:42,240 --> 01:06:45,200
Speaker 3: and she also changes jobs every few months because she's

1517
01:06:45,560 --> 01:06:49,080
Speaker 3: high conflict and causes drama constantly. She thrives off of it.

1518
01:06:49,200 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Schmeg the Meg, and

1519
01:06:51,600 --> 01:06:55,200
Speaker 3: you can submit your stories at our slash Okay Storytime subreddit.

1520
01:06:55,360 --> 01:06:57,919
Speaker 3: So in hindsight, I should have said no, especially knowing

1521
01:06:57,960 --> 01:07:01,439
Speaker 3: this was her and the groom's third engagement, so off

1522
01:07:01,480 --> 01:07:04,360
Speaker 3: and on. But I agreed and took everything so seriously.

1523
01:07:04,600 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 3: Bride Zilla was an understatement. She changed the members of

1524
01:07:07,560 --> 01:07:10,760
Speaker 3: the bridle party five times, so I had to constantly

1525
01:07:11,040 --> 01:07:13,760
Speaker 3: track down new people. Her bridal shower had to be

1526
01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:17,840
Speaker 3: this one very specific country club that was extremely expensive.

1527
01:07:18,000 --> 01:07:19,960
Speaker 3: She changed the date of the actual wedding and forgot

1528
01:07:20,000 --> 01:07:22,520
Speaker 3: to tell me for months, and it was on a Friday,

1529
01:07:22,640 --> 01:07:24,640
Speaker 3: so I had to request off work. Nothing I bought

1530
01:07:24,760 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 3: was good enough, and she always requested more, more, more.

1531
01:07:27,880 --> 01:07:29,920
Speaker 3: She changed my dress color after I bought it. She

1532
01:07:30,040 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 3: also just stopped talking to me unless it was about

1533
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,520
Speaker 3: the wedding and had no idea what was going on

1534
01:07:34,680 --> 01:07:38,280
Speaker 3: in my personal life. I paid for just about everything

1535
01:07:38,400 --> 01:07:40,520
Speaker 3: because the people she kept inviting in the bridal party

1536
01:07:40,600 --> 01:07:43,720
Speaker 3: were younger than us early twenties. I'm twenty seven, bride

1537
01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:46,320
Speaker 3: is thirty three and has no stable income. I have

1538
01:07:46,400 --> 01:07:48,640
Speaker 3: a good job and I'm really smart with my money,

1539
01:07:48,760 --> 01:07:51,120
Speaker 3: but even for me, it was really difficult. I'm talking

1540
01:07:51,160 --> 01:07:53,840
Speaker 3: about six thousand dollars on this dang wedding as made

1541
01:07:53,880 --> 01:07:55,920
Speaker 3: of honor. I'm trying to plan my own.

1542
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:57,240
Speaker 1: Soon as well. Well.

1543
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,160
Speaker 3: The day of the wedding comes, I make sure she

1544
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 3: had a bunch of customer gifts, a day off bag,

1545
01:08:01,560 --> 01:08:03,280
Speaker 3: My speech was beautiful, et cetera.

1546
01:08:03,480 --> 01:08:07,240
Speaker 1: But she was so rude to me the entire day.

1547
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:08,080
Speaker 1: She has a new.

1548
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:10,440
Speaker 3: Bff she met about four months before the wedding, and

1549
01:08:10,480 --> 01:08:12,480
Speaker 3: they are attached at the hip, and all she wanted

1550
01:08:12,520 --> 01:08:14,880
Speaker 3: to do was talk to her. But whatever, I was

1551
01:08:14,920 --> 01:08:17,920
Speaker 3: super busy handling everything, so I tried to ignore it. Riley,

1552
01:08:18,120 --> 01:08:21,439
Speaker 3: who's the a hole here? Whoo's the a hole here?

1553
01:08:21,800 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 8: Come on?

1554
01:08:22,280 --> 01:08:24,400
Speaker 3: The wedding comes and goes. She leaves to go to

1555
01:08:24,439 --> 01:08:26,840
Speaker 3: the after party with her new bff, and I stayed

1556
01:08:26,880 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 3: behind to clean up the entire venue with the help

1557
01:08:29,160 --> 01:08:31,680
Speaker 3: of my boyfriend. After and we go home. Well, I

1558
01:08:31,760 --> 01:08:33,760
Speaker 3: get a call today from her cousin, who was also

1559
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:36,280
Speaker 3: in the wedding party, who I really bonded with over

1560
01:08:36,360 --> 01:08:39,040
Speaker 3: this awful experience. She told me that she didn't want

1561
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:41,120
Speaker 3: to say anything to me, but she thinks I deserve

1562
01:08:41,200 --> 01:08:43,400
Speaker 3: to know because I'm already buying Christmas gifts for the

1563
01:08:43,439 --> 01:08:44,639
Speaker 3: bride and her kids.

1564
01:08:45,080 --> 01:08:46,439
Speaker 1: Oha whoa.

1565
01:08:46,640 --> 01:08:48,360
Speaker 3: Her cousin tells me that every time I left the

1566
01:08:48,400 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 3: bridal suite the day of the wedding, the bride would

1567
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:53,080
Speaker 3: announce to everyone in the room that she couldn't stand me.

1568
01:08:53,439 --> 01:08:56,759
Speaker 3: I wish she weren't even here. I'm so effing annoying.

1569
01:08:57,000 --> 01:08:59,040
Speaker 3: She also has a separate group chat with her sisters

1570
01:08:59,080 --> 01:09:02,160
Speaker 3: and cousins, and he continues to talk crap on me there,

1571
01:09:02,439 --> 01:09:04,360
Speaker 3: mind you. She just sent me a Christmas list for

1572
01:09:04,439 --> 01:09:07,360
Speaker 3: her kids last week. Everything's already bought and wrapped. I

1573
01:09:07,439 --> 01:09:10,759
Speaker 3: feel so hurt and so used, and honestly really stupid.

1574
01:09:10,840 --> 01:09:12,680
Speaker 3: I just blocked her on everything. I don't want to

1575
01:09:12,720 --> 01:09:14,960
Speaker 3: even message her because I know she'll somehow twist it

1576
01:09:15,000 --> 01:09:16,280
Speaker 3: around and make it my fault.

1577
01:09:16,439 --> 01:09:16,920
Speaker 1: Edit an ad.

1578
01:09:17,000 --> 01:09:18,560
Speaker 3: I'm seeing a lot of comments saying this is on

1579
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:21,479
Speaker 3: me for missing slash ignoring red flags, and I one

1580
01:09:21,600 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 3: hundred percent agree. I should have gone more into the backstory,

1581
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:26,920
Speaker 3: but it's super complicated and long, so I left it out.

1582
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,000
Speaker 3: I used to be the stepmother of her oldest son,

1583
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:33,840
Speaker 3: so her ex is also my ex, and he's a

1584
01:09:34,040 --> 01:09:37,080
Speaker 3: huge piece of crap. But that's a story for another day.

1585
01:09:37,240 --> 01:09:39,519
Speaker 3: And I'm extremely boded to the kiddo. I was in

1586
01:09:39,600 --> 01:09:41,760
Speaker 3: his life from nine months old and she's allowed me

1587
01:09:41,840 --> 01:09:43,760
Speaker 3: to be involved in his life for the past four

1588
01:09:43,920 --> 01:09:44,599
Speaker 3: plus years.

1589
01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:46,320
Speaker 8: Yeah, because you keep buying stuff for him.

1590
01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:47,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe that's why.

1591
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:50,559
Speaker 3: Maybe she doesn't like you, Maybe she likes using you obviously,

1592
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:53,760
Speaker 3: I yeah, yeah. Even after I left the relationship, he's

1593
01:09:53,800 --> 01:09:56,080
Speaker 3: seven now, so a huge part of me feels this immense,

1594
01:09:56,200 --> 01:09:58,800
Speaker 3: incredible debt to her, and I will always appreciate her

1595
01:09:58,920 --> 01:10:01,000
Speaker 3: keeping me and her son's life. She didn't have to

1596
01:10:01,080 --> 01:10:04,559
Speaker 3: do that, but as my friend kids aside, she's incredibly

1597
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:07,280
Speaker 3: selfish and toxic. I should have made better boundaries and

1598
01:10:07,360 --> 01:10:10,240
Speaker 3: kept my guard up, but wow, that's easier said than

1599
01:10:10,360 --> 01:10:13,120
Speaker 3: done when kids are involved. At It's an ad Number two.

1600
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:15,560
Speaker 3: I also meant that I spent six thousand on the

1601
01:10:15,640 --> 01:10:19,680
Speaker 3: bridle shower slash bachelolette slash gifts, et cetera. I did

1602
01:10:19,760 --> 01:10:21,800
Speaker 3: not pay for the actual wedding venue itself, but six

1603
01:10:21,880 --> 01:10:25,040
Speaker 3: thousand dollars on my own money still for wedding related things.

1604
01:10:25,200 --> 01:10:27,960
Speaker 3: As dad three I appreciate everyone's advice. I was more

1605
01:10:28,040 --> 01:10:29,880
Speaker 3: or less venting on this post. I know I'm not

1606
01:10:30,000 --> 01:10:32,320
Speaker 3: blameless in this and definitely let it drag on too

1607
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:35,519
Speaker 3: long because I was slash am scared that once I

1608
01:10:35,640 --> 01:10:37,880
Speaker 3: upset Bridezilla, I lose access to being part of her

1609
01:10:38,000 --> 01:10:40,680
Speaker 3: children's lives. However, I agree that it's not healthy for

1610
01:10:40,760 --> 01:10:42,640
Speaker 3: me to continue to be in contact with her, and

1611
01:10:42,760 --> 01:10:45,400
Speaker 3: her children are better off seeing me being used as

1612
01:10:45,400 --> 01:10:47,880
Speaker 3: a doormat by their mother. I blocked her number and

1613
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:49,840
Speaker 3: I do not plan on interacting with her ever.

1614
01:10:49,960 --> 01:10:50,200
Speaker 1: Again.

1615
01:10:50,360 --> 01:10:52,200
Speaker 3: Time to just move on and focus on my own

1616
01:10:52,280 --> 01:10:54,240
Speaker 3: healing for once. We have an update.

1617
01:10:54,920 --> 01:10:57,599
Speaker 8: I'm so glad you realize that it took.

1618
01:10:58,280 --> 01:10:59,839
Speaker 3: It took the entire internet.

1619
01:11:00,000 --> 01:11:01,000
Speaker 1: I tell you, I was.

1620
01:11:01,040 --> 01:11:02,920
Speaker 8: Wondering why she didn't lie like you, but that that

1621
01:11:03,040 --> 01:11:06,040
Speaker 8: makes more sense. How did you did you get wrapped

1622
01:11:06,120 --> 01:11:06,519
Speaker 8: up into this?

1623
01:11:06,840 --> 01:11:10,400
Speaker 3: I really think she did what I said earlier because

1624
01:11:10,560 --> 01:11:14,479
Speaker 3: you did something with her ex all that stickiness. Literally,

1625
01:11:14,760 --> 01:11:18,200
Speaker 3: she's making you pay for it. Yeah, and you don't

1626
01:11:18,200 --> 01:11:19,920
Speaker 3: owe this woman a nickel?

1627
01:11:20,280 --> 01:11:21,519
Speaker 8: Don't you really don't know?

1628
01:11:21,680 --> 01:11:22,360
Speaker 1: P update?

1629
01:11:22,439 --> 01:11:25,000
Speaker 3: Hi everyone, This post definitely blew up more than I

1630
01:11:25,080 --> 01:11:27,280
Speaker 3: was expecting, so I wanted to give a quick update

1631
01:11:27,360 --> 01:11:29,360
Speaker 3: after this happened. A few things that some of you

1632
01:11:29,479 --> 01:11:31,280
Speaker 3: said to me really stuck with me. I was looking

1633
01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:33,240
Speaker 3: at all this from the perspective of not wanting to

1634
01:11:33,320 --> 01:11:35,280
Speaker 3: lose access to the children of the bride, who I

1635
01:11:35,400 --> 01:11:38,879
Speaker 3: love deeply. But I was not realizing that by allowing

1636
01:11:38,920 --> 01:11:41,240
Speaker 3: their mother to treat me poorly, that I was modeling

1637
01:11:41,320 --> 01:11:43,400
Speaker 3: for the kids how to treat their own loved ones.

1638
01:11:43,600 --> 01:11:45,439
Speaker 3: That really was a light bulb moment for me, and

1639
01:11:45,520 --> 01:11:48,040
Speaker 3: I realized I needed to cut ties. I initially told

1640
01:11:48,040 --> 01:11:49,800
Speaker 3: her that I needed space from her because of the

1641
01:11:49,800 --> 01:11:51,600
Speaker 3: way she has treated me as a friend, which she

1642
01:11:51,640 --> 01:11:53,479
Speaker 3: did not take well, and I had to block her

1643
01:11:53,560 --> 01:11:55,519
Speaker 3: number and a leader off social media to stop her

1644
01:11:55,560 --> 01:11:58,000
Speaker 3: from berating me with text. Once I did that, it

1645
01:11:58,120 --> 01:12:00,880
Speaker 3: was insane how much better I I felt. I truly

1646
01:12:00,920 --> 01:12:03,120
Speaker 3: didn't realize how much time and energy she took out

1647
01:12:03,120 --> 01:12:05,360
Speaker 3: of me every single day. I felt like a literal

1648
01:12:05,439 --> 01:12:07,439
Speaker 3: weight was lifted from my chest, and I wasn't filled

1649
01:12:07,479 --> 01:12:10,559
Speaker 3: with anxiety about whatever drama she constantly called slash text

1650
01:12:10,640 --> 01:12:12,280
Speaker 3: me about. I had no idea how much she had

1651
01:12:12,400 --> 01:12:15,000
Speaker 3: slowly taken from me across the course of our friendship.

1652
01:12:15,200 --> 01:12:17,439
Speaker 3: It was like being free of an emotional vampire. However,

1653
01:12:17,600 --> 01:12:20,360
Speaker 3: despite feeling so much better, I still felt that I

1654
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:23,680
Speaker 3: needed closure regarding the kids, who I do love and miss.

1655
01:12:23,960 --> 01:12:25,360
Speaker 3: I need to know in my heart that I did

1656
01:12:25,439 --> 01:12:27,439
Speaker 3: everything I could for them to know none of this

1657
01:12:27,640 --> 01:12:29,759
Speaker 3: is their fault. I decided to drop off the presence

1658
01:12:29,800 --> 01:12:32,000
Speaker 3: I already bought at their front doorstep and left a

1659
01:12:32,080 --> 01:12:34,679
Speaker 3: note letting her know that I was informed she spoke

1660
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 3: poorly about me in front of her children during the

1661
01:12:37,240 --> 01:12:40,360
Speaker 3: wedding day and that I simply cannot accept that disrespect anymore.

1662
01:12:40,479 --> 01:12:42,400
Speaker 8: There we go, Pete, there we go. All right, all right,

1663
01:12:42,479 --> 01:12:42,840
Speaker 8: I like this?

1664
01:12:43,000 --> 01:12:43,439
Speaker 1: Do you like this?

1665
01:12:43,640 --> 01:12:45,680
Speaker 3: It was very short and sweet, and I didn't go

1666
01:12:45,760 --> 01:12:48,040
Speaker 3: into much more detail than that. I also told her

1667
01:12:48,080 --> 01:12:50,679
Speaker 3: I had no interest in re kindling any type of friendship,

1668
01:12:50,800 --> 01:12:52,880
Speaker 3: that this was my closure and I do not want

1669
01:12:52,920 --> 01:12:56,360
Speaker 3: her to contact me any further. Apparently, she immediately took

1670
01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:59,960
Speaker 3: to social media and began making dozens of posts TikTok

1671
01:13:00,200 --> 01:13:03,320
Speaker 3: videos denying everything, as well as involving the kids in

1672
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:05,920
Speaker 3: the videos. Pope, he says, it's so sad, trash talking

1673
01:13:06,040 --> 01:13:08,920
Speaker 3: me and calling me a narcissist. Which is laughable, honestly,

1674
01:13:09,040 --> 01:13:11,200
Speaker 3: and it's her go to insult for anyone who wrongs her.

1675
01:13:11,360 --> 01:13:13,400
Speaker 3: I had friends send me a few and just belief,

1676
01:13:13,560 --> 01:13:15,840
Speaker 3: and while I appreciated being informed, I asked them not

1677
01:13:15,920 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 3: to send me anymore because I really don't care and

1678
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:20,080
Speaker 3: I don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing

1679
01:13:20,160 --> 01:13:22,040
Speaker 3: I saw any of them. And by the way, you

1680
01:13:22,120 --> 01:13:25,559
Speaker 3: can have the satisfaction of listening to us on our podcast.

1681
01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:28,840
Speaker 3: Just look us up on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

1682
01:13:28,880 --> 01:13:31,400
Speaker 3: you get your podcasts from search okay, storytime and you

1683
01:13:31,439 --> 01:13:34,080
Speaker 3: can find stories just like this. Heck, we just added

1684
01:13:34,080 --> 01:13:34,559
Speaker 3: another one.

1685
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:35,040
Speaker 6: We did.

1686
01:13:35,320 --> 01:13:38,920
Speaker 8: And very nice of you to give the gifts the kids.

1687
01:13:39,040 --> 01:13:39,760
Speaker 3: You didn't need to do that.

1688
01:13:39,960 --> 01:13:42,040
Speaker 8: Let them know they're not a part of this. No

1689
01:13:42,200 --> 01:13:42,760
Speaker 8: fronting her.

1690
01:13:43,880 --> 01:13:46,559
Speaker 3: Do you think she told the kids because she didn't

1691
01:13:46,560 --> 01:13:48,560
Speaker 3: give it to the kids. The mom probably got the

1692
01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:50,960
Speaker 3: gifts and was like, oh, she gave us the gifts

1693
01:13:51,000 --> 01:13:52,559
Speaker 3: and then she read the letters like, no, the gifts

1694
01:13:52,560 --> 01:13:54,360
Speaker 3: are yours. I probably try to keep the kids out

1695
01:13:54,360 --> 01:13:56,320
Speaker 3: of it. I mean, she tries to love them. She

1696
01:13:56,400 --> 01:13:59,360
Speaker 3: tried to, but you realize one day you did all

1697
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:02,240
Speaker 3: you could, but the best thing you can do is

1698
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:04,920
Speaker 3: just get away from this monster. Monster. Honestly, I just

1699
01:14:05,000 --> 01:14:07,519
Speaker 3: feel so bad for the kids, and I feel nothing

1700
01:14:07,560 --> 01:14:09,599
Speaker 3: but pity for their mother. How sad you be thirty

1701
01:14:09,600 --> 01:14:11,639
Speaker 3: three years old and instead of spending time on Christmas

1702
01:14:11,680 --> 01:14:14,200
Speaker 3: morning with your children, you're making TikTok videos to try

1703
01:14:14,240 --> 01:14:17,240
Speaker 3: and upset me and failing at it. Anyway, that's my update.

1704
01:14:17,320 --> 01:14:19,479
Speaker 3: I'm glad to finally put all this behind me. I

1705
01:14:19,520 --> 01:14:22,200
Speaker 3: feel like I've closed that chapter of such a chaotic

1706
01:14:22,360 --> 01:14:24,479
Speaker 3: and drama filled portion of my life. If any of

1707
01:14:24,560 --> 01:14:26,559
Speaker 3: you are dealing with a person like this in your lives,

1708
01:14:26,640 --> 01:14:28,720
Speaker 3: get out. Life is so much better without them in

1709
01:14:28,840 --> 01:14:31,400
Speaker 3: it to drag you down, I promise you. And that's

1710
01:14:31,439 --> 01:14:32,639
Speaker 3: the end of that story.

1711
01:14:32,960 --> 01:14:35,599
Speaker 8: Seeing that story, dang, good for you, Op, I'm glad

1712
01:14:35,640 --> 01:14:37,920
Speaker 8: you realize that, and we're a beacon of hope for

1713
01:14:38,040 --> 01:14:39,160
Speaker 8: others in this situation.

1714
01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:41,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can love from afar. Yep, you don't need

1715
01:14:41,800 --> 01:14:42,479
Speaker 3: to deal with that anymore.

1716
01:14:42,520 --> 01:14:44,360
Speaker 8: That's right, And we got another story for you, guys.

1717
01:14:45,479 --> 01:14:47,360
Speaker 8: I made a new friend at work, but now I

1718
01:14:47,520 --> 01:14:49,680
Speaker 8: realize she's been manipulating me.

1719
01:14:49,920 --> 01:14:50,760
Speaker 3: She's not your friend.

1720
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,920
Speaker 8: I female twenty two at this point, started working at

1721
01:14:53,960 --> 01:14:56,800
Speaker 8: a company in twenty twenty. This was my first real job.

1722
01:14:57,000 --> 01:14:59,360
Speaker 8: I saw a girl, let's call her Hannah, twenty two

1723
01:14:59,400 --> 01:15:02,160
Speaker 8: female out the time, who smiled so lovely to me

1724
01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:04,840
Speaker 8: on my first day, and immediately I got excited to

1725
01:15:04,880 --> 01:15:07,200
Speaker 8: become friends with her. We had sat close to each

1726
01:15:07,200 --> 01:15:10,080
Speaker 8: other since my first day. However, she was distance to

1727
01:15:10,200 --> 01:15:13,040
Speaker 8: respect her boundaries. I also remained distant, by the way.

1728
01:15:13,200 --> 01:15:15,599
Speaker 8: This comes from glowing days on the art slash owcase,

1729
01:15:15,600 --> 01:15:18,360
Speaker 8: storytime supper at so let me describe Hannah. Hannah works

1730
01:15:18,360 --> 01:15:22,200
Speaker 8: in our company as an operation specialist. She studied international

1731
01:15:22,320 --> 01:15:25,760
Speaker 8: relations and logistics. Her father was long gone to other

1732
01:15:25,840 --> 01:15:28,080
Speaker 8: women when she was a little girl. She grew up

1733
01:15:28,120 --> 01:15:31,080
Speaker 8: with her mother but did not get along well. She

1734
01:15:31,200 --> 01:15:34,240
Speaker 8: has only one friend, not more, only one who lives

1735
01:15:34,240 --> 01:15:37,120
Speaker 8: across the world, who loves art and music, but really

1736
01:15:37,280 --> 01:15:41,519
Speaker 8: stands against collective activities such as concerts, festivals and things

1737
01:15:41,600 --> 01:15:43,439
Speaker 8: like that. She loves to spend one on one time

1738
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:46,040
Speaker 8: with her friends and hates to introduce her friends to

1739
01:15:46,120 --> 01:15:48,200
Speaker 8: each other. She is single for years, and I still

1740
01:15:48,280 --> 01:15:51,200
Speaker 8: believe she will remain so for a while in the future.

1741
01:15:51,360 --> 01:15:54,160
Speaker 8: I think, see why I'm a fashion designer, but what

1742
01:15:54,280 --> 01:15:57,120
Speaker 8: I do is remotely linked to my actual job. I

1743
01:15:57,200 --> 01:15:59,880
Speaker 8: work as both a graphic and fashion designer in this company.

1744
01:16:00,080 --> 01:16:03,400
Speaker 8: I am so into fashion and complimentary aret about the

1745
01:16:03,520 --> 01:16:06,000
Speaker 8: fashion industry, and I try my best to become a

1746
01:16:06,080 --> 01:16:08,760
Speaker 8: part of today's fashion world. I'm also engaged to my

1747
01:16:08,880 --> 01:16:11,040
Speaker 8: boyfriend of four years. In time, I gained a few

1748
01:16:11,120 --> 01:16:13,559
Speaker 8: friends from work. One of them, what's call him Marvin

1749
01:16:13,920 --> 01:16:16,120
Speaker 8: Mail twenty four at the time, was really close to

1750
01:16:16,240 --> 01:16:18,960
Speaker 8: this girl and introduced us to each other. One day

1751
01:16:18,960 --> 01:16:21,360
Speaker 8: at work. We went to the sea side and talked

1752
01:16:21,400 --> 01:16:23,680
Speaker 8: about how our interests are alike. All of us got

1753
01:16:23,880 --> 01:16:26,080
Speaker 8: really closer with each other and spent a lot of

1754
01:16:26,120 --> 01:16:28,880
Speaker 8: time together. In time, we've gotten closer with Hannah and

1755
01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:31,439
Speaker 8: just a few issues with Marvin along the way. It

1756
01:16:31,600 --> 01:16:34,200
Speaker 8: was just me and Hannah. From there, Marvin and us

1757
01:16:34,320 --> 01:16:38,040
Speaker 8: grew apart. Anyway. I started noticing things things that Marvin

1758
01:16:38,160 --> 01:16:40,720
Speaker 8: once warned me about. He always said she was a

1759
01:16:40,840 --> 01:16:44,160
Speaker 8: huge manipulator, that I must be careful around her. Maybe

1760
01:16:44,240 --> 01:16:46,400
Speaker 8: she might be lying to us about her sickness to

1761
01:16:46,479 --> 01:16:49,200
Speaker 8: become a main character of our group, wanting us to

1762
01:16:49,280 --> 01:16:52,200
Speaker 8: be more interested in her than our own or each

1763
01:16:52,240 --> 01:16:55,080
Speaker 8: other's lives, but I cut contact with him and didn't

1764
01:16:55,080 --> 01:16:57,720
Speaker 8: believe him because he lied from time to time. After this,

1765
01:16:58,040 --> 01:17:01,200
Speaker 8: Hannah and I almost entire I really did everything together.

1766
01:17:01,360 --> 01:17:04,840
Speaker 8: We went to concerts, concerts that she finds suitable. We

1767
01:17:04,960 --> 01:17:08,120
Speaker 8: traveled from Italy to France. Nearly ten different countries we

1768
01:17:08,240 --> 01:17:11,160
Speaker 8: visited together. She made the most of the decisions because

1769
01:17:11,200 --> 01:17:13,840
Speaker 8: she always hated to do things that others wanted. I

1770
01:17:13,920 --> 01:17:16,639
Speaker 8: also spent so little time with my fiance during that time.

1771
01:17:16,760 --> 01:17:18,920
Speaker 8: We really didn't like her. Since the beginning, we went

1772
01:17:18,960 --> 01:17:21,439
Speaker 8: to fashion weeks, hiped up to the mountains, spent a

1773
01:17:21,479 --> 01:17:23,760
Speaker 8: lot of great time together. To this day, I still

1774
01:17:23,800 --> 01:17:26,680
Speaker 8: missed the times we've spent together. However, near the end,

1775
01:17:26,920 --> 01:17:30,280
Speaker 8: it was unbearable to do something, any simple thing with her.

1776
01:17:30,479 --> 01:17:33,040
Speaker 8: I noticed that she tries to manipulate me into doing

1777
01:17:33,160 --> 01:17:36,680
Speaker 8: things I hate. I scare, I feel anxious and uncomfortable

1778
01:17:36,960 --> 01:17:40,479
Speaker 8: while doing it. I was miserable a lot in those memories,

1779
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:43,120
Speaker 8: felt horrible and tired, and always hurt.

1780
01:17:43,200 --> 01:17:43,320
Speaker 1: Well.

1781
01:17:43,360 --> 01:17:45,799
Speaker 8: I hurt my ankle. She made me walk three miles,

1782
01:17:45,880 --> 01:17:49,120
Speaker 8: saying I was just whining and my ankle didn't hurt.

1783
01:17:49,240 --> 01:17:51,400
Speaker 8: She made me pay a lot and said, I will

1784
01:17:51,479 --> 01:17:53,760
Speaker 8: pay you in five minutes. I will venmo it to

1785
01:17:53,840 --> 01:17:55,120
Speaker 8: you tomorrow, but never did.

1786
01:17:55,280 --> 01:17:56,360
Speaker 3: Oh she's the main character.

1787
01:17:56,520 --> 01:17:59,759
Speaker 8: She made me remove every coworker from my socials because

1788
01:17:59,800 --> 01:18:02,479
Speaker 8: she doesn't feel comfortable with people saying that I am

1789
01:18:02,560 --> 01:18:04,519
Speaker 8: with her and knowing what she does on her holidays.

1790
01:18:04,800 --> 01:18:08,640
Speaker 3: This is very strange behavior. Are you? Why are you

1791
01:18:08,760 --> 01:18:10,680
Speaker 3: accepting this? Why are you doing this to maintain a

1792
01:18:10,720 --> 01:18:12,760
Speaker 3: friendship with someone you don't want to be friends with.

1793
01:18:12,960 --> 01:18:14,800
Speaker 8: I think she likes her a lot after all this.

1794
01:18:15,200 --> 01:18:18,200
Speaker 8: I think not OPI, but I think, oh, oh Hanna.

1795
01:18:18,280 --> 01:18:19,519
Speaker 1: I think Hannah Hannah.

1796
01:18:19,800 --> 01:18:23,839
Speaker 3: I doesn't sound like Hannah likes anyone doesn't Hannah likes herself.

1797
01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:26,439
Speaker 8: I'm no saying I blame myself for doing all that

1798
01:18:26,600 --> 01:18:30,040
Speaker 8: without questioning. However, I am a certified people pleaser and

1799
01:18:30,160 --> 01:18:33,720
Speaker 8: had a weak personality. I blame myself for not stepping up,

1800
01:18:33,880 --> 01:18:36,800
Speaker 8: not calling shots, and not trusting my own free will.

1801
01:18:36,960 --> 01:18:39,439
Speaker 8: I know my wrongs. This was a mistake and won't

1802
01:18:39,439 --> 01:18:41,599
Speaker 8: happen again. Everyone around me said that she was bad

1803
01:18:41,680 --> 01:18:44,120
Speaker 8: news for trying to control me, manipulate me, but I

1804
01:18:44,200 --> 01:18:46,760
Speaker 8: didn't see that coming. I had no idea how she

1805
01:18:46,840 --> 01:18:49,679
Speaker 8: could do it so smoothly. However, there were three points

1806
01:18:49,720 --> 01:18:52,280
Speaker 8: that helped me realize that I had to end my

1807
01:18:52,439 --> 01:18:55,160
Speaker 8: relationship with her. First one was on a trip to Greece.

1808
01:18:55,280 --> 01:18:58,320
Speaker 8: We went to Santorini and stayed in a budget friendly hostel.

1809
01:18:58,400 --> 01:19:01,519
Speaker 8: The hostel was a five floor building with a terrence

1810
01:19:01,560 --> 01:19:03,560
Speaker 8: on top. Our room was on the ground floor. We

1811
01:19:03,680 --> 01:19:07,160
Speaker 8: had to climb five floor stairs to dry our clothes.

1812
01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:09,599
Speaker 8: For a week, I climbed up and down several times

1813
01:19:09,640 --> 01:19:12,280
Speaker 8: a day, even though I had severe scar on my

1814
01:19:12,400 --> 01:19:15,320
Speaker 8: feet and wasn't able to walk normally. She didn't care

1815
01:19:15,520 --> 01:19:17,720
Speaker 8: that I was injured, didn't care that I had weak

1816
01:19:17,880 --> 01:19:20,800
Speaker 8: lungs and could not climb that many stairs. When I

1817
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:23,479
Speaker 8: turned back to our room, my legs and feet were

1818
01:19:23,520 --> 01:19:26,519
Speaker 8: really hurting, and I dropped her perfume bottle. While I

1819
01:19:26,720 --> 01:19:28,880
Speaker 8: was trying to get the bottle, I dropped her clothes

1820
01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,479
Speaker 8: on the ground. She said that how could a person

1821
01:19:31,720 --> 01:19:33,880
Speaker 8: be that bad at everything? Good for nothing?

1822
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:35,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, she's a really good person.

1823
01:19:35,520 --> 01:19:37,640
Speaker 8: This really hurt my feelings. It made me realize that

1824
01:19:37,760 --> 01:19:40,280
Speaker 8: I am always walking on my toes around her. I

1825
01:19:40,360 --> 01:19:42,880
Speaker 8: am not comfortable in anything I do with her. This

1826
01:19:43,080 --> 01:19:45,559
Speaker 8: is an awful place to be in something else. Helpened

1827
01:19:45,600 --> 01:19:47,680
Speaker 8: on that trip, but needs a little backstory. About a

1828
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:50,479
Speaker 8: week ago, we were talking about soulmates in life. I

1829
01:19:50,520 --> 01:19:52,800
Speaker 8: said that I love my fiance, but if I hadn't

1830
01:19:52,840 --> 01:19:55,120
Speaker 8: met him, there was a guy who I barely talked to,

1831
01:19:55,439 --> 01:19:57,519
Speaker 8: followed him on socials, and I think he could be

1832
01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,639
Speaker 8: my soulmate in a different scenario. It was just chit chat.

1833
01:20:00,720 --> 01:20:03,160
Speaker 8: I showed her his profile. She said I was right

1834
01:20:03,240 --> 01:20:05,640
Speaker 8: about the soulmate thing, and even said my boyfriend and

1835
01:20:05,680 --> 01:20:08,160
Speaker 8: I are not alike at all. He and this guy

1836
01:20:08,520 --> 01:20:11,080
Speaker 8: and I would be a better couple. Few days later,

1837
01:20:11,479 --> 01:20:13,800
Speaker 8: on a random evening, she said that this guy, the

1838
01:20:13,920 --> 01:20:16,840
Speaker 8: exact guy, followed her on socials, and she asked me

1839
01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:18,600
Speaker 8: if it was okay for her to accept it or not.

1840
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:20,639
Speaker 8: What can I say? I have a boyfriend, I didn't

1841
01:20:20,640 --> 01:20:22,519
Speaker 8: even meet the guy in person, and he also has

1842
01:20:22,560 --> 01:20:24,840
Speaker 8: a girlfriend. I didn't have any say in this. I said,

1843
01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:26,800
Speaker 8: do whatever you want, but it was odd for him

1844
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:29,360
Speaker 8: to send a father request to her. A few days later,

1845
01:20:29,479 --> 01:20:31,920
Speaker 8: I looked past it. During our trip to Sanerini, she

1846
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:34,320
Speaker 8: was texting all the time with someone I didn't bother

1847
01:20:34,439 --> 01:20:36,960
Speaker 8: to ask. I knew she wouldn't say it to me

1848
01:20:37,160 --> 01:20:39,960
Speaker 8: unless she wanted to. I respected her decision and waited

1849
01:20:40,000 --> 01:20:41,760
Speaker 8: for her to tell me. One evening, we were in

1850
01:20:41,800 --> 01:20:44,720
Speaker 8: a club and drinking tequila. I was shocked to my

1851
01:20:44,960 --> 01:20:47,240
Speaker 8: very core when I saw her texting him. The guy

1852
01:20:47,360 --> 01:20:50,160
Speaker 8: I showed to her said nothing but completely froze. He's

1853
01:20:50,240 --> 01:20:53,360
Speaker 8: highly against these kind of situations and always judge how

1854
01:20:53,400 --> 01:20:57,240
Speaker 8: people interact with another person's likes or boyfriends or flirts.

1855
01:20:57,360 --> 01:20:59,200
Speaker 8: I didn't know what to do. I spent the whole

1856
01:20:59,320 --> 01:21:01,320
Speaker 8: night with it in my stomach, even though he was

1857
01:21:01,360 --> 01:21:04,160
Speaker 8: a complete stranger to me. I find it so inappropriate

1858
01:21:04,200 --> 01:21:06,360
Speaker 8: because I wouldn't have done that to her or anyone.

1859
01:21:06,520 --> 01:21:08,640
Speaker 8: With pain in my feet and a heavy burden on

1860
01:21:08,680 --> 01:21:11,400
Speaker 8: my chest, I cry myself to sleep without her noticing.

1861
01:21:11,479 --> 01:21:13,280
Speaker 8: I wanted her to talk to me first. If she

1862
01:21:13,360 --> 01:21:15,840
Speaker 8: would say, oh, I like him, so sorry for making

1863
01:21:15,840 --> 01:21:18,400
Speaker 8: you feel bad in the beginning, I would respect her decision,

1864
01:21:18,479 --> 01:21:20,960
Speaker 8: because who am I to say something to this complete

1865
01:21:21,000 --> 01:21:24,080
Speaker 8: stranger who has no relationship with me whatsoever. And she

1866
01:21:24,200 --> 01:21:26,960
Speaker 8: knew I would respect it, but she wouldn't if I

1867
01:21:27,080 --> 01:21:29,400
Speaker 8: did so, I said nothing and waited for her to

1868
01:21:29,479 --> 01:21:31,840
Speaker 8: come clean. You never did to this day, she doesn't

1869
01:21:31,920 --> 01:21:34,120
Speaker 8: know that I know. The last one was when we

1870
01:21:34,240 --> 01:21:37,400
Speaker 8: were at the coffeehouse after work our trip to Santlorini.

1871
01:21:37,720 --> 01:21:40,439
Speaker 8: We had upcoming trip to Paris. Since we booked everything

1872
01:21:40,479 --> 01:21:42,320
Speaker 8: in advance, I went with her. I tried to forget

1873
01:21:42,360 --> 01:21:44,519
Speaker 8: about the guy since he was a nobody, but she

1874
01:21:44,720 --> 01:21:46,639
Speaker 8: was my best friend and I did. After we came

1875
01:21:46,680 --> 01:21:50,000
Speaker 8: back from Paris, she said, oh, now I know exactly

1876
01:21:50,320 --> 01:21:53,120
Speaker 8: what I want to pursue in life after that trip.

1877
01:21:53,320 --> 01:21:55,599
Speaker 8: I want to be a fashion designer. Hannah, get your

1878
01:21:55,640 --> 01:21:58,200
Speaker 8: own freaking life, have your own freaking thoughts.

1879
01:21:58,520 --> 01:22:01,400
Speaker 3: She's becoming one, becoming a one sentient being.

1880
01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:04,160
Speaker 8: She's trying to copycat you, and then she's probably gonna

1881
01:22:04,160 --> 01:22:04,880
Speaker 8: get rid of you, and.

1882
01:22:04,880 --> 01:22:06,360
Speaker 1: She's gonna reet me you.

1883
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,120
Speaker 8: She found the blueprints of your life and said that

1884
01:22:09,280 --> 01:22:11,080
Speaker 8: sounds so great. I'm gonna do it too.

1885
01:22:11,280 --> 01:22:11,680
Speaker 1: I like that.

1886
01:22:11,920 --> 01:22:14,120
Speaker 3: That's to be Niden, no longer you.

1887
01:22:14,560 --> 01:22:17,800
Speaker 8: I just looked at her and my jaw dropped. I

1888
01:22:17,880 --> 01:22:20,479
Speaker 8: knew she wanted to get furious because she tried to

1889
01:22:20,479 --> 01:22:23,240
Speaker 8: steal my dreams and wanted to enjoy being the right one,

1890
01:22:23,360 --> 01:22:25,960
Speaker 8: while I would be the jealous and angry one. I

1891
01:22:26,040 --> 01:22:28,360
Speaker 8: did the opposite and said, great, how do you want

1892
01:22:28,400 --> 01:22:31,040
Speaker 8: to pursue your new passion? She said new? Oh, no,

1893
01:22:31,320 --> 01:22:34,200
Speaker 8: I always wanted to become one. This was my one

1894
01:22:34,520 --> 01:22:37,320
Speaker 8: true passion in life. You know, No, I didn't, because

1895
01:22:37,360 --> 01:22:39,720
Speaker 8: she never said so. I realized that she did this

1896
01:22:39,840 --> 01:22:42,360
Speaker 8: a lot, trying to implement some new interests of hers

1897
01:22:42,479 --> 01:22:44,560
Speaker 8: as she loved it since the beginning. I try to

1898
01:22:44,600 --> 01:22:47,559
Speaker 8: stay calm because in that moment I realized she knew

1899
01:22:47,720 --> 01:22:50,599
Speaker 8: what she was doing all along. On everything she made

1900
01:22:50,640 --> 01:22:54,160
Speaker 8: me feel everywhere she said didn't knowingly. I said, you

1901
01:22:54,240 --> 01:22:57,040
Speaker 8: can take courses to improve in this field. I can

1902
01:22:57,080 --> 01:22:59,320
Speaker 8: help you with it, and she looked directly into my

1903
01:22:59,400 --> 01:23:02,680
Speaker 8: face while saying, well, I wanted to meet with professionals

1904
01:23:02,720 --> 01:23:05,680
Speaker 8: who did this professionally. Since for you, it's just like

1905
01:23:05,880 --> 01:23:09,559
Speaker 8: a hobby, I said, I try to defend my master's thesis.

1906
01:23:09,720 --> 01:23:11,880
Speaker 8: This isn't a hobby for me. You are the one

1907
01:23:12,200 --> 01:23:14,640
Speaker 8: to know it because you are the closest to me.

1908
01:23:14,840 --> 01:23:17,120
Speaker 8: I want to build my life on this. And her

1909
01:23:17,200 --> 01:23:19,920
Speaker 8: last words to me were, well, I don't think you

1910
01:23:20,080 --> 01:23:22,120
Speaker 8: do it for the right reasons, and I don't think

1911
01:23:22,200 --> 01:23:24,679
Speaker 8: you are doing it seriously. It seems like a hobby

1912
01:23:24,720 --> 01:23:27,080
Speaker 8: to meet, and she said she doesn't think I fit

1913
01:23:27,200 --> 01:23:29,439
Speaker 8: well for the fashion business and that I'm not capable

1914
01:23:29,520 --> 01:23:31,400
Speaker 8: of doing it, while people like her who are so

1915
01:23:31,560 --> 01:23:33,439
Speaker 8: interested in this going to do so much. And you

1916
01:23:33,520 --> 01:23:35,360
Speaker 8: can do as much as search us up on your

1917
01:23:35,400 --> 01:23:38,240
Speaker 8: favorite podcast platforms for stories just like this. Just look

1918
01:23:38,320 --> 01:23:40,200
Speaker 8: up Okay story time and we're there. We have so

1919
01:23:40,320 --> 01:23:42,240
Speaker 8: many stories just as crazy as this one.

1920
01:23:42,360 --> 01:23:45,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe even crazier, maybe even freaking crazier.

1921
01:23:45,560 --> 01:23:47,599
Speaker 8: I want to fine Hannah, put her in a box

1922
01:23:47,680 --> 01:23:49,479
Speaker 8: and say stay in it. That's all you can ever

1923
01:23:49,520 --> 01:23:52,280
Speaker 8: think about, staying within the box. Dang dude, that is

1924
01:23:52,400 --> 01:23:53,360
Speaker 8: such a girl.

1925
01:23:53,520 --> 01:23:55,880
Speaker 1: Opie, stop being friends with her. I can fix her.

1926
01:23:56,280 --> 01:23:59,639
Speaker 8: Lastly, this is not being honest. This is completely hurtful.

1927
01:23:59,880 --> 01:24:03,000
Speaker 8: I respectively said, I wanted to go home. The next day,

1928
01:24:03,040 --> 01:24:05,360
Speaker 8: I said to her I didn't want to be friends anymore.

1929
01:24:05,520 --> 01:24:08,080
Speaker 8: She was surprised, but she couldn't imagine that I would

1930
01:24:08,120 --> 01:24:10,599
Speaker 8: step up for myself. Since then, I have never been

1931
01:24:10,680 --> 01:24:12,880
Speaker 8: so happy in my whole life. I learned my lesson.

1932
01:24:13,080 --> 01:24:16,639
Speaker 8: Am not planning to give another chance to manipulators like her, Amma.

1933
01:24:16,680 --> 01:24:18,640
Speaker 8: They aho for not wanting to be manipulated by my

1934
01:24:18,800 --> 01:24:21,439
Speaker 8: ex best friend anymore, and we already know the answer.

1935
01:24:21,640 --> 01:24:23,479
Speaker 8: You're not the a hole duh girl.

1936
01:24:23,680 --> 01:24:26,120
Speaker 1: That was crazy the fact.

1937
01:24:25,960 --> 01:24:28,240
Speaker 3: That you called her ex best friend. Yeah, like you

1938
01:24:28,640 --> 01:24:30,879
Speaker 3: gave her that title, dude, not even deserving.

1939
01:24:31,080 --> 01:24:33,320
Speaker 8: She just like was leeching on you, leaching on your

1940
01:24:33,400 --> 01:24:34,880
Speaker 8: dreams and like I want to do that and just

1941
01:24:34,960 --> 01:24:36,760
Speaker 8: trying to break you down as a human being.

1942
01:24:36,880 --> 01:24:39,479
Speaker 1: I'm going to be you what I am you.

1943
01:24:39,880 --> 01:24:41,960
Speaker 8: That was stupid and crazy.

1944
01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:43,760
Speaker 1: I'm no longer Hannah, I'm Ugo pie.

1945
01:24:45,040 --> 01:24:45,240
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1946
01:24:45,439 --> 01:24:46,719
Speaker 8: Oh, but that's the end of that story.