1
00:00:00,320 --> 00:00:03,040
Speaker 1: All right, let's buckle up, let's hold on tight. We

2
00:00:03,080 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 1: gotta fell you Strawberry Letta, thank you, Tommy subject, childless, manless,

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,680
Speaker 1: clueless and hungover at forty, Dear Steve, Harvey and Shirley. Currently,

4
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:17,400
Speaker 1: I am separated and over forty. Can't have any children

5
00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:22,439
Speaker 1: main reason for my divorce. Anyway, I met a man, Mr. Man,

6
00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:26,680
Speaker 1: who was also separated, and we became very close. It

7
00:00:26,840 --> 00:00:30,640
Speaker 1: was great. After a year, Mr Man has his divorce.

8
00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,880
Speaker 1: Once my divorce was final, this summer, I thought Mr

9
00:00:33,920 --> 00:00:36,680
Speaker 1: Man and I would be together. Well, Mr Mann told

10
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,520
Speaker 1: me that he was going to New Jersey to get

11
00:00:38,520 --> 00:00:41,519
Speaker 1: his ex girlfriend, the woman he should have married instead

12
00:00:41,520 --> 00:00:44,000
Speaker 1: of his wife. I had to ask, what about me?

13
00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:46,920
Speaker 1: He said, I am a beautiful woman, but I had

14
00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,760
Speaker 1: three problems. Number One, I am too emotional. I cry

15
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,400
Speaker 1: at the drop of a dime. Number two, real women

16
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:56,319
Speaker 1: are a mystery. Once that's gone, nothing is left. I'm

17
00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,000
Speaker 1: an open book. Number three the big one I should

18
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,240
Speaker 1: not have I should not have fallen in love with

19
00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:06,560
Speaker 1: a married man him. I missed all the signs of

20
00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:09,600
Speaker 1: this rejection. I tried to be open and honest with

21
00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,280
Speaker 1: this man. Of course, the sex was good. But I

22
00:01:12,319 --> 00:01:15,399
Speaker 1: am truly hurt so as I watch him take his

23
00:01:15,480 --> 00:01:19,080
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend on a romantic weekend to the Poconos Mountains

24
00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:23,000
Speaker 1: this weekend. Last night, I had my brown liquor, my

25
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: brown Liquor song Anita Baker no more tears, and cried

26
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,200
Speaker 1: myself to sleep. I should have known better and controlled

27
00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:33,440
Speaker 1: my feelings at forty. So I'll say it's my fault.

28
00:01:33,600 --> 00:01:36,240
Speaker 1: I am not perfect. Now. I am out of two

29
00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 1: men in one year at forty. I pray that God

30
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:44,400
Speaker 1: heals my heart and my mind. Childless manless, clueless and

31
00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:51,280
Speaker 1: hungover at forty. Wow, dear dear childless manless, clueless and

32
00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,800
Speaker 1: hungover at forty, I mean, yeah, you know, Uh, God,

33
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:58,040
Speaker 1: will you know, protect you and heal you and all that.

34
00:01:58,360 --> 00:02:00,680
Speaker 1: But you have to do your part. You know, you've

35
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:04,880
Speaker 1: got to do your part um and that is not

36
00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:08,840
Speaker 1: jumping into something when number one you're still married to

37
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:12,840
Speaker 1: this uh, to your husband. Uh and uh number two,

38
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:15,919
Speaker 1: you know, just jumping in not getting to know this man,

39
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:19,720
Speaker 1: you know, sleeping with him right away. That's exactly what happened.

40
00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,400
Speaker 1: That's what he means by the mystery. You know, once

41
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,079
Speaker 1: the mystery has gone, then it's over. I mean telling

42
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,639
Speaker 1: him everything you said. You're an open book. You don't

43
00:02:27,680 --> 00:02:31,920
Speaker 1: have to tell this man everything. He's not even your husband, um,

44
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,800
Speaker 1: you know, and then being so emotional and needy. You know,

45
00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:39,360
Speaker 1: you gotta learn from um from your relationship so this

46
00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:42,119
Speaker 1: won't happen again. And as far as not being able

47
00:02:42,160 --> 00:02:44,400
Speaker 1: to have children, um, you know, if you want to

48
00:02:44,440 --> 00:02:47,919
Speaker 1: go this route, adoption is always an option. It definitely

49
00:02:47,960 --> 00:02:50,720
Speaker 1: is always an option. You know, think about that in

50
00:02:50,760 --> 00:02:53,120
Speaker 1: your next relationship. But I don't advise you to even

51
00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,840
Speaker 1: get in a next relationship, a new relationship until you

52
00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:59,720
Speaker 1: know you learn from this particular one so you won't

53
00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:03,640
Speaker 1: keep making these same mistakes over and over and over again.

54
00:03:03,680 --> 00:03:06,359
Speaker 1: So take your time, know what you want, and don't

55
00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:10,560
Speaker 1: settle uh anymore? Okay, and make these men accountable, you know,

56
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,799
Speaker 1: talk about their plans, find out what he wants to do.

57
00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:16,040
Speaker 1: You know, why should that have even been a surprise

58
00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:18,239
Speaker 1: to you that he wanted to go back and marry

59
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:29,400
Speaker 1: someone else, Steve, This letter is classics, classic, classic example

60
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:36,280
Speaker 1: of how women get involved and not know upfront her

61
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 1: whole life is that way. First of all, she's separated

62
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:44,520
Speaker 1: right now, can't have any children. Main reason for my divorce.

63
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:50,880
Speaker 1: You're getting a divorce because you can't have children. Who

64
00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:55,120
Speaker 1: didn't notice in the beginning? How was this not talked

65
00:03:55,160 --> 00:04:00,240
Speaker 1: out thoroughly in the beginning. So you get to this

66
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 1: point with your husband and he finds out you can't

67
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:06,760
Speaker 1: have children, or he just his sizes he won't children,

68
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,760
Speaker 1: or this is the reason he's telling you that he

69
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:13,840
Speaker 1: got to leave. All it is, all it is, All

70
00:04:13,880 --> 00:04:17,320
Speaker 1: of this could have been handled up front. You were

71
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:21,279
Speaker 1: surprised that your marriage is over because of the fact

72
00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:25,320
Speaker 1: that you can't have children. You've been knowing this a

73
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 1: greater part of your forty years, especially in your adult

74
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:36,159
Speaker 1: life where it really counts. Okay. Secondly, um, you met

75
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:40,960
Speaker 1: a man, Mr. Man, who was separated, which means he

76
00:04:41,080 --> 00:04:46,000
Speaker 1: was still married to Mr Man gets his divorce and

77
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:51,120
Speaker 1: once your divorce was final this summer, I thought Mr

78
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,800
Speaker 1: Man and I would be together keyword, I thought you

79
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,760
Speaker 1: once again, ma'am. And I'm just not trying not to

80
00:04:57,800 --> 00:04:59,479
Speaker 1: be too hard on you, because you know you made

81
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,520
Speaker 1: a mistake. But you said I thought Mr Man and

82
00:05:02,520 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 1: I would be together once again. Classic classic not knowing

83
00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:11,479
Speaker 1: up front. You could have found out if you and

84
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,920
Speaker 1: Mr Man was gonna be together before you broke off

85
00:05:14,920 --> 00:05:18,159
Speaker 1: the cookie with this man. But now you're passing now

86
00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:22,000
Speaker 1: cookie like it's like like it's a business card. Now

87
00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:24,080
Speaker 1: you're sitting up in here and found out that Mr

88
00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,800
Speaker 1: Man after his divorce is gonna go back to Jersey

89
00:05:26,839 --> 00:05:29,279
Speaker 1: and get his ex girlfriend. He could have told you

90
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:33,960
Speaker 1: that in the begin it had you inquired. Ladies, you

91
00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,360
Speaker 1: have the right to inquire. It's not being nos it

92
00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,680
Speaker 1: ain't being pushy. You ain't gonna run no man off.

93
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,480
Speaker 1: If a man really want you, you can't run him off.

94
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:49,719
Speaker 1: You can't run us off. Were scary, We won't you,

95
00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,839
Speaker 1: We want you. We are not scary people me and

96
00:05:52,880 --> 00:05:55,440
Speaker 1: are not scary. You don't run us off, and we

97
00:05:55,520 --> 00:06:00,760
Speaker 1: won't you. Come on, come on, Pimpson. Players, didn't put

98
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,440
Speaker 1: it in your head that you will run us off.

99
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,520
Speaker 1: Men can't be run off. So here you go. He

100
00:06:05,600 --> 00:06:09,520
Speaker 1: goes to the ex girlfriend, the woman that he should

101
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,160
Speaker 1: have married instead of his wife. Oh, this is conversation

102
00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:16,120
Speaker 1: you could have add why are you getting to matter?

103
00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:18,200
Speaker 1: Who would you have married if you didn't marry your wife?

104
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:20,400
Speaker 1: I would have married this girl in New Jersey. Matter

105
00:06:20,400 --> 00:06:22,480
Speaker 1: of fact, if I ever get out of this. I'm

106
00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:24,719
Speaker 1: going back and get hard. You could have found this

107
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:27,719
Speaker 1: out and saved yourself to that, so you had what

108
00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,480
Speaker 1: about me? What about you? Was too late? He going

109
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:33,360
Speaker 1: to get the girl in Jersey. Ladies, you have every

110
00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:37,200
Speaker 1: right to ask up front, see what about you is first?

111
00:06:38,160 --> 00:06:41,040
Speaker 1: You gotta get to what about you out first, or

112
00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:43,160
Speaker 1: when you get to the point where you gotta ask

113
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,719
Speaker 1: what about you? This ain't about you no more. This

114
00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,480
Speaker 1: about him and the woman in New Jersey. Now he

115
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:51,800
Speaker 1: got his divorce, he gone, He going back to who

116
00:06:51,839 --> 00:06:54,920
Speaker 1: we should have married in the first place. You ain't

117
00:06:54,960 --> 00:06:57,919
Speaker 1: asked none of these questions cause you was swat having

118
00:06:57,920 --> 00:07:01,719
Speaker 1: a good time, feeling good, always pleasurable. You all had

119
00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,599
Speaker 1: so much in common. The only thing y'all had in

120
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:08,400
Speaker 1: commons both y'all were separated. His plans was not your plans.

121
00:07:08,760 --> 00:07:11,760
Speaker 1: You have every right to know of a man's plans.

122
00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,560
Speaker 1: You especially have the right to know, ladies, if you

123
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,280
Speaker 1: are not in his plans. There are ways to go

124
00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:24,240
Speaker 1: about finding this out. We come back. I'm gonna open

125
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,520
Speaker 1: up a few more cans in the uh in this letter.

126
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,680
Speaker 1: Few more items in this letter share with you, especially

127
00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:34,440
Speaker 1: the three problems she has I'm too emotional, he says,

128
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:37,360
Speaker 1: he's too emotionally cried to drop down. Real women are

129
00:07:37,480 --> 00:07:40,040
Speaker 1: mystery wants. That is gone, nothing's left. I tell you

130
00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,640
Speaker 1: what me and mean by that, and I'm an open book.

131
00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:44,720
Speaker 1: And the third big one I should have should not

132
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,800
Speaker 1: have fallen in love with a married man. I'll tell

133
00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:51,400
Speaker 1: you what that means to when we come back. Okay,

134
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,760
Speaker 1: the man told me that he was going to New

135
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,280
Speaker 1: Jersey to get his ex girlfriend, the woman he should

136
00:07:57,280 --> 00:07:59,440
Speaker 1: have married instead of his wife. I had to ask,

137
00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:02,440
Speaker 1: what about me? He said, I'm a beautiful woman, but

138
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:06,480
Speaker 1: I had three problems. Let's go over these problems, ladies.

139
00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:10,560
Speaker 1: Number one, I am too emotional. I cry at the

140
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:15,920
Speaker 1: drop of a dime. Well, here's the deal. If a

141
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,080
Speaker 1: man don't love you and don't have emotional ties to

142
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:23,440
Speaker 1: you of any kind, which is obviously this man don't,

143
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:28,680
Speaker 1: he's not buying into drama. Tears to a man is

144
00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:32,560
Speaker 1: drama because guess what if your man loves you and

145
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,640
Speaker 1: he sees you crying, he has to fix something. We

146
00:08:35,760 --> 00:08:39,040
Speaker 1: got to spring into action and do something. Since it's

147
00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:41,199
Speaker 1: it's it's the only reason we like to talk to you.

148
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:43,760
Speaker 1: We don't want to talk to you if if we

149
00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,079
Speaker 1: can't fix it, So now you're just crying at the

150
00:08:47,160 --> 00:08:48,839
Speaker 1: drop of a dime. He don't know what the hell

151
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:52,480
Speaker 1: going on. He can't fix it. That's drama. I'm not

152
00:08:52,600 --> 00:08:54,800
Speaker 1: in love with you, and I ain't really feeling you

153
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:58,600
Speaker 1: like that. So guess what I ain't buying into this

154
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:03,120
Speaker 1: drama over no cookie, which is all you are is

155
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:09,000
Speaker 1: some cookie. Secondly, real women are mystery. Once that is gone,

156
00:09:09,320 --> 00:09:12,800
Speaker 1: nothing is left. He told you that, Okay, you know

157
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,200
Speaker 1: what that means. That means you told everything. See, y'all

158
00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:18,320
Speaker 1: go about this the wrong way. Y'all. Y'all think it's

159
00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:22,080
Speaker 1: being honest and open. Hey, hey, y'all better understand what

160
00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,800
Speaker 1: this really is now when you're talking to us what

161
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:28,040
Speaker 1: to tell a man and what not to tell a man.

162
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:32,120
Speaker 1: When you give us information, we're taking this information to

163
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:36,560
Speaker 1: use it a certain way. That's what we're doing. We're

164
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:40,160
Speaker 1: not gathering information because we care for you. We gather

165
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:45,240
Speaker 1: information because we can use it in our quest. Third,

166
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,439
Speaker 1: the big one, I should have not she said, I

167
00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,720
Speaker 1: should have not fell in love. That's what she said

168
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:56,320
Speaker 1: with the married man. I miss all this, all the

169
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,120
Speaker 1: signs of this rejection. No no, no, no, no. You

170
00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:01,840
Speaker 1: didn't miss any of the signs of rejection. You didn't

171
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:05,760
Speaker 1: ask for the signs, You didn't ask any questions. What

172
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,760
Speaker 1: was his intentions after his divorce was over, whether you

173
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:11,880
Speaker 1: fit into the plans? How does he see you? What

174
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:14,120
Speaker 1: the big one is I'm gonna give you is that

175
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,000
Speaker 1: you fell in love with a married man. You know

176
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,600
Speaker 1: what he says to him, You had no standards. That's

177
00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:24,480
Speaker 1: all that says to a man. You had no standards.

178
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,720
Speaker 1: Now you won't do what Now you want to start

179
00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:30,680
Speaker 1: practicing standards with me? I'm not really sure if you

180
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:33,080
Speaker 1: have any, because what you ain't gonna do is start

181
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:36,880
Speaker 1: practicing new standards with me and my feelings. I'm going

182
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,280
Speaker 1: up to Jersey and get my old girl back. Man,

183
00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 1: ill at you. We gotta go email or Instagram. That's

184
00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:47,920
Speaker 1: your thoughts on today's Strawberry letter. At my girl, Shirley,

185
00:10:48,200 --> 00:10:50,880
Speaker 1: you're listening to the String Show.