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Speaker 1: Well, I invited you here, thought I made myself perfectly clear,

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Speaker 1: but you're a guess to my home. You gotta come

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Speaker 1: to be empty, And I said, no, guest, your presences

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Speaker 1: presents and.

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Speaker 2: I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare.

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Speaker 1: To surbey me?

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Speaker 3: Oh, welcome to? I said, no gifts. I'm Brigard Wineker,

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Speaker 3: and I hope you're doing well. I uh, you know,

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Speaker 3: do yourself a favorite some I've been thinking about maybe

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Speaker 3: change the filter on your water pitcher today. I you

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Speaker 3: know it's time. I know you need to do it.

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Speaker 3: You know you need to do it. It's probably been

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Speaker 3: for or five months since the little red light came on.

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Speaker 3: Give yourself that little treat of switching out the filter.

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Speaker 3: I don't know if it's going to make any difference,

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Speaker 3: but it'll feel like you accomplished something today. And then

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Speaker 3: keep listening to this podcast, because right now I'm so thrilled,

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Speaker 3: just excited, and my heart is pounding because we've got

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Speaker 3: a terrific guest, none other than Chris Fairbanks. Chris, welcome to.

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Speaker 4: I said, no gifts, Hello, Bridge, thank you for having me.

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Speaker 4: Can you hear me? Okay?

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Speaker 3: I can hear you perfectly. We're living in a technological

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Speaker 3: period that is absolutely insane, and you had a little

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Speaker 3: technological bump getting into the podcast.

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Speaker 4: Let's be yes, it is a personal issue with me.

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Speaker 4: I am now involving all three of my devices because

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Speaker 4: when when left to my devices, I will use them.

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Speaker 3: You essentially have a like a three camera set up

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Speaker 3: here to be on zoom.

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Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I have the I am looking at my phone,

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Speaker 4: but I am recording to my left recording on the

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Speaker 4: on the computer, but I'm using the actual recording as

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Speaker 4: the device in front of me.

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Speaker 3: I perfect setup. Yes, yes, it's really actually a late

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Speaker 3: night talk show at this point. But you also, I

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Speaker 3: have to say, the last time I saw you, your

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Speaker 3: hair was significantly shorter. Your hair looks incredible. It's this

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Speaker 3: is obviously an effect of quarantine and you know, not

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Speaker 3: being able to go to the barber or whatever. But

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Speaker 3: is this the first time your hair has been this length?

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Speaker 4: I walked by my barber the other day and he

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Speaker 4: almost insisted I come in immediately there down at the

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Speaker 4: bottom of the street, but I said, no, I'm going

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Speaker 4: to see how this affects my life. To look like

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Speaker 4: a roaming, traveling murderer. But some people like the hair.

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Speaker 4: They're like, oh, you're curls. Other people do a double

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Speaker 4: take and I look like someone scary to them. So

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Speaker 4: it's been a fun experiment.

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Speaker 3: I think it's a really truly. This isn't just saying

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Speaker 3: it just because everyone says your hair looks good when

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Speaker 3: it changes. No, I think that this is a good

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Speaker 3: look for you. I think thank you. Long term, this

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Speaker 3: quarantine is going to have enough. I think this may

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Speaker 3: be the return of a lot of male ponytails. I

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Speaker 3: think a year from now of the male population is

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Speaker 3: going to have a glimmering ponytail.

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Speaker 4: Oh thank god, they have been missed. The favorite part

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Speaker 4: of a ponytail is a man's neck hair. When they don't,

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Speaker 4: there's the shorter hairs that didn't quite make the cut

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Speaker 4: when it came to ponytail service, so they'll just have

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Speaker 4: these kind of little curly baby hair on their neck. Oh,

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Speaker 4: I always want to shave you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: It looks I've never noticed this, but it's a kind

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Speaker 3: of like a disgusting, downy baby hair.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you're in a weird position because if you shave them,

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Speaker 4: that's a level of grooming that everyone's gonna notice and

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Speaker 4: look weird. But if you don't shave them, it looks

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Speaker 4: like someone emptied a vacuum on your neck. So just

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Speaker 4: a bunch of garbage. I've always been self conscious about

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Speaker 4: neck hair.

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Speaker 3: Oh, of course, of course. I mean, I guess the

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Speaker 3: hope there is that your ponytail is just so gorgeous

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Speaker 3: that nobody notices what's going on beneath it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you hope for that. And then you also hope

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Speaker 4: that if you see this neck hair that it stops

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Speaker 4: at the back, which I've always been lucky there, just

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Speaker 4: between you and me, I have no back hair.

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Speaker 3: Now with the back see neck hair for me? Who

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Speaker 3: are you able to shave it yourself? I am?

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Speaker 4: I am. I'm pretty good at I've given myself haircuts.

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Speaker 4: It's hard when you involve a mirror because then you're

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Speaker 4: the opposite. You try to do the right and you

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Speaker 4: go you end up cutting off your ear instead.

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Speaker 3: But so how are you doing it?

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Speaker 4: I just on blind faith and the and the ability

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Speaker 4: to know my surroundings. I close my eyes, I put

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Speaker 4: on a clipper attachment. That part's very important. Oh, when

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Speaker 4: I just kind of feel it out, you know, like

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Speaker 4: I imagine Ray Charles to play piano.

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Speaker 3: That's a high risk activity. I've attempted it before that

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Speaker 3: I just immediately give up, give up. I don't have

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Speaker 3: the coordination. I don't trust either of my hands or

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Speaker 3: my brain to be working behind the scenes.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, and then when you're done, you really don't

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Speaker 4: know how it looks. One time I cut my hair

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Speaker 4: or just cleaned it up like with with clippers.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 4: I went attachment one through attachment four and use the

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Speaker 4: two in between. But I at one point the attachment

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Speaker 4: fell off when I was blindly doing my neck line,

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Speaker 4: if you will, and there was a lawnmower just swipe

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Speaker 4: in the back of my head that I didn't know existed.

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Speaker 4: And then I went to a show downtown and someone

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Speaker 4: took a picture of the back of my head and

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Speaker 4: it was hilarious. I will send that to you if I.

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Speaker 3: Would love to see this. Yes, it is a real move.

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Speaker 3: Now with your current hair, like, truly, what length does

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Speaker 3: it need to get to before you feel like this

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Speaker 3: is enough? I feel like you could get to a

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Speaker 3: length that is almost Sigourney like Sigourney Weaver level.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, just where it's yeah, where I'm just running on

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Speaker 4: a on a gridiron spaceship wearing some tidy whities holding

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Speaker 4: a machine gun.

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Speaker 3: That would be a great look for you.

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Speaker 4: That's what I'll let. That's when I'll finally cut my hair,

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Speaker 4: when I'm Sigourney on a ship. You know, I'm waiting

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Speaker 4: for gravity to take over because I've always had like,

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Speaker 4: look at it just goes up.

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Speaker 3: It's amazing to me.

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Speaker 4: And I've never had it lay down. I've never grown

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Speaker 4: it to wear. Sure, wet, it'll lay down, but when

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Speaker 4: it dries, I just want to grow it till gravity

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Speaker 4: takes hold.

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Speaker 3: Right with the weight, it can no longer be supported

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Speaker 3: by the hair, and it's just kind of flowing down

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Speaker 3: the sides of your head. Yeah, that will require because

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Speaker 3: right now it's long and it's still going for it.

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Speaker 4: I've thought about it, and there's been a lot of

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Speaker 4: requests online. You can really it's a it really splits

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Speaker 4: the room, kind of like politics. A lot of people

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Speaker 4: want me to straighten it straight.

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Speaker 3: Oh good grief. That would be kind of like a

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Speaker 3: two thousand and nine emo band look. I think, yeah, crimper.

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Speaker 4: Whenever my sister would crimp her hair and it had

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Speaker 4: those triangular waves, I was like, oh, man, I wish

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Speaker 4: I had straight hair, or whenever i'd see that Nelson

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Speaker 4: after the rain video. You know, there's so many things

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Speaker 4: that have made me want to have straight hair.

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Speaker 3: I assume when it's wet, you get an idea of

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Speaker 3: what it would look like straight, right.

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Speaker 4: If I if I've put in conditioner and I've left

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Speaker 4: it in and I comb my hair without drying it,

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Speaker 4: it kind of then I have bangs, if you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, Like if.

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Speaker 3: You're like emerging from a waterfall, or.

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Speaker 4: Yes, if we capture that moment during a waterfall shoot,

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Speaker 4: which I haven't done since my last fireman calendar. I

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Speaker 4: was just a guest. I'm not a fireman, but they

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Speaker 4: my brother in law did he's in one of those

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Speaker 4: firemen calendar kidding by the way, Yeah, what it's really

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Speaker 4: funny because him and his friends were funny about it.

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Speaker 3: What but he is a fireman?

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Speaker 4: Yeah yeah, yeah, Oh my god.

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Speaker 3: And was it like a charity calendar or what's the

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Speaker 3: deal there?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's just they just without hurting anyone's feelings, I hope,

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Speaker 4: picked all the handsome firemen and it was like a Spokane,

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Speaker 4: Washington fireman calendar. Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you never think about because there certainly are the

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Speaker 3: firemen at the station that don't make the cut for

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Speaker 3: these calendars. It's got to be heartbreaking. Are there tryouts

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Speaker 3: or how is that even decided? They?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know, they just reinforce the fact that they're

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Speaker 4: hard workers and they're good firemen, but they're agoes. So

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Speaker 4: step aside the camera's coming out, climb up that pole

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Speaker 4: to where the attractive firemen are going to wait till

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Speaker 4: the shoot's over. I feel really bad for them now.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I will say, as far as emergency services go,

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Speaker 3: firemen have a pretty good hit rate for being good looking.

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Speaker 3: I feel like, I don't I don't know if it's

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Speaker 3: these calendars that are the recruiting tool for good looking

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Speaker 3: men who also want to and women who want to

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Speaker 3: get into the saving people's lives business, or if it's

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Speaker 3: just a natural thing. You're good looking and you're you

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Speaker 3: like to climb ladders, so you're naturally fit and right.

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Speaker 4: And I think, to me, the first responder thing, they

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Speaker 4: are first on the scene, and you know who shows

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Speaker 4: up early to things, it's handsome people.

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Speaker 3: Handsome people are always the first people there.

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Speaker 4: I think that they go they yeah, yeah, they just

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Speaker 4: don't sleep in there, Tony on the spot.

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Speaker 3: I feel like at a party, you know, the good

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Speaker 3: looking looking people are always about two hours late.

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Speaker 4: Right, what's Yeah, leisure's different. Leisure is a little different,

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Speaker 4: a little little switch through when it comes to leisure.

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Speaker 4: But the work ethic of these good looking people, it's

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Speaker 4: just it's early all the time.

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Speaker 3: No is there? Has there ever been like an EMT calendar? Right?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a good question, like.

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Speaker 3: That, there's a market there that we could exploit. I'm

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Speaker 3: willing to get a camera and uh, you know, be

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Speaker 3: behind the ambulance, ready to ask people to take their

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Speaker 3: shirt off.

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Speaker 4: Yeah. Where is the mistique in general, the hero thing

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Speaker 4: that we apply to firement? Why isn't it tea guys?

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Speaker 4: Why don't little kids grow up saying I want to

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Speaker 4: be an EMT when I grow up to be in

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Speaker 4: a shiny, shiny ambulance?

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Speaker 3: Right? You know I wonder is that there's uh sitting

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Speaker 3: in the back of an ambulance is just a little

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Speaker 3: too dark. There's a Yeah, there's a you know, you're

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Speaker 3: driving around to night and if you're end up behind

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Speaker 3: an ambulance and it's brightly lit it up inside, that's

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Speaker 3: not a that's never a happy thing to look into,

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Speaker 3: right sex there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, the little kids don't think that's too sexy. But

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Speaker 4: maybe they should have painted them red. These ambulances and

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Speaker 4: then you know, a dress. I don't know how we

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Speaker 4: address the fact there's bodies in the back that kids

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Speaker 4: don't like that. Kids hate dead or sick people.

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Speaker 3: We've got to turn the children's opinion around about looking

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Speaker 3: at sick people total people, who are you know, actively bleeding?

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Speaker 3: That could be fun, that could be exciting.

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Speaker 4: You know. I think these new kids they what they

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Speaker 4: with what they see online. They're getting used to sickness

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Speaker 4: and death right, so.

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Speaker 3: Why can't are going to want to be empts? You

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Speaker 3: never know, You truly never know. Now, what are you

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Speaker 3: doing with your time, Chris? What's going on?

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Speaker 4: I I mean, other than the last twenty four hours

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Speaker 4: desperately searching for the right gift for you, I've been

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Speaker 4: I've been watching, honestly, the last couple of day weeks,

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Speaker 4: I've been just watching a lot of television.

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Speaker 2: I was.

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Speaker 4: I was really good at first with like just listening

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Speaker 4: to music and drawing and painting, and then I got

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Speaker 4: into miniature like dollhouse building, Oh beautiful and I wanted

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Speaker 4: to learn to animate, so that's part of it. I

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Speaker 4: want to put a little clay guy in my bookstore

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Speaker 4: and stop motion animate like.

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Speaker 3: And then two are kind of like a Wallas and

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Speaker 3: gramut Stone exactly what is it called stop motion?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, And I've been everyone's like when you say you're

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Speaker 4: into dollhouse is, people immediately think I'm into dolls. And

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Speaker 4: I was always I mean, I'm not opposed to dolls

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Speaker 4: or doll play, but I've always been interested since as

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Speaker 4: a kid in miniature worlds. And I think it does

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Speaker 4: go to Wallace and Grammat because when you would see

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Speaker 4: the way they shot that, and then and then like

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Speaker 4: Paranormal Norman is like the newest is that what it's.

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Speaker 3: Called where you can I think it's called ParaNorman ParaNorman

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Speaker 3: not paranormal paranormal Norman, the paranormal man.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that's a guy getting kicked out of a pitch

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Speaker 4: meeting there. Yeah, you can see thumb prints, you know. Oh,

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Speaker 4: I love it like you used to see on on Gumby,

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Speaker 4: Like you can see where a physical human has been

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Speaker 4: has been manipulating for each shot, and and ParaNorman had that.

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Speaker 3: Right, Walls and Grammat Curse of the were Rabbit, which

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Speaker 3: I'm you know, streaming services, I'm reaching out to you

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Speaker 3: put that on your thing. I want to watch it.

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Speaker 3: I want to watch that Halloween one.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, that one about the trousers.

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Speaker 3: Right, I love the trousers. And there's the cheese. They

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Speaker 3: go to the moon that's made of cheese and.

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Speaker 4: Crackers, pessed with cheese. They are obsessed with cheese.

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Speaker 3: Relatable, it's extremely we all enjoy a little cheese on

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Speaker 3: a cracker. And then there's the penguin with the gun.

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Speaker 3: I mean, I could go on and on about there's

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Speaker 3: Now maybe I'm just making this up, but I'm pretty

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Speaker 3: sure there's a Wallas and Gramat where a penguin wields

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Speaker 3: an actual pistol.

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Speaker 4: Are you thinking of Danny DeVito in the Batman movie?

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Speaker 3: That's very true. I also remember this penguin biting Wallace's

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Speaker 3: nose and it immediately just gushing bloods.

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Speaker 4: Okay, we're definitely talking about de Vito here. You gotta

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Speaker 4: wires crossed.

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Speaker 3: God bless that role. That movie deserve to spin off.

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Speaker 3: We need a full Danny in the penguin costume, just

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Speaker 3: you know, going through the sewers and doing what he

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Speaker 3: was doing. That's what I want to watch.

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Speaker 4: It's worth a revisit just to see Divito's where because

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Speaker 4: the penguin, he's horrifying. There is like so scarrish slime

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Speaker 4: constantly coming out of his mouth. It's horrifying.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like they may have gone one step

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Speaker 3: too far with how disgusting that creature.

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Speaker 4: Really like it was the gold I actually frightened children. Yeah,

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Speaker 4: I mean, the only thing scarier than the penguin is

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Speaker 4: a dead body in the back of an ambulance. I'm

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Speaker 4: a big on callback.

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Speaker 3: Sorry to look into the back of an ambulance and

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Speaker 3: see Danny DeVito is the penguin kind of doing CPR.

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Speaker 3: That would be the situation.

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Speaker 4: And I have been dreaming lately. I'll add that to

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Speaker 4: the list. I think because I'm not going out and

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Speaker 4: I'm not drinking like I would I have. I get

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Speaker 4: nervous before stand up, and I'm not blaming it on

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Speaker 4: that or my family history, but I do drink before

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Speaker 4: I do stand up, right. It's either that or take

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Speaker 4: pills or something. I don't know. So I haven't been performing,

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Speaker 4: So I'm drinking last and I'm not going out, and

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Speaker 4: I dream every night. I've told people since my mid

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Speaker 4: twenties that I don't dream. It turns out I was

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Speaker 4: just an alcoholic and so now I'm just going to

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Speaker 4: think about Danny DeVito in an ambulance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I mean I read an article that people are dreaming

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Speaker 3: a lot more and their dreams are becoming more surreal

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Speaker 3: because they're not forming new as many new memories right now,

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Speaker 3: And so you're really I think our brains are just

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Speaker 3: like going through the files, like, oh, we can think

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Speaker 3: about this thing now, and we can combine it with

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Speaker 3: this thing, and wow, my dreams have been absolutely insane.

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Speaker 3: Last night too, my boyfriend woke me up sleep talking

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Speaker 3: and said to me, I can't get us into the

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Speaker 3: car in this video game we're playing online. And I

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Speaker 3: was like, what are you talking about?

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Speaker 4: Has he done he was talking or you were talking?

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Speaker 3: He was talking? And it was absolute nonsense. He does

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Speaker 3: talk in a sleep occasionally, sure, Sure, the things he's

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Speaker 3: saying are now just bananas.

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Speaker 4: Wow. So I guess I had a girlfriend that used

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Speaker 4: to wake up in the middle of the night and

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Speaker 4: be like, we don't have enough light in here. We

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Speaker 4: have to set up a tripod. Where's my grips? Like

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Speaker 4: she would wake up winking we were shooting something, and

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Speaker 4: it happened over and over.

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Speaker 3: She produced four films in her sleep.

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Speaker 4: Oh yeah, she's very successful producer director. Now, so follow

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Speaker 4: your dreams, it's what I'm saying. Yeah, but I really

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Speaker 4: don't dream. And I thought there is something wrong with me.

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Speaker 4: But I'll go ahead and admit that I have been

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Speaker 4: also drinking. So I guess it is this memory thing

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Speaker 4: that you mentioned.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, the memory. So I got the truth out of you,

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Speaker 3: and now I brought science into the picture, and immediately

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Speaker 3: you fell apart.

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Speaker 4: Well, when I started this point, when I started it,

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Speaker 4: it was me, you guys. When this started, I was

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Speaker 4: I was working out, I got these resistant bands. I

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Speaker 4: was started running, even though it's not good for my

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Speaker 4: artificial hip, and I was like getting in good shape.

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Speaker 4: I started cooking healthy. Lately I've been Oh, in the beginning,

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Speaker 4: I was, I was doing a really good job, and

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Speaker 4: now I am. I have resorted to watching like old

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Speaker 4: I'm watching Double Jeopardy right now. It's the middle of

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Speaker 4: the day and I've already had a white claws, so

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Speaker 4: I've kind.

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Speaker 3: Of that's great. Yeah, that's you know, you need to

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Speaker 3: take these little breaks and just enjoy yourself. Why not? Yeah,

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Speaker 3: you have endless time. So what are you gonna do?

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Speaker 3: Are you gonna always be right on top of everything?

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Speaker 3: I don't think so, right.

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Speaker 4: I'm just going through a phase right now where I'm

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Speaker 4: an irresponsible teenager. But I'll get back to my dollhouse

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Speaker 4: is another grown up stuff.

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Speaker 3: The only thing that really changes in my days is

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Speaker 3: how long it takes me to get ready in the morning.

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Speaker 3: It's just otherwise, they're all exactly the same. One day,

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Speaker 3: I might take a shower at nine am, one day

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Speaker 3: at maybe one pm. But you know, that's the variety,

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Speaker 3: is the spice of life, and that's the only variety

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Speaker 3: I can get right now. So but all that aside. Chris,

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Speaker 3: you know you came on this podcast. I said no gifts,

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Speaker 3: and you know you and I have known each other

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Speaker 3: for a little while now, and we've been communicating about

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Speaker 3: this podcast over the last week or so. The podcast

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Speaker 3: has a very clear directive right there in the title.

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Speaker 3: I said no gifts. And so earlier today I get

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Speaker 3: a text from you. You say I'm outside, Like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I Chris, outside my apartment. I threw on some shoes,

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Speaker 3: ran down. You're standing there. You're holding a a wrapped object,

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Speaker 3: which I assume is a gift, and you drove all

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Speaker 3: the way over to my apartment, so I have to

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Speaker 3: assume is this Did you bring this gift for me?

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Speaker 4: I know you look disappointed when I arrived, and I

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Speaker 4: knew that you said no gifts, but I can't help myself.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it's a control issue.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it is about me. I was always domineering during Christmas.

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Speaker 4: I take over at all birthday parties. I even blow

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Speaker 4: out other people's candles. I have a problem.

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Speaker 3: Have you ever blown out someone's candles?

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Speaker 4: I think as a kid, you know that I had

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Speaker 4: some friends with weak lungs, and no one has the

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Speaker 4: patience for that shit. We all want to slice come

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Speaker 4: on bird lungs and then I'll blow I'll call them

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Speaker 4: bird lungs and this is like eight or nine years old,

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Speaker 4: and then I blow out there their candles.

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Speaker 3: For them to do that as an adult would be

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Speaker 3: a real move. It's now a goal of mine.

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Speaker 5: Got kill a party immediately and then leave, just a

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Speaker 5: quick blow them out and then just an exit immediately.

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Speaker 3: Never speak to anyone there again. They all have to

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Speaker 3: sit in silence or eating their cake. This is I

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Speaker 3: love it.

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Speaker 4: That's actually I would love to see that in a

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Speaker 4: movie even you.

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Speaker 3: Know, that's a great idea. You're okay. So we did

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Speaker 3: talk a little bit. I mean, I think you've got

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Speaker 3: a decent amount of things floating around in the realm

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Speaker 3: of gift giving and gift receiving. Is that correct?

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Speaker 4: Like yeah, like throwing out like hang ups and emotions

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Speaker 4: and things like that.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, where's all this coming from. Tell me about

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Speaker 3: getting a gift as a kid. What was that situation, right?

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Speaker 4: I mainly Christmas? H Uh. It was a stressful time.

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Speaker 4: We would go to my mom's parents, my grandparents, and

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Speaker 4: and they were didn't have a lot of money. Uh,

399
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:15,800
Speaker 4: so they would buy the Let's be honest, I regifted

400
00:22:15,840 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 4: you something and and to me, that's normal. I there

401
00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:23,200
Speaker 4: were years where I would open a gift at my grandparents' house.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

403
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 4: It would be some flashlight that you could bend for

404
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:32,159
Speaker 4: for working on, uh, for automotive purposes, And there were

405
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,639
Speaker 4: already batteries in it and it was dead and it

406
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 4: was dead and yeah, it was already used. And I

407
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 4: would leave it there accidentally. Uh, and then the next

408
00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:45,960
Speaker 4: year they would they would give it to me again.

409
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,399
Speaker 4: I we saw gifts that were given, like my uncle

410
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Speaker 4: would receive a flannel shirt and then the next year

411
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Speaker 4: I got that shirt, like and and they wouldn't spend

412
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Speaker 4: a lot of money. But we had this uncle, my

413
00:23:03,119 --> 00:23:06,919
Speaker 4: Grandpa's brother, who lived in Seattle, And it wasn't until

414
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 4: recently we because we would open a gift from him

415
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Speaker 4: and he'd say, what I get you? And we'd all laugh.

416
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 4: Every Christmas we still say what I get you? But

417
00:23:15,960 --> 00:23:19,600
Speaker 4: we realized he was giving them all the money. He

418
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 4: was secretly saving all his money. He was he lived

419
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Speaker 4: alone his whole life, He saved all his money, and

420
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Speaker 4: he would he would pay for Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Oh my god.

422
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Speaker 4: So we've he passed away a long time ago, but

423
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Speaker 4: my sister and I really love him now because what

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Speaker 4: a sweetheart.

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Speaker 3: I know.

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Speaker 4: That is he was spending money ahead of time, just

427
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:42,600
Speaker 4: buy all the gifts with this And then when we'd

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Speaker 4: open gifts from everyone, including him, he'd be like, what

429
00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 4: is it? But he wow paid for it.

430
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Speaker 3: He was I mean essentially a true Santa Claus.

431
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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's great.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

433
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Speaker 4: And when he passed away, he had saved close to

434
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Speaker 4: a million dollars. What Yeah, And he lived alone in

435
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 4: this apartment. I went there when I was a kid.

436
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,480
Speaker 4: He had all his old TVs stacked. He had the

437
00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:12,359
Speaker 4: newest TV on top and then the TV from twenty

438
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,520
Speaker 4: years before. He kept everything. It wasn't a hoarding situation.

439
00:24:16,680 --> 00:24:20,199
Speaker 4: He was always well dressed, but in suits that he

440
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,760
Speaker 4: had gotten from the fifties that he just took care of.

441
00:24:23,160 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 3: Oh, this is incredible.

442
00:24:24,600 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 4: He's such a classic guy. He but he left this

443
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:32,159
Speaker 4: money to my grandparents, and when they passed away. Not

444
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,400
Speaker 4: to get serious, but my mom was in need of

445
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:38,960
Speaker 4: Alzheimer's care and all of a sudden, this money came

446
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:41,600
Speaker 4: out of nowhere. We were able to put her into

447
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:45,119
Speaker 4: a facility. And then when my mom passed, we that

448
00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:47,320
Speaker 4: money was split among us, and that's how I paid

449
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:50,679
Speaker 4: for my comedy special. So in the end, who I'm

450
00:24:50,760 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 4: realizing that's kind of now is my grandpa's brother who

451
00:24:56,480 --> 00:24:59,840
Speaker 4: was adopted. They weren't even he's not even a blood.

452
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:01,840
Speaker 3: So he really didn't have to do this.

453
00:25:02,040 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 4: No, he paid for my comedy special.

454
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,440
Speaker 3: That's amazing.

455
00:25:05,920 --> 00:25:09,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm sorry I've been talking so long, but I

456
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 4: was kind of figuring it out out well.

457
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 3: But this is an angel person. I mean, yeah, he

458
00:25:13,800 --> 00:25:16,760
Speaker 3: would give him the sweetest three minutes on a podcast.

459
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:17,960
Speaker 3: I think is the least we can do.

460
00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,399
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it is too. I he what a

461
00:25:21,680 --> 00:25:26,160
Speaker 4: kind sweet man, and uh yeah, but.

462
00:25:26,119 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 3: Then the best but any of this right him? Because

463
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:31,840
Speaker 3: you told me you're a terrible gift giver.

464
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:35,920
Speaker 4: I my, it's just there's so many I feel like

465
00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 4: I'm a failure every time I give a gift. It

466
00:25:38,240 --> 00:25:41,680
Speaker 4: feels good to nail it, but I anguish over giving

467
00:25:41,760 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 4: the right thing. And if I can't think of the

468
00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 4: right gift, there are times where I just don't give

469
00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 4: anything because I'm not given a gift. Gift. Wow, that's

470
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:56,000
Speaker 4: an insult. And last night, last minute searching for you,

471
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:59,400
Speaker 4: I was like, I'll just on Amazon all and I

472
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,399
Speaker 4: almost I was thinking about getting a star in your

473
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,720
Speaker 4: name or some acreage of wilderness. And Karen, that's the

474
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,440
Speaker 4: gift you sent me to listen, that's what she had gotten.

475
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:11,680
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, she gave me a there's now a star,

476
00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:14,280
Speaker 3: which is mine. Everyone leave it alone.

477
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:18,720
Speaker 4: It's so And I don't talk about giving people stars,

478
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 4: but I almost that's Christy crossed my mind. Yeah, we

479
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 4: spend a lot of time together anyway, Well.

480
00:26:24,440 --> 00:26:27,120
Speaker 3: Listen, everyone can use two stars. If you had given

481
00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:30,040
Speaker 3: me another, there's a maybe I just monopolize space.

482
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:34,280
Speaker 4: Have you opened the gift I've given you?

483
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:36,679
Speaker 3: Of course not. I'm about to do it. Should I

484
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:37,960
Speaker 3: open it now? Yeah?

485
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:42,679
Speaker 4: If we've covered I do have. The point is I

486
00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 4: have anxiety over gift giving. I'm getting a little amount

487
00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:49,480
Speaker 4: of breath right now. My back is sweating. I don't

488
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 4: know if you'll like it.

489
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:53,760
Speaker 3: I mean, I think there's a lot of I mean,

490
00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:56,159
Speaker 3: if you don't have anxiety about giving a gift, I

491
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:57,200
Speaker 3: think it means you don't care.

492
00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,679
Speaker 4: I do care, and I care so much that if

493
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:02,919
Speaker 4: I can't think of a good gift, you get nothing.

494
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 4: And when you get nothing from me, it's because I

495
00:27:05,840 --> 00:27:11,399
Speaker 4: cared too much, or you despise the person. Yeah, I

496
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:14,879
Speaker 4: hope my nieces and nephew are listening. When I hate

497
00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 4: all of you anything, your uncle loves you. But I

498
00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 4: just couldn't think of the perfect thing. And if it

499
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,840
Speaker 4: ain't perfect, sure, there's nothing. You get nothing.

500
00:27:26,880 --> 00:27:28,800
Speaker 3: Okay, I'm going to open this. It's wrapped up in

501
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 3: the cover of a Time magazine, a Time magazine cover

502
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:43,639
Speaker 3: which has I noticed a Montana mailing address on it. Yes, yes,

503
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 3: that is your magazine? Or is this from a relative?

504
00:27:46,680 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 4: Or I think that I was visiting my father and

505
00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,720
Speaker 4: I took that with me first, some airplane reading two

506
00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 4: years ago. I've been sitting on that magazine, waiting to

507
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:02,000
Speaker 4: use the cover for the right gift as wrapping paper.

508
00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 4: And here we are. We find ourselves looking at a

509
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,960
Speaker 4: hopeful version of Bernie from two years ago.

510
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:10,479
Speaker 3: Yeah, Bernie Sanders on the cover two years ago, and

511
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,920
Speaker 3: here we are in a whole new world. Who knows

512
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 3: what's happening. But also, I have your father's home address,

513
00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 3: so if I ever need to visit es or.

514
00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 4: Do whatever I need to, gladly accept you. I just

515
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 4: give you to Tig has stayed there. My buddy David

516
00:28:28,160 --> 00:28:31,840
Speaker 4: Huntsberger has stayed there. My dad loves comedy and probably

517
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 4: knows who you are. That's great, he knows what he knows.

518
00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 3: What's up, mister Fairbanks, I'm coming for you, so just

519
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:42,640
Speaker 3: you know, start preparing because he will want to say

520
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 3: that as a threat. Okay, I'm opening it up. Let's

521
00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:55,920
Speaker 3: unwrap this and react.

522
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 4: How you want. Don't pretend, don't sugarcoat it.

523
00:28:58,040 --> 00:29:02,720
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I can't have an actual reaction yet, because

524
00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 3: I'm determining what this is. So it's like a there's

525
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:08,320
Speaker 3: like a clear little bagh. It's like a very thick

526
00:29:08,360 --> 00:29:12,400
Speaker 3: plastic that says the Unfinished Arts. Everyone wears a mask,

527
00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 3: and now within it there's like a pink little bag

528
00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:20,719
Speaker 3: wrapped in tissue. Yeah, so I still don't it's a

529
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 3: It's a mask of some kind. Is that right?

530
00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,880
Speaker 4: One would think? And one was, by the way, Uh,

531
00:29:26,920 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 4: that's what's manufactured a couple of years ago. It's why

532
00:29:30,160 --> 00:29:33,040
Speaker 4: I picked it. Why does it say everyone wears a mask?

533
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:37,760
Speaker 4: It is foreshadowing the future, and I will spoil it

534
00:29:37,800 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 4: a little bit. It is not a mask, and I

535
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 4: do show going, yes, keep going, Okay, it's not just

536
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 4: tissue paper.

537
00:29:46,920 --> 00:29:51,240
Speaker 3: Chris has given me fifteen pounds of pink tissue paper. No,

538
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 3: there's there's a rubber band around it. So I've got

539
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,360
Speaker 3: to open this up. There's still no telling what's in here.

540
00:29:56,640 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 4: And I joke with him earlier, like what if in

541
00:29:58,960 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 4: there was just the cut up pages of the magazine

542
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 4: with Bernie Sanders on the cover. But that is not

543
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 4: what it is.

544
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:10,000
Speaker 3: Okay, I unwrapping further. Oh what is this cologne?

545
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 4: It is a very high quality colonne. I just looked

546
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:20,160
Speaker 4: online it is I have regifted that, And to me,

547
00:30:20,240 --> 00:30:22,760
Speaker 4: that's normal. I told you about my history. I was

548
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,200
Speaker 4: going to give you a pin that was en animel

549
00:30:25,320 --> 00:30:29,640
Speaker 4: pin of a skeleton hand of Richard Pryor. I don't

550
00:30:29,680 --> 00:30:31,760
Speaker 4: know if you're a fan of his comedy.

551
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 3: That's a big swing to give somebody a piece of

552
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 3: an artist's material or whatever that they then they're like, well,

553
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:40,080
Speaker 3: I'm not that big of a I mean, I love

554
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 3: Richard Pryor and whatever, but like you give somebody once.

555
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 3: I remember in eighth grade received like a Dixie Chicks album, which,

556
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:52,720
Speaker 3: as an eighth grade boy who was also decades away

557
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:54,360
Speaker 3: from coming out of the clause, I was like, this

558
00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:56,400
Speaker 3: isn't for me. I'm taking this back to Fred Meyer

559
00:30:56,440 --> 00:31:03,479
Speaker 3: and getting the Beastie Boys and so. But yeah, with music, comedy,

560
00:31:03,480 --> 00:31:05,120
Speaker 3: that sort of thing, you're always running a risk of

561
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,560
Speaker 3: giving them an assignment. Yeah.

562
00:31:07,600 --> 00:31:12,600
Speaker 4: I harkened back to sixth grade when I slid a

563
00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 4: Belinda Carlisle seven inch ep in the girl I dating

564
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 4: her locker along with a piece of cake, and she

565
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,840
Speaker 4: threw her bags in there and the cake when everywhere,

566
00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:28,360
Speaker 4: and she broke up with me the next day at

567
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 4: the Western Montana Fair, so giving music as a gift,

568
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:37,400
Speaker 4: just assuming she loved the hit song Heaven as a

569
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 4: Place on Earth. I thought everyone liked it. But she's

570
00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 4: doing fine now she's actually a beautiful woman married to

571
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:44,800
Speaker 4: a fireman somewhere.

572
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,440
Speaker 3: Well, let's hope she's come around on Belinda, because that

573
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: song's it's a terrific piece of music.

574
00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 4: All the go gos listen to it now.

575
00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:57,280
Speaker 3: Oh, it hits immediately you're in a good mood.

576
00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,440
Speaker 4: I love it of that vacation song it Oh, me

577
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,600
Speaker 4: and all my friends every year have tried to do

578
00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 4: a waterski pyramid because of that music video.

579
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 3: Oh I would kill to water ski to that.

580
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:12,440
Speaker 4: It is so hard to do a pyramid, by the way,

581
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:14,080
Speaker 4: But anyway, back to the gift.

582
00:32:14,120 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: I'm sorry, okay, So this is this is I've already

583
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,760
Speaker 3: smelled it. I did an immediate smell. It smells good,

584
00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:21,520
Speaker 3: very nice.

585
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:24,520
Speaker 4: It's a nice perfume. I'm telling you. There's no parabins

586
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:31,680
Speaker 4: or glycea talls or or lead in that organic artist series.

587
00:32:31,840 --> 00:32:36,520
Speaker 4: Whoever the artist all the That's why the piece of

588
00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:39,360
Speaker 4: plastic is with it, because all the information is on

589
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:42,840
Speaker 4: that plastic. Oh, I googled it. First of all, you're

590
00:32:42,840 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 4: not supposed to do this with a gift, but that

591
00:32:45,080 --> 00:32:48,160
Speaker 4: retails for a one hundred and fifty seven dollars.

592
00:32:49,080 --> 00:32:50,680
Speaker 3: This is a part of my podcast.

593
00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 4: I had to tell you because I think I've given

594
00:32:53,360 --> 00:32:56,560
Speaker 4: you the most expensive gift. That's a crazy I mean,

595
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,120
Speaker 4: there's Geene Jackets in there. I could have given you

596
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:03,200
Speaker 4: a a a mug or a poster from my comedy special.

597
00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 4: That is a incertain I don't know if it's gone

598
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:08,360
Speaker 4: up in value. I'm going to say that's a two

599
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 4: hundred dollars.

600
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 3: This is appreciated. You've given me an investment.

601
00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:14,600
Speaker 4: Yeah, but it did come with a piece of art

602
00:33:14,640 --> 00:33:17,520
Speaker 4: by that artist, and I guess the artist is the

603
00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 4: one that poured wax on it.

604
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 3: Or oh okay, so okay, so well, first of all,

605
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,719
Speaker 3: I just want to I think maybe future episodes, I'm

606
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 3: going to do a price is Right style. That's just

607
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:32,400
Speaker 3: the least appropriate thing you can possibly do with the gift,

608
00:33:32,400 --> 00:33:34,280
Speaker 3: where I try to guess the price of the gift.

609
00:33:34,480 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 4: I know that was how my mom was weird about

610
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,760
Speaker 4: gift giving. When when we opened something up my grandparents

611
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:43,480
Speaker 4: she would exhale and leave the room angry because based

612
00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,400
Speaker 4: on what it did or didn't cost, she would get

613
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 4: so upset with her parents, and then we'd get stressed

614
00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 4: out money, the value of a gift. My sister and

615
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 4: I were raised so poorly when it came to gift

616
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:03,040
Speaker 4: like the importance of the gift cost. It's like, of course, anyway,

617
00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,360
Speaker 4: that costs one hundred and fifty seven dollars Bridger.

618
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:12,280
Speaker 3: That's an expensive cologne, is very expensive, which is probably

619
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 3: part of the reason why I never owned Colonne.

620
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:16,680
Speaker 4: I couldn't find a gift that is a gift from

621
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:21,279
Speaker 4: Jessica Kelly, my manager. She dropped it by she said,

622
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,759
Speaker 4: I have really nice cologne. I'm like, you're saving the day.

623
00:34:23,840 --> 00:34:26,000
Speaker 4: And then I saw that it was called everyone wears

624
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,120
Speaker 4: a Mask, So I have to give her credit, just

625
00:34:29,280 --> 00:34:34,279
Speaker 4: like my uncle's flashlight the year before. It's not technically

626
00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,600
Speaker 4: from me, but it was given to her also, And

627
00:34:37,600 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 4: this is a double regifted gift. It may have been

628
00:34:42,200 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 4: regifted to the person that gave it to her. This

629
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 4: is a real Magi triangle or pyramids. I don't know

630
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,799
Speaker 4: what I'm trying to say, but.

631
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,239
Speaker 3: Someone has cut all of their hair and sold it.

632
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:56,719
Speaker 3: Somebody has what's the other element of the Magi thing?

633
00:34:56,800 --> 00:34:57,120
Speaker 3: It's a.

634
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:02,520
Speaker 4: I cut my hair to buy you. These fans are

635
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 4: to buy you a What was it?

636
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 3: Is it like a watch?

637
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:07,520
Speaker 4: Yes?

638
00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,640
Speaker 3: Then what did he give away? Did he chop his

639
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:12,080
Speaker 3: hands off and he can't wear the watch anymore?

640
00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 4: He got his hands up, so you can no learn

641
00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,080
Speaker 4: longer use scissors. I feel like a nice pair of

642
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:21,440
Speaker 4: scissors had something to do with it. Someone sold their

643
00:35:21,480 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 4: hair before they got the scissors. I don't know. We

644
00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,920
Speaker 4: My drama teacher in high school was in a televised

645
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:32,880
Speaker 4: rendition of Gift of the Magi That's incredible, And she

646
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:35,359
Speaker 4: would show us a reel of her cutting hair in

647
00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:40,239
Speaker 4: that and I thought she was kind of overdoing it.

648
00:35:40,360 --> 00:35:42,799
Speaker 4: And when she would yell at me and drama, I

649
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 4: was like, you know what, we all know that you

650
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 4: overdo it a little bit. I'm miss Johnson. If you're listening,

651
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 4: I know that you're probably Oh God, I hope she's

652
00:35:52,239 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 4: not listening. She listens to my podcast. Oh does she

653
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,279
Speaker 4: worry so much? I'm me and my big fat mouth.

654
00:35:57,360 --> 00:36:00,360
Speaker 4: Miss Johnson. You've been an inspiration to me and I

655
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:04,719
Speaker 4: became an actor just to outdo you later in life.

656
00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:10,000
Speaker 3: Oh, we loved your turner's wife in the gift of

657
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,240
Speaker 3: the match, I just the wife have a do the husband?

658
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:15,000
Speaker 3: Do they have names? I feel like giving them names

659
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 3: would cheapen the parable if her names like Trisha or

660
00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:19,080
Speaker 3: something of his.

661
00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:23,360
Speaker 4: She was gift giver number three parenthesis woman.

662
00:36:25,080 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 3: I like the idea of this being a gift giving triangle,

663
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 3: like a love triangle, where there's some level of backstabbing

664
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 3: and deceit, and there's lover scorned gift givers scored. Okay,

665
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 3: so this gift is truly who knows this could be?

666
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 3: No one knows who this gift started with.

667
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: Right, there's no way of knowing.

668
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:49,799
Speaker 3: Giving somebody a cologne is an interesting thing because there's

669
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,280
Speaker 3: a good chance that they're hinting that you smell terrible.

670
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,720
Speaker 4: This is I thought about that, and I felt terrible.

671
00:36:56,800 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 4: I was seeing a girl who's still a friend. But

672
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 4: we when we broke up, I said, well, I already

673
00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:07,000
Speaker 4: got you this. It wasn't we just I gave her

674
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,520
Speaker 4: a tooth. I gave her a Saunicare toothbrush. Oh boy,

675
00:37:09,760 --> 00:37:12,200
Speaker 4: And so she had to receive that and think, oh,

676
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:14,239
Speaker 4: he broke up with me because my breath is bad,

677
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,759
Speaker 4: and it's like, no, it's a nice toothbrush. She wanted one.

678
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:21,520
Speaker 4: My friend, my good friend's and engineer at Sauniccare, he

679
00:37:21,600 --> 00:37:25,480
Speaker 4: designed this new brush head and he sent me a

680
00:37:25,520 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 4: new brush and I gave it to It was a

681
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:31,280
Speaker 4: nice gift. But as a parting gift, it will offend.

682
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:34,319
Speaker 3: It does. It's a little like work on that for

683
00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:35,160
Speaker 3: the next person.

684
00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:38,719
Speaker 4: I know still I still flinch when I think about it.

685
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 3: But you were truly just worried about her gum health.

686
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,840
Speaker 3: Now she'll realize that eventually, when she doesn't have to

687
00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:48,520
Speaker 3: get her gums replaced or whatever they do, she's going

688
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:53,840
Speaker 3: to think back fondly on that parting gift. Yeah, I yeah,

689
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:56,480
Speaker 3: But I mean I have been in a car a

690
00:37:56,520 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 3: few times with you on your podcast, so I mean

691
00:37:58,960 --> 00:38:01,479
Speaker 3: there is a good chance that you just thought bridge

692
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:04,760
Speaker 3: or smells terrible and it's time somebody turns that around.

693
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:09,160
Speaker 4: You've always had your fragrance and your appearance together, and

694
00:38:09,200 --> 00:38:11,520
Speaker 4: that this in no way is a reflection of that

695
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 4: stinky Richard.

696
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:16,000
Speaker 3: You don't come on my podcast and try to insult

697
00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 3: my body odor. I never would. I'm showering daily. I've

698
00:38:21,320 --> 00:38:24,480
Speaker 3: got the deodorant. I'm doing everything I can, and if

699
00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:26,759
Speaker 3: that's not good enough for the world, then damn them.

700
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:30,719
Speaker 4: And I am not calling you smelly. In fact, I

701
00:38:30,760 --> 00:38:34,560
Speaker 4: should be this. Hello, pot, this is kettle. I am

702
00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 4: stinky right now. I'm so smelly. The only thing covering

703
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 4: it is the sample spray of the gift I gave you.

704
00:38:41,680 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 4: I had to make sure it smelled good, and so

705
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:46,400
Speaker 4: it just kind of went on one shoulder. I have

706
00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 4: one good shoulder in the other. I think this truly

707
00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:52,800
Speaker 4: does smelling it. Oh, this also doubles as a COVID test.

708
00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,760
Speaker 4: This is a quick like, oh my sense, my smell

709
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,840
Speaker 4: sense still is operating. I just use that for the

710
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:02,080
Speaker 4: next six months, and I need to double check. Yeah,

711
00:39:02,120 --> 00:39:05,320
Speaker 4: there's so many reminders in there. It's it's called everyone

712
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:07,560
Speaker 4: wears a mask. I still don't know why. It probably

713
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:10,880
Speaker 4: had something to do with the small painting that someone

714
00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:15,759
Speaker 4: kept and then gave the perfume away, or I think

715
00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,000
Speaker 4: I went to a website and it looked like it

716
00:39:18,040 --> 00:39:20,520
Speaker 4: was an artist series that where it came with a

717
00:39:20,520 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 4: piece of art. That's why the bag is severed in

718
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:24,320
Speaker 4: half with kitchen shears.

719
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:25,400
Speaker 3: Oh, I didn't know.

720
00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:29,600
Speaker 4: It's like it's missing something, and I think a piece

721
00:39:29,640 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 4: of art.

722
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,840
Speaker 3: But the important thing is here, which is this beautiful smell.

723
00:39:34,160 --> 00:39:38,800
Speaker 3: I am not good at identifying smells, but I feel

724
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,120
Speaker 3: like it's almost a woodsy pine smell. Is that the

725
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,480
Speaker 3: guest is.

726
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,080
Speaker 4: It's kind of an outdoorsy, masculine smell. But it's also

727
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:50,920
Speaker 4: I don't know. I went back and forth. I'm like,

728
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 4: is this too girly? Is this too mat It's right

729
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:57,880
Speaker 4: in the middle. It really, it's really a good fragrance.

730
00:39:58,280 --> 00:40:02,640
Speaker 3: Yeah, it doesn't. It's not overpowering. It feels like someone

731
00:40:02,640 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 3: who's just emerged from the woods or something. And I'm

732
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:08,400
Speaker 3: happy to have that aura about me, somebody who's just

733
00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:12,600
Speaker 3: been out in the forest, you know, collecting berries or something.

734
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:16,279
Speaker 4: I think that probably because it is it actually has

735
00:40:16,400 --> 00:40:19,759
Speaker 4: berries and lavender and things like that. This is one

736
00:40:19,800 --> 00:40:23,840
Speaker 4: of those organic perfumes. It's an organic perfume.

737
00:40:24,280 --> 00:40:28,440
Speaker 3: Are what are not organic perfumes putting into their What

738
00:40:28,560 --> 00:40:28,960
Speaker 3: is that?

739
00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:29,440
Speaker 2: Oh?

740
00:40:29,680 --> 00:40:37,560
Speaker 4: Just Dracar noir with a little sugar brute fabage as

741
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:40,720
Speaker 4: some soda baking soda. I don't know.

742
00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:43,360
Speaker 3: No, wait, do you are you a cologne wearer?

743
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:48,560
Speaker 4: No? Okay, but I was given have you ever been? Yeah?

744
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,240
Speaker 4: I was given Clone as a gift. And every time

745
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,480
Speaker 4: I wore it, just one spray into the air and

746
00:40:54,520 --> 00:40:56,920
Speaker 4: then you walk into it, through it through the cloud

747
00:40:57,000 --> 00:40:59,520
Speaker 4: like a gentleman. And then I would go out and

748
00:40:59,560 --> 00:41:02,360
Speaker 4: everyone it's like, you smell so good. I was hearing

749
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,320
Speaker 4: that so much that I was like, oh, I should

750
00:41:05,320 --> 00:41:07,080
Speaker 4: have been wearing cologne. Yeah.

751
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,080
Speaker 3: I guess that you do the light walk through and

752
00:41:10,160 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 3: you've just got a pleasant smell. If you're spraying it

753
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:14,960
Speaker 3: directly on to yourself, you're immediately a jigglow or something.

754
00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:18,720
Speaker 4: Right exactly. I think that why aren't open my shirt

755
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 4: and I spray the medallion I'm wearing? No, and that

756
00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 4: bottle will last you. I mean this bottle I had

757
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:29,960
Speaker 4: lasted eight years, I think because I'm just wow. One

758
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 4: spray walkthrough is occasionally I.

759
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:35,800
Speaker 3: Feel like my I mean, I'm not going to have children,

760
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:39,360
Speaker 3: but you know, my niece's children are going to be

761
00:41:39,400 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 3: going through my things after I've died and they're going

762
00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:44,400
Speaker 3: to find a half empty bottle of this and then

763
00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:47,720
Speaker 3: they'll continue to use it. It'll be a scent for generations.

764
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:50,719
Speaker 4: See, that's what gift giving is all about like how

765
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 4: many people can receive it in the future exactly.

766
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 3: And this is also it provides kind of a sensory

767
00:41:56,719 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 3: element to this podcast, which is if people want to

768
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,239
Speaker 3: go out and purchases cologne while listening to the podcast,

769
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,080
Speaker 3: they can take, you know, the occasional whiff and it's

770
00:42:06,080 --> 00:42:08,920
Speaker 3: suddenly you know, like almost like a novelty three D

771
00:42:09,080 --> 00:42:12,600
Speaker 3: movie experience where you're you're in the room with us,

772
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,360
Speaker 3: You're smelling the cologne. You're smelling what I'm going to

773
00:42:15,360 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 3: be smelling like for decades, like.

774
00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:20,040
Speaker 4: The picture book that came along with the War of

775
00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,160
Speaker 4: the World's audio soundtrack.

776
00:42:22,440 --> 00:42:23,440
Speaker 3: Wait is that true?

777
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,239
Speaker 4: Yeah? Yeah, I had one as a kid. It was horrifying.

778
00:42:26,640 --> 00:42:27,239
Speaker 3: What was it?

779
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 4: War the World's Originally my dad remembers it. It was

780
00:42:33,040 --> 00:42:34,920
Speaker 4: that orwell what was his name?

781
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:35,680
Speaker 3: Orson Wells?

782
00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:40,760
Speaker 4: Orson Wells, thank you, not James Orwell, I don't read anyway.

783
00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:43,400
Speaker 4: They're just listening to the radio one day and it

784
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,040
Speaker 4: comes on like a like an emergency.

785
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:49,520
Speaker 3: Broadcast, right, like a real thing, and.

786
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,680
Speaker 4: Everyone was horrified and they I when I was a kid,

787
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,080
Speaker 4: I was given that and I think my dad presented

788
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 4: it in a way like this is real. And I

789
00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 4: listened to it and I was like, oh my god,

790
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:03,879
Speaker 4: this has lost footage of aliens abducting it, even though

791
00:43:03,920 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 4: there was an illustrated book that came with it.

792
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:10,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, like we're giving it away pretty quickly with an

793
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:11,440
Speaker 3: illustrated book.

794
00:43:11,600 --> 00:43:14,439
Speaker 4: But but yeah, I love that kind of sensory like, oh,

795
00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:16,680
Speaker 4: this is the sights and sounds.

796
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:20,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like what you were bounds and smells of.

797
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:23,520
Speaker 3: Have you ever gifts? Have you ever gone to one

798
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 3: of those movie theaters that like shakes you or sprays

799
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 3: you in the face. Yeah, yeah, I've never been toos.

800
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:33,160
Speaker 4: Does it like a bugs life? You know, a butg

801
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,400
Speaker 4: flies by and you get bugs spit in your.

802
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:38,440
Speaker 3: Face, right, or they like run under your seat so

803
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:40,560
Speaker 3: it feels like you've got bugs in your pants or.

804
00:43:40,520 --> 00:43:42,959
Speaker 4: Honey, I shrunk the kids. At one point, a dog

805
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:46,640
Speaker 4: sneezes in your face. It's always disgusting liquids that you don't.

806
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:50,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's never a pleasant like here's a taste of cake.

807
00:43:51,120 --> 00:43:54,920
Speaker 3: It's just whatever slime they can throw at the audience. Yeah.

808
00:43:55,239 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 4: And there's a virtual Transformers, right, that's pretty new one.

809
00:43:59,160 --> 00:44:03,200
Speaker 4: It's fun. And one point there's a Street urchin a

810
00:44:03,320 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 4: hobo man that just turns in peas in that miss.

811
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:11,040
Speaker 4: I thought it was kind of out of I'm sorry,

812
00:44:11,200 --> 00:44:14,040
Speaker 4: I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

813
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 3: I just so the Transformer's ride, there was a homeless

814
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:22,799
Speaker 3: man that peas on the audience. It almost feels like

815
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,480
Speaker 3: a real bad move on the part of Universal Studios.

816
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,919
Speaker 4: It's very real. I mean, it's part of the scariness

817
00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 4: of you know, Dycepticons are coming. There's Optimus Prime. Oh

818
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 4: my god, you're also dodging a human man's urine. I

819
00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:41,359
Speaker 4: always go dirty. I'm really sorry. This was such a

820
00:44:41,400 --> 00:44:42,920
Speaker 4: clean episode.

821
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 3: That's fine. When Michael Bay gets in the picture, you've

822
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:50,879
Speaker 3: just got to go dirty. It's just Michael Bay or

823
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 3: you know, legend creator of so many beautiful pieces of

824
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:58,240
Speaker 3: art that have led to this theme park ride where

825
00:44:58,719 --> 00:45:03,160
Speaker 3: we're somehow make fun of homeless people peeing on a

826
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 3: theme park guards. I didn't know.

827
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 4: Who else would pee in the camera. I should have

828
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:10,439
Speaker 4: just stopped with honey, I shrunk. The kids.

829
00:45:12,280 --> 00:45:16,240
Speaker 3: Always stop with honey. I shrunk. The kids leave with honey.

830
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,439
Speaker 3: I shrunk the kids. Well, I'm very excited to try

831
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:22,720
Speaker 3: this on. I mean, we'll see what the world thinks

832
00:45:22,840 --> 00:45:25,919
Speaker 3: obviously there are very few people smelling me right now,

833
00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:28,759
Speaker 3: but I know me too. Yeah, I mean, hopefully in

834
00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 3: the next six months or so, I'm going to make

835
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 3: my big debut as a new person who has like

836
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 3: a pleasant scent. People want to be around the you know,

837
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 3: the first person I hug post quarantine is going to

838
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:42,399
Speaker 3: get a whiff of this foresty delight and they're going

839
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: to just soak it in or they're going to be repulsed.

840
00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 3: And what happened to Bridger, to Woodsy to what he's

841
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,359
Speaker 3: been living in the forest for the last year.

842
00:45:53,760 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think someone there's maybe sap on your clothes.

843
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 3: Well, I'm always just con they a little bit sticky.

844
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,080
Speaker 3: So that's just something people have to deal with. I've

845
00:46:04,080 --> 00:46:08,040
Speaker 3: got Sarah Pani all over me, so, but that's the

846
00:46:08,120 --> 00:46:11,279
Speaker 3: Bridger experience. That's what people have to deal with. I

847
00:46:11,280 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 3: don't know what to tell them. Chris, how do you

848
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:15,839
Speaker 3: feel about playing a game?

849
00:46:16,880 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 2: Oh?

850
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 4: I love games?

851
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 3: Do you want to play? We have two game choices,

852
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,520
Speaker 3: and I'm going to let you pick gift or a

853
00:46:22,560 --> 00:46:27,040
Speaker 3: curse or Gift Master. Gift Master please, Okay, this is

854
00:46:27,040 --> 00:46:29,920
Speaker 3: how gift Master works. I'm going to give you three

855
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:35,160
Speaker 3: potential gifts, items, experiences, whatever, And I'm going to tell

856
00:46:35,200 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 3: you three celebrities. You have to tell me which of

857
00:46:38,760 --> 00:46:41,919
Speaker 3: those gifts you'll give which celebrity. Does that make sense?

858
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 4: Like fuck Mary Kill? But it's gifts.

859
00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:50,120
Speaker 3: I don't know sure. But what I need from you

860
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:53,359
Speaker 3: is a number between one and ten seven. Okay, I

861
00:46:53,400 --> 00:46:55,759
Speaker 3: have to go calculate some things I have to. You know,

862
00:46:55,840 --> 00:46:58,919
Speaker 3: it's a random list. So for the next amount of time,

863
00:46:58,960 --> 00:47:01,640
Speaker 3: who knows you to promote something, you get to recommend

864
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,280
Speaker 3: something you have the mic. Just use your time wisely,

865
00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:07,480
Speaker 3: don't let this opportunity pass you by. I'll be right back.

866
00:47:07,800 --> 00:47:11,680
Speaker 4: Okay, great, Well, I guess I'll just promote my special.

867
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:15,080
Speaker 4: I mean, I logically what I should be doing is

868
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:18,080
Speaker 4: using the bathroom. I have had to pee so badly.

869
00:47:18,520 --> 00:47:22,040
Speaker 4: But I want everyone to watch Rescue Cactus. That's my

870
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:27,560
Speaker 4: new comedy concert. It is on Vimeo on demand or

871
00:47:27,760 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 4: the website we'renarly dot com. That's w ere e na

872
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:37,200
Speaker 4: r l y that's Gnarly without a G. I wanted

873
00:47:37,200 --> 00:47:41,600
Speaker 4: to make it very hard to get access to Rescue Cactus.

874
00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:46,360
Speaker 4: It is on Vimeo on demand, my new comedy special

875
00:47:46,880 --> 00:47:53,760
Speaker 4: and soon we'll be playing a gift version of Blank

876
00:47:53,840 --> 00:47:59,160
Speaker 4: Mary Kill. I wonder what the gifts will be and

877
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:03,799
Speaker 4: who the selects will be. Let's just hope one of

878
00:48:03,840 --> 00:48:08,040
Speaker 4: them is Ashley Judd. I am watching Double Jeopardy, a

879
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 4: film that loosely based on the movie Fugitive. It's actually

880
00:48:13,120 --> 00:48:17,080
Speaker 4: no different, but it's Ashley Judd instead of Harrison Ford,

881
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:18,799
Speaker 4: wrongly accused for.

882
00:48:18,800 --> 00:48:22,400
Speaker 3: The creator of his spouse. Enough is enough? Oh sorry,

883
00:48:23,160 --> 00:48:27,040
Speaker 3: I've calculated. The time has come to play the game. Great,

884
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:30,120
Speaker 3: a pretty decent use of that time. You fell apart

885
00:48:30,120 --> 00:48:33,080
Speaker 3: a little in the middle, but you're everything's fine. We're

886
00:48:33,120 --> 00:48:34,120
Speaker 3: ready to play, gotcha.

887
00:48:34,560 --> 00:48:37,560
Speaker 4: I can get to Tommy Lee Jones is in both movies, anyway,

888
00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,279
Speaker 4: Go ahead, go ahead, all right.

889
00:48:39,320 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 3: These are the three gifts you have to give away. First,

890
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:45,719
Speaker 3: a novelty mailbox, so that could be any type of

891
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 3: novelty mailbox you want. You know, they come in all

892
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:52,160
Speaker 3: shapes and sizes. Sure, second gift is a senate seat.

893
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:55,360
Speaker 3: And third gift that you will be giving. Where is

894
00:48:55,400 --> 00:48:57,360
Speaker 3: it on here? I've already lost it and this is

895
00:48:57,400 --> 00:49:01,920
Speaker 3: a disaster. I've let's see here. Oh you know this

896
00:49:02,080 --> 00:49:04,520
Speaker 3: is something you'd buy it? I guess you buy them

897
00:49:04,520 --> 00:49:07,600
Speaker 3: at hardware stores or something. A bag of ladybugs. Are

898
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,439
Speaker 3: you familiar with those where you're able to just buy

899
00:49:09,440 --> 00:49:10,800
Speaker 3: a bunch of bugs in a bag?

900
00:49:11,520 --> 00:49:12,840
Speaker 4: Are they dead or alive?

901
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,080
Speaker 3: They're alive. This is a real thing.

902
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:17,160
Speaker 4: Are you sure it's not for fishing?

903
00:49:17,840 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 3: This is not for fishing. And I think you can

904
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:24,120
Speaker 3: order them online. It's a bag literally full of ladybugs.

905
00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:26,080
Speaker 3: And I assume that's to like you unleash them on

906
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,319
Speaker 3: your garden or whatever, to.

907
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,680
Speaker 4: Kill right or an enemy or an.

908
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 3: Enemy, or you like leave them in a church and

909
00:49:34,440 --> 00:49:36,440
Speaker 3: they get out and suddenly you know, or it's a

910
00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:40,680
Speaker 3: fun gag for the members of that church, whatever you

911
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:45,360
Speaker 3: want to do. That's that's basically what's happening here. You know,

912
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:47,480
Speaker 3: this is a randomly picked thing. So sometimes you get

913
00:49:47,520 --> 00:49:50,440
Speaker 3: an object that needs to be explained. Bag of lady bugs.

914
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,520
Speaker 3: You know what a senate seat is, so I don't

915
00:49:52,520 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 3: need to explain that. And you're going to be giving

916
00:49:54,640 --> 00:50:01,640
Speaker 3: them two the following celebrities. Okay, musician Saint Vincent, certainly

917
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:06,680
Speaker 3: terrific actor and bless her, she's always good. Catherine Keener

918
00:50:07,560 --> 00:50:11,240
Speaker 3: and finally a little bit more controversial, at this point

919
00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,440
Speaker 3: in his life. Musician Morrissey.

920
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:18,560
Speaker 4: Okay, I am not going to give the Senate seat

921
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:20,760
Speaker 4: to Morrissey. We've ruled him out.

922
00:50:21,360 --> 00:50:21,600
Speaker 5: And.

923
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,200
Speaker 3: I mean, is it the obvious? You care to explain?

924
00:50:26,120 --> 00:50:31,360
Speaker 4: He he There's been glimmers that he's perhaps on the

925
00:50:31,400 --> 00:50:35,319
Speaker 4: wrong side of the politics of sane people. So I

926
00:50:35,400 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 4: don't want him to be in control in any way.

927
00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:43,760
Speaker 3: That probably makes sense. Yeah, he's gotten into some racial

928
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,400
Speaker 3: territory that doesn't feel right.

929
00:50:47,200 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 4: But I do. Uh, I forgot which it was he's racist? Yeah,

930
00:50:51,480 --> 00:50:53,280
Speaker 4: I was like, what who does he hate?

931
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,120
Speaker 3: He has hate in him, but we make knew that

932
00:50:56,520 --> 00:51:01,359
Speaker 3: making some big bad statements that you know, Morrison needs

933
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,359
Speaker 3: to figure it out.

934
00:51:03,880 --> 00:51:07,759
Speaker 4: Yeah, and stop writing. You're not a good writer. His

935
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:09,760
Speaker 4: book is very strange and erotic.

936
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:11,440
Speaker 3: I've never read the book.

937
00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 4: I just this is from April April Richardson who uh

938
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,720
Speaker 4: is was former? Possibly back to just liking the music.

939
00:51:19,800 --> 00:51:22,360
Speaker 4: You know, it's a lot like Michael Jackson. Once you

940
00:51:22,400 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 4: get that beat hits your and your legs starts shaking,

941
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:29,480
Speaker 4: you can't not dance. And I love the Smiths and

942
00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:33,799
Speaker 4: of course I and I lyrically just the darkness I

943
00:51:33,800 --> 00:51:37,560
Speaker 4: feel like creatively, he is someone that is in his

944
00:51:37,640 --> 00:51:40,000
Speaker 4: own world. So I'm going to give him a mini

945
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:44,680
Speaker 4: dollhouse sized just because that's one of my interests. Uh.

946
00:51:44,800 --> 00:51:47,640
Speaker 4: And and as a reminder for him to say, stand

947
00:51:47,600 --> 00:51:54,240
Speaker 4: indoors and and keep his thoughts quarantined into a tiny

948
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:59,640
Speaker 4: tiny house. Uh, the little mailbox. Will I'm giving him

949
00:51:59,640 --> 00:52:01,879
Speaker 4: a mini ature dollhouse sized mail box.

950
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 3: Oh so a mailbox that cannot receive mail.

951
00:52:05,320 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I'm going to give the Senate seat uh

952
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:16,879
Speaker 4: to Catherine Keener. Oh, I just I've only seen her

953
00:52:16,920 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 4: once and it wasn't a speech, but she she remastered

954
00:52:21,800 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 4: and put out the movie Style Wars, which is about

955
00:52:25,880 --> 00:52:30,560
Speaker 4: the beginning of breakdancing and graffiti and early hip hop.

956
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:33,160
Speaker 4: It's it's a great movie. And she brought some of

957
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,120
Speaker 4: these kids. They're kids in the movie. Like if you

958
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:38,960
Speaker 4: ever that Beastie Boys album you went and pretended to

959
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:40,840
Speaker 4: like when you were a kid, you know all that.

960
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 3: I'm not pretended. I will say I love I love

961
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:44,760
Speaker 3: a Basie Boys album.

962
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:47,560
Speaker 4: Well, Belinda Carlisle is better in my opinion, but I

963
00:52:47,760 --> 00:52:50,719
Speaker 4: listened to Beastie Boys too, and or whatever you I

964
00:52:50,800 --> 00:52:54,319
Speaker 4: forgot what yours were, But there's that that sample that's like, yeah,

965
00:52:54,320 --> 00:52:56,239
Speaker 4: I heard she's been giving it up to all those

966
00:52:56,280 --> 00:53:00,600
Speaker 4: graffiti guys, get like those kids. That's all audio from

967
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:03,400
Speaker 4: this movie and it's a great movie. And some of

968
00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:06,480
Speaker 4: them were there speaking with her, and she cared so

969
00:53:06,640 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 4: much about graffiti culture from the eighties. It was just

970
00:53:10,239 --> 00:53:14,440
Speaker 4: like she seems like someone's that is passionate about things

971
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:17,120
Speaker 4: that she doesn't necessarily you wouldn't know. I think she

972
00:53:17,120 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 4: would have.

973
00:53:17,440 --> 00:53:19,359
Speaker 3: I would have never guessed this with Kathy, right.

974
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 4: She's filled with surprises, and she seems.

975
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:24,960
Speaker 3: Like a sensible you know, she's not going to make

976
00:53:25,000 --> 00:53:27,520
Speaker 3: any stupid moves in the Senate. I feel like she

977
00:53:27,600 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 3: probably should be in the Senate.

978
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:34,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, and I love she's dry, she's sarcastic, and she's smart,

979
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:38,160
Speaker 4: and she probably intimidates the right men, you know.

980
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:40,560
Speaker 3: And the thickest head of hair in Hollywood.

981
00:53:40,640 --> 00:53:43,480
Speaker 4: Let's say, it's not like I didn't even want her hair,

982
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:46,160
Speaker 4: can we not? I could talk an hour about her hair.

983
00:53:47,120 --> 00:53:49,640
Speaker 4: I actually can't picture it. I'm thinking of it was

984
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,200
Speaker 4: it was it was bound back, I think, and being

985
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 4: John Malkovich to where we didn't notice oh right, right, right.

986
00:53:55,800 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 4: But she's great in that she has my vote on

987
00:53:58,040 --> 00:54:03,080
Speaker 4: the Senate. The third gift being the bag of ladybugs

988
00:54:03,600 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 4: I'm going to give to Saint Vincent. I feel like

989
00:54:06,760 --> 00:54:10,400
Speaker 4: during one of her stage performances or Coachella or something,

990
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:15,400
Speaker 4: she could come out, you know, and and unleash them

991
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 4: like confetti and everyone imagine that you're on stage, and

992
00:54:20,320 --> 00:54:27,120
Speaker 4: then ladybugs just emerge from a pouch on her side

993
00:54:27,160 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 4: she has from a couch, a pouch she has auch.

994
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:33,440
Speaker 3: I was imagining kind of that was giving me some

995
00:54:33,520 --> 00:54:36,279
Speaker 3: real bedbug imagery. That doesn't feel right.

996
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 4: She comes out on stage on this weeld sofa, she's

997
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:44,279
Speaker 4: sitting on it, and on her side it's this handmade

998
00:54:44,400 --> 00:54:47,960
Speaker 4: leather pouch or fanny pack. She opens that up like

999
00:54:48,040 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 4: some kind of a gelfling or a pixie lady, and

1000
00:54:51,840 --> 00:54:55,080
Speaker 4: from it are these magical ladybugs and they fly into

1001
00:54:55,080 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 4: the audience and land on everyone's shoulders. And then she

1002
00:54:59,160 --> 00:55:01,560
Speaker 4: does one of her hits songs. I don't know any

1003
00:55:01,600 --> 00:55:03,480
Speaker 4: of them right now, but I know I love her

1004
00:55:03,520 --> 00:55:06,400
Speaker 4: work in the past. So she gets the bag of bugs.

1005
00:55:06,560 --> 00:55:07,840
Speaker 3: I think that's in Brilliance.

1006
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:12,959
Speaker 4: That's then at seat and Morrissey gets a tiny little mailbox.

1007
00:55:13,320 --> 00:55:16,040
Speaker 3: Everyone gets what they deserve. I think that that was

1008
00:55:16,080 --> 00:55:18,960
Speaker 3: fantastic and I can't. I mean, I feel like Saint

1009
00:55:19,040 --> 00:55:20,520
Speaker 3: Vincent is going to do that. We're gonna have to

1010
00:55:20,560 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 3: sew her for the idea. Yeah, yeah, I mean Saint

1011
00:55:24,320 --> 00:55:28,440
Speaker 3: Vincent also known as first name Annie. We know you're

1012
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 3: out there. If at any moment lady bugs emerge from

1013
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:35,799
Speaker 3: your stage show, Chris Fairbanks will see you in court. Yes, well,

1014
00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 3: you can collaborate, and you know, I feel like that's

1015
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:39,840
Speaker 3: a great idea.

1016
00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:46,000
Speaker 4: I just want ten percent of those bugs.

1017
00:55:43,960 --> 00:55:47,720
Speaker 3: For your own gardening purposes. Yeah yeah, that actually feels

1018
00:55:47,719 --> 00:55:51,120
Speaker 3: like an eco friendly version of confetti. You're sending out

1019
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:56,719
Speaker 3: these bugs to destroy other bugs and keep our gardens beautiful.

1020
00:55:57,120 --> 00:55:59,959
Speaker 4: And the funny thing that people don't realize about lady

1021
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,760
Speaker 4: bugs when you let them crawl on you because they're pretty,

1022
00:56:03,160 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 4: they fucking bite. They bite, and then they and then

1023
00:56:06,120 --> 00:56:09,239
Speaker 4: they piss orange liquid on you. They had them.

1024
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:11,000
Speaker 3: Neither of these things have happened to me.

1025
00:56:11,080 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 4: What They bite hard. Ladybugs bite and they bite hard.

1026
00:56:15,080 --> 00:56:16,680
Speaker 4: They're mean little ladies.

1027
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:19,440
Speaker 3: I had no idea. This is shocking.

1028
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:20,919
Speaker 4: I'm not shitting you, man.

1029
00:56:21,239 --> 00:56:23,800
Speaker 3: We're all letting them go on us whenever they feel

1030
00:56:23,880 --> 00:56:28,200
Speaker 3: like and they're biting, and they they make and kill

1031
00:56:28,280 --> 00:56:32,319
Speaker 3: right what they do? You know, they're murderers. They're out

1032
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:36,920
Speaker 3: there destroying the more pesty style bugs. But I have

1033
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:38,360
Speaker 3: been I feel like heroes.

1034
00:56:38,520 --> 00:56:41,440
Speaker 4: I've been bit by ladybugs and been really surprised. But

1035
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:43,879
Speaker 4: you know, you don't squash him. You're like, but you're

1036
00:56:43,920 --> 00:56:45,760
Speaker 4: beautiful and you let them fly away.

1037
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:48,439
Speaker 3: Wow that I need to. I mean, I'm willing for

1038
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:51,680
Speaker 3: Ah to let a ladybug bite me just for the experience.

1039
00:56:51,719 --> 00:56:53,719
Speaker 3: I need to. Maybe I'll order a bag and just

1040
00:56:53,800 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 3: let them go in my apartment and see what happens.

1041
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:58,280
Speaker 3: I'm very curious.

1042
00:56:58,160 --> 00:57:02,360
Speaker 4: Ladybugs in Montana. Really, maybe that's they get Oh.

1043
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:03,560
Speaker 3: It's the Montana ladybugs.

1044
00:57:03,760 --> 00:57:06,640
Speaker 4: Yeah, really, they have some teeth on them.

1045
00:57:07,040 --> 00:57:09,960
Speaker 3: Well, you did an incredible job there. I think that

1046
00:57:09,960 --> 00:57:14,200
Speaker 3: that was just an outstanding use of those gifts. So

1047
00:57:14,239 --> 00:57:16,680
Speaker 3: we're going to move into the final segment of this podcast,

1048
00:57:17,000 --> 00:57:20,240
Speaker 3: where real life people need some actual help giving gifts

1049
00:57:20,320 --> 00:57:22,440
Speaker 3: to people they're writing into I said no gifts at

1050
00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 3: gmail dot com. They're desperate. They need the help of

1051
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:29,720
Speaker 3: two strangers to give someone in their life a gift.

1052
00:57:29,800 --> 00:57:34,120
Speaker 3: Let me read the first letter right now. Okay, Bridger,

1053
00:57:34,200 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 3: I have a mother like all of us, I suppose, Okay, great,

1054
00:57:39,000 --> 00:57:41,480
Speaker 3: but she has money and the ability to buy anything

1055
00:57:41,560 --> 00:57:44,280
Speaker 3: she wants. We also live a far we live far apart,

1056
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:50,040
Speaker 3: so experiences we can share are out. She enjoys true crime, law,

1057
00:57:50,400 --> 00:57:54,840
Speaker 3: Skinny Margarita's, and the color teal. That's really all I've got, thanks,

1058
00:57:54,920 --> 00:57:58,720
Speaker 3: And that's from Casey. So, Casey, the mom has a

1059
00:57:58,800 --> 00:58:01,240
Speaker 3: lot of money. This is this is always trouble with

1060
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 3: someone older or more successful, that they struggle to find

1061
00:58:05,720 --> 00:58:09,120
Speaker 3: them something that they can use that they don't already have.

1062
00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:14,200
Speaker 4: And yeah, nothing stresses me out more than oh so

1063
00:58:14,240 --> 00:58:17,680
Speaker 4: then it just has to be thoughtful. It's like, all right, boy,

1064
00:58:17,960 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 4: can I just throw money at this problem?

1065
00:58:20,600 --> 00:58:24,360
Speaker 3: Yes? Well okay, So first of all, Casey, I'm seeing

1066
00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:26,800
Speaker 3: the words teal. The first thing that comes to mind.

1067
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 3: This is going to cost I actually I don't know

1068
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,880
Speaker 3: what this is going to cost at this point, but

1069
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,920
Speaker 3: I picture I always associate the word teal with a

1070
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:35,080
Speaker 3: pontiac grandam.

1071
00:58:35,760 --> 00:58:37,520
Speaker 4: Oh man, you have to buy a car.

1072
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,240
Speaker 3: I feel like you've got to get her, you know,

1073
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:43,240
Speaker 3: like a nineteen ninety eight Pontiac Granddam. That's immediately something

1074
00:58:43,240 --> 00:58:48,400
Speaker 3: that she can It's a lot of teal it's functioning

1075
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:51,400
Speaker 3: or not. She's going to be shocked, but she's also

1076
00:58:51,440 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 3: going to it's going to be difficult for her to

1077
00:58:53,760 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 3: deny when it's her favorite color.

1078
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:59,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, and reminiscent of the ending scene of Thelman Luis

1079
00:59:00,280 --> 00:59:04,040
Speaker 4: where a Teal Chevy launches off the side of a

1080
00:59:04,080 --> 00:59:09,880
Speaker 4: cliff as a clasp each other's hands. Sorry, I just

1081
00:59:09,920 --> 00:59:11,400
Speaker 4: went into a dream world, so.

1082
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 3: No, I mean, but speaking of experiences, you can share

1083
00:59:14,800 --> 00:59:16,760
Speaker 3: drive off a cliff and a Pontiac Grand Dam with

1084
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 3: your mom.

1085
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:20,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a great You both have a skinny.

1086
00:59:20,440 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 3: Margarita and you you're a little tipsy, and suddenly it

1087
00:59:24,200 --> 00:59:26,680
Speaker 3: feels like a good idea to Thelma and Louise.

1088
00:59:26,720 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 2: It.

1089
00:59:27,960 --> 00:59:30,400
Speaker 3: I don't know. That feels like a gift that can't

1090
00:59:30,440 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 3: be denied and also incorporates true crime. I mean, suddenly

1091
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:36,640
Speaker 3: we're all talking about this lady. She may not get

1092
00:59:36,680 --> 00:59:39,760
Speaker 3: to experience it. I don't know, that feels like a

1093
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:44,640
Speaker 3: decent gift. I mean, otherwise true crime law, I mean

1094
00:59:44,880 --> 00:59:48,760
Speaker 3: law that casey, Come on, what gift? What are you

1095
00:59:48,760 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 3: giving anyone who enjoys law that like get maybe I

1096
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:54,880
Speaker 3: guess a book about there's got to be a good

1097
00:59:55,160 --> 00:59:58,520
Speaker 3: I'm thinking I read a decent book about the actually

1098
00:59:58,560 --> 01:00:05,080
Speaker 3: an excellent book about the ira A uh called Tell

1099
01:00:05,720 --> 01:00:08,320
Speaker 3: I believe it's called Tell No One. That's a good

1100
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:14,680
Speaker 3: true crime historical. I hope that's what it's called, because otherwise,

1101
01:00:15,120 --> 01:00:17,160
Speaker 3: but it's an excellent book. And if she enjoys that

1102
01:00:17,160 --> 01:00:21,280
Speaker 3: sort of thing, that's a genuine recommendation, right, right, Chris,

1103
01:00:21,320 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 3: do you have any ideas?

1104
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:28,840
Speaker 4: And I think she is into law. I'm guessing because

1105
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 4: it has a it's a big it's a big part

1106
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:35,480
Speaker 4: in solving crimes, like like I'm watching that the HBO

1107
01:00:35,600 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 4: documentary about Michelle McNamara. Oh sure, sure, and and so

1108
01:00:40,560 --> 01:00:45,200
Speaker 4: much of it was her doing her own detective work

1109
01:00:45,440 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 4: and and crime reach. It's a big part of like

1110
01:00:47,960 --> 01:00:52,880
Speaker 4: murder mystery. It's it's really interesting. So anyway, should just

1111
01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:56,800
Speaker 4: get her that that book or or just uh with

1112
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:58,400
Speaker 4: a teal bookmark in it?

1113
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,640
Speaker 3: Oh, I'll go to an ice quality bookmark is not

1114
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:05,959
Speaker 3: a bad idea with along with the book. And I'm realizing, yeah,

1115
01:01:06,000 --> 01:01:08,720
Speaker 3: the book I recommend it is actually called say nothing,

1116
01:01:09,760 --> 01:01:14,439
Speaker 3: not tell no one, say nothing. Okay, similar things, but yeah,

1117
01:01:14,480 --> 01:01:16,920
Speaker 3: we get her the book. Maybe you make the bookmark.

1118
01:01:17,240 --> 01:01:19,439
Speaker 3: Maybe it's made out of a beautiful teal fabric, maybe

1119
01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:23,400
Speaker 3: as the color teal pontiac grand damn picture on it.

1120
01:01:23,600 --> 01:01:26,240
Speaker 4: Right right, that's more affordable and it and it makes

1121
01:01:26,280 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 4: a book more personal, like it is kind of personal

1122
01:01:29,840 --> 01:01:31,920
Speaker 4: to say, hey, I want you to read this book,

1123
01:01:31,960 --> 01:01:34,240
Speaker 4: but you are just like buying a book you got

1124
01:01:34,280 --> 01:01:36,800
Speaker 4: on Amazon, so you can really personalize it with a

1125
01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:42,400
Speaker 4: nice handmade bookmark. Like I'm picturing a strip of teal

1126
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,720
Speaker 4: leather or maybe full leather.

1127
01:01:44,800 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 3: If she's vegan, Well, I feel like a is there

1128
01:01:49,840 --> 01:01:52,280
Speaker 3: can you get teal leather that's not vegan?

1129
01:01:53,000 --> 01:01:56,200
Speaker 4: I guess you have to go to the Southwest to say,

1130
01:01:56,360 --> 01:02:01,360
Speaker 4: kind of a Southwestern art store there's teal leather with

1131
01:02:01,520 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 4: fringes and oh I would lovely on a cast or something. Yeah,

1132
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:07,800
Speaker 4: you have it like on the lapel of a vest.

1133
01:02:08,400 --> 01:02:10,880
Speaker 4: You just rip that off. You buy the vest, you

1134
01:02:10,960 --> 01:02:14,960
Speaker 4: rip off the teal leathering. Yes, jam that into your

1135
01:02:14,960 --> 01:02:16,600
Speaker 4: favorite book about crime.

1136
01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:21,080
Speaker 3: And then there's the possibility of driving off a cliff

1137
01:02:21,120 --> 01:02:24,520
Speaker 3: is always there. Keep that in mind, Okay, Casey, we're

1138
01:02:24,520 --> 01:02:26,040
Speaker 3: moving on, we have to answer at least one more

1139
01:02:26,040 --> 01:02:31,320
Speaker 3: person's question. Okay, Chris, this says, Hello, I am Russian

1140
01:02:31,360 --> 01:02:34,200
Speaker 3: as fuck. My grandmother is turning eighty eight in July.

1141
01:02:34,600 --> 01:02:36,520
Speaker 3: She's the type of woman who moved to America in

1142
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:40,280
Speaker 3: her retirement, learned to drive and rollerblade, traveled the world,

1143
01:02:40,760 --> 01:02:43,920
Speaker 3: buried her late life boyfriend directly next to my grandfather,

1144
01:02:44,400 --> 01:02:47,000
Speaker 3: and refuses to use a walker despite having suffered some

1145
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 3: legit falls because that shit for old people. She's a badass,

1146
01:02:51,400 --> 01:02:55,600
Speaker 3: compassionate and all around awesome person with some very slight dementia.

1147
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 3: I love her, but she's impossible to shop for any

1148
01:02:58,920 --> 01:03:01,680
Speaker 3: ideas that's from Anna or maybe Anna. I never know

1149
01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:04,520
Speaker 3: with a Russian person if it's Anna or Anna. But

1150
01:03:04,640 --> 01:03:08,960
Speaker 3: it's a n n A. This grandmother sounds fantastic. This

1151
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,040
Speaker 3: is a I mean, this person is living life that list.

1152
01:03:12,200 --> 01:03:16,360
Speaker 4: I mean, my favorite is the burying her boyfriend next

1153
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:17,560
Speaker 4: to her first husband.

1154
01:03:17,840 --> 01:03:21,600
Speaker 3: Right, this is where I keep my man collection.

1155
01:03:21,920 --> 01:03:24,880
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's great. It's like a bag of ladybugs.

1156
01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:30,080
Speaker 3: Satan Vincent throws her boyfriends onto the audience.

1157
01:03:30,240 --> 01:03:34,880
Speaker 4: Devin rollerblading, that's so cool. Yeah, this say when she

1158
01:03:35,000 --> 01:03:35,760
Speaker 4: was rollerblading.

1159
01:03:35,800 --> 01:03:39,880
Speaker 3: Like really, well, I let's just assume eighty seven. I mean,

1160
01:03:40,480 --> 01:03:43,720
Speaker 3: this says she's I feel like this person is probably

1161
01:03:43,800 --> 01:03:45,840
Speaker 3: still rollerblading and uh.

1162
01:03:46,560 --> 01:03:50,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, so what do we get her?

1163
01:03:50,400 --> 01:03:53,400
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like she's still up for an

1164
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,440
Speaker 3: adventure or some sort of excitement. This is somebody that

1165
01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:58,000
Speaker 3: you really want to get out in the world. You

1166
01:03:58,040 --> 01:04:00,680
Speaker 3: don't want to give her like a puzzle get her out.

1167
01:04:02,000 --> 01:04:05,480
Speaker 3: I mean she rollerblades, maybe it's time she learns to

1168
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:11,120
Speaker 3: what ice skate or what's a skateboard game?

1169
01:04:11,360 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 4: She should skateboard. I mean rollerblading it's better exercise. You

1170
01:04:15,200 --> 01:04:18,680
Speaker 4: get that side to side. You know, it works your

1171
01:04:18,840 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 4: certain muscle groups. But skateboarding is really what everyone wants

1172
01:04:22,360 --> 01:04:26,840
Speaker 4: to be doing. There's a woman called Elaine Shawcross who's

1173
01:04:27,240 --> 01:04:31,439
Speaker 4: a woman from England who died a few months ago.

1174
01:04:31,480 --> 01:04:37,120
Speaker 4: But she in her I believe seventies, decided I want

1175
01:04:37,200 --> 01:04:40,360
Speaker 4: to learn to do a shove it, a skateboard trick

1176
01:04:40,480 --> 01:04:44,760
Speaker 4: called a shove it or skateboard. She had cancer. She

1177
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:47,360
Speaker 4: was in remission. It was breast cancer. It was spreading

1178
01:04:47,400 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 4: and then she'd go through chemo again and it was

1179
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,840
Speaker 4: all on this Instagram account that I think her daughter's

1180
01:04:54,120 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 4: husband was curating, and everyone the skateboard community fell in

1181
01:04:58,360 --> 01:05:01,320
Speaker 4: love with this woman who had be of her trying

1182
01:05:01,320 --> 01:05:04,520
Speaker 4: to do this trick on her carpet and then she'd

1183
01:05:04,520 --> 01:05:06,680
Speaker 4: be back in the hospital so she wouldn't be trying

1184
01:05:06,720 --> 01:05:09,360
Speaker 4: to learn the trick and then she'd be back and

1185
01:05:09,520 --> 01:05:14,880
Speaker 4: every I love that the skateboard industry, like it's weird. Yeah,

1186
01:05:14,920 --> 01:05:19,760
Speaker 4: I just got emotional. She so yesterday was the National

1187
01:05:19,880 --> 01:05:23,960
Speaker 4: shovet Day and I forgot to film myself doing this trick.

1188
01:05:24,120 --> 01:05:26,760
Speaker 4: But yeah, she was really neat lady.

1189
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 3: Yes, she was like.

1190
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:32,200
Speaker 4: Learning to skateboard later later in life as a cancer person,

1191
01:05:32,280 --> 01:05:35,000
Speaker 4: you know, a cancer person, but maybe I.

1192
01:05:35,080 --> 01:05:37,040
Speaker 3: Have I have hope to learn to skateboard.

1193
01:05:37,120 --> 01:05:40,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it was really hopeful. Everyone jumped like it

1194
01:05:40,560 --> 01:05:43,400
Speaker 4: was it was everyone loved this woman.

1195
01:05:43,640 --> 01:05:45,720
Speaker 3: Well, then it sounds like maybe there's some maybe this

1196
01:05:45,800 --> 01:05:47,520
Speaker 3: grandma can learn to skateboard, or you.

1197
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:49,760
Speaker 4: Know, just get some padded shorts. That's what I wear

1198
01:05:50,760 --> 01:05:53,120
Speaker 4: because I don't want to land on my metal hip.

1199
01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:56,120
Speaker 4: It hurts real bad, So I wear these padded shorts

1200
01:05:56,200 --> 01:05:56,960
Speaker 4: under my pants.

1201
01:05:57,240 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 3: Right, And if skateboarding is too much, maybe it's time

1202
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:04,480
Speaker 3: to pick her up a copy of Tony Hawk's pro Skater.

1203
01:06:04,560 --> 01:06:07,160
Speaker 4: Right, you very you're very right. You know there's a

1204
01:06:07,200 --> 01:06:09,800
Speaker 4: new one out. Oh, we're not released. Get the The

1205
01:06:09,880 --> 01:06:12,400
Speaker 4: graphics are insane. Yeah.

1206
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,160
Speaker 3: Get this woman in a PlayStation and a copy. I

1207
01:06:15,160 --> 01:06:18,920
Speaker 3: feel like she's this It feels like she will be

1208
01:06:18,960 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 3: doing new things until the day she joins her boyfriend

1209
01:06:22,120 --> 01:06:25,520
Speaker 3: and her ex husband or former husband. Let's get her

1210
01:06:25,560 --> 01:06:28,560
Speaker 3: playing Tony Hawk's pro Skater and you know, racking up combos.

1211
01:06:28,880 --> 01:06:32,240
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean, you don't want to her traveling.

1212
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:36,280
Speaker 4: It's at her age, it's otherwise, you know. Maybe let's

1213
01:06:36,280 --> 01:06:39,000
Speaker 4: get her a trip to Paris and then a copy

1214
01:06:39,000 --> 01:06:41,240
Speaker 4: of Tony Hawk's pro Skater, the reissue.

1215
01:06:41,320 --> 01:06:44,560
Speaker 3: It's the ideal grandma gift. Yeah, this is why we

1216
01:06:44,560 --> 01:06:49,520
Speaker 3: should all be getting our grandma's Okay, anna, trip to Paris.

1217
01:06:49,720 --> 01:06:52,720
Speaker 3: She's got Tony Hawk's pro Skater. She's having the time

1218
01:06:52,760 --> 01:06:58,000
Speaker 3: of her life. She's fourteen again. Go ahead and get

1219
01:06:58,000 --> 01:07:00,320
Speaker 3: her that. Don't even think about any other option. That's

1220
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,560
Speaker 3: what you've got to get her. Throw in a teal

1221
01:07:02,600 --> 01:07:06,800
Speaker 3: bookmark and maybe some cologne. It's time for grandma to

1222
01:07:06,800 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 3: start wearing cologne. Well, I think that we've answered as usual,

1223
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 3: have absolutely nailed the gift recommendations for these people. No

1224
01:07:16,800 --> 01:07:19,840
Speaker 3: one can even begin to complain, even imagine to complain

1225
01:07:19,840 --> 01:07:22,760
Speaker 3: that this advice is not good. This is excellent advice

1226
01:07:22,800 --> 01:07:27,200
Speaker 3: coming from two people who know gift giving. Yep, Chris,

1227
01:07:27,360 --> 01:07:32,600
Speaker 3: it's been absolutely so wonderful having you here. It's lovely

1228
01:07:32,640 --> 01:07:35,080
Speaker 3: to see you. And now I have this new thing

1229
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:38,800
Speaker 3: to add to my personality, which is being someone who

1230
01:07:38,840 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 3: wears cologne. I know, an experiment.

1231
01:07:42,520 --> 01:07:44,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I want to get some for myself too,

1232
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:46,480
Speaker 4: and then become Colone people.

1233
01:07:46,800 --> 01:07:49,840
Speaker 3: Yes, I think it's time we become real. We get

1234
01:07:49,880 --> 01:07:54,479
Speaker 3: some tracksuits and to start wearing tons of cologne. Well,

1235
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:56,840
Speaker 3: the next time that we see each other in person

1236
01:07:56,880 --> 01:07:59,160
Speaker 3: will hopefully we'll be able to give each other a hug.

1237
01:07:59,200 --> 01:08:00,560
Speaker 3: And there's going to be a moment where you're going

1238
01:08:00,600 --> 01:08:05,080
Speaker 3: to say, that's the cologne Bridgers got the cologne on

1239
01:08:05,360 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 3: he didn't forget, And it's going to be thrilling. It's

1240
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:11,720
Speaker 3: gonna be a whole new world and I can't wait

1241
01:08:11,760 --> 01:08:12,280
Speaker 3: for the day.

1242
01:08:12,560 --> 01:08:15,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you'll know, you'll know that hug's coming because

1243
01:08:15,600 --> 01:08:17,120
Speaker 4: you'll smell me around the corner.

1244
01:08:18,680 --> 01:08:22,639
Speaker 3: It's gonna be like a pepe leapew style scent floating

1245
01:08:22,680 --> 01:08:28,800
Speaker 3: through the air. Well, thank you so much for being here.

1246
01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:30,080
Speaker 3: It's been a delight.

1247
01:08:30,120 --> 01:08:32,200
Speaker 4: And yeah, so much fun. Good to see you too.

1248
01:08:32,680 --> 01:08:34,760
Speaker 3: Yeah. Hopefully we'll be able to see each other in

1249
01:08:34,760 --> 01:08:38,240
Speaker 3: person at some point in the next fifty years.

1250
01:08:38,600 --> 01:08:42,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, like at a party or a rather human gathering.

1251
01:08:42,160 --> 01:08:44,559
Speaker 3: Sitting next to each other in a movie, or maybe

1252
01:08:44,760 --> 01:08:46,679
Speaker 3: you see me at a skate park and I've learned

1253
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:47,200
Speaker 3: a skill.

1254
01:08:47,680 --> 01:08:48,439
Speaker 4: Oh, I'd love it.

1255
01:08:48,880 --> 01:08:52,520
Speaker 3: You never know. Well, that's the end of the show. Everybody,

1256
01:08:52,560 --> 01:08:55,280
Speaker 3: thank you for listening, and thank you to Chris, and

1257
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:59,479
Speaker 3: let's all go, you know, enjoy ourselves. Let's have a

1258
01:08:59,560 --> 01:09:02,559
Speaker 3: nice rest of our day. Goodbye. I Said No Gifts

1259
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:06,759
Speaker 3: isn't exactly right production. It's engineered by Earth Angel Stephen

1260
01:09:06,840 --> 01:09:10,120
Speaker 3: Ray Morris. The theme song is by miracle Worker Amy Mann.

1261
01:09:10,560 --> 01:09:13,160
Speaker 3: You can follow the show on Instagram and Twitter at

1262
01:09:13,240 --> 01:09:15,880
Speaker 3: I Said No Gifts and if you have a question

1263
01:09:16,240 --> 01:09:18,800
Speaker 3: or need help getting a gift for someone in your life,

1264
01:09:19,280 --> 01:09:23,080
Speaker 3: email me at I Said No Gifts at gmail dot com.

1265
01:09:23,080 --> 01:09:26,880
Speaker 3: Listen and subscribe on Apple podcast, Stitcher, or wherever you

1266
01:09:27,000 --> 01:09:29,400
Speaker 3: found me and why not leave a review while you're

1267
01:09:29,439 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 3: at it?

1268
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:38,839
Speaker 1: Helloe, why did you hear? Funa man myself perfectly clear,

1269
01:09:40,120 --> 01:09:45,360
Speaker 1: But you're a guest to me. You gotta come to

1270
01:09:45,520 --> 01:09:52,920
Speaker 1: me empty, and I said, no guests, your presences, presents, and.

1271
01:09:54,400 --> 01:10:00,120
Speaker 2: I'm already too much stuff. So how do you dad? Do?

1272
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:06,280
Speaker 1: They means bo