Speaker 1: I want to love seeing goddamn right, who doesn't want
Speaker 1: to make out on TV? It's pretty cool. I mean,
Speaker 1: while titty is still up in the end, you know, right,
Speaker 1: let me make out while my titties are fresh. They're
Speaker 1: gonna soil eventually. I'd like it on wax as evidence
Speaker 1: so I could show my kids later. You see them
Speaker 1: titties like I wouldn't said back in the day. I
Speaker 1: know you don't like talking about your mama's titties, but
Speaker 1: I'm gonna show you. I need you to see him
Speaker 1: just so you respect me. Goddamn it, boys, gather round
Speaker 1: something to share with you. Everyone around the fireplace. I
Speaker 1: have a big announcement that your daddy ever tell you
Speaker 1: about this? Why chips racist? She's turning stuff I can't
Speaker 1: tell me. Yeah, there it is. There it is, Ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, here we are welcome to another phenomenal, devastating,
Speaker 1: thick booty episode of My Mama Told Me, the podcast
Speaker 1: where we dive deep into the pockets of black conspiracy
Speaker 1: theories and we finally start that go fund me to
Speaker 1: recollect iced teas Ponytail. The man ain't been the same
Speaker 1: since they took his ponytail from him. We got to
Speaker 1: get that ponytail back by all means, by any coast,
Speaker 1: we will get iced tea back his ponytail. I am
Speaker 1: your host, lakes Nick Herman. I am excited to be here.
Speaker 1: It is hot in my house. I ain't wearing no sleeves.
Speaker 1: We're getting it popping today. And my guest today apparently
Speaker 1: she's not wearing no shirt, which is very exciting for
Speaker 1: everyone involved. It's an audio podcast, but now you get
Speaker 1: to use your imagination, which is very fun. She's hilarious.
Speaker 1: She's just so fucking funny. You know from Netflix, you
Speaker 1: know from Black Monday. She's just hilarious. I'm a big fan.
Speaker 1: Give it up from my guest today, Miss Janelle James.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I haven't felt applause and so long again
Speaker 1: one more time. I got It's nice, right, Yeah, you
Speaker 1: haven't done any of the you know, the outdoor shows.
Speaker 1: You haven't gone and ventured out. Two days ago it
Speaker 1: was my first one with Chelsea Handler. But it was
Speaker 1: such ah, it was such a huge ordeal and uh
Speaker 1: that I'm not sure. I'm still trying to figure out
Speaker 1: if I enjoyed it or not. It was so stressful.
Speaker 1: First show in five months. That weird thing of like
Speaker 1: you're not comfortable doing your art the way that you
Speaker 1: used to do your art. Tacked on top of the
Speaker 1: fact that like you're putting couzies on top of your
Speaker 1: microphone from spreading germs, it's all very well, that's not
Speaker 1: even half of it. It was a shoot, not just
Speaker 1: a show. So it's a sad rules and it is
Speaker 1: intense so to you know, sanitize and audience and mask
Speaker 1: and isolation, and it's just like, yo, is this fun?
Speaker 1: Just worth it? Yeah? I mean I got paid. I
Speaker 1: was like, I had told myself I wasn't gonna come
Speaker 1: venture out unless it's for a good amount of money.
Speaker 1: So they got me on that. But then I was
Speaker 1: just like, yo, this is this is crazy. I don't
Speaker 1: know if the money Now I'm like, I don't know
Speaker 1: if the money was right. It was so much, it
Speaker 1: was so much to deal with. So yeah, I feel
Speaker 1: like after a certain point of success, we're all asking ourselves, like,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I had planned on hitting there so quickly,
Speaker 1: you know. So I once did a commercial where I
Speaker 1: dressed up like a giant piece of checks mix, and uh,
Speaker 1: I hit that prettier only in my career. I remember that.
Speaker 1: It's not a fond memory. I'm not brand commercial. Uh nope.
Speaker 1: Oh well okay. And it was the internet. It was
Speaker 1: like weird no websites only no, no, not even in
Speaker 1: residual checks to take the edge off your regret to
Speaker 1: be a whore. You know, we all do. The point
Speaker 1: is we all make choices exactly. Well, I'm really excited
Speaker 1: you're here today because you came with a conspiracy theory
Speaker 1: that has been very near and dear to my heart
Speaker 1: for quite a while. And after some deliberating, we deliberated
Speaker 1: a little bit, but you can. I want to make
Speaker 1: sure we get this correct. You said. My mama told
Speaker 1: me black men with bad haircuts are perceived as safer
Speaker 1: in the eyes of white America. Is it a conspiracy
Speaker 1: if it's true. Yeah, but that's what they say. I've
Speaker 1: heard it before, and I love that you picked it.
Speaker 1: Tell me where this comes from for you, well, my
Speaker 1: mama first, but also I think it perpetuates through Hollywood.
Speaker 1: Anytime the good guy steps on the scene, that hairline
Speaker 1: is is all the way funked up, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And so I think it's so almost anti
Speaker 1: black to be walking around with your head oh messed up.
Speaker 1: That It's like you gotta be working on the other side,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, or trying to not working
Speaker 1: on the other side, but trying to present yourself is
Speaker 1: differently then, right, So you're saying that to some extent,
Speaker 1: this is like the men or the people involved in
Speaker 1: this consenting to a shitty hairline for the sake of
Speaker 1: like getting in good with Hollywood. It started as a
Speaker 1: conspiracy and people are now using it, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean, just my just my theory. I listen, there's
Speaker 1: no reason in the run from this. Let's dig deep
Speaker 1: and we all code switch. Some people here line switch,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You're trying to get trying
Speaker 1: to get exactly Exam James. Her voice on the phone
Speaker 1: calls some of y'all tell your barber a, don't touch that.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to get up to the VP spot. You know.
Speaker 1: So I got my I love that. Wait, your mother
Speaker 1: has this opinion, she shares this conspiracy theory. Now I
Speaker 1: was lying. I was just trying to go with just
Speaker 1: playing along. Good. Yeah, my mother, I'm from the Island,
Speaker 1: so we I don't know what our conspiracy theory. We
Speaker 1: just have a lot of sayings that are rooted in
Speaker 1: religion bullshit that I can Yeah, but this one is
Speaker 1: I picked because I've definitely no, it's a thing. Sure,
Speaker 1: let's start digging into examples, because I do feel like
Speaker 1: even for our white listeners, we have to imagine that
Speaker 1: some of them are even confused about what a good
Speaker 1: hairline is. Do you know what I mean? Like, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine that that half the time they even know
Speaker 1: when a black man has us. I would say, look
Speaker 1: at any recent upgrade on the NBA. You know it's
Speaker 1: an NBA that was looking a little different than they
Speaker 1: were a couple of years ago. That's the new version
Speaker 1: is the good hairline. That's that's Look at you trying
Speaker 1: to keep your money by not saying Lebron James, I
Speaker 1: was very professional of you. You're like, I have to
Speaker 1: dress as a Graham packer next to him in a
Speaker 1: commercial coming up. You don't know, you don't know he
Speaker 1: sometimes you know, might right be a check I'm gonna be,
Speaker 1: but you never know. When the individuals crossover into a
Speaker 1: comedic comedy or whatever, they always crossed the no. But
Speaker 1: I might have to meet this dude one day, you
Speaker 1: never know. But yeah, an Janelle James jam too. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, I wish anyway, don't we all? But I
Speaker 1: totally agree. I think that to some extent, Uh, there
Speaker 1: was a celebration of a lot of NBA or sort
Speaker 1: of big celebrity figures at the point that their hair
Speaker 1: looked shitty or is continuing to look shitty. Complicated, We'll sure. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna say, white people want to know
Speaker 1: what we're trying to achieve here as far as perfection,
Speaker 1: look to the ones that were paid for right there
Speaker 1: you go that look okay, look there, Well that's okay.
Speaker 1: Now you're explaining something. So so a old lebron is
Speaker 1: what we're fighting again, current lebron is what we are
Speaker 1: trying to achieve. I've said it. I've said it a
Speaker 1: few times in other places, but I genuinely believe that
Speaker 1: Jalen Rose made a deal with the devil to have
Speaker 1: the hairline that he has. It is magnificent. This dude up.
Speaker 1: Oh you don't know Jalen Rose. No, I'm not a
Speaker 1: big forceman ever exists. He's more famous for being an
Speaker 1: Indiana pacer and then getting uh, well he wasn't a
Speaker 1: pacer at the time, but he took eighty one points
Speaker 1: from Kobe. Kobe scored eighty one points on the man
Speaker 1: and now he's a commentator. And this is an example
Speaker 1: of a great heirline. It's what you're saying is fantastic. Oh.
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait a minute, what do you okay? I
Speaker 1: thought you were saying the opposite. I'm like, well, ship,
Speaker 1: what's the good one? If this is awful? This, yeah,
Speaker 1: this is pretty fucking perfect. It's the perfect airline. And
Speaker 1: I have to believe that he did something. He murdered
Speaker 1: an orphan to get it. Oh he forty seven with
Speaker 1: this strong ass headline something going on? Uh something at
Speaker 1: and I'm looking at a picture of his younger self
Speaker 1: and he had a low he had the almost a
Speaker 1: buzz cut. What's that? Like? What's the call when the
Speaker 1: five o'clock shadow on your ball fade? And the headline
Speaker 1: it's Chris listen, it's never moved, It's never in forty
Speaker 1: seven years. This is a conspiracy right here, Jalen roses him.
Speaker 1: That's all that ship. Wow, what blood did you drink
Speaker 1: to get that haircut to stay exactly where it is
Speaker 1: in forties seven years. Oh my goodness, I am amazing
Speaker 1: this conspiracy specifically, I think was presented under the guys
Speaker 1: of black men. But do you find that that also
Speaker 1: applies to women, that black women in Hollywood are forced
Speaker 1: to sort of consent too bad hair on ourselves, yeah,
Speaker 1: or just you know, white people sort of like wanting
Speaker 1: that look so well, you know, I definitely switch up,
Speaker 1: switch up the wigs depending on what I'm trying to
Speaker 1: go for it. You know, since the girl gets uh
Speaker 1: braids or you know, uh color, you know, corporate, corporate
Speaker 1: lady gets gets the wig, you know, the straight relaxed here,
Speaker 1: maybe a little fair or falset and fair little uh,
Speaker 1: what's it? A little scandal little carry Washington. That's kind
Speaker 1: of standard the last couple of years. I got you.
Speaker 1: So you think the sisters in general are getting a
Speaker 1: little more grace when it comes to their hair, that
Speaker 1: they're having more options to choose. I don't know. In Hollywood,
Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know if it's grace. We're all
Speaker 1: also constantly trying to figure out what hairstyle is least
Speaker 1: scary to white people, or or or just the right
Speaker 1: enough black that they're like, Okay, we got a black
Speaker 1: person but not too black that she's gonna call us
Speaker 1: on our ship. Right, if you twist that all the
Speaker 1: way to the scout that you're gonna cause some problems,
Speaker 1: it's gonna be tighter or you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: she's not gonna like my jokes and ship, you know,
Speaker 1: so that's fair. I think what's fascinating in this conspiracy theory,
Speaker 1: or certainly has so much to explore in this conspiracy theory,
Speaker 1: is what the intention of the sort of white Hollywood
Speaker 1: is in controlling black hair. Do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 1: what what's your goal here? What is what are you
Speaker 1: ultimately trying to achieve in your control of black hair,
Speaker 1: well diversity without being too diverse? Mm hmmm without without
Speaker 1: I don't know what's scary to h I mean, there's
Speaker 1: pretty conceived notions about different types of hairstyles. So if
Speaker 1: you got dreads, you're radical, or you smoke weed, or
Speaker 1: you know, if you're natural, maybe you in the front
Speaker 1: of the Black Lives Matter protests or whatever they think,
Speaker 1: which isn't necessarily true, but in Hollywood don't really move quickly.
Speaker 1: So the same stereotypes they had in the eighties are
Speaker 1: the same one they judging us by. Now you know,
Speaker 1: I changed my hair every five seconds, so whoever, who
Speaker 1: am I? But you know, I'm sure you show up
Speaker 1: to work and they're like, that's a new lady girl,
Speaker 1: so fast it was you had a bob yesterday and
Speaker 1: it's down to your Black people are amazing black girl magic. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I think you're making a very valid point that so
Speaker 1: much of this is rooted in like antiquated stereotypes, right that,
Speaker 1: like what white people were scared of in nineties six
Speaker 1: about black associations and hairstyles is still the exact same
Speaker 1: thing that they're pretty much afraid of today. I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, outside of Hollywood, it's still true that white
Speaker 1: people don't have many encounters with black people, so they
Speaker 1: still everything they believe is still what's on TV or
Speaker 1: what they saw back then, and then I don't think
Speaker 1: they until recently even went out of their way to
Speaker 1: see us, So it's just what they happened to see
Speaker 1: in a movie with a black person one time. You know,
Speaker 1: they're not necessarily seeking out black entertainment. Always say that
Speaker 1: this what's happening now with diversity and always having to
Speaker 1: include a black person or one of each and all
Speaker 1: of that, I don't know. Sure, I'm happy for the work,
Speaker 1: but I don't know if that makes better products. And
Speaker 1: it's not realistic because a lot of white people they
Speaker 1: hang out with people that look like them. It's it's yeah,
Speaker 1: I hate when I'm watching a white production and then
Speaker 1: here it comes as black dude, Like yo, what like
Speaker 1: they would never be friends? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: And you don't have to trick me. You don't have
Speaker 1: to wedge this person in here because you feel bad
Speaker 1: about not casting someone, Like like writing the story with
Speaker 1: a black person in it just right. You write the
Speaker 1: story you know how to write, and hopefully the story
Speaker 1: you know how to write includes black people. But it
Speaker 1: shouldn't just be you turn this into a black character
Speaker 1: for a reason. And what would happen in the eighties
Speaker 1: is not eighties. In the nineties with the black guy
Speaker 1: that would show up with the hey what up would
Speaker 1: always have a blacks haircut, would always have a wack haircut.
Speaker 1: And I think that's just stuck right, And I think
Speaker 1: part of it is like you can't have the one
Speaker 1: dude show up who's like the best friend and he
Speaker 1: looks sexy and flexy. You tried to show up and
Speaker 1: look like average and something that can fade into the background.
Speaker 1: We don't need this mother. Well. Also, I think just
Speaker 1: from experience, dudes, black dudes, who's walking around with them
Speaker 1: type of head cuts? Grew up around white people. They're
Speaker 1: going up, what's the what's supercut? Super cut? Exactly? They
Speaker 1: and you know, letting barb cut here or whatever. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've lived in the neighborhoods like that. Wh there's no
Speaker 1: black barbershop where else you're gonna go, you know. So
Speaker 1: uh as a as a I've only been a victim once,
Speaker 1: but as a former victim of super cuts, I can
Speaker 1: say I can say that it's never going to turn
Speaker 1: out to be the experience you wanted to be. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't imagine why you would think that, but you know,
Speaker 1: when you're a boy growing up in the suburbs, you
Speaker 1: get desperate. You start to think, like, I want to
Speaker 1: look good. Maybe this this white lady can help me out.
Speaker 1: I've done my kids old school where I just went
Speaker 1: on some YouTube beds and said, let me figure out
Speaker 1: how to cut this ship, because I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: at a certain point, my mom was cutting my hair,
Speaker 1: and she wasn't good at it, and YouTube didn't exist,
Speaker 1: so it was like she's just like making some ship
Speaker 1: up and it wasn't helping. And then I thought like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be a big boy and independent and try
Speaker 1: this on my own. And you know, you you funk up.
Speaker 1: But so did they cut your hair with the scissors?
Speaker 1: Of course, that's that's where they start. And then you
Speaker 1: walk out You're like, okay, line me up, and then
Speaker 1: you got bangs. For some reason, it's just you know,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's the writer passage from black people here,
Speaker 1: Like I've definitely sat down in a white woman's chair,
Speaker 1: Like actually that just happened to me on sat where
Speaker 1: it's so funny because because of YouTube. This is off topic,
Speaker 1: but because of YouTube, and I appreciate it. You know,
Speaker 1: there's the white hair solids are trying to learn about
Speaker 1: black hair more. And this woman was so proud of
Speaker 1: having some edge control gel like she pulled it out,
Speaker 1: Like before she pulled it out, her face was beaming.
Speaker 1: I was like, what was she about to pull out?
Speaker 1: Because she was like, I'm about to fucking blow this
Speaker 1: chick's mind, like and she pulled out this edge control
Speaker 1: and brush, and she's like, should I do your edges?
Speaker 1: And I just she couldn't wait to say that, you know,
Speaker 1: she was up all night and look how nice I am.
Speaker 1: I said, sure, I ain't need a head that ship.
Speaker 1: But I was like, you look so excited to crack
Speaker 1: up and it was fresh, not one fingerprinting that ship.
Speaker 1: I was the first. She killed it, no meaning when
Speaker 1: she opened the gael, I was obviously the first. She
Speaker 1: hadn't even put her finger in it yet it was
Speaker 1: a fresh move surface. I was the first edges she
Speaker 1: had ever brushed down. She was cracking the seal on
Speaker 1: this edge control jel exactly. She was waiting for you
Speaker 1: and and to your point, that's very nice that she tried.
Speaker 1: But whatever. The more wanted alternative is that they left
Speaker 1: black people into the unions for her styling on sets.
Speaker 1: But anyway, so that would be so ideal, I too
Speaker 1: have had some horrifying that stories where it's just like
Speaker 1: you show up and they don't have a black barber,
Speaker 1: and if they do, it's not really a black barber.
Speaker 1: It's just like somebody who qualifies as being able to
Speaker 1: do ethnic hair, which doesn't mean anything. It's like you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, goddamn thing, black hair, That's what
Speaker 1: I want. Do you know how to be a nigga
Speaker 1: and a barbershop? Can you cut my hair while you
Speaker 1: tell me about you cheating on your wife? The kind
Speaker 1: of energy I need to get a solid hair, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So that brings us back
Speaker 1: to our conspiracy and that I think part of the
Speaker 1: reason black dudes with horrible haircuts are more palatable and
Speaker 1: safer to white people is that they know that they're
Speaker 1: not experiencing the indoctricate nation or what it is, the
Speaker 1: indoctor nation of black barbershops. Who knows what they think
Speaker 1: it's happening in there. Probably they think we in there
Speaker 1: getting radical make plans with each other. WHOA wait, I'm
Speaker 1: must Let's take a step back. I really thought about this.
Speaker 1: You might have just you might have just cracked open
Speaker 1: something that I need you to really explore this. This
Speaker 1: brings me to a section of the show that I
Speaker 1: like to call talk that talk, and what you're suggesting
Speaker 1: is groundbreaking in a way that I never expected. So, Janelle,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give you thirty seconds, thirty seconds to just
Speaker 1: break down exactly what you mean about this potential indoctrination
Speaker 1: from the black barbershop. Whenever you're ready, I'm ready. So
Speaker 1: I think black barbershops is one of the few spaces
Speaker 1: that white people have not gentrified, and so they don't
Speaker 1: know what the fund is happening in there, and usually
Speaker 1: just based on behaviors that and things that are happening
Speaker 1: and have always happened, they for whatever reason, having their
Speaker 1: head that anytime we're left to our own devices, that
Speaker 1: we're plotting against them. So if you're in a barbershop
Speaker 1: with the fresh fade oh and don't have a fresh
Speaker 1: line up all the time, I mean you and this
Speaker 1: so much who knows what you're there? Are scary, scared
Speaker 1: of the unknown, which is is the basis for a
Speaker 1: lot of basing. There is oh man, that okay, compute now,
Speaker 1: okay that oh now you crack something open, because I
Speaker 1: think that's exactly right. I think there's this constant fear
Speaker 1: of what we're doing without them, and so they are
Speaker 1: essentially making us get our haircut by white people or
Speaker 1: by sort of like their insiders, so that they can
Speaker 1: avoid the risk that we're constantly treading in this space
Speaker 1: that they're afraid to enter. On their own, and then
Speaker 1: there's a constant risk that maybe if I'm alone with
Speaker 1: my barber, I'm gonna be planning some sort of like
Speaker 1: terrorist attack against the the white community who by a
Speaker 1: dude who has bad opinions about like women and Lebron
Speaker 1: Like I don't. It doesn't have to be all that well,
Speaker 1: you know, I found that white people think we think
Speaker 1: about their way more than we do, So that's what
Speaker 1: I think is happening. Uh, honestly, this changed everything for
Speaker 1: me and I I've got more reading to do because
Speaker 1: this is powerful. All Right, We're gonna take a break
Speaker 1: and then we're gonna be back with more Janelle James
Speaker 1: and more, my mama told me. And we are bad anyway. Yeah,
Speaker 1: We're back here with more Janelle James and more. My
Speaker 1: mama told me. We're still talking about those trash gass
Speaker 1: hairlines that Hollywood approves and allows people to excel in
Speaker 1: their careers based on the fucked up linings that they
Speaker 1: put out in the world. Do you think this extends
Speaker 1: beyond Hollywood? Do you think that this goes into other
Speaker 1: spaces of six? Yeah, I mean every big purchase I've
Speaker 1: ever made that was from a black man was with
Speaker 1: a dude with a hairline. My car, my house is
Speaker 1: always a guy, come on back, got the papers for you?
Speaker 1: That those only people that they let get the papers,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? So I ain't never bought
Speaker 1: nothing expensive from a sharp airline, right. I started thinking
Speaker 1: about it in terms of like politicians, right, even beyond politics,
Speaker 1: like he sort of like massive figures in history, Barack
Speaker 1: Obama not that great of a hairline, Martin Luther King Jr.
Speaker 1: Ain't nobody talking about that faith Nelson Mandela? Do you
Speaker 1: think they would let him be Nelson Mandela if he
Speaker 1: didn't have that slick back afro? Do you you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? Like I will say stuff. I will say
Speaker 1: Barack just like his of takes really walk the line
Speaker 1: of his hairline, Like he has a hairline, but he
Speaker 1: ain't too sharp, you know what. He's laughing to laugh
Speaker 1: like that's his that's his play. That's exactly right. And
Speaker 1: we're not gonna you know that, we're not gonna roast him.
Speaker 1: But then white people are like, Okay, well it's fuzzy,
Speaker 1: it's funny. Sometimes he was like, hey, line me up,
Speaker 1: but don't you hit them corners there? Hit them corners.
Speaker 1: You leave them corners, so exactly, I can't afford for
Speaker 1: these motherfucker's to get uncomfortable with my corners. I feel
Speaker 1: like that's how he lives life right in the middle,
Speaker 1: right middle real by Raciel oh Man. That hurts my feelings.
Speaker 1: I have some research that I love to unpack with you,
Speaker 1: because I do think that there's a lot of legitimacy
Speaker 1: to this conspiracy theory. One of the things that I found,
Speaker 1: one of the as we were measuring success, I guess
Speaker 1: the easiest sort of like a measure of success or
Speaker 1: clearest measure of success, was to go to the Forbes
Speaker 1: list of billionaires, right, And of the two thousand, one
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty three people listed on the Forbes list
Speaker 1: of billionaires last year, that's saying that, no, you're right,
Speaker 1: hundred people are billionaires. That doesn't even make sense. But
Speaker 1: go ahead. So I'm sorry, and we're out here starving
Speaker 1: and freezing, and by we, I mean y'all. I'm fine.
Speaker 1: But the point is, oh, it's coming for us. It
Speaker 1: is I'm not I'm not far enough into any game
Speaker 1: to get to be exactly from this exactly, But so
Speaker 1: of the people, thirteen of them are black in the world.
Speaker 1: Of those thirteen, that's another I'm surprised. Oh, it's more
Speaker 1: than you expect, more than I thought. I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: think they would let that many of us get there,
Speaker 1: for sure. Yeah, they let thirteens slip through. And of
Speaker 1: those thirteen, all thirteen of them are black men with
Speaker 1: trash hairlines or that's the that's the breakdown. I think
Speaker 1: there's another lady in there, but that's not the way
Speaker 1: the bits go. And every single one of them, I'll
Speaker 1: read you something. Some of them are concrete tycoons and
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan's and uh yeah, I'm looking now, these are dudes.
Speaker 1: They just put on the number five guard and go
Speaker 1: straight back. Just run this through. I'm gonna just run
Speaker 1: this through like a comb just straight back. Hey man,
Speaker 1: hit me with that lawnmower and keep it moving. Time
Speaker 1: I have to go shut down an orphanage room. Take
Speaker 1: the perimeter, just take it down to take the shrubbery.
Speaker 1: You know, I think to your point, there's not a
Speaker 1: lot of evidence of like a dude at the highest
Speaker 1: level of at least certainly like financial success. Right that
Speaker 1: looks like he goes to a black barbershop. I'm telling you,
Speaker 1: it's all around the barbershop. These dudes are not known.
Speaker 1: I mean, you're a billionaire. First of all, you have
Speaker 1: your own barber, but this you ain't in the shop
Speaker 1: getting indoctuated, being around other brothers. You're already a billionaire,
Speaker 1: so you're already a black billionaire. So you're already isolated.
Speaker 1: So your only careers of other white people, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. You can't be in there with the
Speaker 1: waves and a wave cap, like get out of here.
Speaker 1: And at that point, who are you doing it for? Right? Like, if,
Speaker 1: like you said, if my peers are all white people
Speaker 1: who gives the fun straight hair line, they can't tell
Speaker 1: the difference. Now, I will say I was surprised that
Speaker 1: jay Z went locks after billionaire. That's almost like a
Speaker 1: little fuck you if you think about it. I mean,
Speaker 1: jay Z wasn't known for his hair to begin with.
Speaker 1: True that, true that, But he's gone like in a
Speaker 1: real wacky way right now that you know I was
Speaker 1: surprised about. I almost jay Z is a fascinating one though,
Speaker 1: because I do you think he's almost playing both sides right,
Speaker 1: because you see this dude who now, like you said,
Speaker 1: he sort of has like this afro lock sort of
Speaker 1: look now, which makes him very like connected to Africa
Speaker 1: and blackness and all this other stuff, while simultaneously having
Speaker 1: a hairstyle that you see on like Cheerios commercials, do
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Like they put like a
Speaker 1: curly haired black man in the Cheerios commercial and make him,
Speaker 1: uh say, how yummy honey is on his oaks? And
Speaker 1: I knew jay Z crossed over when he I saw
Speaker 1: footage of him. I think it was he was at
Speaker 1: a basketball game with Beyonce and the story was about
Speaker 1: how they must have had an argument because Beyonce had
Speaker 1: a bad look on her face or something. But what
Speaker 1: I noticed was at one point, jay Z spots another
Speaker 1: I can only assume super rich friend across the way,
Speaker 1: and he waved at them in his hands straight out
Speaker 1: and just did the fingers. That's that's I was like,
Speaker 1: that's not Brooklyn, Blyn, Jason. Jay Z is waving like
Speaker 1: to the lou Yes, a real fucking Samantha asked, wiggle
Speaker 1: figure a real see you at the tennis courts tomorrow
Speaker 1: type wave, and I was like, oh, they got him.
Speaker 1: So so that's what makes the hair confusing because he
Speaker 1: is definitely playing both sides. I mean, I don't think
Speaker 1: he I think jay Z is a smart enough dude
Speaker 1: to be aware that life. All right. I can't be
Speaker 1: a trash hairline guy, but I can be sort of
Speaker 1: like this weird acartistic going in. I collect paintings now technia. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I get it, yep, I love this. And there's so
Speaker 1: many other great examples of people who have reached sort
Speaker 1: of like a weird peak with like terrible hairlines. Tiger
Speaker 1: Woods is a great example. But he did he have
Speaker 1: a claim us. I don't think that Tiger ever said
Speaker 1: he was what me had a black daddy. It's hard
Speaker 1: not to that was his best friend. I don't think
Speaker 1: that he wanted to, but right, I mean, I ain't
Speaker 1: pushing black on nobody don't want it. So that's why
Speaker 1: you ain't you only trying to say, be proud about it,
Speaker 1: that I don't want you. But I just don't remember
Speaker 1: him ever saying that he's black. So he had a
Speaker 1: headline fall like it. That's fair. I'm gonna read you
Speaker 1: a quote claim him. You're not with me no more time.
Speaker 1: I'm not gay, no more Tiger? You something else? Right,
Speaker 1: He's his own category, which is fine. So this has
Speaker 1: been an ongoing issue, so much so that in Hollywood
Speaker 1: Reporter wrote an article called Hollywood's black hair problem on
Speaker 1: set We've all cried in our trailers, which basically chronicles
Speaker 1: like sort of and it's primarily women, but it chronicles
Speaker 1: the exactly what you were talking about, Yes, black women
Speaker 1: sort of being cast and then not having hairstylists on
Speaker 1: the other side to show up already done exactly, And
Speaker 1: that's one of the things that people say. In the article,
Speaker 1: Natasha Rothwell talks a lot about how she has to
Speaker 1: wake up an hour early from the time she would
Speaker 1: have normally woke up just so she could do her hair,
Speaker 1: show up on set and not let them like do
Speaker 1: something way worse to it. Again, off topic, because this
Speaker 1: is about male hellines, but this also goes to white
Speaker 1: people not being around us. They don't even know what
Speaker 1: our hair is supposed to look like. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, I've purposely showed up on set looking fucked,
Speaker 1: Like if I walked into a black room, y'all would
Speaker 1: be like, what the fun I've purposely gone on set
Speaker 1: and being like, no, I'm good and have the hair
Speaker 1: stylist look at me and like you look great, Like
Speaker 1: they have no idea. Yeah, they're like, okay, I have
Speaker 1: to be like, no, I'm joking. I just woke up.
Speaker 1: Then they're like, oh, because they just don't know. Oh
Speaker 1: thank god, I hated what I saw, but I didn't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: not even that they hated that. They just don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they just don't know. I don't like the Oh, if
Speaker 1: you don't have any black friends, you not that, because
Speaker 1: there's many places in America where you can walk around
Speaker 1: for days and not see one of us, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. So, but once you get up into
Speaker 1: Hollywood and you and we're on set, these are things
Speaker 1: we have to even have someone who knows for they
Speaker 1: have to be trained. They're not training them to do
Speaker 1: our hair, which means that this is an industry that
Speaker 1: was set up with no thought of us ever being
Speaker 1: in it, right, you know, I think that's exactly right.
Speaker 1: And this is where it gets even more fascinating for me,
Speaker 1: is that this conversation extends well beyond the industry, right that, Like,
Speaker 1: there's so many different examples of sort of this war
Speaker 1: on black hair in other spaces. For example, a student
Speaker 1: is sent home from Christ the King Elementary School in Terrytown, Louisiana,
Speaker 1: because she's wearing box braids. They basically just decide box
Speaker 1: braids are wrong. For a different time in two thousand
Speaker 1: and eighteen, where a six year old a six year
Speaker 1: old is sent home band from school because he has locks,
Speaker 1: and the principal like justifies this as being a rule
Speaker 1: that's been in the schools like doctrine since nineteen seventy one,
Speaker 1: and he's like, dude, I'm the first black person hit right, right,
Speaker 1: I never it's a racial band. You're just asking it
Speaker 1: under a protective hairstyle, right. And this is also again,
Speaker 1: this is fair of the unknown. They don't know what
Speaker 1: these hairstyles means. It makes them uncomfortable. It's not they're
Speaker 1: not around it. They don't. It's too different, it's too black,
Speaker 1: and it reminds them that we exists. Basically, yes, and
Speaker 1: to your earlier point, nineteen seventy one was when you
Speaker 1: established this rule, because you're basing it off of fears
Speaker 1: that existed in nine seven exactly, like, we're not even
Speaker 1: afraid of the same ship that we were afrash in
Speaker 1: nineteen seventy one. We were afraid that Russians were gonna
Speaker 1: knuke us through like weird satellites in the sky. Now
Speaker 1: we know they're gonna knoke us through like elections, elections
Speaker 1: and weird emails and Facebook messages, and it's a completely
Speaker 1: different world. And they're more of a poisoning kind of
Speaker 1: people rather than nukes. And now we're finding out, you know,
Speaker 1: that's their thing. We would see the bombs they do.
Speaker 1: They're more poison people, you know, correct yourself, yeah, update,
Speaker 1: But talking about I mean, this is also entertainment industry.
Speaker 1: But I feel like the patron saint of safe hairstyles.
Speaker 1: It's Bill Cosby, Bill Tosby and every dude that he
Speaker 1: had on that show. Yes, Elvin, Elvin's thirty campus, trash
Speaker 1: that hitcut, the dude in the military, Denise's husband, trash
Speaker 1: like that never had a sweet line up on them.
Speaker 1: If anyone of them girls showed up with a do
Speaker 1: rag nigga and lost his mind, yeah, I think that's
Speaker 1: now you're talking. Now you're really talking. Because THEO was
Speaker 1: about to go on a date wearing a Gordon Guard
Speaker 1: trail and had a trash lineup. He wouldn't even let
Speaker 1: thee have a real flat top it was like it
Speaker 1: was an afro that he panted into a flat. Uh,
Speaker 1: he shaped into a flat And I think Cosby knew
Speaker 1: the whole time. Cosby was the king of of sort
Speaker 1: of like respectability politics, and that man knew that if
Speaker 1: he had THEO looking too much like Jalen Rose, THEO
Speaker 1: was not an endearing character to his white audience exactly
Speaker 1: that it would have It would have been a special episode.
Speaker 1: THEO gets a line UPO gets a lineup and gets
Speaker 1: kicked out of the family. He like, you've been over
Speaker 1: to Flatbush. You know who cut your hair? Was like
Speaker 1: in a Clinton Hill or something, right, Yeah, he was
Speaker 1: like Brooklyn Heights. So that that episode, THEO went across
Speaker 1: the tracks, Tosh or whatever. It got a haircut, and
Speaker 1: now the whole family got to do a dance to
Speaker 1: convince him to come back. THEO took the two train
Speaker 1: too far, and now we don't know if we s anymore, right,
Speaker 1: all right? So in two thousand nineteen, and this is interesting,
Speaker 1: Corey Booker into another trash hairline. Uh. Corey Booker introduced
Speaker 1: the Crown Act, which is an act meant to protect
Speaker 1: against discrimination based on hair, specifically for black people with
Speaker 1: tightly coiled or protective styles. Uh, And it's only been
Speaker 1: accepted since two thousand nineteen in three states California, New York,
Speaker 1: and New Jersey. Everybody else can still fire you or
Speaker 1: keep you from a school based on your hair if
Speaker 1: they want to. And let me tell you that this
Speaker 1: was a conscious choice. But this is why comedy has
Speaker 1: been such a relief for me, because I've had corporate
Speaker 1: jobs and worked in offices, and I just cannot see
Speaker 1: me as myself as an adult, having other adults telling
Speaker 1: me what to do with my head. It's just it's
Speaker 1: so demeaning. It's so demeaning, it's so Uh. You take
Speaker 1: people's humanity, like become be this other thing in order
Speaker 1: to earn money for the job that you're doing. Right,
Speaker 1: take And I think that's such an important point because
Speaker 1: I think at the essence of what we're talking about
Speaker 1: is an ability to take away someone's confidence, right, the
Speaker 1: thing that makes them feel most themselves. Oftentimes we look
Speaker 1: exactly and so I do think to your earlier point,
Speaker 1: this is like an intentional want to damage our confidence
Speaker 1: and keep us in this place of emotional disarray force assimilation. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so either you look a little ashy, you look a
Speaker 1: little bummy, or you look your best, but you're not
Speaker 1: welcome in you know, whatever country. And also your best
Speaker 1: intimidates me. I don't like you looking better than me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll look better than a black man shined up, flinging charm.
Speaker 1: He's spinning your wife out at the company picnic and
Speaker 1: ship she giggling. Nobody wants that. Have come in here
Speaker 1: with this fun up line up and stop intimidating me.
Speaker 1: That's why I'm scared to put in the James bond.
Speaker 1: Come on, who do you want to follow him? They
Speaker 1: because they know that white tuxedo that's gonna look better
Speaker 1: on that chocolate skin than anybody. But Idris gets bond,
Speaker 1: his love interest is gonna be the blackest bitch on
Speaker 1: the planet. It's they will never let him. It just
Speaker 1: blows up the whole, just the whole theory that this
Speaker 1: is like the best thing if you make him bonded,
Speaker 1: so you have to keep him sort of, you know,
Speaker 1: they need him be loother. It's also it's him with
Speaker 1: a trans hairline. That's the only difference. I mean, he
Speaker 1: pulls it off. But anyway, all right, put your loins away,
Speaker 1: let's focus on the argument here we over there, let's
Speaker 1: forgot I ain't got no shirt on, and I forgot
Speaker 1: I bumped up on the table for a menu and
Speaker 1: got excited. My bad um. But in his British luthor, yeah,
Speaker 1: all his love interests are white women. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you know that, and his sidekicks are black women.
Speaker 1: I'm saying if they did a bond that was a
Speaker 1: US based production, they would not let him have a
Speaker 1: white love interest. I don't It wouldn't be alec wet
Speaker 1: or something like that you would have to have because
Speaker 1: part of it is again where the theory being that
Speaker 1: certain white people are still afraid of old uh stereotypes.
Speaker 1: The black buck that's coming to still your woman really
Speaker 1: does play into that. So right, my guesses is that
Speaker 1: if they make him the bond that he deserves to be,
Speaker 1: they're probably going to give him like some vaguely ethnically
Speaker 1: like sort of ambiguous woman, give him like a Preanka
Speaker 1: Chopra what I mean, and let that be his love
Speaker 1: interest that doesn't offend them as much as black women do.
Speaker 1: For whatever reason, the idea of black women having sex
Speaker 1: consensually is very upsetting to Hollywood. That's a whole other bagga. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: it gets sad at the end. I get that. All right,
Speaker 1: We're gonna take another break and we'll be back with
Speaker 1: more Janelle James and more of My mama told me
Speaker 1: we are back. I got bron guidance. Ain't nobody got
Speaker 1: time for that. We're back here with more. My mama
Speaker 1: told me more Janelle James. We have I think fully
Speaker 1: unpacked the possibility that this is all rooted in a
Speaker 1: fear of the black barbershop and really a fear of
Speaker 1: black revolution that they, the white people, think is coming
Speaker 1: out of the black barbershop. It's all scary and exciting.
Speaker 1: I love where we're headed. And you know, jokes on
Speaker 1: them because those heirlines, I mean, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: some undercover spoship. Okay, okay, I like where this is going.
Speaker 1: Tell me more. So you trust in the fun up headlines,
Speaker 1: but they know what they're doing to get up in
Speaker 1: your spaces. Yeah, you you fucked up my airline, but
Speaker 1: you didn't take my mind from me. Still connected to
Speaker 1: a comm I'm still working with a people. So yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: that's right. You made my hairline look like sharp teeth.
Speaker 1: But guess what, motherfucker. I'm gonna go report back everything
Speaker 1: I've learned on set or in this community or in
Speaker 1: this boardroom channel Barbershop Network. We gonna get you, motherfucker.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. All right, let's play a game. I
Speaker 1: have a fun game that I like to play. This
Speaker 1: game is called lies Ugly, You're disgusting. I'm gonna kill you.
Speaker 1: Give me two. This is white Lines. It's a it's
Speaker 1: a fun game where I will introduce to you, Janelle,
Speaker 1: a traditional white conspiracy, a very famous white conspiracy. And
Speaker 1: then I would like you to take the time to
Speaker 1: unpack that conspiracy, really break it all down. Why do
Speaker 1: you think white people care about this conspiracy so much?
Speaker 1: What are these sneaky motherfucker's up to? Yeah, but your
Speaker 1: goofy on, Uh, put on, light up your eyes, do
Speaker 1: whatever you gotta do to really to really open that
Speaker 1: third eye. And let's get into this. Have you ever
Speaker 1: heard of the conspiracy Paul is dead? No? Okay, so
Speaker 1: there is a conspiracy a claim that the Beatles member
Speaker 1: Paul McCartney in nineteen sixty six died in a car crash,
Speaker 1: and uh he was replaced by a man named Billy
Speaker 1: Shears who looked like him and then became the Paul
Speaker 1: McCartney we now know today. This has been spread over
Speaker 1: decades of Beatles, you know whatever conspiracies, and so much
Speaker 1: so that even in the cover of Abbey Road they
Speaker 1: claimed that Paul is wearing a suit that signifies him
Speaker 1: at his funeral and he has no shoes on as
Speaker 1: he's crossing Abbey Road, which I guess implies that he is.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Barefield get buried and you don't get
Speaker 1: buried in shot. Yeah, listen, I don't get what they're doing.
Speaker 1: But what I would love for you to do is
Speaker 1: explained to me. Why after decades of this conspiracy continuing,
Speaker 1: why it is so important that white people believe that
Speaker 1: Paul McCartney died in that car crash. That's a tough
Speaker 1: one because it makes absolutely no sense, But so they
Speaker 1: the conspiracy is that they want to believe that he's dead.
Speaker 1: Maybe they know that they've founded him and the Beatles,
Speaker 1: and you know, it's such bad because the Beatles were
Speaker 1: the Michael Jackson of their time, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: right right? They were the biggest, they were the baddest,
Speaker 1: they were all the things I would think a better
Speaker 1: conspiracy would be that he faked his death or something
Speaker 1: like that to get away from the limelight and he
Speaker 1: was tired of the of the business and then kind
Speaker 1: of like Tupac is in in on an island chilling, right, Okay,
Speaker 1: that Paul McCartney just wanted out from thee. I can't
Speaker 1: even wrap my mind around this conspiracy that he's dead
Speaker 1: and replaced for what for what purpose? Is are the
Speaker 1: Beatles still touring? Is he's still collecting right? Right at
Speaker 1: this point Paul McCartney just shows up on S and
Speaker 1: L every day. He was he murdered? Is that part
Speaker 1: of the conspiracy that well, it was that the car
Speaker 1: crash killed him on accident. It wasn't on purpose. And
Speaker 1: so instead of I think the hope or at least
Speaker 1: what they're suggest thing is that instead of losing the
Speaker 1: Beatles and their front man, right because him and Lennon
Speaker 1: were basically like they just they just happened to have
Speaker 1: a ringer just ready to jump in, just just ready
Speaker 1: at the ready, because they had already thought about this,
Speaker 1: like what if if fall dies, we're gonna who we're
Speaker 1: gonna have because we're blowing up right now and I
Speaker 1: can't suck this money up. So, like, I'm that's that
Speaker 1: is fun to believe that every famous artist has a
Speaker 1: double placement dude, that that the evil record company just
Speaker 1: has on standby, like y'all at about to sunk up
Speaker 1: this money. We now, we gotta finish this towards Billy.
Speaker 1: You up like you're saying Bruno Mars was in a
Speaker 1: plane crash. Well that's you, James. You gotta come on,
Speaker 1: you gotta go do your job. You see how fast
Speaker 1: they got Kevin Hard out of that car accident, Like, yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: I mean conspiracy right, know what happened with that whole situation? Uh, Kevin?
Speaker 1: I respect you and would love to work on the
Speaker 1: movie with you. Later you'll see Janelle and Pets three
Speaker 1: coming out. Fingers motherfucking crossed. Um. I think this is
Speaker 1: a fascinating train to go down that Hollywood does have fixers.
Speaker 1: I do believe in that people that make things happen,
Speaker 1: and but I don't know why people would want to
Speaker 1: believe this conspiracy. Well, I think to your point, it
Speaker 1: really is the maintaining of the status quo, right that, like,
Speaker 1: as long as this person continues to exist and and
Speaker 1: these entities seem unharmed and unchanged. We have our power
Speaker 1: at the point that they seem fallible, they can be
Speaker 1: broken suddenly. Our power is not as everlasting. And yeah,
Speaker 1: kind of. But the conspiracy is that people think he's
Speaker 1: dead though, so it's not. They don't believe that this
Speaker 1: current Paul McCartney, who I just googled, that's on a
Speaker 1: canoe on a river somewhere enjoining quarantine. They don't think
Speaker 1: that's him. Sense to me, right, But that's the Internet, right,
Speaker 1: or that's the Internet of old. I think that the powers,
Speaker 1: what is their motivation for it? I think their want
Speaker 1: is to maintain status quo. To your point, why do
Speaker 1: random people want to believe that? Right? That's the part
Speaker 1: that scares me. I can understand wanting to believe to
Speaker 1: Pocket is still alive, but wanting to believe that Paul
Speaker 1: McCartney is dead and it's now replaced And it's not
Speaker 1: even some out there conspiracy like he's been replaced by
Speaker 1: lizard person or an alien or or anything. It's a
Speaker 1: man named Jimmy she Dude, it's not. It's not even
Speaker 1: a sexy name. Nobody gets morny for Jimmy Shears. They
Speaker 1: find him in a hotel lobby and a Beatles cover band,
Speaker 1: and they say, hey, get those shoes off. We're gonna
Speaker 1: need to make a weird album cover. We wanted to
Speaker 1: be dead, but we want to tell people a secret
Speaker 1: that he alive. I mean the whole thing. Don't ask questions.
Speaker 1: There's got some money, We'll leave some little hints and
Speaker 1: everywhere we go, you'll you'll be Paul from down. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we don't give a fuck. We're willing to risk it
Speaker 1: all for a little old Marges towards well, Janelle. I
Speaker 1: think we did it. Could think we nailed it. This
Speaker 1: was a fantastic episode. Could you tell the people where
Speaker 1: they can find you any cool stuff you have going on? Yeah?
Speaker 1: You can find me on line and in my online
Speaker 1: you know, and in my house basically because I'm in
Speaker 1: quarantine like everybody else. Uh. But watch Black Monday. Uh,
Speaker 1: I'm on season two and it's a fantastic black as
Speaker 1: show and I'm I'm proud of it. Watch my Netflix
Speaker 1: uh comedy lineup? Uh, I don't know, Google me. I'm
Speaker 1: out there. Yeah, Google she's out there, and uh Netflix
Speaker 1: her Netflix specialist hilarious Black Monday. Listen to my album
Speaker 1: Black and Mild. The comic just offered to pay me
Speaker 1: to listen to my album, which is like it's Quarantine
Speaker 1: dropping everybody crazy that's crazy, and will send their email
Speaker 1: over to me. I was touched, but but yeah, listen
Speaker 1: to that. It's the thing I'm most proud of. And
Speaker 1: I guess my kids too or whatever. But yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess my kids cool. But Black and Mild, that's
Speaker 1: where I really feel like I nailed it. I kill
Speaker 1: that ship. All right, Well, this has been another episode
Speaker 1: of my Mama told me once again, follow us and
Speaker 1: and like and subscribe on whatever platforms you do that ship.
Speaker 1: Oh and last thing, if you have anything that you
Speaker 1: would like to send us, drops, artwork, alien, dick pis,
Speaker 1: whatever it may be, please send those to my Mama
Speaker 1: pot at gmail dot com. I would love to see it.
Speaker 1: I would love to read it. I would love to
Speaker 1: experience it and potentially play it in one of our episodes.
Speaker 1: Have a good day because my cron chips in yours
Speaker 1: a qualms are racist, the ossy money marshals many turning stuff. Really,
Speaker 1: I can't tell me