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Speaker 1: Well, hey everybody, it's me Rosie O'Donnell, and you have

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Speaker 1: found my podcast. Congratulations. I wish there was a prize,

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Speaker 1: but there isn't. This is onward with me, and what

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Speaker 1: we do here is we just, you know, hang a

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Speaker 1: little bit for about an hour and chat with somebody

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Speaker 1: that I've met or that i've known, or in this case,

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Speaker 1: someone that I didn't know that was up until recently.

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Speaker 1: Here's the story. I was meeting a friend for lunch

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Speaker 1: at Nobu, which is an amazing sushi restaurant, and I

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Speaker 1: looked over at the table across from us, sitting right

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Speaker 1: by the water, and it's this gorgeous young couple. Like

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Speaker 1: to me, they almost look like teenagers, like I thought,

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Speaker 1: maybe twenty two, maybe twenty three, and the wife was

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Speaker 1: very beautiful and they were lovingly kind of looking at

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Speaker 1: each other. And the guy I thought he was a

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Speaker 1: clothes designer because he had real kind of fun like

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Speaker 1: decaled emoji jeans on like I can't explain it, but

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Speaker 1: they looked like he had made them himself or something,

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Speaker 1: or you know that. I just imagined that he was

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Speaker 1: like a young Christian Seriano guy. But it wasn't so

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Speaker 1: I looked at them, and then I was finishing my meal,

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Speaker 1: and then I asked the waitress could I please have

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Speaker 1: the check? And she says, well, there's no check. And

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Speaker 1: I said, what do you mean there's no check? And

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Speaker 1: they said, there was a young man in here and

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Speaker 1: he paid for your meal and he left you this note.

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Speaker 1: So she hands me a note that's written like on

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Speaker 1: white fax paper that you know, plane, and it's kind

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Speaker 1: of wrinkled, and it's in pens, and he writes, thank

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Speaker 1: you for being you and for setting an example of

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Speaker 1: what it means to be yourself in the face of

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Speaker 1: adversity and negativity. Because of your strength and bravery, a

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Speaker 1: little boy found the light in a childhood riddled with darkness, violence,

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Speaker 1: drug abuse, and depression. And now I'm one of the

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Speaker 1: biggest rappers in the world. Thank you with love and

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Speaker 1: unconditional reverence Logic. And then he puts in parentheses Bobby

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Speaker 1: Hall and have a wonderful day. He wrote in a

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Speaker 1: little smiley face. Well, I was very very moved by

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Speaker 1: this and very touched by this. And I also had

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Speaker 1: never heard of Logic. I didn't know who he was.

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Speaker 1: I thought, how could there be a most famous rapper

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Speaker 1: in the world that I don't even know is name.

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Speaker 1: I mean, shortly, I'm not that out of the loop,

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Speaker 1: or so I thought. I call up my kids. I

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Speaker 1: called Blakey and Viv and Parker and said to them, Hey,

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Speaker 1: you guys, do you ever heard of the guy named Logic?

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Speaker 1: And right away my son Blake is like, yeah, I know,

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Speaker 1: And why what'd you do? Mom? What'd you do? Because

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Speaker 1: they're always worried that I'm going to say something stupid

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Speaker 1: in front of them at a restaurant, And I said,

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Speaker 1: I didn't do anything but listen to this and I

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Speaker 1: read the letter and they were like, oh, man, I

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Speaker 1: can't believe that. I got to call my friend. He

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Speaker 1: hangs up and calls his friends, and you know, it's

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Speaker 1: just it was very, very loving to get a note

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Speaker 1: like that. I can't tell you. It's sixty one years

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Speaker 1: old to have looked at this young couple and thought,

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Speaker 1: you know, wonderful things about them, and then this beautiful

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Speaker 1: note lands in my lap on a Monday afternoon and

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Speaker 1: I came home and I did a deep dive and

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Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I know who this guy is.

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Speaker 1: He did that song about suicide where he put up

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Speaker 1: the number of the National Suicide Hotline, and he saved

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Speaker 1: like millions of people's lives. I mean, he is so successful,

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Speaker 1: he is so talented, and he is so prolific. He

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Speaker 1: has won awards, he has worked with everyone, and he

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Speaker 1: is considered one of the most famous rappers in the world.

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Speaker 1: I'm so happy that our lives intersected. I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: that after that wonderful gesture of paying for my lunch,

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Speaker 1: that I knew someone who knew someone who knew him,

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Speaker 1: and we got together and we started texting and talking

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Speaker 1: and he said, I'd love to do your podcast, and

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Speaker 1: he did. And it's just so exciting to learn about

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Speaker 1: a new person who is a wonderful human being and

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Speaker 1: so immensely talented. His lyrics are wonderful and honest, and

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Speaker 1: you know, talk about mental health and the importance of

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Speaker 1: taking care of yourself and it's really survivor's story. And

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Speaker 1: he's here, and I love the guy. Not only that

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Speaker 1: he invited me and all my children and there is

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Speaker 1: a lot of them to come see him perform. What

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Speaker 1: his concert starts, he's going on tour because he has

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Speaker 1: a new record. He hasn't had one out for three years.

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Speaker 1: So this is the new one and we're gonna be

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Speaker 1: talking a little bit about that and just about life

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Speaker 1: in general. So hey, here he is Bobby Hall, also

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Speaker 1: known as Logic. Well, there he is, Bobby. How are you.

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Speaker 2: I'm great? How are you?

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Speaker 1: I am so happy that I got to do a

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Speaker 1: deep dive into you and that I have found out

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Speaker 1: how remarkable you are. You're a remarkable young man. You're

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Speaker 1: thirty three years old. You have so much success, yes,

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Speaker 1: and you had such a hard childhood. It is very

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Speaker 1: very inspiring to see what you have made out of

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Speaker 1: what was your childhood into your life and I'm completely

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Speaker 1: inspired by you.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's like the most epic intro of all time.

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Speaker 2: Thank you very much.

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Speaker 1: Well, it's the truth between listening to your audio book,

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Speaker 1: which I started reading it, and then I was listening

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Speaker 1: to an interview that you had done where the interviewer

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Speaker 1: was saying I started reading it and I could only

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Speaker 1: hear it in my voice, and then I heard you

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Speaker 1: doing all these voices and it really changed the story.

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Speaker 1: As soon as I read that or heard that, I

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Speaker 1: went and got the audio book too.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: To hear your ability to mimic is really pretty extraordinary

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Speaker 1: and to bring to life these characters that you were

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Speaker 1: trying to show the world, it's pretty extraordinary. It really is.

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Speaker 2: Thank you. It was you know, writing the book was

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Speaker 2: it was difficult because it's like I had to be

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Speaker 2: very honest, you know, and there was even some people

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Speaker 2: in my family who were like, how could you say that?

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Speaker 2: And then my response was always how could you do

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Speaker 2: that to a child? Yes, you know, so when writing

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Speaker 2: it was never from a place of like negativity. It

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Speaker 2: was always just complete honesty. But I think I think

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Speaker 2: taking that negative aspect of my childhood while also being

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Speaker 2: able to read the audiobook because with my first novel

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Speaker 2: that I wrote, called Supermarket, I also did the audiobook,

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Speaker 2: and that was a little different, you know, because they

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Speaker 2: typically say when you read the audio book, you want

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Speaker 2: to do it very slowly, right, But when I did

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Speaker 2: mine for the memoir, I wanted it to be like

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Speaker 2: and then my mom was like, yeah, was cracking the

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Speaker 2: house and the police are running and done it. And

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Speaker 2: so I wanted you to feel like I'm telling you

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Speaker 2: a story, like you're a friend on my couch.

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Speaker 1: And that's why it's so brilliant to listen to it,

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Speaker 1: because you're in the panic. You're in the anxiety. You

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Speaker 1: can feel your anxiety and your memory and in your

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Speaker 1: portrayal of it, with your fluency in the English language

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Speaker 1: and your ability to take the precise moment and hold

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Speaker 1: that one up for people to look at. It's you know,

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Speaker 1: I have questions. I have questions, Bobby.

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Speaker 2: First of all, I got time.

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Speaker 1: Are your parents alive now?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? So my mother, they're both alive. Yes, my mother

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Speaker 2: I haven't spoken to in I think about thirteen years now.

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Speaker 2: And the last time we spoke it was my twenty

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Speaker 2: first birthday and she, I guess twelve years and she

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Speaker 2: said my sister called me crying and was like, Mommy says,

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Speaker 2: you're the reason you don't talk to her in X

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Speaker 2: y Z And I was like what. And I hadn't

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Speaker 2: already seen my mother in a few years. And I

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Speaker 2: called her and I said, the reason that I don't

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Speaker 2: speak to you isn't because of anybody else but yourself.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, I love you and I want

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Speaker 2: a relationship with you, but everything is like your way

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Speaker 2: or the highway, and like nobody can even have a

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Speaker 2: conversation with you or an opinion right, and if you

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Speaker 2: don't agree with someone. You yell, you scream, you call

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Speaker 2: them names, you curse at them, you damn them to hell.

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Speaker 2: And I was just like, that's why we don't have

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Speaker 2: a relationship, and she said, understood, hung up on me,

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Speaker 2: and I haven't talked to her since. So that's her.

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Speaker 2: And then my father, who at the time of writing

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Speaker 2: the memoir, I had put him out of my life

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Speaker 2: for a couple of years because of boundaries, sure, you know,

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Speaker 2: And every time I would draw a line, he would

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Speaker 2: always cross it. And it wasn't even crazy. It was

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Speaker 2: just like, like one of the last times I spoke

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Speaker 2: to my dad before recently reuniting with him, which I'm

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Speaker 2: excited to talk to you about. Actually, he asked me

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Speaker 2: for a million dollars. Yeah, okay, I'm like exactly, Like,

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Speaker 2: he literally asked me for a million dollars. So my

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Speaker 2: father is super long story short, both my parents for

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Speaker 2: those out there who may not know, you know, drug addicts, alcoholics,

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Speaker 2: meant a little my mother, yeah, mental illness, bipolar, you know,

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Speaker 2: sexual abuse, so many things that they had both gone through.

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Speaker 2: And now that I'm older, I realized they're just hurt

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Speaker 2: and broken people trying to find their way in the

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Speaker 2: world that accidentally had like a million kids, you know.

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Speaker 2: So but with my father, he asked me. You know,

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Speaker 2: he's a musician, African percussions. You know, he's a black

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Speaker 2: man and loves music. Was always great at music. But unfortunately,

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Speaker 2: just because of his addiction to crack cocaine and alcohol

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Speaker 2: and such, you know, nothing really came of it. So

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Speaker 2: he says, I need a million dollars. I say for what, right,

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Speaker 2: and he goes, oh, so me and my band can

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Speaker 2: get a studio house, and also I need you to

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Speaker 2: pay my bills, and also I need and then I

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Speaker 2: was just like, dude, like every time, all the time,

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Speaker 2: there was always something. So I put him out of

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Speaker 2: my life. And then until recently. I hope I'm not

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Speaker 2: talking too much.

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Speaker 1: No, I want to hear all of it. I have

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Speaker 1: so many questions. As you're talking, guy, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to interrupt, but go and then I have got questions.

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Speaker 2: Okay, all right, great, So as I now have a child,

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Speaker 2: which I'm sure we'll get.

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Speaker 1: So he's beautiful. He is so beautiful. His eyes are

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Speaker 1: gonna just slay the world.

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Speaker 2: Slay girl. Yeah. No, I'm excited, like he's everything that

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Speaker 2: I couldn't have from my own childhood.

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Speaker 1: Right.

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Speaker 2: I was looking at him a couple months ago, and

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Speaker 2: it was I was saddened by the fact that, you know,

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Speaker 2: my father is alive and he's out there and he

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Speaker 2: hasn't met his little boy. And I've done that really

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Speaker 2: to protect myself, you know, emotionally. And there's like a

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Speaker 2: version of me at like fifty years old that I

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Speaker 2: would hope is much wiser than I am now, right.

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Speaker 2: And I had this vision of me at fifty and

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Speaker 2: my dad is long dead, and I wished that I

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Speaker 2: could have tried one more time, even though every time

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Speaker 2: he breaks the birth with which is one more time? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And I asked my little boy, I say, you want

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Speaker 2: to meet your granddad? And he goes, yeah, yeah, And

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Speaker 2: I said okay, And I thought about it, and I

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Speaker 2: called my dad and I said listen, all right, I said,

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Speaker 2: listen to me. I love you, but I need you

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Speaker 2: to respect me. Don't talk to me about money, don't

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Speaker 2: talk to me about music. You need to meet your grandson.

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Speaker 2: Blah blah blah. Long story short, fly him out first

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Speaker 2: class from the hood. Yeah, lands he meets his grandson.

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Speaker 2: It's incredible. His grandson goes to sleep. Bro, this is

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Speaker 2: like a month ago, wow, when it was sep. And

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Speaker 2: then first thing out of my dad's mouth, I need

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Speaker 2: you to buy me.

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Speaker 1: A truck, baby, oh baby.

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Speaker 2: And I say, instead of doing what I've always done,

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Speaker 2: which is like I'm you know, I get out of here.

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Speaker 2: I said why? I said, why are you asking me

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Speaker 2: for a truck? Why are you asking me for money?

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Speaker 2: Why are you asking me to bring you on tour

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Speaker 2: with me so you can play Conga's in the background. Why?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: And he gave me the greatest answer I'd ever gotten

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Speaker 2: in my entire life. He said, I don't know number

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Speaker 2: one and then and I'll wrap this up. He went

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Speaker 2: on to express that because super long story short, my

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Speaker 2: black father did one of two things after having me.

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Speaker 2: Now just look at me. The first one was a

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Speaker 2: praternity does.

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Speaker 1: Right, that's not my kid?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And then the second one was he gotta easectomy. Okay. Now,

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Speaker 2: almost thirty years later, he somehow knocked up a young

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Speaker 2: woman from the program. She was like twenty three years old.

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Speaker 2: They had a baby, which is crazy, and he looks

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Speaker 2: like me, he's my little brother. And then she dies

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Speaker 2: a year later of a heroin overdose. Okay. So here's

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Speaker 2: this man sixty nine years old with a baby, and

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Speaker 2: he's remarried. Now he is a wife. He's actually really sweet,

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Speaker 2: she loves the baby. And he goes, I think, I

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Speaker 2: just I just really need to leave something for your

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Speaker 2: little brother. And that's when it went off like a

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Speaker 2: light bulb in my head. All my father has ever

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Speaker 2: talked to me about his money, and all he's ever

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Speaker 2: talked to me about his music. So you know what

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna do. I am going to give him everything

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Speaker 2: he wants. And I said, Dad, I'm gonna buy you

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Speaker 2: a brand new truck, and Dad, I'm gonna make sure

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Speaker 2: I put some money in your pocket. And what we're

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Speaker 2: gonna do is we are going to record an album

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Speaker 2: together about family and the ups and downs of it.

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Speaker 2: And then I am going to give you publishing, educates

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Speaker 2: you in investment, black ownership, and what to do with

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Speaker 2: this money. And fifty percent of every dollar is going

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Speaker 2: to go into a trust that nor I, you, nobody

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Speaker 2: can touch until that little boy is of age, and

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Speaker 2: then the rest will go in your pocket to help

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Speaker 2: raise him. How's that sound And he goes, sign.

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Speaker 1: Me up, motherfucker, let's go let's really We'll be back

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Speaker 1: with more logic after this. Now is he sober?

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Speaker 2: Now?

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Speaker 1: Is he working a program? Is he trying to stay clean?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? He is. He's sober, so his biggest thing. It's

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Speaker 2: funny because he came over like, I enjoy scotch and

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Speaker 2: I learned a lot, you know, from my parents and

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Speaker 2: even growing up in alcoholics. And I have an AA

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Speaker 2: shirt from the nineties that I wear when I drink scotch.

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Speaker 2: And somebody could be like, what.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what do you do as mister duplicity?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's because I learned from that as a child

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Speaker 2: how to have a healthy relationship with substance. I mean,

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Speaker 2: nothing hard, you know, but just my thing is weed

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Speaker 2: and a little bit of scotch sometimes. And so my

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Speaker 2: dad he's like, he's like, let's have a beer. And

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Speaker 2: I was like, Dad, you're a recovering alcoholic. Then he goes, no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I'm a recovering crack at it, and I thought it

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Speaker 2: was hilarious and we laughed, and yeah, so he's he's

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Speaker 2: definitely in a great place. He really, he really as

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Speaker 2: good as you can get at sixty nine For Crag.

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Speaker 1: Now, it sounds as though you have tremendous forgiveness for

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Speaker 1: both your parents. And I know that people might not

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Speaker 1: be familiar, but your mother tried to kill you twice

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Speaker 1: and you you went without food, you ate donuts. She

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Speaker 1: almost choked you to death. Your dad was doing drugs

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Speaker 1: all the time, having a lot of other children. You

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Speaker 1: had a life of pure chaos and hell. And yet

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Speaker 1: you still have found a way to come to some

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Speaker 1: sort of forgiveness, or you wouldn't be able to do

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Speaker 1: what you're doing with your dad. You know, I went

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Speaker 1: no contact with my dad really since my children were born. Wow,

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Speaker 1: so I I and then he died exactly what you're

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Speaker 1: saying about your dad. You worried that you would get

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Speaker 1: to be sixty or fifty and he would die and

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Speaker 1: you would not have had that last chance. And some

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Speaker 1: people ask me, do you wish that you had been

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Speaker 1: in contact with him? And you know, I don't. I

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Speaker 1: never wanted sort of my kids to know him, even

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Speaker 1: though my kids did ask me, mommy, why don't we

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Speaker 1: ever see your daddy? If I know your mommy died,

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Speaker 1: but why don't we see your daddy? And I could?

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Speaker 1: You know, started with it wouldn't be safe for you.

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Speaker 1: I wanted to be safe for you, and so that

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Speaker 1: Mommy's decided that this is a better way to be.

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Speaker 1: And as they're older now, they have questions, they want

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Speaker 1: to know the details. You know. I was kind of

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Speaker 1: horrified at the one part where your mother would scare

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Speaker 1: you as an eight year old with telling you that

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Speaker 1: you could get raped or penetrate, like telling you things

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Speaker 1: that a child would never even understand in such explicit detail.

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Speaker 1: Again in the midst of a serious bipolar condition.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, you really did your homework. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Well, honey, I'm so I'm so impressed with you, I

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Speaker 1: can't even and I feel so horrible that I didn't

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Speaker 1: know who you were till we met bumped into each

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Speaker 1: other without saying hello at NOBU, and you brought me lunch,

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Speaker 1: which was so unbelievable. I don't think you'll know how

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Speaker 1: touching that was to me. And when I was looking

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Speaker 1: at you, I thought maybe he's a designer, because your

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Speaker 1: clothes were kind of cute and you had like anime

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Speaker 1: big jeans and your wife's beautiful. I thought, look at these,

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Speaker 1: I thought you were kids. But to me, you are kids,

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Speaker 1: because you know, my boy's about to be twenty eight,

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Speaker 1: my oldest, and I have five kids, and I just

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Speaker 1: thought to myself, he must be some new young designer,

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Speaker 1: like I don't know. I just I didn't think rap.

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Speaker 1: And when I read your note and you talked about

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Speaker 1: I call my kids and they all went through the roof,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, are you kidding me? Give me that letter?

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Speaker 1: You're not keeping it. I'm like, get away, I'm keeping that.

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Speaker 2: That's so cool.

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Speaker 1: But I felt bad. How did I miss you? How

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Speaker 1: did I miss this career where you've accomplished so much,

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Speaker 1: so many records. I watched this. I don't know why

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Speaker 1: I missed the VMAs when you were doing your one

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Speaker 1: eight hundred song. But the story that you tell about

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Speaker 1: the producer friend who called and said this is what

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Speaker 1: we're doing and pushed you into it. Then I watched

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Speaker 1: it and I was choked up. It was a beautiful,

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Speaker 1: beautiful thing to do, to write and then to perform

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Speaker 1: for an audience that is often glib at those award shows,

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Speaker 1: you moved everyone to tears. They all stood up. You

347
00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 1: saved hundreds and thousands of lives doing this song, and

348
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Speaker 1: when you wrote it, you were wanting to save yourself.

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Speaker 1: Really did you think of other people, was it just

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Speaker 1: so personal?

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Speaker 2: I think it was definitely a mixture of the personal

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Speaker 2: and for others, you know, it's like I definitely had days.

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Speaker 2: We've all had those days, you know, and you have thoughts.

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Speaker 2: And I think that at the deepest and most darkest

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Speaker 2: depths of any depression or state of depression that I

356
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,840
Speaker 2: had faced, my thoughts on this specific issue of taking

357
00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: one's life were more severe, intrusive thoughts that I would

358
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Speaker 2: dwell on, rather than thoughts that I was like, Okay,

359
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Speaker 2: this is something now.

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Speaker 1: You weren't making plans. You weren't making plans, had these

361
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Speaker 1: constant thoughts that very troubling. I've had intrusive thoughts for many,

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Speaker 1: many years, and it's it's tough to tame them.

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Speaker 2: You know, Well, what's crazy, It's wild that you say that,

364
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:14,040
Speaker 2: because you know, in therapy, what I learned is it's

365
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Speaker 2: almost like, hey, don't think about a pink balloon, you know,

366
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Speaker 2: and then it's like, well, now I'm thinking about it.

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Speaker 2: And then the more you think about it, you actually

368
00:20:21,040 --> 00:20:23,080
Speaker 2: train your brain. So it's like if you're standing in

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Speaker 2: line and you see a cashier or some guy and

370
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 2: you're just paying for tik TACs and for whatever reason

371
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Speaker 2: you think about like punching his nosebone through his head

372
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Speaker 2: for whatever weird right, right, Like what the hell where

373
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Speaker 2: did that come from? That initial reaction is actually what

374
00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:39,160
Speaker 2: makes you human, and that is your consciousness there going

375
00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,760
Speaker 2: that what is that? Number one? Number two? If you

376
00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,960
Speaker 2: do freak out about it, you're then training your brain

377
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Speaker 2: that every time you have a thought like that, you

378
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Speaker 2: just go balls to the wall freak out. And then

379
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:54,760
Speaker 2: by doing that, you're actually bringing more of those thoughts

380
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Speaker 2: on because you then focus on it so much. Yeah,

381
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Speaker 2: when I learned that, it's a fleeting thing where it's like,

382
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Speaker 2: I don't know, I could see my son falling downstairs

383
00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:06,920
Speaker 2: and like imagine his beautiful little body, but he's all

384
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 2: mangled up and dead. And I know it's crazy to say,

385
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 2: but it's like, that's an intrusive thought, Yes it is.

386
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Speaker 2: What I learned is that these intrusive thoughts also mainly

387
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 2: play part in what you care about most. Yes, so

388
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Speaker 2: that if you think some wild stuff, can we curse?

389
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Speaker 2: Can I not?

390
00:21:21,760 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: Go ahead? Whatever? The fuck?

391
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Speaker 2: You?

392
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Speaker 1: Right?

393
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 2: Fuck? Yeah that's kind of but yeah, if you think

394
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Speaker 2: of some wild shit in your head, ye like to

395
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 2: understand that, like, it's actually probably something you care about

396
00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 2: the most because, for example, like I love people you

397
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:38,800
Speaker 2: know who do service work and help others because I've

398
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Speaker 2: been that, and I know what it's like to wait

399
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:45,440
Speaker 2: tables and bust tables and be treated like shit by people. Totally, Yes,

400
00:21:45,560 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 2: have an ego complict. So then if I think about

401
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 2: punching a cashier in the face, I'm like, I've been

402
00:21:49,760 --> 00:21:52,879
Speaker 2: that cashier, and I just want this person to like

403
00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 2: have the best life ever. So I know that sounds

404
00:21:55,119 --> 00:21:58,679
Speaker 2: really crazy, but through therapy, I really learned that, you know,

405
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:02,119
Speaker 2: the world is crazy, but thoughts we can build a

406
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:03,680
Speaker 2: positive relationship with it, for sure.

407
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:07,000
Speaker 1: Correct, you can build a positive relationship with your thoughts

408
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:09,600
Speaker 1: and what you think you become. I know that I've

409
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,320
Speaker 1: read that you said you were sort of surprised when

410
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Speaker 1: you were at the VMA's and all these people were

411
00:22:15,119 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: talking to you and you were listing all the you know,

412
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: luminaries around you, and I thought, did you dream of that?

413
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,040
Speaker 1: Or was your childhood so horrific that you didn't have

414
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Speaker 1: time to dream about the future.

415
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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I could have never imagined that. Yeah, I

416
00:22:28,720 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 2: didn't have time. You know, it was all. It was

417
00:22:30,840 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 2: like fleeting. It was things that could not ever happen,

418
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Speaker 2: never in a million years for somebody like me. I'm

419
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:40,639
Speaker 2: just a poor kid that nobody cares about, you know

420
00:22:40,640 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 2: what I mean? And then over time you start to

421
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:46,080
Speaker 2: understand your own self worth. A lot of people ask me,

422
00:22:46,119 --> 00:22:48,680
Speaker 2: how did you make it out of your situation? I say,

423
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:50,840
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not a religious guy, but I believe.

424
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Speaker 2: I don't think God's a white guy on a cloud

425
00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:55,840
Speaker 2: with a beard, but right I definitely say God in

426
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:59,520
Speaker 2: common sense, I do believe in something greater than myself.

427
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,480
Speaker 2: And and I don't know a lot of people they're

428
00:23:02,520 --> 00:23:05,439
Speaker 2: so worried, they're so like, you know, they want to know,

429
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:07,200
Speaker 2: like how did you make it out? Like it doesn't

430
00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,120
Speaker 2: make any sense, It doesn't make any sense. But it's

431
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,399
Speaker 2: the same, you know kind of way people feel the

432
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:15,000
Speaker 2: need to know what's in the afterlife, like we have

433
00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 2: to or whatever. And I'm just kind of like, hey man,

434
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:19,280
Speaker 2: I'm just going to do the best that I can

435
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,160
Speaker 2: to live with what I have. And it's the same

436
00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,399
Speaker 2: thing about my mother. I could say, how could my

437
00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 2: mother birth for biracial children from all different black men,

438
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 2: and yet she was inherently systemically racist.

439
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, it didn't make sense to me. It didn't make sense.

440
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:38,240
Speaker 2: To me exactly. But when you go down this orchard,

441
00:23:38,800 --> 00:23:42,359
Speaker 2: you know, road of the fact that she was with

442
00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:46,000
Speaker 2: a family, and that family was extremely racist, but she

443
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 2: always found black people and people of color so beautiful.

444
00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 2: That's that like systemic inside of her. And then it

445
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,920
Speaker 2: depends like what day when you see her. I mean,

446
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 2: one day she's listening a Run DMC walk this way,

447
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 2: the next listening to Nirvana's Rape Me, Like it's the crazy.

448
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 2: It's like it was a really wild household. So instead

449
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 2: of trying to undergo like I need to know what's

450
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,480
Speaker 2: going on. I need to figure it out. It's almost

451
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:12,800
Speaker 2: like a person who's like wearing a tinfoil hat. They're

452
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 2: like the government's watching, and all right, all right, let

453
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 2: them watch me, let him watch my dad buy it.

454
00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 2: I don't give who care. That's kind of more my

455
00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:22,840
Speaker 2: mentality is instead of trying to focus on the past

456
00:24:22,960 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 2: and why and how come, which is okay to do

457
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,800
Speaker 2: in therapy and things like that, but instead of making

458
00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:31,240
Speaker 2: that your everyday obsession all the time, sometimes you got

459
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 2: to throw your hands up, go it is what it is.

460
00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:35,720
Speaker 2: But what can I do today to better myself and

461
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 2: make other people smile? And that's my mentality.

462
00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,440
Speaker 1: That's exactly the name of the podcast. What is what Happened?

463
00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:45,560
Speaker 1: How already happened? Onward? I read so much about you,

464
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,679
Speaker 1: and I had so much compassion for the child that

465
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: you were. How is it that DCF did not come

466
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 1: in and rescue you. I know that you said you

467
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,280
Speaker 1: were coached by your parents, but it still seems as

468
00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,880
Speaker 1: though it was very obvious that you were in trouble.

469
00:25:01,119 --> 00:25:02,760
Speaker 2: You know, I think I'm owed in Oscar.

470
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 1: Yes, I do think you my faith.

471
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 2: It's literally, yeah, they came in multiple times. I think

472
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,360
Speaker 2: the system is so broken. I mean, that's a real thing.

473
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:16,360
Speaker 2: It's like it is a broken system where there are

474
00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:20,520
Speaker 2: some situations where like yeah, I had been sexually abused

475
00:25:20,560 --> 00:25:23,159
Speaker 2: and things like that, But it wasn't. It wasn't in

476
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,120
Speaker 2: that kind of crazy way you hear on the news

477
00:25:25,119 --> 00:25:27,280
Speaker 2: and then the government comes and saves the kids and

478
00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 2: all this. It wasn't like so obvious. It was this

479
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,120
Speaker 2: like under I don't know how to explain it. It's

480
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 2: like they walk into my house, and it's depending on

481
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,840
Speaker 2: when they would walk into my house. There had to

482
00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,080
Speaker 2: be blood all over the place, and drugs and this

483
00:25:42,280 --> 00:25:44,320
Speaker 2: and that and X y Z, and they just never

484
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,600
Speaker 2: came during those times, or when my mother was locked

485
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,119
Speaker 2: up in an insane asylum, and you know, it's me

486
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:53,639
Speaker 2: and my teenage sisters and I'm just the six year

487
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:55,480
Speaker 2: old litle boy. Like it was never then. It was

488
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:57,439
Speaker 2: always when my mom was kind of like going to

489
00:25:57,520 --> 00:25:59,840
Speaker 2: church or like getting your shit back together right things

490
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 2: then and then they would come or whatever. And so

491
00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:06,440
Speaker 2: but I know this sounds crazy, even though I should

492
00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: have been taken out of that home, yeah, in place

493
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:11,200
Speaker 2: in a much better home where, mind you, my mother

494
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,600
Speaker 2: would always say they'll rape, they'll rape, Yes, that's what

495
00:26:14,640 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 2: she's saying. But I'm glad that it turned out the

496
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:21,120
Speaker 2: way that it did, you know, because I don't know.

497
00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:25,040
Speaker 2: I just I I am like the happiest guy in

498
00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 2: the world. I have a little boy, I have another

499
00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,440
Speaker 2: one on the way, I have a beautiful wife. I've

500
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 2: had my ups and downs in life, and I will

501
00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:34,399
Speaker 2: continue to have those. Yes, But I think there is

502
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:39,159
Speaker 2: just some weird puzzle Rubik's cube situation that if my

503
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,280
Speaker 2: childhood didn't happen the way that it did, I wouldn't

504
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:45,040
Speaker 2: be able to not only appreciate what I have now,

505
00:26:45,320 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 2: but have the knowledge thus far to pass along through

506
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,000
Speaker 2: my music for others. So I don't. I don't doubt

507
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 2: it for a day. I'm happy to be here.

508
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so beautiful that you do it for others.

509
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,560
Speaker 1: It's so beautiful that you talk about situations that our

510
00:26:59,600 --> 00:27:02,560
Speaker 1: culture is not always ready to hear, like that. There

511
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 1: are children who are in horrific situations like yours, and

512
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:10,080
Speaker 1: yet sometimes there's nowhere for them to go. Sometimes, you know,

513
00:27:10,119 --> 00:27:13,240
Speaker 1: there's not a foster home all, you know, scrubbed and perfect,

514
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:16,040
Speaker 1: waiting for you to love it. I wish it would

515
00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 1: happen that way. It doesn't happen that way. The statistic

516
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,800
Speaker 1: show that it doesn't happen that way. You know. I

517
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,880
Speaker 1: wondered because again, the things that are similar about us.

518
00:27:24,920 --> 00:27:28,560
Speaker 1: I was really hooked into and reading all about you

519
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,119
Speaker 1: what it was like for you and I. You know,

520
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:35,280
Speaker 1: I rarely talk to people who have lived this because

521
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 1: it's kind of rare to go from being like a

522
00:27:38,359 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: poorer kid to going to be very rich, Like it

523
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,840
Speaker 1: was almost like I landed on a new planet, you know,

524
00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,760
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh wow, and inside of me,

525
00:27:49,040 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 1: I still feel like the kid that had to go

526
00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: to Corvette's or John's bargain basement to get the discount

527
00:27:54,600 --> 00:27:57,800
Speaker 1: loose leaves for school. You know, like I still feel that,

528
00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:02,680
Speaker 1: even though I'm a successful, full, financially secure, lucky woman

529
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:06,199
Speaker 1: in the world, I can't shake that part of me

530
00:28:06,240 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 1: that looks at the sale item, at the gap.

531
00:28:08,440 --> 00:28:15,240
Speaker 2: You know, I agree. I remember, so I smoked cigarettes

532
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,159
Speaker 2: for a long time and I quit when I was

533
00:28:17,240 --> 00:28:22,560
Speaker 2: twenty five, And around then, I remember I would smoke Newports.

534
00:28:22,600 --> 00:28:24,160
Speaker 2: That's how you know. I'm from the hood. So I'd

535
00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: like smoke these Newports, and I was with my manager,

536
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,359
Speaker 2: and you know, at twenty five, like I was doing

537
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: pretty good, Like my breakout year was the one one

538
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 2: hundred year nine. Then followed up with other hit records

539
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 2: and like really, you know, took advantage of an amazing

540
00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 2: situation and all the eyes on me. But before then,

541
00:28:41,400 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 2: you know, my first two albums, Under Pressure in twenty

542
00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,440
Speaker 2: fourteen and The Incredible True Story in twenty fifteen, when

543
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,600
Speaker 2: I was twenty five, those were like culturally in my

544
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 2: space of hip hop, like hit albums, Like I didn't

545
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,239
Speaker 2: have hits all over the radio, but right old there

546
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:00,320
Speaker 2: was something It really helped kind of push the culture,

547
00:29:00,360 --> 00:29:01,920
Speaker 2: which is really special for me.

548
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 1: Right it wasn't so much singles, kind of like The

549
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 1: Miseducation of Lauren Hill.

550
00:29:06,680 --> 00:29:06,960
Speaker 2: That was.

551
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:11,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was an album right that you loved and

552
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:14,560
Speaker 1: you listened to it. You felt her, You understand where

553
00:29:14,600 --> 00:29:17,000
Speaker 1: she was from and what she's about. And but there

554
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,320
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily one that you know, Zion which I love,

555
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 1: that song about her son never made it to the radio.

556
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,200
Speaker 1: You know, you didn't hear it on the radio.

557
00:29:25,080 --> 00:29:26,440
Speaker 2: But but it made it to your heart.

558
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 1: Oh my god. And that album was a cohesive unit.

559
00:29:29,720 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: It's like a beautiful, big masterpiece painting. You know, it's

560
00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: just like your stuff. I agree, it's true, Bobby, It's true.

561
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:43,280
Speaker 2: So when I was twenty five, Yes, I'm smoking these

562
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,800
Speaker 2: cigarettes and I would always I put half out and

563
00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: put it back in a pack. One day, my buddy goes,

564
00:29:50,760 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 2: why the hell do you do that?

565
00:29:52,600 --> 00:29:52,920
Speaker 1: Yes?

566
00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:55,000
Speaker 2: And I go, oh, because you know, I'm done with

567
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 2: this half. I'm just going to save it for And

568
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,520
Speaker 2: he goes, bro, you're rich. What are you talking about? Yeah?

569
00:29:59,560 --> 00:30:01,360
Speaker 2: And then if I kind of like at this moment

570
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,600
Speaker 2: where I was like, oh my god, and I didn't

571
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,920
Speaker 2: even like realize how far I had thought. Yes, It's

572
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,800
Speaker 2: like it was this really incredible thing. So so I

573
00:30:09,880 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 2: agree with you there, and I think people like us

574
00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:14,840
Speaker 2: we definitely have a different perspective on life, because you know,

575
00:30:14,880 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 2: there's people who are born in the money, but they're

576
00:30:16,800 --> 00:30:19,600
Speaker 2: amazing people, They're great people. They spend their whole lives

577
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 2: trying to give up, trying to help. But I do

578
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,360
Speaker 2: think we have And by no means am I comparing

579
00:30:24,440 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: or saying we have some kind of an edge even

580
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:31,000
Speaker 2: though we do. Being poor, yeah, and then getting money, yes,

581
00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 2: is like one of the craziest things in the world.

582
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:36,280
Speaker 1: I agree, not.

583
00:30:36,360 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 2: Only how much you truly appreciate it, but if you

584
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 2: are a good person in your heart and you do

585
00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,160
Speaker 2: what you can to give it back. Yes, I mean,

586
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:46,000
Speaker 2: it's the greatest feeling in the world.

587
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 1: Telling you, Yeah, it feels like there's no way I

588
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,160
Speaker 1: can ever give enough to make it fair.

589
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:50,600
Speaker 2: You know.

590
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,160
Speaker 1: It feels like the amount of lottery kind of winnings

591
00:30:54,240 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 1: that I've been given and earned, so to speak, in

592
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 1: my career, it just feels like an exorbit then excess,

593
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 1: like I sometimes still can't believe it. You know, I

594
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:05,000
Speaker 1: can't believe it.

595
00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you have you also you have family and

596
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:10,720
Speaker 2: you know, like you said, you have five children. I

597
00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 2: mean you've you've hustled, you've grown. I mean, dude from

598
00:31:14,960 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: films and even the television show over two thousand episodes

599
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 2: like Yo, you hustled. Yeah you didn't just know. You

600
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,560
Speaker 2: just wake up one day like oh I won the lottery,

601
00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:29,040
Speaker 2: Like yo, you created a legacy. And even though you

602
00:31:29,080 --> 00:31:33,040
Speaker 2: know this, this this term absorbitant amount of money, it's like, yeah,

603
00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:36,120
Speaker 2: it can almost seem too much, but I know like

604
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 2: you help it. Of course we help others. We like

605
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:41,880
Speaker 2: when I donate and ship, like I don't I just

606
00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 2: do it anonymously. I'm just like, yeah, it's almost like

607
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:48,160
Speaker 2: that episode of Curb where it's like Larry David don't

608
00:31:48,280 --> 00:31:51,239
Speaker 2: there's the wing and uh, I forget what it is?

609
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 2: Who is it? Who's I forget who share? As with

610
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:55,240
Speaker 2: later in the in.

611
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 1: The Ted Danceing Ted Dancing, Yes.

612
00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:03,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, Ted Dancing Swing and it's in the name of anonymous.

613
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: It was donated by anonymous, but everybody knew it was him.

614
00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 2: So I just feel like I pulled a Ted Dance

615
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:09,040
Speaker 2: and by going I.

616
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:12,280
Speaker 1: Donate exactly well, you do feel you know. I don't

617
00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 1: know if you feel this, but I definitely sometimes feel

618
00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 1: almost guilty about it, you know. I have that kind

619
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 1: of almost like it's too much. We'll be back with

620
00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:48,240
Speaker 1: more logic after this. Now, you also did something similar

621
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 1: to what I did when you were very young. I

622
00:32:50,720 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 1: was forty, but you were like twenty six. You retired.

623
00:32:55,240 --> 00:32:57,640
Speaker 2: I was thirty. That's funny that actually I was thirty

624
00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 2: you were forty. Yeah, so I and I retired. If

625
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:06,960
Speaker 2: I can be completely honest with you, I ran away.

626
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:09,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I can understand I did too, sort of.

627
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 2: I ran away, and I was inspired by having my son. Yes,

628
00:33:14,880 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 2: And I was on a hamster wheel doing this, and

629
00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 2: I had made more money than I could ever need,

630
00:33:22,120 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 2: and how many platinum plan I mean just plaques and

631
00:33:25,240 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: plaques and number ones and number ones, and everybody's in

632
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 2: your pockets like keep going, keep going, keep going. Yes,

633
00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:35,720
Speaker 2: And I stepped off the hamster wheel, had my son,

634
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:40,760
Speaker 2: and for the last three years have been utterly dedicated

635
00:33:41,040 --> 00:33:44,960
Speaker 2: to your family, my boy, and then woke up one

636
00:33:45,080 --> 00:33:49,040
Speaker 2: day realizing that I kind of also ran away from

637
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:52,920
Speaker 2: the negativity of the internet and all these things. The

638
00:33:52,920 --> 00:33:55,920
Speaker 2: pressure was like yeah, but I was like, fuck them,

639
00:33:56,080 --> 00:33:58,040
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna let them win, you know what I mean.

640
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,920
Speaker 2: I was like, I know my worth. I am enough,

641
00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:04,720
Speaker 2: I'm good enough, I'm strong enough. You know I'm gonna

642
00:34:04,760 --> 00:34:07,920
Speaker 2: I'm gonna come back and continue to spread that message

643
00:34:07,920 --> 00:34:10,640
Speaker 2: of peace, love and positivity. And the way that I

644
00:34:10,760 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 2: learned this, obviously through therapy, was everything used to hurt me. Like,

645
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,080
Speaker 2: you know, I go on there, I go on the

646
00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:20,759
Speaker 2: internet and it's like, oh, your wife's ugly and I

647
00:34:20,760 --> 00:34:23,200
Speaker 2: hope your baby dies. It's like you see something like that,

648
00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:25,640
Speaker 2: and yeah, but you see it here and there, and

649
00:34:25,840 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 2: it just you're not good enough. You're not good enough.

650
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,520
Speaker 2: You're not good enough. And when I looked in the

651
00:34:30,560 --> 00:34:32,839
Speaker 2: mirror and did the work to realize like I am

652
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: good enough, oh, I went, oh my goodness, it's okay

653
00:34:36,960 --> 00:34:39,640
Speaker 2: if somebody says something negative about me. And I used

654
00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 2: to get so angry that it would hurt. Why Why

655
00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:45,520
Speaker 2: why does this hurt? Why? I don't understand. I don't understand.

656
00:34:46,200 --> 00:34:50,360
Speaker 2: And as a human being, it's okay if something someone

657
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 2: says about you or your family or the people you

658
00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:55,919
Speaker 2: love in the most terrible and disgusting. Way right, It's

659
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,560
Speaker 2: okay if it hurts, but what you are in control

660
00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:01,439
Speaker 2: of is how much you let it hurt and how

661
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:04,560
Speaker 2: long you let it hurt. And when I realized that,

662
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,520
Speaker 2: it completely changed my perspective. And now I'm here, standing tall,

663
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 2: standing strong. I have my good days my bad days,

664
00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:14,560
Speaker 2: but I know that either one of those are okay,

665
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:15,799
Speaker 2: And so we back.

666
00:35:16,200 --> 00:35:19,759
Speaker 1: You know, you talked about the Internet and how you

667
00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:21,839
Speaker 1: used to wake up and it would be in your hand,

668
00:35:21,880 --> 00:35:23,600
Speaker 1: and you were doing this and it was in your hand,

669
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:27,240
Speaker 1: and you realized everything you did. Did you cut down

670
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: on your phone addiction, which we all have. The Internet

671
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:32,960
Speaker 1: in our hand is the worst thing that's happened to

672
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: everyone in so many years. But have you been able

673
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:37,120
Speaker 1: to curtail that at all?

674
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:38,839
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good word.

675
00:35:39,480 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 1: I look it up like her mom said, Oh my god, Yo, it's.

676
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:45,319
Speaker 2: So crazy, like we got to kick it at something.

677
00:35:45,440 --> 00:35:46,240
Speaker 1: Yes, totally.

678
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:54,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, I feel like the Internet is the

679
00:35:54,120 --> 00:35:58,480
Speaker 2: greatest and worst thing ever. It allowed me kind of

680
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 2: in an era at the end of like the radio

681
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:04,600
Speaker 2: and like MTV and like where if you weren't there,

682
00:36:04,800 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 2: like you're nowhere. It allowed artists like myself, j Cole,

683
00:36:09,440 --> 00:36:15,760
Speaker 2: Kendrick Lamar, and Khalifa to take our fans directly because

684
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 2: people were on Twitter like just had some eggs. Yeah,

685
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:22,600
Speaker 2: that's what people were using it for, right, and then

686
00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:25,759
Speaker 2: we were like check out my song. And it was

687
00:36:25,800 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 2: like a new platform in a new way. And so

688
00:36:28,160 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: when I first, you know, when the Internet, when that

689
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 2: you know, almost fifteen years ago started, it was a

690
00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 2: different place. It was actually more positive and like if

691
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:40,360
Speaker 2: somebody had something negative to say, even that in and

692
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 2: of itself was more articulate. It was more like, you know,

693
00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 2: I don't really like logic, like he's cool, whatever, I

694
00:36:45,640 --> 00:36:48,720
Speaker 2: don't really like his music because I feel the way

695
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,080
Speaker 2: that he speaks is contrite and such a and it

696
00:36:51,120 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: was like everybody was like a rolling stone like whatever.

697
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,400
Speaker 2: But now it's just like this shit.

698
00:36:56,400 --> 00:37:00,839
Speaker 1: You suck, you suck, you ugly, Yeah exactly. And how

699
00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,400
Speaker 1: much you consume that affects your soul.

700
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,160
Speaker 2: I mean literally every day. The fact that, like, bro,

701
00:37:06,480 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: think about how much information the average phone slash Internet

702
00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 2: user consumes daily. I mean it's like more than somebody

703
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:19,680
Speaker 2: should even see it in like fifty years, like totally just

704
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 2: like deaf here, deaf here, oh, the new drink song

705
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 2: is out, Oh this over here, like just all this

706
00:37:25,080 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 2: crazy stuff. So for me, it has been a struggle,

707
00:37:27,840 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 2: and it still is a struggle. But for the most part,

708
00:37:30,640 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 2: I'm not on the internet. I do check from time

709
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 2: to time, mainly to really connect with my fans and

710
00:37:35,320 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 2: see what they're doing, but like, sure my managers handle everything.

711
00:37:38,160 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 2: I don't have any apps on my phone, I don't

712
00:37:40,239 --> 00:37:41,759
Speaker 2: have any of that, and I'll send them like a

713
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: picture or you know, you know, if, for example, like

714
00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:47,839
Speaker 2: when this comes out, like I'll be like, make sure

715
00:37:47,880 --> 00:37:49,680
Speaker 2: we support this, and I'll be like, here's what I

716
00:37:49,680 --> 00:37:51,520
Speaker 2: have to say about Rosie. She's so awesome and sweet

717
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:53,239
Speaker 2: and amazing and I love her da da da, and

718
00:37:53,280 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 2: so that it's from my words, but I give it

719
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,160
Speaker 2: to them. And from doing this, I've really, really, really

720
00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:01,560
Speaker 2: freed myself. But what's crazy is the fact that, like

721
00:38:01,920 --> 00:38:04,480
Speaker 2: I'll go on the internet and I used to just

722
00:38:04,800 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 2: solely focus on the negativity. It's hard not to.

723
00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:11,080
Speaker 1: It's hard not to when you're a stand up comic

724
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 1: and the crowd is laughing at a comedy club and

725
00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:16,600
Speaker 1: everyone's going crazy, but there's one person who's not smiling.

726
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,800
Speaker 1: Do you think that maybe they had a death in

727
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: the family or maybe no, you think I suck, and

728
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,000
Speaker 1: they're right, And the seven hundred people who were here

729
00:38:24,080 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: are idiots, and I'm an idiot. Like it's natural. I

730
00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 1: think that that when someone gives you something negative, you

731
00:38:30,200 --> 00:38:32,920
Speaker 1: focus on it. You know, you gotta unlearn that.

732
00:38:33,440 --> 00:38:38,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's people, you know, we all go with

733
00:38:38,360 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 2: the meaning of life. Yeah, I have no idea, but

734
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:43,600
Speaker 2: I'm living it. So it's like it's one of those things.

735
00:38:43,640 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna keep living it and try to figure

736
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:49,400
Speaker 2: this out. And you know, some days I got it

737
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:50,359
Speaker 2: all figured out.

738
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,960
Speaker 1: Of course I got to me too, Honey, meet me

739
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,040
Speaker 1: on a good day, That's I'm saying.

740
00:38:55,120 --> 00:38:57,799
Speaker 2: And then the next day one person will just say

741
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:00,960
Speaker 2: some shit and I'm just like a failure. Like it's

742
00:39:01,440 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: it's crazy, like I've had. I've had people even just

743
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,840
Speaker 2: in the world of like music, like you know, fucking

744
00:39:07,880 --> 00:39:11,360
Speaker 2: critics say shit like, oh, you know, this dude's the

745
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,080
Speaker 2: worst rapper to ever grace a microphone in the history

746
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:15,600
Speaker 2: of the hip hop and blah blah blah blah blah

747
00:39:15,600 --> 00:39:18,480
Speaker 2: blah blah. And but then like I walk up and

748
00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:20,960
Speaker 2: I'm selling out Madison Square Garden. Yeah, so it's a lot.

749
00:39:21,080 --> 00:39:25,719
Speaker 2: It's a crazy Yeah. I think the internet, especially for

750
00:39:26,800 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 2: the younger generation, is a real place. But it's not.

751
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: It's so true.

752
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:34,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's just it's crazy.

753
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:36,960
Speaker 1: It's crazy. Now, tell me about your new album and

754
00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:39,160
Speaker 1: you're going on tour and we're coming to see you

755
00:39:39,640 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 1: and this one is produced independently. How how did you

756
00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:45,160
Speaker 1: feel about that? Did you think there was more freedom?

757
00:39:45,320 --> 00:39:48,000
Speaker 1: Was there support that you didn't get or did you

758
00:39:48,120 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: just have your crew already from so many albums, so

759
00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:54,400
Speaker 1: many wonderful albums and Grammy nominations that you kind of

760
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:56,040
Speaker 1: knew how to do it right you?

761
00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:59,080
Speaker 2: Wow? Thank yeah, thank you first of all once again

762
00:39:59,120 --> 00:40:01,600
Speaker 2: for doing your homework and taking the time and genuinely caring.

763
00:40:01,920 --> 00:40:06,080
Speaker 2: It's called College Park and it takes place in twenty eleven,

764
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,719
Speaker 2: and in twenty eleven, I was living in College Park.

765
00:40:09,760 --> 00:40:12,920
Speaker 2: This is actually the merchandise. For sure. I was living

766
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 2: in College Park, homeless, didn't have anywhere to go. My

767
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 2: best friend Lenny big Lembo, who I'm naming my soon

768
00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:25,440
Speaker 2: to be born baby boy, Leo Leon after him, how

769
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 2: I had nowhere to sleep, nowhere to live. He let

770
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,200
Speaker 2: me crash on his couch, and a year later, almost

771
00:40:31,280 --> 00:40:34,719
Speaker 2: to the day, I signed with def Jam Universal Music Group,

772
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,400
Speaker 2: got a nice check, moved everybody to LA and the

773
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:42,560
Speaker 2: rest is history. And the whole time that I was

774
00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:47,480
Speaker 2: on my come up, I was never present because I

775
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:51,319
Speaker 2: couldn't be I couldn't be complacent because I had no

776
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:56,359
Speaker 2: backup plan, no education, didn't graduate high school. Like it

777
00:40:56,400 --> 00:41:00,520
Speaker 2: was either make it or nothing or nothing.

778
00:41:01,239 --> 00:41:02,239
Speaker 1: I did the same thing.

779
00:41:02,320 --> 00:41:05,440
Speaker 2: I always look back like like that with some of

780
00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:09,359
Speaker 2: the best times of my life, but I was struggling

781
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:14,920
Speaker 2: right and I couldn't appreciate it. And now these days

782
00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:17,839
Speaker 2: I am. I am way more present than that, and

783
00:41:17,880 --> 00:41:20,360
Speaker 2: I have ambitions and goals girl, like I want to

784
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,759
Speaker 2: I love music and I'm gonna always do it, but

785
00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 2: like I do want to act more, or I do

786
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,400
Speaker 2: really honestly, A thing that's big is like my own podcast,

787
00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:30,160
Speaker 2: Like I really want to do that, Like I want

788
00:41:30,200 --> 00:41:33,080
Speaker 2: to be able to utilize my mind and connection with

789
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 2: other people and things like that, and YadA, YadA, YadA.

790
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 2: And that's why I made the album because it allowed me.

791
00:41:40,840 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 2: My best friend Lenny, my producer six, and my other

792
00:41:44,080 --> 00:41:47,600
Speaker 2: best friend Castro six is also my best friend anyway

793
00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:52,319
Speaker 2: to in a way travel back in time together in

794
00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: that piece of shit car driving to because of the

795
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,200
Speaker 2: concept for those out there listening, it takes place in

796
00:41:57,200 --> 00:41:59,879
Speaker 2: twenty eleven with me and my friends on our way

797
00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:02,400
Speaker 2: to an open mic night, and it's kind of like

798
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 2: the show that really started it all for us, and

799
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:07,440
Speaker 2: like rite us know and we got to relive that.

800
00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:10,120
Speaker 2: It's like the closest thing to like an audio biopic

801
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 2: eight mile, Like it's like wow, yeah. And so that's

802
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:18,560
Speaker 2: also why I've scaled down this tour, you know, like

803
00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:21,640
Speaker 2: because I've done arenas. I've been doing arenas for.

804
00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: Like six years, and now that's crazing. It's amazing.

805
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:27,200
Speaker 2: I loved it and it's so cool. But like I'm

806
00:42:27,239 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 2: excited for intimate shows again, which is funny because intimate

807
00:42:30,600 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 2: is still like three to five thousand people, but.

808
00:42:33,080 --> 00:42:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, it makes a difference of fifty thousand. I

809
00:42:35,520 --> 00:42:38,520
Speaker 1: remember once Madonna had one of her tours in Wembley.

810
00:42:39,239 --> 00:42:42,279
Speaker 1: I was there. We were backstage and before she came out,

811
00:42:42,320 --> 00:42:44,239
Speaker 1: she was about to walk out, she said, come with me,

812
00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:46,760
Speaker 1: and she held my hand and we walked out into

813
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:50,759
Speaker 1: feel what is it fifty sixty thousand people screaming, not

814
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: for me, for her, and it was still in the dark.

815
00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:57,080
Speaker 1: It was overwhelming. I thought, no wonder these rock stars

816
00:42:57,120 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 1: have hard time coming back to life. To get that

817
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:04,400
Speaker 1: much input into your body and soul of adoration, mass

818
00:43:04,440 --> 00:43:08,120
Speaker 1: adoration by the multitudes. I don't know how one incorporates

819
00:43:08,160 --> 00:43:10,759
Speaker 1: that into being unless they do what you do. You

820
00:43:10,800 --> 00:43:12,759
Speaker 1: did and what I did. They took time at the

821
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:18,560
Speaker 1: height of their success and said I gotta pause, though, yes,

822
00:43:19,080 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: and people told me I was crazy because I left

823
00:43:21,120 --> 00:43:23,400
Speaker 1: all this money on the table and I felt like

824
00:43:23,440 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 1: you once you had X amount of money, If you

825
00:43:25,560 --> 00:43:29,000
Speaker 1: think you need x more, something's wrong with you. And

826
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 1: I really admire the fact that you were brave enough

827
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,919
Speaker 1: to do that when you did it, and now here

828
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,960
Speaker 1: you are with this phenomenal comeback record. And even though

829
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:39,799
Speaker 1: people don't like that name, I like it because you

830
00:43:39,840 --> 00:43:41,799
Speaker 1: took a break on your own volition. You know.

831
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:44,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, I came back and it's successful, So.

832
00:43:45,080 --> 00:43:48,080
Speaker 1: I'm better than ever. You're better than ever. Well, listen,

833
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,239
Speaker 1: I want to tell you something. I really admire you,

834
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:52,920
Speaker 1: and I am so happy that we have gotten to

835
00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,880
Speaker 1: know each other, and I want to wish you the

836
00:43:54,880 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 1: best I hope I get to see you at your concert,

837
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 1: but I understand what it's like when you're there. But

838
00:43:59,360 --> 00:44:02,000
Speaker 1: you're a one full young man and I would be

839
00:44:02,080 --> 00:44:04,200
Speaker 1: proud to say you were my son. I want you

840
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: to know that you're You're so oh honey, it's so true.

841
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,799
Speaker 1: And I love swimming and marinating in the truth of

842
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: your life and your music. And I'm just gonna do

843
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:18,080
Speaker 1: it more now because it fills me up. It really does.

844
00:44:18,239 --> 00:44:21,240
Speaker 1: And and I'm so thankful that you did my podcast, Bobby,

845
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:21,839
Speaker 1: I really am.

846
00:44:21,880 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 2: Course, it's my pleasure.

847
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:26,280
Speaker 1: Good luck with the baby, good luck with little Leon

848
00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:30,040
Speaker 1: coming in and anytime I'm gonna be texting you because

849
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: You're not gonna leave me. Now you're hooked for life.

850
00:44:32,200 --> 00:44:33,320
Speaker 1: I got you on my line.

851
00:44:33,640 --> 00:44:36,839
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, a million percent. Thank you for having me.

852
00:44:36,880 --> 00:44:39,680
Speaker 2: Thank you for being so sweet, so kind. You know

853
00:44:39,719 --> 00:44:42,879
Speaker 2: I now consider you a friend. Same. Of course, I'm

854
00:44:42,880 --> 00:44:44,279
Speaker 2: going to see you at the show. Are you kidding?

855
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,399
Speaker 2: You're gonna come backstage. I'm going to meet the kids. Yes,

856
00:44:46,440 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 2: we're gonna vibe totally in the friends and family section, chilling,

857
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:51,799
Speaker 2: super comfortable. It's going to be the best time. It's

858
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: gonna be a blast.

859
00:44:52,840 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: Well, thank you so much. I can't even tell you

860
00:44:55,120 --> 00:44:58,520
Speaker 1: what that means to me. Hey, don't go away A

861
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:15,520
Speaker 1: little more left? Okay, wasn't that great? I mean, come on,

862
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,239
Speaker 1: I just gotta say, I fell in love with this boy.

863
00:45:19,800 --> 00:45:22,160
Speaker 1: I know he's a man, but I'm in love with

864
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,279
Speaker 1: him and he's so great and I can't wait to

865
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:27,560
Speaker 1: see his concert and I'll tell you all about how

866
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 1: it went. Listen next week. Kick off Pride Month. June

867
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 1: is Pride month, Gay Pride, trans Pride, Pride for the

868
00:45:37,160 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: LBGTQIA community, of which I am a proud member. We

869
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:47,919
Speaker 1: kick off our Pride Month celebration with Holland Taylor. Don't

870
00:45:47,960 --> 00:45:51,160
Speaker 1: miss me chatting with Holland Taylor next week right here

871
00:45:51,200 --> 00:45:51,840
Speaker 1: on onward