WEBVTT - Talk Dirty To Me

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, viewers.

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<v Speaker 2>Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is an explicit podcast about queer sex.

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<v Speaker 2>Filter dirty words and unfiltered descriptions of sexual activities. If

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<v Speaker 2>hearing about orgies, anonymous sex, kink, fetish, and more offends

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<v Speaker 2>your sensibilities, you might want to skip this. Viewer discretion

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<v Speaker 2>is advised. It's definitely not for kids. Chris, Yes, would

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<v Speaker 2>you say you are a very verbal person when you're

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<v Speaker 2>in bed with someone.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm actually not.

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<v Speaker 3>I do a lot of talking outside of the bedroom,

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<v Speaker 3>and that's where I feel like I.

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<v Speaker 1>Can shut up. Though I do like nonverbal things of

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<v Speaker 1>like affirmation.

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<v Speaker 3>But I'm not like one of these people that like

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<v Speaker 3>has like a list of things that I say when

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<v Speaker 3>I'm engaged in the acts.

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<v Speaker 1>What about you, I would say, I am.

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<v Speaker 2>I like receiving encouragement and I like vocalizing when I

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<v Speaker 2>enjoy things. Yeah, but I would say that I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>like verbal, Like I think there's a lot there's like

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<v Speaker 2>porn verbal and there's like casual verbal. Yeah, And I

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<v Speaker 2>think some people think they've got to be like.

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<v Speaker 3>Porn verbal, yes, yeah, And I'm not into that yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>because it feels performative.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, for me, I'm like, oh, am I in

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<v Speaker 2>my college impropit group again, like do I need to yes?

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<v Speaker 1>And what's our setting?

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<v Speaker 2>What's your intention? What's my intention for me? I'm like

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<v Speaker 2>trying to do dramaturgy in my head that takes.

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<v Speaker 3>Me out of the space, and then I'm not into

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<v Speaker 3>it because then I'm like, we're living that drama.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I'm pretty against I'm a loud mouth in

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<v Speaker 2>all aspects of my life for you, and sex is

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<v Speaker 2>truly no different good for you, which does bring us

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<v Speaker 2>to the topic of today's episode. In sexual situations and spaces,

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<v Speaker 2>it can often seem like silence and nonverbal communication are

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<v Speaker 2>the most reliable way to let your partner know what

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<v Speaker 2>you want. After all, if you speak up, you do

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<v Speaker 2>risk ruining the mood or breaking the fantasy butt.

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<v Speaker 1>In today's episode, we're.

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<v Speaker 2>Going to teach you how to use the voice to

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<v Speaker 2>have better and hotter hookups.

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Stiffy's Cruising Confessions.

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<v Speaker 3>I Am Gabe goin, I'm Chris Patterson rosso Each week

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<v Speaker 3>weeks four, the sublime world of queer sex, cruising and

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<v Speaker 3>relationship will be talking to queer folks of all kinds,

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<v Speaker 3>ask them questions, swap sex stories, share intimate revelations.

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<v Speaker 4>A lot of us are discovering ourselves in cruising spaces.

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<v Speaker 5>This happened to me at this toilet stall in the

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<v Speaker 5>library or the airport.

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<v Speaker 6>I feel like everybody's gonna fuck a little harder here.

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<v Speaker 4>Damn.

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<v Speaker 1>So I've been like the neighborhood flat and I took

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<v Speaker 1>pride in that. I was so afraid but yet so intrigued.

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<v Speaker 7>And the more I gave him, the more he could take.

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<v Speaker 1>If you're having sex on Sniffy's, you already have a

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<v Speaker 1>moral deficit, Gabe.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, have you ever heard about verbal porn?

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<v Speaker 1>Like like, yah, fuck me harder like that?

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<v Speaker 2>Like, what's no, this is a little bit different. It's

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<v Speaker 2>like a subgenre. Yeah, okay, it's a little bit different.

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<v Speaker 1>So what it is.

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<v Speaker 3>It's audio tracks that are designed to take you to

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<v Speaker 3>an erotic headspace, right, so like people do these recordings.

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<v Speaker 3>It's almost like ASMR, but for like sex.

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<v Speaker 2>I was gonna say, it sounds like a like a

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<v Speaker 2>horny podcast. Yeah, but if so this one, Yeah, yeah, welcome.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe you're listening to verbal porn right now.

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<v Speaker 1>So here's the thing. We have some examples. Do you

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<v Speaker 1>want to hear a something?

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<v Speaker 4>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>Absolutely, Are you kidding? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 3>These are by induced Priapism who puts these tracks on Patreon.

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<v Speaker 3>So let's hear the first track. This is called happiness.

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<v Speaker 1>Spelled just sort of. Viewers called penis h A P

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<v Speaker 1>P E N. I s, Oh what you're doing there?

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<v Speaker 1>You a little masturbator? Are you masturbating?

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<v Speaker 7>Oh?

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<v Speaker 4>I couldn't sell because you see, happiness supposed to be fun. Wait,

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<v Speaker 4>and you don almost like you're having fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm in my head about it.

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<v Speaker 4>If you're having fun, you'd smile.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, I'm screaming it right now.

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<v Speaker 4>Just give me a little grin, the like.

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<v Speaker 3>Growishness, but then like the undertone of the happiness, my smile,

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<v Speaker 3>happiness smile.

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<v Speaker 2>Bigger people put up like YouTube videos of them doing

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<v Speaker 2>a hell on their own and you get like.

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<v Speaker 4>Figure there you go, Oh my god, I just want

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<v Speaker 4>you to have a big dopey grin while you watch

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<v Speaker 4>your porn while you touch yourself.

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<v Speaker 3>Kind it is kind Okay, that's enough of that.

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<v Speaker 2>I truly feel like I walked into the art gallery

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<v Speaker 2>of my college's art departments and the gay guy that

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<v Speaker 2>I've had a crush on for three years is like, Hey,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm doing my senior thesis projects and yeah, and.

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<v Speaker 1>This is it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's it's queer soundscapes to get you hard. I am

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<v Speaker 2>kind of obsessed. Also, this can't be easy to edit. No,

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<v Speaker 2>Like I know, I've seen a lot of videos on

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<v Speaker 2>porn streaming sites where people kind of egg you on,

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<v Speaker 2>Like there's like the Popper training videos to like verbal daters.

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<v Speaker 2>But this is really interesting because I don't think i've

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<v Speaker 2>ever heard like just audio trucks.

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<v Speaker 1>This is like a mantra.

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<v Speaker 2>I would start my morning with smile, smile when you masturbate.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what.

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<v Speaker 3>And I would play that as like a morning mantra.

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<v Speaker 3>I will not play it when I'm in my sexy mood.

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<v Speaker 2>No, yeah, you know I played before to like get

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<v Speaker 2>in the mindset like hours later.

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<v Speaker 1>But it's like you gotta start your day, start your

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<v Speaker 1>day with this.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm going to do that

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<v Speaker 2>later exactly exactly see where smiling.

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<v Speaker 1>So this was effective? Yeah it was. And you can't

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<v Speaker 1>tell but I am masturbating right now. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah it's wild. Okay, you want to hear another one?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh wow, yes, absolutely, yeah, this one is let porn

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<v Speaker 3>entertain you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it has okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Hey they're masturbate or I heard you're having trouble falling

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<v Speaker 4>in love with porn and I'm here to help you out.

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<v Speaker 4>It is completely normal for porn addicts to lose interest

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<v Speaker 4>in pornography from time to time. Normally it's your body

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<v Speaker 4>signaling you to do other.

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<v Speaker 1>Things, like other than the monks chanting in the background.

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<v Speaker 1>We both know they're changing chanting phography as.

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<v Speaker 8>You and so your only other option, of course, is

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<v Speaker 8>to find a new appreciation for porn, one that truly

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<v Speaker 8>compliments your porn addictive lifestyle.

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<v Speaker 4>First and foremost.

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<v Speaker 1>I need to sit back like a three B.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah gets that I would have had a crush on

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<v Speaker 2>in high school. Yeah, and then comes out years later,

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<v Speaker 2>and when we hook up in our hotel events.

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<v Speaker 4>From wanting to be more addicted to porn, you're just

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<v Speaker 4>taking your addiction way too seriously.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my goodness, I feel like I'm getting verbally done.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah that was.

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<v Speaker 9>Well, that wasn't an experience as a sober person talk

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<v Speaker 9>about your.

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<v Speaker 1>Triggered by this.

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<v Speaker 9>I was like, uh, should we be leaning into the

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<v Speaker 9>addictions of events? You gotta babes. Yeah, you can't be

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<v Speaker 9>calling in late because we're still jerking in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this has got to be like a very specific

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<v Speaker 2>maybe like fetish, right, having somebody like like kind of

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<v Speaker 2>enable you dom you into being like, oh, I'm like

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<v Speaker 2>wow over porn.

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<v Speaker 1>That's that's my impression. Yeah, that's what good is. Right,

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<v Speaker 1>let's go to the next track. I need to hear

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<v Speaker 1>this next one. So the next track is called how

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<v Speaker 1>I approach verbal Okay.

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<v Speaker 4>I just thought like I would teach you just how

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<v Speaker 4>to verbal bate just a little bit better. If you

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<v Speaker 4>can already hold a conversation while you masturbate, then you

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<v Speaker 4>should be fine and honestly.

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<v Speaker 1>Love doing Probably then just started.

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<v Speaker 4>May not live in a place where you can, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>be verbal when you masturbate. You may live with roommates

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<v Speaker 4>or family, and that's completely fine. Maybe someday you'll afford

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<v Speaker 4>your own apartment some day. This is so aspirational work

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<v Speaker 4>I love. And so first of all, you're gonna need

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<v Speaker 4>to masturbate. You're gonna need to touch yourself. Okay, that's

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<v Speaker 4>that feels very pleasurable. Yeah, do this by stroking your penis,

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<v Speaker 4>looping it up and stroking it really fast, or if

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<v Speaker 4>you finger your hole and digging around or you could

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<v Speaker 4>play with your nipples, or you can use the massage

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<v Speaker 4>or whatever you want to do. Just fucking masturbate, you know.

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<v Speaker 4>And step simple too, of course, would be you gotta

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<v Speaker 4>open your mouth. Oh you know, just open your mouth,

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<v Speaker 4>just let it slack, you know, just keep it open

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<v Speaker 4>so open that I could go in there and now

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<v Speaker 4>and I was like to have their mouth open with

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<v Speaker 4>drool coming out on the perch to say some stupid

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<v Speaker 4>ship around the verge, to say something that makes them

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<v Speaker 4>really horny. So keeping a nice open jaw, nice open

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<v Speaker 4>mouth is really fucking important for verbal then that's a

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<v Speaker 4>good first step to learning how to talk while you

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<v Speaker 4>masturbate is actually moaning a lot. It really is no

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<v Speaker 4>different than you know, somebody learning how to speak for

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<v Speaker 4>the first time. It really is just like penis speech therapy.

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<v Speaker 1>Just moan a lot, you know where and does medicaid

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<v Speaker 1>coverund come out and just moan.

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<v Speaker 4>That's that's a great first steps. Listen to the sound

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<v Speaker 4>of your voice. Feel how good it feels to talk

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<v Speaker 4>while you masturbate, To moan while you masturbate, really just

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<v Speaker 4>enjoy how your voice sounds and how your voice feels.

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<v Speaker 4>That's that's what most verbobaters get out of it, you know,

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<v Speaker 4>and I'd say the next natural step is moan while

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<v Speaker 4>your tongue's hanging out. You know, your tongue gets a

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<v Speaker 4>lot of use throughout the day. It gets really worn

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<v Speaker 4>out to particulate words and use it in different speech patterns.

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<v Speaker 4>And I can't very about dis muscles, so you know,

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<v Speaker 4>relaxing it just sticking your tongue out while you really

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<v Speaker 4>really pleasurable. You have to just stick it out and

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<v Speaker 4>go like, you know, you can just really try that out,

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<v Speaker 4>to just let it flop out of your mouth.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh what a journey. Yeah.

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<v Speaker 9>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>What I found interesting is that as he's breaking the

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<v Speaker 3>steps down, I'm like, oh, I could do this.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Is this the future of porn?

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<v Speaker 2>I love the idea of like porn on the go,

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<v Speaker 2>like yes, Like I could see someone listening to this

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<v Speaker 2>on the l train, Yes, and just not knowing and

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<v Speaker 2>having like a little secret to themselves.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know if we tried to make one of these,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you think it would sound like?

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<v Speaker 9>You do it?

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<v Speaker 1>Why not? Do you want to take like the main

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<v Speaker 1>role and I'll do the background sound. I'm much better

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<v Speaker 1>at the background. You're better. I love switch off. I

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<v Speaker 1>like the harmony. Let's find the harmony. Okay, you know

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<v Speaker 1>what I mean. You picked the note and I'll find

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<v Speaker 1>the harmony.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, great, Okay, so let's give it. Let's give it

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<v Speaker 2>a show. We kind of have to get close to

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<v Speaker 2>the mics for this one. Ah, you woke up this

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<v Speaker 2>morning this morning and realized you needed to run errands,

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<v Speaker 2>which is an unpleasant thing to do.

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<v Speaker 1>But then.

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<v Speaker 2>You walk into your bathroom thinking that you don't have

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<v Speaker 2>any toothpaste, only to find your boyfriend already woke up

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<v Speaker 2>and bought some.

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<v Speaker 1>Doesn't that cut you hard? It's the poetry. Now.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, thank you to Induce Priapism for this wonderful prompt

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<v Speaker 2>and auditory experience. Please check out his Patreon and Twitter

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<v Speaker 2>using the handle induced Priapism.

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<v Speaker 3>When we come back Toomic Dash shops by to talk

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<v Speaker 3>about what it means to be a verbal affectionate dom

0:11:48.360 --> 0:11:49.240
<v Speaker 3>see you after the break.

0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:55.120
<v Speaker 1>All right, y'all, welcome back. I am thrilled to welcome

0:11:55.160 --> 0:11:55.880
<v Speaker 1>our first guest.

0:11:56.320 --> 0:11:59.320
<v Speaker 3>Thoma Dash is a black, gay, left handed, near sighted,

0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:03.800
<v Speaker 3>outspoken entrepreneur, writer, activists, and sex worker. As the CEO

0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:07.719
<v Speaker 3>of fag Rag Magazine, he publishes Evocative Fine Art LGBTQI

0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:11.520
<v Speaker 3>plus magazines, which have editions in New York City, Fire Island,

0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.480
<v Speaker 3>and Provincetown. Toomic also serves as the executive director of

0:12:15.600 --> 0:12:18.800
<v Speaker 3>the Black and Brown Equity Coalition, a nonprofit advocating for

0:12:18.920 --> 0:12:21.600
<v Speaker 3>qtpo C equity on Fire Island.

0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:24.880
<v Speaker 1>And he also used to cut my hair. Yes, welcome topic.

0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:26.959
<v Speaker 1>That's like a pint tumple threat.

0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:30.600
<v Speaker 7>Right there is wild business card just says doing the most.

0:12:31.920 --> 0:12:34.200
<v Speaker 1>You know what I do the most?

0:12:34.360 --> 0:12:34.560
<v Speaker 9>Yeah?

0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:37.960
<v Speaker 7>Too much? In New York fashion, right truly.

0:12:38.559 --> 0:12:41.679
<v Speaker 2>Tomic, I saw that you describe yourself as a verbal

0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:45.360
<v Speaker 2>affectionate dom What does that mean to you exactly? And

0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:47.199
<v Speaker 2>how do you think that sort of describes not just

0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.000
<v Speaker 2>your voice, but like your sort of demeanor and energy

0:12:50.120 --> 0:12:53.000
<v Speaker 2>with other folks? I, like I said, I default to

0:12:53.080 --> 0:12:56.280
<v Speaker 2>being domb but when I do that, I also like to.

0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:02.400
<v Speaker 7>Shower my partner with affection like in between, right, So

0:13:02.559 --> 0:13:05.400
<v Speaker 7>I let them know the things that I'm going to

0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:07.360
<v Speaker 7>be getting into, like the things I might want to

0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:08.880
<v Speaker 7>say or the things that I might want to do.

0:13:09.320 --> 0:13:12.360
<v Speaker 7>I let them know that there is like a punishment

0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:15.160
<v Speaker 7>aspect and there's a reward aspect.

0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:21.520
<v Speaker 1>Right, Okay, yeah, we're looking hole for immunity.

0:13:24.400 --> 0:13:26.679
<v Speaker 7>So it's like, you know, I like telling guys what

0:13:26.800 --> 0:13:29.400
<v Speaker 7>to do. I like guys who can follow direction, and

0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:32.719
<v Speaker 7>so if they can't follow direction, there's going to be

0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:36.599
<v Speaker 7>some kind of like punishments involved. So when I approach that,

0:13:37.080 --> 0:13:41.080
<v Speaker 7>I like to invite the guy over and typically start

0:13:41.200 --> 0:13:42.400
<v Speaker 7>with punishments.

0:13:42.760 --> 0:13:50.680
<v Speaker 1>Right, Okay, yeah, a my co hosts perking up.

0:13:52.600 --> 0:13:54.440
<v Speaker 7>And the reason I like to do that is because,

0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.719
<v Speaker 7>like one, I'll go through the things that, like, you know,

0:13:56.800 --> 0:13:59.960
<v Speaker 7>punishment might intel in my intel slaps in the face,

0:14:00.320 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 7>it might Intel spanking, it might Intel flogging, it might intel.

0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:06.319
<v Speaker 7>You know, all these different kinds of things. And if

0:14:06.360 --> 0:14:08.240
<v Speaker 7>you say that you're into these things, and we can

0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:10.800
<v Speaker 7>start with the punishments, I like to start and let

0:14:11.000 --> 0:14:12.760
<v Speaker 7>you let me know if that's too much. So I

0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:16.200
<v Speaker 7>start light with all of them. Right. So I'll set

0:14:16.240 --> 0:14:18.920
<v Speaker 7>somebody down in front of me. Usually like guy gets

0:14:18.960 --> 0:14:21.160
<v Speaker 7>into like a sub position, like on their knees in

0:14:21.200 --> 0:14:22.840
<v Speaker 7>front of me, and I let them know. Okay, so

0:14:22.880 --> 0:14:26.360
<v Speaker 7>we're gonna start with punishments. I'm gonna start light with everything,

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:28.120
<v Speaker 7>and you let me know if I can go harder. Right,

0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:30.880
<v Speaker 7>And that's before we even start fucking. Sometimes my clothes

0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:35.280
<v Speaker 7>are still on, and so I'll start and I'll be like, Okay,

0:14:35.360 --> 0:14:37.640
<v Speaker 7>that's good. Can I do harder? Yes, I keep going harder.

0:14:37.920 --> 0:14:39.440
<v Speaker 7>And then when I get to like a threshold and

0:14:39.520 --> 0:14:41.440
<v Speaker 7>I know that when we actually do start fucking, this

0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:43.280
<v Speaker 7>is where I this is how hard I can go.

0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:45.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh wow, what a great in the heat of the moment,

0:14:45.760 --> 0:14:46.920
<v Speaker 1>we're not like figuring that out.

0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.560
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, because if you let me, I will slap the

0:14:49.560 --> 0:14:50.080
<v Speaker 7>shit out of you.

0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:57.400
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, let me introduce you to my mom. You

0:14:57.440 --> 0:14:59.840
<v Speaker 1>have a very similar ethos in life.

0:15:00.240 --> 0:15:03.760
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, yeah, and I and there have been times, like

0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:05.960
<v Speaker 7>in the heat of the moment where I have like

0:15:06.080 --> 0:15:08.160
<v Speaker 7>gone and slapped the ship as somebody. And I remember

0:15:08.800 --> 0:15:10.760
<v Speaker 7>with one guy who was like a friend for a

0:15:10.840 --> 0:15:13.320
<v Speaker 7>long time and like we ended up hooking up. This

0:15:13.520 --> 0:15:17.640
<v Speaker 7>was after I cut his hair, not you, this is

0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:24.360
<v Speaker 7>my sister. We were fucking and I just like, damn

0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:30.600
<v Speaker 7>well them and he like turned around like like a

0:15:30.840 --> 0:15:36.160
<v Speaker 7>mad woman in a telenovela, just like that shock right,

0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.120
<v Speaker 7>and he was like not my face and I was like,

0:15:39.360 --> 0:15:41.800
<v Speaker 7>I am so sorry, like it just kind of you know,

0:15:42.320 --> 0:15:43.880
<v Speaker 7>And that was like something in the moment where I

0:15:44.000 --> 0:15:45.600
<v Speaker 7>was like, Okay, I need to check myself on that,

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 7>you know. So yeah, having being able to start that

0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.200
<v Speaker 7>way is super helpful. It's also hot.

0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.960
<v Speaker 2>It is It's like a very sexy way to sort

0:15:56.040 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 2>of communicate what limits are, what is enjoyed and what

0:15:59.920 --> 0:16:01.720
<v Speaker 2>is not, and I think there are ways to do that.

0:16:01.760 --> 0:16:03.840
<v Speaker 2>Everybody's like, oh, do we really have to ask for

0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.520
<v Speaker 2>people to consent? And I was like, yeah, you do,

0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:08.040
<v Speaker 2>and it doesn't have to be like may I do this,

0:16:08.280 --> 0:16:09.960
<v Speaker 2>may I do that. It's like you can kind of

0:16:10.920 --> 0:16:14.040
<v Speaker 2>communicate very clearly about what's going to happen, make sure

0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:16.800
<v Speaker 2>folks are okay with it, gauge where limits are, and

0:16:16.960 --> 0:16:19.800
<v Speaker 2>then start playing. Like that sounds like a really lovely

0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.160
<v Speaker 2>and very hot way to engage in four play especially.

0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.040
<v Speaker 1>I was just going to say, it's like, it's really

0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:25.760
<v Speaker 1>hot for play.

0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:29.440
<v Speaker 7>Also, some guys don't think that they're into something, but

0:16:29.520 --> 0:16:32.040
<v Speaker 7>if you say you're going to start really lightly like,

0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:33.880
<v Speaker 7>they try it and they're like, oh wait.

0:16:33.880 --> 0:16:35.080
<v Speaker 1>A little light bulb goes off.

0:16:35.280 --> 0:16:39.400
<v Speaker 7>Yeah wait a minute, Yeah, I feel like I'm going

0:16:39.440 --> 0:16:42.640
<v Speaker 7>to start with playful slaps. Then guys are like, okay, yeah,

0:16:42.680 --> 0:16:44.520
<v Speaker 7>I can try that and then before you know it,

0:16:44.560 --> 0:16:47.120
<v Speaker 7>they're like, oh yeah, keep going, keep going. I'm like, okay, cool,

0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.080
<v Speaker 7>we just unlocked a new level.

0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:56.120
<v Speaker 3>Yes, I'm really bad at the sex talk, but I

0:16:56.160 --> 0:16:57.160
<v Speaker 3>would like to get better at that.

0:16:57.200 --> 0:16:58.360
<v Speaker 1>How do you suggest I start that?

0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:01.520
<v Speaker 7>There's two ways you could do that.

0:17:01.680 --> 0:17:02.160
<v Speaker 1>I think.

0:17:04.680 --> 0:17:05.120
<v Speaker 6>One way.

0:17:07.760 --> 0:17:11.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like you just five more ways. While you

0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:12.159
<v Speaker 1>were thinking about.

0:17:14.640 --> 0:17:17.800
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I was gonna say one way you could be

0:17:17.920 --> 0:17:24.320
<v Speaker 7>like in the mirror, yeah, before somebody broke in a

0:17:26.800 --> 0:17:29.080
<v Speaker 7>you know, before somebody comes over, hype yourself up and

0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.680
<v Speaker 7>just like practice it. I think another good way to

0:17:31.760 --> 0:17:36.800
<v Speaker 7>do it is to hook up with somebody who is verbal.

0:17:37.280 --> 0:17:39.920
<v Speaker 7>You know. One thing I really love to do is

0:17:40.080 --> 0:17:43.320
<v Speaker 7>make guys repeat stuff after me, especially guys who like

0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.760
<v Speaker 7>aren't verbal. Yeah, and if they're like nervous about it,

0:17:46.800 --> 0:17:48.359
<v Speaker 7>maybe I'll make them do it with their mouthful so

0:17:48.440 --> 0:17:49.720
<v Speaker 7>the full words don't have to come out.

0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:54.640
<v Speaker 1>You're like, I'm helping, Yeah, of course. Yeah.

0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:59.160
<v Speaker 7>I really love making guys talk with their mouth Okay, okay, yeah,

0:17:59.359 --> 0:18:03.840
<v Speaker 7>I love what right? And sometimes like guys are really

0:18:04.000 --> 0:18:06.320
<v Speaker 7>kind of like timid about it, you know, like say

0:18:06.440 --> 0:18:08.280
<v Speaker 7>something and be like, you know, even if it's easy

0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:10.800
<v Speaker 7>like say thank you, you know, and they'll just kind

0:18:10.840 --> 0:18:12.560
<v Speaker 7>of like look at me, and I'll be like say

0:18:12.640 --> 0:18:14.959
<v Speaker 7>thank you, you know, until they do it, and then

0:18:15.000 --> 0:18:17.240
<v Speaker 7>it's just like eventually they're like, Okay, this is what

0:18:17.320 --> 0:18:18.840
<v Speaker 7>we're doing, and then they get into it. So I

0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:21.560
<v Speaker 7>think that's another way to like, you know, get like

0:18:21.640 --> 0:18:23.800
<v Speaker 7>hook up with someone who is verbal yah and can

0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:24.760
<v Speaker 7>like bring that out of you.

0:18:25.119 --> 0:18:28.119
<v Speaker 2>I'm curious, do you have sort of a persona that

0:18:28.240 --> 0:18:30.439
<v Speaker 2>you take on when you are doming that is different

0:18:30.520 --> 0:18:32.399
<v Speaker 2>than Tomic in real life that helps you kind of

0:18:32.440 --> 0:18:33.400
<v Speaker 2>be less self conscious?

0:18:34.240 --> 0:18:38.240
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I mean Tomic in real life is total like pussy,

0:18:38.560 --> 0:18:47.800
<v Speaker 7>like serving pussy. Clarify that. Yeah, my persona is my

0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:51.280
<v Speaker 7>daytime persona is very different than my in the bedroom persona.

0:18:51.520 --> 0:18:54.000
<v Speaker 7>Like there is a code switch that happens for sure,

0:18:55.800 --> 0:18:57.840
<v Speaker 7>And I don't know how that happened, you know, I

0:18:57.880 --> 0:19:01.280
<v Speaker 7>don't I was into it for I got into sex work.

0:19:02.280 --> 0:19:06.560
<v Speaker 7>It may have come from just like watching porn and

0:19:07.520 --> 0:19:11.000
<v Speaker 7>also like seeing the way like black tops are portrayed

0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:12.840
<v Speaker 7>in porn and maybe me have feeling like there is

0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.239
<v Speaker 7>an expectation for like the way I should show up

0:19:15.960 --> 0:19:17.800
<v Speaker 7>and kind of like leaning into that and then I

0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:19.520
<v Speaker 7>just maybe kind of like stuck with it and like

0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:23.080
<v Speaker 7>ended up enjoying it. I don't I don't know how

0:19:23.200 --> 0:19:27.200
<v Speaker 7>to you know, tell someone to how to switch into

0:19:27.280 --> 0:19:30.720
<v Speaker 7>that into that mode, you know, because if you don't

0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:33.120
<v Speaker 7>own it, it's very obvious.

0:19:33.400 --> 0:19:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know.

0:19:34.680 --> 0:19:38.240
<v Speaker 7>I saw this one interview with Jill Scott on The

0:19:38.280 --> 0:19:40.960
<v Speaker 7>Breakfast Club and she was talking about how she's like

0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:45.840
<v Speaker 7>such like a dominating woman, right, and she's like, you

0:19:45.920 --> 0:19:47.520
<v Speaker 7>can't just be like a man who comes in and

0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.040
<v Speaker 7>like tries to just like tries to tell me what

0:19:50.240 --> 0:19:52.080
<v Speaker 7>She's like, if you can tell me what to do,

0:19:52.240 --> 0:19:54.040
<v Speaker 7>you can tell me what to do, but if you

0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:56.200
<v Speaker 7>cannot tell me what to do, you cannot tell me

0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:56.720
<v Speaker 7>what to do.

0:19:57.200 --> 0:20:02.000
<v Speaker 1>And it's but yeah, such a It's like I'm like,

0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:04.000
<v Speaker 1>you know that makes sense, Yeah, truck.

0:20:04.480 --> 0:20:06.800
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, Like it's not hot if like someone's coming in

0:20:06.920 --> 0:20:09.080
<v Speaker 7>and like trying to like play this role and being

0:20:09.160 --> 0:20:12.360
<v Speaker 7>like trying to be a dom it's like girl, yeah.

0:20:13.760 --> 0:20:18.200
<v Speaker 1>Right, And that's maybe the response I get. Okay, girl,

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:20.760
<v Speaker 1>I didn't know it was you taking off the blind hole.

0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:26.440
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, that's not saying don't try it, you know. I

0:20:26.520 --> 0:20:29.879
<v Speaker 7>feel like there's always hopefully someone where you can like

0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:32.320
<v Speaker 7>go into a space where you're comfortable with exploring things.

0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:35.200
<v Speaker 7>Maybe it's not something that you should be trying with

0:20:35.359 --> 0:20:37.760
<v Speaker 7>like a one off, you know, but if there's someone

0:20:37.800 --> 0:20:41.040
<v Speaker 7>who like you, are regular with or comfortable with and

0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:43.240
<v Speaker 7>they want to like try something new, then try that.

0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.080
<v Speaker 1>If you were going to tell me to do something,

0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:48.000
<v Speaker 1>how would you tell me to do something?

0:20:49.280 --> 0:20:50.399
<v Speaker 7>What if I tell gable to do?

0:20:50.520 --> 0:20:54.440
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Oh, this will be interesting, this will be very interesting.

0:20:54.960 --> 0:20:56.600
<v Speaker 1>All right, I'm gonna I'm gonna Jill Scott.

0:20:56.600 --> 0:20:56.639
<v Speaker 7>You.

0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:58.840
<v Speaker 1>I was like, if you can't tell me what to do,

0:20:59.000 --> 0:20:59.920
<v Speaker 1>you can't tell me what to do.

0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:04.440
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, get on your fucking knees. Okay, yeah, okay,

0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:06.800
<v Speaker 2>yeah would you? Yeah you just get you get a

0:21:06.960 --> 0:21:08.800
<v Speaker 2>you add a fucking and you say it with vigor.

0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:13.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's like it ran, I have to own it. Yeah. Yeah,

0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:16.080
<v Speaker 1>I can never fully commit, you know, but I meant to.

0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:16.840
<v Speaker 6>Okay for real.

0:21:17.280 --> 0:21:24.320
<v Speaker 1>Oh, these aren't my genes. I'm sorry, these aren't my genes.

0:21:24.600 --> 0:21:30.440
<v Speaker 1>She's like to give them back time. I'm curious.

0:21:30.480 --> 0:21:33.520
<v Speaker 2>I feel like enthusiastic consent is a phrase Wese often

0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:36.400
<v Speaker 2>these days, it's relatively new to describe something that people

0:21:36.440 --> 0:21:39.159
<v Speaker 2>have been doing for a long time. How besides the

0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:41.960
<v Speaker 2>sort of preamble for play that you told us about,

0:21:42.480 --> 0:21:45.639
<v Speaker 2>do you think of incorporating enthusiastic consent both into your

0:21:45.680 --> 0:21:46.960
<v Speaker 2>work and your personal life.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:49.639
<v Speaker 7>I always like to do check ins, you know, so

0:21:49.800 --> 0:21:51.520
<v Speaker 7>like in the middle of things, Like even if we

0:21:51.640 --> 0:21:54.080
<v Speaker 7>did kind of like agree to something in the beginning.

0:21:53.760 --> 0:21:55.080
<v Speaker 1>It's just like, how are we doing?

0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.600
<v Speaker 7>Like throwing that in there, it's like doesn't break character,

0:21:58.720 --> 0:22:01.320
<v Speaker 7>it doesn't make anything weird. But just like doing that

0:22:01.400 --> 0:22:05.080
<v Speaker 7>little check in, it's like very helpful, and it keeps

0:22:05.080 --> 0:22:07.399
<v Speaker 7>everybody like feeling like, Okay, this is good. We can

0:22:07.480 --> 0:22:11.640
<v Speaker 7>keep going, you know. Yeah, and yeah, I think that's

0:22:11.680 --> 0:22:13.000
<v Speaker 7>what I think. It's just a good check in is

0:22:13.000 --> 0:22:14.439
<v Speaker 7>always always very helpful.

0:22:14.720 --> 0:22:16.399
<v Speaker 1>I love that. That's a really good piece of advice.

0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:18.800
<v Speaker 7>I also like to check in during breaks, because that's

0:22:18.840 --> 0:22:20.480
<v Speaker 7>when like the demeanor comes down.

0:22:20.720 --> 0:22:20.879
<v Speaker 4>You know.

0:22:21.040 --> 0:22:24.080
<v Speaker 7>It's like if we're like laying there and like taking

0:22:24.080 --> 0:22:26.240
<v Speaker 7>a little break and like making out or something, it's

0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:27.800
<v Speaker 7>just like, how are we doing? You know, is there

0:22:27.800 --> 0:22:32.320
<v Speaker 7>anything you don't like? I also like to tell guys like,

0:22:32.560 --> 0:22:35.879
<v Speaker 7>don't feel like you have to endure anything, Like the

0:22:36.000 --> 0:22:39.639
<v Speaker 7>point of this is for you to be experiencing pleasure too. Like,

0:22:40.040 --> 0:22:42.320
<v Speaker 7>I know it feels like this is very me centric,

0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:44.320
<v Speaker 7>but I want to make sure that you are having

0:22:44.359 --> 0:22:46.760
<v Speaker 7>a good time because that is also what like gets

0:22:46.800 --> 0:22:49.359
<v Speaker 7>me off, and we should both be having a good

0:22:49.400 --> 0:22:53.520
<v Speaker 7>time here, right, Yeah, So I think that's another great

0:22:53.600 --> 0:22:57.239
<v Speaker 7>reason for breaks, and that's another great time to make

0:22:57.280 --> 0:23:00.840
<v Speaker 7>sure that everybody is consenting and having a good time.

0:23:01.200 --> 0:23:02.280
<v Speaker 2>And I think at the end of the day that

0:23:02.359 --> 0:23:05.480
<v Speaker 2>still is a form of enthusiastic consent, right, regardless of

0:23:05.520 --> 0:23:09.320
<v Speaker 2>the however enthusiastic the delivery sounds. You're taking the time

0:23:09.440 --> 0:23:12.520
<v Speaker 2>to like check in during the act, take breaks, and

0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:13.840
<v Speaker 2>like drop the persona.

0:23:14.280 --> 0:23:16.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean, this is something I love doing. Like just

0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:18.600
<v Speaker 1>looking down at somebody where you're sucking them, being like

0:23:18.720 --> 0:23:19.640
<v Speaker 1>you good? Is this cool?

0:23:20.200 --> 0:23:23.600
<v Speaker 2>And hearing the very excited yes is to me kind

0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:25.640
<v Speaker 2>of a turn on, but it's also a great moment.

0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:27.760
<v Speaker 2>So there are just so many places and ways that

0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:31.320
<v Speaker 2>you can check in during sex, especially with like subdom

0:23:31.440 --> 0:23:34.000
<v Speaker 2>play and like kind of like more physical play. I

0:23:34.040 --> 0:23:35.680
<v Speaker 2>think those things are really important. And the fact that

0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:38.240
<v Speaker 2>you have like a practice and a system. I think

0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:40.280
<v Speaker 2>says a lot about how much care you put into it,

0:23:40.359 --> 0:23:40.640
<v Speaker 2>for sure.

0:23:41.080 --> 0:23:46.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, part of that can verbo veer towards being corny.

0:23:48.080 --> 0:23:50.880
<v Speaker 7>If you don't own it. Yeah. A couple of weeks ago,

0:23:50.960 --> 0:23:56.120
<v Speaker 7>I went to a sex party and there's this one

0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:59.360
<v Speaker 7>guy who was just kind of like yeah, fuck yeah

0:24:00.040 --> 0:24:02.199
<v Speaker 7>fuck him, you know, and I'm just like.

0:24:03.480 --> 0:24:06.560
<v Speaker 1>Can you not please you know, that's the best way

0:24:06.600 --> 0:24:07.240
<v Speaker 1>to clear a room.

0:24:07.440 --> 0:24:12.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, honestly, they should bring in that guy at three

0:24:12.520 --> 0:24:15.359
<v Speaker 2>point fifty nine every bar.

0:24:17.520 --> 0:24:18.040
<v Speaker 4>Fuck true.

0:24:18.960 --> 0:24:22.800
<v Speaker 1>I was like, what are you dumb? Yeah, but I

0:24:22.880 --> 0:24:24.600
<v Speaker 1>will say for I mean, I remember when I was

0:24:24.720 --> 0:24:25.200
<v Speaker 1>editing porn.

0:24:25.240 --> 0:24:27.439
<v Speaker 2>I'd be going through the footage sometimes and I think

0:24:27.480 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 2>when people run out of things to say but want

0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:32.159
<v Speaker 2>to feel like they're like I'm putting my all into it,

0:24:32.560 --> 0:24:32.840
<v Speaker 2>what you.

0:24:32.920 --> 0:24:37.560
<v Speaker 3>Get is just fuck fuck yeah fuck fuck yeah.

0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:39.120
<v Speaker 1>It's like just a series of funcks.

0:24:39.119 --> 0:24:40.640
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, we gotta we need to whip

0:24:40.680 --> 0:24:43.280
<v Speaker 2>out a physaurus, baby, like we need un vocabulary. I

0:24:43.359 --> 0:24:45.760
<v Speaker 2>need some Like it doesn't even feel like they're responding

0:24:45.960 --> 0:24:47.840
<v Speaker 2>to what's happening. It just feels like they're going into

0:24:47.920 --> 0:24:50.720
<v Speaker 2>sort of an automated It's like straightcorn like that.

0:24:50.920 --> 0:24:52.879
<v Speaker 7>Is like such a straightcorn thing to do. Like I

0:24:52.960 --> 0:24:55.000
<v Speaker 7>feel like we don't do that as much in like

0:24:55.119 --> 0:24:58.240
<v Speaker 7>gay porn, Like it's more authentic, it's more real and

0:24:58.359 --> 0:25:01.000
<v Speaker 7>like when you can tell when it's not totally.

0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:03.119
<v Speaker 3>Well, Atomic, thank you so much for stopping by. It

0:25:03.280 --> 0:25:04.560
<v Speaker 3>is really good to see your face.

0:25:05.320 --> 0:25:06.720
<v Speaker 7>Good to see you. Thank you for having me.

0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:08.480
<v Speaker 1>Of course, where can people find you?

0:25:09.359 --> 0:25:12.639
<v Speaker 7>I am at toomic T O M I K to

0:25:12.920 --> 0:25:15.960
<v Speaker 7>the number two point oh p O I N T

0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:18.359
<v Speaker 7>zero on everything.

0:25:18.119 --> 0:25:21.560
<v Speaker 1>On everything right across the world. Awesome. Well, thanks so

0:25:21.640 --> 0:25:24.000
<v Speaker 1>much for coming in. We love that consistency.

0:25:24.359 --> 0:25:25.879
<v Speaker 2>And when we come back, we are going to be

0:25:25.960 --> 0:25:29.000
<v Speaker 2>talking with a very notable and very sexy Daddy is

0:25:29.040 --> 0:25:31.040
<v Speaker 2>going to teach us about a new sex practice that

0:25:31.080 --> 0:25:34.080
<v Speaker 2>will help you better communicate with yourself.

0:25:35.520 --> 0:25:36.960
<v Speaker 1>Oh god, what is that like?

0:25:41.160 --> 0:25:41.879
<v Speaker 9>On exposure?

0:25:49.320 --> 0:25:50.840
<v Speaker 1>Welcome back our final guest.

0:25:50.920 --> 0:25:54.800
<v Speaker 2>Deale Corpino found his confessional voice at Queer Underground Literary Salons,

0:25:54.800 --> 0:25:57.680
<v Speaker 2>where he first started reading his salacious writing about his

0:25:57.800 --> 0:26:01.440
<v Speaker 2>youth spent as an object of lawe. His debut novel,

0:26:01.600 --> 0:26:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Bonds and Boundaries was just published, and it's a collection

0:26:04.280 --> 0:26:08.119
<v Speaker 2>of short stories which explore conflicts between chosen and biological families,

0:26:08.480 --> 0:26:11.800
<v Speaker 2>sex work interactions, and the afterlives queer people must often

0:26:11.880 --> 0:26:16.400
<v Speaker 2>build over displacement and loss. For decades, Dale has kept

0:26:16.800 --> 0:26:20.160
<v Speaker 2>meticulous records of his own sexual history in sex journals,

0:26:20.520 --> 0:26:24.639
<v Speaker 2>some of which inspired the stories in Bonds and Boundaries. Welcome,

0:26:24.800 --> 0:26:25.480
<v Speaker 2>Dale Corvino.

0:26:25.600 --> 0:26:26.080
<v Speaker 1>How are you doing.

0:26:26.440 --> 0:26:28.320
<v Speaker 6>I'm doing great. Thanks for having me over.

0:26:28.800 --> 0:26:30.359
<v Speaker 1>Talk to us a little bit about the book.

0:26:30.800 --> 0:26:33.040
<v Speaker 6>I'm so excited about this book. It came out in October.

0:26:33.200 --> 0:26:36.119
<v Speaker 5>It's a collection of short stories which I've been working

0:26:36.160 --> 0:26:38.520
<v Speaker 5>on over a decade, and there's a level of auto

0:26:38.600 --> 0:26:40.560
<v Speaker 5>fiction in all of them, Like they're pulled from my

0:26:40.680 --> 0:26:44.240
<v Speaker 5>real experiences. I'm processing my childhood trauma as a queer

0:26:44.320 --> 0:26:47.879
<v Speaker 5>gen xer. I'm processing my sex work interactions, the loss

0:26:47.960 --> 0:26:50.280
<v Speaker 5>that you experienced inevitably when you get to be somebody

0:26:50.640 --> 0:26:54.359
<v Speaker 5>my age, like processing the grief of those losses. So like,

0:26:54.640 --> 0:26:58.000
<v Speaker 5>that's what I think of as afterlives. The middle section

0:26:58.480 --> 0:27:02.840
<v Speaker 5>is actually all sex work interactions and characters and scenarios,

0:27:03.400 --> 0:27:05.800
<v Speaker 5>and that's those are all pulled directly from my sex

0:27:05.840 --> 0:27:08.520
<v Speaker 5>work diaries because I was like a by the hour

0:27:08.680 --> 0:27:11.080
<v Speaker 5>hustler in the early two thousands, and.

0:27:11.119 --> 0:27:12.359
<v Speaker 6>I made a fabulous living.

0:27:12.560 --> 0:27:15.480
<v Speaker 5>So I started journaling diary keeping just to keep sane

0:27:15.640 --> 0:27:17.920
<v Speaker 5>through it all and also like to keep an account

0:27:18.000 --> 0:27:20.040
<v Speaker 5>of what I was picking up, like learning.

0:27:20.480 --> 0:27:23.240
<v Speaker 3>I love this idea of taking Jordan winters and writing

0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:25.080
<v Speaker 3>them to sort of stories. I kind of wish that

0:27:25.119 --> 0:27:28.520
<v Speaker 3>I had done that. I'm currently writing my book and

0:27:28.640 --> 0:27:31.280
<v Speaker 3>I kind of I have forgotten so much, but I

0:27:31.400 --> 0:27:31.639
<v Speaker 3>love this.

0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:33.720
<v Speaker 1>I think it's just really really powerful work.

0:27:33.920 --> 0:27:36.960
<v Speaker 5>I wanted a depiction of a sex worker that was

0:27:37.160 --> 0:27:40.040
<v Speaker 5>like a little more real to my experience because a

0:27:40.119 --> 0:27:43.520
<v Speaker 5>lot of the depictions in lit are like damaged or

0:27:43.720 --> 0:27:46.400
<v Speaker 5>drug addicted or like seeking needing redemption.

0:27:49.760 --> 0:27:52.000
<v Speaker 1>You were like, on my journal, this is me.

0:27:54.280 --> 0:27:56.159
<v Speaker 5>And all of those things can be true, but it

0:27:56.280 --> 0:27:59.080
<v Speaker 5>was not my experience. So I'm just trying to like

0:27:59.720 --> 0:28:04.520
<v Speaker 5>bring a different representation, like for me, honestly by that

0:28:04.600 --> 0:28:08.160
<v Speaker 5>our sex work was my redemption, Like it really helped

0:28:08.200 --> 0:28:10.120
<v Speaker 5>me to understand my place in the world.

0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:11.359
<v Speaker 6>Strangely enough, No.

0:28:11.520 --> 0:28:13.760
<v Speaker 1>I love that you've printed out some of your sex journals.

0:28:13.840 --> 0:28:14.520
<v Speaker 2>I sure have.

0:28:14.920 --> 0:28:17.600
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I mean, like I just wrote one from I

0:28:17.640 --> 0:28:20.119
<v Speaker 5>went on this six city book tour and as a

0:28:20.240 --> 0:28:23.879
<v Speaker 5>matter of fact, I had a Sniffy's enabled hookup in

0:28:24.200 --> 0:28:25.119
<v Speaker 5>five of those six.

0:28:25.240 --> 0:28:27.639
<v Speaker 1>Would you look at that's a great ratio? Yeah, very

0:28:28.400 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 1>that's very good.

0:28:29.480 --> 0:28:32.240
<v Speaker 5>And one one I r L encounter which happened at

0:28:32.240 --> 0:28:34.960
<v Speaker 5>a bar, which was like a cute throwback right, so

0:28:35.000 --> 0:28:35.960
<v Speaker 5>if you want, I can read you.

0:28:37.200 --> 0:28:38.000
<v Speaker 1>Love to hear this?

0:28:38.240 --> 0:28:38.440
<v Speaker 4>Yeah?

0:28:38.440 --> 0:28:38.720
<v Speaker 6>Please?

0:28:39.360 --> 0:28:41.880
<v Speaker 5>This was super last minute. I was invited by a

0:28:41.960 --> 0:28:44.880
<v Speaker 5>close friend to participate in this sex worker festival and

0:28:44.960 --> 0:28:47.000
<v Speaker 5>it was organized by sex workers who had figured it

0:28:47.040 --> 0:28:51.120
<v Speaker 5>all out like the week before. They screened an amazing

0:28:51.240 --> 0:28:54.640
<v Speaker 5>documentary and some really strong short films in progress. I

0:28:54.800 --> 0:28:57.920
<v Speaker 5>was invited to read in the literary program set in

0:28:57.960 --> 0:29:01.120
<v Speaker 5>a somewhat grimy but charming theater today on Town. When

0:29:01.120 --> 0:29:04.920
<v Speaker 5>I got there, I said, this place smells like cheetos

0:29:05.040 --> 0:29:09.800
<v Speaker 5>and weed, and one of the organizers said, welcome to Tucson.

0:29:12.920 --> 0:29:15.120
<v Speaker 5>After the festival, I started chatting with this guy on

0:29:15.200 --> 0:29:18.400
<v Speaker 5>Sniffy's Hello, which is Matt based, so you know it

0:29:18.480 --> 0:29:22.959
<v Speaker 5>appeals to my travel logistics oriented mind. I was chatting

0:29:23.000 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 5>with this solidly built Mexican stud whose position relative to

0:29:26.280 --> 0:29:29.920
<v Speaker 5>mine was close but ever changing. Turned out he worked

0:29:29.920 --> 0:29:33.400
<v Speaker 5>in a nearby body shop and was running errands. He

0:29:33.640 --> 0:29:36.720
<v Speaker 5>was discreet with the photos he shared, which I'm usually

0:29:36.760 --> 0:29:39.479
<v Speaker 5>not about, but the ones he did share were enticing.

0:29:40.400 --> 0:29:44.360
<v Speaker 5>One photo of a thick, purplish bushy cock, a tight,

0:29:44.440 --> 0:29:47.160
<v Speaker 5>hairy Torso I got him to come over, and he

0:29:47.160 --> 0:29:50.240
<v Speaker 5>wouldn't let me put it in my mouth. But we

0:29:50.320 --> 0:29:52.440
<v Speaker 5>got on the bed, pulled down our pants, pulled up

0:29:52.480 --> 0:29:55.640
<v Speaker 5>our shirts, and stroked each other's cocks while looking intently

0:29:55.840 --> 0:29:59.680
<v Speaker 5>into each other's eyes, his brown and glassy like agot.

0:30:00.320 --> 0:30:02.400
<v Speaker 5>He wanted more, and I told him I'd be back soon,

0:30:02.680 --> 0:30:03.880
<v Speaker 5>But I'm not even sure that's true.

0:30:07.960 --> 0:30:10.480
<v Speaker 3>The way we say that, yeah, no, I'll be back,

0:30:10.520 --> 0:30:14.560
<v Speaker 3>I probably yeah, I'm never where else can you go?

0:30:15.520 --> 0:30:15.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm not.

0:30:16.800 --> 0:30:18.840
<v Speaker 2>I also love the idea of a discreet guy being like,

0:30:19.200 --> 0:30:21.840
<v Speaker 2>putting my dick in your mouth is perhaps too intimate,

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:24.760
<v Speaker 2>but sitting next to you and masturbating and looking at

0:30:24.800 --> 0:30:25.520
<v Speaker 2>you is not.

0:30:26.320 --> 0:30:31.240
<v Speaker 5>It was strangely more intimate than like the standard procedures.

0:30:31.480 --> 0:30:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Totally, yeah, for sure. How many of these sex journals

0:30:34.080 --> 0:30:34.440
<v Speaker 1>do you have?

0:30:34.960 --> 0:30:38.880
<v Speaker 5>Oh gosh, okay, so can we look for for decades?

0:30:38.960 --> 0:30:42.200
<v Speaker 5>This is These are the tranporium reports, So for decades

0:30:42.400 --> 0:30:48.240
<v Speaker 5>like that's that's probably a full decade of travel sex

0:30:49.000 --> 0:30:50.120
<v Speaker 5>Travel Sex Diaries.

0:30:50.400 --> 0:30:51.880
<v Speaker 1>There's pictures, Yeah.

0:30:51.680 --> 0:30:52.240
<v Speaker 6>There's pictures.

0:30:52.280 --> 0:30:56.080
<v Speaker 1>There are screen shots, most of those.

0:30:56.280 --> 0:30:59.920
<v Speaker 5>That really actually that whole thing tracks from like Craigslist

0:31:00.040 --> 0:31:02.360
<v Speaker 5>hook ups, Craigslist, M for M hook us to the

0:31:02.520 --> 0:31:07.200
<v Speaker 5>house and in all these different US cities and amazing.

0:31:07.360 --> 0:31:09.280
<v Speaker 5>The way it got the the way I got started

0:31:09.320 --> 0:31:11.040
<v Speaker 5>with that is I have this friend he was like

0:31:11.240 --> 0:31:12.920
<v Speaker 5>one day I ran into him and he was like, so,

0:31:13.160 --> 0:31:14.480
<v Speaker 5>how's the Tramporium?

0:31:15.040 --> 0:31:17.640
<v Speaker 1>And I was like, what is that?

0:31:18.640 --> 0:31:20.680
<v Speaker 5>And he was like, you know, the Tramporium. It's like

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:24.440
<v Speaker 5>the sphere of trampiness that you go travels with you

0:31:24.480 --> 0:31:27.240
<v Speaker 5>where we go. And I was like, whoa, that's intense.

0:31:27.480 --> 0:31:29.480
<v Speaker 5>So I decided that I was going to write the

0:31:29.920 --> 0:31:35.040
<v Speaker 5>sex Diaries as reports to the Tramporium, which I this

0:31:35.160 --> 0:31:37.000
<v Speaker 5>is I kind of defined as a kind of quasi

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:39.360
<v Speaker 5>governmental body that overseas.

0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:41.760
<v Speaker 6>The sexual system came out this great. So they're written

0:31:41.840 --> 0:31:43.200
<v Speaker 6>as like official reports.

0:31:43.320 --> 0:31:45.120
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, this is I love this.

0:31:45.240 --> 0:31:47.680
<v Speaker 2>You you write on page eight, this report is submitted

0:31:47.680 --> 0:31:50.840
<v Speaker 2>to the Tramporium in hopes of its acceptance into the record.

0:31:51.160 --> 0:31:55.120
<v Speaker 2>Everything recounted here is one hundred percent unembellished truth down.

0:31:55.400 --> 0:31:55.880
<v Speaker 1>I love it.

0:31:57.280 --> 0:31:57.960
<v Speaker 5>I love.

0:31:59.440 --> 0:32:02.600
<v Speaker 2>No fictive memories here, bitch, I remember that dick with

0:32:02.800 --> 0:32:03.520
<v Speaker 2>great detail.

0:32:03.680 --> 0:32:06.320
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, I mean I was really holding myself accountable to

0:32:06.800 --> 0:32:08.280
<v Speaker 5>no embellishments.

0:32:08.400 --> 0:32:10.800
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I like that. Do you feel obligated to do

0:32:10.880 --> 0:32:13.040
<v Speaker 1>that more with your sex journals than with your writing.

0:32:13.160 --> 0:32:13.600
<v Speaker 6>In the book.

0:32:13.760 --> 0:32:17.760
<v Speaker 5>There are definitely embellishments. There are things that didn't happen.

0:32:17.840 --> 0:32:22.200
<v Speaker 5>There are like fictional departures from a baseline of truth.

0:32:22.480 --> 0:32:25.120
<v Speaker 5>Some of the stories are like almost happened verbatim, And

0:32:25.200 --> 0:32:28.680
<v Speaker 5>I think that's the freedom of fiction. But I like having, like,

0:32:29.280 --> 0:32:33.000
<v Speaker 5>at least my processes. I'm kind of grounded in my

0:32:34.280 --> 0:32:38.000
<v Speaker 5>diary keeping, which I think, whether it's sex writing or

0:32:38.280 --> 0:32:40.560
<v Speaker 5>other writing, is like, at least for me, it's a

0:32:40.640 --> 0:32:43.600
<v Speaker 5>level of accountability. I used to try to write things

0:32:43.680 --> 0:32:45.600
<v Speaker 5>like when I went through college, I used to try

0:32:45.640 --> 0:32:48.880
<v Speaker 5>to write my way into the person that I thought I.

0:32:48.920 --> 0:32:52.600
<v Speaker 6>Should be, or like that academia expected me to be.

0:32:53.600 --> 0:32:56.120
<v Speaker 5>And like, at least when I started writing sex tires,

0:32:56.200 --> 0:33:01.000
<v Speaker 5>I was like, no, this is my voice, so like

0:33:01.600 --> 0:33:04.200
<v Speaker 5>it kind of redeemed writing for me, because up until

0:33:04.240 --> 0:33:06.040
<v Speaker 5>then I was a pretty fucking pretentious writer.

0:33:06.400 --> 0:33:08.560
<v Speaker 2>It was the same thing with me when I wrote

0:33:08.600 --> 0:33:10.760
<v Speaker 2>my first stand up set, or tried to it's horrible.

0:33:11.320 --> 0:33:13.720
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, I should emulate this person. I

0:33:13.760 --> 0:33:15.959
<v Speaker 2>should be like this person that I like. And then

0:33:15.960 --> 0:33:18.000
<v Speaker 2>you get upstate on stage and you try to read

0:33:18.200 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 2>those words or remember those words and make it sound

0:33:20.840 --> 0:33:23.320
<v Speaker 2>like it's you, and it's not. It feels like a

0:33:24.080 --> 0:33:27.440
<v Speaker 2>a simulation of something else that's that's not quite ringing.

0:33:27.520 --> 0:33:29.760
<v Speaker 2>And so I think, you know, when you give up

0:33:29.800 --> 0:33:32.320
<v Speaker 2>the pretense, you're like, this is me and it's kind

0:33:32.320 --> 0:33:35.000
<v Speaker 2>of gross sometimes, but sometimes I'm really cute and you

0:33:35.200 --> 0:33:38.760
<v Speaker 2>just like embrace all the messier parts what comes out,

0:33:38.840 --> 0:33:41.120
<v Speaker 2>I've realized, And I think having an immediate audience there

0:33:41.200 --> 0:33:44.240
<v Speaker 2>to affirm is much easier than you know, publishing and

0:33:44.360 --> 0:33:46.400
<v Speaker 2>then going around the country and figuring out how people

0:33:46.400 --> 0:33:48.560
<v Speaker 2>feel about it. But it's great for in the moment

0:33:48.600 --> 0:33:50.479
<v Speaker 2>you could just be like, oh, I said this thing

0:33:50.560 --> 0:33:52.560
<v Speaker 2>that I was not prepared to say I thought would

0:33:52.600 --> 0:33:55.960
<v Speaker 2>be oversharing, too confessional, a little messy, and it goes great.

0:33:56.160 --> 0:33:58.760
<v Speaker 2>So it's finding your voice is kind of just like

0:33:58.960 --> 0:34:02.400
<v Speaker 2>letting go of every reference and expectation and.

0:34:02.480 --> 0:34:05.040
<v Speaker 1>Just be exactly yeah, just using your voice.

0:34:05.320 --> 0:34:08.160
<v Speaker 2>I'm imagining some of our audience might be curious if

0:34:08.200 --> 0:34:10.600
<v Speaker 2>you had any tips for starting your own sex journal,

0:34:10.920 --> 0:34:13.000
<v Speaker 2>how would you recommend folks go about it if they're interested.

0:34:13.520 --> 0:34:15.680
<v Speaker 5>I mean, I would definitely say start out with the assumption,

0:34:15.840 --> 0:34:19.000
<v Speaker 5>with the with the baseline assumption. That's for you and

0:34:19.120 --> 0:34:23.799
<v Speaker 5>you alone, right, whatever that means to you. And then

0:34:23.840 --> 0:34:26.920
<v Speaker 5>also I think it's I think it's kind of like

0:34:27.120 --> 0:34:30.000
<v Speaker 5>maybe the hardest thing to describe sex in a way

0:34:30.080 --> 0:34:34.880
<v Speaker 5>that's compelling. So if I'm gonna just like say, you know,

0:34:35.320 --> 0:34:37.320
<v Speaker 5>you don't know where to start, I would say, like

0:34:38.239 --> 0:34:42.160
<v Speaker 5>read Straight to Hell's Straight to Hell was this series

0:34:42.239 --> 0:34:45.920
<v Speaker 5>of like zines which was run by this guy Boyd McDonald,

0:34:46.000 --> 0:34:47.840
<v Speaker 5>who I think started in the seventies and it was

0:34:47.920 --> 0:34:50.920
<v Speaker 5>later Billy Miller who took it over. He had a

0:34:51.040 --> 0:34:53.880
<v Speaker 5>very distinct voice for describing sexual encounters, and it was

0:34:53.920 --> 0:34:56.439
<v Speaker 5>like people would write in like, you know this happened

0:34:56.480 --> 0:34:58.840
<v Speaker 5>to me at this toilet stall, here in this in

0:34:58.960 --> 0:35:01.560
<v Speaker 5>the library, or the airport, or you know, I have this,

0:35:02.120 --> 0:35:04.520
<v Speaker 5>and he, you know, he had a strong editorial hand

0:35:04.560 --> 0:35:07.880
<v Speaker 5>and he would always like finesse the sexual descriptions in

0:35:07.960 --> 0:35:11.240
<v Speaker 5>a very particular way, Like I remember, like he always

0:35:11.320 --> 0:35:14.480
<v Speaker 5>used to say, like things like he sniffed of my balls.

0:35:14.200 --> 0:35:16.080
<v Speaker 1>He sniffed of my musket ball, all of this.

0:35:16.520 --> 0:35:18.799
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so deal, Before we let you go, I did

0:35:18.840 --> 0:35:21.640
<v Speaker 2>want to ask. We've talked a little bit about the

0:35:21.880 --> 0:35:24.480
<v Speaker 2>impact journaling has had on you being able to look

0:35:24.520 --> 0:35:27.520
<v Speaker 2>back and sort of track moments in history. But I'm

0:35:27.560 --> 0:35:29.960
<v Speaker 2>curious now that you had a chance to look back,

0:35:30.080 --> 0:35:32.840
<v Speaker 2>incorporate some of those journals into your work, publish some

0:35:32.880 --> 0:35:35.839
<v Speaker 2>of them online, what do you think journaling throughout these

0:35:35.880 --> 0:35:39.359
<v Speaker 2>different phases of your life, whether sporadically or consistently, has

0:35:39.560 --> 0:35:41.920
<v Speaker 2>kind of done for you and both your personal and

0:35:42.160 --> 0:35:42.680
<v Speaker 2>sex life.

0:35:43.280 --> 0:35:45.360
<v Speaker 5>The way I was trying to help people understand what

0:35:45.440 --> 0:35:48.560
<v Speaker 5>it was they wanted, I think journaling helped me understand

0:35:48.680 --> 0:35:52.279
<v Speaker 5>what I want right, so, like all of us are

0:35:52.280 --> 0:35:55.120
<v Speaker 5>figuring it out. It's like a hell we are. It's

0:35:55.200 --> 0:35:58.640
<v Speaker 5>like an ongoing process. So if you start journaling, I

0:35:58.760 --> 0:36:00.759
<v Speaker 5>think you will find that it helped to figure out

0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:02.000
<v Speaker 5>what you really want.

0:36:02.520 --> 0:36:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Our last guesstomic is a sex worker who describes himself

0:36:06.200 --> 0:36:09.719
<v Speaker 2>as a verbal affectionate dom And you were a sex

0:36:09.800 --> 0:36:14.160
<v Speaker 2>worker too. Yeah, I'm curious how did you sort of

0:36:14.239 --> 0:36:17.360
<v Speaker 2>approach the dominant persona. Did you feel that it was

0:36:17.360 --> 0:36:20.400
<v Speaker 2>something separate than you, like a different voice, a different vibe,

0:36:20.600 --> 0:36:22.359
<v Speaker 2>or was it sort of woven into who you were

0:36:22.800 --> 0:36:24.120
<v Speaker 2>day to day outside of sex work.

0:36:24.440 --> 0:36:28.200
<v Speaker 5>I think it was definitely being a dom verbal top

0:36:28.360 --> 0:36:31.839
<v Speaker 5>from either Brooklyn or Long Island in Italian. My worker

0:36:31.920 --> 0:36:33.879
<v Speaker 5>name was Dominic, so it was like in the name,

0:36:34.000 --> 0:36:36.239
<v Speaker 5>Oh there you go, that's built in the it's kind

0:36:36.280 --> 0:36:40.480
<v Speaker 5>of built in and even now, like I fulfill that

0:36:40.640 --> 0:36:44.040
<v Speaker 5>role for a lot of adorable young man on the

0:36:44.160 --> 0:36:47.520
<v Speaker 5>apps and on the platforms, and I'm not complaining.

0:36:47.760 --> 0:36:49.319
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, no, great person, not at all.

0:36:50.080 --> 0:36:52.920
<v Speaker 5>And one of my favorite catchphrases which I find I

0:36:53.000 --> 0:36:54.719
<v Speaker 5>say a lot is get in there.

0:36:55.960 --> 0:37:00.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and I also where to wear. Yeah, I'm very curious.

0:37:02.480 --> 0:37:04.839
<v Speaker 1>Get in there, Get in there, get in there. Yeah,

0:37:05.120 --> 0:37:09.440
<v Speaker 1>we're not just penetrating. I'm sniff this is like, Yeah, you.

0:37:09.520 --> 0:37:13.120
<v Speaker 5>Know, there's a lot of Dad's son role play. Are

0:37:13.160 --> 0:37:14.719
<v Speaker 5>you going to service Dad the way he likes it?

0:37:15.360 --> 0:37:16.680
<v Speaker 5>Get that mouth to work, boy?

0:37:17.239 --> 0:37:19.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Yeah, these are classics.

0:37:19.560 --> 0:37:19.960
<v Speaker 4>I love that.

0:37:22.520 --> 0:37:24.480
<v Speaker 3>All right, Dale, thank you so much for coming in

0:37:24.719 --> 0:37:27.560
<v Speaker 3>and sharing your journals with us. It's been absolutely a pleasure.

0:37:27.760 --> 0:37:29.640
<v Speaker 1>It's a blessed. Where can people find you?

0:37:30.280 --> 0:37:33.000
<v Speaker 5>I am, my name is my name Dale Corvino. It's

0:37:33.120 --> 0:37:36.400
<v Speaker 5>I'm only one apparently like and you can find me

0:37:36.480 --> 0:37:38.120
<v Speaker 5>on Instagram, you can find me on Facebook, you can

0:37:38.160 --> 0:37:40.520
<v Speaker 5>find I have a website of my name, Dale Corvino

0:37:40.600 --> 0:37:44.560
<v Speaker 5>dot com. And the memoirs coming out from CNR Press

0:37:44.880 --> 0:37:48.319
<v Speaker 5>in September kept Boy in the Afterlife.

0:37:48.360 --> 0:37:51.440
<v Speaker 1>Amazing, so keep your eyes peeled for that. We we

0:37:51.560 --> 0:37:53.480
<v Speaker 1>did so much this episode. We did a lot. I'm

0:37:53.520 --> 0:37:55.680
<v Speaker 1>really a jam packed episode. I'm proud of. We're really

0:37:55.719 --> 0:37:57.960
<v Speaker 1>feeding the girls today. We are feeding the girls.

0:37:58.760 --> 0:38:02.680
<v Speaker 3>I had never heard the verbal porn audio track no,

0:38:02.800 --> 0:38:03.960
<v Speaker 3>but I'm definitely gonna check it out.

0:38:04.080 --> 0:38:05.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm so interested.

0:38:05.360 --> 0:38:08.640
<v Speaker 2>Thank you to induce Prietism for opening the gate into

0:38:08.680 --> 0:38:11.640
<v Speaker 2>a new genre of porn I did not know about.

0:38:11.960 --> 0:38:14.720
<v Speaker 3>And then we had Tomic, oh yeah, who was so great,

0:38:14.920 --> 0:38:18.000
<v Speaker 3>so great, And then we ended with Dale, who was fantastic,

0:38:18.200 --> 0:38:20.000
<v Speaker 3>which was really really inspiring. It it was like, oh,

0:38:20.040 --> 0:38:21.959
<v Speaker 3>maybe I should be writing more, especially since I'm writing

0:38:22.000 --> 0:38:22.479
<v Speaker 3>my own book.

0:38:23.520 --> 0:38:25.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to start putting pin to paper.

0:38:25.320 --> 0:38:29.080
<v Speaker 2>Sniffy's Cruising Confessions is a production from Outspoken podcast network

0:38:29.120 --> 0:38:30.320
<v Speaker 2>from iHeart Podcasts.

0:38:30.640 --> 0:38:33.560
<v Speaker 1>It's directed by Adam Barron, produced by Stevie Williams and

0:38:33.640 --> 0:38:36.479
<v Speaker 1>Camerons Semino, and executive producers by Eli Martin.

0:38:36.880 --> 0:38:40.279
<v Speaker 2>Cruising Confessions is presented by Sniffy's, the ultimate map based

0:38:40.360 --> 0:38:41.120
<v Speaker 2>cruising platform.

0:38:41.400 --> 0:38:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Pregay by and curious people ready to cruise. Check out

0:38:44.920 --> 0:38:47.560
<v Speaker 1>the map at Snippy's dot com and follow Sniffy's on

0:38:47.600 --> 0:38:51.000
<v Speaker 1>socials at Snippy's App. Put Joe Put, Put Joe put,

0:38:51.080 --> 0:38:51.759
<v Speaker 1>Put Joe put