Speaker 1: Motherfucking miniyar So mini episode, motherfucking miniar So. Yep, yep, yep,
Speaker 1: there it is. There it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Welcome
Speaker 1: to another phenomenal mini episode of My Mama Told Me,
Speaker 1: the podcast where we died deep into the pockets of
Speaker 1: black conspiracy theories and we finally worked to prove the
Speaker 1: theories that you pieces of ship have at home. There
Speaker 1: you are jo away from it right on time, baby,
Speaker 1: just queued up perfectly the cut. You heard it here first.
Speaker 1: You're a goddamn jigaboo if you listen to this and
Speaker 1: we're sick of you. I don't like the big lips, oh,
Speaker 1: your big lipt attitude. If you ask me, why did
Speaker 1: you want? Take the filler out that attitude, baby girl
Speaker 1: or boy? Fillers for everybody. Now, I'm like Stint Kerman
Speaker 1: and we're we're here to to deal in in your
Speaker 1: shenan against this week. We're gonna yeah, let's let's see
Speaker 1: what you got. We're gonna read an email from from
Speaker 1: a person uh named Gilanni Gilanni, And I want to
Speaker 1: point out that that uh that Gilanni has contacted me
Speaker 1: on multiple platforms. It's it's worth noting Gilani has been
Speaker 1: very persistent about getting this conversation started, I guess, and
Speaker 1: has screamed at me multiple times about not not responding
Speaker 1: to him on other platforms. So so I hope Gilanni
Speaker 1: that this is gonna be satisfying and do all the thing.
Speaker 1: But Gilanni said, well, first of all, it said forwarding
Speaker 1: this because I sent it to the wrong email. But
Speaker 1: you know, he stilled at me. He said, my mama
Speaker 1: told me biz it's like they seal like they get money.
Speaker 1: It's probably dot biz. Yeah, what's the Jelani said, forwarding
Speaker 1: this because I sent it to the wrong email? He said, Hey, man,
Speaker 1: first off, love the show been down for about a
Speaker 1: year now and I'm locked in every every week, twice
Speaker 1: a week. Love the dynamic y'all to have I be
Speaker 1: crying dead as a New Yorker. I believe my conspiracy
Speaker 1: tries to date at least dead ass and wrote it out,
Speaker 1: you're passionate about that ship. Uh. My conspiracy is that
Speaker 1: mixing dark and light liquor makes you drunk or faster
Speaker 1: or just flat out sick. If this is true, how
Speaker 1: the hell does this work? And why respect? Peace and
Speaker 1: love Gelani? I don't even think yes, you're saying absolutely,
Speaker 1: this isn't even a conspiracy. We've all known that since
Speaker 1: high school, right right, that that you're supposed to if
Speaker 1: you if you go light, you stay light. If you
Speaker 1: go dark, you stay dark. Yeah. I live my life
Speaker 1: by a phrase, and it's dance with the one you brought.
Speaker 1: M M. I like that. That's how you got it,
Speaker 1: that's how you gotta do it otherwise. I like that.
Speaker 1: I could see you saying that to a young man
Speaker 1: on your porch one day. Yeah, you've got a lounge chair.
Speaker 1: He's standing because he respects you different, you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: maybe water out of a mason jar. I could say, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm hosing down the lawn for no reason. He's got
Speaker 1: questions and the and the main answer. He says a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of bullshit about being young and passionate and
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? And you just look at him,
Speaker 1: real calm and you say, hey, dance with the one
Speaker 1: you got. That's all, that's all it is. And he's
Speaker 1: like in his head he's like, what the fund does
Speaker 1: that mean? But also he respects you enough to wait,
Speaker 1: he'll figure it out. Yeah, hit him with the hose
Speaker 1: and said, get out of here yet yours. I gotta
Speaker 1: water these petunias. You're like, yeah, he's wise, but he's met.
Speaker 1: He also cares about his garden. He really cares about
Speaker 1: those petunias. Yeah, shout out to my money tree. He's thriving.
Speaker 1: So so you are a firm believer in this conspiracy theory,
Speaker 1: no questions asked. I have no I need no research. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's you. You mix it and that's when it goes
Speaker 1: bad for you. I assume that you're speaking from some
Speaker 1: level of experience that you've personal and and I've I've
Speaker 1: viewed it from other people. Yeah, it's always like that. Also,
Speaker 1: I feel like you know what it is. It's it's
Speaker 1: like wearing a Nike hood do you with a Didas
Speaker 1: shorts or something like? Oh yeah, when we were kids,
Speaker 1: we call it that perpetrating. Yeah, it's just it's just
Speaker 1: offensive and it's not gonna go the way you wanted
Speaker 1: to know. It never looks as cool as you think
Speaker 1: it is. And because it never looks cool, yeah, you're like, well,
Speaker 1: these are black joggers and this is a black sweatshirt,
Speaker 1: so more more, and they won't even notice the different
Speaker 1: emblems on this ship and I'll just put them on
Speaker 1: and nobody, no, no, any different And boy do we
Speaker 1: know different? Man? Yeah, and I'll make fun of you.
Speaker 1: M hmm, that's all make fun of you. Why would
Speaker 1: it work? Why would it work? It's poison. You mix
Speaker 1: some poises. You're gonna mix poisons inside of you? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: And it's specifically I I guess I. I was sitting
Speaker 1: wondering why that would be such a major problem, right,
Speaker 1: because in theory poisons poison, Why why would these poisons
Speaker 1: have these weird sort of interaction. But I don't think
Speaker 1: it's particularly different than like mixing certain foods with each other.
Speaker 1: Like essentially, these poisons are made of various edible products
Speaker 1: that then get fermented, and so you don't want to
Speaker 1: be you know what I mean, Like you're sort of
Speaker 1: mixing steak and and fucking cereal d It's not that
Speaker 1: they're they're bad foods by themselves, but you don't got
Speaker 1: to do that at once. Yeah. No, it's just it's uncouth,
Speaker 1: it's disgusting. It makes you look slovenly. Oh man, do
Speaker 1: you think And this I'm gonna ask, uh what I
Speaker 1: feel like might be a risk a question giving your
Speaker 1: response to all this, do you feel like there are
Speaker 1: certain dark and light liquors you could test the boundaries with,
Speaker 1: Like if you had to do the mixing, you're you
Speaker 1: drink one thing, they're all out, so you gotta mix.
Speaker 1: Are there ones where you're like, this is a reasonable mixture?
Speaker 1: Verse is others where you're like, what the funk were
Speaker 1: you thinking? I mean, also I want you to say,
Speaker 1: I want you to understand that. Yeah, I'm stand out
Speaker 1: on this, but it's like booty play every day and
Speaker 1: and you did you let a little slip in. So
Speaker 1: I'm not pro this, but it does happen every now
Speaker 1: and again, this mixing of things, you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So like, are there ones that I would know? It's
Speaker 1: all It's all the same to me. I think the
Speaker 1: biggest worry I have is don't mix wine in there. WHOA,
Speaker 1: that's that's what that's to me personally. So you're saying,
Speaker 1: if I'm understanding correctly, if you went, if I went
Speaker 1: fucking whiskey all night and then wine, that is a
Speaker 1: worst choice, and whiskey all night than uh um or
Speaker 1: something like that. Yeah, definitely you when you throw wine
Speaker 1: in there. Because also when you throw wine in there.
Speaker 1: It's such a mood shift, like what were you doing?
Speaker 1: You understand, like, what were you doing? Then? You started
Speaker 1: out a Hennessy night and then all of a sudden
Speaker 1: it's one am and you're drinking white wine or low
Speaker 1: something moved. You're not dancing with the one you brought.
Speaker 1: That's what you're right, I got you. Yeah, that's that
Speaker 1: one feels the most honest to your to your signature catchphrase.
Speaker 1: That that feels everybody knows. I've come on man, you
Speaker 1: said it the first day I met you. You shook
Speaker 1: my hand firm in the It's like, I think I'm
Speaker 1: older than him. Why is he talking to me like this?
Speaker 1: But but no, it does because because like you're saying,
Speaker 1: a Hennessy night is a very specific night. You are.
Speaker 1: You are trying to funk on something, You're trying to move,
Speaker 1: You're trying to share. It's probably a lot of us
Speaker 1: is out. Yeah, I'm like a night you're ready to
Speaker 1: argue if if need be, for whatever reason that is.
Speaker 1: It's a passionate night. It's a passionate night. But then
Speaker 1: you you to somehow find yourself shifted into a white wine.
Speaker 1: What transpired in your logic and your approach that broke
Speaker 1: so quickly. Yeah, I mean, well, but to be fair,
Speaker 1: shout out to my man, little Johnny Hat. This man,
Speaker 1: you know, I love me some little Johnny had, Little
Speaker 1: Johnny Hat a little little black and Pacific islander, young man.
Speaker 1: He claimed that white wine mixed with Henessey was a drink. Whoa,
Speaker 1: And I ain't seen any order that at the bar sometimes.
Speaker 1: Now here's what I think might be happening there. They're
Speaker 1: both I think made from grapes. If I'm not mistaken,
Speaker 1: Hennessey is a great based drink. So maybe that was
Speaker 1: a motherfucker being like grapes is grapes. And but that's
Speaker 1: what that's the whole problem with this whole thing is
Speaker 1: grapes as grapes. That mentality, that's how we got here
Speaker 1: as a grapes grapes its grapes. And and you're right
Speaker 1: that we we can't just treat every grape the same.
Speaker 1: We gotta we gotta respect the difference. These winemakers, respect
Speaker 1: the difference these Hennessy. I believe uh Sarack Obama is
Speaker 1: also made of grapes. No, but it should be. There's
Speaker 1: a slight tent of purple. If they made Sarack Obama,
Speaker 1: you guys got Dragon Barry or whatever the funk you're doing,
Speaker 1: but Obama, that's insane. And also, I can't speak to
Speaker 1: the Hennessy thing. I went to France and everyone I
Speaker 1: was accompanied with refused to go to the Hennessy factory. Whoa,
Speaker 1: you can tour it. I plan to go by myself.
Speaker 1: Why why they not? Why were they so passionately against
Speaker 1: the Hennessy facause it was ours out of the way.
Speaker 1: Oh damn, it's not. It's like it's it's not it's
Speaker 1: not in Grand Old Perry. It's no, no, no, it's
Speaker 1: not in Gay Perry. It's like way out there. I
Speaker 1: got you. Yeah, I can see why they wouldn't want
Speaker 1: to make that trip. Then if Hennessy wasn't their passion
Speaker 1: in the first place. I also understand myself as a
Speaker 1: travel travel companion. You don't know what I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: with the Hennessy factory. That's real. That's a real word.
Speaker 1: You don't know how it's because I don't know. I
Speaker 1: think that was part of their debate, like it's so
Speaker 1: far out of the way. And also, you're gonna turn
Speaker 1: into a menace. I think we're just gonna there's too
Speaker 1: much of a risk that you'll you'll be shirtless and
Speaker 1: dry humping a barrel by the end of this though,
Speaker 1: just trying to single handedly bring krunk back. Where did
Speaker 1: he get clown makeup? We have no idea, but he's
Speaker 1: totally He's fucking crumping shirtless next to a barrel, and
Speaker 1: we try to little Scrappy. He brought his own gas candies,
Speaker 1: just putting it straight up to the Hennessy tap like anything.
Speaker 1: He's he keeps saying, look mym one of the east
Speaker 1: Side boys look at me, because Mob says how long
Speaker 1: is this gonna take? So, yeah, I do agree that
Speaker 1: there's something and at least the the grapes is grapes
Speaker 1: misstep that would allow somebody to mix white wine and
Speaker 1: fucking hennessy. Yeah, it's just like you don't want to
Speaker 1: live like that. No, But I do think and I
Speaker 1: maybe this is part of what we're talking about. This
Speaker 1: down shifting is a really important part of it, or
Speaker 1: this weird shifting gears as it were. And some of
Speaker 1: this just feels like you gotta be honest with yourself
Speaker 1: about what specific liquors due to you that if if
Speaker 1: there is a behavioral equivalent in both dark and light liquors,
Speaker 1: then maybe you are gonna have this major combative sort
Speaker 1: of battle in your body. Whereas like if you're like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm at a fucking tequila level and I know what
Speaker 1: tequila does to me, and then I'm mixing it with
Speaker 1: the weird ass personality of dark rum? What the fund
Speaker 1: did I just do to myself? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: Like you, you're playing dangerous? Because when when are two?
Speaker 1: When are two opposing anything? Battling in your body? A
Speaker 1: good time? Yeah? Right? When does that? Ever? What does
Speaker 1: anything fighting inside of you good? Haven't y'all seen now?
Speaker 1: Osmosis Jones? You don't want things fighting inside of you?
Speaker 1: You want everybody at peace. Yeah, you don't want Eddie
Speaker 1: Murphy and they're shooting down viruses or whatever. Rock Chris Rock,
Speaker 1: I knows, Rock was as most as Jones. Man who
Speaker 1: was Eddie Murphy? He was what was that movie where
Speaker 1: they were inside Eddie Murphy? Oh I believe you're thinking of?
Speaker 1: Is that Pluto Nash and No Pluto Pluto on the
Speaker 1: Strip Club on the Moon? Yeah? Yeah, I don't I
Speaker 1: think he was. Yeah, maybe you got the gist that
Speaker 1: was maybe that's I love the idea, and then you
Speaker 1: pull up a script. Maybe that's the movie I'm working on.
Speaker 1: Never mind, that's actually called Pluto Gash gross gross boy.
Speaker 1: And if you want to, if you want to say
Speaker 1: something about what David just said and send us your thoughts,
Speaker 1: you can send them to my Mama pot at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com. We would love to hear your thoughts on
Speaker 1: Pluto gash. Don't hit the though it is. That's gonna
Speaker 1: be bad for business if you if you hit that
Speaker 1: at the dot biz. Oh wait, Olivia has some science here.
Speaker 1: Oh nice for us. I love Google dot com. Clear beverage,
Speaker 1: just something Clear. Beverages like vodka, gin and white wine
Speaker 1: contain less congeners that dartor drinks like brandy, whiskey, rum,
Speaker 1: and red wine. Mixing the congenier's main increased stomach irritation.
Speaker 1: So that's a fact. We proved it. And then she
Speaker 1: she has a definition for congeniers just below it. A
Speaker 1: minor chemical constituent fancy, especially one that gives a distinctive
Speaker 1: character to a wine or liquor or uh is responsible
Speaker 1: for some of its physiological effects. I think it proves it,
Speaker 1: and I think in essence, it is saying something similar
Speaker 1: to what I'm saying about, like the ship that it's
Speaker 1: doing in your body. And the truth is that all
Speaker 1: of these quote unquote congeners affect us differently and and
Speaker 1: make us act a different kind of fool. So you
Speaker 1: gotta stick with the one you brought and and just
Speaker 1: act the specific kind of fool you chose at the
Speaker 1: beginning of the night. You know what I mean, and
Speaker 1: you know what you should do. You start a booze journal.
Speaker 1: So then every time you get drunk. You know what
Speaker 1: happened last night? I drank a bunch of tequila and
Speaker 1: I tried to fight two bouncers. Now I know tequila
Speaker 1: makes me fight bouncers. Yeah, yeah, last night I drank
Speaker 1: a bunch of rum. I told the uber driver I
Speaker 1: had a gun. Like it's like you figure out right,
Speaker 1: rum rum makes me honest, That's that's because I think
Speaker 1: I do got a gun. But I have to do
Speaker 1: I have to tell him all that, you know, but
Speaker 1: otherwise he wasn't going to go through the drive through.
Speaker 1: It was like, bro, I just I need you to
Speaker 1: know I got like that before you take me home. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: none of that fiddle fattle you'd be up to yeah
Speaker 1: with the gunless people out here, but no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we're taking the highway. Well, Gelanti, I I hope that
Speaker 1: this was this was informative for you. I hope it
Speaker 1: was cathartic, finally getting us to to do as you've
Speaker 1: been screaming and demanding on the internet. We greatly appreciate
Speaker 1: your email, and I hope you learned a little something.
Speaker 1: Stop making yeah, and also always tell the Uber driver
Speaker 1: you got that thing on you? Yeah? You? Why why wait?
Speaker 1: Why wait to to assert that level of dominance in
Speaker 1: another man's car. Huh? Well boy, you want to tell
Speaker 1: the people where they can find you? Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: my years winding down, But December twenty second, you can
Speaker 1: find me at the Jimmy Kimmel Comedy Club in Las
Speaker 1: Vegas at the Wink Hotel. Also, thank you with my
Speaker 1: mama told me fans we've been coming out to My
Speaker 1: Life shows. That's been great. It's really nice to see
Speaker 1: you keep on coming out. I'll keep telling inappropriate jokes
Speaker 1: about having sex with African women. Hell yeah, oh man,
Speaker 1: I haven't heard any of those bits. I'm excited to
Speaker 1: catch them. That this is exciting, it's a complicated. Uh well,
Speaker 1: As always, you can follow me at Mikes and Kerman
Speaker 1: on all platforms and I'll weigh in. I've had sex
Speaker 1: with a few African women. I'll throw a few tip
Speaker 1: bits in just on the social media, just the I
Speaker 1: don't think they're tidbits. I think they're big tits. You
Speaker 1: ain't wrong. And as always, if you want to send
Speaker 1: us your conspiracy theories, your drow, your your opinions on
Speaker 1: sexing African women, you can send them all to my
Speaker 1: Mama pod at gmail dot com. Do that ship without
Speaker 1: mixing your liquors. Okay, we did it by bitch, motherfucking
Speaker 1: Mini year so many episode, motherfucking Mini year so, motherfucking
Speaker 1: Minie so many episode, motherfucking Mini epso