Speaker 1: Are you leaving?
Speaker 2: I you wanta way back home?
Speaker 3: Either way, we want to be there.
Speaker 4: Doesn't matter how much baggage you claim and give us
Speaker 4: time and a terminol and gagy a.
Speaker 2: We want to send.
Speaker 5: You off inside.
Speaker 6: We wanna welcome you back home.
Speaker 3: Tell us all about it. We scared her?
Speaker 1: Was it fine?
Speaker 3: Mal porn?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 5: Do you need to ride?
Speaker 3: Do you need to ride? Do you need to ride?
Speaker 2: Do your need you ride?
Speaker 5: Ride with Karen and Chris? Hi? Is this still thee?
Speaker 5: Let me changed?
Speaker 6: We we were actually yelling about have you liberals?
Speaker 5: Now? Have you ever gotten in the wrong uber or lyft?
Speaker 2: I've done, but I've had someone.
Speaker 6: I'd let someone into my car in front of the
Speaker 6: old UCB because I thought it was a la.
Speaker 5: Guy wow, and he thought you were the uber.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but he got in the back seat.
Speaker 5: Now I did that to someone and he was terrified.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: And then another time in Austin, I was picking up
Speaker 6: the girl, my girlfriend at ATB, the girlfriend at the
Speaker 6: time at ATB, and I was waiting for her, and
Speaker 6: there was car in front of me that looked like
Speaker 6: my Mustang and she just got in that.
Speaker 2: Car and the old guy driving.
Speaker 5: Start. He just started driving.
Speaker 6: Neither of them noticed, and I was just laughing, why
Speaker 6: is this happening? And they got to the corner and
Speaker 6: then she finally got out, and boy do we have
Speaker 6: a laugh.
Speaker 5: I like somebody that's saying, oh no, but sure, I'll
Speaker 5: give you a ride.
Speaker 3: And then he just starts grabbing at her.
Speaker 5: Yeah. Well, she's like a Betty Boop cartoon.
Speaker 3: No, we don't do this anymore.
Speaker 2: He was from a different time, a simpler one.
Speaker 5: Come on, sweetheart, we just won the wall.
Speaker 2: Didn't And that sounds like my voice, so she just
Speaker 2: thought it.
Speaker 5: Was me, grab her, grab her, grab her again.
Speaker 4: James, I need to tell you this is something I
Speaker 4: remembered when you went and did your errand is my
Speaker 4: dad used to send me all of your Mike Lindell's
Speaker 4: sketches from Kimmel And he couldn't understand that it wasn't
Speaker 4: actually Mike Lindell, really he.
Speaker 3: Thought, he thought, look at him melting down, Why would
Speaker 3: he do this?
Speaker 4: And I'm like, Dad, I am telling you it is
Speaker 4: jameson dummy and I know him personally, and he was like.
Speaker 3: It's crazy, this guy. He's making full of himself. And
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, it isn't. Actually, Mike Lindell.
Speaker 7: This problem happens with my great uncle as well, who's
Speaker 7: alive here. He's always like, we want to tell me
Speaker 7: when you're going.
Speaker 5: To be on TV.
Speaker 7: We would love to watch you, and then I usually forget,
Speaker 7: but then once in a while I'm like, hey, by
Speaker 7: the way, yeah, you can tune in tonight. And then
Speaker 7: if I get the complaint the next day, we watched
Speaker 7: the whole show and.
Speaker 5: We didn't see you. And then you're like, well, no,
Speaker 5: you saw the part with the pillow guy. Yes, I
Speaker 5: disagree with.
Speaker 7: Him, and I was like, well that was me. Oh well,
Speaker 7: they should have made it clearer that that was you.
Speaker 5: That's not the point.
Speaker 2: The point is that it is unclear.
Speaker 5: Arguably, though he's right.
Speaker 7: If I was better at like the show biz, i'd yeah,
Speaker 7: the point would be, hey, that was me.
Speaker 3: No, I disagree.
Speaker 2: There is no I disagree in characters.
Speaker 6: I think there's probably a lot of people that I
Speaker 6: think that's really him.
Speaker 3: I think you have single handedly taken down the maga trend.
Speaker 8: Because I need a right that's for sure.
Speaker 5: I wish I heard that.
Speaker 9: I wish mentioned I hold on, I'm on the top
Speaker 9: of a.
Speaker 5: Glass You look, I'm looking through the clear roof of
Speaker 5: the thing. It challenge.
Speaker 9: Hold on here, I just came down. I was trying
Speaker 9: to get out of Hollywood. I heard the strike was happening.
Speaker 5: I'm not.
Speaker 9: It looks like I'm on the top of a glass
Speaker 9: bottomed boat. But it looks like there's a touch of
Speaker 9: car automobile underneath. Is there a way I could swing
Speaker 9: around and get shy the darn thing?
Speaker 3: You get in here?
Speaker 5: We loved shift boy flipping.
Speaker 9: I haven't I want a bender, I said. I passed out.
Speaker 9: I passed.
Speaker 5: I had a white out.
Speaker 9: No, I had a white out to Saint Paul, and
Speaker 9: here I have woke up in central Hollywood. Jimmy Kemmel, Jimber,
Speaker 9: Jimmy Krimble mussy, he must. I think he whacked me
Speaker 9: out up in the Manchone. I brought me out here.
Speaker 9: Try to teach me some kind of liberal lesson or something.
Speaker 3: What have you been doing since, you know, in the
Speaker 3: last Oh, gosh, I've.
Speaker 5: Been up to everything. I lost.
Speaker 9: I lost twelve billion dollars yesterday. Oh, the Supreme Court
Speaker 9: keeps telling me I'm wrong.
Speaker 5: Let me tell you. The Supreme court's going to learn
Speaker 5: a lesson or to what I've done with them.
Speaker 9: I lost twelve billion dollars and then I gave money
Speaker 9: to my charity. What's my own charity? I give money
Speaker 9: to my charity. I said it says I would call
Speaker 9: it a shell corporation.
Speaker 5: But it's a pillow case.
Speaker 3: You just shoved some cash into a pillow case.
Speaker 9: Look, that's what my pillow is good for. It's not
Speaker 9: just for sleeping on. You can also stuff cashing. You
Speaker 9: can put bricks in and use it to defend yourself
Speaker 9: when the deal goes down.
Speaker 5: Rock in the middle of the big park.
Speaker 2: Have you been doing a lot of park deals at night?
Speaker 5: Well, we just.
Speaker 9: Got done with the state fare up there in between cities,
Speaker 9: of course, and boy oh boy, you could camp out there.
Speaker 5: People don't notice it. It's halfway between Saint Paul.
Speaker 10: Men.
Speaker 5: You have plush you got you could camp out there,
Speaker 5: and they go, hey, who is this? You're not supposed
Speaker 5: to be sleeping here. You don't know. It's not me.
Speaker 5: It's just my pillow and a stick.
Speaker 9: Okay, hold on a second. I see a low rider
Speaker 9: El Dorondo there and that's seven eleven. I think I
Speaker 9: could probably score from him.
Speaker 5: Hold on, I'm gonna roll out of a moving vehicle.
Speaker 5: Tell James to get back in.
Speaker 2: Oh he's already gone and we lost you.
Speaker 5: James is back that I heard all That guy.
Speaker 2: Is a lunius on drugs.
Speaker 3: I was.
Speaker 7: I was standing on the running board on your car.
Speaker 7: Oh good you have. I know it's a tesla, but
Speaker 7: you have an old fashioned running board for the valet attended.
Speaker 6: A lot of valet guys just ride along like it's
Speaker 6: a trolley and announce the different intersections.
Speaker 8: Remember when it was like a car was such a
Speaker 8: grand thing that like people would welcome.
Speaker 7: It's a rival at a place. Let us let us
Speaker 7: stand on your car for a while and help you
Speaker 7: get out of it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, kind of brings that back on.
Speaker 4: My dad used to drive Volkswagen Bugs and we that
Speaker 4: was the thing. It was like, don't tell your mom,
Speaker 4: but when you came to pick us up from school,
Speaker 4: he would let us stand on the side of the car,
Speaker 4: stand on the running board and hold.
Speaker 3: On to the rolled down window because.
Speaker 5: The old ones did have a little running.
Speaker 3: Board, had a little running board because.
Speaker 5: They didn't change the design since the.
Speaker 3: Third right exactly. Unfortunately, Yes, that's true.
Speaker 4: So we used to be able to stand vallet style,
Speaker 4: stand on the running board and drive around the playground
Speaker 4: owned and basically do that for thirty seconds.
Speaker 3: Then my dad be like, seriously, you cannot tell you I.
Speaker 6: Used to call it a Nazi porch for your car. Well,
Speaker 6: that's a lot of people know that. That's so great.
Speaker 3: It was pretty fun.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 6: I love I'm bringing it back. I'm gonna install one
Speaker 6: on my content.
Speaker 5: I wish is there.
Speaker 7: I mean, why do they have couldn't they have just
Speaker 7: changed the name from Volkswagen to anything else.
Speaker 3: To anything else. Yeah, it's an unfortunate history.
Speaker 8: Yeah, and it's even to buy one in German would
Speaker 8: be problematic because you'd have to be like ein Volkswagen.
Speaker 6: Yeah, it doesn't sound good. It doesn't roll off the
Speaker 6: tongue the cheery way. We're gonna get coffee. Do you
Speaker 6: enjoy coffee?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 7: I'm I quit drinking it for the most part. I
Speaker 7: do everything else. But I have decaf so I can
Speaker 7: have calf whenever I want.
Speaker 3: And you can also have the cake pop rule.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and good news, they don't fully bake it.
Speaker 3: It's just a stick covered in lard, died brown are
Speaker 3: we going to field pick Mike up again.
Speaker 4: He said he needed everything's on his stick once he scored,
Speaker 4: he needed a ride.
Speaker 3: No, there's a there's another drive through Starbucks ahead.
Speaker 5: Yeah you. Oh wow, that's how you've mapped this out.
Speaker 3: It is. I'm sorry to tell you. I do apologize.
Speaker 5: Oh boy, I love.
Speaker 7: There was another bit that I don't think makes it
Speaker 7: into a special about because it's local. And when you
Speaker 7: record a team stand up special, everyone even agents you
Speaker 7: no longer work with, come out of the woodwork and like,
Speaker 7: don't do any local material.
Speaker 5: Dead relatives rise from the.
Speaker 7: Grave and go, well, obviously don't do anything about Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because it's not relevant to anybody, right.
Speaker 7: And then it's so so uh And then I get,
Speaker 7: what if I do an Atlanta joke?
Speaker 5: Or are you insane?
Speaker 7: So I did I have this like bonus joke. It's
Speaker 7: about LAX because I grew up in LA and my
Speaker 7: whole life. Everybody disagrees about everything. The city's fucked up.
Speaker 7: There's many things wrong with it. It's a broken city.
Speaker 7: No one agrees on what should be done, and that's good.
Speaker 7: But there's one thing that all human beings agree on,
Speaker 7: and that is there should be a train from somewhere Lax.
Speaker 5: Yes, and that's the one thing they won't give us.
Speaker 7: And when I was young, I was like, when I
Speaker 7: was twenty three, I've been an a I guess I've
Speaker 7: been an adult for twenty five years. And so when
Speaker 7: I was twenty three, they opened the Expo line. No, no, no, no,
Speaker 7: excuse me, the green line, right, that's what it was,
Speaker 7: the green line. And they were like, uh, well, they
Speaker 7: won't stop complaining about this trained Lax, so let's give
Speaker 7: them almost And we're.
Speaker 5: Like, great, a train in law on them.
Speaker 7: If you look at the Thomas Guide, it looks like
Speaker 7: it's gonna go to Lax.
Speaker 2: Where did it stop?
Speaker 5: It stops, It's still there, it stops and else Gundo.
Speaker 7: A mile short of Lax, Yeah, one mile short of
Speaker 7: Lax deliberately, and you're they're like, well, don't worry.
Speaker 5: You can go to El Segundo.
Speaker 2: And it's not even walkable. That means you to have
Speaker 2: to go on that.
Speaker 7: On one one mile through the pedestrian forbidden underpass.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and it's on the wrong side of El Segundo too.
Speaker 7: It's not the part where you would leave your wallet,
Speaker 7: like the warehouse side of El Segundo, so there's nothing
Speaker 7: even do there and it's El Gundo, so they don't
Speaker 7: have well warehouse parties because they outlawed fun and that.
Speaker 6: I just want to say, you man, the two fans
Speaker 6: that are a tribe called quest fans happy. Yeah, it's yeah,
Speaker 6: it's basically like trying to walk over the Bay Bridge.
Speaker 7: And then you're like, well, maybe I can work with
Speaker 7: this train to El Segundo. At least where does this
Speaker 7: train originate? They were like, nor Walk. There's nothing in
Speaker 7: nor there's nothing in Norwalk. I grew up here. K
Speaker 7: Cal nine used to be in Norwalk. And they got
Speaker 7: out and then their attitude is like how dare you?
Speaker 7: The Los Angeles Registrars recorders offices in Norwalk and all
Speaker 7: thirty of the people in that building can get to
Speaker 7: within one mile of Lax whenever they want. And then
Speaker 7: when I was what ten years ago, when I was
Speaker 7: like thirty three, they opened the Expo line. That's the
Speaker 7: one that they opened where they're like they won't shut
Speaker 7: up about this train. Fine, here's the Expo line and
Speaker 7: they it's Expo as in exposition as in what could
Speaker 7: have been in a better future.
Speaker 5: Yes, and the.
Speaker 7: Expo Line goes from downtown and you think it looks oh,
Speaker 7: it's headed toward west.
Speaker 5: It seems like it's going to the airport.
Speaker 7: And then you're like, halfway down, you can look out
Speaker 7: the left window of the Expo.
Speaker 5: Line and you can see Lax. You can see it.
Speaker 5: You don't just see the airplanes, you see the structures.
Speaker 5: You're like, turn here on Lobrea and they're like, no, sorry,
Speaker 5: we're going to Santa Monica. Oh my.
Speaker 7: And you're like, is there an airport there and they're like, yes,
Speaker 7: but real people aren't allowed.
Speaker 3: To use it, only Caitlyn Jenner.
Speaker 6: So it takes you even further away from l A M. Yes,
Speaker 6: it just gives you a visual attempt.
Speaker 5: You're stuck in Santa Monica.
Speaker 2: Oh god.
Speaker 7: Which you know, if we here's here's the here's the
Speaker 7: punchline of the bit I'm doing material here on your podcast,
Speaker 7: then no, no, I know.
Speaker 2: But that's why I'm making it more conversational.
Speaker 5: They're really good at only a seasoned listener.
Speaker 7: No, but then if we were to leave here right
Speaker 7: now and drive to Lax from where we are, we
Speaker 7: would cross over four or five trains that don't go
Speaker 7: to l a.
Speaker 5: X and where.
Speaker 6: Yeah, they just take people of Santa Monica to go
Speaker 6: to the mall like that is a priority. I wonder
Speaker 6: there has to be a reason why they want LAX
Speaker 6: to be difficult.
Speaker 7: Well, they're building the train. I know they're building. They're
Speaker 7: building the train. They have like the construction going. But
Speaker 7: I think that it's a Potempkin village.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I think that they're just doing that for show, for
Speaker 7: the Olympics, just to get everybody here, and there's gonna
Speaker 7: be a bunch of athletes and dignitaries and they'd be like, sorry,
Speaker 7: it was just all cardboard and would we've just been
Speaker 7: stacking wood for twenty years.
Speaker 4: It's gonna be Somebody was talking about that where they're like,
Speaker 4: when we host the Olympics, there's gonna be an influx
Speaker 4: of like two million people.
Speaker 3: But also apparently we're hosting the World.
Speaker 4: Cup right before that, like a year or two before,
Speaker 4: and then there's gonna be influx of like one million
Speaker 4: people for that. We're just like, how is this town
Speaker 4: going to work in any way when that happens?
Speaker 5: Oh? God?
Speaker 7: Can is the World Cup just gonna be down at
Speaker 7: like the new stadium?
Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean, can we.
Speaker 5: Could just just maybe oh fuck, I get a move.
Speaker 3: Out of LA I know, I know it's not good.
Speaker 3: Everybody needs to come to the valley just for like
Speaker 3: two years.
Speaker 5: Just ride it out, huh, write it.
Speaker 3: Out over Sherman Oaks. It'll be fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: That That's one thing I noticed when I moved here.
Speaker 6: There's a lot of things in Los Angeles that are
Speaker 6: just built to be like, hey, if.
Speaker 2: You can't handle it, go back. Quit chasing your dreams.
Speaker 6: Even the price of a parking ticket will be like, oh,
Speaker 6: I have to go back to North Dakota. It is
Speaker 6: there's so many things here that will make you go home.
Speaker 6: And I think that's why it's like, well people keep
Speaker 6: coming here. Why make it easier? And I think the
Speaker 6: airport access to and from the airport is the best
Speaker 6: way to keep people from chasing their dreams.
Speaker 7: Yeah, they're like, we want you to know from the
Speaker 7: get go that there's a few things wrong about the city,
Speaker 7: that there's some very wealthy people that don't want.
Speaker 3: To fix it right and don't want you here.
Speaker 5: And they really don't want you here except that they're
Speaker 5: gonna make money.
Speaker 2: I'm so confused Okay, you know you know now, Okay.
Speaker 10: Found and you found it. Karenarens defeated our efforts to
Speaker 10: obscure our coffee.
Speaker 5: Sure, Caffean eyn choices. That's just any that's any generic villain.
Speaker 7: Yeah, some kind of some kind of hot dark made.
Speaker 6: I see, she's four of us once again, my favorite
Speaker 6: men of your and I'm not making you.
Speaker 2: The wrath of con.
Speaker 6: There is a long letter in here, but I'm opening
Speaker 6: a gift card that I received in Boise, Idaho.
Speaker 5: Your podcast guests write letters to themselves.
Speaker 1: Jordan's James at twelve.
Speaker 6: This is yeah, this is oh, oh, this is there's
Speaker 6: a lot of specifics.
Speaker 5: Oh, it's a fan letter, and to you as.
Speaker 2: Well, Karen, Chris guest on the least.
Speaker 8: Uh.
Speaker 6: They say you better be funny, just kidding. I know
Speaker 6: you will be that. They knew you were going to
Speaker 6: be on this, Jordan. So here we go. Here's the
Speaker 6: purchase card. Thanks, that's not what they're called. Here's the
Speaker 6: purchase card, and then my chest opens for a fraudulent
Speaker 6: purchase card.
Speaker 3: Hello, I'd like to buy eight hundred dollars worth of coffee.
Speaker 2: Please, do you have your purchase card?
Speaker 3: Yes, it's right here. It's worth a thousand.
Speaker 5: What is the maximum amount you can put on a
Speaker 5: purchase card?
Speaker 2: The most I've gotten fort Starbucks fifty?
Speaker 5: No.
Speaker 7: I mean like, can you put like twenty thousand dollars
Speaker 7: in the Starbucks card and smuggled across the border.
Speaker 3: That's what you were doing at the bank.
Speaker 7: Well, it was it was like I was like, well,
Speaker 7: there was some you were parked around the corner. There
Speaker 7: were some alarm bells that went off.
Speaker 2: It is so funny. That is probably a version of
Speaker 2: that money money laundering.
Speaker 3: What does everybody want?
Speaker 5: Oh? God, they have? Oh yes, gonna have anything you want?
Speaker 2: James, Yeah, oh boy?
Speaker 4: Can I get a triple tall one pump Moca hot and.
Speaker 2: Then all the Grande coffee hot with almond milk.
Speaker 3: And a Grande coffee with almond milk?
Speaker 8: Uh?
Speaker 5: Get a decaf latte with almond milk?
Speaker 4: Can we get a grande decaf latte with almond milk?
Speaker 3: And then we're done?
Speaker 6: Well, I'm excited to see your special. I was going
Speaker 6: to go to the taping. I have a good excuse.
Speaker 6: I can't remember why, but I knew it went on.
Speaker 6: I had an alarm go off.
Speaker 2: James, you really go to the allsion.
Speaker 5: It's funny. Nate Craig, our buddy was there. Always loves
Speaker 5: my old, my old seven years so funny, no notes,
Speaker 5: so fucking funny. Check this out. Got a bit of mine,
Speaker 5: so I could do better.
Speaker 6: You know what's I've always known, but I haven't always
Speaker 6: known it. I learned because he was in the same
Speaker 6: house for seven years. He's very good at impressions, but
Speaker 6: he doesn't like that's just hanging out.
Speaker 2: Have you noticed taken morph into people?
Speaker 7: Sure, yeah, yeah, but a lot of people just don't
Speaker 7: do things in their acts.
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah.
Speaker 5: I believe in it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't stand behind it.
Speaker 6: Yeah, I can't talk one of these types of guys
Speaker 6: on the stage inside of assuming some voice.
Speaker 2: When I moved here, there was some I can't remember who.
Speaker 6: It was like a new manager that kept almost by
Speaker 6: sending me messages and voicemails telling me I need to
Speaker 6: start doing characters. And it made me uh no, but
Speaker 6: he definitely knew her. This is I'll say her name
Speaker 6: after we're done.
Speaker 7: This is a character that Nate and I do with
Speaker 7: each other, back and forth. It's like the California guy.
Speaker 7: It's like a deep California Beach. But he's just from
Speaker 7: any anywhere in southern California besides Hollywood or Beverly Hills.
Speaker 5: This guy's from Okay.
Speaker 8: Oh actually, hold on, this is Oh there he is, Yeah,
Speaker 8: this is he should get in here.
Speaker 5: This is my buddy bro Me and he also knows
Speaker 5: Nate greg.
Speaker 2: Sand on his feet.
Speaker 7: Dude, what's up, dude, Serishly, you guys are fucking legends.
Speaker 5: Dog, you guys are fucking legends.
Speaker 7: Fucking driving around, I listened to the fucking pod, Dude,
Speaker 7: I'm from fucking I'm from fucking Seriously, I'm from Rodondo.
Speaker 7: But like I got cousins up in Manhattan Beach, like
Speaker 7: fucking everywhere. Dude, I wasn't Thousand Oaks last week, dude,
Speaker 7: fucking working on my truck, fucking trying to fucking raise
Speaker 7: my truck.
Speaker 5: Got to lower my kid. Dude. You guys are fucking animals.
Speaker 7: Whatever they're putting in the water, Dude, you guys are
Speaker 7: fucking huge.
Speaker 5: Jude. I was with my buddy Eugene, and he's.
Speaker 7: Got fucking cousins in all five covey he got he
Speaker 7: got Corona in Corona, dude, because he's fucking working, he's
Speaker 7: fucking working he works at he fucking he works at
Speaker 7: this factory where they take hats and they flip them
Speaker 7: backwards on people's head. And he got fucking he was
Speaker 7: in Corona, and he fucking got Corona. Dude, I had,
Speaker 7: I got Pomona, Corona.
Speaker 5: Dog.
Speaker 3: I know this guy, right, Yeah, there is.
Speaker 7: Anyway fucking I gotta talk to a buddy over here
Speaker 7: because I gotta fucking I gotta fucking figure some ship out.
Speaker 7: But you guys are welcome to come by anytime. I'm
Speaker 7: just right where the ninety crosses the one oh five
Speaker 7: right there by, like Tyler's Surf Shop and Burger Sharks.
Speaker 5: Dude, sick, sick, fucking keep it up.
Speaker 4: Dude, do you have a little bit of chop in
Speaker 4: the works hearing?
Speaker 5: That's detail work, dude, that's.
Speaker 7: You wouldn't even fucking believe it. That's just fucking that's
Speaker 7: just a you know what, h you know, a nun
Speaker 7: a call? Yeah, yeah, So I fucking quit. But I
Speaker 7: got a fake drawing there. It's just a pabble I
Speaker 7: fucking picked up at this construction site.
Speaker 5: Dude.
Speaker 7: I think this is my bird scooter picking me up.
Speaker 7: So I'm gonna fucking get out and catch my bird.
Speaker 7: Fucking sick dog.
Speaker 5: I can keep it real, dude, keep it real, for sure,
Speaker 5: for sure, for sure.
Speaker 6: That is so many people that actually lived near that
Speaker 6: apartment we shared.
Speaker 2: One guy had.
Speaker 6: Like two limousines that we're supposed to blossom into a business.
Speaker 2: Did you ever see the leopard limousines in that?
Speaker 7: No, there was a this is a whole scandal, yes,
Speaker 7: because he like defrauded people living in them or something.
Speaker 5: What.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think Nate knew someone a girl.
Speaker 5: I've heard the story that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that, Uh, he left the sky roof.
Speaker 6: Why do I the moonroof the sky roof, I'm from
Speaker 6: another the sun. Let's just the sun and not the
Speaker 6: whole sky. And also this girl's ship in it because
Speaker 6: he was funny and the guy was an asshole, but
Speaker 6: he is do.
Speaker 5: He tried the wrong thing, so she got up out
Speaker 5: through the sun room.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he basically he tried the wrong thing, and then
Speaker 6: they knew where he lived. He like abandoned them, Hey
Speaker 6: want to ride in my limo, and he took them
Speaker 6: to a party, left them, and then when she's back
Speaker 6: in the neighborhood, she.
Speaker 2: Saw the limo and she shot into the sun.
Speaker 5: Room, which because it was sick. It is super sick.
Speaker 7: This guy had like four or five limousines that were
Speaker 7: like or more that were like leopard print, yes, and
Speaker 7: as his branding and Leopard limo.
Speaker 6: And had to move them every street sweeping day. And
Speaker 6: they're not easy to park.
Speaker 7: And it's venice which is built over like the canals
Speaker 7: that they filled in.
Speaker 5: It's not made for cars anywhere.
Speaker 3: No, there's no garages. There's no stacked garages like in
Speaker 3: New York City where he his part.
Speaker 7: There's a few drowned people down there that we just
Speaker 7: built the road right over.
Speaker 6: I saved his business card and believe it or not,
Speaker 6: it's called Leopard limos And uh.
Speaker 5: Was the business card in leopard print? Yes?
Speaker 4: Good?
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, And.
Speaker 5: So that's what I would have said as a consultant.
Speaker 5: And then why do I have a leopard print business?
Speaker 6: Got to yeah, he he had that business failed.
Speaker 7: I want to see him screaming at an auto body
Speaker 7: shop and going.
Speaker 6: Like, it's fucking Cheta, it's fucking Cheata.
Speaker 5: You ruined me. Yeah.
Speaker 6: The leopard ones are more of a black horseshoe shape
Speaker 6: with a brown dot in the middle, whereas cheetah as a.
Speaker 7: Fucking Look at this, I'm running a fucking business, not
Speaker 7: cheetah choppers.
Speaker 5: All right.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he thinks the animal and then finds the vehicle.
Speaker 2: It's very difficult business plan.
Speaker 8: He's like, well, back to square one, and it's just
Speaker 8: it's like a whiteboard of like different cats, different kinds
Speaker 8: of vehicle.
Speaker 6: Yeah, he retired with beach bike because that's the last
Speaker 6: time we saw him. He was just walking a bike
Speaker 6: around with no tire and ripping roses out of our
Speaker 6: rose bush.
Speaker 2: He had lost his mind.
Speaker 7: There's nothing we would want to be cute to take
Speaker 7: Calco car hop into a Calico.
Speaker 3: Car's only six dollars on the skift card.
Speaker 8: Oh, they're like, ma'am, could you pull around to our
Speaker 8: secret driveway and answer a few questions than you?
Speaker 5: Yeah? About the Starbucks card, Yeah, there's starbards.
Speaker 7: There's suddenly there's like Starbucks security that shows up like
Speaker 7: at an airport.
Speaker 5: Remember you all throwers to be using his.
Speaker 3: Pike place regular coffee with almond milk.
Speaker 2: I believe that's me.
Speaker 5: Have you been drinking coffee today?
Speaker 6: That's that's been the most exciting part of Thank You.
Speaker 5: I'm not Oh that's I think. So you.
Speaker 7: Guys, we are in a moving vehicle with an entire
Speaker 7: podcast recording equipment underneath the coffee.
Speaker 5: I know, I I know you you're skillful.
Speaker 3: Oh that was great, Jesus.
Speaker 2: I thought someone was honking on the horn.
Speaker 5: It's the honking hour.
Speaker 3: Yes, I think they were honking over there. But I'll
Speaker 3: put this in my door. Thank you. I forgot I
Speaker 3: left it up there.
Speaker 7: My brother once had a great idea and he said
Speaker 7: he wished that the cars could have like an unhonked
Speaker 7: when you realize that the person was not wrong.
Speaker 5: Oh that's great to be like, Oh, sorry removed.
Speaker 3: Have we ever talked about your brothers. I'm so fascinated
Speaker 3: by the adn't brothers. I've met zero of them.
Speaker 6: I've met two of them. Oh yeah, and they're different
Speaker 6: from James. But one of them has the exact same voice.
Speaker 6: And at an old house you stayed at, I slept
Speaker 6: on the couch and he came in and I talked
Speaker 6: to him for like a half hour, thinking it was James,
Speaker 6: but just thinking you were a little off, like because
Speaker 6: we weren't riffing as much.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, there was no funny.
Speaker 6: This back and forth isn't as good as I see
Speaker 6: him with like Josh Fadom or whatever, because you and
Speaker 6: Josh Fatom would pretty much do the most watchable.
Speaker 2: I miss him him.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's I think he's still in Oklahoma.
Speaker 2: Really, he did.
Speaker 4: Our podcast during COVID from Oklahoma and it was so delightful.
Speaker 4: Just like, man, I feel like those are the people
Speaker 4: I definitely never appreciated being around them in the comedy world.
Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, right, these are all the people I.
Speaker 4: Get to be around, taking for granted, taking for granted,
Speaker 4: and then it's all kind of just gone.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know anyone. Now everyone went home.
Speaker 5: And now we stand on the ledge of the future.
Speaker 7: Yes, we the survivors, the community of what not, what.
Speaker 5: Should have been? What? What is?
Speaker 2: We did?
Speaker 7: It's a science fiction story inspired by the works of
Speaker 7: Ein Ran.
Speaker 2: It's all about me.
Speaker 3: Get your torn clothes and stand on the cliff.
Speaker 2: And read me.
Speaker 6: First, your brothers live in Los Angeles.
Speaker 5: Two of them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've only met too, probably the ones that live.
Speaker 5: Here, but they swap places sometimes.
Speaker 7: Really, Yeah, there's always one of us that doesn't live
Speaker 7: in LA It was me and it was another one.
Speaker 5: There was another one.
Speaker 6: When there's an odd man out, where where does he
Speaker 6: always go?
Speaker 7: One of my jokes is when I do like an
Speaker 7: Armenian show where Evan, I go like, I'm a quarter Armenia,
Speaker 7: but I have three brothers, so together we make one
Speaker 7: very unconvincing Armenia.
Speaker 4: I had an experience in the Starbucks one time and
Speaker 4: there was an Armenian I would I think I'm safe
Speaker 4: calling him an Armenian gangster of some kind. He could
Speaker 4: have just been like in a really nice tracksuit with
Speaker 4: a very large necklace, or he could have been involved
Speaker 4: in some crime.
Speaker 5: I don't There's also like, yes, there's also like gangster fashion.
Speaker 4: There's gangster fashion. There's just like yeah, there's people or opposers.
Speaker 4: Who knows. But this guy was intimidating it tough. He
Speaker 4: looked very tough. It looked like it seemed like other
Speaker 4: people were intimidated, and he was being so like, let
Speaker 4: me get you this, Like he was paying attention to
Speaker 4: me in a way where I'm like, hey, I'm wearing
Speaker 4: boot cut jeans and no makeup. I don't know why
Speaker 4: I am drawing your eye. And then I was like,
Speaker 4: this would be the best movie.
Speaker 3: In the world.
Speaker 4: It's like the Armenian gangster that like falls in love
Speaker 4: with you for no reason and then so like, sir,
Speaker 4: I don't I can't live this life with you.
Speaker 6: You are pitching so many good ideas today, and I'm
Speaker 6: sorry that.
Speaker 2: I mean another green light.
Speaker 7: You need any kind of Armenian representation, good or bad?
Speaker 2: Yeah, right, well this sounds good.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I like that one an unexpected and also.
Speaker 4: You know it could the discovery could be, Hey, just
Speaker 4: because I'm wearing a tracksuit doesn't mean I'm a gangster.
Speaker 5: Yeah, he's like, I'm dentist. I have a great practice.
Speaker 5: I noticed.
Speaker 3: This is why I love it.
Speaker 2: I also run track It's very appropriate that I'm wearing this.
Speaker 3: Those were I don't know actually if they were a medium.
Speaker 4: But the guys in tracksuits that hang out in the
Speaker 4: grocery store parking lot on Vermont, No, those are the
Speaker 4: guys I missed the most during quarantine. I was like, man,
Speaker 4: I would just love to see them just one more time.
Speaker 5: They're there. They're back.
Speaker 3: Thank god.
Speaker 2: That there's a corner where a lot of tracksuit whereing men.
Speaker 5: Hang out out between the Albertsons and the coffee Bean.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's just they.
Speaker 4: It's like the the I guess it would be the.
Speaker 3: Northernmost part of the parking lot.
Speaker 4: They kind of park their cars all around each other
Speaker 4: and then like discuss things, smoke.
Speaker 3: It's great.
Speaker 8: Yeah, sometimes I try to hang out around the edges,
Speaker 8: like the wrong kind of pigeon, trying to hang out
Speaker 8: with the other birds.
Speaker 3: Just poking your head around a little bit.
Speaker 7: But you know, there's like different kinds of Armenians, the
Speaker 7: different time periods that they immigrated here.
Speaker 3: Oh really yeah, so there's old schoolers.
Speaker 7: Yes, there's the different waves of genocide created different like
Speaker 7: immigration waves.
Speaker 2: Really is that's totally serious?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yeah, wow, Yeah.
Speaker 7: The oldest ones came even before the genocide to like
Speaker 7: Fresno and stuff, when they were already getting persecuted and stuff.
Speaker 7: And then there's like the Persian Armenians, the Lebanese Armenians
Speaker 7: are meetings for Turkey, and then uh, since the nineties,
Speaker 7: the Armenians from Armenia huh and that's uh, like other
Speaker 7: recent immigrants are like highest dancey, that's the word highest
Speaker 7: on is the word for Armenian, and so the highest
Speaker 7: dance the Armenians are the ones that are the recent
Speaker 7: arrivals and can you.
Speaker 3: Spot the difference or do you know it well enough?
Speaker 7: I'm not great, and sometimes I wait for people to
Speaker 7: self identify, you know, because sometimes you're like, oh, this
Speaker 7: guy's poor skaha, and you're like, oh, no, I was wrong,
Speaker 7: he's actually Armenian.
Speaker 5: Armenian.
Speaker 7: But you can tell if you know what to look for,
Speaker 7: like the way the music, the dress.
Speaker 1: Sure where they put their folding terear on the sidewalks
Speaker 1: and like, well there's like there's like class differences too,
Speaker 1: about like how American they are for how many generations
Speaker 1: they've been.
Speaker 2: Oh that's interesting.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 6: The only thing I can do that with I can
Speaker 6: tell when someone started skateboarding really yeah, if I'm with.
Speaker 5: A group, like like what decade they started?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can tell by what tricks they do?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Well nowadays everyone, even young people are so well rounded
Speaker 6: and do their homework on YouTube or whatever. You can't
Speaker 6: even tell they do tricks from all eras. So now
Speaker 6: I have no specialty.
Speaker 7: What is the what is like a dork the dorkiest
Speaker 7: old fashioned kind of skateboard tricks someone would do?
Speaker 2: Oh, I do a lot of them. The I really do.
Speaker 6: I'm not kidding, but oddly they come back into fashion.
Speaker 5: Like see you doing it?
Speaker 2: Yeah right, yeah, I'm setting that, you bet.
Speaker 5: But you did enough evangelizing in Venice and now you're up.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: No, it was very unpopular my pressure flips in Venice,
Speaker 6: But now they're coming back and the kids are doing them,
Speaker 6: so I'm back too.
Speaker 5: A pressure flap, a pressure.
Speaker 6: Flip rather, yeah, the rather than the momentum, like you're
Speaker 6: flipping it off the ground, you kind of you're it's
Speaker 6: you pressed on on it, much like you would play
Speaker 6: titty winks.
Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
Speaker 6: Do you know what tittaly winks is? Where you press
Speaker 6: the side of something to make it flip.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, dude, I heard you guys fucking talking about.
Speaker 5: Dude.
Speaker 7: I practiced that up on the fucking up on the
Speaker 7: fucking powder too, Dude. I was in fucking I was
Speaker 7: in fucking big Bear. I was fucking half tube. I
Speaker 7: was fucking half calf, half calf, half tu fucking bomb
Speaker 7: shredding down and I was fucking I was fucking six
Speaker 7: wings outside of tubular. And I fucking let me tell you, dude,
Speaker 7: there was no powder in fucking Arrowhead. When I was done,
Speaker 7: I fucking shot it. All over from Big Bear across
Speaker 7: the leg to Arrowhead.
Speaker 5: Dude.
Speaker 7: That's fucking sick, dude, I started back dogtown z boys, seriously.
Speaker 2: That yeah, that's the one thing that I think slam.
Speaker 6: If someone starts slaloming, set up up some orange cones
Speaker 6: and start slaloming with feet side by side, like how
Speaker 6: you ride a scooter appropriately, that would be the only
Speaker 6: thing where it's like, what's what's this guy doing? That's
Speaker 6: an old old Yeah, that's that's two schools too many schools.
Speaker 7: Ago, dude, I fucking rough rugged, I do fucking rough
Speaker 7: rugged outdoor fucking snowboards. Uh in the all season dude,
Speaker 7: fucking hot weather, dude, no wheels, just down the brush dude,
Speaker 7: Oh high style like in the woods.
Speaker 3: It's happening over here.
Speaker 6: That's a bubble car of course, Uncle close, Okay, there's
Speaker 6: too much.
Speaker 5: You gotta go check out this fucking bubble on you guys.
Speaker 5: Fucking sick. It's just like fucking burning man.
Speaker 2: It just says the bubble bus and there's a website.
Speaker 5: What a what a weirdo driving around with some gimmick.
Speaker 2: Out that's my favorite. We realize it later.
Speaker 6: Uh yeah, that it's so interest spring when the thing
Speaker 6: you're offering is just that you exist. My website is
Speaker 6: about Yeah, I'm in a I have a van and
Speaker 6: bubbles come out of it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Do you want me to drive to your place?
Speaker 3: I'll drive to the intersection where you stand from us.
Speaker 2: For a small fee and a handful of liquid detergent.
Speaker 5: I will anywhere.
Speaker 4: I just want to congratulate James on your space work
Speaker 4: is so strong. The ust character that when you knocked
Speaker 4: on the window, I was like, I know who's back.
Speaker 4: I know who it is based on the knock.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding.
Speaker 3: You said that was so realistic, Like anyway, yeah, ten.
Speaker 7: Years ago, he's riding along on the fucking footboard.
Speaker 6: I I almost I was in a panic, like we
Speaker 6: hit a deer ten years ago when Jesse Ventura was
Speaker 6: on the.
Speaker 2: Roof and it was horrifying.
Speaker 3: Yeah that was.
Speaker 6: And when you listen to it, you can it really
Speaker 6: sounds like you did good fully work. You should be
Speaker 6: old timey radio show punching meat.
Speaker 8: There's what you want to hear of the transmissions as
Speaker 8: anyone here, the transmission as a't coming through, I.
Speaker 3: Can hear you he's here.
Speaker 8: What kind of vehicle am I in you. Someone opened
Speaker 8: a portal. Someone opened a portal.
Speaker 5: I was.
Speaker 8: I was offline, off grid the moment I plugged in
Speaker 8: the mode, I downloaded my consciousness into the onboard computer.
Speaker 5: It's coming through the spear. It's just like a foundation.
Speaker 5: I live inside the vehicle. Jesse face.
Speaker 8: It's got to establish the foundation a third party.
Speaker 2: It's a Max Headroom version of Jesse Ventur's face on
Speaker 2: the iPad.
Speaker 8: On the iPad. That's a fix to the Tesla. That's
Speaker 8: fantastic engineering. Man, God, it's amazing how much Minnesota can
Speaker 8: you handle in one podcast. I know there is a difference.
Speaker 8: There is a difference. People say, oh, you can't do it,
Speaker 8: Jesse Ventura impression simply because Mike Glendell is.
Speaker 5: Sucking up the oxygen. So let me tell you something,
Speaker 5: good boy.
Speaker 8: I've been in the ring. I don't just fight with cotton,
Speaker 8: I felt. I fight with leather and turnbuckles. Nobody knows
Speaker 8: what a turnbuckle is unless you've been in the ring.
Speaker 8: From the Twin Cities, Yep, Twins turn turn Twin City turnbuckles.
Speaker 8: I'm from outside. I'm from I'm from Moose Lake. Does
Speaker 8: get it wrong. I was mayor of Brooklyn Park. Saint
Speaker 8: Paul is a dump. Saint Paul is a piece of garment.
Speaker 2: There's a nice mall there though.
Speaker 8: Look, I don't need a moll. Why would I need
Speaker 8: a moll. I've hunted predators. I've lived on the edge
Speaker 8: of death.
Speaker 3: What have you been doing lately, Jesse?
Speaker 8: Well, thanks, I'm glad you brought it up. Thank you
Speaker 8: for asking. Well, as you know, the two party system
Speaker 8: is broken. That's a given. That's a given. You've got
Speaker 8: two wings of the same bird. You've got. Let's you've
Speaker 8: got an office space and a modified garage in the
Speaker 8: same general building that's being put up for sale. The
Speaker 8: left hand does not know what the right hand is doing,
Speaker 8: and that's really difficult when you're trying to put somebody
Speaker 8: in a suplex.
Speaker 5: What I've been doing is sitting down with people, community
Speaker 5: by community on a listening tour, where I sit down
Speaker 5: with them and I just make them listen to what
Speaker 5: I have to say.
Speaker 3: Are you changing hearts and minds out there?
Speaker 8: I don't what do you What do you mean Karen,
Speaker 8: that I'm supposed to change a heart in a mind
Speaker 8: I don't need. I don't need anyone's heart and mind changed.
Speaker 8: I am Jesse the mind Ventura. I had my heart
Speaker 8: blown out in the jungles of Central America in nineteen
Speaker 8: eighty five by the original Predator. It was cybernetically re
Speaker 8: engineered to allow me to run for public office. I'm
Speaker 8: a former governor. I am the body. I don't care
Speaker 8: if people change their minds or hearts. I don't mind
Speaker 8: being in a permanent minority. Elections are not about winning,
Speaker 8: They're about being right. What I say is a popular
Speaker 8: What I say is popular. I'm right on all the
Speaker 8: issues in every issue. It's just that people think that
Speaker 8: I look like a guy who showed up without a
Speaker 8: date and at Jimi Hendrix's cover band concerts, the kind
Speaker 8: of guy who sits next you and starts talking about
Speaker 8: how he saw Hendricks and I do. That's one of
Speaker 8: the great icebreakers. I've seen Hendrix, I've seen the Rolling Stones,
Speaker 8: and let me tell you, there's nothing like WrestleMania.
Speaker 2: Mcmahn, do you still talk to McMahon.
Speaker 8: I don't talk to ven Spicmahn. That's a valid question.
Speaker 8: I don't talk to vitz Spicmahn. You know why I
Speaker 8: tried to unionize the wrestlers. I tried to bring them together.
Speaker 8: And you know who ratted me out, Hull Cogan. That's
Speaker 8: why I'll never talk to all Cogan again. Either ratted
Speaker 8: me out. Vince mcmahn fired me that day. He fired
Speaker 8: me from wrestling, a sport which at that point I
Speaker 8: had not personally done in over fifteen years. I was
Speaker 8: only an announcer. I was fired from a sport that
Speaker 8: I was retired from. Who else can say that? You
Speaker 8: think Chris Christie's gonna have that on his resume? I
Speaker 8: don't think so.
Speaker 3: Jesse.
Speaker 4: I feel like you would really actually be the answer
Speaker 4: to a lot of the political strife that we have
Speaker 4: today if you were still in Well, what I like
Speaker 4: to do.
Speaker 8: Is just dangle in front of the country and go, look,
Speaker 8: I'm still thinking about it. I'm four years older. I've
Speaker 8: said this five times already. I might be running. Am
Speaker 8: I running?
Speaker 5: There's no way of knowing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, what ticket would you run?
Speaker 8: It?
Speaker 5: Would you be? Why would I have to running a
Speaker 5: ticket just to get access to all the states?
Speaker 6: And yeah, I suppose you're right, seem like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 6: you'd make your own partner.
Speaker 5: You can win.
Speaker 8: I have experience, you can win an election with twenty
Speaker 8: eight percent.
Speaker 5: Of the vote.
Speaker 8: That means I don't even have to be on the
Speaker 8: ballot on half the states.
Speaker 3: Well, I totally vote for you.
Speaker 8: Well, you wouldn't be able to because you live in
Speaker 8: California and I have no intention of getting on the
Speaker 8: ballot in California.
Speaker 5: But we're going to win it anyway. You only need
Speaker 5: twenty eight.
Speaker 3: It's sterling when Jesse Venturist says your name.
Speaker 8: Look, I served in the underwater demolitions team with a
Speaker 8: kill Gariff. He was a monster, he was a beast.
Speaker 8: Let me tell you.
Speaker 5: He put the kill and kill Gariff. I see it
Speaker 5: in your eyes.
Speaker 3: Oh Jesse, we're so happy to have you in the
Speaker 3: car again.
Speaker 8: Well, you know, I don't mind writing passenger. I'm just
Speaker 8: I'm heading from a Robert Kennedy Junior rally. Oh no,
Speaker 8: or I was just standing in the back trying to
Speaker 8: steal focus because we have largely an overlapping audience, and
Speaker 8: I'm heading currently two a Mary Anne Williamson rally, where
Speaker 8: I'm going to do exactly the same thing. Oh God,
Speaker 8: I I think I'm right. I don't think I think
Speaker 8: it's I think I'm just asking questions. I don't think
Speaker 8: there's anything untoward about asking a simple question. You're a
Speaker 8: Hollywood screenwriter, your story. You write stories. You understand the storylines.
Speaker 8: I do equally. I'm a professional wrestler. I understand storylines.
Speaker 8: Sometimes there's injuries that happen in the ring. What's wrong
Speaker 8: with a tease? What's wrong with a misdirect? What's what's
Speaker 8: wrong with a red herring? I don't mind needing red herring.
Speaker 8: I have it on Fridays. I have red herring and
Speaker 8: pickled regrets.
Speaker 2: We go, oh god, oh sure.
Speaker 5: I'm not in the special.
Speaker 8: I'm not talking to James Adomian either, of all. I'm
Speaker 8: done with it. I'm not talking to him. I let
Speaker 8: him go and if he comes back back and I'll say, no, Jose,
Speaker 8: you will. We're not not going to know more friends
Speaker 8: with benefits either.
Speaker 3: You guys are such a good pair.
Speaker 5: We're not going to trade wrestling moves just because it's
Speaker 5: lightly homeboy rioting.
Speaker 8: No more of that. Those days are long over. He
Speaker 8: cut me out of a special. Why because he said
Speaker 8: it was too much Minnesota. He said what he said
Speaker 8: was Jesse. He sat down to me and he said, Jesse,
Speaker 8: why are you in my house? And what I said was, look,
Speaker 8: I heard you're doing a special. I want to be
Speaker 8: in it. He said, how'd you know? I said, how
Speaker 8: would you know that? I didn't know? I said, I know.
Speaker 5: Look.
Speaker 8: Look, And when I say look, it means that I
Speaker 8: don't think that they're looking at the situation correctly as
Speaker 8: it is, and they have to look at it the
Speaker 8: way I see it. Yeah, I said, look, you need
Speaker 8: to have me in the special as a third party option,
Speaker 8: neither a setup nor a punchline, but a liminal space.
Speaker 5: And he said, Jesse, I'd love to.
Speaker 8: There's nothing I've done that's more popular than my impression
Speaker 8: of you. He said, Jesse has opened so many doors
Speaker 8: for me. But you're simply not in the news at all.
Speaker 8: You're not relevant in any way. Why I can't There's
Speaker 8: no way I could brute force jam you into a
Speaker 8: stand up, specially without.
Speaker 5: It looking like a really ham fisted at tempted a man.
Speaker 5: Remember this guy, And.
Speaker 8: I said, and I said, you son of a bitch.
Speaker 8: I said, you, flammy jobber. You look like you're made
Speaker 8: of yesterday's muffins. Look at that body, I said, look
Speaker 8: at that body, McMahon. Even when I don't talk to him.
Speaker 8: I still haven't drammatically. I talked to him in a
Speaker 8: grammatical rhetorical sense.
Speaker 7: Look at that body on a McMahon, I think you,
Speaker 7: miss McMahon.
Speaker 5: He looks like an egg McMuffin. God fell off a
Speaker 5: bird scooter. Well here I am, yeah, here, I am.
Speaker 5: It's stuff.
Speaker 6: It looks like some red people ready to listen up
Speaker 6: on the left here.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's the it's I do some public service here.
Speaker 3: Nice.
Speaker 8: It's down at that. It's down with that fine and died.
Speaker 8: It's the five and dime five and died.
Speaker 2: He needs to pull over. Okay, not at all.
Speaker 8: I'm a Navy seal, and what that means is I'm
Speaker 8: not really a Navy seal. I'm u DT Underwater Demolitions Team.
Speaker 8: It predates the Navy seal in the same way that
Speaker 8: the Anglo's accents can be said to predate the current bridge. Well,
Speaker 8: there it is. There's my destination. It's spartan massage and spot.
Speaker 8: I'm jumping out here we go. It's time to tell
Speaker 8: them how to do a massage the right way. You'll
Speaker 8: find the bullet holes and you're working out from there.
Speaker 7: I think he's such a coman companying his way down back.
Speaker 4: He downloaded his consciousness into the tesla and then he
Speaker 4: got physically out of the tesla.
Speaker 7: It was like this, It was this blue light that
Speaker 7: happened on the sun roof and he kind of materialized.
Speaker 2: Wow, he just kind of turned to a giant salamander.
Speaker 3: He is a powerful, powerful presence that man.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: I don't know if you can see this, but he's uh,
Speaker 7: he's he's he's eating.
Speaker 5: The raw dough at that pizza restaurant next to the spot.
Speaker 6: He's not going where he said he was going. If
Speaker 6: you listen closely, you can hear him from here.
Speaker 4: The thing I love the most about Jesse Mantures I
Speaker 4: never watched wrestling. I've literally seen him talk four times
Speaker 4: and that is one of my favorite things that you do.
Speaker 6: And you aged him exactly nine years from the last time.
Speaker 5: I was just lightly older.
Speaker 3: Yeah he sounds a little. Yeah, he's a little congestic, Yeah.
Speaker 5: A little. That is the thing.
Speaker 7: There's different eras of Jesse Ventura. Yeah, there's like young
Speaker 7: as the announcer in wrestling where he's it's.
Speaker 5: Like, wow, look at that move right there. McMath.
Speaker 8: He really put that. He taught him. Who's submissive and
Speaker 8: who's dominant? And then now and then there was Governor
Speaker 8: Venturroo was like, I'll tell you, everybody could shut up.
Speaker 8: I don't care how beloved somebody is. Garrison Keeler could
Speaker 8: get stuffed. I'm Minnesota now.
Speaker 7: And now now he's like he's like he's older and
Speaker 7: he shaved the mustache and he's he just looks.
Speaker 5: He looks like when you see him now, it's like.
Speaker 8: Uh, I look like the guy at the Laguna Arts
Speaker 8: Festival that makes the tied eye shirts. I look like
Speaker 8: I have I have an ayahuasca retreat. I don't need
Speaker 8: to do it anymore. I've gone down.
Speaker 2: My path because he's a ponytail.
Speaker 5: But I'm happy. I'm happy to guide looking. We're looking
Speaker 5: to find their shot.
Speaker 2: You just look, Oh my god, oh I love it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: my jaw is sore.
Speaker 4: What if you named the special? Uh, don't look for
Speaker 4: Jesse Ventura because he's not here, right, something like that.
Speaker 7: I feel like, what would that? That's like, that's a
Speaker 7: that's a this. I mean this in the sweetest way.
Speaker 7: That's like a Mike kaplan. The Special is named after
Speaker 7: something that is not in the Special, as it were
Speaker 7: with an asterisk and a further title at the bottom of.
Speaker 6: Languages math. Oh oh that was highly enjoyable. Damn, how
Speaker 6: are we doing on?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 2: Do we wrap it up without doing the drop off?
Speaker 2: That would be ridiculous.
Speaker 8: Ring, that would be great. You know what, we ran
Speaker 8: a different kind of podcast that you know.
Speaker 5: We gotta get that studio here.
Speaker 6: Give you Actually we can continue with you in the car.
Speaker 3: Well, we're close though we are closed. We're moments away.
Speaker 7: We're cruising up on the location of the We're in
Speaker 7: restaurant heavan right now.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and look Little Armenia.
Speaker 5: Yep, welcome to Little Armenia.
Speaker 3: Thank you. Do you have anything to plug as a
Speaker 3: wrap up? Is there any topic you want?
Speaker 5: It's perfect.
Speaker 7: Yeah, obviously I have a stand up special that it
Speaker 7: is self produced and also I'm going to pass on it.
Speaker 5: And so that's so interest.
Speaker 7: You can do any it's d I y you can
Speaker 7: do anything that a network can do, tru true.
Speaker 5: So I can.
Speaker 7: I can give myself notes and then when I address
Speaker 7: my own notes, then go, oh, you didn't address your
Speaker 7: own notes, and then use that as an excuse to
Speaker 7: pass on my own project, just like a network or yeah, sure,
Speaker 7: so that'll come out at some point in this.
Speaker 2: Fall, and and do you think you'll put it on
Speaker 2: YouTube or probably.
Speaker 7: You we've talked about just putting it on USB sticks.
Speaker 3: Throwing it out an airplane.
Speaker 2: It's not a bad idea to give someone a hard copy.
Speaker 7: That would And but then but show up like a
Speaker 7: cyberpunk future where you're like and have stage some like
Speaker 7: laser cops to arrest.
Speaker 5: You and be like and be like, this is the
Speaker 5: truth and.
Speaker 7: Throw like fifty USB sticks out and one person will
Speaker 7: pick it up and like, listen.
Speaker 3: To it the truth.
Speaker 8: But then I have to get like laser taste.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that's gorilla street marketing.
Speaker 5: I would see.
Speaker 8: I'm giving someone a really good idea because I don't
Speaker 8: have the budget to do that.
Speaker 4: Do the RoboCop, so do not pick up any you
Speaker 4: don't pick up any of the USB sticks.
Speaker 5: The universal.
Speaker 8: The Universe system bus must be returned to its whiteful orders.
Speaker 5: You were in possession author comedy. It's the future.
Speaker 3: That's well, that's a great plug.
Speaker 8: So yeah, that'll be that'll be out soon or censored.
Speaker 8: And here we are in Little Armenia. Appropriate it's appropriate
Speaker 8: at the moment. I want to plug uh. A couple
Speaker 8: of charities given the crisis happening there.
Speaker 3: Yes, sorry, my sister's calling.
Speaker 5: You see, they don't let you talk about Armenian stuff.
Speaker 6: That's the crisis announcement alarm that happened to me when
Speaker 6: I was on CNN two.
Speaker 3: She actually works for the government.
Speaker 7: So backstory, catch Up attacked Armenia and ethnically one hundred
Speaker 7: and twenty thousand people from art SoC At this moment,
Speaker 7: they're still forcing out tens of thousands of people a day,
Speaker 7: and nobody knows who's surviving and who's not going to survive.
Speaker 7: Yet they had a kill list of four hundred people.
Speaker 7: There were thirty thousand children forced to evacuate.
Speaker 5: No and.
Speaker 7: Some kids have died, elderly women, men, and also many
Speaker 7: have survived and been forced into suddenly forced into the
Speaker 7: neighboring country of Armenia because it's illegal to enter Azerbaijan
Speaker 7: if you're an Armenian person. And so they've been putting
Speaker 7: this line out in the media where it's like, no,
Speaker 7: we could be trusted to have an Armenian minority, but
Speaker 7: also we did don't acknowledge the previous genocide, and we're
Speaker 7: going to kill people when we get out our hands
Speaker 7: on it. So it's a really bad situation. There's good
Speaker 7: things that are being done.
Speaker 8: I would just ask people to educate yourself, follow what's happening.
Speaker 8: You can always follow their media network and all these
Speaker 8: I'm gonna name are on Instagram because that's I feel
Speaker 8: where people go.
Speaker 7: Their media network z our Tonk Media and this is
Speaker 7: all spelled phonetically, believe it or not, their media networks
Speaker 7: our Tonk Media, Armenian Alliance Bridging the Borders a NCA,
Speaker 7: which is the Armenian National Committee of America, many other organizations,
Speaker 7: Hui Riggs, GALLAS, which is the gay and Lesbian Armenian
Speaker 7: Society based here in Los Angeles.
Speaker 5: And there's many more organizations and everybody's helping each other.
Speaker 5: And there is a.
Speaker 7: Charity push for i think it's called All for Armenia.
Speaker 7: I'm gonna double check. It's linked on the Instagram page.
Speaker 7: It's a joint fundraiser that people are doing on Instagram.
Speaker 7: It's basically supporting the refugees and survivors of this genocide
Speaker 7: that's happened in art Sock in the last two weeks.
Speaker 6: And much like the first genocide, so many people don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of bizarre.
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's all for Armenia and it's a coalition of
Speaker 7: a bunch of different charities. There's a fundraising link on
Speaker 7: my Instagram and I'm trying to put it out in
Speaker 7: other places as I'm able to. And yes, the media
Speaker 7: coverage has been abhorrent. Yeah, and non existence. The New
Speaker 7: York Times there was a nine month blockade, starvation blockade
Speaker 7: yea Turks of Azerbaijan cut off Armenia artzok can refuse
Speaker 7: to let in any supplies and periodically cut the power
Speaker 7: off in the water and so forth. And The New
Speaker 7: York Times didn't write an article about it for nine months,
Speaker 7: and then they suddenly, just like yesterday, wrote an article
Speaker 7: where the subheadline said no one in a development no
Speaker 7: experts saw coming. The Arminians are now being removed from
Speaker 7: Nigrano Karabak And it's like, yeah, a lot of people
Speaker 7: saw it, You just didn't. You chose not to. The
Speaker 7: BBC is very bad too that Actually this bit is
Speaker 7: in my santap special where I'd make in front of
Speaker 7: the BBC's Armenia coverage where they're like, Armenia a land
Speaker 7: far beyond the boundaries of human empathy. What is Armenia?
Speaker 7: Do they deserve human rights? Up next this I want
Speaker 7: to discuss this matter. It's sitting official in the Turkish
Speaker 7: government and also an executive at a petroleum operation.
Speaker 3: Is that part of what it's about.
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 7: Yeah, there's a very lucrative pipeline from Baku to Sehan
Speaker 7: in Turkey and what's now Turkey used.
Speaker 5: To be Armenia, not Turkish.
Speaker 7: But there's a huge lucrative pipeline that they built in
Speaker 7: the last twenty five years, and it's an oil pipeline
Speaker 7: taking Caspian Sea oil and gas. There's actually three different pipelines,
Speaker 7: but they run right next to each other.
Speaker 5: And they take.
Speaker 7: They're owned majorities owned by BP, British Patroyum, and then
Speaker 7: the other shares are Chevron and Shell and I believe SOCAR,
Speaker 7: the Azerbaijani oil company, and then a couple of other ones.
Speaker 7: So another thing you can do to help Armenians, which
Speaker 7: also helps you help the world, is boycott BP, Chevron
Speaker 7: and Shell people.
Speaker 5: Nobody ever seems to want to do any play.
Speaker 7: Yeah, but yeah, the same the same forces that are
Speaker 7: killing the planet are killing the Armenians's happening at the
Speaker 7: same time.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that one is one that you can do.
Speaker 7: It's just don't go to BP, don't go to Chevron Mobile,
Speaker 7: don't go to Shell.
Speaker 5: What does that?
Speaker 7: What does that leave behind? Maybe RC, maybe maybe Sinclair.
Speaker 7: Maybe you need an electric car like a Tesla.
Speaker 6: Hey, I want Sinclair to be an Okay, when they
Speaker 6: have those the little dragon sculptures, it looks cute.
Speaker 5: I haven't looked. I don't know if they're.
Speaker 3: Good or it looks cute.
Speaker 4: They're also killing a ton of peoph of course, it's
Speaker 4: the way of the world.
Speaker 5: But ideally, you know, just.
Speaker 8: Get out of your cars if you can stop driving.
Speaker 8: And you know, if you have a lifestyle where you
Speaker 8: don't drive much.
Speaker 5: And occasionally you need.
Speaker 8: To get a ride somewhere, have fewer people who offer
Speaker 8: those services like this podcast.
Speaker 5: Do you need a ride?
Speaker 7: Who are there for you know, last mile service for
Speaker 7: people who don't usually drive but for a while.
Speaker 5: Sure, I'll take a ride car.
Speaker 6: It's all electric and we only take two hours to
Speaker 6: bring you to the bank for a simple.
Speaker 4: So what if it took two hours except us James,
Speaker 4: though I've seen you on Blue Sky because I can't
Speaker 4: be on Twitter anymore.
Speaker 7: But I tried to get off, but then I was
Speaker 7: in the process of getting off, but then this Armenia
Speaker 7: crisis happened, right.
Speaker 4: And I've seen you but on Blue Sky mostly posting
Speaker 4: about this and just going wow. It really bums me
Speaker 4: out that James the domain seems to be one of
Speaker 4: the only people or one of the only any place
Speaker 4: that is.
Speaker 8: Talking about I don't like there are other people talking
Speaker 8: about it, but you have to like follow the people
Speaker 8: I'm reposting and stuff, and there's there are great journalists
Speaker 8: on the ground doing work who are there many Armenian journalists,
Speaker 8: many who aren't who are who are very close to
Speaker 8: what's happening and following it.
Speaker 5: But yeah, I didn't want to do this.
Speaker 7: It's like, I know it's not funny, and it's like
Speaker 7: I have fans and stuff, and you know, when your
Speaker 7: ears are burning and you're like I can tell people
Speaker 7: are like this sure isn't funny, and it's like.
Speaker 5: I know it isn't.
Speaker 7: I'm sorry, but also an a human being and no
Speaker 7: one else is talking about it.
Speaker 3: It's important. It's important.
Speaker 7: So you can blame the Turks for me not being
Speaker 7: funny about the latter day Armenian genocide.
Speaker 6: Well, I like not funny James Adomain as much as
Speaker 6: I like funny James.
Speaker 7: I like, I'm trying to get looking for an exit strategy,
Speaker 7: you know, on the industry, and that's.
Speaker 5: Not what I'm turning it into.
Speaker 6: But I really I mean it, and not in a
Speaker 6: conclusionary way. But we are in front of her place.
Speaker 5: That's nice.
Speaker 7: Thanks for dropping me off back here in Sherman Oaks
Speaker 7: where I live.
Speaker 3: I miss you. I haven't seen you in so long.
Speaker 5: I know it's been a while.
Speaker 3: It's nice to see it.
Speaker 5: It's great to see you. Care. I know you don't
Speaker 5: look at the road for a second.
Speaker 3: I know, just for a moment.
Speaker 2: Back of the head or nothing.
Speaker 5: James don't. He doesn't want you to see the stars crying.
Speaker 3: He's crying.
Speaker 5: He's trying. He's like, you get out of that car.
Speaker 5: It's good to see you too.
Speaker 3: I don't miss you at all.
Speaker 5: Well, thanks, Do I keep the microphone? No?
Speaker 6: No, they're expensive. You've been listening to Do you Need
Speaker 6: a Ride? D Y N A R.
Speaker 2: This has been an exact play right.
Speaker 3: Production, produced by Analise Nelson.
Speaker 2: Mixed by Edson Choi.
Speaker 4: Our talent booker is Patrick Cottner.
Speaker 2: Theme song by Karen Kilgarrett, artwork.
Speaker 3: By Chris Fairbanks.
Speaker 4: Follow the show on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook at dinar
Speaker 4: podcast That's d y nar podcast.
Speaker 6: For more information, go to exactly rightmedia dot com.
Speaker 3: Thank you, Oh you're welcome.
Speaker 9: I'm so glad to come together in Royde, share in
Speaker 9: public transit, in small, locally sourced podcasts.
Speaker 5: We must come together in the interests of Ronical Transpower Fund.
Speaker 8: So that once again the bottom ninety percent will be
Speaker 8: able to have an equal playing field against the top
Speaker 8: one percent of the top ten percent of the top
Speaker 8: two percent of the let's say, five of seventeen percent
Speaker 8: of twenty nine thousand.
Speaker 5: And that's just pure map.
Speaker 2: It's hard to visualize.
Speaker 3: You were right, You've always been right. Bernie.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sick.
Speaker 2: So it's his mic still on.
Speaker 5: Oh I didn't even I'm that loud. I didn't even.
Speaker 2: You know, it's okay, it where it'll still work.
Speaker 5: They're good mics.
Speaker 2: That's why you can't believe it.
Speaker 8: When I was born in the late nineteenth century, they
Speaker 8: handed me a loudspeaker and I said, well, thank