1 00:00:00,760 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:04,080 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: need advice on relationships, sex, parenting, dating, work, and more. 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: Please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com 4 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. Okay, we could be reading 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like we're gonna 6 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now. Barcome up, hold 7 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:27,360 Speaker 1: on tight, We got it. Fun. Yes, Strawberry Letter, Thank you, nephew. 8 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:31,840 Speaker 1: Subject My husband is not a good cheater. Dear Stephen Shirley, 9 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:36,080 Speaker 1: My husband and I have been married for almost thirty years. 10 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: We both have professional jobs and we make a good living. 11 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,800 Speaker 1: My husband is genuinely a good guy, but he's also 12 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: a big time cheater. The first time he cheated on me, 13 00:00:46,920 --> 00:00:50,440 Speaker 1: I was pregnant with our oldest child. I forgave him 14 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:53,760 Speaker 1: then because I was young and pregnant, but years later 15 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:56,360 Speaker 1: I found out he was still cheating. I let it 16 00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: slide again and things just kind of went back to normal. 17 00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: Over the years, I have confronted him about his inappropriate 18 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,320 Speaker 1: contact with women, and just last year, we ran into 19 00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:08,760 Speaker 1: a married woman that he met at the gym, and 20 00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:10,800 Speaker 1: a week later, the woman popped up at my house 21 00:01:10,840 --> 00:01:13,720 Speaker 1: to take our youngest child on a playdate with her child. 22 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:17,040 Speaker 1: I cursed him out and let him know how stupid 23 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:19,279 Speaker 1: he was to have this woman show up at my house. 24 00:01:19,640 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 1: So we finally had counseling, and I thought that we 25 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:26,360 Speaker 1: would be fine. He goes on an annual vacation with 26 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,640 Speaker 1: guys from college, and this year they went to Laguna 27 00:01:29,680 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: Beach to golf and hang out. When he got home, 28 00:01:32,680 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: he was in a really good mood, so I tried 29 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: to get some welcome home sex. He pushed me away 30 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: and said he was drained. He passed out on the 31 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 1: couch and I noticed that he left his carry on 32 00:01:45,240 --> 00:01:49,800 Speaker 1: bag in the garage. I thought that was odd, so 33 00:01:50,600 --> 00:01:53,440 Speaker 1: I went and got it and went through it. I 34 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:57,080 Speaker 1: found a prepaid phone, and I turned the power on 35 00:01:57,240 --> 00:02:00,280 Speaker 1: and read all of the text messages between him and 36 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 1: his lover, and I saw all of the pictures from 37 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 1: their nice weekend together. It looks like for the past 38 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 1: three years he has been going on a romantic getaway 39 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:13,200 Speaker 1: with her. This is it, guys. I'm ready to call 40 00:02:13,280 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 1: it quits, and he needs to know that I mean 41 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:18,760 Speaker 1: business this time. I want to do something mean, but 42 00:02:18,880 --> 00:02:21,119 Speaker 1: I don't want to be too low down. I don't 43 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,919 Speaker 1: want him to think he can beg his way out 44 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: of this one, please advise. Yeah, so let me get 45 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 1: this straight. What are you asking us to help you 46 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,639 Speaker 1: do something mean but not too mean to your husband. 47 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:37,840 Speaker 1: We don't want to be a party to that, okay, 48 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 1: because guess what, you've been putting up with this for 49 00:02:41,520 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: thirty years. He's been cheating on you for thirty years. 50 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: That's a lifetime. Okay, And I definitely disagree with you. 51 00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:53,560 Speaker 1: You say your husband's a good guy, he's generally a 52 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: good guy. This is not a what a genuinely good 53 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:59,120 Speaker 1: guy does. He cheated on you when you were pregnant, 54 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:02,920 Speaker 1: then he cheated on you after that, and then after that. Okay, 55 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,960 Speaker 1: Genuinely good guys do not do that. Genuinely good guys 56 00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:11,359 Speaker 1: don't lie to you about going on trips with their boys. 57 00:03:11,440 --> 00:03:14,240 Speaker 1: And you know he's been with this woman for three 58 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,200 Speaker 1: years all of that. So for me, you don't have 59 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,240 Speaker 1: to do anything low down. I mean, you could do 60 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:22,519 Speaker 1: that if you want to just leave him, divorce him. 61 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: You keep taking him back, so to him, that was, 62 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,800 Speaker 1: you know, an excuse to keep doing it, or a 63 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,720 Speaker 1: reason to keep doing it. You know, Hey, he could 64 00:03:31,720 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 1: do it, get away with it because he knew you 65 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 1: would always take him back. Well, this time, don't take 66 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:42,560 Speaker 1: him back. How about that? Do something different? All right, Steve, Wow, 67 00:03:43,120 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: this letter is like, uh, it's really an amazing letter. See, 68 00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: this is how a man gets away with it. Because 69 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: the first time he cheated while you was pregnant, you 70 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 1: was young, and you forget save him. Uh, then you 71 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:07,400 Speaker 1: found out he was still cheating, and then you let 72 00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: it slide again, and then things went back to normal. 73 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: And then uh, over the years, you've just confronted him 74 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:25,800 Speaker 1: about inappropriate contact with women. And then just this past year, 75 00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:31,600 Speaker 1: met this lady at the gym and a week later, Uh, 76 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,440 Speaker 1: he show up. She showed up at your house to 77 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:40,880 Speaker 1: take your youngest child on a play dat. Oh well 78 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:45,040 Speaker 1: then you cussed at him. That was good. You cussed 79 00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 1: at him for that one something and let him know 80 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:51,520 Speaker 1: that and told him he was stupid. So you can 81 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 1: custom told him he was stupid. Well, then y'all go 82 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,640 Speaker 1: to counseling. He gonna go off trip. You want to 83 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:06,080 Speaker 1: have some welcome home sex. He passed out, tell you 84 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 1: he tied. Well here you ain't tied now, dumbass to 85 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:15,800 Speaker 1: left his bag carry on in the garage, and you 86 00:05:15,880 --> 00:05:18,600 Speaker 1: then went out there and went through it, found a 87 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:24,160 Speaker 1: prepaid phone card, read all the texas and saw all 88 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 1: these pictures of these wonderful weekends that he had. So 89 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,599 Speaker 1: then after that, he's still in that sleep. Looks like 90 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: for the past three years he's been going on a 91 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:39,839 Speaker 1: romantic getaway with her. This is it, guys, I'm ready 92 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,280 Speaker 1: to call it quick climb Old. When you found a 93 00:05:44,400 --> 00:05:49,520 Speaker 1: prepaid phone card and went through all the texas and 94 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:54,000 Speaker 1: saw all these pictures of this wonderful weekend, he's still 95 00:05:54,120 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 1: in that sleeping on the couch. See see this he is. 96 00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:05,479 Speaker 1: He's still sleep on the count. You know how you 97 00:06:05,560 --> 00:06:12,200 Speaker 1: gonna show him? This is it, guys. Yep, after thirty 98 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 1: some years or what I just described this yell, I 99 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,920 Speaker 1: want to do something mean, but I don't want to 100 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:22,839 Speaker 1: be too mean. But I don't want to even think 101 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:25,240 Speaker 1: he can beg his way out of this one. Yes, 102 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 1: you do, because what you've done is you've created a 103 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:38,599 Speaker 1: conducive atmosphere for cheating to not only survive, but to thrive. 104 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 1: Hold that thought, Steve. We'll have part two of a 105 00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,159 Speaker 1: Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after the 106 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:49,039 Speaker 1: hour's subject of today's Strawberry Letter, my husband is not 107 00:06:49,520 --> 00:06:52,599 Speaker 1: a good cheater. We'll be back right after this. You're 108 00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:57,800 Speaker 1: listening show, all right, Come on, Steve, Let's recap today's 109 00:06:57,800 --> 00:07:01,280 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letters. Subject my husband is not a good cheater. 110 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: Here's a lady been married to this dude that's not 111 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: a good cheater. I beg two different because in the 112 00:07:13,680 --> 00:07:16,239 Speaker 1: letter he proves that he's one of the greatest cheaters 113 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:21,080 Speaker 1: of all time. Why because he's been doing it to 114 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: you for over thirty years and he still got you pregnant. 115 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:34,840 Speaker 1: You forgave it. Cheat again, let it slide. Continue to 116 00:07:34,840 --> 00:07:41,600 Speaker 1: have appropriate, inappropriate contact with women. You don't understand that matter. 117 00:07:41,720 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: Lady at a gym next week, the lady at your 118 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,640 Speaker 1: house popped up to take one of your children on 119 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:53,080 Speaker 1: the play date. You got to be kid. All you 120 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:58,080 Speaker 1: did was cousin Martin called him stupid. So now he 121 00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:03,480 Speaker 1: goes on a golf trip. Come in tide pass out. 122 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 1: You go out there and looking his overnight bag, find 123 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 1: a prepaid phone call with pictures in it, pictures of 124 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:14,560 Speaker 1: this woman for this wonderful weekend. Hearing that sleep, you 125 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,800 Speaker 1: ain't wake him up. You come to the conclusion, look 126 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 1: like they've been seeing each other for three years. Yeah, 127 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 1: this is it, guys, Yeah, this is it. I want 128 00:08:26,880 --> 00:08:29,760 Speaker 1: to do something real mean to him, but nothing too low, 129 00:08:30,320 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: because I don't want him to think he can beg 130 00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: his way back. Like I told you, man, you've created 131 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:44,400 Speaker 1: a conducive atmosphere for cheating to thrive, not only survive, 132 00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 1: but to thrive. Your husband is an excellent cheating because 133 00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:52,160 Speaker 1: he's so good at cheating. He does it right in 134 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:55,679 Speaker 1: your face. Because you ain't gonna do nothing. If all 135 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,920 Speaker 1: you're gonna do is custom me out and call me stupid, 136 00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: that's it. He in that sleeping while you going through 137 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:12,479 Speaker 1: his bag. Girl. In the words of Thomas Miles, grits 138 00:09:12,559 --> 00:09:16,160 Speaker 1: should have been on the stove coming to a slow 139 00:09:16,240 --> 00:09:22,839 Speaker 1: ball you know where how they bubble? Yeah, that should 140 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:26,640 Speaker 1: have been a buddy rabbit in a pot bawling at 141 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:34,640 Speaker 1: her house. Fair Fawcett would have set your damn whole 142 00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:37,360 Speaker 1: bed on fire. Oh you'd have been in that sleeper 143 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 1: when you woke up, Your gass would have been hot. 144 00:09:42,520 --> 00:09:49,480 Speaker 1: Ain't no stabbing? How's his cost still running? How you 145 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:54,319 Speaker 1: ain't putting sugar in the tank and slashed all them ties. Show, 146 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:59,679 Speaker 1: I don't even understand what we're talking about. You ain't 147 00:09:59,720 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: set at one five. You ain't set the gym bag 148 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,600 Speaker 1: on fire. You ain't broke no falls. He ain't got 149 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 1: no cuts on him here in that sleep and been 150 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:15,120 Speaker 1: in the house thirty years now you want to do 151 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,440 Speaker 1: something to him mean but not too low down? Well, 152 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:25,480 Speaker 1: you've called into the wrong show. I take a ball 153 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 1: ping hammer while he sleep and just knocked both his 154 00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: front teeth out. It's hard to be a player when 155 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:39,400 Speaker 1: you snag a tooth. It ain't a lot of players 156 00:10:39,480 --> 00:10:44,199 Speaker 1: with the two front teeth missing. It's really really hard 157 00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:48,640 Speaker 1: to be a player, which you too front tago. No, 158 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:55,079 Speaker 1: that ain't sexy at all. It's hard to be a player. 159 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 1: And you gotta walker see because I'm a bus Both 160 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: your damn need caps. You. You don't even understand. I 161 00:11:09,040 --> 00:11:11,600 Speaker 1: don't even understand why you're talking about. You don't even 162 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:16,199 Speaker 1: want to be lowdown? Ain't he been lowdown? He has 163 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:21,040 Speaker 1: not faced any consequences for his actions cussing me out 164 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 1: and calling me stupid because your letter, the whole letter, 165 00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:27,880 Speaker 1: the title of it, My husband is a bad cheater. 166 00:11:28,679 --> 00:11:32,800 Speaker 1: No he's not. He's actually pretty good at it. My 167 00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:35,320 Speaker 1: husband is not a good cheater. He's a great cheater 168 00:11:35,640 --> 00:11:39,439 Speaker 1: because he keeps cheating and keeps being allowed to cheat. 169 00:11:40,760 --> 00:11:44,880 Speaker 1: If you make a conducive atmosphere for cheating, ma'am, what 170 00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:48,960 Speaker 1: do you want to happen? A man will do whatever 171 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:52,679 Speaker 1: were allowed to get away with it if you if 172 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:55,240 Speaker 1: you don't, if you keep getting in the car doing 173 00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 1: we ain't got to open it. We won't open it. 174 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:00,400 Speaker 1: If we don't go pick up the kids, it's ever 175 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,520 Speaker 1: you're gonna go, get to kill it. If we don't 176 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 1: let you see how much money in the account you you, 177 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 1: we won't let you see it. If we don't tell 178 00:12:08,520 --> 00:12:10,839 Speaker 1: you where we're going, and you'll never ask and make 179 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: no deal of it, we even tell you where we're going, 180 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:19,960 Speaker 1: that's all to it. A lot of this is your fault. Now, 181 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,840 Speaker 1: Is he a good dude? Like Shirley said, absolutely not. 182 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:26,840 Speaker 1: But you didn't have to stay with this not good man. See, 183 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 1: your definition of everything is wrong. He's not a good cheating, 184 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 1: he's a great cheating. He's a really good guy. No 185 00:12:32,679 --> 00:12:38,480 Speaker 1: he's not. No, he's not. He's not a really good guy. 186 00:12:39,800 --> 00:12:49,800 Speaker 1: He's just not. He abuses you. He's not a good guy. Damn, damn, 187 00:12:51,080 --> 00:12:56,040 Speaker 1: He's not all right, Steve. We gotta get out of here. 188 00:12:56,160 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letters for him, Nix 189 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: and Facebook. Please don't forget to check out the Strawberry 190 00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand now coming up atty. It won't 191 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: be for me though, from the Talk our Girl Cheryl Underwood. 192 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:18,280 Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning 193 00:13:18,280 --> 00:13:18,559 Speaker 1: Show