Speaker 1: Hell I Suck at Dating with Denglert and Dared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heard radio podcast. Hey, welcome to the Thursday
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck at Dating. The caller section
Speaker 1: one of our favorite sections. Dean is still backpacking with
Speaker 1: no cell service, so let's just all make sure. Let's
Speaker 1: just start writing letters to him and hopefully he gets them. Uh,
Speaker 1: but we have three callers coming in. We have Began, Alissa,
Speaker 1: and Caleb telling our their story about well if they
Speaker 1: need any advice or how they suck at dating, or
Speaker 1: maybe how they don't suck at dating. So let's get
Speaker 1: the first caller up here. Megan. Oh, Becca's joining us
Speaker 1: becas back Becky Tilly is back ladies and gentlemen to
Speaker 1: help with these callers. So let's bring Megan up on
Speaker 1: the line. Megan, are you there? I'm here? Hello, Hello Megan?
Speaker 1: How are you welcome to Help I Suck a Dating?
Speaker 1: Thank you? So what can we hope with? Well, I've
Speaker 1: been dating a guy for three months and things are
Speaker 1: going well. Um, but he's invited me to meet his
Speaker 1: siblings who are going to be in town soon. Um.
Speaker 1: And he wants to set up a trip actually for
Speaker 1: Labor Day. Weekend. My only reservation is that he's never
Speaker 1: dated anyone else besides me. Like we're moving fast. I mean,
Speaker 1: I want a long term relationship, but I'm just anxious
Speaker 1: that he doesn't know how to be in a long
Speaker 1: term relationship. From what I can tell, he was a
Speaker 1: player before we met, and he wanted to wait till
Speaker 1: he found the right girl to be in a relationship
Speaker 1: and introduced to his family. But what do you think
Speaker 1: about all of this? I gotta be honest. From now,
Speaker 1: I don't know much. But it feels like you're living
Speaker 1: a lot of people's dreams. Like you got him, you know,
Speaker 1: like a lot. It feels like if you said he
Speaker 1: was a player, there's been a lot of people trying
Speaker 1: to get him, and now you got him, You're you're
Speaker 1: meeting the family, you're in. This is it? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I get figured it that way. I won the Golden ticket. Yeah. Um, So,
Speaker 1: how how old a you? Guys? Thirty? Okay, so you're
Speaker 1: both thirty. So I don't know. I mean, if you're
Speaker 1: ready for a long term relationship and he seems all in,
Speaker 1: maybe he hasn't been in a long I mean, has
Speaker 1: he been in relationships before? Just nothing long term. He's
Speaker 1: never been in a long term relationship. I mean like
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks. Yeah, not much at all. So
Speaker 1: do you know if any so, do you know if
Speaker 1: he's Is it that you don't trust him? Or is
Speaker 1: it that you feel like he's moving too fast and
Speaker 1: has never had this experience before the ladder like he's
Speaker 1: he's moving too fast and he's never had this experience.
Speaker 1: So is he even sure that I'm the right one
Speaker 1: or is it just like, oh, he wants to be
Speaker 1: in a long term relationship, So I'm you know, I
Speaker 1: was there at the right time. It's not really about me,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. Here's my question because I
Speaker 1: can't figure out over your from your question. Do you
Speaker 1: like him? Oh? Yes I do? Yes, yes, yes, No,
Speaker 1: I liked him a lot. I'm nervous that we're moving
Speaker 1: too fast. Have you been in a long term relationship before?
Speaker 1: I have. I've been in a long term relationship before.
Speaker 1: It was about two years and so you met the
Speaker 1: whole fam and all that stuff. Yes, yes, I've done
Speaker 1: this before. What aspect of the relationship do you think
Speaker 1: is moving too quickly? I just it's only been three months,
Speaker 1: you know, and because he's never been in a serious relationship,
Speaker 1: It's like why now, I don't know. I just I
Speaker 1: just worried that he just wants it so badly that
Speaker 1: it might not be about me. It might just be
Speaker 1: about him being like, I haven't been in a serious relationship.
Speaker 1: People are giving me a hard time because I'm thirty. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean that's something you could totally address with him.
Speaker 1: I think he'd you know, uh, you should talk to
Speaker 1: him about that and just see you kind of where
Speaker 1: his head is at. But um, you know, sometimes I
Speaker 1: feel that in uh, in my own life at least,
Speaker 1: if something is going too well, I like to self
Speaker 1: sabotage it because I'm like, wow, it's going too well.
Speaker 1: Like this obviously can't be real, but sometimes it is.
Speaker 1: And um, you know, of course, don't rush in. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm not saying marry this guy right now, but you know,
Speaker 1: I think meeting the family and kind of taking steps
Speaker 1: towards a long distance for you know, taking steps towards
Speaker 1: building a strong foundation for strong future. I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's the worst thing, um, but uh, yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean listen, if he if he's like, hey, let's get
Speaker 1: married tomorrow, then yeah, tell him to slow down a
Speaker 1: little bit and you know, let's let's relax. Um. And
Speaker 1: I I understand where your reservations are, but I wouldn't
Speaker 1: see them as giant red flags. I would kind of
Speaker 1: go with the flow and and um, especially if you
Speaker 1: like him and you want to build something with this person, like,
Speaker 1: don't don't just ruin it because you're scared that I
Speaker 1: might be moving too quickly, you know, certainly slow things
Speaker 1: down a little bit. But I wouldn't. I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: too concerned. Yeah, I think you're right. It might be
Speaker 1: that he's because you said you feel like he's a player,
Speaker 1: and it might be that he's never found someone that
Speaker 1: he wanted to introduce to his family or people that
Speaker 1: he loves. So maybe he's just really excited to like
Speaker 1: get to that step and see what they think of you,
Speaker 1: because he really likes you. So I'm with Jared. I
Speaker 1: think you just enjoy it and maybe if it comes,
Speaker 1: if it if it's not settling in you, then maybe
Speaker 1: you bring it up to him and just say like,
Speaker 1: this is what I'm feeling, and I really like you.
Speaker 1: I like where this is going. But um, I think
Speaker 1: also just enjoy it. Because, like Jared said at the beginning,
Speaker 1: it sounds like you've got what everyone's wanted from him.
Speaker 1: I think you're right. That's such a good point. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much, an thank you back. I've always been
Speaker 1: the person too that I, um, I guess I've never
Speaker 1: seen meeting the parents as like the biggest deal. Is
Speaker 1: that bad? No, because I think we I think there's
Speaker 1: like I think it's important for I think it's important
Speaker 1: for the people that we love to love the person
Speaker 1: we're with. But there's been such a like societal expectation
Speaker 1: that your parents or your family has to love here
Speaker 1: with and like the pressure of meeting the family. So
Speaker 1: I actually appreciate that about you that you're like, well,
Speaker 1: I wasn't. I guess I just because especially coming from
Speaker 1: such a small state that like, my family is such
Speaker 1: a big part of my life that I never really
Speaker 1: thought of like, oh man, now they're meeting my parents,
Speaker 1: this is a huge deal. It was more like I've
Speaker 1: definitely been in short term relationships with people that have
Speaker 1: met my parents because like I had to go pick
Speaker 1: up my dog or something like that, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: just come with me, and then you meet my mom
Speaker 1: and dad and so maybe I was naive or ignorant,
Speaker 1: but I remember too. On Bachelor I and went with Caitlin,
Speaker 1: you know, the week before hometowns. So many guys were like,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know if I, you know, am
Speaker 1: in love with Caitlin as much as I need to
Speaker 1: be in order for her to meet my parents. And
Speaker 1: I remember always like nodding, being like yeah yeah. But
Speaker 1: in the back of my head, I'm like, I would
Speaker 1: love for Caitlin to me my parents like, yeah, me,
Speaker 1: my mom and dad like, of course, come to island. Yeah,
Speaker 1: my parents would. Literally this was kind of in my
Speaker 1: later like high school, early college, if I went on
Speaker 1: a date with a guy, he was expected to like
Speaker 1: come in and meet them, so like, I poor guys
Speaker 1: now looking back, but m yeah, I was always like
Speaker 1: that expectation. So I just I've never I'm the same
Speaker 1: as you. Like. I always felt like I was like nodding,
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, this is a huge deal. But no,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, It's just people, exactly. They're just people.
Speaker 1: You might not even like them, you know, I find people. Yeah,
Speaker 1: all right, So our next call is Alyssa, Alyssa, Hey, Lissa,
Speaker 1: how are you good? How are you guys doing very well.
Speaker 1: What can we help with? So? I am, um, I've
Speaker 1: been kind of down in the dump lately, since literally
Speaker 1: every person I know is either married or in a relationship.
Speaker 1: Where I've nearly made it to thirty not even coming
Speaker 1: close to having a serious relationship, I feel like I
Speaker 1: must be doing something wrong, and especially since everyone I
Speaker 1: know seems to not have a problem meeting someone, and
Speaker 1: I'm kind of worried that I might be too picky. Um,
Speaker 1: but I want to keep my standards high, So I'm wondering, like,
Speaker 1: do I need to be more open and date people
Speaker 1: that I usually wouldn't like? What am I doing wrong?
Speaker 1: I doubt you're doing anything wrong, Alyssa, Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: obviously the title of this podcast has helped us like
Speaker 1: a dating but it's, you know, meant to be playful.
Speaker 1: I doubt you're doing anything wrong. I'm sure that you
Speaker 1: just haven't met the right person yet. And um, also,
Speaker 1: I know you said you're down in the dumps right
Speaker 1: now because everybody around you is married. I totally get that.
Speaker 1: I've been in situations like that before, before I was
Speaker 1: with Ashley, where it's like everybody's in a relationship everybody's
Speaker 1: coupled up, so like you go to these places and
Speaker 1: you're by yourself and they're, you know, spending time with
Speaker 1: their certificate other. But at the same time, you gotta
Speaker 1: also remember you don't have to answer to anybody, which
Speaker 1: is quite nice. Like if you want to go take
Speaker 1: a ride, you can just take a drive. Like for me,
Speaker 1: I gotta get a babysitter. I gotta talk to Ashley.
Speaker 1: I gotta make sure she's not doing anything. Like there's
Speaker 1: so many times I come home from work I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh man, I just wish I could go play golf.
Speaker 1: And she's like, you don't want to go on a
Speaker 1: date with me, And I'm like, no, of course I do.
Speaker 1: But like, damn, I wish I just had some a
Speaker 1: long time. So don't ever take that. Don't don't ever
Speaker 1: take that for granted. A listen, It's a very important
Speaker 1: part of life. Yeah, Alissa, I just want to say, like, I, um,
Speaker 1: this is Becca. By the way, I I um did not.
Speaker 1: I dated Robert, my ex boyfriend, when I think I
Speaker 1: was like twenty eight, somewhere in that range. But my
Speaker 1: first serious relationship, which is the one I'm in now,
Speaker 1: didn't happen until I was literally about to turn thirty,
Speaker 1: and um, I think I'm so grateful for the time
Speaker 1: I had to like be independent and have these moments
Speaker 1: by myself, like Jared said, of doing whatever I wanted
Speaker 1: to do. And actually, my girlfriend's on tour right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm kind of like living this like not single life,
Speaker 1: but I'm alone, and I'm realizing all my friends are
Speaker 1: in relationships and have their own things going on. And
Speaker 1: of course, if if I was like, hey, can I
Speaker 1: come hang out or whatever, they would obviously have me.
Speaker 1: But I'm learning to do things that I love to
Speaker 1: do by myself and the like enjoying them. And I
Speaker 1: think Jared's right, like you're going to come to a
Speaker 1: point where you do have all these things and you
Speaker 1: don't have the um the independence that comes with being
Speaker 1: a single person, Like you can still be independent as
Speaker 1: someone in a relationship, but I think it's so so
Speaker 1: beautiful to be able to have this time by yourself.
Speaker 1: And I know it feels like everyone's moving on to
Speaker 1: new phases in their life, but um, I think just
Speaker 1: like soaked this time, and and also don't don't be
Speaker 1: so I think standards are so important. I don't think
Speaker 1: you should ever lower them or settle, but I do think, um,
Speaker 1: being open to dating people that maybe you would never
Speaker 1: have considered in the beginning, Like you might connect with
Speaker 1: someone that you never expect. So I think just like
Speaker 1: being open to different types of people in relationships, um,
Speaker 1: and just not overthinking it, like just dating and have
Speaker 1: fun as much as you can. Yeah. Yeah, And also
Speaker 1: about that point off of Becca. You know, Ashley, my wife,
Speaker 1: UM was not in a relationship. Her first boyfriend was
Speaker 1: when she was thirty. That was our first boyfriend. So
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes it comes later in life, um, even
Speaker 1: though thirty is still very young. UM, So hopefully don't
Speaker 1: you know, try not to be down in the dumps
Speaker 1: about it. I mean, relationships are incredible, you know, being
Speaker 1: able to share your love with someone is incredible. But
Speaker 1: loving yourself as you know, probably the most important thing
Speaker 1: you can do. UM. And uh yeah, um, you know,
Speaker 1: I wish you nothing but the best of luck of Lissa.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for calling in. But definitely, you know,
Speaker 1: keep your head up high. I guarantee it's not anything
Speaker 1: you're doing. It's just kind of the way life is.
Speaker 1: I know for a fact, it wasn't anything actually was doing.
Speaker 1: I know it was anything Becca was doing. It just
Speaker 1: wasn't time yet. Mm hmm. Yeah, Oh my gosh. That's
Speaker 1: so refreshing. Thank you so much, guys, Thank you Luck Alyssa,
Speaker 1: you're great. All right, Well, that's actually gonna do it.
Speaker 1: Our last call or unfortunately is ghosting us. Um, So
Speaker 1: hopefully Caleb can come back next week where he'll suck
Speaker 1: a little bit less if he shows up. Um. But
Speaker 1: I appreciate all the phone calls, Megan Alyssa, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for calling in. Please keep calling in, guys.
Speaker 1: We love it. It's our favorite part of the of
Speaker 1: the segment. We do what we love doing, these little
Speaker 1: Thursday podcasts. We love you guys listening. Thank you so much. Becca,
Speaker 1: once again, you're amazing. Thank you so much for joining
Speaker 1: us on the podcast. You're the best. Thanks for helping
Speaker 1: me suck. Like hey, anytime, give Phoebe a big kiss
Speaker 1: for me. She's right there. Well, she's right here. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: we'll make sure you're tune in next week. We're hopefully
Speaker 1: we all suck just a little less. Follow help by
Speaker 1: Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast