1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: All right, Dallas, it's back to your favorite segment, the 2 00:00:04,160 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter. Uh time now for the Strawberry Letter. So 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,879 Speaker 1: if you need advice Dallas on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, 4 00:00:11,880 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: and more, please hit us up at submit your Strawberry 5 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:19,520 Speaker 1: Letter to Steve Harvey FM. Okay, Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 6 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,360 Speaker 1: And all you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter. 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,200 Speaker 1: It's just that simple. We could be reading your letter 8 00:00:25,280 --> 00:00:27,520 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this 9 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:32,559 Speaker 1: one right now. That's for you. Buckle up, hold on tight, 10 00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: we got it for you here. It is the Strawberry 11 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:39,520 Speaker 1: Letter subject. My husband is really feeling himself. So Steve, 12 00:00:39,600 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 1: you let Tommy do it one day. You let Junior 13 00:00:41,479 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 1: do it one day? Are you doing it today? Oh? 14 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:49,880 Speaker 1: Let it first? Or should I let Jay do it? 15 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:58,840 Speaker 1: You know what? It might be a perfect letter for Jay? Jay? Yes, Jay, focus, 16 00:00:58,880 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna let you do the Strawberry Letter today. 17 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 1: I comment, if I see y'all going too far ignorant. 18 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,600 Speaker 1: I can do it, but I'm a hard time focusing. 19 00:01:07,680 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 1: Stud I really do man, I can do it, but 20 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 1: I don't know about that focusing. Bood. Okay, Well, let's 21 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:18,880 Speaker 1: go even wait till you hear the letter subject. Wait 22 00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:22,160 Speaker 1: a minute, now, my husband is really feeling himself. Dear 23 00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 1: Stephen Shirley. I am a twenty eight year old wife 24 00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: and mother. My husband is thirty two. We've been together 25 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: ten years and got married two years ago. I don't 26 00:01:31,480 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: have any major complaints about my marriage, but my husband's 27 00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: behavior is kind of strange lately. My husband and I 28 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 1: met in college, and we did what college couples do. 29 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 1: We had sex every day, or as much as we could. 30 00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,160 Speaker 1: Now that I'm older and we have more responsibilities, I'm 31 00:01:47,160 --> 00:01:50,080 Speaker 1: too tired to have sex every day or as often 32 00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:52,880 Speaker 1: as i'd like to. Many nights, I'd pass out as 33 00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,200 Speaker 1: soon as I get into bed because I've had a 34 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:58,760 Speaker 1: full day of work, cooking, cleaning, and taking care of 35 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,880 Speaker 1: our child. My husband, on the other hand, is always 36 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,320 Speaker 1: in the mood for sex. If he doesn't get his way, 37 00:02:04,520 --> 00:02:08,040 Speaker 1: he complains about me denying him the one thing that 38 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:11,800 Speaker 1: relaxes him. So he has started taking matters into his 39 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,800 Speaker 1: own hands. Literally, he will do it right next to 40 00:02:15,840 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: me in bed. I feel bad for that. Okay, okay, 41 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:26,880 Speaker 1: all right, that's what you think it is. So he 42 00:02:26,919 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: has started taking thinking so with one hand. So he 43 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:41,840 Speaker 1: has got all right, here we go, guys. So he 44 00:02:41,880 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 1: has started taking matters into his own hands. Literally, he 45 00:02:45,400 --> 00:02:48,200 Speaker 1: will do it right next to me in the bed. 46 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:50,519 Speaker 1: I felt bad for him, and I helped him out 47 00:02:50,520 --> 00:02:53,040 Speaker 1: the first few times, but now it's getting to be 48 00:02:53,160 --> 00:02:56,000 Speaker 1: a bit much. I've caught him in the shower doing it, 49 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: and I've caught him in our family room on the sofa. 50 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,200 Speaker 1: His new hobby makes me feel like I'm not doing 51 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:04,760 Speaker 1: my duty as his wife. I asked him why he 52 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,600 Speaker 1: does it so much, and he told me that it's 53 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: normal and it has nothing to do with me. For 54 00:03:09,639 --> 00:03:13,120 Speaker 1: the past two weeks, I've been coming onto him trying 55 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: to initiate sex, and he told me to go ahead 56 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: and get some rest. He's fine and we'll handle it himself. 57 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 1: I don't want to keep nagging him, but I'm missing 58 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:24,240 Speaker 1: the intimacy that we once had. At first, I thought 59 00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,920 Speaker 1: he was doing this to get back at me for 60 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: not being in the mood all of the time. But 61 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: I think I have a bigger problem here. So should 62 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: I just chill and let him do him? Or is 63 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:35,120 Speaker 1: this not normal and I need to have another talk 64 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 1: with him? Please? Advise, well, first, you definitely need to 65 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: have another talk with him, because he should be helping 66 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,280 Speaker 1: you with the chores around the house and with the kids. 67 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:48,480 Speaker 1: Then you wouldn't be so tired all the time. Okay, 68 00:03:48,520 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: and you can indulge him and indulge yourselves, you know, 69 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 1: in some nice, healthy marital sex. Okay. You guys are 70 00:03:57,120 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: still young, so I can understand you know the frequency 71 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,520 Speaker 1: with which you have sex in your marriage. I get 72 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 1: that you're twenty eight, he's thirty two. Older couples usually 73 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,320 Speaker 1: slow it down, you know, especially from the everyday escapades. 74 00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,800 Speaker 1: So again, him helping you around the house with the 75 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: housework and all that, that would relieve some of your 76 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: stress and you would have time to engage. And you know, 77 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: the things that he says relaxes him and you like 78 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,279 Speaker 1: it too, so it's it's a win win here. But 79 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,080 Speaker 1: this is an unusual scenario because he is still doing 80 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 1: it even though now you're coming on to him and 81 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,080 Speaker 1: you want you're you know, you're you're coming outside of 82 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:33,760 Speaker 1: your comfort zone and you want to do it with 83 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:37,400 Speaker 1: him more. Uh, he's still doing it, doesn't want to 84 00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,200 Speaker 1: do it with you, tells you, oh, go ahead, get 85 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:44,479 Speaker 1: some rest. I'm I'm good. I'm good. Yeah, that's that's 86 00:04:44,839 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: a little unusual that that. I don't think this is 87 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,760 Speaker 1: necessarily normal because you know, you're his wife. You're willing 88 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:55,960 Speaker 1: and able now, you know. I could see when it 89 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: first started him doing it by himself, you know, but 90 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: now that you're cool and like, Okay, I'll help you 91 00:05:01,880 --> 00:05:04,799 Speaker 1: out or let's do it together. I want that intimacy. 92 00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:07,360 Speaker 1: And now he's still saying no, Yeah, there's a problem 93 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: and this could lead to a bigger problem in your marriage. 94 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:13,320 Speaker 1: So definitely have a discussion with him. Definitely talk about this. 95 00:05:13,920 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 1: If he can tear himself away that is, um, you know, 96 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 1: it may be something deeper than that. Maybe this is 97 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: what he wanted all along. I don't know, but yeah, 98 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: you definitely need to have a talk. And if that 99 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 1: doesn't work, I would definitely suggest some counseling. Steve, who's 100 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: gonna turn it out? Yeah, well, I'm gonna turn this over, 101 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:37,240 Speaker 1: but I have a list. Um, I'm gonna turn it 102 00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 1: over to Jay. I'm ask Timmy to stay out of 103 00:05:41,120 --> 00:05:44,560 Speaker 1: this and Julia to stay out and just let Jay 104 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:49,160 Speaker 1: go ahead in his own way. And then once you're done, Jay, 105 00:05:49,240 --> 00:05:54,120 Speaker 1: I have a list that I want to go over. Okay, Well, 106 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:57,560 Speaker 1: listening to the letter about this man taking care of 107 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:01,080 Speaker 1: his own problem, I have been a to put my 108 00:06:01,320 --> 00:06:05,080 Speaker 1: finger on the problem. You understand, because thumbs up to 109 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:09,279 Speaker 1: this man, thumbs up to him, what he did, what 110 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: he was, He got a grip of the situation that 111 00:06:13,480 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: he was in. And he's not gonna be He's not 112 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 1: gonna be able to shake this. You know what I mean. 113 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:29,480 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. You know it's it's in 114 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: the palm of his hand that he sobbed. Hold it 115 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:38,680 Speaker 1: right there, Jay, hold it right there. We're gonna have 116 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,279 Speaker 1: part We're gonna have Yeah, we're gonna have part two 117 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:46,160 Speaker 1: of James. Jay's response and Steve's list coming up at 118 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,280 Speaker 1: twenty three after the hour Today's Strawberry letter. My husband 119 00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:52,480 Speaker 1: is really feeling himself. We'll be back right after this. 120 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:59,880 Speaker 1: You're listening to show all right, Uh, let's recap this 121 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:05,360 Speaker 1: Jrrowberry letters subject my husband is really feeling himself. Come on, Steve, 122 00:07:05,480 --> 00:07:07,680 Speaker 1: and then Jay is going to finish his response, and 123 00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:11,600 Speaker 1: you have a list when he's done. Twenty year old 124 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,400 Speaker 1: woman may to a thirty ye old man. They met 125 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,280 Speaker 1: in college. They used to have sex frequently. They've been 126 00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: married two years. She's exhausted when she comes home. She works, 127 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:23,119 Speaker 1: she does all the choe, she takes care of kids, 128 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: and when she hits the bed, she just passes out. 129 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: Her husband has taken matters into his own hands. Literally. 130 00:07:34,200 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 1: Now she's wondering now has that replaced their intimacy? So 131 00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 1: now she felt bad from him and helped him out 132 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: the first couple of times, but then after a while 133 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,680 Speaker 1: she caught him in the shower, on the sofa, in 134 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:52,480 Speaker 1: the kitchen, and just everywhere, and she wants now the 135 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,600 Speaker 1: intimacy back. But he says, now, you're gonna get yourself 136 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,800 Speaker 1: some rest. I got it. This is where we're at 137 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:04,880 Speaker 1: right now. Go ahead, jack Well, Steve, this is a 138 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 1: very risky super situation that this man is in this 139 00:08:09,680 --> 00:08:12,760 Speaker 1: and what he needs to do is knuckle down. If 140 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 1: he could knuckle down, If he can knuckle down, he 141 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 1: could him and her get along and they could be 142 00:08:22,920 --> 00:08:33,440 Speaker 1: Hilf five in each other if he could. But like 143 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:36,280 Speaker 1: I said before, the problem is in the palm of 144 00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:39,760 Speaker 1: his head, and he can solve this if he won't, Yeah, 145 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:48,760 Speaker 1: that's your answer, toss it out. I can't see if 146 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:55,480 Speaker 1: stay out. Come on, Come on what I have done, 147 00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 1: because there is no solution for this. You have ab 148 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:07,840 Speaker 1: but now you're saying that he says to you all 149 00:09:07,840 --> 00:09:12,920 Speaker 1: the time. I got this, and you have said he's 150 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 1: taken matters into his own hands and he will not stop. 151 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:22,480 Speaker 1: I mean he everywhere. So now I created a short 152 00:09:22,640 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: list of things that I don't want him to touch 153 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:38,360 Speaker 1: no more. Number one, don't touch the damn dishes. Ever, nasty, 154 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:43,880 Speaker 1: hands off of the dishes you got back. I got this. 155 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:51,880 Speaker 1: Next thing, keep your hands off the children. Please playing 156 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,640 Speaker 1: with the babies like you ain't been with you older 157 00:09:54,840 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: nast itself. Don't take them babies noses. Keep your hand 158 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,960 Speaker 1: off the refrigerator. Don't yes, I don't want you hand 159 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 1: on that damn refrigerator. Don't no more. Another thing, wear 160 00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 1: gloves when you're driving the car. Don't touch the stand wheel. 161 00:10:16,559 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 1: I bought you some driving gloves for Christmas, and I 162 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:23,520 Speaker 1: want you to wear when you drive it. Do not 163 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:30,079 Speaker 1: touch my Bible, do you understand? Please don't touch my bible. 164 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:35,840 Speaker 1: Keep your little nasty hands in your pocket. Keep your hand. 165 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,679 Speaker 1: I bet not come in out and catch you touching 166 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: my toothbrush. Don't touch brush Keep your damn hands off 167 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:47,320 Speaker 1: the toothpaste, because I want to make show it's toothpaste. 168 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:56,320 Speaker 1: Don't let me catch you pouring. No more pancakes syrup 169 00:10:56,480 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 1: on nothing, these other things I don't want you touching 170 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:09,120 Speaker 1: no more. Keep your hand off the remote now. I 171 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:13,280 Speaker 1: bought some kitchen gloves, the little plastic ones that they 172 00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:16,559 Speaker 1: wear a subway when they make a sandwich. I bought 173 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:18,560 Speaker 1: you something, and I got them all over the house. 174 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,800 Speaker 1: You get it in your car from what you put 175 00:11:22,800 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: it in. You don't put your hands in the damn 176 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: candy dish. Please keep your damn do that. Don't put 177 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:36,320 Speaker 1: your hand in the package with the rest of the cookies. 178 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: Hand you the cookie. You tell me how many cookies 179 00:11:40,480 --> 00:11:50,360 Speaker 1: you want with. What about the lunch meet up? But 180 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:54,880 Speaker 1: if you do get that first piece of bread, donna 181 00:11:54,920 --> 00:11:57,320 Speaker 1: go fumbling through that getting bread in the middle. If 182 00:11:57,360 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 1: you put your hand in the loaf of bread, that 183 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:05,920 Speaker 1: whole old loaf is yours. You don't write your name 184 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 1: on it. You touch nothing else. Mister, I've got it. 185 00:12:12,640 --> 00:12:16,760 Speaker 1: I'm taking magazine to my own hands. Don't you touch 186 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:22,720 Speaker 1: nothing else? Man and ah, y'all civil war from now 187 00:12:22,760 --> 00:12:34,360 Speaker 1: own is plastic disposable drawing. You understand me, Na oh Man, 188 00:12:37,679 --> 00:12:44,640 Speaker 1: well done, hands for you. I got it in my 189 00:12:44,679 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 1: own hands. Yes, you do, all right? Listen. You can 190 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,480 Speaker 1: post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey 191 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:56,559 Speaker 1: f M, on Instagram and Facebook. And don't forget to 192 00:12:56,640 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand now coming 193 00:12:59,559 --> 00:13:02,120 Speaker 1: up at four six after the hour. What is your 194 00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 1: must have Thanksgiving side dishes? We'll talk about it right 195 00:13:06,679 --> 00:13:10,880 Speaker 1: after this. You're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show.