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Speaker 1: Yes, you listen to the im Rapport Stereo podcast. First

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Speaker 1: of all, make sure you subscribe, make sure you rate

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Speaker 1: and leave a review. Leave a review wherever you're listening

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Speaker 1: to this podcast, and tell a friend to tell a

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Speaker 1: friend on today's brand new, banging, fully disruptive I am

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Speaker 1: rap Report Stereo podcast. He'd fallen, but he did get up.

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Speaker 1: He's fallen but he did get up. The fall heard

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Speaker 1: round the world. Smoking Joe Biden, cadaver Joe Biden, I

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Speaker 1: have a suggestion for you on how you will never

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Speaker 1: fall ever again in public. Plus, the NBA Finals are

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Speaker 1: tightening up, and a sick fuck, a wacky sick fuck

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Speaker 1: opens a plane door, an emergency plane door while the

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Speaker 1: plane was in mid air. What would I have done?

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Speaker 1: What would you have done? All that morning? Fantastic Iron

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Speaker 1: Rappaport Stereo podcast coming up right now. Miles Jordan aka

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Speaker 1: the Bleach brothers ak the Dust Brother. Start this puppy

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Speaker 1: off with something real nice, yes, start this puppy off

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Speaker 1: with something real out yes, But most importantly, start this

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Speaker 1: puppy off for something real. Fuck. It's the Iron Rapperport

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Speaker 1: Stereo Pocket the gdy Let's fucking go boom oh Yes,

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Speaker 1: Biggoty Boom, have no fear. The Iron Rapperport Stereo podcast

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Speaker 1: is here. Welcome to the Iron Dome of Disruption. Welcome

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Speaker 1: to the Ziggity Zone of Disruption. My name is Michael

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Speaker 1: Rappaport aka the glingle Man Dingo AK, the Inflamed Ashka Nazi,

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Speaker 1: aka the Raging Bullshitter aka the Disruptive Warrior aka the

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Speaker 1: White Chocola Tito a k A. Mister New York. I

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Speaker 1: hope everybody's feeling real good. Hope everybody's feeling real safe.

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Speaker 1: Hope everybody is feeling really really sane. I am Rapport

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Speaker 1: Stereo podcasts Intocasa in the place to beat. What what

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Speaker 1: what what what? What? Anyway, feeling really good, feeling really

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Speaker 1: really disruptive. Got a big next couple of weeks in

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Speaker 1: front of me, going to Rhode Island. This week I'll

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Speaker 1: be in a Rhode Island Thursday the eighth, ninth, and

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Speaker 1: tenth at the Comedy Connection in Providence, Rhode Island. Come

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Speaker 1: see me live in Rhode Island. And then Sunday, this Sunday,

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Speaker 1: the eleventh, I'll be in Chickapea, Massachusetts at the Loft

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Speaker 1: in Chickapea, Massachusetts. Then I'm coming back to the city.

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Speaker 1: Then boom, I'm actually coming to Los Angeles for a quick,

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Speaker 1: quick day or two. I'm gonna do an appearance on

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Speaker 1: Undisputed with Skip in Shannon on the fourteenth, which is

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Speaker 1: most likely gonna be my last appearance with Skip and Shannon.

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Speaker 1: Then I'm going to Denver the fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth.

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Speaker 1: Then i am back in New York City. But the

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Speaker 1: next two weeks I'm gonna be busy, moving, grooving, driving, flying.

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Speaker 1: See me live in Rhode Island, Chickapea, Massachusetts, and Denver.

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Speaker 1: All tickets, all information are available at Michael Rapaportcomedy dot com.

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Speaker 1: And then in July, I'll be in Brea, which is

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Speaker 1: thirty four miles outside of Los Angeles. So all u

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Speaker 1: La folks, you can come see me at the Brea

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Speaker 1: Improv the twenty eighth and twenty ninth of July. And

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Speaker 1: I told you I got a bunch of dates up

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Speaker 1: at Michael Rapaportcomedy dot com. Michael Rapaportcomedy dot com. So

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Speaker 1: as of the recording of this, I am Rapaport Stereo podcast,

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Speaker 1: The Miami Zombies, The Motherfucking Miami Heat ak the Miami Zombies.

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Speaker 1: These cocksuckers don't go away. I mean, you got you

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Speaker 1: gotta give these motherfucker's credit. They don't fucking go away.

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Speaker 1: These little fucking cockroaches from the three oh five. They

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Speaker 1: fucking tied up the fucking series with the Denver Nuggets.

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Speaker 1: And not that I expected the Denver Nuggets a steamroll

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Speaker 1: over them, but fuck, I mean they I mean they

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Speaker 1: play the right way there. This is gonna be a

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Speaker 1: long series. I still have Denver in six, but the

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Speaker 1: Miami Heat are just they just keep coming after you.

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Speaker 1: And uh, you got Dunkin Hero talking shit, Dunkin Hero,

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Speaker 1: I did Duncan Robinson Dunkin Hero. You got dunk Chris.

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Speaker 1: That was funny because this guy's popping ship like he's uh,

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Speaker 1: Scottie Pippen before he went cuckoo cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

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Speaker 1: But it's the NBA, it's the NBA Finals. In the

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Speaker 1: Miami Heat, they didn't just get there by being cute.

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Speaker 1: They didn't get there because of their good looks. God knows,

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Speaker 1: that's a I mean an ugly bunch of motherfuckers on

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Speaker 1: that team, from Duncan Hero to Tyler Robinson to you know,

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Speaker 1: pat Riley who this guy was handsome in his prime.

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Speaker 1: But they're just all bloodthirsty zombies. And listen, if it

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Speaker 1: goes seven, it goes seven. I just can't live with

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Speaker 1: that team in the Miami Heat winning a championship. That

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Speaker 1: will really, really really bother me. Anyway. So on the

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Speaker 1: last I Am Rappaport Stereo podcast, I said that I

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Speaker 1: was going to talk about smoking Joe Biden tripping the

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Speaker 1: other day, busting his ass, real nice and real proper.

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Speaker 1: As the cadets graduated, he tripped over a sandbag, and

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Speaker 1: we're lucky this fucking guy didn't, you know, bang his

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Speaker 1: head and dropped dead right there on the spot, because

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Speaker 1: that could have happened. How they let cadaver Joe meander

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Speaker 1: around on that stage with a sandbag plopped within ten

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Speaker 1: fifteen feet of them, I don't know, because let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something about sandbags. When you're on film and television,

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Speaker 1: sense there's sandbags all over the place. Now, I'm not

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Speaker 1: saying that I've ever kicked a sandbag and actually fell,

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Speaker 1: but many times have I kicked a sandbag or caught

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Speaker 1: my foot on a sandbag and tripped and stumbled and

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Speaker 1: quite possibly could have falled if I was ninety seven

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Speaker 1: years old, like cadaverg Joe, because Joe's he's old. Joe's

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Speaker 1: all fucked up. I've said it once, I've said it

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Speaker 1: a million times. Joe is dinged up. Joe is hanging

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Speaker 1: on for dear life. They got him pumped up all day,

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Speaker 1: all night on who knows what but the crew. You

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Speaker 1: have to blame it on the crew. You can't necessarily

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Speaker 1: blame it on smoking Joe. You got to blame it

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Speaker 1: on his crew. And the second in command is Kamala.

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Speaker 1: Of course, there's doctor Joe Biden. I've said this. I've

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Speaker 1: said this a bunch of times. The Secret Service. I'm

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Speaker 1: sure there's like a walking team, you know, that clears

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Speaker 1: paths for him, and you just can't put him in

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Speaker 1: a situation that you would put a normal person in.

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Speaker 1: And when I say normal, I mean anybody who's listen.

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Speaker 1: My father's gonna be ninety. Disco Dave Rappaport is going

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Speaker 1: to be ninety this month, okay, But he uses a

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Speaker 1: walker when he has somewhere that is longer than he

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Speaker 1: feels comfortable. He breaks that fucking walker out and let

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Speaker 1: me tell you something. He's got that motherfucker moving. When

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Speaker 1: Disco Dave hits the streets and he's got a place

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Speaker 1: to go and people to see, he fires up that

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Speaker 1: fucking walker. He gets that puppy greased up, oiled up,

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Speaker 1: real nice, and he knock on wood. He hasn't taken

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Speaker 1: a spill. Is it a bad look for the president

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Speaker 1: to be using a walker? I don't know who am

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Speaker 1: I to say. We're in unprecedented times and there are

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Speaker 1: unprecedented things taking place. Why not just get this guy

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Speaker 1: a nice, fucking high tech walker. My father's got one

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Speaker 1: from the pharmacy. But he tightens up the screws, make

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Speaker 1: sure everything is tight and right, and like I said,

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Speaker 1: he greases up the wheels, and when he hits the streets,

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Speaker 1: he's out there moving the fuck around on that walker.

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Speaker 1: Cadaver Joe, Maybe it's time to get this guy on

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Speaker 1: a walker. I wouldn't have a problem with it. We

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Speaker 1: already know that he's already dinged the fuck up. We

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Speaker 1: know that the last president of the United States, big dick,

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Speaker 1: Donald Trump. We know that he was walking around and depends.

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Speaker 1: So why would it be so bad if the current

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Speaker 1: president is using a walk. I have no problem with it.

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Speaker 1: Better safe than sorry. And Miles Davis, Jordan Winter of

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Speaker 1: the Dust Brothers, the Bleach Brothers, respectfully. They said, Mike Repp,

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Speaker 1: you forgot to talk about him falling on the last episode,

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Speaker 1: but don't worry, he's probably gonna fall again next week.

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Speaker 1: And that's true. Listen, the more we get comfortable with

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Speaker 1: cadaver Joe smoking, Joe Biden falling and we normalize it,

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Speaker 1: the better, Okay, Because I mean the fact that we

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Speaker 1: got smoking Joe, we got looming Dick Stain, Donald Trump,

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Speaker 1: and now Mike Pence has thrown his name into the hat.

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Speaker 1: He's running for president. Duke. They tried to hang you.

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Speaker 1: Did you not forget what they were saying on January sixth.

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Speaker 1: They were saying, hang Mike Pence, Hang Mike Pence. The

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Speaker 1: crew of fucking just outcast and phony, fake teeth wearing

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Speaker 1: motherfuckers that we have between Dick Stain, Donald Trump, Smoking

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Speaker 1: Joe Biden, Mike Pence, and Rob de San cremonious. The

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Speaker 1: fact that this is the Big four, it is just

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Speaker 1: that's our choices. These are the choices that we have.

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Speaker 1: These are the people that we have to pick from.

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Speaker 1: Ronda Sacremonious. He's running against the woke mob. Like every day,

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Speaker 1: all he talks about is woke, this woke, that everything

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Speaker 1: is woke. What no one even knows what the fuck

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Speaker 1: woke is. This is like his agenda. You know, some

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Speaker 1: people run on an agenda of you know, less inflation.

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Speaker 1: You know America first, you know, building a strong military.

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Speaker 1: Uh roond Sacremonious is running on a let's defeat the

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Speaker 1: woke mob, the woke agenda. That's this is what we got.

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Speaker 1: This is what we got. But old man Biden, crazy Joe,

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Speaker 1: sleepy Joe, don't worry. He's gonna fall. He's gonna bust

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Speaker 1: his fucking ass many more times. That ain't the first,

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Speaker 1: it ain't the last. Fortunately didn't bang his fucking head.

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Speaker 1: He didn't, you know, crack a rib, bust an elbow,

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Speaker 1: break a fucking ankle. But I'm saying, get yourself a walker.

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Speaker 1: He could get a nice walker. I'm sure that he

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Speaker 1: could get himself some high tech hydroponic you know, it'll

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Speaker 1: make him stand up taller, It'll make him move faster, swifter.

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Speaker 1: You're old. Older people use walkers. I'm sure knock on

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Speaker 1: wood at some point, I'm gonna be using a walker,

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Speaker 1: screaming and yelling at motherfuckers. I mean, would you guys

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Speaker 1: judge him? The last president was rocking depends men's diapers,

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Speaker 1: adult diapers. The current president should use a walker. I

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Speaker 1: have no problem with it. You hear the sirens because

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Speaker 1: I am in New York City. Jesus Christ, it's one

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Speaker 1: of my least favorite things. I know that they are

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Speaker 1: dealing with serious issues, but those fucking sirens. Man's talking

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Speaker 1: to the Dust Brothers Miles and Jordan ak the Bleach

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Speaker 1: Brothers aka the Dust Brothers, respectfully. Uh. The other day,

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Speaker 1: and we were coming to the realization that after the

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Speaker 1: NBA ends in the next two weeks, I don't know

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Speaker 1: when game three is. Game three is like can it's

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Speaker 1: like Sunday. The fucking games are so spread out. I mean,

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Speaker 1: we could do two days off. I think there's like

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Speaker 1: three day break before the next game. I know it's

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Speaker 1: the finals. You want the players to be rested, and

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Speaker 1: I'm all for that, but Jesus Christ, can we get

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Speaker 1: a little momentum these NHL guys. These guys play like

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Speaker 1: the Stanley Cup. They play it over like a weekend.

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Speaker 1: They play like the best out of seven over the weekend.

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Speaker 1: Short has to do with the ratings and all that stuff. Nonetheless,

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Speaker 1: right around the corner, right around the corner after NBA season,

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Speaker 1: little low and then boom we go into the NBA

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Speaker 1: trading and then more importantly, we go into fantasy football preparation,

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Speaker 1: mock draft preparation. We start focusing in on guys like

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Speaker 1: Justin Jefferson, Cooper Fucking Cup, Jamar Chase, the good Christian.

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Speaker 1: What's Travis gonna do? What's Tyreek the freak gonna do?

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Speaker 1: What's Jonathan Taylor gonna do? What's Aaron Rodgers gonna do?

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Speaker 1: What's he really gonna do in New York? What's Big

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Speaker 1: Josh gonna do? Jalen Hurts, they paid you a billion dollars,

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Speaker 1: My homeboy, Deshan, get your freak on Watson, the sickest

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Speaker 1: fuck in the NFL, Trevor with the good hair, Kirk Cousins,

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Speaker 1: you got the number one dude? Are you ever ever

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Speaker 1: going to be that guy? The rookies say, Kwan put

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Speaker 1: your weight on Derrick Henry. Remember there was like a

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Speaker 1: day where they said that Derrick Henry was playing for

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Speaker 1: the Philadelphia Eagles, Like that was like online, Dalvin Cook,

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Speaker 1: the whole fucking group. So don't think that after the NBA,

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Speaker 1: like there's no sports. I know a lot of you

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Speaker 1: guys are baseball fans. Got the Red Sox. Somebody who's

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Speaker 1: talking to me the other night about the Red Sox

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Speaker 1: and the Yankees playing, I need to start start watching

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Speaker 1: those games. Curse those fucks, like I said, I've said

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Speaker 1: it once, that rivalry. I gotta start watching those games

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Speaker 1: because I hate, like it's weird. I hate the Red

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Speaker 1: Sox more than I hate any other team, and I

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Speaker 1: can't name one current Red Sox. I need to learn them.

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Speaker 1: I need to learn the Red Sox and learn to

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Speaker 1: hate the current crop of Boston Red Sox who apparently

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Speaker 1: I'm no expert, but apparently they suck this year, which

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Speaker 1: is great, which is great for me. That's fantastic for me.

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Speaker 1: But I know that the Red Sox are about to

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Speaker 1: play the Yankee I think next week or the week

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Speaker 1: after that, and hopefully they beat the dog shit out

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Speaker 1: of them every single game. Real nice, oh yeah, and

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Speaker 1: really proper. Like another thing that a lot of people

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Speaker 1: have been sending me a week ago, about a week ago,

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Speaker 1: on a flight from somewhere to somewhere South Korea to

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Taiwan. Something like this seems so far away.

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Speaker 1: Some fuck, some sick fuck who was sitting by the

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Speaker 1: passenger emergency exit. Not the front of the plane where

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Speaker 1: I had to take a motherfucker down where air Marshall

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Speaker 1: Mike had to do the damn thing. No, not the

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Speaker 1: front of the plane. At the passenger emergency exit. A

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Speaker 1: passenger allegedly said he felt he or she I don't

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Speaker 1: even know if it was a guy or a girl,

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Speaker 1: who knows who cares. Let's just call him a sick funk.

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Speaker 1: A sick fuck felt claustrophobic. And the sick fuck while

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Speaker 1: the plane is in the air, while the plane was

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Speaker 1: in mid air, the sick fuck opened the emergency exit

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Speaker 1: door and the fucking plane had to make an emergency landing. Duh,

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Speaker 1: because the door was flailing open while people were scared

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Speaker 1: shitless and people were you know, how fucking frightening and

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Speaker 1: loud and how windy and disconcerting. Big word for me

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Speaker 1: that must have been. And I wondered, did the sick

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Speaker 1: fuck who open the door? Did he fly out the door?

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Speaker 1: Allegedly not, But there's videotape of this, and it is

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Speaker 1: crazy looking. The door is open. I mean, there's shit

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Speaker 1: flying all over the place. People some people are just

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Speaker 1: sitting there like calm. They're probably scared to death. They're

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Speaker 1: probably like, we're gonna fucking die. I would have thought

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Speaker 1: I was going to fucking die, like I said, the

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Speaker 1: sound of a door open while you're I don't know

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Speaker 1: how many miles are you in the air three thousand,

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Speaker 1: two thousand, five thousand, Who the fuck knows ten thousand,

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't fact check, and I ain't

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Speaker 1: no pilot. But I did save a plane, and one

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Speaker 1: of the big things when I saved the plane that

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Speaker 1: was coming back from I believe it was Houston or

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Speaker 1: Dallas going to Los Angeles. It's documented the passenger was

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Speaker 1: trying to open the door and I grabbed the fuck

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Speaker 1: and I said, what are you doing? And then the

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Speaker 1: motherfucker tried to open the door again, and I said,

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Speaker 1: what the fuck are you doing? Heroic shit from me,

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Speaker 1: the gringo Man Dingo aka air Marshall Mike, who still

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Speaker 1: doesn't get the credit that I deserve when I go

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Speaker 1: through an airport. Where were the other passengers when this claustrophobic,

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Speaker 1: sick fuck either man or a woman I don't know,

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Speaker 1: was pulling at the door to open it. Why did

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Speaker 1: he not get taken down, put in a fucking like

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Speaker 1: a headlock or an ankle lock, and get kicked, stuffed

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Speaker 1: into the bathroom, duct taped into the bathroom. Where were

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Speaker 1: the fast acting heroes on that plane? Because I know

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Speaker 1: where the fast acting heroes were. When it happened to me,

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Speaker 1: I jumped the fuck up, and like I said many

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Speaker 1: many many times, no, I ain't no tough guy. I

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Speaker 1: don't claim to be a tough guy. I don't aspire

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Speaker 1: to be a tough guy. I did what anybody else

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Speaker 1: would do in that situation. But allegedly, not everybody has

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Speaker 1: that heroic gene. That me, the gringo man Dingo, me,

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Speaker 1: the disruptive warrior, me Air Marshall, Mike have. But look

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Speaker 1: up the video. It is crazy looking. But when I

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Speaker 1: saved that plane, a lot of people like, you're not

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Speaker 1: a hero. Those doors don't open. A bunch of people said,

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Speaker 1: you're not a hero. Those doors don't open. What the

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Speaker 1: fuck do you think they do, asshole? They're doors, whether

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Speaker 1: they are emergency exit doors or not doors. Open, dumb dumb.

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Speaker 1: Heroes do what heroes do. Doors open, dumb dumb and

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Speaker 1: the rest of you are just in awe. Listen. I

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Speaker 1: don't want anything I said when I became a hero.

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Speaker 1: I wasn't gonna be a humble hero. I was gonna

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Speaker 1: be a shit talking, braggadocious hero. All I want is

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Speaker 1: when I'm at the airport, like a little fucking head

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Speaker 1: nod from TSA like. I don't want a hand job.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to get felt up. I don't want

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Speaker 1: you going through my bag checking me. I want like,

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Speaker 1: we know who you are, Air Marshall, Mike, You're good.

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Speaker 1: That's all I've ever asked for and all I have

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Speaker 1: ever wanted, but for you dumb dumbs who think, oh,

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Speaker 1: those emergency doors don't open. They open. And if you

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Speaker 1: ever see anybody touching it, breathing on it, looking at

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Speaker 1: it toward, take them down. Take them the fuck down.

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Speaker 1: Tackle Jack Lambert, ray Lewis, Lawrence Taylor style ti chi

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Speaker 1: elbow leg sweep, do whatever the fuck you need to do,

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Speaker 1: because that could have been way worse on that plane.

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Speaker 1: I'm done, ever, try to discredit me for my heroic

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Speaker 1: actions talking about the doors, don't open. What the fuck

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Speaker 1: are you talking? How would you know? Anyway? I'm done?

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Speaker 1: Did it again? Came Saw disrupted? Did it again? Came

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Speaker 1: saw and disrupted. Miles Jordan Ak The Bligny Bleach Brothers

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Speaker 1: aka The Dignity Dust Brothers. Let's go. I want you

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Speaker 1: to take me out of it with something real nice.

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Speaker 1: I want you to take me at it with something

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Speaker 1: real loud, and I want you to take me at

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Speaker 1: it with something real proper like It's see im Rappaport

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Speaker 1: stereo podcast museum quality podcasting. Tell a friend to Tell

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Speaker 1: a friend me out