1 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:07,680 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff 2 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: we never told you, a production of iHeart Radio. And 3 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:25,520 Speaker 1: welcome to our last fiction of twenty twenty three. Yes, 4 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: our reminder, this is a once a month thing that 5 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: we do. This is a continuing story. We're actually in 6 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:37,519 Speaker 1: the second part of a trilogy. So go listen to 7 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,800 Speaker 1: those others if you haven't, because yes, this is the 8 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:43,400 Speaker 1: sequel to Terminus. I'm just calling it Terminus Part two. 9 00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: But the original name was Big Things Start Small, Just 10 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:50,199 Speaker 1: so you know, I thought it would be confusing, so 11 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: I just I love it. Yes, this was a Nano 12 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:59,480 Speaker 1: Raimo story. All of these were, so there is minimal editing. 13 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:03,840 Speaker 1: Uh and I kind of like examining where my mind 14 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,600 Speaker 1: was then because I wrote these this was in twenty eleven, 15 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,280 Speaker 1: I would have been writing this one. And also, just like, 16 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:14,360 Speaker 1: shout out to Christina. She does all of the sound effects. 17 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: These are heavier lifts for her. So just always want 18 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: to call that out magic maker. Absolutely every time I 19 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,920 Speaker 1: listen to them, I'm like, who listen to that wind? 20 00:01:24,520 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: Yes she should keep this job, keep the job. I'm 21 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 1: trying to make that okay, never mind, I ruined it. 22 00:01:31,200 --> 00:01:39,399 Speaker 1: Keep going we love. Please don't I get there. We 23 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 1: are working on getting all of these together in the 24 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: playlist so they're more easily found, So keep an ear 25 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:48,520 Speaker 1: out eye out for that. This is a bit of 26 00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:52,960 Speaker 1: what I would call a slower, more introspective chapter. That 27 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:57,720 Speaker 1: being said, when I read it, it's intense, like emotionally, 28 00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:05,720 Speaker 1: so that being said. Content warning for discussion of hunger, disease, needles, 29 00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: and vaccine stuff. There's a dissociation scene that I forgot about. 30 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 1: There's discussion of sexual assaults that isn't explicit but is 31 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:22,880 Speaker 1: kind of emotional mentions of weight loss, internalized ableism. Yeah, 32 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: it's kind of a like confronting the emotions of what 33 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:34,560 Speaker 1: happens scene that happens in here. Okay, yep, so pcap. 34 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 1: This is an earth, a world where there's a disease 35 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,480 Speaker 1: that makes it very difficult for people to get pregnant. 36 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: Humanity is dying off, and it's not good. It's not pretty. 37 00:02:48,440 --> 00:02:52,400 Speaker 1: It's all of your dystopian end of the world things. 38 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:56,280 Speaker 1: And there is in the United States what was the 39 00:02:56,360 --> 00:02:59,920 Speaker 1: United States? There is the government called the State, but 40 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 1: they work closely alongside a religious organization called arm and 41 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: our main characters Tilda and her son Madison, have been 42 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,040 Speaker 1: on the run from them because she illegally had a 43 00:03:14,120 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: child in this world where they very much monitor how 44 00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 1: you have children, and they were finally captured. At the 45 00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:23,760 Speaker 1: end of the first one, it's revealed that the leaders 46 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: of ARM are the grandparents of Madison, and that they 47 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,799 Speaker 1: destroyed all the vaccines and pretty much caused the virus 48 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:38,640 Speaker 1: for population control, and uh they give the vaccines to Madisine. 49 00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:41,880 Speaker 1: Tilda is able to escape with him after broadcasting out 50 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:45,480 Speaker 1: on their kind of what remains of the national broadcast 51 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:47,760 Speaker 1: system that they had a vaccine. They destroyed it, but 52 00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:52,280 Speaker 1: there is a vaccine. They escape, and now as the 53 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,080 Speaker 1: second one opens, it's dire circumstances is winter. They have 54 00:03:56,200 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: no food, the clothes are bere like, it's not looking good, 55 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 1: and there's a fellow, a horse that's following them and 56 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:09,000 Speaker 1: they can't figure it out all yes, yes, it's the 57 00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:15,680 Speaker 1: fell horse. But that's where we are. They have found 58 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: an abandoned cabin in this forest and they stay there 59 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:24,040 Speaker 1: the night. They're trying to warm up and figure out 60 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,760 Speaker 1: what they're gonna do next. So that's where we are. 61 00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: Let us get in to chapter two when Tilda next awoke. 62 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 1: Cool blue light once again filtered through the window. She 63 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,599 Speaker 1: could hear the sounds of slush sliding off branches. She 64 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 1: blinked her grainy eyelids, looking down to Madison, who had 65 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:00,719 Speaker 1: at some point in the night cuddled in under the 66 00:05:00,720 --> 00:05:05,480 Speaker 1: blanket hidden from view. She peeled the handmade coverlet back carefully. 67 00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:09,000 Speaker 1: Madison flinched at the exposure to cold air, turning his 68 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:12,160 Speaker 1: face instinctively into the cushion with a quiet mewing sound. 69 00:05:12,839 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 1: His face was still garishly pale, but some of the 70 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:18,320 Speaker 1: color had returned to his lips. She moved the sides 71 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,320 Speaker 1: of his hair long now that she'd had a little 72 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,760 Speaker 1: chance to cut it since DC, to check his ears. 73 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: A sigh of relief escaped her lips when they weren't black. 74 00:05:26,800 --> 00:05:30,599 Speaker 1: Madison turned back towards her, blinking owlishly, his hair sticking 75 00:05:30,600 --> 00:05:34,919 Speaker 1: out in all directions and clearly disoriented. How are you feeling, 76 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: she asked. He rubbed at his eyes better warmer. Tilda 77 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,720 Speaker 1: took a moment to assess her own body and how 78 00:05:44,720 --> 00:05:48,560 Speaker 1: it was handling the rewarming process. She flexed her fingers 79 00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 1: and wriggled her toes. The rush of blood of making 80 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:55,000 Speaker 1: them tingle. She stretched her neck, her arms, her calves, 81 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: all of which felt slow and sore. Her ears and 82 00:05:58,600 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 1: nose were still cold to the touch. An inspection of 83 00:06:02,160 --> 00:06:05,720 Speaker 1: madisons revealed that his were as well. Her throat burned 84 00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: and her back ached. Her lungs felt icy, but overall 85 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:15,480 Speaker 1: she felt much improved. With deliberation, she extracted herself from 86 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: the warmth of the blanket, every sore muscle making itself 87 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: known as she scooted toward the edge of the couch 88 00:06:20,839 --> 00:06:23,839 Speaker 1: and swung her legs off the side, her toes twitching 89 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 1: at the contact with the cold wooden floor that she 90 00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:30,880 Speaker 1: could feel even through her warm padded socks. Feeling old, 91 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:33,719 Speaker 1: she took a deep breath, preparing to stand as one 92 00:06:33,760 --> 00:06:38,240 Speaker 1: preparing to perform a very complicated stunt. She hoisted herself up, 93 00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: almost losing her balance and falling back onto the couch. 94 00:06:41,760 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: She straightened slowly, her lower back throbbing in protest. She 95 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:49,560 Speaker 1: took a deep breath and then a step forward, careful 96 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: of all of the clothes they shed last night, the 97 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:57,640 Speaker 1: fabric stiff, dried in odd shapes. A precursory glance around 98 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: the room in the light informed a very different space 99 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,680 Speaker 1: than what it had been at night. Above the fireplace 100 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,799 Speaker 1: was a TV wide and flat tables with pictures and books. 101 00:07:08,040 --> 00:07:11,160 Speaker 1: Portraits of snow capped mountains and woods on the walls 102 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 1: in stark contrast to the paneling outside. The wood within 103 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:19,960 Speaker 1: was warm and brown as one stepping on broken glass. 104 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: Tilda continued her tottering exploration of the cabin her gaze 105 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:27,520 Speaker 1: meandering from item to item, taking stock of anything with 106 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:31,240 Speaker 1: potential further use. Fuzzy images forming of the types of 107 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 1: people who at once stayed here. Tilda shuffled first into 108 00:07:35,640 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: the kitchen, hoping to find some canned foods. Out of curiosity. 109 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 1: She opened the refrigerator, unsurprised to find no food. Grateful 110 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,600 Speaker 1: for nothing spoiled at the very least, she then started 111 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:51,440 Speaker 1: the painful process of alternately bending and reaching to investigate 112 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 1: the innerds of the cabinets. Apart from a package of 113 00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,679 Speaker 1: uncooked angel paired pasta, a package of mac and cheese, 114 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 1: and a box of muffin mix, she found on pots 115 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: and pants. Frustrated despite anticipating this till the contemplated ways 116 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,440 Speaker 1: they could cook the pasta. As she left the kitchen 117 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 1: and turned down the hallway her muscles, finally warming up 118 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: a bit as she moved the hallway closet revealed a 119 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,280 Speaker 1: plethora of pillows and blankets. She tossed a comfy looking 120 00:08:18,280 --> 00:08:21,680 Speaker 1: blue and white comforter to Madison, who surveyed her progress 121 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: sleepily from the couch. Next to the closet was a 122 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 1: bathroom whites and purples and very clean, empty, save for 123 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 1: an extra pack of toilet paper and towels in all 124 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: sizes that matched the round mat on the floor. The 125 00:08:35,800 --> 00:08:37,680 Speaker 1: two doors opposite each other at the end of the 126 00:08:37,679 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: hallway were two small bedrooms, one with a forest green palette, 127 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 1: the other orange and burgundy. A quick search of the 128 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 1: dressers and nightstands in each room produced only a bible. 129 00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:51,400 Speaker 1: She followed the hallway back to the front door and 130 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:54,400 Speaker 1: turned to go up steps, leaning heavily on the railing 131 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,160 Speaker 1: as she climbed to the second floor, spots dancing in 132 00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:01,240 Speaker 1: her vision. Upstairs were three bunk beds with scratchy looking 133 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:05,599 Speaker 1: blankets and nothing else. Out of breath, Tilda paused for 134 00:09:05,679 --> 00:09:08,480 Speaker 1: a moment, surveying the living room where they'd spent their night. 135 00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:12,200 Speaker 1: Madison had pulled his knees to his chest practically swallowed 136 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,240 Speaker 1: by the comforter Tilta had tossed to him. He watched 137 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:19,800 Speaker 1: her silently, a forlorn creature in his nest. The second 138 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,199 Speaker 1: story was open, there was no wall or railing along 139 00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,640 Speaker 1: the side. She longed to take a break from her 140 00:09:25,679 --> 00:09:27,920 Speaker 1: search and sit and hang her legs off of it, 141 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 1: but the difficulty posed by getting back up stopped her that, 142 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,920 Speaker 1: and she imagined Madison was hungry. If her own stomach 143 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 1: was any indication, what she'd give for something warm to eat, 144 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: she thought, as she unceremoniously made her way back down 145 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,640 Speaker 1: the stairs, her knees wobbling. She once again tried to 146 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:50,480 Speaker 1: come up with some way to boil water for the noodles, 147 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,720 Speaker 1: but thanks to the man on horseback, she didn't consider 148 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,840 Speaker 1: starting a fire an option, and unless she could figure 149 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,920 Speaker 1: a way to flip the power back on, and she 150 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,280 Speaker 1: highly doubted she could, and the stove an oven were 151 00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: out of the picture as well. At the foot of 152 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:06,720 Speaker 1: the stairs, she took a deep breath, shutting her eyes 153 00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:09,640 Speaker 1: and judging up the will to return to the living area, 154 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,720 Speaker 1: she collapsed into the love seat and sat back for 155 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:17,560 Speaker 1: a moment, dizzy and weak, biting back a grown of frustration, 156 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:21,480 Speaker 1: in her body for being so easily winded. She leaned 157 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:23,920 Speaker 1: forward and sloid the backpack to rest at her feet, 158 00:10:24,320 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 1: yanking open in the middle pocket, Can we make a fire? 159 00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:33,880 Speaker 1: Madison posed, tentatively, already suspecting the answer. Tilda shook her 160 00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 1: head and his face fell too dangerous. The man we 161 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:42,320 Speaker 1: saw on the horse yesterday might see the smoke. Madison 162 00:10:42,320 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: accepted her response with a solemn nod. You want something 163 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:52,120 Speaker 1: to eat, I've got protein bars, granola, trail mix, trail mix, 164 00:10:52,679 --> 00:10:56,320 Speaker 1: Madison responded, after several long seconds of silence. Folding out 165 00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: a small hand, Tilda fished out a bag of trail 166 00:10:59,240 --> 00:11:02,199 Speaker 1: mix and passed him, grabbing a protein bar for herself. 167 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 1: Though they left much to be desired and taste, they 168 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 1: at least weren't as rock hard as the granola bars, 169 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 1: and the protein and carbs gave her an energy boost too. 170 00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:13,560 Speaker 1: She also pulled out two more waters to go along 171 00:11:13,559 --> 00:11:18,280 Speaker 1: with their breakfast. They munched slowly in silence, well aware 172 00:11:18,320 --> 00:11:20,880 Speaker 1: of the importance of eating slowly to abate the hunger, 173 00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:23,199 Speaker 1: to give the illusion of eating more, and to give 174 00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:26,000 Speaker 1: their stomachs time to fill up. Such as it was. 175 00:11:27,920 --> 00:11:32,040 Speaker 1: I miss pancakes. Madison ventured, quietly, staring at the bag 176 00:11:32,080 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 1: of trail mixes, though he could replace it with pancakes 177 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:39,360 Speaker 1: if he only concentrated hard enough. Did you eat those 178 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: a lot growing up? Tilda chewed, remembering a life that 179 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:49,160 Speaker 1: felt surreal now, No, not really. Madison was quiet for 180 00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,280 Speaker 1: a second, taking a tiny bite out of a raisin. 181 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,560 Speaker 1: I wonder how Lynn is doing. They were broaching the 182 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 1: subject Tilda had been unwilling to broach last night, though 183 00:11:58,800 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 1: Madison was taking the long way there. Madison would only 184 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,360 Speaker 1: meet her gaze momentarily, his eyes darting away the second 185 00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: they met hers, staring at the packet of trail mix 186 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,720 Speaker 1: watching her through his eyelashes. She wondered if he felt 187 00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:18,920 Speaker 1: guilty bringing line up reading. I bet she's reading. What 188 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:24,600 Speaker 1: do you think? Madison bit his lip, cooking That drew 189 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,400 Speaker 1: an involuntary snort out of Tilda that made her almost 190 00:12:27,440 --> 00:12:33,360 Speaker 1: immediately feel guilty. You're probably right, she conceded. You don't 191 00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 1: think she got in trouble with the enforcers, do you. 192 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: Tilda took another bite out of her protein bar, willing 193 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:42,880 Speaker 1: herself to relax into the back of the chair. I'm 194 00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: sure Lne is fine. She's a smart lady to avoid 195 00:12:46,559 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 1: them for all these years. Madison looked down, but she 196 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:55,599 Speaker 1: helped us. Tilda finished her bar, regarding the packaging desolately 197 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:58,320 Speaker 1: before crumpling it up in her fist and wiping the 198 00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:02,160 Speaker 1: crumbs from the front of her shirt. I know, she 199 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,440 Speaker 1: agreed quietly, but she knows how to hide things. She 200 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 1: was pregnant herself and the state didn't know it. Madison 201 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:13,440 Speaker 1: nodded reluctantly, sipping at his water. Tilda glanced out the window. 202 00:13:14,320 --> 00:13:16,840 Speaker 1: Snow still covered the ground, but the sun was out 203 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,640 Speaker 1: for the first time in days. Water dripped from the 204 00:13:19,679 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 1: trees as the ice melted, so that needle. Tilda swiveled 205 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:29,960 Speaker 1: her neck back to Madison. At the preface of a question. 206 00:13:30,600 --> 00:13:34,200 Speaker 1: To so many questions, the one they stuck me with 207 00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:40,679 Speaker 1: it was a vexine. Yes, it means you can't get 208 00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,360 Speaker 1: the disease to that I have, that most people have. 209 00:13:44,840 --> 00:13:52,080 Speaker 1: I can't, No, I think, she added mentally, you're immune, 210 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:55,520 Speaker 1: you won't get it. Madison processed this for a moment, 211 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 1: chewing on his lip, and there was only one more 212 00:14:00,559 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: yes for everybody. Yes, but if the right people find it, 213 00:14:05,600 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 1: then they can study it and make more like the 214 00:14:09,640 --> 00:14:12,559 Speaker 1: guy that the guy that told us about the train, 215 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:16,040 Speaker 1: the guy that I killed. Till the filled in for 216 00:14:16,160 --> 00:14:23,160 Speaker 1: him silently, Yes, like him. What if no one can 217 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,720 Speaker 1: figure it out? What if I'm the only one who 218 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: will be immune? Madison's words ran together in a barely 219 00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 1: contained panic. Leaning forward, Tilda said, in the firmest voice 220 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:40,520 Speaker 1: she could muster, you won't be But how do you know? 221 00:14:41,560 --> 00:14:45,640 Speaker 1: His eyes were filled with tears. If they did it before, 222 00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:48,640 Speaker 1: they could do it again, and now everyone knows that 223 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: it has been done and can be done. It's amazing 224 00:14:52,680 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 1: what a little hope can do. Green eyes looked away 225 00:14:55,920 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: from her, desperate to believe her. Does everyone know? He whispered, 226 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:10,480 Speaker 1: Does everyone know I'm immune? Frowning, Tilda answered truthfully she 227 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 1: didn't know. But those people, the ones who said I 228 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:18,440 Speaker 1: was their grandson. He fumbled over the word, having little 229 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: occasion to use it, He probably told everyone. Does that 230 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:27,520 Speaker 1: scare you? The look Madison gave her told her emphatically 231 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: that yes, of course it did. What if they can't 232 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: figure out how to make another vaccine and they come 233 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:38,640 Speaker 1: after me so they could study me. Tilda had considered 234 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 1: the possibility, but was surprised that Madison had, though she 235 00:15:41,760 --> 00:15:46,520 Speaker 1: shouldn't have been. He was a very intelligent child. The 236 00:15:46,560 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: man on the horse, he could have been one of them, 237 00:15:48,880 --> 00:15:54,720 Speaker 1: Madison continued. Then we do what we've always done, Tilda said, 238 00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:57,360 Speaker 1: barely able to keep her voice free of sadness and 239 00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 1: weariness as she said it. But Madison broke off his face. 240 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:06,320 Speaker 1: Growing up, we could have died. I thought we were 241 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:11,280 Speaker 1: going to freeze to death. Tilt about her head, ashamed 242 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 1: at the truth of this. But we didn't. Mass or Okay, 243 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:21,280 Speaker 1: But we can't stay here, Madison pointed out. Tilda felt 244 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:23,680 Speaker 1: like she was having a conversation with an adult as 245 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: opposed to an eight year old child. And what if 246 00:16:26,720 --> 00:16:29,120 Speaker 1: it happens again while we're out there, But we don't 247 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:33,080 Speaker 1: find a place to stay, our food or water. We'll 248 00:16:33,120 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: figure it out. We'll be more careful. Her answers sounded 249 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:42,240 Speaker 1: hollow in her own ears. The people who say they 250 00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 1: are my grandparents, they won't stop looking while they Madison 251 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: looked at her, deep into her eyes, no till the murmured, 252 00:16:52,960 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 1: I don't think they will. And all those people He 253 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,840 Speaker 1: trailed off until to realize he had ever seen so 254 00:17:00,920 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: many people. It had been a long time since she 255 00:17:03,960 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 1: had either they were fighting. Tilda nodded, The others were 256 00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:13,199 Speaker 1: going to DC to look for the vaccine because of 257 00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:18,960 Speaker 1: what you said. Another nod, Madison looked down. Forehead crinkled. 258 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: Then if I can help them by studying, they can 259 00:17:25,160 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 1: make more medicines. Shouldn't shouldn't I help them? Tilda blinked, 260 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 1: blindsided by this. She'd not been expecting it. The thought 261 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,879 Speaker 1: had never occurred to her. So strong was her first 262 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:43,240 Speaker 1: priority of keeping Madison safe? What did that say about her? 263 00:17:44,720 --> 00:17:49,320 Speaker 1: Flinching unprepared for this moment of introspection, Tilda muttered, they 264 00:17:49,359 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 1: have a vaccine. They'll find a way to make more. 265 00:17:53,920 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 1: Madison did not look convinced by this answer. Dust floated 266 00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:02,679 Speaker 1: in the cool eye streaming through the window. Tilda stared 267 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:05,040 Speaker 1: at all of the particles, feeling as spread out and 268 00:18:05,080 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: disconnected as the particles drifting in the room. I don't understand, 269 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:16,480 Speaker 1: Madison admitted, a low concession, barely above a whisper. What 270 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:21,040 Speaker 1: don't you understand? Madison twisted his fingers, refusing to meet 271 00:18:21,080 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 1: her gaze. Why did they destroy all the vaccines if 272 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:30,439 Speaker 1: it would have helped helped people? Tilda understood this, but 273 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 1: not intimately. It was a foreign concept that she understood, 274 00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:40,639 Speaker 1: but only intellectually they wanted. She broke off, licking her lips, 275 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:43,200 Speaker 1: not wanting to have to explain this to her son, 276 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:48,440 Speaker 1: not knowing the words, not knowing how they were afraid, 277 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 1: she settled on. They were afraid of what it would 278 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,719 Speaker 1: mean to get everyone a vaccine, of losing power, and 279 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,639 Speaker 1: of what everyone would do when they found out, She 280 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 1: swaw took a deep breath when they found out that 281 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:09,879 Speaker 1: they had caused HSB, the disease. It was the truth 282 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,520 Speaker 1: of a poorly articulated one mass and mold us over 283 00:19:13,600 --> 00:19:18,880 Speaker 1: for a moment. But why'd they cause it? As strange 284 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,040 Speaker 1: as the sound's mouse. There used to be too many 285 00:19:22,119 --> 00:19:27,960 Speaker 1: people mass and gas allowed too many people, he parroted. 286 00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 1: Despite the subject matter, the corner of Tilda's lips twitched. Yes, 287 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:37,280 Speaker 1: there was a time when people were worried about overpopulation, 288 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,680 Speaker 1: that the size of our population was too big, and 289 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:43,440 Speaker 1: that we didn't have enough food or space for everyone. 290 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:49,120 Speaker 1: So a group of people they were trying to fix that. 291 00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 1: They were trying to fix things by making it so 292 00:19:52,760 --> 00:20:00,399 Speaker 1: people couldn't have babies, Madison demanded, aghast. Yes, he didn't 293 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: know it was going to keep people, or at least 294 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:10,440 Speaker 1: everyone from having babies. But Madison spluttered, didn't they test it? 295 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: I don't know, she admitted. Madison held her gaze, trying 296 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:21,440 Speaker 1: to understand. He gave a tiny sigh, frustrated. The crinkling 297 00:20:21,440 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 1: of the trail mixed wrapper as Madison fiddled with it 298 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:28,080 Speaker 1: in his lap sounded strangely loud. If those people were 299 00:20:28,119 --> 00:20:32,600 Speaker 1: my grandparents, Madison began slowly staring now at the fireplace, 300 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:39,200 Speaker 1: and their son was my father, till the stomach clinched 301 00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 1: in a way. She was grateful Madison was bringing up 302 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:46,160 Speaker 1: these questions instead of her having to initiate, but hearing them, 303 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:49,520 Speaker 1: these adult questions in the tiny child's voice made her 304 00:20:49,560 --> 00:20:53,560 Speaker 1: feel irresponsible and ashamed. So she were a child caught 305 00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,679 Speaker 1: sneaking in at night, and he was the word and 306 00:20:55,720 --> 00:21:01,399 Speaker 1: disappointed parent. Keeping her tone as neutral as possible, said yes. 307 00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 1: Madison processed that for a minute, okay, his voice broke. 308 00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:12,520 Speaker 1: Tilda lifted her eyes to his face, dismayed to see 309 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:16,680 Speaker 1: the tears silently streaming down it momentarily frozen in place. 310 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 1: She watched him despondently hug his knees to his chest 311 00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:23,040 Speaker 1: and bury his face in them, the white comforter sliding 312 00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: halfway to the floor. Fighting their urge to follow suit, 313 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 1: she rose, her body creaky like an old tree, and 314 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 1: approached him cautiously. She wasn't sure what had upset him, 315 00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:39,280 Speaker 1: For all she knew he was disgusted with her. As 316 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:41,720 Speaker 1: gracefully as she could when she felt like all of 317 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 1: her bones were brittle and could easily snap, she lowered 318 00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 1: herself onto the couch next to him, a wall of 319 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: blanket between them. She swallowed, watching, struggling to find the 320 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 1: most basic words, what's wrong? Madison hunched his shoulders, sniffling. 321 00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:02,000 Speaker 1: The need to comfort him overwhelmed her. Fear of his reaction, 322 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 1: and she reached out, putting a hand on his back. 323 00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:10,200 Speaker 1: Talk to me, sweetie, He gave a quiet sob. If 324 00:22:10,240 --> 00:22:13,879 Speaker 1: their family, his voice was so soft she had to 325 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:17,479 Speaker 1: lean forward and hang on to every word. If their family, 326 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: how could they do that? They were going to kill you. 327 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 1: Madison didn't know any family outside of Tilda. All he 328 00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: knew was a mother, a mother whose primary concern was 329 00:22:30,480 --> 00:22:35,240 Speaker 1: her son's survival. He didn't know grandparents or cousins or fathers. 330 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:38,639 Speaker 1: In his mind, he'd created a fairy tale version of 331 00:22:38,680 --> 00:22:41,560 Speaker 1: what a family must be, A care and group of 332 00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,360 Speaker 1: people that loved you in spite of everything, who were 333 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:46,720 Speaker 1: there for you when you needed them no matter what, 334 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,000 Speaker 1: who laughed with each other and protected each other. She 335 00:22:51,119 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: knew he thought this, She'd caught glimpses of it before 336 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,200 Speaker 1: his face after reading or hearing a story about unconditional 337 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 1: familial love, or even a family that was clearly loving, 338 00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,040 Speaker 1: even if their relationship was not the focus of this story. 339 00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 1: Little Things, he'd say that. Tilda was never sure how 340 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 1: to respond to his innocent drawings and descriptions of what 341 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,560 Speaker 1: his family must be like. She'd allowed him this because 342 00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:19,040 Speaker 1: she'd never imagined she'd meet the father or his parents, 343 00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,880 Speaker 1: nor had she known the identities of his paternal grandparents 344 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,800 Speaker 1: and her own did not fit into Madison's loving family mold, 345 00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,600 Speaker 1: and she hadn't had the heart to tell him that 346 00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:33,800 Speaker 1: this wasn't always the case. Tilda had never imagined that 347 00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:38,000 Speaker 1: his carefully constructed image would be so violently destroyed and 348 00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,200 Speaker 1: by his own family. By shielding him, Tilda had only 349 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,280 Speaker 1: allowed more, and maybe even a reparable damage to be done. 350 00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:50,160 Speaker 1: Sometimes family members do stupid things to the ones they're 351 00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 1: supposed to love. They were scared two mouths. They didn't 352 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:56,840 Speaker 1: know where you'd been or if you were safe. They 353 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,040 Speaker 1: didn't know who I was. They didn't know who so 354 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 1: I was either, Madison cried out no, but they knew 355 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,400 Speaker 1: you were a child, and that you were their grandson, 356 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:14,720 Speaker 1: and that you'd been kidnapped. Madison made a vehement sound 357 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:18,159 Speaker 1: of disagreement that drew a grin out of Tilda. In 358 00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:21,800 Speaker 1: their eyes, you'd been kidnapped, and I'm not their family, Madison, 359 00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,600 Speaker 1: you are. They don't see me as family, But aren't you? 360 00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:30,960 Speaker 1: Madison raised his head, eyeing her confusedly. Isn't that how 361 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:35,280 Speaker 1: it works? Tilda ran a hand through his hair, feeling 362 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 1: somehow that Madison was making her into something better. He 363 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,399 Speaker 1: was pushing her and challenging her and growing her and 364 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:46,320 Speaker 1: building her not always. She paused, searching for the best 365 00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 1: way to explain the father. I didn't see him again 366 00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 1: after you, so we didn't become family. Madison scrunched up 367 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,200 Speaker 1: his nose at this, and she knew he was trying 368 00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,280 Speaker 1: to reconcile that with all he pieced together from stories 369 00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:07,879 Speaker 1: about the makeup of families. But if I'm family, he conceded, 370 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,920 Speaker 1: his voice, suggesting that in his mind this was a stretch. 371 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:13,679 Speaker 1: Then wouldn't they know that hurting you would hurt me? 372 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:17,240 Speaker 1: They thought they were doing what was best for you, 373 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:22,639 Speaker 1: protecting you. Tilda never imagined she'd be defending Aaron and 374 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:30,440 Speaker 1: Darla Delane to her son. But they weren't, Madison stated conclusively, 375 00:25:30,520 --> 00:25:35,000 Speaker 1: wiping out his nose. Adults have this same for the 376 00:25:35,040 --> 00:25:38,439 Speaker 1: greater good. Tilda wiped a tear from his cheek. His 377 00:25:38,520 --> 00:25:42,600 Speaker 1: face was still cold. It means that sometimes you do 378 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: something you don't like because it'll be better for everyone. 379 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 1: Madison shook his head. But they were doing what was 380 00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:54,000 Speaker 1: best for them, what they wanted. Tilda couldn't argue that point, 381 00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 1: or at least she had very little desire to why 382 00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,000 Speaker 1: my father leave? The question was like a draft of 383 00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:06,720 Speaker 1: particularly chilly air til to imagine she could feel her 384 00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,560 Speaker 1: skin pimpling with goosebumps and the hair raising on the 385 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,800 Speaker 1: back of her neck. Because he didn't know I was 386 00:26:12,880 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: pregnant with you, and he'd done a bad thing, bad thing, 387 00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:24,600 Speaker 1: he broke the law. They were entering treacherous territory, now territory, 388 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 1: Tilda desperately wanted to get out of She tried to 389 00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:31,520 Speaker 1: preempt any further questions with He broke the law and 390 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 1: he was scared, so he ran away. Madison watched her 391 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:39,800 Speaker 1: intently for a second. It was all Tilda could do 392 00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:43,000 Speaker 1: not to shrink away. How do you break the law? 393 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,920 Speaker 1: The state doesn't want you to do anything that might 394 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 1: cause you to get HSV five without giving herself the 395 00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,760 Speaker 1: best chances of having a baby. Since there are so 396 00:26:55,040 --> 00:26:58,320 Speaker 1: few of us left, was it time to have the 397 00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:03,840 Speaker 1: sex talk? She thought, laughing aloud in semi hysteria. He 398 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:07,639 Speaker 1: did it anyway, Madison asked, a seriousness unsuited for his 399 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:14,359 Speaker 1: young face, painting his features. Tilda nodded, throped dry. Why 400 00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:18,480 Speaker 1: Tilda had really hoped he wouldn't ask that very question 401 00:27:18,560 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 1: ran circles around her brain at night, keeping her awake. 402 00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:24,520 Speaker 1: Even though she knew the answer, It gave her no comfort. 403 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: It made her feel even more helpless, worthless, like a 404 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,520 Speaker 1: thing to be used and discarded and forgot. She opened 405 00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,720 Speaker 1: her mouth to answer, but then closed it with a click. 406 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:40,359 Speaker 1: Madison waited patiently. Sometimes Tilda thought their relationship lived in 407 00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 1: the silence as they shared. He wanted to feel in control, 408 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: to feel powerful. She tried. Haltingly, Maison mouthed the word powerful. 409 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:59,359 Speaker 1: It takes two people to make a baby. I didn't 410 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:03,160 Speaker 1: want to and he did. As soon as the words 411 00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,480 Speaker 1: left her lips, she wanted to take them back. You 412 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:11,480 Speaker 1: didn't want to. No, I knew it was against the law, 413 00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 1: and we never really met before. Most people want to 414 00:28:15,119 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 1: have a baby with someone they know, someone they trust. 415 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,000 Speaker 1: Her voice cracked, and to her shocked, tears leaked past 416 00:28:23,040 --> 00:28:26,520 Speaker 1: her own eyes A bitdden. Now she was the one 417 00:28:26,560 --> 00:28:30,680 Speaker 1: crying with a shaky breast, she finished with someone you trust. 418 00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: Wide green eyes studied her. She felt to wor gain control. 419 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:41,880 Speaker 1: So he hurt you, he asked, sounding so so small. Yeah, yeah, 420 00:28:41,880 --> 00:28:48,040 Speaker 1: he did, till his chest felt tight, her face uncomfortably hot. 421 00:28:48,680 --> 00:28:53,840 Speaker 1: A long beat passed, and that made him feel powerful 422 00:28:54,360 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 1: to hurt someone else. Yes, but Madison broke off, not 423 00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:08,600 Speaker 1: able to articulate his confusion. At this, My dad, he said, 424 00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:15,280 Speaker 1: the moniker with distaste is bad, a bad person. He 425 00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:18,360 Speaker 1: posed the question, miserably, hoping her answer would be no. 426 00:29:19,120 --> 00:29:21,200 Speaker 1: Tilda knew he must be clinging to the shreds of 427 00:29:21,240 --> 00:29:23,920 Speaker 1: the image he'd created and fostered for years of what 428 00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:29,000 Speaker 1: his family must be he did a bad thing. I 429 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:34,880 Speaker 1: didn't know him well. I can't say he's bad. All 430 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:37,280 Speaker 1: I can say is he did a bad thing. Maybe 431 00:29:37,320 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: he feels bad for it. The watery explanation was insubstantial 432 00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:45,560 Speaker 1: at best, and possibly severely damaging at worst, but Tilda 433 00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,400 Speaker 1: could think of nothing else to add. She felt a 434 00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:50,920 Speaker 1: tiredness now that had nothing to do with the aching 435 00:29:50,960 --> 00:29:54,959 Speaker 1: in her bones or the lack of food. She stared 436 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:58,560 Speaker 1: forward blankly, her mind in a quiet turmoil. She jumped 437 00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 1: badly when Madison his head in her lap. Robotically, without thought, 438 00:30:03,760 --> 00:30:07,280 Speaker 1: she started stroking his matted hair, vaguely and rather ridiculously, 439 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: wondering if she could find some scissors to cut it, 440 00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 1: and the air clippers and a whole host of other 441 00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:16,000 Speaker 1: things to distract her from the yawning agony raging inside her. 442 00:30:16,160 --> 00:30:20,600 Speaker 1: Hungry and eager, they both succumbed to the silence that 443 00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 1: had been encroaching, not so much washing over them as 444 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,560 Speaker 1: flooding over them, crushing with the weight of all that 445 00:30:27,600 --> 00:30:31,400 Speaker 1: they had talked about. She and Madison often did this 446 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: when they had little food or water, when the elements 447 00:30:34,120 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 1: racked their starved and exhausted bodies and they could find 448 00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:41,840 Speaker 1: no shelter, sat still, quiet, shutting down to preserve in 449 00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:47,160 Speaker 1: their teeth. For hours, They'd play statues, thinking nothing, being nothing, 450 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:50,840 Speaker 1: until one of them took a deep, gasping breath, as 451 00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:55,200 Speaker 1: though emerging from water, gulping life giving oxygen, and moved again. 452 00:30:56,240 --> 00:30:59,440 Speaker 1: But this time it was not dehydration or starvation that 453 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:02,840 Speaker 1: paralyzed them in a hibernation state, but the darkness of 454 00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:06,280 Speaker 1: the world around them, the uncertainty of what lay ahead. 455 00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:10,800 Speaker 1: Tilda was the first to emerge after an indeterminate amount 456 00:31:10,800 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 1: of time had passed, Feeling like she had emerged from 457 00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:18,200 Speaker 1: a deep sleep absence of dreams. She blinked slowly a 458 00:31:18,240 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: small eternity of darkness each time, her breath reedy and wispy, 459 00:31:22,720 --> 00:31:26,760 Speaker 1: like the flame of a candle and a breezy night. Carefully, 460 00:31:26,800 --> 00:31:30,240 Speaker 1: she placed a hand on each of Madison's temples, lifting 461 00:31:30,280 --> 00:31:32,320 Speaker 1: his head and laying it back down on the cushion 462 00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,720 Speaker 1: after she scooted it out from underneath. His eyes were 463 00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:41,080 Speaker 1: open but glassy. Unseen, Tilda stretched, trying to keep the 464 00:31:41,080 --> 00:31:45,600 Speaker 1: gnawing fear at bay. Would it never end? Would they 465 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,760 Speaker 1: always be on the run, always starving and cold and 466 00:31:48,880 --> 00:31:53,960 Speaker 1: tired and thirsty, and never knowing was there no future 467 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:59,200 Speaker 1: for them outside of surviving the next moment. Tilda shoved 468 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,600 Speaker 1: those thoughts away. She was close enough to shattering without 469 00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,160 Speaker 1: giving them voice. She could feel them in her blood, 470 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:09,760 Speaker 1: in her heart, pumping through her veins, to various body parts, 471 00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:13,360 Speaker 1: to her brain and her fingers and shoulders. They were 472 00:32:13,440 --> 00:32:17,600 Speaker 1: part of her, and dwelling on it didn't help. She 473 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:21,800 Speaker 1: moved through the room without purpose, flipping through magazines, eyeing thins, 474 00:32:21,840 --> 00:32:25,480 Speaker 1: smiling cover models and their perfect skin and their perfect hair, 475 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:29,080 Speaker 1: with an odd mix of nostalgic pity, to think how 476 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:32,200 Speaker 1: obsessed people used to be about being thin, how worried 477 00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:36,080 Speaker 1: about their appearance. She looked at clothes with numbers next 478 00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:40,520 Speaker 1: to them, prices that were now meaningless, beauty tips as 479 00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 1: for perfume and watches, and things that meant nothing now, 480 00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:48,480 Speaker 1: recipes that promised weight loss with little effort, the pictures 481 00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:52,960 Speaker 1: making her mouth water. Tilda laughed and quiet disbelief at 482 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:56,800 Speaker 1: the sex tips, the sheer number of them, pregnancy prevention, 483 00:32:57,600 --> 00:33:00,760 Speaker 1: all the letters to the editor about significant others leaving 484 00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 1: out the dishes or gossiping or asking for advice about 485 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,880 Speaker 1: how to approach a crush, The answer almost always some 486 00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:13,000 Speaker 1: convoluted thing that at its essence was communication. What the 487 00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: hell is a beach body, Tilda thought, wondering at all 488 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,600 Speaker 1: the aspects of a life lost now archaic. There were 489 00:33:21,640 --> 00:33:25,040 Speaker 1: some books on the nightstand, most of them about hiking, 490 00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:28,480 Speaker 1: but a few that looked to be mysteries. One cookbook 491 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:31,640 Speaker 1: Tilda pushed away, regretfully, knowing it would only make the 492 00:33:31,680 --> 00:33:35,280 Speaker 1: aching in her stomach all that much worse. She meandered 493 00:33:35,320 --> 00:33:37,840 Speaker 1: back to the bathroom, opening the drawers once again and 494 00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:41,880 Speaker 1: finding nothing. Then she checked the medicine cabinet and found 495 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:46,400 Speaker 1: one thing she was searching for, nail clippers. Pocketing them 496 00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,040 Speaker 1: in her jeans, she traced her steps back to the kitchen, 497 00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 1: opening the drawers until she found the utensils, and, along 498 00:33:52,240 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 1: with them, the second item she'd been searching for, scissors, 499 00:33:56,560 --> 00:33:59,120 Speaker 1: originally intended for meat, but they were going to be 500 00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,640 Speaker 1: repurposed for hair. They were a little dull, bigger than 501 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:06,800 Speaker 1: what she'd prefer, but they'd have to do. Maybe she'd 502 00:34:06,880 --> 00:34:09,440 Speaker 1: let Madison trim her hair. It's not like she was 503 00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,560 Speaker 1: trying to impress anyway, and the way her arms and 504 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:14,280 Speaker 1: shoulders felt she didn't much fancy the idea of holding 505 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:17,239 Speaker 1: them up in awkward, uncomfortable positions. As she cut her 506 00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: own hair on a whim, she switched on the faucet, 507 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:24,239 Speaker 1: but of course no water came out. Tilda backtracked to 508 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: the bathroom, closing the toilet seat and lowering herself onto it, 509 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:31,279 Speaker 1: starting the process of clipping her nails with careful detachment. 510 00:34:32,080 --> 00:34:35,200 Speaker 1: Her hands were shaking, still weak, she stared at the 511 00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:39,240 Speaker 1: dirt pressed underneath the hard, translucent nails, gritted and blood 512 00:34:39,360 --> 00:34:43,480 Speaker 1: blackened with age. Her fingers were bruised and blistered and scarred. 513 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:47,080 Speaker 1: A map of her past, she cataloged the number, but 514 00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,279 Speaker 1: she had no memory of the origins of most of them. 515 00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,319 Speaker 1: This life came with physical evidence of the hardship of 516 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,840 Speaker 1: surviving it. She could feel the sores on her face 517 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:57,880 Speaker 1: dry in the cold. She focused on the pain of 518 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,800 Speaker 1: cutting her nails, using it to anger her. She thought 519 00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 1: now about her original plant to return home to see 520 00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:06,960 Speaker 1: her parents after the chaos in DC. She thought maybe 521 00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: everyone would be too busy to care much about her 522 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:13,480 Speaker 1: and Madison, but now that seemed quite unlikely. Even Madison 523 00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 1: was worried about those that might be pursuing them, but 524 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:20,760 Speaker 1: she wanted so badly to see them again. In truth, 525 00:35:20,920 --> 00:35:23,560 Speaker 1: she could barely picture her mother's face or remember the 526 00:35:23,600 --> 00:35:26,600 Speaker 1: sound of her father's voice. She was tired of being 527 00:35:26,640 --> 00:35:29,160 Speaker 1: the one who had to answer questions that had no 528 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:32,640 Speaker 1: good answers, who was supposed to know, who was supposed 529 00:35:32,680 --> 00:35:36,440 Speaker 1: to decide, of being responsible for another person's life when 530 00:35:36,440 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 1: the world was dying. Blood welled under her thumb when 531 00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,520 Speaker 1: she cut too close to the skin. She watched it 532 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:48,480 Speaker 1: dark red, staining, bruised and purple dappled white, not bothering 533 00:35:48,480 --> 00:35:50,600 Speaker 1: to clean it or attempt to stop it from bleeding, 534 00:35:50,840 --> 00:35:53,520 Speaker 1: She took care of the rest of her nails. Then 535 00:35:53,560 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 1: she removed her socks blankly, taking in modeled feet a 536 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,320 Speaker 1: splotched with purple red and black hues, her toes a 537 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 1: garish black. Underneath the nails, she trimmed them down, already 538 00:36:03,719 --> 00:36:06,440 Speaker 1: relishing the lack of pain caused by them jamming against 539 00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,640 Speaker 1: the front of her boots. Each nail took some force 540 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,480 Speaker 1: thicker than the coverings of her fingers, and sent a 541 00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,520 Speaker 1: small thrill of pain racing through each toe. She thought 542 00:36:15,560 --> 00:36:17,880 Speaker 1: back to the magazine she'd flipped through, and the nails 543 00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: of bright oranges and pinks. When she next looked up, 544 00:36:21,800 --> 00:36:24,720 Speaker 1: Madison stood in the doorway, arms crossed tightly over his torso, 545 00:36:24,920 --> 00:36:29,560 Speaker 1: watching her fretfully. His eyes strayed to the blood. She stood, 546 00:36:29,680 --> 00:36:32,120 Speaker 1: gesturing for him to take the spot she'd just vacated. 547 00:36:32,560 --> 00:36:36,080 Speaker 1: He did so, eyeing her almost suspiciously. Tilda held out 548 00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:39,719 Speaker 1: her hand and he reluctantly placed his in it gently, 549 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:42,480 Speaker 1: much more carefully than she'd been with herself. She clipped 550 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,640 Speaker 1: his nails. He did not have as much dirt packed underneath, 551 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,400 Speaker 1: nor did he have all the scars and cowuses decorating 552 00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 1: his hands, but there were beginnings. She traced an ugly 553 00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 1: cut on the inside of his pinky delicately. Madison regarded her, 554 00:36:57,200 --> 00:37:00,319 Speaker 1: his face painfully open, always tried to make sense of her, 555 00:37:00,400 --> 00:37:04,920 Speaker 1: to read her like a book, pinpoint her motivations. Tilda 556 00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,440 Speaker 1: finished one bird like hand, and then another, drawing no blood. 557 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:11,520 Speaker 1: She admired her handiwork for a moment, then tugged off 558 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,120 Speaker 1: his socks, drawing a small sound of protest from him, 559 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,759 Speaker 1: and started in on his toenails. Blacketted and rough as well, 560 00:37:18,719 --> 00:37:22,440 Speaker 1: she worked diligently, taking her time. When she was finished, 561 00:37:22,480 --> 00:37:25,600 Speaker 1: she slid the wooly socks back onto tiny feet and 562 00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:28,520 Speaker 1: placed the clippers on the immaculately white countertop next to 563 00:37:28,560 --> 00:37:33,120 Speaker 1: the sink. Taking up the scissors, Madison sighed, accepting but wary. 564 00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:35,839 Speaker 1: She reached up for a comb and a cup next 565 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,960 Speaker 1: to the sink and ran it gingerly through his mousy 566 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:41,080 Speaker 1: brown hair, grinning at the annoyed twist of his features. 567 00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:44,520 Speaker 1: It took several tries and some finesse to work the 568 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,680 Speaker 1: mats out of his hair, tiny twigs and bits of 569 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:50,400 Speaker 1: leaves and dirt falling to the floor. Using the comb, 570 00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: she pulled his hair toot and started snipping away, taking 571 00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,600 Speaker 1: a little over an inch that ended in frizzy split ends. 572 00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:00,760 Speaker 1: She took her time, appreciating the simplicity of doing something 573 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,040 Speaker 1: with tangible results. She worked her way around his head, 574 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:07,520 Speaker 1: locks of hair floating to the tile. Madison sat still 575 00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:11,160 Speaker 1: as Tilda maneuvered into better positions and angles. She ran 576 00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,720 Speaker 1: the comb through, taking care of any unevenness the best 577 00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:19,320 Speaker 1: she could. Madison sneezed, itching at his face. Tilda dusted 578 00:38:19,360 --> 00:38:21,319 Speaker 1: off the locks of hair from his shoulder and his 579 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:25,560 Speaker 1: back and admired her handiwork. With shorter hair, Madison looked 580 00:38:25,600 --> 00:38:29,800 Speaker 1: even younger. Without a word, she handed him the scissors 581 00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,040 Speaker 1: handle first, and patted him gently on the back, indicating 582 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,920 Speaker 1: for him to get up. They switched positions, Madison standing 583 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,719 Speaker 1: before her, the scissors clutched in his hands, inquisitiveness and 584 00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:44,320 Speaker 1: apprehension on his face. He'd never cut Tilda's hair before. 585 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,279 Speaker 1: Tilda yank to come through her hair, wincing at all 586 00:38:47,320 --> 00:38:50,040 Speaker 1: the tangles, all the bits shy leaves itching at the 587 00:38:50,040 --> 00:38:53,480 Speaker 1: back of her neck. After she was satisfied, Tilda gave 588 00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,640 Speaker 1: Madison an encouraging smile, and Madison's shoulders relaxed the tiniest 589 00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:02,040 Speaker 1: bit with more concentration than the jotion warranted. The child approached, 590 00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,279 Speaker 1: determined to do a good job and give her a 591 00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:07,920 Speaker 1: good haircut. Tilda almost laughed at the ridiculousness of her 592 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:10,839 Speaker 1: son giving her a haircut at a dystopian world, one 593 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:13,319 Speaker 1: she'd read about in many novels when she was growing up. 594 00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 1: In all the books she'd read about the end of civilization, 595 00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:18,880 Speaker 1: they'd never gone into the details of haircuts or of 596 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:23,919 Speaker 1: nails teeth, till suppose that'd be boring. Before HSV five 597 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:26,879 Speaker 1: had spread, had slowly and steadily cut their numbers down 598 00:39:26,960 --> 00:39:30,680 Speaker 1: stripped their civilization and their hope, made clear that extinction 599 00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:34,840 Speaker 1: was not only a possibility, but an extremely probable one. 600 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:38,279 Speaker 1: Authors had indulged in an obsession with the end of 601 00:39:38,320 --> 00:39:42,040 Speaker 1: the world. Book after a book Tilda consumed painted bleak 602 00:39:42,239 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 1: landscapes and hopeless populations. She wondered if any of those 603 00:39:46,280 --> 00:39:48,239 Speaker 1: authors had lived to see the beginnings of the things 604 00:39:48,239 --> 00:39:51,719 Speaker 1: they'd previously only imagined and wrote about. If they think 605 00:39:51,760 --> 00:39:54,399 Speaker 1: about the reality versus the world they visualized in their 606 00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:59,200 Speaker 1: mind and shared in pages, how did they compare? Were 607 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:02,280 Speaker 1: there any author writing now would there ever be again? 608 00:40:03,120 --> 00:40:04,919 Speaker 1: And now that the end of the world was here, 609 00:40:05,239 --> 00:40:08,640 Speaker 1: as boring and coolly slow as it was, what would 610 00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:13,640 Speaker 1: they write about? Snip, tilta hat and specified a lenk. 611 00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:16,040 Speaker 1: She just wanted to see what Madison came up with 612 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,920 Speaker 1: if she left him to his own devices. Judging by 613 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:21,160 Speaker 1: the look of blonde hair floating to the floor, he 614 00:40:21,280 --> 00:40:24,879 Speaker 1: was going to take off quite a bit. Madison worked 615 00:40:24,920 --> 00:40:28,160 Speaker 1: in silence, mimicking her actions. He pulled her hair taut, 616 00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,560 Speaker 1: working on the top layer and then a bottom layer. 617 00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,080 Speaker 1: Cutting her hair had particular challenges that Madison's did not. 618 00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:37,239 Speaker 1: It was thicker, and longer, and there was nothing to 619 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:42,080 Speaker 1: pin it back. He worked diligently, binding his lip in concentration. 620 00:40:42,960 --> 00:40:45,840 Speaker 1: More and more blonde glittered the floor one side of 621 00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:48,400 Speaker 1: her head, feeling lighter and lighter, until he repositioned so 622 00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:50,799 Speaker 1: he was behind her, tilting her head for gently. As 623 00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,319 Speaker 1: he started to working on the back, bits of hair 624 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:55,800 Speaker 1: tickled at her neck and her back as they slipped 625 00:40:55,840 --> 00:41:00,880 Speaker 1: into her collar. Madison kept reevaluating, comparing links, trying to match. 626 00:41:01,520 --> 00:41:03,680 Speaker 1: Tilda wanted to tell him that it didn't matter, with 627 00:41:03,760 --> 00:41:07,280 Speaker 1: the idea of talking seemed incredibly insurmountable. At the moment, 628 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 1: Madison darted across her field of vision and to her 629 00:41:11,160 --> 00:41:15,399 Speaker 1: other side, snipping away. He'd lost some of the care 630 00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:17,960 Speaker 1: he'd shown in the beginning, the novelty of it wearing off, 631 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,520 Speaker 1: but still he took his time. Tilda's head felt lighter 632 00:41:21,520 --> 00:41:24,400 Speaker 1: and lighter until he stepped back with a sigh, tentative 633 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:28,520 Speaker 1: awaiting her judgment. She ran her fingers through her hair, 634 00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:32,400 Speaker 1: running her thumb along the ends, giving Madison a reassuring smile. 635 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:35,320 Speaker 1: She hoisted herself up and turned to look in the mirror. 636 00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:38,840 Speaker 1: He'd cut off a substantial amount so that the longest 637 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:42,160 Speaker 1: sections of hair fell just below her shoulders, the shortest 638 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:45,560 Speaker 1: just under her chin. It was messy and uneven, not 639 00:41:45,600 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 1: that she was worried about the aesthetics. Utility was the 640 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 1: key here. Any chance she had at being keat was 641 00:41:52,719 --> 00:41:55,720 Speaker 1: undermined by the gauntness of her face, the stark, pale 642 00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,879 Speaker 1: and purple hues, the sores. She wondered if the sowreds 643 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,360 Speaker 1: would ever become fashion. She'd run across some odd fashions 644 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:05,840 Speaker 1: in the history books she'd read. You did a good job, 645 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:09,120 Speaker 1: she assured, the child watching with anticipation, breaking the silence 646 00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:12,719 Speaker 1: that had engulfed them. Thank you. He didn't relax, but 647 00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:15,560 Speaker 1: jerkily handed her the scissors a passing of the baton. 648 00:42:16,160 --> 00:42:20,000 Speaker 1: Tilda took them. They were warm from Madison's hands. She 649 00:42:20,080 --> 00:42:22,279 Speaker 1: placed them on the counter, debating briefly if they should 650 00:42:22,320 --> 00:42:24,480 Speaker 1: clean up the hair, and then deciding that they should, 651 00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:27,480 Speaker 1: if only in case someone else discovered the cabin or 652 00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:30,040 Speaker 1: they had to make a quick getaway. She didn't want 653 00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:33,279 Speaker 1: to leave any obvious evidence of their presences and indicators 654 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:36,840 Speaker 1: of who they were. Tilda patted Madison on the head. 655 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 1: She fetched a broom. She remembered seeing from the holloway 656 00:42:39,480 --> 00:42:42,319 Speaker 1: closet when she'd grabbed the comforter from there earlier and 657 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,440 Speaker 1: returned to the bathroom. Madison, still standing up where she'd 658 00:42:45,480 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: left him, He halfed to awigy when she workelessly began 659 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:51,200 Speaker 1: sweeping around his feet. Once she swept all the hair 660 00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:54,040 Speaker 1: into a manageable pile, she popped up the handle attachment, 661 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,239 Speaker 1: knelt down and swept the hair up, dumping it in 662 00:42:56,360 --> 00:42:59,840 Speaker 1: a trash can. After a momentary pause, she came to 663 00:42:59,880 --> 00:43:02,600 Speaker 1: the decision to empty the bent outsides of birds could 664 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:04,720 Speaker 1: use it to make nest and the wind could disperse 665 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 1: their strands of hair throughout the forest. Now that those 666 00:43:08,239 --> 00:43:10,520 Speaker 1: mundane and oddly domestic tasks were out of the way, 667 00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:14,360 Speaker 1: what were they to do? In Tilda's mind, they needed 668 00:43:14,400 --> 00:43:17,120 Speaker 1: another day to recover before they braid the outdoors again, 669 00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,400 Speaker 1: but food wise, they didn't have the option of lingering. 670 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:22,360 Speaker 1: More than that, Tilda thought back to the selection of 671 00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:24,480 Speaker 1: bows and arrows behind the counter at one of the 672 00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:27,400 Speaker 1: camping stores they'd passed when they first entered the woods. 673 00:43:28,280 --> 00:43:30,320 Speaker 1: She toyed with picking one of them up at the time, 674 00:43:30,440 --> 00:43:33,399 Speaker 1: but apart from having very little experience with shooting, them. 675 00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,480 Speaker 1: She deemed it too cumbersome to carry for long distances, 676 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 1: but now well, perhaps she'd have to teach herself. She 677 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:45,000 Speaker 1: imagined much of the prepackaged and canned food supply that 678 00:43:45,040 --> 00:43:49,239 Speaker 1: remained must be dwindling. Soon they'd have to hunt. If 679 00:43:49,280 --> 00:43:51,719 Speaker 1: they could find a secluded place to settle down, then 680 00:43:51,760 --> 00:43:54,799 Speaker 1: they could grow food too. Til didn't know much in 681 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:57,080 Speaker 1: the way of gardening, but her mother had tended a 682 00:43:57,120 --> 00:44:00,279 Speaker 1: garden and imparted some of her knowledge to Tilda had 683 00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:04,480 Speaker 1: gleaned from observing others. But the only areas secluded enough 684 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,839 Speaker 1: for Tilda to feel safe and their settling down would 685 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,799 Speaker 1: be up in the cold Appalachian mountains or in the Midwest. 686 00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:14,040 Speaker 1: Maybe it was time to start considering those options seriously. 687 00:44:15,560 --> 00:44:18,399 Speaker 1: She recalled Lynde's words and recognized the truth in them. 688 00:44:19,120 --> 00:44:21,440 Speaker 1: They couldn't go on as they had been for much longer, 689 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:25,520 Speaker 1: now that Madison had been immunized with the vaccine, and 690 00:44:25,640 --> 00:44:28,200 Speaker 1: with the state in turmoil, perhaps they could pass beyond 691 00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,600 Speaker 1: the clutches of enforcers and find somewhere to call home. 692 00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:35,280 Speaker 1: In that case, heading south to see her parents seemed 693 00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:39,279 Speaker 1: incredibly foolish, but with winter already upon them, escaping the 694 00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,960 Speaker 1: worst of the cold was a necessity. All these thoughts 695 00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:45,560 Speaker 1: tumbled around Tilda's head as she headed to the back 696 00:44:45,600 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 1: door at the end of the hallway to empty the bin. 697 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:51,799 Speaker 1: She twisted the dead bolt. The door whined as she 698 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,840 Speaker 1: opened it, a blast of cold immediately assaulting her. Shivering, 699 00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,120 Speaker 1: she leaned as far as she could at the door 700 00:44:58,280 --> 00:45:01,040 Speaker 1: without stepping out, and turn learned at the bin the 701 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,239 Speaker 1: locks of hair drifting in the gentle breeze, falling and 702 00:45:04,280 --> 00:45:07,160 Speaker 1: getting caught in the draft that elevated them again. A 703 00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:10,000 Speaker 1: sudden gust up wind sent them buffeting north to Tilbo's 704 00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:12,799 Speaker 1: right until the cult sight of something she hadn't seen 705 00:45:13,160 --> 00:45:38,799 Speaker 1: in a long time, a generator. And that brings us 706 00:45:38,840 --> 00:45:41,960 Speaker 1: to the end of the second chapter of the second 707 00:45:42,040 --> 00:45:45,920 Speaker 1: part of Terminus. I do find it funny once again, 708 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,960 Speaker 1: the last of us had not come out yet, and 709 00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:53,239 Speaker 1: this is quite comical at this point for me reading this, 710 00:45:53,880 --> 00:45:56,800 Speaker 1: I did find it funny. There's a whole thing about generators. 711 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,239 Speaker 1: Finding a generator that is such a big trope in 712 00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:04,000 Speaker 1: horror video games. You find the generator of the new 713 00:46:04,120 --> 00:46:06,600 Speaker 1: started and in all the zombies here written of course 714 00:46:07,080 --> 00:46:09,920 Speaker 1: towards you so it's like, what are you gonna do? Oh, 715 00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:13,880 Speaker 1: you got to weigh your dangers here. Also, just a 716 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:18,920 Speaker 1: quick note, as I said, this is for me interesting 717 00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,600 Speaker 1: to look back on because I had just come out 718 00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,279 Speaker 1: of college when I wrote this, and just what I 719 00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:28,880 Speaker 1: was thinking about when I wrote this is interesting to me. 720 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:38,400 Speaker 1: There is a pretty intense section where they discuss sexual 721 00:46:38,400 --> 00:46:42,439 Speaker 1: assault in this one. It doesn't necessarily reflect my own thoughts. 722 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:47,080 Speaker 1: I think it's it's interesting to read it now. I 723 00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:50,840 Speaker 1: don't think she's wrong necessarily. I just think it's interesting. 724 00:46:50,920 --> 00:46:53,440 Speaker 1: She's clearly still processing a lot of stuff, which I 725 00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:57,920 Speaker 1: probably wants to at that time. And I do think 726 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:01,399 Speaker 1: it's it's more complicated to talk about than some people think, 727 00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,520 Speaker 1: especially people who have never been through it. But uh, 728 00:47:04,680 --> 00:47:08,200 Speaker 1: I don't know. I had forgotten that that was in here, 729 00:47:08,680 --> 00:47:14,840 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, but just to say, please 730 00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:18,600 Speaker 1: don't find this as prescriptive. She's not in a good place. 731 00:47:19,080 --> 00:47:21,200 Speaker 1: I don't think what she's saying is horrible at all. 732 00:47:21,239 --> 00:47:28,359 Speaker 1: I'm just saying she is still processing good Yeah. Yeah, 733 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:31,479 Speaker 1: because I've gotten comments about that in fan fiction before, 734 00:47:31,480 --> 00:47:34,239 Speaker 1: where they're like, this isn't the healthiest behavior, and I like, 735 00:47:34,360 --> 00:47:43,640 Speaker 1: I know that it wouldn't be like entertaining and or great. Right. 736 00:47:45,280 --> 00:47:47,920 Speaker 1: It's a good point to know, but it's also like 737 00:47:48,880 --> 00:47:53,600 Speaker 1: I hope you know I don't, but it's also sometimes 738 00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:56,560 Speaker 1: people don't know that. So anyway, I'm putting the note 739 00:47:56,640 --> 00:48:00,560 Speaker 1: at the end of this that I know, yes, yes, 740 00:48:01,000 --> 00:48:03,600 Speaker 1: but I do hope that you're enjoying this. Listeners, We 741 00:48:03,680 --> 00:48:05,719 Speaker 1: do enjoy doing them, and as always, if you have 742 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:09,040 Speaker 1: a suggestion for something in the public domain, we could 743 00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:11,840 Speaker 1: do that's in this realm. We would love to do it. 744 00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,719 Speaker 1: Of course, it is a bigger lift, so we have 745 00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:19,520 Speaker 1: to give a runway for our magician Christina, but we 746 00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,960 Speaker 1: do love to do it, so let us know. You 747 00:48:23,120 --> 00:48:25,360 Speaker 1: can email us a Stephanie and moms Stuff at iHeartMedia 748 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:27,080 Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom 749 00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:29,799 Speaker 1: Stuff podcast, or on Instagram and TikTok at Steffon'll Never 750 00:48:29,880 --> 00:48:35,120 Speaker 1: Told You. We have a tea public store and a book. Yes, thanks, 751 00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:39,080 Speaker 1: it's always too our super producer Christina, our executive producer Maya, 752 00:48:39,200 --> 00:48:41,600 Speaker 1: and our contributor Joey. Thank you and thanks to you 753 00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,880 Speaker 1: for listening. Stuff I'll Never Told You is production by 754 00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,640 Speaker 1: Heart Radio. For more podcast from my heart Radio. You 755 00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:47,680 Speaker 1: can check out the heart Radio app, Apple podcasts, or 756 00:48:47,680 --> 00:48:49,360 Speaker 1: wherever you listen to your favorite shows.