Speaker 1: Episode one seventeen, Maintaining financial stability through big life changes.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, rights, and live with your life.
Speaker 1: Here your host Jen and Jill. Welcome to the Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name is Jill.
Speaker 1: And today we are doing a request that I actually
Speaker 1: have been putting off because it is such a huge topic.
Speaker 1: But I finally feel like we've we can weave it
Speaker 1: in and make it as accessible as possible, and I
Speaker 1: think it's super relevant right now. And that's big life changes. Yes,
Speaker 1: whether that's a career change or going through a divorce
Speaker 1: or moving or kids changes with how many kids you
Speaker 1: have or don't have, kids, leaving kids, arriving, so many changes,
Speaker 1: so whatever your big life changes. We have a few
Speaker 1: specific articles, but we are going to make this as
Speaker 1: accessible as possible for everyone while catering to the ones
Speaker 1: that were kind of our biggest requests. But first, our
Speaker 1: sponsors don't don't We just want to put sound noises
Speaker 1: with that great thing that we do. I know, we
Speaker 1: are our own soundtrack, the Frugal Friends work Book. You all,
Speaker 1: this is big news. Our show has always been about
Speaker 1: coming together around a shared desire to save more, consume less,
Speaker 1: and do great things financially. And we have been working
Speaker 1: our hearts out to bring you something that helps you
Speaker 1: do that better. And it is called the Ferval Friends Workbook.
Speaker 1: We worked too hard on the inside to come up
Speaker 1: with a better name. The Frugal Friends work Book can
Speaker 1: be completed on your own, but it's created to be
Speaker 1: gone through in pairs or small groups. It's a six
Speaker 1: week long, well, six week long challenges that will help
Speaker 1: you become more frugal in various aspects of your life.
Speaker 1: And it launches August seven, and you'll be hearing more
Speaker 1: about that in the coming weeks, but we just want
Speaker 1: to kind of build the hype. Yes, man, we are
Speaker 1: so excited for you guys to get your little digital
Speaker 1: hands on this and tiny little digit fingers. Yes. So
Speaker 1: it's really exciting and we can't wait. This episode is
Speaker 1: also brought to you by plot Twists, specifically the great
Speaker 1: Instagram post I saw the other day that said you've
Speaker 1: got every right to give them a plot twist if
Speaker 1: things are not working in your life or if you
Speaker 1: want to go a different direction, you don't owe anybody
Speaker 1: else your story, you can just give them a plot twist.
Speaker 1: And I sorry whoever posted that, I could not find
Speaker 1: the original post to give you credit. Wow, but thank you.
Speaker 1: I like that reframe of doing something different. It's just
Speaker 1: a plot twist. It's a plot twists what everybody make
Speaker 1: Your life a good boy? Your life is a good book,
Speaker 1: and so plot twist. That's what we're talking about today.
Speaker 1: And so both of our articles are from Forbes, because
Speaker 1: really there's no articles about just general financial steps to
Speaker 1: take during a big life change. Now you know, Jen,
Speaker 1: what you need to write on. I know it's super
Speaker 1: I mean, I guess maybe nobody is searching for that,
Speaker 1: but people are asking. So this first article is specifically
Speaker 1: about divorce. We had a lot of people in the
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends community kind of asking for financial tips to
Speaker 1: get stability after a divorce, and so we're going to
Speaker 1: try and pick out the ones that are our best,
Speaker 1: that we think our best out of the seven must
Speaker 1: do steps for women who want financial stability post divorce.
Speaker 1: So this article is written to very specific right to
Speaker 1: women post divorce. But we're hoping to be able to
Speaker 1: pull these tips out that can be helpful for whoever
Speaker 1: is listening and might be walking through a divorce, whether
Speaker 1: male or female, as well as any big life change.
Speaker 1: A lot of what's listed here can be useful for
Speaker 1: us in any kind of dramatic shift in our lives
Speaker 1: and what we need to be considering, specifically financially. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so what were your favorites, Jill? Yeah? So I like
Speaker 1: how they pointed out just updating all of your accounts,
Speaker 1: and this is It sounds mundane, and it sounds really
Speaker 1: simple even, but it's really important that we make sure
Speaker 1: that all of our accounts are updated, meaning that correct
Speaker 1: names are on the accounts, correct addresses are on the accounts,
Speaker 1: and that would include bank, utility, insurance, credit cards, vehicles, schools,
Speaker 1: titles on cars and houses, and and all of your
Speaker 1: financial institutions like you know, life insurance for owen K, pensions,
Speaker 1: I ra A, all of these things, which I would
Speaker 1: say is even a good thing to edit every couple
Speaker 1: of years, making sure that you've got the right addresses
Speaker 1: and names and that the accounts are how you want
Speaker 1: them to be. Eric and I, you know, we do
Speaker 1: joint accounts, so whether you want to make sure that
Speaker 1: your accounts are joint or you want to separate those accounts.
Speaker 1: I think it's important that we make sure everybody has
Speaker 1: access to or doesn't have access to, the accounts that
Speaker 1: they need to. Yeah, it can sound really overwhelming when
Speaker 1: you're saying like this and this and this and this,
Speaker 1: but really all you need to do is sit down
Speaker 1: and go through your transactions on your you know, debit
Speaker 1: credit whatever, and and go through those transactions that are
Speaker 1: associated with like auto billing, or have a a number
Speaker 1: or an address associated with them. And that's how you
Speaker 1: will find all of those things. Write them all down
Speaker 1: and then just go through like a checklist and make
Speaker 1: sure they're all up to date. And so you do
Speaker 1: this when whenever you move, and it's just really important
Speaker 1: to to do that, especially if you're changing your name
Speaker 1: after a divorce, you'll need like a new social Security card, passport,
Speaker 1: all those things that you would probably put off, but
Speaker 1: it's death really better to do it sooner rather than later. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And on this website, on the Forbes article, they do
Speaker 1: have a checklist, So if you wanted to grab that
Speaker 1: off of this article, feel free to do that. And
Speaker 1: I do want to recognize that there is while we
Speaker 1: are primarily talking about finances as it relates to big
Speaker 1: life transitions, emotions and well this we will sprinkle this
Speaker 1: throughout this entire episode. But I think it's also important
Speaker 1: to note that our emotional health and our mental health
Speaker 1: play a big role in these big life changes, and
Speaker 1: it can feel really overwhelming and really daunting to be
Speaker 1: doing all of these tasks that were not accustomed to doing.
Speaker 1: It's not a part of our daily life to be
Speaker 1: changing names on accounts, to be tracking all of the
Speaker 1: things that we just listed off, and so to break
Speaker 1: it down into bite sized pieces, it would be recommended.
Speaker 1: And like Jen just said too, here's the steps. Go
Speaker 1: through your transactions, write it down, and one by one
Speaker 1: take those off and make sure that they align with
Speaker 1: what your lifestyle is or is going to be. And
Speaker 1: I will say too that I think setting our hands
Speaker 1: to something, having something to do when we are in
Speaker 1: the midst of something that is maybe really emotionally draining
Speaker 1: or exhausting, or really difficult or has a lot of
Speaker 1: unknowns to it, it can help us to feel like
Speaker 1: we have some power and control somewhere. And so finding
Speaker 1: those small areas like this updating accounts can bring us
Speaker 1: a sense of okay. This is something that I have
Speaker 1: within my power to bear influence on and I'm going
Speaker 1: to do that thing. Um. Yeah, And so these are
Speaker 1: just some things from my own social work perspective, from
Speaker 1: a therapist, counselor perspective that even can help. So we
Speaker 1: do better just facing it then pushing it off, especially
Speaker 1: if we're able to break it down into manageable pieces.
Speaker 1: Definitely listen to Jill on everything she has to say
Speaker 1: on this episode. This is definitely her area of expertise,
Speaker 1: so she's going to have a lot of nuggets of
Speaker 1: wisdom and listeners, folks and the other So the other
Speaker 1: day I had to call my bank actually to get
Speaker 1: an overdraft free taken off because I'm a human and
Speaker 1: we don't keep a lot of money in our our
Speaker 1: mortgage at the account we pay our mortgage from, and
Speaker 1: so I overdraft. And so I was like, this is
Speaker 1: We're in the middle of a pandemic and it's going
Speaker 1: to be I'm gonna be forever on the phone. It
Speaker 1: literally took me less than ten minutes. And so a
Speaker 1: lot of the things on your list that you're going
Speaker 1: to have to change, you may think like, look, this
Speaker 1: is gonna take me all day, I'm just gonna do it,
Speaker 1: wait until tomorrow. A lot of these things will take
Speaker 1: ten minutes, and so just do it like on your
Speaker 1: lunch break, first thing in the morning, or like when
Speaker 1: you get like before you go to bed, something like that.
Speaker 1: Just block out that ten minutes. Some will take longer,
Speaker 1: but get overwhelmed with the length of time that these
Speaker 1: things will take. And it feels super empowering to just
Speaker 1: even check one of these things off to say, okay,
Speaker 1: I did that. To me, these items are clutter and
Speaker 1: it feels like a messy room to me. And as
Speaker 1: we can kind of just start tidying up and clearing
Speaker 1: some of the clutter with these lingering pieces, it really helps. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And then after you so make this list and start
Speaker 1: checking off, then you're going to want to develop a
Speaker 1: comprehensive financial plan. That's the next on the list. So
Speaker 1: your finances have predictably changed a lot. If you're going
Speaker 1: from two incomes or maybe even no incomes, and then
Speaker 1: you're still having to pay the same amount for children,
Speaker 1: You've got college to look forward to, so you have
Speaker 1: to start you have to rethink your entire financial plan.
Speaker 1: And then also if this is divorce, situation as start
Speaker 1: to figure out, like what you're co parenting and you know,
Speaker 1: financial situation, there is going to be too and so
Speaker 1: highly recommend for this getting a fee only financial planner,
Speaker 1: So not one that would deal with your your you know,
Speaker 1: stocks and bonds that they take a commission, but somebody
Speaker 1: who is a fee only fiduciary, so you will pay
Speaker 1: something up front for their advice. That is, you will
Speaker 1: have to go and prepared. But because they're already getting
Speaker 1: paid upfront, they're going to do everything in their power
Speaker 1: so in the time that you have together, they are
Speaker 1: working in your best interests. They're not working off a commission,
Speaker 1: so they're not giving you advice that gets them paid more.
Speaker 1: So definitely when you go to make a financial plan
Speaker 1: like this, not everybody needs, you know, a financial planner,
Speaker 1: but in situations like big life changes where you're figuring
Speaker 1: out stuff like this, that would be the instance where
Speaker 1: one could be in your best interest. Another tip that
Speaker 1: stood out to me on this list, and we're not
Speaker 1: going to go through all seven, just kind of the
Speaker 1: highlights is a team having a team around us. And
Speaker 1: so Jen, you just mentioned this fee only financial advisor,
Speaker 1: and I would also add a counselor or therapist to
Speaker 1: that or and and they also list vocational counselor if
Speaker 1: maybe your transition involves getting back into the workforce after
Speaker 1: years of being out of it and what is that
Speaker 1: going to look like, or career change, which we're going
Speaker 1: to talk about more in the next article. And these
Speaker 1: don't have to be something that we pay for, of course,
Speaker 1: that's kind of what this article is alluding to. But
Speaker 1: I think that we can find these people and these
Speaker 1: experts within our own networks or within our friend groups
Speaker 1: to be able to come around and support us. I mean,
Speaker 1: certainly a counselor you're going to have to pay, and
Speaker 1: I would encourage that, especially if going through a divorce situation.
Speaker 1: That again, like I said, there's a lot of weight
Speaker 1: on us emotionally and mentally, is important that we care
Speaker 1: for ourselves through that time, but also to get kind
Speaker 1: of an interdisciplinary group of people around us. Somebody who
Speaker 1: can help advise us on revamping our resume, someone who
Speaker 1: can be caring for us mentally, maybe somebody who can
Speaker 1: advise us spiritually, friends who we can talk to. All
Speaker 1: of these people are necessary. So while we are primarily
Speaker 1: focusing on finances. We recognize that transition impacts our whole
Speaker 1: personhood and we need to take all of that into
Speaker 1: consideration in order to move forward well towards well being
Speaker 1: in all aspects of our lives. So I love this
Speaker 1: team approach and identifying the people that you're going to
Speaker 1: need to have in your court and your circle around
Speaker 1: you and communicate that to them. Okay, over the next year,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna need this kind of support. And I see
Speaker 1: that you're really good at that. Could you help me
Speaker 1: in this area? And that could even include somebody who
Speaker 1: was good at list making. If that's not you, but
Speaker 1: you know, to kind of change all of your accounts
Speaker 1: and do all of the nitty gritty clutter type stuff.
Speaker 1: But you've got a friend who's phenomenal at that, fantastic,
Speaker 1: have them come over once a week and do this.
Speaker 1: And I will say something about transition that I think
Speaker 1: shocks a lot of people. And this hurts, like, brace yourselves.
Speaker 1: This will sting a little bit too here, But it's
Speaker 1: important to know transition and our adjustment to it takes
Speaker 1: about six to twelve months, which is shocking to a
Speaker 1: lot of people. I think we think, Okay, transition is
Speaker 1: just about as long as change takes. Like I move
Speaker 1: from one place to another and it takes me three
Speaker 1: weeks to figure out where my toothbrushes, and that's about
Speaker 1: the time that it takes me to adjust. No, in reality,
Speaker 1: and depending on the level of acuity of the transition,
Speaker 1: we're more likely looking at about a year of some
Speaker 1: adjustment for that dust to settle and we start to
Speaker 1: feel like, Okay, I can catch my breath again. Yeah.
Speaker 1: That sucks to know, but at the same time, it
Speaker 1: can help us prepare our expectations are grace on ourselves,
Speaker 1: our ability to kind of put people in our court
Speaker 1: to know this is for the long haul, this is
Speaker 1: for the next year at least of my life that
Speaker 1: it's going to take that I need to check off
Speaker 1: all of these things on my list that I need
Speaker 1: this level of support around me. So prepare yourself for
Speaker 1: quite a good amount of transition time. Yeah, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I felt that so so real when having my first child.
Speaker 1: He's just now a year old, and I didn't feel
Speaker 1: like until he was nine months old that I actually
Speaker 1: found my life again, like I found normal again. It
Speaker 1: took like nine months, and so that's I mean, maybe
Speaker 1: a little extreme for some people. But yeah, look, I
Speaker 1: thought that once you had a kid, once you got
Speaker 1: out of the like screaming newborn phase, then you're good.
Speaker 1: Then you're a mom and you and you get it.
Speaker 1: But like that was not my experience at all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: think about it. Everything is adjusting your relationship with your spouse,
Speaker 1: is adjusting your relationship with this new child, relationships with
Speaker 1: friends and extended family members, the way that you approach
Speaker 1: your job, how you handle finances, like, all of it is.
Speaker 1: All of it is changing, and it impacts our whole
Speaker 1: personhood with with any of these transitions that we're talking about.
Speaker 1: So I think that that can help us in knowing
Speaker 1: how to approach and kind of preparing ourselves for a
Speaker 1: bit of a marathon rather than a sprint. Yeah. The
Speaker 1: greatest lesson in this that I've ever been taught is
Speaker 1: have the emotional intelligence to ask for help. You know
Speaker 1: who taught me that, Anthony from Queer Eye. Yes, so
Speaker 1: you love that show. I do. I do The last
Speaker 1: thing on this article that I'm going to say, um,
Speaker 1: and I forgot to mention earlier that it says so
Speaker 1: when we're talking about accounts, also, you need to change
Speaker 1: your beneficiaries. So that was something that I forgot, but
Speaker 1: is to work on your credit score. So depending on
Speaker 1: the camp that you're in on how you feel about
Speaker 1: credit scores. You when you were going through a big
Speaker 1: life change that could include a number of things, you
Speaker 1: will most likely be taking out a new mortgage at
Speaker 1: some point, you could have the need to take out
Speaker 1: a car loan or something, and you will save money
Speaker 1: on those things by having a better credit score. So
Speaker 1: it's better to have it and not need it then
Speaker 1: to not have it and need it. So one way.
Speaker 1: So one way I think of a credit score. It's
Speaker 1: not like I love debt score. It's an antidebt score.
Speaker 1: It's a test for okay, how much how much credit
Speaker 1: can a bank give me and how little of it
Speaker 1: can I use? And so if you think of a
Speaker 1: credit score like that is like a test, then you
Speaker 1: can build your credit faster. So definitely start with getting
Speaker 1: your credit report from all three bureaus and you can
Speaker 1: do that for free once a year from annual Credit
Speaker 1: Report dot com. And then look at the way credit
Speaker 1: scores are waited, and sometimes they can get a little confusing.
Speaker 1: So really your main goal is to just make pay
Speaker 1: off your credit card every month in full. So don't
Speaker 1: worry about your ratio of usage or your oldest accounts
Speaker 1: stuff like that. Just worry about putting a purchase on
Speaker 1: the credit card and paying it all off. And so
Speaker 1: if you do that long enough, then you will build
Speaker 1: a credit score. So just think of that one simple thing.
Speaker 1: I know credit experts are going to hear this and
Speaker 1: they're like, I do so many other things. But if
Speaker 1: you're just looking to do one thing, do that. And
Speaker 1: all of this, as we say, is for entertainment. This
Speaker 1: is our opinion. We're going through articles. We're not lawyers, attorneys,
Speaker 1: financial planners, none of that. We are the frugal friends.
Speaker 1: You know what do. I do a lot of reading
Speaker 1: about personal finance, and so I can't say any more
Speaker 1: than I'm not an expert because for the first year
Speaker 1: the show, that's what I said. But we are not
Speaker 1: certified in any financial we're not divorce attorneys, were not yeah,
Speaker 1: any of those titles. I am a license counselor uh
Speaker 1: so you know you've got you've got some experts on
Speaker 1: the show in different ways, but we're not all things
Speaker 1: to all people. Right, don't give us a one star review.
Speaker 1: For not being divorce attorneys. Please please, please, please and
Speaker 1: thank you. Yes. Okay, So that that's that article. Anything
Speaker 1: else you want to say there, Jen, No, I think
Speaker 1: we're ready to move on to our next Forbes article.
Speaker 1: And so this one is specifically for career change, but
Speaker 1: again we'll make it as blanket as possible, and it's
Speaker 1: preparing financially for a career change. So the last one
Speaker 1: is kind of like what you want to do after,
Speaker 1: and this one is kind of what you want to
Speaker 1: do to prepare. And maybe this is maybe we should
Speaker 1: have switched these, but you know, kind ting, so you
Speaker 1: know me. It basically talks about budgeting at the very
Speaker 1: beginning spoiler spoiler alert in in they didn't use that
Speaker 1: words cephically, but that's what I'm going to say. That
Speaker 1: they meant really understanding your costs and your needs and
Speaker 1: your wants. You really can't make an educated decision about
Speaker 1: what you want to do next unless you know what
Speaker 1: money you spend and what money you bring in and
Speaker 1: whether or not you can make that change or how
Speaker 1: long it's going to take before you are able to
Speaker 1: make that change. So what this literally is is making
Speaker 1: a list of what do I spend Where does my
Speaker 1: money go? Breaking it down on food, shelter, clothing, transportation,
Speaker 1: medical care, basic necessities, entertainment. How much do I just
Speaker 1: spend frivolously and making sure that you understand, yeah, what
Speaker 1: what do I bring in and what do I spend on?
Speaker 1: So that when you look at changing careers or making
Speaker 1: big moves or big life transitions, what am I going
Speaker 1: to need to make sure that I am accounting for?
Speaker 1: What do I need to make sure that that I
Speaker 1: need to make every month in order to continue to
Speaker 1: provide for my needs. Of course, that can include cutting expenses,
Speaker 1: and we'll get to that. If you realize that, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to make as much, or there's gonna
Speaker 1: be a few months of kind of some limbo where
Speaker 1: I might be kind of living off of savings, then okay,
Speaker 1: we can also look at cutting expenses, but we just
Speaker 1: need to start with what are we spending, where's our
Speaker 1: money going? And writing it out, making a visual, Yes,
Speaker 1: you have to make a visual. I cannot tell you
Speaker 1: how many times I sit in my office with a client,
Speaker 1: well not I mean I say in my office and
Speaker 1: I do tell a health online anyhow, people say, oh,
Speaker 1: it's up here, it's up in my mind. I'll think
Speaker 1: about that this week and then week after week. Oh,
Speaker 1: I forgot to do that thing. Yes, because you need
Speaker 1: to write it down. I really, I really care for
Speaker 1: my clients and like that's that's the biggest pet peeve
Speaker 1: there is and it's not even that big of a
Speaker 1: pet peeve. But I do need to tell you that
Speaker 1: you have to write things down. You have to create
Speaker 1: a visual because of so many reasons that I won't
Speaker 1: even get into all of it. But it helps to
Speaker 1: connect our brain wiring. It helps us to realize what
Speaker 1: it is that's even going through our minds. It gets
Speaker 1: us out of our bodies, it doesn't create as much
Speaker 1: clutter in our thought life, and then it just helps
Speaker 1: us to remember what it is that we're even talking
Speaker 1: about or doing. So, yes, write it down and that's
Speaker 1: the budget. That's that visual. Yeah. And so then to
Speaker 1: piggyback off that is to save, save save, that's the
Speaker 1: next one. And so saving once because eight times out
Speaker 1: of ten you're going to see a big life change
Speaker 1: coming and so you're going to be able to save
Speaker 1: and that um, you know, short period or long period,
Speaker 1: what have you. But those two other times times they
Speaker 1: just happened to you and you can't see them coming,
Speaker 1: and so you need to also be saving for that,
Speaker 1: So starting to budget now and starting to beef up
Speaker 1: that emergency fund. And that's why they say three to
Speaker 1: six months of expenses, and depending on how vulnerable your
Speaker 1: life is too big changes, you need to be on
Speaker 1: the bigger you know, the six month side of that,
Speaker 1: just in case. And so and sometimes it's not always
Speaker 1: big changes happening to you that you can't control. Sometimes
Speaker 1: they're big changes you want to walk through. So the
Speaker 1: author was saying that she left her profession to do
Speaker 1: something else she wanted to do, and then savings can
Speaker 1: also allow you to choose to take sabbaticals or periodically
Speaker 1: cut to part time work, and it allowed her to
Speaker 1: change to a new career. So it's not always about
Speaker 1: saving for um, something neutral or something worst case scenario you.
Speaker 1: It's also about saving four big changes that you want
Speaker 1: to happen. It's just good to have that buffer so
Speaker 1: that there is freedom, and we talk about that all
Speaker 1: the time. With a frugal lifestyle, it creates freedom for
Speaker 1: us to be able to do what we want. And
Speaker 1: part of then, as we tease that out, and the
Speaker 1: tangibles of that is that we are cognizant of putting
Speaker 1: away money for the unforeseeable and the foreseeable, but either way,
Speaker 1: we need to have a little bit of a buffer
Speaker 1: so that we can feel the freedom to do that
Speaker 1: and not feel so stuck where we're at. So also
Speaker 1: on here is to make sure that your new career
Speaker 1: path can cover your costs. And you know we mentioned
Speaker 1: that already. That's part of already having the budget, already
Speaker 1: having your expenses listed out, to be tracking your spending,
Speaker 1: to be cutting your expenses, and then make sure, all right,
Speaker 1: is what I have set my sights on next, whether
Speaker 1: that's core ear or moving or you name it, kids
Speaker 1: moving out of the house. Can this new change will
Speaker 1: I still have these costs covered as a result of that?
Speaker 1: And if not, that could mean okay, further slashing the budget.
Speaker 1: That could mean okay, that means that I can't make
Speaker 1: this transition for a couple more months yet, or I
Speaker 1: need to get a little bit more creative on where
Speaker 1: my big spending is, maybe that's housing or transportation, And
Speaker 1: are there is there some wiggle room there in what
Speaker 1: you're choosing to do on kind of your four pillars
Speaker 1: and being able to decrease those expenses. Yeah, the last
Speaker 1: thing that I liked from this article, and I think
Speaker 1: it's just super wise, not just like financially, but in
Speaker 1: general it says to keep a toe in your old profession.
Speaker 1: But I think in general this could it just means
Speaker 1: keeping your options open. So when I changed my career,
Speaker 1: it was right at when the my licensure was up,
Speaker 1: and so I had the option to save a couple
Speaker 1: hundred bucks and just not renew my license because I
Speaker 1: was switching to a new career. But I chose to
Speaker 1: renew that license and invest you know, that money into
Speaker 1: that just to keep my options open. And then I
Speaker 1: was listening to the radio this morning and this girl
Speaker 1: was moving in with her boyfriend, and she made sure
Speaker 1: that she had enough money in her savings account just
Speaker 1: in case she needed to break that lease or leave
Speaker 1: or you know, pay some money to keep her options open.
Speaker 1: So it's having that savings and having that wisdom to know,
Speaker 1: how what do I need to like keep from my
Speaker 1: old life just to keep my options open for a
Speaker 1: little while. You don't need to like straddle the then
Speaker 1: and now forever, but until you're sure that this life
Speaker 1: chain is solidified and you're you're good. So, like Jill said,
Speaker 1: six months to a year, then just try to keep
Speaker 1: your options open as much as feasibly possible. And that's
Speaker 1: that's the age old wisdom of don't put you all
Speaker 1: your eggs in one basket, right, and which is why
Speaker 1: it can be helpful for us to already have some
Speaker 1: side hustles and to be engaging and maybe even different
Speaker 1: types of hobbies because who knows where those things can
Speaker 1: go from there, or to even keep you afloat during
Speaker 1: a big transition again, whether foreseeable or unforeseen. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I mean there is something we can see every episode.
Speaker 1: You see it coming, you just don't know exactly when
Speaker 1: it's the that's right, it's time for the best minute
Speaker 1: of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and
Speaker 1: his name is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage.
Speaker 1: Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have
Speaker 1: to pay that bill anymore. That's bill Buffalo Bills, Bill Clan.
Speaker 1: This is the bill of the week. Hey ladies, this
Speaker 1: is Rika from New Jersey. I just wanted to take
Speaker 1: a minute to say thank you so much for providing
Speaker 1: us with great content. I truly enjoy your show and
Speaker 1: look forward to listening each and every week. On that note,
Speaker 1: I wanted to let you both know that my bill
Speaker 1: the week includes not one, but two different credit cards
Speaker 1: that I was able to pay off thanks to the
Speaker 1: stimulus check that came in earlier this month. I'm blessed
Speaker 1: to still be working during this pandemic and earning my
Speaker 1: regular pay, so I made sure the money was spent
Speaker 1: wisely to help with my lingering debt, which unfortunately I'm
Speaker 1: still working towards paying off each month, but taking it
Speaker 1: day by day. Anyways, I figured you guys would be proud.
Speaker 1: I just want to let you know that I couldn't
Speaker 1: have done it without you, so thanks so much for
Speaker 1: always keeping me on track, Stay safe and be well. Bye.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, we are so proud doing that thing
Speaker 1: with my hands doing little celebration victory dance for you
Speaker 1: and the YouTube video. Thanks so much for calling in
Speaker 1: and sharing your right. We are proud of you, proud
Speaker 1: for you, so happy to be with you on this journey.
Speaker 1: And my goodness, what a good use of some extra
Speaker 1: unexpected money that has come in and the ability to
Speaker 1: pay off debt with that and not need that to
Speaker 1: cover groceries or other expenses, and yet still make a
Speaker 1: wise choice with it. And it sounds like it is
Speaker 1: creating so much freedom for you that we can all
Speaker 1: just live vicariously through and hopefully motivate ourselves to make
Speaker 1: wise decisions with our money in whatever stage of life
Speaker 1: we're in right now. So well done, Erica from New Jersey.
Speaker 1: Leave us your bill of the week at Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcast dot com slash bill and we will celebrate with
Speaker 1: you whatever that bill is. And now it's time for
Speaker 1: m M. Yes. So we are going to share with
Speaker 1: you some real life realness. And I'm gonna snap because
Speaker 1: I've as you know, I've been watching rewatching all the
Speaker 1: seasons of Where I So I'm like very very into
Speaker 1: this realness right now, very snappy. Yeah, And we are
Speaker 1: going to share with you kind of how we financially
Speaker 1: navigated a few big life changes or you know, one
Speaker 1: or a few however comes up, however the conversation comes.
Speaker 1: So my big life change that's happening currently is a
Speaker 1: move to Florida. So for those of you who know
Speaker 1: or don't know, here it is. I am, this is
Speaker 1: Jill moving with my husband Eric, from Pennsylvania to Florida
Speaker 1: because I talk enough about how I really can't stand
Speaker 1: the cold weather in Pennsylvania and so we're just doing it.
Speaker 1: We're going to move to Florida. We have bought a house,
Speaker 1: and we are less than thirty days away from moving
Speaker 1: into that house. So we're kind of a little bit
Speaker 1: smack dab in the middle of a transition. I know
Speaker 1: that there's like, and that's the funny thing about transitions,
Speaker 1: that there's so many different points to it, so many
Speaker 1: different almost middle points of transition. So we're kind of
Speaker 1: in in some of that middle and knowing that there's
Speaker 1: a lot ahead but some of that I can't do yet,
Speaker 1: and just kind of preparing myself mentally and emotionally for that.
Speaker 1: For me, this is an exciting transition. So I think
Speaker 1: it's also worth noting this is this is a side note. Sorry,
Speaker 1: I can't help myself what kind of life transition you're in,
Speaker 1: whether that is perceived by you as positive or negative
Speaker 1: or a bit of both, and to not let other
Speaker 1: people dictate what that is for you. I know sometimes
Speaker 1: we can think, like, oh, having a baby, that you
Speaker 1: just must be so excited and for some people it's
Speaker 1: well yes and no, or you name it. In any
Speaker 1: kind of life transition, we can assume what that is
Speaker 1: for somebody else, but it may not be so recognizing that, yes,
Speaker 1: we have exciting life changes, and we also have really awful, terrible, traumatic,
Speaker 1: crisis filled transitions that happen as well, and and the
Speaker 1: way that we approach either one of those does require
Speaker 1: different things, different levels of support. Anyhow, for me, moving
Speaker 1: to Florida is exciting, so I recognize that, and I
Speaker 1: allow myself to kind of feed off of that excitement
Speaker 1: and the hope of things that is to come and
Speaker 1: starting to plan for what life is going to look
Speaker 1: like then. And that has been enjoyable and I think
Speaker 1: has helped with some of the unknowns, something that I've
Speaker 1: also done. And I am a list maker. Thankfully this
Speaker 1: comes naturally to me. I like it, I find it helpful.
Speaker 1: But I have created a Google sheets form of all
Speaker 1: of the things that need to happen, and I've color
Speaker 1: color coded it. It's funny because I'm not incredibly type A.
Speaker 1: This is a little sound very type to you. I
Speaker 1: am a fly by the state of my pants with
Speaker 1: a color coded list kind of person. Everything about you.
Speaker 1: Thanks same to you. So I have created like a
Speaker 1: what needs to happen before we move, and I think
Speaker 1: that's purple. Some things that are more finance related or
Speaker 1: selling of things, and that's in yellow, and then things
Speaker 1: that need to happen after the move. I don't know.
Speaker 1: That is probably like some other fun color. And then
Speaker 1: more long term things that I'm hoping for because I'm
Speaker 1: realizing all these things are flying through my head constantly
Speaker 1: of like, oh, I gotta do this, and it might
Speaker 1: be so small and minor, but it's something that's going
Speaker 1: to need to get done, and now I've got a
Speaker 1: place to put it. But it's also not oh, here's everything.
Speaker 1: I've got it separated out as far as when does
Speaker 1: that thing need to happen, so that when something pops
Speaker 1: into my head but it doesn't need to happen for
Speaker 1: like six months from now, fine, it's on the list.
Speaker 1: And at least then I can say, and this is
Speaker 1: a therapy term containment, so that I don't get sucked
Speaker 1: into this vortex of clutter that's going on in my head.
Speaker 1: I can know that's on the list. I don't need
Speaker 1: to think about that right now. I will do that
Speaker 1: when on the list when the time comes, and that
Speaker 1: really helps to be able to inhale exhale throughout this process.
Speaker 1: But yes, a list lightened down, that's a great, great
Speaker 1: tip I am trying to make. I so I do
Speaker 1: consider myself type A and I'm currently trying to figure
Speaker 1: out a method for list making because I have so
Speaker 1: many projects that I'm working on at a given time.
Speaker 1: I am really cluttered with places that I'm keeping them
Speaker 1: all down, so I'm trying to figure out how to
Speaker 1: best contain them. And I think I've been trying like
Speaker 1: different project management apps, and I was like, maybe a
Speaker 1: Google sheet is just where you need to be, you
Speaker 1: know me, I'm just all about making my own Yes,
Speaker 1: you do for me, So this is kind of like
Speaker 1: a two parter or even a three partner. I don't know.
Speaker 1: So I went through a few career changes, and actually,
Speaker 1: when we were thinking about this lightning around, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't have nothing big has happened in my life.
Speaker 1: And then was like, wait, you did a total one
Speaker 1: eight career change and I didn't believe you forgot about it.
Speaker 1: Seems like another life. So I mentioned earlier that I
Speaker 1: made a career change. I was a licensed acupuncturist for
Speaker 1: over five years. That's what my masters is in I,
Speaker 1: and that was what I wanted to do for the
Speaker 1: rest of my life. I had very very much had
Speaker 1: my dream job, and so after paying off our debt
Speaker 1: and getting into personal finance, I realized that that is
Speaker 1: also something I was super passionate about. And it became
Speaker 1: this this mental transition from Okay, I have my dream job,
Speaker 1: I'm set to I have I peaked at twenty five,
Speaker 1: and then discovering this new thing and realizing, okay, maybe
Speaker 1: I haven't peaked, maybe there's more for me. But it
Speaker 1: was this very I had a big existential crisis when
Speaker 1: I moved from becoming an acupuncturist to becoming a full
Speaker 1: time writer and so I kind of but I did
Speaker 1: it in stages. So I initially turned down a job
Speaker 1: to write for the Penny Corder, and then maybe a
Speaker 1: year or two later is when I accepted it, because
Speaker 1: that's how long it kind of took me to mentally
Speaker 1: get there. And so also, don't let people tell you
Speaker 1: how long you need to make your transition. Like I
Speaker 1: said before, you definitely don't want to live with one
Speaker 1: ft in the past and one ft in the present.
Speaker 1: But if it takes you a while to make a transition,
Speaker 1: then let like give yourself the grace to take that time.
Speaker 1: I needed the time, and I'm so happy that I
Speaker 1: did leave my job, and I don't regret those years
Speaker 1: that I worked there at all. But I've my world
Speaker 1: has been opened up so much by making this change.
Speaker 1: And it wasn't a scary financial change for us. It
Speaker 1: was actually really good financially, so that one was more
Speaker 1: of an emotional change. But then a year into it,
Speaker 1: they laid off half of their staff and I made
Speaker 1: another change to a freelance financial writer, So that was
Speaker 1: more of an unexpected and negative change because I lost
Speaker 1: my health insurance and I was maybe four or six
Speaker 1: weeks away from giving birth, so that was and so
Speaker 1: that wasn't just a big change where we had to
Speaker 1: do a lot of things like you know, paperwork to
Speaker 1: get on a different insurance um and thankfully Travis had
Speaker 1: the option of health insurance through his work, but we
Speaker 1: were also in a time crunch to do it because
Speaker 1: we had to get that whole thing switched over before
Speaker 1: I gave birth. So I would say I learned a
Speaker 1: lot about taking the time to make your changes, but
Speaker 1: also it can be done very quickly if you needed
Speaker 1: to be done. I love how you maintained both acupuncture
Speaker 1: and financial personal finance writing and even worked under another
Speaker 1: company for a time before kind of finding your feet
Speaker 1: to do it yourself. I think that that was such
Speaker 1: a wise, bootstrapping way of doing it, and that doesn't
Speaker 1: always work out for everyone, but it is something to
Speaker 1: keep in mind of, what are the steps that I
Speaker 1: could take to get to this goal rather than just
Speaker 1: completely diving in headfirst. If that feels like, oh, that's
Speaker 1: a big risk or that could mean a lot of sacrifice,
Speaker 1: is there a way to kind of scale it back
Speaker 1: a bit and slowly but surely make that shift. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a great point because when I left acupuncture, so
Speaker 1: after we paid off our debt, we did ten five
Speaker 1: and one year life and financial plans. So we looked
Speaker 1: at where we wanted to be in a year from
Speaker 1: now out five and ten, and we we looked at
Speaker 1: all the areas of our life and our finances that
Speaker 1: it would take to get there. Has that changed completely,
Speaker 1: It's changed completely, But without that initial planning then I
Speaker 1: wouldn't have been able to see those steps on the
Speaker 1: journey as actually steps to get to where I want
Speaker 1: to be, which is working for myself. So this is
Speaker 1: actually being a freelance writer for other websites is still
Speaker 1: a step on the journey to me working full time
Speaker 1: in frugal Friends and modern frugality. And so I took
Speaker 1: the Financial Freedom Planner, which is a planner I sell
Speaker 1: a modern frugality and we went through that, and so
Speaker 1: I was able to see, like, do I want to
Speaker 1: be doing the same job in the same place at
Speaker 1: the same pay for ten more years and that is
Speaker 1: what's and and that's the trigger. That was the question
Speaker 1: I needed to ask to start making the change. And
Speaker 1: so that looked like, Okay, I'd like to work under
Speaker 1: somebody in this new profession. And then I view the
Speaker 1: firing as a blessing because who knows if I would
Speaker 1: have had the courage to leave on my own to
Speaker 1: start freelancing if I wasn't pushed. So so that was
Speaker 1: just a blessing to be pushed into that. And but
Speaker 1: it's just another step on. Okay, so now I'm at home,
Speaker 1: I'm where I want to be, but I still can
Speaker 1: get other income from people who have it while I'm
Speaker 1: working on building my own So financial planning is like
Speaker 1: goal planning is so important, and who would have thought
Speaker 1: that that would now be perceived as a blessing for you,
Speaker 1: which I think is something I want to highlight in
Speaker 1: what you're saying for anybody who is in a difficult
Speaker 1: transition right now, maybe forced or unseen, or is a
Speaker 1: really difficult type of transition to hold on to. Hope,
Speaker 1: certainly do some of these things that can help to
Speaker 1: put some power back back into yourself and on your
Speaker 1: plate and be caring for yourself in the different ways
Speaker 1: that we've talked about, but also recognize that your perspective
Speaker 1: on your situation right now will most likely be different one, two, three,
Speaker 1: five years from now, and and we're not quite sure
Speaker 1: how that story is going to unfold, but it can
Speaker 1: be true that the best is yet to come for
Speaker 1: you even as you're walking through something very difficult. So yeah,
Speaker 1: it's so. I mean, it's easy to look back now
Speaker 1: and say that was such a great thing. It did
Speaker 1: not feel that way at the time, but how incredible
Speaker 1: that you can say, Wow, I'm I'm grateful for the
Speaker 1: push that that gave me and what I have developed
Speaker 1: into as a result of that. Resilience does come if
Speaker 1: we let it out of very difficult situations. And so
Speaker 1: if you are able to push through to take the
Speaker 1: necessary steps to not lose hope of enjoyable life and
Speaker 1: well being, you know, in in seasons it comes and goes,
Speaker 1: you will build resilience. Part of that is gratitude, choosing
Speaker 1: gratitude in that process. So well said what that's a
Speaker 1: great ending to this episode. There it is. Well, guys,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for listening to us and for your
Speaker 1: suggestions on these episodes. We really hope that this was
Speaker 1: helpful for our frugal friends community and everyone else who's
Speaker 1: just finding us now. And we want to thank you
Speaker 1: so much for your kind reviews on iTunes and Stitcher
Speaker 1: like this one. So it is it happens to be
Speaker 1: five stars and they say love it. It comes from
Speaker 1: coupon Kate. This podcast is keeping my spirits up during
Speaker 1: this crazy quarantine time while teaching me some frugal tips
Speaker 1: I haven't done yet. I love the episode on side
Speaker 1: Hustles because it's not the same as everyone else's lip us.
Speaker 1: You girls rock and I'm addicted. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: recommend this to my friends, Thanks so much coupon Kate.
Speaker 1: It's so good to hear that we're providing some refreshing
Speaker 1: content on even topics that are talked about so often.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's encouraging. And and these reviews for those
Speaker 1: of you who have listened to a handful of episodes
Speaker 1: and really understand the vibe to be able to give
Speaker 1: a review, that is helpful for others to know what
Speaker 1: to expect out of these types of yeah, out of
Speaker 1: our podcast. Yeah, don't think everything that is said or
Speaker 1: needs to be said has been said, because sometimes really
Speaker 1: good reviews get pushed to the bottom and we need
Speaker 1: them said again. So think about what got you to
Speaker 1: listen to this show and just say it again, because
Speaker 1: it really does help, especially with starting to get advertisers
Speaker 1: on the show so that I don't have to this
Speaker 1: one thing on my plate taken off. That helps us
Speaker 1: a lot, and it does will to continue to provide
Speaker 1: this for free. Yeah, ever ever want to charge our listeners,
Speaker 1: we will, I mean, we will never charge for this.
Speaker 1: And we just want to make some money so that
Speaker 1: I can stop freelancing. Remember steps steps in my life,
Speaker 1: help me get there, help me. Yeah, And so also
Speaker 1: we thank our friends who share these episodes, because that
Speaker 1: also helps me get to the next stage in my life.
Speaker 1: So we are rewarding all of our friends who share
Speaker 1: and review, and every five tags and reviews we get,
Speaker 1: we give away a ten dollar Amazon gift card. So
Speaker 1: keep doing that. Help me, Just help me. And if
Speaker 1: you do leave us a review on iTunes or stitchers,
Speaker 1: send us a screenshot of that review to Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. Back us on social media.
Speaker 1: Do both you'll be entered into a drawing possibly get
Speaker 1: in to another Amazon DV card. Who whoo bye byes.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced, edited and mixed by Eric Sirian.
Speaker 1: I really wanted to mention another queer Eye story during
Speaker 1: the episode of feel like I've made enough Queer Eye references,
Speaker 1: but I was just rewatching season five and it's the
Speaker 1: episode with the guy who who's he's in a wheelchair
Speaker 1: and he runs a nonprofit called Disabled but not Really,
Speaker 1: And before he was paralyzed, he was this like horrible person,
Speaker 1: and then after being in the wheelchair for a while,
Speaker 1: he like decided to like change his life for like
Speaker 1: him and his daughter, and so now he was this
Speaker 1: like fitness professional in a wheelchair. He can climb a
Speaker 1: rope with his arms in his wheelchair, with his wheelchair
Speaker 1: shopped him. And so he's just this completely different person.
Speaker 1: And now he views when he got shot and paralyzed
Speaker 1: as a blessing because it changed his life and he
Speaker 1: is a completely different person, better person. People are amazing.
Speaker 1: People are absolutely amazing. But that's the thing. I think
Speaker 1: there's choices in that because the same thing could happen
Speaker 1: to another person and it just spirals into complete destruction.
Speaker 1: And I think when we talk about, oh, I want tangibles,
Speaker 1: I want tangibles, and just talking theory isn't enough. Well,
Speaker 1: theory and perspective and what we choose to set our
Speaker 1: minds on does actually really shift the trajectory of our
Speaker 1: lives too, Like right, like choosing to to do something different,
Speaker 1: to change his life, to choose gratitude, to have the
Speaker 1: perspective that this awful thing that happened to him physically
Speaker 1: is a blessing. That's amazing. Yeah, And he was able,
Speaker 1: he was even able to confront the man who shot
Speaker 1: him and like at the end give him hug and
Speaker 1: thank him and like, yeah, that transition took two years,
Speaker 1: Like he spent two years just lying in bed feeling
Speaker 1: sorry for himself, but realized the sooner that you make
Speaker 1: a change, the more time you have in life to
Speaker 1: enjoy that that change and that that positivity. I oh,
Speaker 1: I just get goose bumps. M wow on that note,