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Speaker 1: You've prayed and prayed one thing. According to this email,

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Speaker 1: you've prayed and prayed that he changes his mind.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, what's up everybody?

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast. And uh, this is man.

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Speaker 1: What episode is it? Bernie? Mmm? Sometimes I have to

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Speaker 1: sit in here and act like like, look up my

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Speaker 1: podcast on let's see two hundred and terrible two hundred

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Speaker 1: and six six, two undred and six. Welcome to the podcast, Bernie.

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Speaker 1: Calculate how long have you been on the podcast? Years?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Years, Man, what a privilege. It's been a fun ride.

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Speaker 1: Dude. You I love having you on here because you

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Speaker 1: you have such wise answers, such wise counsel. And that's

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Speaker 1: what we do, is answer people's questions. But we usually,

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Speaker 1: like we just did, spend about at least thirty minutes

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Speaker 1: when you get here working through our own questions that

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Speaker 1: we have because we answer your questions on this podcast.

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Speaker 1: But then we spend pretty good amount of time answering

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Speaker 1: each others. And dude, you just told me you've had

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Speaker 1: like a major life switch. Kind kind of exaggerated a

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Speaker 1: little dramatic on that, but but yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think minor shift with major impacts you could say that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so from one book, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, one book, Habits of the Household. If you haven't

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Speaker 3: picked it up and read it, it's really really great.

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Speaker 3: It's a Christian based book around the habits that we

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Speaker 3: call normal things that we do throughout our days, throughout

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Speaker 3: our weeks that our kids as we're raising them and

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Speaker 3: we're kind of shaping what our households look like. It's

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Speaker 3: really an opportunity of formation for these kids. And I

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Speaker 3: don't think a lot of times we forget that even

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Speaker 3: the smallest things, the smallest rhythms are impacting them on

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Speaker 3: a deep, deep level, and just kind of being aware

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Speaker 3: of that. And then it was a great guide in

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Speaker 3: just practical things, because sometimes we get caught up on

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Speaker 3: these lofty ideas of loving God, serving people, reading the Bible,

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Speaker 3: but how does that actually look when it comes to

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Speaker 3: bedtime routine or screen time limits or food that we eat.

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Speaker 3: And so it does a really good job of kind

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Speaker 3: of helping guide some of those rhythms, and it's been

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Speaker 3: really great.

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Speaker 1: So, dude, so many people I think are out of rhythm,

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Speaker 1: and there's a lot of factors that cause it. In America,

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Speaker 1: people that are listening internationally might not understand this problem.

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Speaker 1: We have but it's called youth sports, and it is

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Speaker 1: I don't know, do you agree. I mean, it's horrible.

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Speaker 1: I think that our kids should be in sports. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and my kids all you know, both of them are

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Speaker 1: almost at all three, both of them are. But we

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Speaker 1: have to have limits on that and it cannot rule

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Speaker 1: our lives, it cannot rule our schedules.

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Speaker 3: I one hundred percent agree. I also think that even

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Speaker 3: in the boundaries that you put sports, in competitive sports,

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Speaker 3: there has to be an understanding of what is the

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Speaker 3: purpose because there's a certain amount of pressure and like

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Speaker 3: competitive nature that we can put on these kids at

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Speaker 3: such a young age, and it's detrimental. It's it's more

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Speaker 3: detrimental than it is beneficial. Teaching them to work as

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Speaker 3: a team, to put other people first, to kind of

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Speaker 3: push through adversity, those things are really great, Yes, but man,

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Speaker 3: I've just seen so many kids, and from coaches as well,

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Speaker 3: just get really.

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Speaker 1: Just hurt.

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's the big word, or the best word

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Speaker 3: to use. They just get hurt. And those are wounds

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Speaker 3: that I feel like they're going to be working through

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Speaker 3: for a long time. So I think, yeah, competitive sports

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Speaker 3: dictating our time and just the impact it has on kids.

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Speaker 3: I think the biggest thing that we've done this fall,

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Speaker 3: like I was telling you earlier, is somewhat unintentionally, but

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Speaker 3: somewhat after reading this book and talking through it, we've

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Speaker 3: we've slowed down. And it's amazing in our cult. It's

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Speaker 3: amazing in our culture that that it's actually a counterculture

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Speaker 3: thing to wait, slow down. You have family dinner and

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Speaker 3: you cook food at your house together, and you eat

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Speaker 3: together and you talk. And I'll be the first to

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Speaker 3: admit in seasons past that was not us. And we

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Speaker 3: have just kind of grabbed a hold of this, and

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Speaker 3: I really hope we can hang on to it because

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Speaker 3: I'm already seeing some of the benefits from us just

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Speaker 3: being able to slow down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we have somehow gone into a culture now where

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Speaker 1: we say, man, my kids are, I make them go

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Speaker 1: be in sports because they need that for their leadership

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Speaker 1: and development and social skills and athletic skills. And they

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Speaker 1: cannot miss a practice. They cannot quit. You know how

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Speaker 1: we are as Americans, We're fighters and we don't quit.

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Speaker 1: So once you start something, you don't quit. And you

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Speaker 1: need to be in in team sports and you need

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Speaker 1: to compete. And we've gotten into that somehow, and that

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Speaker 1: somehow is now crept into Sunday mornings and we're no

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Speaker 1: longer a culture at all that says we're gonna go

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Speaker 1: to church as a family on Sunday mornings. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: we're gonna have dinner together around a table as a

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Speaker 1: family in our house. That's not a priority. It sounds nice,

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Speaker 1: but it's definitely not because team sports and jobs win.

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Speaker 1: I'm not, by any means saying that you cannot church

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Speaker 1: and you cannot skip family dinner. I'm not saying that.

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Speaker 1: I'm just saying where does it lie in the priority list?

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Speaker 1: And it's very interesting, and I'm right there with you

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Speaker 1: that I have gone through decades of this myself, and

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Speaker 1: I know you said you have to, but I think

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Speaker 1: I think it might be time for us just to

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Speaker 1: have a shift in priorities and understanding of what might

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Speaker 1: be really important.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. From my childhood, I remember the normals. I remember

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Speaker 3: what was the normal rhythm, not the exceptions. So if

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Speaker 3: the normal rhythm is you skip church no matter what

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Speaker 3: for a sports and that is where the priority is.

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Speaker 3: When the kids are older, that's what they're going to remember.

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Speaker 3: That's what we are teaching them what is a normal rhythm,

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Speaker 3: and by our actions and by our leadership and our

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Speaker 3: discipleship of them really forming who they're going to be

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Speaker 3: and what their priorities, what they're going to look back

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Speaker 3: on when they're our age and say, my household, this

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Speaker 3: was normal and so so. Yeah, I think we have

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Speaker 3: we have the opportunity to recognize it. But you have

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Speaker 3: to know in anybody out there who's listening, who's like, man,

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Speaker 3: you guys are talking crazy right now in our culture.

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Speaker 3: Yet you will be fighting against the world. I've been

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Speaker 3: in Romans twelve too, like Deep Dive recently, and I mean,

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Speaker 3: do not conform to the pattern of this world. You're

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Speaker 3: you're going to be fighting against the world if you

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Speaker 3: try to slow down, if you try to say no

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Speaker 3: to like more opportunities and more options. If you say

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Speaker 3: no to those things in order to preserve your family

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Speaker 3: mule time, to preserve your connection with your wifetime going,

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Speaker 3: it's going to be a fight. If you limit the

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Speaker 3: amount of time you're on your smartphone or social media,

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Speaker 3: you are going to be fighting against the culture. It's

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Speaker 3: not going to be easy. So don't expect like, oh well,

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Speaker 3: listen to Graan, Jey Bernie and then I just did

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Speaker 3: this and it's like, oh, life is great. It's like, no,

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Speaker 3: it's going to be a fight, but there are things

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Speaker 3: worth fighting for and I think this is one of them.

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Speaker 1: So that's amazing. Man. You always come in here with

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Speaker 1: some kind of great knowledge that I need, that I

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Speaker 1: need to hear, and I appreciate that. Man. We answer

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Speaker 1: questions on here. Whatever you have. It could be about

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Speaker 1: any topic. You email us Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot

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Speaker 1: com and put it in the queue here.

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Speaker 3: And can I say something real quick about these question yea,

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Speaker 3: because I was kind of thinking about coming up here

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Speaker 3: and meet with you and the questions that people send,

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Speaker 3: and I know that we've had some questions that are

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Speaker 3: very similar in nature, and I started to think, is

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Speaker 3: there anybody out there who may have a question that

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Speaker 3: is so I don't want to say bizarre, but that

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Speaker 3: is so uncommon that they don't want to send it

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Speaker 3: in because they haven't they have It's easy to send

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Speaker 3: something in about a relationship and a breakup and a

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Speaker 3: because maybe you've heard that on the podcast before. But

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Speaker 3: I'm going to just challenge anybody out there if you

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Speaker 3: if you have a question that just feels like, man,

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Speaker 3: I can't put that out there because nobody's ever said

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Speaker 3: anything like that. That's what we want, really like, we

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Speaker 3: really want because there may be another person out there

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Speaker 3: wishing they could ask the same question and get some

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Speaker 3: advice and some guidance. And so if one of you

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Speaker 3: guys could just think of that thing you're going through,

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Speaker 3: you may feel alone, but you're probably not, so put

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Speaker 3: it out there.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, that's a great it's a great point. And

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Speaker 1: the opposite is also true if you've heard the question

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Speaker 1: so many times but you have a different way of

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Speaker 1: saying it. By by all means, send it in because

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Speaker 1: we have a tendency. Well, first of all, we're going

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Speaker 1: to get We could probably give you a tweak on

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Speaker 1: the answer for sure, because we don't have notes in

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Speaker 1: front of us, and then s Secondly, so many people

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Speaker 1: fail to wreck fail to hear their own story in

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Speaker 1: someone else's as much as you do hear your story

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Speaker 1: in someone else's. There are the same group of people

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Speaker 1: that are like, well, my problem is different, like this girl,

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Speaker 1: Me and this girl were different. This girl that ghost

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Speaker 1: to me right now, that's like I'm so heartbroken. It's

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Speaker 1: different than all the other stories you read, Granger, my

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Speaker 1: story is different, and so you could ask that again

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Speaker 1: and then burning and I'll just reassure you maybe it's

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Speaker 1: not that different. Maybe as humans were not as separate

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Speaker 1: as you think we might be. That's good speaking of

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Speaker 1: Let's get to the next question. YEP. Subject line here says,

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Speaker 1: how do I honor my father when I don't respect him?

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Speaker 1: You've probably heard something like this since. Hey, Granger, I'm

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Speaker 1: fifty three years old. I'm a woman who was raised

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Speaker 1: by an abusive father. As time passed, I have forgiven

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Speaker 1: him and our relationship was mended, but have always continued

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Speaker 1: to be guarded with him. I recently found out about

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Speaker 1: something that he's done within the last ten years with

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Speaker 1: my step sister, who is now deceased, and it's completely

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Speaker 1: changed the way I feel about him. I've really been

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Speaker 1: struggling with how I can honor him according to the

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Speaker 1: Bible when I have zero respect for him. I want

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Speaker 1: to do the right thing, but I really need help

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Speaker 1: with this one. Thanks so much for a time, Tina.

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Speaker 1: So awesome, Tina, thank you for emailing and being vulnerable

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Speaker 1: in this situation. I'm going to recap here. You're fifty three.

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Speaker 1: You're raised by an abusive father, but as time passed,

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Speaker 1: you forgave him, and it sounds like things got better.

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Speaker 1: And then recently you found out some stuff. After you

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Speaker 1: forgave him, after you thought that things were mended and

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Speaker 1: were better, you found out he really was the same

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Speaker 1: snake that you always thought that he was. Bible also

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Speaker 1: says a leopard doesn't lose its spots. So that's what

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Speaker 1: happened here, and now you're struggling, and so let's walk

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Speaker 1: through it. First of all, your forgiveness, and understandably, your

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Speaker 1: forgiveness was conditional upon him not messing up again. So

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Speaker 1: it's like, hey, dad, I forgive you as long as

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Speaker 1: you don't ever do this again, and then he did.

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Speaker 1: I don't blame you, because all of us at some

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Speaker 1: level have a condition to our forgiveness, because we don't

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Speaker 1: have perfect forgiveness. But then the other thing is you've

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Speaker 1: recognized that forgiveness doesn't mean trust. Forgiving someone doesn't mean

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Speaker 1: now you trust them. I forgive you, now I trust you.

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Speaker 1: That's false. You don't have to trust. You can forgive,

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Speaker 1: which is a selfless gift that you give them as

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Speaker 1: you're releasing that from yourself. But that doesn't mean I'm

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Speaker 1: going to trust you. You're still a rattlesnake and you

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Speaker 1: can still bite me. And you kind of got that

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Speaker 1: in the first paragraph when you said, but I've always

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Speaker 1: continued to be guarded with him, then you found out

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Speaker 1: he really screwed up. Now, I don't think any of

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Speaker 1: that's part of your question. I'm just kind of establishing

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Speaker 1: the situation. None of that's your question. Your question is

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Speaker 1: how could I honor him? Because the Bible says honored

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Speaker 1: your mother and father. You're saying, how in the world

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Speaker 1: could I do that? And that's the question, and I

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Speaker 1: think it's a good one, and I think a lot

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Speaker 1: of people are could be in a situation like this.

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Speaker 1: And so without having any notes or special quotes or

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Speaker 1: even the Bible besides my phone sitting in front of me,

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Speaker 1: I would say, what do we think it means to honor?

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Speaker 1: What do we think the Bible meant by that? Because

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Speaker 1: surely it would be all encompassing. It didn't say honor

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Speaker 1: your mother and father unless they did this, And it also,

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Speaker 1: of course the Bible that any inspired writer of the

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Speaker 1: Bible would understand that that's not a universal thing. That

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Speaker 1: parents are going to be good. Okay, so we know

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Speaker 1: those two things, like that's just common sense. So as

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Speaker 1: we're kind of unpacking this and building this story, and

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Speaker 1: I'm trying to show y'all that what Bernie and I

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Speaker 1: are doing it, we're not we don't have special revelation.

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Speaker 1: We're just gonna slowly, let's just talk through it and

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Speaker 1: unpack it. And so I would say, probably in the

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Speaker 1: same way that you could honor a soldier for what

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Speaker 1: he has done and your father because he is your

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Speaker 1: father by identity, by biological purposes, he's your father. Just

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Speaker 1: like a soldier would be a soldier and participate in

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Speaker 1: some battle and we would honor him or her for

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Speaker 1: the battle the soldier, but that doesn't mean that we

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Speaker 1: take that soldier's personal life and accept it and trust

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Speaker 1: it and love all of it. Right, what they have done.

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Speaker 1: And we see this happening now when they're taking down

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Speaker 1: statues because they're like, we honored him at one time,

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Speaker 1: but then we found out some dark secret about him,

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Speaker 1: so we're tearing down the statue. And I think that's

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Speaker 1: when it comes there's a difference between the honor for

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Speaker 1: who they are and what they represent. To you and

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Speaker 1: the person that they are and what they have done

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Speaker 1: in their life. I think we have to be able

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Speaker 1: to separate that. We think this is Tina. Tina.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so, Tina, thank you for sending this in. You

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Speaker 3: did what I just kind of asked. I didn't know

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Speaker 3: this question was coming. So I don't think that abusive

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Speaker 3: fathers are questions that we hear very often. But I know,

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Speaker 3: whether it is physical or verbal, emotional, I know that

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Speaker 3: there are a ton of abusive fathers out there, and

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Speaker 3: one you don't deserve that at all. Nobody does. If

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Speaker 3: you're listening and you're in this situation, there's nothing you've

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Speaker 3: done to deserve the abuse that you're getting. It's not

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Speaker 3: right in any capacity. They are taking advantage of their

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Speaker 3: power and their position, which we know is something that

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Speaker 3: people can do.

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Speaker 1: For sure.

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Speaker 3: As far as showing like how I'm trying to like

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Speaker 3: get down to this, like, well, practically, how does she

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Speaker 3: show honor to him? I think you nailed it by

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Speaker 3: saying there's a difference between forgiveness and trust, and you

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Speaker 3: you know it's it's it's good for us to be

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Speaker 3: guarded in a sense, especially when we're dealing with a

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Speaker 3: snake of some kind. When we're dealing with toxic people,

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Speaker 3: abusive people, we we have to put those boundaries in place.

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Speaker 3: We have to align with other people that can help

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Speaker 3: establish those boundaries for us. As far as showing him honor,

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Speaker 3: it's almost like she would need to clarify what is

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Speaker 3: the nature of their relationship now, like did they still

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Speaker 3: have family dinners? Are they in relationship currently? Yeah, I

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Speaker 3: just don't know if it's If it's somewhat estrange, then

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Speaker 3: I don't know how you really there's no interaction, there's

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Speaker 3: no communication. I don't showing honor isn't going back to

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Speaker 3: him and asking him to come be in relationship with you.

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Speaker 1: And we don't know the exact answer to give you

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Speaker 1: for how you play that out. But since you're asking

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Speaker 1: how to honor the Bible, basically is what you're saying,

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Speaker 1: how to honor the Bible by that word honor. What's

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Speaker 1: interesting because one Peter two seventeen, I'm gonna read the

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Speaker 1: King James. Since a lot of people love King James.

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Speaker 1: It says honor all men, love the brotherhood, fear God,

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Speaker 1: honor the King. A lot of other translations say honor

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Speaker 1: the Emperor. So Peter is saying honor the emperor right now.

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Speaker 1: Obviously they have huge qualms with the Emperor of Rome.

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Speaker 1: The Emperor of Rome is bringing persecution and will continue

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Speaker 1: to bring persecution on people that Peter is associated with here,

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Speaker 1: these Christians, and yet he's saying honor the Emperor. So

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Speaker 1: this is something for you, Tina, to kind of wrestle with,

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Speaker 1: is that the Bible is going to call you to

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Speaker 1: honor your father, and the Bible is also going to

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Speaker 1: call you to honor everyone. Is the ESV says in

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Speaker 1: One Peter two seventeen, it says, honor everyone, love the brotherhood,

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Speaker 1: fear God, honor the Emperor.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, that's good. As you were saying that, this

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Speaker 3: kind of jumped out to me that maybe the practical

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Speaker 3: nature of how Tina is to honor her father is

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Speaker 3: really up to her. Is there's so much nuance we

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Speaker 3: don't know. Yeah, But exactly it starts in her heart. Exactly,

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Speaker 3: it starts with her viewing human life as God given

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Speaker 3: and seeing the imaga day, seeing that there's value in

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Speaker 3: his life. God has him here for a reason, and

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Speaker 3: I view the way that I view him is not

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Speaker 3: as a waste of life, as something that needs to

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Speaker 3: be taken off this earth. But that that's when I

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Speaker 3: think that forgiveness really wells up in us and is

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Speaker 3: and is true. Is when we look at that person

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Speaker 3: that has abused us, that that person that is our enemy,

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Speaker 3: persecuted us, whatever it is, and we see past that

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Speaker 3: sin because that's all that that is unrepentant sin, and

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Speaker 3: we can view them with a light of like, I

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Speaker 3: still see the image of God in you, and I

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Speaker 3: know that there's value of human life. Now when you

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Speaker 3: view someone that way, maybe the reactions that we have

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Speaker 3: to them, or the responses or the communication, it will

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Speaker 3: just look different. But I think that's a start to

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Speaker 3: like finding the step and pathway towards honoring him is really.

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Speaker 1: Just how do I love? You? Said? Starts with the heart?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, how do we view him where it was our heart?

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Speaker 3: Looking at him through what lends.

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Speaker 1: Instead of starting with him, start with your heart? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: look at him as an image of God, an image

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Speaker 1: bearer of God. Honor your father, Honor the Emperor.

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Speaker 3: And if you can't do that, that's where you are,

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Speaker 3: be honest about that. I think there's counselors, there's therapy,

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Speaker 3: there's things that you can like maybe there's some wounds

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Speaker 3: in there that you really need to. Like, it's great

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Speaker 3: talk about take to the father and just pray, pray, pray.

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Speaker 3: I know that it sounds the most cliche thing in

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Speaker 3: the world read proble, won't pray. I get it, guys,

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Speaker 3: But there is so much power in it. Redemptive power,

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Speaker 3: restoring power, and healing power.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think that's that's where at startina. I hope that's helpful.

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Speaker 1: We'll take a break your back. I've really told anybody

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Speaker 1: but last Friday, September fifteenth, we had our EE Apparel

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Speaker 1: Fall launch and this is my favorite lunch we've ever done.

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Speaker 1: I love the new concealed jacket that we have that

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Speaker 1: here's why he likes you. I could read that easily,

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Speaker 1: pull out my phone, put on the selfie cam, and

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00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 1: really know. They kind of have everything and you don't

430
00:25:32,840 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 1: really know what to get them, or it's last minute,

431
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:37,240
Speaker 1: maybe you miss their birthday or getting ready for the

432
00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 1: holidays coming up. Cameo is a great thing. I've done

433
00:25:40,440 --> 00:25:44,879
Speaker 1: it for probably five years now, and it's it seems

434
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,320
Speaker 1: to be just a great tool for someone to get

435
00:25:47,320 --> 00:25:50,360
Speaker 1: a quick message from me. Okay, back to the podcast.

436
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 1: All right, back to the podcast. We're going to get

437
00:25:57,720 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 1: into another question. We didn't get to too many questions

438
00:26:00,040 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: in that last break, but we're gonna rock.

439
00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:06,000
Speaker 3: Me and Grell's just start blabbing. We could waste the

440
00:26:06,080 --> 00:26:06,680
Speaker 3: old time.

441
00:26:07,240 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: That's true. So something else that's changed in my life

442
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,920
Speaker 1: with Burns is his brother now, his older brother is

443
00:26:14,960 --> 00:26:17,080
Speaker 1: now a member at my church a Maas and Georgetown.

444
00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:21,040
Speaker 1: And that's pretty cool, man, because I love your brother,

445
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:25,360
Speaker 1: and I've gotten to see him a lot more. There

446
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:28,159
Speaker 1: was a time when I only really knew you, and

447
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: then I got to know him a little bit. We

448
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,880
Speaker 1: went to a conference together. It was our first time

449
00:26:31,880 --> 00:26:35,919
Speaker 1: to really spend time together. And then, man, just a

450
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:42,520
Speaker 1: crazy thing happened. Is life unfolded and the cow coach

451
00:26:42,600 --> 00:26:47,639
Speaker 1: that We've had very deep connections with our two families

452
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:52,600
Speaker 1: for decades, for all different reasons. And in this particular season,

453
00:26:54,119 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: I was thinking about our church and I was thinking

454
00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:59,000
Speaker 1: about your brother, and anybody might be wondering, why doesn't

455
00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,119
Speaker 1: why don't you tell Bernie, Well, because Bernie lives a

456
00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 1: lot longer, You live a lot farther away than your

457
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: brother lives a lot closer to me, And I just

458
00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,919
Speaker 1: felt in this particular season, I was like, man, I

459
00:27:09,960 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 1: got to hit up Jason because I would He could

460
00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: serve our church so well. And there's an interesting thing

461
00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:21,360
Speaker 1: about being a member at a local church that sometimes

462
00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,680
Speaker 1: we think that it's for us, so that it could

463
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:28,880
Speaker 1: serve us and entertain us, and we could just absorb it,

464
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:33,280
Speaker 1: but it goes both ways equally. In a church, you know,

465
00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,879
Speaker 1: you do take it in, but you also give it

466
00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:39,760
Speaker 1: back equally because there's other people that need it. And

467
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,400
Speaker 1: I thought, man, Jason and Ann and his wife would

468
00:27:42,400 --> 00:27:45,359
Speaker 1: be able to serve really well in our church, and

469
00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,000
Speaker 1: I think it would be great. So I texted him

470
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:52,080
Speaker 1: and he was like, a man, I'll never if you

471
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:54,719
Speaker 1: have a good feeling about it, I would never deny that.

472
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,480
Speaker 1: So yeah, we'll come check it out. Lo and behold,

473
00:27:57,760 --> 00:27:59,840
Speaker 1: you know, several months later, now they are actually at

474
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:00,359
Speaker 1: the church.

475
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:05,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, Matt, I am so excited for you to like

476
00:28:05,640 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 3: dive deeper in relationship with that dude. There are very

477
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,959
Speaker 3: few men on this planet that have influenced me in

478
00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:16,400
Speaker 3: the way that Jason has.

479
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:18,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

480
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:20,159
Speaker 3: I could, Yeah, I could waste the rest of the

481
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,280
Speaker 3: podcast time talking about it. But I'm excited that you're

482
00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:25,359
Speaker 3: going to get to kind of jump into the you know,

483
00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:28,919
Speaker 3: the depths of you know, what it means to you know,

484
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 3: glorify God with our lives with you know, with him,

485
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 3: it's yeah, he's super humble, so everything that he knows

486
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 3: and has experienced when it comes to you know, theology

487
00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 3: and walking with the Holy Spirit and you it will

488
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,920
Speaker 3: take a while because he's going to be so interested

489
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:49,800
Speaker 3: in like hearing what you have to say and like

490
00:28:50,400 --> 00:28:52,960
Speaker 3: asking about this and but that's fun.

491
00:28:53,000 --> 00:28:53,200
Speaker 1: Man.

492
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 3: I'm so happy for you guys. I'm not jealous at all.

493
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:04,560
Speaker 3: But this is just it's all good man. This is though,

494
00:29:05,920 --> 00:29:09,680
Speaker 3: you know, just another reason Tyler, Hello, Granger's brother, I've

495
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 3: been asking you to come and run trails with me. Dude,

496
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:14,520
Speaker 3: they could do their church thing, we could do the

497
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 3: trail run of things. Is it's just dirt church. That's

498
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:17,960
Speaker 3: the only difference.

499
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,240
Speaker 1: Man. Come on, could let me ask you a question

500
00:29:21,920 --> 00:29:24,160
Speaker 1: in relation to you living a lot farther away than

501
00:29:24,200 --> 00:29:27,920
Speaker 1: your brother does from here. Why I was thinking about

502
00:29:27,920 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 1: this today this morning. Why do you drive up here

503
00:29:31,680 --> 00:29:33,520
Speaker 1: so often to be on this podcast.

504
00:29:34,760 --> 00:29:36,480
Speaker 3: Oh that's a long answer.

505
00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:39,600
Speaker 1: You were, but you were a busy guy. We've established that. Yeah,

506
00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 1: you have a well established career and a family. Why

507
00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:45,520
Speaker 1: do you do this?

508
00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:57,240
Speaker 3: God said, go H opened the door, gave me the opportunities.

509
00:29:57,520 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 3: And I think that part of my gifting is And

510
00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:06,840
Speaker 3: you know, there's another book I'm reading right now by

511
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 3: Jamie Winship. I don't know if you know him. It's

512
00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 3: called Living Fearless, and it talks about like our true

513
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:17,120
Speaker 3: identity in Christ and how we are created uniquely each

514
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 3: one of us for certain things, and a lot of

515
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:25,080
Speaker 3: times we're living in a false identity. So there's we're

516
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,239
Speaker 3: not feeling the presence of the Holy Spirit, we're not

517
00:30:27,800 --> 00:30:31,920
Speaker 3: feeling the fruit of the Spirit, We're not we're running

518
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:34,720
Speaker 3: into turmoil. There's a lot of different things. Or maybe

519
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:39,720
Speaker 3: we're just complacent in this identity that's a false identity.

520
00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:44,400
Speaker 3: And I think what when we first started, when you

521
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,200
Speaker 3: asked me to come do this, and the first time

522
00:30:46,240 --> 00:30:48,920
Speaker 3: that we did it, it really felt the format of

523
00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:50,960
Speaker 3: it and what you were asking of me felt like

524
00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,480
Speaker 3: it fit into my identity.

525
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: And how you say that your identity has to do

526
00:30:55,640 --> 00:30:58,360
Speaker 1: with the humility, curiosity, diligence, and confidence.

527
00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:02,040
Speaker 3: Sorry that's what you're Yeah, these are these are core

528
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:05,479
Speaker 3: values of our company. But yeah, I think there's you know,

529
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 3: there's those are in there, but really just being able

530
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 3: to listen, listen to people and just empathize and no

531
00:31:15,600 --> 00:31:18,240
Speaker 3: matter if it's you know, and and you've seen this

532
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,120
Speaker 3: with me and you for a long time. I'm not

533
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:25,040
Speaker 3: just gonna like hand the dude on the street corner

534
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,640
Speaker 3: five dollars, I'm gonna sit down and talk to him.

535
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,360
Speaker 3: I'm gonna understand his name, But then I have billionaire

536
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,440
Speaker 3: clients that I have to also be able to sit

537
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 3: with and like the same thing. We were telling Tina

538
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 3: to view both of those people with the same value

539
00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:44,840
Speaker 3: of life and and really consider them more important than myself, Like, Hey,

540
00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 3: what can I do to help you? What can I

541
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,000
Speaker 3: do to help you? What can I hear? You can

542
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:52,200
Speaker 3: I is there something I can impart? And and yeah,

543
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:55,239
Speaker 3: this just going on tour with you was awesome and

544
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 3: being able to meet you know a lot of these

545
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 3: Ye Nation fans. Man, It's just such a privilege. I mean,

546
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,680
Speaker 3: I think the short answer is is like, who wouldn't

547
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:08,600
Speaker 3: want to do this? It's so it's really really fun.

548
00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,000
Speaker 3: And to get to say it with one of my

549
00:32:11,080 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 3: best friends and talk about life and all the God's doing.

550
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, man, dude, you know what that means to me

551
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: and what it's It's important to say this on the

552
00:32:21,120 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 1: podcast too. Before we get to a question. Is basically

553
00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,800
Speaker 1: what you said, because when you started it and you said,

554
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: what do you say? This is what God called me to do.

555
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,680
Speaker 1: That's what God told. God said, you said, God said,

556
00:32:32,680 --> 00:32:35,680
Speaker 1: go Well, so somebody might hear that and be like

557
00:32:36,080 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: he audibly said, Bernie, go you no, but how you

558
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:45,040
Speaker 1: articulated it through your story is what you mean is

559
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:48,920
Speaker 1: when you are in the word, when you when your

560
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:51,720
Speaker 1: prayer life feels healthy and it's not ever going to

561
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: be great, but when it feels healthy and you you

562
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,160
Speaker 1: feel like you you have a good walk, and you

563
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:00,520
Speaker 1: have people around you that are counseling you and that

564
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,560
Speaker 1: are walking with you and affirming you as you're moving forward,

565
00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 1: then at that level, you could start doing what you

566
00:33:07,760 --> 00:33:11,600
Speaker 1: want to do because you're following the desires of your

567
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:14,160
Speaker 1: heart that God has given you those desires. You don't

568
00:33:14,160 --> 00:33:18,080
Speaker 1: have unrepentant sin lurking around in your life. So at

569
00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,040
Speaker 1: that level, when I say hey, Bernie, want to come

570
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 1: to this podcast, and you think you feel, yeah, I

571
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:28,680
Speaker 1: want to, then you follow that because that equals God says, go.

572
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,040
Speaker 1: How far is a drive for you?

573
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,840
Speaker 3: It's about forty five minutes from my office. My office

574
00:33:36,920 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 3: is about twenty minutes the other way from my house,

575
00:33:39,920 --> 00:33:43,840
Speaker 3: So from my house it's over an hour. But I'm

576
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,360
Speaker 3: usually downtown in my office and then I'll come up,

577
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:47,719
Speaker 3: work for a while and then come up.

578
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: That's all I'll do. Well, I appreciate you, and I

579
00:33:49,960 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 1: know these people do too, So thank you man, Thank.

580
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 3: You, thank you.

581
00:33:54,040 --> 00:33:55,160
Speaker 1: You want to do a question here.

582
00:33:55,120 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 3: Let's do I think that's what this podcast is about,

583
00:33:57,200 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 3: so we should probably get to more of those.

584
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: Here's you. Remember when you started this and you said,

585
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 1: ask me something different? This might be it. Just judging

586
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,759
Speaker 1: by the subject line, it says want another baby, but

587
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:13,120
Speaker 1: husband isn't on board. Hey Granger, I'm hoping you could

588
00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 1: help me with this struggle that's been very heavy on

589
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:18,160
Speaker 1: my heart for over a year now. We have two boys,

590
00:34:18,239 --> 00:34:21,640
Speaker 1: ages eight and ten, but we have felt the persistent

591
00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:25,400
Speaker 1: feeling in my heart. But I have felt the persistent

592
00:34:25,440 --> 00:34:28,240
Speaker 1: feeling in my heart that our family needs another child

593
00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 1: to be complete. However, me and my husband decided about

594
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,719
Speaker 1: four years ago that our family was complete with two.

595
00:34:35,840 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: But our lives have changed drastically over the last two years,

596
00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: and I feel more capable and ready to add to

597
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: the family. But my husband is not all caps on board.

598
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,799
Speaker 1: He says, age, among other things, is a factor for him.

599
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 1: He's forty and I am thirty four. How can I

600
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:54,359
Speaker 1: get past this? I have prayed and prayed for him

601
00:34:54,400 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 1: to change his mind, but it hasn't happened, and I

602
00:34:57,520 --> 00:35:00,319
Speaker 1: have not felt peace in my heart to just leave

603
00:35:00,360 --> 00:35:02,879
Speaker 1: this behind. I don't want to resent him for it,

604
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,760
Speaker 1: but I'm struggling with accepting that no into my heart.

605
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:10,120
Speaker 1: Any advice is welcome. Thank you, Stephanie from Ohio.

606
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 3: Well, I like this question. Hmm, this is good.

607
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: We could get we can we could really dissect this

608
00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:17,759
Speaker 1: question here.

609
00:35:17,840 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 3: Okay, So let's let's do this because I heard last

610
00:35:23,160 --> 00:35:26,400
Speaker 3: week when Amber was on she said, you know, without uh,

611
00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:28,239
Speaker 3: there's a lot of other follow up questions I would

612
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:30,280
Speaker 3: like to ask, and since we don't have that option

613
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 3: this her name is Stephanie. Yes, okay, I'm going to

614
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:38,160
Speaker 3: be Stephanie. Okay, and I know that Stephanie. There's a

615
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:40,919
Speaker 3: ton of nuance to everything you're saying. But if there's

616
00:35:41,040 --> 00:35:43,320
Speaker 3: questions that you I'm going to pretend i'm Stephanie, and

617
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:45,680
Speaker 3: if you have questions that fall like, ok just a

618
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,480
Speaker 3: little more context, I'm going to give that to you

619
00:35:48,560 --> 00:35:50,600
Speaker 3: as if that's her, and maybe it is, maybe it's not,

620
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:52,640
Speaker 3: but it'll at least give us like a okay, if

621
00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,439
Speaker 3: that is the answer to these things, then we would

622
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:56,160
Speaker 3: answer it this way.

623
00:35:56,200 --> 00:35:58,680
Speaker 1: So okay, Hi, Stephanie.

624
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:02,359
Speaker 3: Thanks Cranger for reading my question, what do you think?

625
00:36:02,440 --> 00:36:09,360
Speaker 1: Oh, you always make me laugh on these. I'm assuming Stephanie,

626
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:12,120
Speaker 1: that you had a maybe a very busy job with

627
00:36:12,200 --> 00:36:15,680
Speaker 1: two kids at home, and you guys decided collectively, you

628
00:36:15,760 --> 00:36:17,719
Speaker 1: agreed no more children after this.

629
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 3: Yes, that's what drastically changed is that I have You know,

630
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:25,640
Speaker 3: my husband got a raise as well, which also kind

631
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,680
Speaker 3: of like gave us a little bit more of a

632
00:36:27,719 --> 00:36:31,600
Speaker 3: buffer for stress and the finances, but also allowed me

633
00:36:31,760 --> 00:36:34,279
Speaker 3: to be at home. And so now I feel like

634
00:36:34,280 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 3: I have more bandwidth.

635
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:39,000
Speaker 1: Did you know, Stephanie, that when he says age among

636
00:36:39,040 --> 00:36:41,640
Speaker 1: other things, that's the factor for him. He's forty. Did

637
00:36:41,680 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 1: you know that he's not telling you the whole story. No, Yeah,

638
00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: there's there are other fears that he has there, and

639
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 1: he might not be able to fully tell you because

640
00:36:55,120 --> 00:36:58,399
Speaker 1: he's a man and you're a woman, and he might

641
00:36:58,440 --> 00:37:01,360
Speaker 1: not be able to fully articulate all of what he's feeling.

642
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,959
Speaker 1: But there is a core of fear in that and

643
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,320
Speaker 1: a contentment that he has with what he has now

644
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 1: and why risk it when you could have a child

645
00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,520
Speaker 1: with some kind of disability, or you could have a miscarriage,

646
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:16,480
Speaker 1: or you could you could suffer a loss, and to

647
00:37:16,600 --> 00:37:20,440
Speaker 1: add something else to this family adds the risk that

648
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,279
Speaker 1: he could be responsible for a loss or a or

649
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:28,319
Speaker 1: a death, or a heartache, or a disability or any

650
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,240
Speaker 1: number of other things. And that is not a risk

651
00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 1: he's willing to take right now.

652
00:37:32,480 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 3: Did you know that I want to make sure I'm

653
00:37:34,920 --> 00:37:38,480
Speaker 3: getting the character backstory right. Did she mention anything about

654
00:37:38,520 --> 00:37:40,200
Speaker 3: being follower Jesus?

655
00:37:44,480 --> 00:37:49,120
Speaker 1: No? Okay, no, no, no, no, she said, I have

656
00:37:49,200 --> 00:37:51,239
Speaker 1: prayed and prayed for him to change his mind. But

657
00:37:51,280 --> 00:37:52,600
Speaker 1: that's the only context we have.

658
00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 3: Okay, so.

659
00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,919
Speaker 1: Let me say something interesting stuffan me is that you're

660
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 1: prayer is for you. Did you realize that you've prayed

661
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:08,360
Speaker 1: and prayed one thing according to this email, You've prayed

662
00:38:08,440 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: and prayed that he changes his mind.

663
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, but what.

664
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:18,360
Speaker 1: About your mind or your heart? Yeah, it's very interesting

665
00:38:19,560 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: to think about with the dynamic that's going on that

666
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:31,840
Speaker 1: this sounds very one sided, both on both spouses here. Yeah.

667
00:38:32,360 --> 00:38:35,360
Speaker 3: So I've prayed and prayed for him to change his mind.

668
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:40,360
Speaker 3: I just feel like he's he's being stubborn. And since

669
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,200
Speaker 3: I pray, I'm a believer, and I also know that

670
00:38:44,239 --> 00:38:47,760
Speaker 3: the Bible tells me that I am as the wife

671
00:38:48,040 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 3: to submit to my husband. Am I so supposed to

672
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,080
Speaker 3: just like submit to his authority that like, this is

673
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 3: the decision for our family? Or do I just keep

674
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 3: fighting for this?

675
00:38:57,840 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: Well, I just so happened to have been in the

676
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 1: situation very similar to this one. I've lived it, and

677
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:08,840
Speaker 1: so that's why this is this whole question is interesting.

678
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:12,200
Speaker 1: And in fact, even the age thing, I was forty.

679
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:16,239
Speaker 1: I was the forty year old husband in the situation,

680
00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:20,799
Speaker 1: but the situation was flipped. I was the one that

681
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:25,880
Speaker 1: felt like our family wasn't complete and we could have

682
00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 1: another baby. I had, in my words, I had more

683
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,879
Speaker 1: love to give. And Amber was not on board with it.

684
00:39:32,960 --> 00:39:37,359
Speaker 1: She said, no way, River was their last. How could

685
00:39:37,400 --> 00:39:42,680
Speaker 1: we even think about replacing him? I won't even consider it.

686
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:48,319
Speaker 1: But here's a thing, here's a thing. It was It

687
00:39:48,360 --> 00:39:52,319
Speaker 1: was difficult to hear that, but she's my wife, and

688
00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:57,239
Speaker 1: so I had to say, I love you, I trust you.

689
00:39:57,800 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: We have to be all in with something like a

690
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 1: that's a really big deal, the biggest deal in our family.

691
00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,840
Speaker 1: We have to be all in together, and if you're not,

692
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:09,960
Speaker 1: then I won't push you and I won't bring it

693
00:40:10,040 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: up again. I just had a feeling, and I understand,

694
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,040
Speaker 1: I'll back off. Guess what happened when I said that

695
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,520
Speaker 1: about a week or two goes by, and she said,

696
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:25,120
Speaker 1: I've been thinking it was nagging her. I've been thinking,

697
00:40:25,160 --> 00:40:29,320
Speaker 1: and since you said that, I don't want to. I

698
00:40:29,320 --> 00:40:31,560
Speaker 1: don't want to discount a feeling that you had. So

699
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 1: maybe I should just at least talk to the doctor.

700
00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 1: Just we'll just see what the doctor says about our

701
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:38,839
Speaker 1: ages and about the situation she had her tubes tied.

702
00:40:39,320 --> 00:40:43,200
Speaker 1: Maybe we'll just see what the doctor says. We're not saying, yes,

703
00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 1: let's have a baby. We're just saying, let's just see

704
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:52,080
Speaker 1: if there's an option to even try. And suddenly that

705
00:40:52,160 --> 00:40:56,879
Speaker 1: opened up. And I didn't say absolutely right, you know it.

706
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,160
Speaker 1: We're going to get this about time you submit. You

707
00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 1: know I didn't say that. I said, okay, I said

708
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: and if any point you start feeling uncomfortable, we're done.

709
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 1: We're backing out. And Stephanie, so would I would tell

710
00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:16,080
Speaker 1: you have you been that way to your husband or

711
00:41:16,120 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 1: is it just like have you just have you made

712
00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,160
Speaker 1: up your mind yet? Because I'm really just I'm the

713
00:41:21,200 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: clock is ticking, and I feel my biological clock and

714
00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:25,759
Speaker 1: this is I'm thirty four and then this is my

715
00:41:26,120 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 1: last chance? And is that how you are?

716
00:41:29,480 --> 00:41:33,040
Speaker 3: Guys? Granger has just done for Stephanie what he does

717
00:41:33,120 --> 00:41:36,680
Speaker 3: for so many of you. That is just it's where

718
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:39,600
Speaker 3: it all lies. The answers to all of these questions

719
00:41:39,640 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 3: most of.

720
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:40,839
Speaker 1: The time.

721
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:46,040
Speaker 3: Lie in you taking the mirror and turning it on yourself,

722
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 3: like starting with your heart, your approach, your response. So

723
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:57,120
Speaker 3: that's the question, Stephanie, is what is your conversation around

724
00:41:57,120 --> 00:42:00,959
Speaker 3: this topic, like with your husband? And if you sense

725
00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:05,120
Speaker 3: around this topic that there is there's something there, don't

726
00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:11,919
Speaker 3: keep pushing on it. Maybe just like pivot and say, hey,

727
00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:16,000
Speaker 3: I'd love to talk about this thing. I feel like

728
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 3: it may be bugging you or just there may be

729
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,920
Speaker 3: something going on with him and if the answer to

730
00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:27,120
Speaker 3: your question may just be you know, secondary, so like

731
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:30,799
Speaker 3: try to connect with him and understand like why does

732
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,360
Speaker 3: he feel like the family's done? Or why doesn't he

733
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 3: want to have another kid? And approach it with a

734
00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 3: kind of a grace mentality like Granger's talking about, but

735
00:42:40,640 --> 00:42:45,160
Speaker 3: also start with just examining like how am I approaching it?

736
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,759
Speaker 3: Where is my heart at in this? And I don't know,

737
00:42:49,080 --> 00:42:52,400
Speaker 3: I think that you may actually it may change your

738
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:54,879
Speaker 3: heart and it may change his heart at the same time. Yes,

739
00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,719
Speaker 3: and you may be surprised at where you guys end up.

740
00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,200
Speaker 3: It may not be with having another kid, but I

741
00:43:00,239 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 3: guarantee you it'll be with you and your husband having

742
00:43:02,360 --> 00:43:03,359
Speaker 3: a better relationship.

743
00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,839
Speaker 1: So that's so good. So when when that's so good,

744
00:43:06,960 --> 00:43:10,160
Speaker 1: let me, let me give you a quick thought on

745
00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: a prayer. Stuffan me. Instead of saying, God, change his mind,

746
00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 1: change his mind, change his mind, what if it was

747
00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 1: this God, you, if there is another baby in this family,

748
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: you know it. You have done it, you have purposed it,

749
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:28,759
Speaker 1: you've planned it. You are sovereign, you're providential. So if

750
00:43:28,760 --> 00:43:31,960
Speaker 1: there's another baby, it's coming and there's nothing stopping that.

751
00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: But I pray right now because I want one and

752
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,400
Speaker 1: you know that I want one. But I also feel

753
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,799
Speaker 1: like this is a lack of trust in you that

754
00:43:42,880 --> 00:43:46,080
Speaker 1: I'm feeling like it's up to me to convince my husband.

755
00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,799
Speaker 1: That's ridiculous, the Lord, I'm so sorry. I repent of that,

756
00:43:49,880 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 1: to think that the baby's up to me and that

757
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: my husband has to decide and I have to convince

758
00:43:55,080 --> 00:43:59,000
Speaker 1: him a baby is here or not, depending upon you.

759
00:43:59,080 --> 00:44:01,359
Speaker 1: So I just trust you you and to praise you,

760
00:44:01,680 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: and I glorify you soften my heart. And if there

761
00:44:04,760 --> 00:44:07,440
Speaker 1: is a baby, I pray that you soften my husband's heart.

762
00:44:07,680 --> 00:44:10,480
Speaker 1: And this comes together with clarity. Let me know what

763
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: to do in these next steps. I will try that,

764
00:44:15,120 --> 00:44:18,600
Speaker 1: try that kind of prayer, and that will change you.

765
00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:21,239
Speaker 1: And I can tell you from experience, those kind of

766
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:25,000
Speaker 1: prayers rearrange everything inside you.

767
00:44:26,520 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. Thanks graner N Dude, that's Goreird Stephanie. Yeah, he

768
00:44:34,080 --> 00:44:34,680
Speaker 3: just nailed it.

769
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 1: You want to take a much lighter hearted question here.

770
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,680
Speaker 1: Next one, the subject client says don't trust myself to

771
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,439
Speaker 1: date while on the road while working on the road.

772
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,200
Speaker 1: That says, Hey, my name is Ashton. I'm twenty one

773
00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:50,480
Speaker 1: years old and I work on a pipeline and I

774
00:44:50,640 --> 00:44:52,800
Speaker 1: like this girl, but I don't trust myself enough to

775
00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:54,959
Speaker 1: date while I'm working on the road, and I don't

776
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 1: know what I should do.

777
00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:02,120
Speaker 3: I'm not laughing at Ashton. Sometimes when you read questions,

778
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:14,560
Speaker 3: depending on what the content is, Griz Okay, yes, yeah, Ashton,

779
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:19,040
Speaker 3: you got some trust issues, man um and you're and

780
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:20,760
Speaker 3: you may be going after the wrong girls.

781
00:45:20,840 --> 00:45:25,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, uh, yeah, I don't know. What it is. Yeah. Yeah,

782
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 1: if you if you're if you're twenty one and you

783
00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:29,560
Speaker 1: like a girl and you don't trust yourself to be

784
00:45:29,600 --> 00:45:33,759
Speaker 1: faithful to her, then keep looking. Keep looking. There's two

785
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 1: things could be wrong. Once, she's not the right girl

786
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:37,239
Speaker 1: and two you're not in the right space. And I

787
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,080
Speaker 1: got I got a feeling it's probably both at the

788
00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:40,600
Speaker 1: same time. Yeah.

789
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:43,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're and you're young. Don't don't rush.

790
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:47,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, nothing wrong twenty one, you're you're totally good. Yeah.

791
00:45:47,880 --> 00:45:49,720
Speaker 1: And at the same time, don't go be a whore.

792
00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:55,280
Speaker 1: Just don't do that either. Yeah. This question says subject

793
00:45:55,320 --> 00:45:57,320
Speaker 1: line what what's next for the band? Hey grangeraw is

794
00:45:57,360 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 1: wondering what the band member's reaction is was to you

795
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 1: retire from music, and what the next step is for them,

796
00:46:02,360 --> 00:46:05,840
Speaker 1: and how the rest of the crew is involved in touring,

797
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 1: like the bus drivers and Tyler. Thank you for being

798
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:13,279
Speaker 1: a light in the world, Emily. Yeah, Bernie got the

799
00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 1: privilege of going out the last few weeks, and I

800
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 1: did see in everybody and and maybe you could attest

801
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:23,240
Speaker 1: what the attitude was like backstage.

802
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:26,399
Speaker 3: Yeah, I talked, I talked to those guys. I talked

803
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:29,880
Speaker 3: to it just about everybody apart from you, So they

804
00:46:29,880 --> 00:46:31,880
Speaker 3: weren't just like in front of Granger trying to say,

805
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 3: oh that's great. I think that there was a just

806
00:46:37,880 --> 00:46:41,280
Speaker 3: a spirit of gratitude and like understanding. I think at first,

807
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 3: you know, you know, it was like WHOA, this is

808
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,040
Speaker 3: going to be a big change. I felt like an

809
00:46:47,080 --> 00:46:53,160
Speaker 3: excitement from people that there was there was opportunity, and

810
00:46:53,200 --> 00:46:57,279
Speaker 3: sometimes like you know, I think there was acceptance of like, man,

811
00:46:57,320 --> 00:47:01,839
Speaker 3: God is doing something here amongst that team. Man, I

812
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:05,319
Speaker 3: just felt like people sensed God is doing something. How

813
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:07,359
Speaker 3: how am I going to be a part of it?

814
00:47:08,239 --> 00:47:11,000
Speaker 3: Some of them had, you know, you can speak more specifically,

815
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 3: like what they're going to do. I know Chris is

816
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,920
Speaker 3: staying on with you. Obviously, Tyler is going to continue

817
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:21,440
Speaker 3: everything he's doing. But the band guys, I mean, Johnny

818
00:47:22,200 --> 00:47:24,440
Speaker 3: is gonna be with you in some sense.

819
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 1: Yeah. So I think there was a sense of everyone

820
00:47:30,160 --> 00:47:33,440
Speaker 1: was very kind of at peace with it and content

821
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:35,840
Speaker 1: with it, and some of them saw it coming. I

822
00:47:35,880 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 1: guess I could say that to your first question of

823
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:39,880
Speaker 1: what do they think when you told them? Some of

824
00:47:39,920 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 1: them were shocked and so kind of all the emotions,

825
00:47:45,840 --> 00:47:49,640
Speaker 1: there is a sense within all of them of a

826
00:47:49,840 --> 00:47:52,600
Speaker 1: little bit of worrying on what's going to happen in

827
00:47:52,640 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: the next season, because no one really had a for

828
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 1: sure plan. I think Nard my merch guy, he's assistant

829
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: tour manager for Cody Johnson, now Ryan my monitor guy.

830
00:48:01,600 --> 00:48:05,000
Speaker 1: He's out working with somebody, maybe even Cody Johnson to

831
00:48:05,200 --> 00:48:09,879
Speaker 1: Ryan as a stud So love those grizz the front

832
00:48:09,920 --> 00:48:13,319
Speaker 1: of house guy love him. And he is working for

833
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:16,439
Speaker 1: a media company in Austin, not traveling anymore, just got

834
00:48:16,440 --> 00:48:21,359
Speaker 1: married and they're pregnant now, so South Austin Grizz. Yeah,

835
00:48:21,400 --> 00:48:24,680
Speaker 1: I think he is. I think he is. Todd's gonna

836
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:27,600
Speaker 1: be playing lots of gigs doing doing what he does.

837
00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:32,640
Speaker 1: Dusty is in a season of limbo. Not really sure.

838
00:48:33,719 --> 00:48:38,640
Speaker 1: I'm secretly hoping that he doesn't tour. He's a fantastic

839
00:48:38,680 --> 00:48:41,680
Speaker 1: drummer and such a value to any band. But he's

840
00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: also a father of three and they're building a home,

841
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:47,520
Speaker 1: and I think this might be a really cool season

842
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:48,959
Speaker 1: for him to see what it's like for the first

843
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:51,480
Speaker 1: time in his life to not travel and to what

844
00:48:51,560 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 1: was it redeemed the household.

845
00:48:52,760 --> 00:48:55,400
Speaker 3: What was it habits of that, habits of the household.

846
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:59,200
Speaker 1: And then Johnny is probably going to be doing some

847
00:48:59,239 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: property management for me here the Yege Farm and some

848
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 1: other places, which I'm excited about.

849
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,960
Speaker 3: And then he'll pick up some gigs too, right yeah, yeah,

850
00:49:09,000 --> 00:49:09,640
Speaker 3: And the.

851
00:49:09,640 --> 00:49:11,680
Speaker 1: Him and his wife have a real estate deal going

852
00:49:11,719 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 1: on that they like to flip houses, and he's a

853
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:18,400
Speaker 1: really good handyman. And then Chris is still working for me.

854
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 1: His role instead of tour manager, it's more like personal assistant.

855
00:49:22,440 --> 00:49:26,400
Speaker 1: And Tyler is still managing, and Paul is still editing

856
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 1: this podcast and all that. So yeah, they the guy's

857
00:49:30,200 --> 00:49:34,359
Speaker 1: got a they got a bonus and tomorrow as we

858
00:49:34,400 --> 00:49:38,160
Speaker 1: record this podcast tomorrow they'll get it and they know

859
00:49:38,200 --> 00:49:41,520
Speaker 1: it's coming. But they're all going to get a bonus.

860
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:44,920
Speaker 1: And that the money is from the buses that we sold.

861
00:49:45,880 --> 00:49:49,360
Speaker 1: So I think it's really cool that and kind of

862
00:49:49,440 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 1: poetic that the the vehicles that took them away from

863
00:49:52,640 --> 00:49:55,760
Speaker 1: their families for so long are the that's the money

864
00:49:55,800 --> 00:49:58,479
Speaker 1: that's being paid back to them to their families. Yeah,

865
00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:02,239
Speaker 1: so in that aspect, there's not like they're hurting. They're

866
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,240
Speaker 1: not like looking for immediately to pay the bills or anything.

867
00:50:05,280 --> 00:50:08,600
Speaker 1: So they're all okay. But but it's going to be

868
00:50:08,640 --> 00:50:11,440
Speaker 1: an exciting time to see what's next for everybody, and

869
00:50:11,520 --> 00:50:14,359
Speaker 1: I'll still keep in touch with everybody. Yeah.

870
00:50:14,960 --> 00:50:19,680
Speaker 3: I think there's something really special about new seasons and chapters,

871
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:21,680
Speaker 3: kind of like ending and new things beginning.

872
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:27,080
Speaker 1: So same, same, great bro. I appreciate you being on Yeah,

873
00:50:27,120 --> 00:50:29,560
Speaker 1: thanks for having me again. See next time. See all

874
00:50:29,560 --> 00:50:31,800
Speaker 1: of y'all next Monday. Ye, thanks for joining me on

875
00:50:31,840 --> 00:50:34,959
Speaker 1: the Granger Smith Podcast. I appreciate all of you guys.

876
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,960
Speaker 1: You could help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes.

877
00:50:38,280 --> 00:50:41,319
Speaker 1: If you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel, hit that

878
00:50:41,360 --> 00:50:44,799
Speaker 1: little like button and notification spell so that you never

879
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:48,279
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

880
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:50,280
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,

881
00:50:50,680 --> 00:50:55,120
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

882
00:50:55,320 --> 00:50:55,400
Speaker 3: Yi