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Speaker 1: This is Unbreakable with Jay Glacier, a mental Wealth podcast

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Speaker 1: build you from the inside out. Now here's Jay Glacier.

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Speaker 1: Welcome into a Breakable mental Wealth podcast with Jay Glazer.

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Speaker 1: I'm Jay Glazer and well, this week we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: a special podcast. We have a return guest. And the

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Speaker 1: return guest one of the most popular guests we've ever

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Speaker 1: had is my lovely wife, Rosalie Glazer, Rosie Glazer from

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Speaker 1: a Rosie Tennyson. But the reason why we're having Rosie

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Speaker 1: on again is we've told Rosie's story, but so many

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Speaker 1: of you have asked, hey, can you give us a guide?

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Speaker 1: How did you find the love later in life? What

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Speaker 1: is it you two did to find a lot love

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Speaker 1: in your fifties and the outpouring of questions and I

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Speaker 1: think hope that we've given people is fantastic. But I said,

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Speaker 1: you're right, let's give people a guidebook. Let's give people

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Speaker 1: a little taste of what we did, because there was

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Speaker 1: a lot of work that went into our journey, right. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So Rosie and I honor a honeymoon actually jotted down

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Speaker 1: a good fifteen things that we've done over the last

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Speaker 1: four years and in the past to get ourselves into

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Speaker 1: this position to find love and then get ourselves in

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Speaker 1: a position where we don't screw up love and get

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Speaker 1: ourselves in the position we take this love and we've

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Speaker 1: run with it to where we are right now. So

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Speaker 1: we're going to go back and forth on certain different things.

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Speaker 1: But first of all, thanks for coming back here on

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Speaker 1: my podcast. It was hard to get this.

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Speaker 2: Guest, and this time I'm coming back as your wife,

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Speaker 2: which is super cool. And I just had a recent

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Speaker 2: name change. I'm changing my last name from Tennis andical Eazer,

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Speaker 2: which is really never thought i'd be doing that, so

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Speaker 2: it's really special.

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Speaker 1: I love it. It's great, and just you know, again,

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Speaker 1: a lot of hard work went into this for the

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Speaker 1: two of us to find love later on life. I

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Speaker 1: never knew I was capable of feeling this level of

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Speaker 1: jewel until Rosie. Until this, I always thought that I'd

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Speaker 1: sabotage everything. I always thought that I would grow alone.

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Speaker 1: And I think you also had kind of made it

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Speaker 1: almost a decision right that, like, yeah, it's not gonna happen,

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Speaker 1: and that's good. I'm just going to take care everybody

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Speaker 1: else in the world except for you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I had always been looking for it, but I

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Speaker 2: just was like I was waiting, I was waiting for

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Speaker 2: the right person. But meanwhile I kept getting like older

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Speaker 2: and older, and then at some point I was like,

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Speaker 2: oh my gosh, I'm like, you know, my fifties and

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Speaker 2: I still haven't found it. So it was really nice

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Speaker 2: when I was found you, and I was just preparing myself.

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Speaker 1: All right, So let's dive in here, right, We're going

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Speaker 1: to go back and forth here. I think i'll kind

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Speaker 1: of you want me to read back and forth? Yeah, right,

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Speaker 1: So this is this isn't this isn't no order of

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Speaker 1: how we fell in love.

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Speaker 2: This is a good one. Let go of the ghost

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Speaker 2: of the past. You shouldn't keep them around, seriously, let

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Speaker 2: go of the ghost of the past. More in the loss,

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Speaker 2: so you're not mourning it when you meet your new relationship.

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Speaker 2: Even if you believe that's all you need to move on,

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Speaker 2: it's not fair to the other person. So that's like,

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Speaker 2: you know, if you're hanging on to the you know,

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Speaker 2: goes to the past of the ex boyfriend or the

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Speaker 2: ex girlfriend, and you know when you're with the new person,

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Speaker 2: and you don't want to spend any time talking about

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Speaker 2: that those people because that's not you know, they usually.

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Speaker 3: Don't want to hear it.

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Speaker 2: So just don't let the past relationships affect your future relationship.

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Speaker 1: You don't want to just constantly talk about this and

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Speaker 1: that that, or yeah, show off who you've been with

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Speaker 1: in the past.

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Speaker 3: Exactly, you don't.

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Speaker 2: Nobody cares. Yeah, they want to be you're genuinely interested

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Speaker 2: in them. So that's something that that's a big one

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Speaker 2: that I think of a lot of people.

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Speaker 1: If you're talking about your exits, then you're not putting

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Speaker 1: that person across from you right on the pedestal exactly. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So now a lot of those folks is how to

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Speaker 1: find love but also how to keep it once you

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Speaker 1: meet that person. Yeah, right, exactly right. So another one

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Speaker 1: here is don't wait till everything's perfect to find that

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Speaker 1: perfect matter. And what I mean about this is like

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Speaker 1: when you're boxing, Okay, you don't just throw punches when

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Speaker 1: everything's perfect. Gotta throw constantly. I can't just throw across

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Speaker 1: when oh I see that opening. I gotta throw them constantly. Right,

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Speaker 1: I gotta throw my bombs, I gotta throw my jams,

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Speaker 1: I gotta throw my my hooks. I gotta constantly move

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Speaker 1: and bob and move. I gotta throw from different angles

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Speaker 1: in different situations. Same with your love life. You can't

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Speaker 1: just say, okay, now I'm at the greatest place I've

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Speaker 1: ever been. Okay, this person has all these boxes that

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Speaker 1: I want checked. Just doesn't work like that. Life doesn't

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Speaker 1: work like that. A lot of us we hold ourselves

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Speaker 1: back because we're like, oh, well, this isn't perfect, and

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Speaker 1: that's not perfect in this or I'm not in the

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Speaker 1: best place right now.

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Speaker 2: Fuck that right Like I wasn't it when I thowt you.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't in the best place work place, in the workplace.

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Speaker 2: So but because of COVID, because I because normally I

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Speaker 2: would be working, but during that time I was off.

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Speaker 2: So the situation was how I was able to meet

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Speaker 2: you because I was available to go hang out with you.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I love it all right, this is

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Speaker 1: the next one here, I love this one.

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Speaker 2: Break your mold of a type. It's hard enough to

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Speaker 2: find love, so don't make your a cup of water.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: So, if you have a prototype of what you know

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Speaker 2: this person have to be, here's the.

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Speaker 1: People have a list.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they have a list. Thistle bit Histortare they have

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Speaker 2: to you know, have this amount of this job, just

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Speaker 2: make this amount of money. If you have all these

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Speaker 2: requirements that your lists, your your pool gets really small

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Speaker 2: rather than being like, you know what, I'm open for whatever,

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Speaker 2: and it becomes a couple becomes yeah, I love that exactly.

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Speaker 1: I have a good friend with one of the most

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Speaker 1: beautiful women I've ever seen in my life, still Signal,

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Speaker 1: and she has this stupid hype rule one of my

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Speaker 1: best friends, and I was like, you're you're taking away like,

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Speaker 1: by the way, I'm not saying this because I know,

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Speaker 1: but you're but yeah. But then by the way, there's

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Speaker 1: like a great dude I want to set her up with,

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Speaker 1: and she's like, no, he's not a certain amount of height.

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Speaker 1: And then later on and then I, you know, told

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Speaker 1: him now she has this stupid I rull and then

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Speaker 1: later on you have to know him where She's like,

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Speaker 1: you know, I think I like to go with him,

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Speaker 1: and he's like, no, way, I'm being with somebody this

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Speaker 1: shallow that's going to be like, hey, I care more

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Speaker 1: about how like having get old too, We're gonna you

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Speaker 1: get shorter and you get whatever it is, right, So

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Speaker 1: you got to kind of look past for it's like, hey,

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Speaker 1: I just want someone with this color hair, Well those

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Speaker 1: dudes can balls. Yeah, I mean it doesn't make any sense.

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Speaker 3: It doesn't really girl, I want her to.

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Speaker 1: Have this kind of body or this or that, like

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Speaker 1: it just limits you like soul. And then but again,

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Speaker 1: like Rosie and I what we got together, we didn't

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Speaker 1: make this bond, like, hey, we don't want to become

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Speaker 1: that couple that just doesn't take care of themselves and

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Speaker 1: let themselves go. And I've been in those kind of

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Speaker 1: relationships for your stress to we're just gonna eat and drink,

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Speaker 1: like creating this and that. Rosie and I aron a

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Speaker 1: health journey, so we always are present our best.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it's not only that we we bond too

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Speaker 2: because we like if you're we're doing paleol right now,

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Speaker 2: So it's like a each we each do like together,

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Speaker 2: so it's like something we do together. We work out together,

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Speaker 2: so we do a lot of things that are beneficial

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Speaker 2: to ourselves, but we do them together.

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Speaker 3: So it's something that we share which bonds is too.

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Speaker 2: Love this one for you, Oh yeah, this is this

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Speaker 2: is what I did before I met you and I'm single,

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Speaker 2: and I was always like waiting and waiting write a

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Speaker 2: love letter. To your future mister or missus right what

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Speaker 2: you want in life, Like I want to feel like

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Speaker 2: God has a hand in the set, has a hand

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Speaker 2: in setting this up. How I wanted to be treated,

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Speaker 2: how you feel about them, and what you're looking for

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Speaker 2: in your soulmate, I your partner in crime, confident you

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Speaker 2: travel together. In other words, just setting your attention so

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Speaker 2: and just put it away somewhere like that, you know,

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Speaker 2: And I would do it from time to time. I

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Speaker 2: would write like what I was wanting and in my soulmate,

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Speaker 2: and I found in you, which is keeper cool.

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Speaker 1: And Rosie kind of got me, remember too, Like I

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Speaker 1: used to go outside even growing up, and I talked

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Speaker 1: to God about her. It turned out to be her.

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Speaker 1: I'm a big I'm a big softie like that, and

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Speaker 1: I'm very very romantic romantic, and I've always kind of

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Speaker 1: been like that looking for that person because I always

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Speaker 1: didn't feel lonely on the inside. So I've always been

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Speaker 1: kind of talking to Rosie to my soulmate. Herd thing

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Speaker 1: is write a love letter. I love that because then

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Speaker 1: you're going to see but it's a love letter to that.

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Speaker 1: I want to be treated like this, but I can't

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Speaker 1: wait to meet you. I love you, and it makes

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Speaker 1: it more like, hey, all right, it makes it feel

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Speaker 1: like it's closer.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, it makes it feel like it can happen.

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Speaker 2: And you're just you're putting your attentions out there, which

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Speaker 2: is really powerful.

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Speaker 1: How many times did you write that?

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Speaker 3: I did it quite a few times.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I put it somewhere like and I would

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Speaker 2: see it like years later, and I'd be like, oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh, but I was still you know, I would

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Speaker 2: find them from time to time and I'd be like, Okay,

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Speaker 2: I still haven't found that person, and then.

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Speaker 3: Give you a hope every time did Yeah, it would,

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Speaker 3: and then recently I found it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh my gosh, I wrote the things

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Speaker 2: I wanted I found and you really so yeah, that

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Speaker 2: was everything I wanted to.

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Speaker 3: Well, I gotta see this.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, ready again, I'm going to kind of use

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Speaker 1: some sport analogies here, Sell Scout. Do an autopsy of

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Speaker 1: past relationships to see the things that you did that

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Speaker 1: you want to improve upon. You want to chance to

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Speaker 1: get one. Yeah right, yeah, so don't worry about things

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Speaker 1: they did, so sell Scout. So what I mean by

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Speaker 1: this is the NFL. You'll you'll, especially like the bye

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Speaker 1: week code will go and they'll look to see what

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Speaker 1: they've done right and wrong at that point, or they'll

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Speaker 1: look at their own players and go, hey man, when

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Speaker 1: you're when we're trying to throw a pass over here,

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Speaker 1: we're tipping our hand, or we're we have a flinch

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Speaker 1: over here. But you self, scout, You don't just look

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Speaker 1: at the other team. You look at yourself and see

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Speaker 1: where are we giving our ready our own game plan?

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Speaker 1: Where were we hurting ourselves? Where were we shooting ourselves

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Speaker 1: in the foot? Same thing there, So don't look and

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Speaker 1: see where oh I was in this relationship and this

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Speaker 1: person of this, This is where did I do this

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Speaker 1: and this and this? Where did I have a part

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Speaker 1: of where it fell apart? And work to improve upon

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Speaker 1: those That's the key.

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Speaker 2: That's where the powers because you can't change anyone else.

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Speaker 2: The only thing you can change is yourself. So yeah,

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Speaker 2: that's right, that's I love that one.

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Speaker 1: That's a good one.

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Speaker 3: That's a really good one.

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Speaker 1: You're right. A guy in Greg Hardin who we found

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Speaker 1: on this podcast we just passed away and he's coached

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Speaker 1: he's coached me between the years. Coach Tom Brady's which

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Speaker 1: Michael Phelps, Charles Woods and people like that. And he

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Speaker 1: was telling about the story with Brady and he's like, Tom,

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Speaker 1: how old are you? You know? Tom was like nineteen?

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Speaker 1: How old are your coaches? Fifty? What's chances they're going

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Speaker 1: to change? Well? Probably not. How long they've been doing this? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: thirty years? So who could change? Not them? But I can't. Well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you could change, that's it, right, I said, You've got

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Speaker 1: to be the one that change and make those improvements,

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Speaker 1: because you're not going to change somebody else, but you

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Speaker 1: can change how you deal with things. Hey, where did

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Speaker 1: I have a part of where this thing fell apart?

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Speaker 1: Responsibility of work? And proved by that? So I don't

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Speaker 1: do this to the next person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's a great opportunity. So when you do

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Speaker 2: meet that person, you've already you know, you've done work.

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Speaker 1: So that'sact. Right. I love this.

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Speaker 3: So put the monsters to bed, go right, Oh wait,

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Speaker 3: this is okay?

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Speaker 1: The monsters bad.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So it probably would have happened earlier for us

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Speaker 2: if we didn't think that things were blockiness. You know

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Speaker 2: who was we were? We were blocking us, we were

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Speaker 2: telling our solves it. You know, it took Jay to

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Speaker 2: be relentless for both of us to put those monsters

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Speaker 2: to bed.

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Speaker 3: And if he still didn't, I wouldn't have found love.

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Speaker 1: So you gotta go out and yeah, we've got to

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Speaker 1: So nothing's against.

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Speaker 3: Us with us, and you were fighting for us, like

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Speaker 3: very hard, and.

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Speaker 1: We put these monsters to bed. What I mean by

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Speaker 1: this guy is again when I say that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: feeling worthy of being loved. I always thought like it's

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Speaker 1: just never gonna happen. And so I was the one

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Speaker 1: convincing myself and I was the one sabotaging because I

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Speaker 1: felt like, you have these outside sources that were against me.

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Speaker 1: I was convinced that I had these outside sources that

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Speaker 1: were against me and that no matter what I did,

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Speaker 1: I couldn't beat them because it was preordained that I'm

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Speaker 1: never going to find love. Rosie. I had a dream.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I always felt because I had a dream there's

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Speaker 2: this when you were like eight eight.

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Speaker 3: And there's just a monster that like you know, had

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Speaker 3: me in.

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Speaker 1: It and said you'll never you'll always be mine, You'll

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Speaker 1: never find love, and then you believed it for your Well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I always had like yeah, yeah, So I

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Speaker 2: always thought that you know, this is like it's never

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Speaker 2: gonna happen for me. There's something blocking me. There's something

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Speaker 2: stopping me. But at some point you get to realize, wait,

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Speaker 2: you know what, there's nothing blocking me.

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Speaker 3: It's just me. I'm the one who's blocking me.

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Speaker 2: And I got to put the monster to bed so

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Speaker 2: you can hut the monster can find love, because there's

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Speaker 2: if you feel that way and you're there's something you're

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Speaker 2: thinking that's blocking you, then guess what, you'll always have

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Speaker 2: these walls up and your you probably.

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Speaker 3: Will succeed in that.

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Speaker 2: Or you say, you know what, I'm going to put

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Speaker 2: this monster to bed and I can't find it and

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Speaker 2: I am lovable and you know you can find that too.

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Speaker 1: You know when we both did that. So again I

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Speaker 1: heard this about Rosie. Her sister brought it up. I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, you you thought that since

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Speaker 1: you were eight, Like that is hard. But then I

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Speaker 1: told her I have the same thing, like I feel like, man,

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Speaker 1: something in the universe that guess me, And then we

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Speaker 1: realize it was us. Yeah, we work to get past it.

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Speaker 1: And then still you're so afraid, even going up to

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Speaker 1: your wedding day, you're horrified. You believe this story that

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Speaker 1: you've made up for all these years, right.

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Speaker 2: And it's comfortable to cling on to you because it's

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Speaker 2: what you've always told yourself, so you're really comfortable with it.

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Speaker 2: And when you challenge it and yeah, yeah, grateful is

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Speaker 2: the story you're most comfortable with. So somebody you've got

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Speaker 2: to challenge it and rewrite your story so you can

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Speaker 2: have a happy ending.

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Speaker 1: It's the racket, you said that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a racket.

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Speaker 1: You're running yourself, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: So now here we are about to get married. Try

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Speaker 1: not to cry as I met myself. But we're in Italy.

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Speaker 1: It's just the two of us, and she's about to

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Speaker 1: walk down the island and I look at her. Try

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Speaker 1: not crying, but I said, baby baby, she's across, she's

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Speaker 1: about to walk down. I'm already up there at the altar,

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Speaker 1: and I'm like, baby baby, and she looks me and

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Speaker 1: I said, hey, the monster's dead, and the two of

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Speaker 1: us just start crying. By the time she got to me. Look,

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Speaker 1: I'm crying right out. The time she got to me,

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Speaker 1: we were just the two of us because fifty four

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Speaker 1: years from fifty three years from me of this painful

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Speaker 1: thought that I didn't control it. Something was genuinely against me.

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Speaker 1: It's a painful existence, it is. And we got to

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Speaker 1: put that pain aside. And I said, you know, if

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Speaker 1: I had to wait, I don't resent how long it

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Speaker 1: took him. So glad about our journey for two things.

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Speaker 1: Number One, I do think the pain I've been in,

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Speaker 1: I've been in it so I can help others through

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Speaker 1: their for sure, right with the podcast like this in

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Speaker 1: a book and just and be able to just how

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Speaker 1: many people I've been able to hope now to give

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Speaker 1: words to mental health. I had to go through this

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Speaker 1: so I can help others through theirs. But the other

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Speaker 1: thing was, if I wait fifty three years to found

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Speaker 1: my soulmate and I get it for the rest of eternity,

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Speaker 1: I'm good.

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Speaker 3: It's definitely worth the wait from me for sure.

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Speaker 1: Put the monster to the monsters to bet okay, don't

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Speaker 1: do things only when you women ask for it. A

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Speaker 1: lot of times the women are more I hear my

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Speaker 1: female friends. We heard a lot. Oh he's not he

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Speaker 1: doesn't kiss me enough, he doesn't hug me enough. He

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Speaker 1: doesn't do this. So under promise and over deliver. It's

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00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,160
Speaker 1: the best business advice. It's also the same advice in

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Speaker 1: love and so like, I don't just hug her when

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Speaker 1: she asked for it, I'm just kiss her when she asked.

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Speaker 1: I don't just rub her back when she asked, I

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Speaker 1: don't just wire flowers when she asked, I'm constantly thinking

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Speaker 1: every day I actually wake up, what can I do

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Speaker 1: to improve my wife's life today?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Really my girlfriends. Yeah, and you do the same thing,

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Speaker 1: but I did have to explain it to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

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Speaker 2: It's like little little things that show the person that

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Speaker 2: you Karen. It's just but you're really good at.

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Speaker 1: That, and don't look at it like, oh I did

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Speaker 1: that already. I put my time and I got him

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Speaker 1: a card, I got already have flowers I already gave

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Speaker 1: I already gave him a kiss. I already gave them. Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's constantly and everything. It's an every day thing.

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Speaker 3: Little, it's not even, it's not even. It could be anything,

359
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Speaker 3: but I.

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Speaker 1: Do like this one. I want to do this one

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Speaker 1: which one life is a chicken?

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Speaker 2: Say oh that you can Sayandrew, sorry, Yeah, So like

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Speaker 2: this was like when we went to Thailand and we

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Speaker 2: were with some monks and stuff.

365
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Speaker 1: And way living back kids were like tiring, some monks

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Speaker 1: not partying some.

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Speaker 3: Months and right, let's kavalayah and we went on let me,

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Speaker 3: let me so I want to.

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Speaker 1: Thailand on a mind, body spirit journey. When Rosie and

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Speaker 1: I broke up, that's the thing with like change and

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Speaker 1: that's really where I learned from these monks like and

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Speaker 1: they got me to learn from me. So basically like

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Speaker 1: monks out there, like your therapist, I go out there,

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Speaker 1: I was doing I was fighting more time in the jungle,

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Speaker 1: which is right, I was. I learned breath work and

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Speaker 1: meditation and this gratitude listens to every day you go

377
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,280
Speaker 1: back and listen to this podcast, you could hear a

378
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:39,320
Speaker 1: lot of things that I do now in these rituals

379
00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:44,440
Speaker 1: for myself. But also after I said, man, they they've

380
00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 1: really helped me out my next off season. And once

381
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Speaker 1: I got myself a position with Rose and I got

382
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Speaker 1: back together, I said, I'd like for you to come

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Speaker 1: with me so you could learn all these things. And

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Speaker 1: I I dressed it up as like so you could

385
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Speaker 1: do it, so you can help me with because folks,

386
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Speaker 1: I'm crazy, Like I'm not easy, right, I have a

387
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:06,800
Speaker 1: clinical depression of anxiety bipolar ADHD. Insomnia. It goes on

388
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Speaker 1: and on and on. I'm like, I really want you

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Speaker 1: to help learn all this, so you could help me,

390
00:17:12,320 --> 00:17:13,840
Speaker 1: so we could do this breath work together, we could

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Speaker 1: do this meditation they get, we could do this gratitude

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00:17:16,119 --> 00:17:18,920
Speaker 1: list together. But it was really more for Rosie. Yeah,

393
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,399
Speaker 1: without without letting her know, is really for Rosie, and

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Speaker 1: she needed this too. She needed these and she's got

395
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Speaker 1: a therapy for a long time. But the way they

396
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Speaker 1: do it out there is different. Different.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, they coach you and they get you to think

398
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Speaker 3: differently to what you what you would.

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Speaker 2: So when you and I start dating, I remember I

400
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,720
Speaker 2: was feeling kind of a little unworthy because I wasn't

401
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,320
Speaker 2: used to getting showered with love.

402
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Speaker 3: I wasn't used to you know.

403
00:17:40,880 --> 00:17:43,840
Speaker 2: Here I was finding getting everything I wished for. But

404
00:17:43,880 --> 00:17:45,960
Speaker 2: when you get it, sometimes you feel unworthy of it

405
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,080
Speaker 2: and you feel like not deserving of it.

406
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Speaker 3: So that's what I was telling that. I guess it

407
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Speaker 3: was fear.

408
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Speaker 2: It was fear of like, oh wait, everything's happening, but

409
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,520
Speaker 2: now it's going to get taken away, or you just

410
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Speaker 2: feel undeserving. So so I was explaining this to the

411
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,840
Speaker 2: months and they're like, well, okay, so what's your your

412
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Speaker 2: favorite food? So I was saying this R and D

413
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Speaker 2: chicken sandwich, which is like if I could eat anything,

414
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Speaker 2: I love the same. So the monk says, okay, so

415
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Speaker 2: when you're eating your chicken sandwich, are you worried that

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Speaker 2: the person across from you doesn't think that you're worthy

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Speaker 2: of that chicken sandwich? Or are you just enjoying your

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Speaker 2: chicken sandwich? And I was like, yeah, actually, I'm enjoying

419
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Speaker 2: my chicken sandwich and the fries and you know, whatever

420
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Speaker 2: else I have with And she's like, okay, so when

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00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:25,920
Speaker 2: you're eating your chicken sandwich, do you think that the

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Speaker 2: person sitting on the seat next to you doesn't think

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Speaker 2: that you deserve that chicken sandwich?

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Speaker 3: And I'm like no, I'm just enjoying.

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Speaker 2: My chicken sandwich. And so she says, well, this is

426
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Speaker 2: your life. Your life is the chicken sandwich. Don't worry

427
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,520
Speaker 2: about what you know, if you're deserving or not worthy

428
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Speaker 2: of it. Just enjoy your chicken sandwich.

429
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Speaker 3: So that's what I realized. Life is like the chicken sandwich.

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Speaker 1: Just enjoy it.

431
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Speaker 2: Enjoy it when it happens, enjoy it while it happens.

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Speaker 2: Don't worry about it getting taken away. Don't worry that

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Speaker 2: you're worthy. Just enjoy whatever it is that you're experiencing

434
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,840
Speaker 2: and truly and just enjoy it.

435
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,879
Speaker 1: So she came out of this and she was like,

436
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,040
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my life's a chicken sandwich. Someone, what

437
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,760
Speaker 1: are you talking about? What were your life is a

438
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,320
Speaker 1: chicken sandwich? How you going? Maybe the monkey you came

439
00:19:07,359 --> 00:19:09,160
Speaker 1: out to your life? But she came out.

440
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:13,800
Speaker 2: It was really a different mind shift from feeling like

441
00:19:14,040 --> 00:19:16,160
Speaker 2: I'm worthy rather than being like, oh wait, no, I'm

442
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 2: going to enjoy this, and it's it's enjoy and enjoy

443
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:19,720
Speaker 2: the chickens.

444
00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:22,639
Speaker 1: So I think the last one here, we'll finish this

445
00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,600
Speaker 1: off here is protect your value and self esteem. And

446
00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,240
Speaker 1: what I mean by that this is something Rosie made

447
00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:34,080
Speaker 1: sure of. She made sure Rosie like, you cannot walk

448
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:38,240
Speaker 1: all over Rosie. I have my meltdowns. I cannot fuck

449
00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:41,719
Speaker 1: with roasties. She does not take my ship now. At

450
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: the same time, it's very compassionate for me, but I

451
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: had to learn early, like I'm used to running people over.

452
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 1: She's like, uh, I'm protecting my value and self esteem. Yeah,

453
00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,720
Speaker 1: And my respect for her is through the ceiling used

454
00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,200
Speaker 1: to walk over with people and they just go I

455
00:19:59,359 --> 00:20:01,480
Speaker 1: just let them do it because I don't want to

456
00:20:01,520 --> 00:20:02,080
Speaker 1: be more upset.

457
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 3: You're in two seconds.

458
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: Same for you. A lot of us will just take

459
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 1: it because we don't want conflict, and also we're like,

460
00:20:12,160 --> 00:20:14,080
Speaker 1: oh this will we'll get through it if I take it.

461
00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,400
Speaker 1: Don't just take it. Make sure. And she told me, Jay,

462
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,480
Speaker 1: we're going to be together. You're always going to treat

463
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:22,040
Speaker 1: me like this queen. You're never going to walk over me.

464
00:20:22,080 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna be a door mat. She explained it

465
00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:27,359
Speaker 1: to me. She doesn't exactly like this. She said it

466
00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:31,119
Speaker 1: going in say it to your partner too. I deserve

467
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,600
Speaker 1: to be treated like like a lion I deserve to

468
00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:36,040
Speaker 1: be treated like a lioness. I deserve to be treated

469
00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:38,960
Speaker 1: like a queen. If you don't, this isn't going to

470
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:39,600
Speaker 1: work for us.

471
00:20:39,680 --> 00:20:42,240
Speaker 2: And that'll that'll hurt the dynamics of your relationship because

472
00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:43,760
Speaker 2: then you'll want presenting them because you don't like the

473
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,200
Speaker 2: way they talk to you or whatever it is.

474
00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 3: But if you communicate and don't do it when you're mad,

475
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 3: do it, okay, you said.

476
00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: The earler, I didn't like this or that, and then

477
00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:52,240
Speaker 2: the person. It gets a person a chance to be like,

478
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:56,400
Speaker 2: oh okay, so then they they know how to treat

479
00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:57,400
Speaker 2: you as you're teaching them.

480
00:20:57,760 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 3: So and you're really good at that. You're like you

481
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 3: take no's well.

482
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:07,719
Speaker 1: Despite the ada tell me yeah, and then uh man,

483
00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,640
Speaker 1: I had I had one more here and now I'm

484
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:13,520
Speaker 1: sitting here going, oh my gosh, what was it? Oh yeah,

485
00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,760
Speaker 1: So Rosie and I have started a lot of rituals together, Yes,

486
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 1: a lot of rituals. And like we do a ton

487
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,400
Speaker 1: of stuff now in the morning and I'll tell people

488
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:26,960
Speaker 1: what is like. We get up, we do like we

489
00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:29,399
Speaker 1: were doing breath work, am meditations, We do breath worcommendation

490
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,440
Speaker 1: right all this in the morning. We take our dogs

491
00:21:31,480 --> 00:21:33,520
Speaker 1: to go walk this to go out in the morning.

492
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,480
Speaker 1: But while we're there, we do a gratitude list and

493
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,399
Speaker 1: things were grateful for the day before. It can be anything.

494
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:41,160
Speaker 1: It could be like, hey, I'm grateful for the sky today.

495
00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: IM grateful. We always start with them grateful for God.

496
00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 1: I'm grateful for each other, and then I'm grateful for

497
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:48,440
Speaker 1: we saw dolphins. I'm grateful for could be a pair

498
00:21:48,480 --> 00:21:48,840
Speaker 1: of shoes.

499
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 3: Great conversation I had conversation with your brother.

500
00:21:51,280 --> 00:21:53,760
Speaker 1: Right, Like it could be, Man, I got a great

501
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: phone call today. I got it doesn't have to be big,

502
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be small, could be anything. And

503
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:00,800
Speaker 1: I had to learned that, Tilan. How like for me

504
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:05,200
Speaker 1: and for you too, You're like, it's hard to feel

505
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,680
Speaker 1: grateful when and even I've explained to a lot of

506
00:22:07,720 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: people it's easy, Like it could be like, hey got

507
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 1: my helps today, Hey I got I got a pretty

508
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:18,200
Speaker 1: cool text from somebody. Hey, I've got this, I got,

509
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,400
Speaker 1: I got a new belt, I got a new shirt

510
00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 1: that I really like. Anything.

511
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 2: It could be anything, just little little things that could

512
00:22:25,119 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 2: there's big things too sometimes, but a lot of a

513
00:22:27,359 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 2: lot of times it's not that it's just something small.

514
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,639
Speaker 1: Right, So the point is, so then we do the

515
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:35,560
Speaker 1: gratitude list, then we work out should run these stairs

516
00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: here in Malibu, and then we have the incredible and

517
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: that's when we do our breath recommentation right down at

518
00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,800
Speaker 1: the bottom. And then we'll go usually do another workout.

519
00:22:43,800 --> 00:22:45,400
Speaker 1: And this is all before like eleven o'clock in the morning.

520
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 1: We have these rituals. At night we do this. Then

521
00:22:48,080 --> 00:22:49,760
Speaker 1: we do appreciate, celebrate and smile.

522
00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:52,040
Speaker 3: We take like that's something a month's hottest, which you

523
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:52,480
Speaker 3: really good.

524
00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 1: Two things at night and we're like, okay, something that

525
00:22:56,840 --> 00:23:01,480
Speaker 1: happens today and you like appreciate it, really celebrate, like

526
00:23:01,720 --> 00:23:04,840
Speaker 1: throw a party in your heart, like really celebrate this

527
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 1: thing and have the hugest smile on your face. So

528
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 1: because think about it, like, first of all, one, when

529
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,880
Speaker 1: you smile, your body doesn't know and your brain doesn't

530
00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:15,280
Speaker 1: know what's real or fake. It actually releases like a

531
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:18,840
Speaker 1: doorphins to help boosh your mood. But also think of

532
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: how you are the next morning when you come home

533
00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,560
Speaker 1: from a cool party, think about how much better life is.

534
00:23:23,840 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 1: So you're throwing a party in your heart, like a

535
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:28,080
Speaker 1: couple of things sakes two to three minutes. Throw this

536
00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: party in your heart, but really celebrate, really smile, really

537
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,640
Speaker 1: feel it. It's so much better to go to bed

538
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 1: that way than dreading the next morning, or dreading all

539
00:23:37,640 --> 00:23:41,920
Speaker 1: the things that happen, or dealing with your problems, which

540
00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 1: I used to wake up. I used to bed go

541
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:46,760
Speaker 1: with the worst anxiety from the crap that I had

542
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 1: to face the next day, or what I was fearful

543
00:23:49,840 --> 00:23:52,520
Speaker 1: was going to happen the next day, or bad things

544
00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:54,720
Speaker 1: that happened that day. I'd sit there and harp on

545
00:23:54,840 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 1: them instead of what we do now, which is we

546
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: just celebrate and you have a book of prayers. We

547
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 1: also read a prayer and what we do these prayers together.

548
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:07,600
Speaker 1: My point is we have we created all these rituals together.

549
00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:11,720
Speaker 1: Don't get tired of it. Like you're never in a

550
00:24:11,760 --> 00:24:13,800
Speaker 1: place like Okay, been there, done that, We're good now.

551
00:24:14,040 --> 00:24:16,440
Speaker 1: There is no we're good there, We're good now. Okay,

552
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:18,720
Speaker 1: You've got to continue to grow. And a lot of

553
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:20,840
Speaker 1: times we don't feel like doing these Yeah we do

554
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:23,400
Speaker 1: them anyways, we don't know us. Yeah, to make sure

555
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,200
Speaker 1: that we have your rituals. Create rituals together and keep

556
00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:29,520
Speaker 1: it going. Don't say now on board of them or

557
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,159
Speaker 1: create nums like but just do this together.

558
00:24:32,480 --> 00:24:34,359
Speaker 3: Right, It's a really good way to bond and just

559
00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:36,840
Speaker 3: spend time together. And yeah, I get it.

560
00:24:38,359 --> 00:24:39,679
Speaker 1: Where else do you want to add everybody?

561
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, just like yeah, it's like we both found love

562
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 2: later in life. And it was like something that I

563
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:48,760
Speaker 2: think because I have a lot of people that have

564
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,840
Speaker 2: reached out and they're like, oh, it gives them hope,

565
00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,199
Speaker 2: you know, because in most of the people, a lot

566
00:24:53,240 --> 00:24:54,639
Speaker 2: of people are out there, are single, they don't have

567
00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,040
Speaker 2: they haven't found their soul met so like I think

568
00:24:57,160 --> 00:24:59,000
Speaker 2: when they see our story, it kind of gives them

569
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 2: hope because they're like, wait, know it's not too late,

570
00:25:01,440 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 2: because if you're thinking that, then it's discouraging.

571
00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:07,200
Speaker 3: But if you realize it, it's never too late to

572
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 3: find love.

573
00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:09,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it never is. One of the things behind in

574
00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:12,040
Speaker 1: there again like self scout taking him into what you

575
00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 1: did wrong. And I look back now and I'm like,

576
00:25:14,240 --> 00:25:16,239
Speaker 1: I was a lot for a lot of people, right,

577
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:18,880
Speaker 1: I was a lot because I was trying to create

578
00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:23,080
Speaker 1: this image of me I thought would be the one

579
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: that would get love. When it turns out the real, flawed,

580
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,920
Speaker 1: fucked up one is the one that everybody loves. And

581
00:25:31,040 --> 00:25:34,760
Speaker 1: I see people now too. They're still doing putting on

582
00:25:34,880 --> 00:25:37,560
Speaker 1: this front and there's so much energy and it's just

583
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: no vulnerability there. And I'm most like, hey, just just

584
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: be you, like I know that person's there, Just be you.

585
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,520
Speaker 1: People aren't. What I realized is people like the glaze.

586
00:25:48,359 --> 00:25:50,000
Speaker 1: People love Jaglz exactly.

587
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 2: And that's what when I look back on past relationship

588
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:56,840
Speaker 2: or even our relationship, the memories are that I admire

589
00:25:56,920 --> 00:25:58,360
Speaker 2: the most, and I like the most are the ones

590
00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: that when you're vulnerable, because those are the ones I

591
00:26:00,840 --> 00:26:03,680
Speaker 2: remember and I'm like, wow, you're genuine and vulnerable. And

592
00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:06,200
Speaker 2: that's the parts that when I would look back, I'm like,

593
00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,439
Speaker 2: always we'll remember.

594
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: And the last thing is again, all that we're teaching

595
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:14,760
Speaker 1: here and now coaching here now enough to take a

596
00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,919
Speaker 1: month to do this right here, right.

597
00:26:16,920 --> 00:26:18,359
Speaker 3: Now, exactly right.

598
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,119
Speaker 1: Yeah, start it now. Start it to day. When I

599
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 1: was sitting here in my career, I would I would.

600
00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:26,280
Speaker 1: I wouldn't put things off to the next week. I'm like,

601
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna use this stuff now. Start changing my life now.

602
00:26:29,720 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 1: And it took eleven years for me to get my

603
00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,959
Speaker 1: first full time job. Every single day I gave myself

604
00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:38,840
Speaker 1: hope of now I'm doing something now, and eventually, thank

605
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: you God Almighty in Heaven, I broke through. So start

606
00:26:42,560 --> 00:26:45,359
Speaker 1: these now right. Start your journaling now where you can

607
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,680
Speaker 1: do certain things right. That's the other thing we both

608
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,520
Speaker 1: journal now, which I need to do before with Thailand.

609
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: You've done it your whole life.

610
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's been very helpful for me. That has been

611
00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: very very so.

612
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: That's another ritual for us. Sometimes you and I will

613
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 1: go in journal together to put music on and journal

614
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 1: right right. So look, I really hope we've been able

615
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:09,119
Speaker 1: to help. We've never done this before where the two

616
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:12,480
Speaker 1: of us have sat down and just given us game plan,

617
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: our guidebook, if you will, coaching people how to find

618
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 1: love later in life. Never too late to find love,

619
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,440
Speaker 1: trust us, It's never too late to fly. It's true.

620
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,120
Speaker 3: It's true, it's true.

621
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,760
Speaker 1: We love you, We appreciate you all. Maybe thank you

622
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 1: for teaching me how to be and how to feel safe.

623
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:36,359
Speaker 1: And it's the biggest gift anybody can ever give me,

624
00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:41,480
Speaker 1: is feeling safe. It's not the money and the fame

625
00:27:41,560 --> 00:27:45,399
Speaker 1: and this and then that. It's man, this, it's just

626
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 1: safety that I don't know who ever felt before. It's

627
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,280
Speaker 1: the biggest gift anybody ever get.

628
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:51,440
Speaker 2: Thank you for always supporting me and being there for me,

629
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 2: and you always like always have my back, and I

630
00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: always know that you know, just for loving me because

631
00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:58,760
Speaker 2: you're so really good at it.

632
00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 1: Love your baby now. It's never too late to find love.

633
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,399
Speaker 1: Just keep walking and walk together