Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Hello here, I am welcome to
Speaker 1: the show. It's Nicki Laser Podcast. It's Monday. Uh, I
Speaker 1: am in l a still. You might have heard someone
Speaker 1: singing over on your Marina in the intro song, and
Speaker 1: it just so happens to be on your marina. She
Speaker 1: is our guest today, joining us from somewhere in New
Speaker 1: York City. Not sure if I can call it upstate? Anya.
Speaker 1: How's it going? So good to be here. I'm glad
Speaker 1: I got to redo my part live because during the
Speaker 1: Hampton's pod, I was very disappointed in my performance. Were you?
Speaker 1: I was disappointed in all of us. It's not that
Speaker 1: I was disappointed. I was mad, you know how, it's
Speaker 1: usually the opposite. I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I was just um. Andrew Colin is also here. Hi Andrew,
Speaker 1: He's in St. Louis. What's going on? Thank you so
Speaker 1: much for having me here. How did you get in
Speaker 1: my opmand this morning? How you thought I moved out?
Speaker 1: You idiot? It's funny to Mercedes. What do you fucking goofy?
Speaker 1: I thought I moved on? F Boy Island is very
Speaker 1: flagrant with the word uh. Idiot um, which leads me
Speaker 1: to believe that he was called a fucking idiot a
Speaker 1: lot in his childhood, which is unfortunate. But I do
Speaker 1: love him and I have loved for that guy. Um,
Speaker 1: even though yesterday I posted on I like I posted
Speaker 1: on my Instagram story. I don't know if you saw
Speaker 1: it on you, but you guys, you and Taylor were
Speaker 1: like watching f boy Island and like commenting on our
Speaker 1: WhatsApp chat, which is like nine girls on nothing, and
Speaker 1: you're all like break most of its voice recordings of
Speaker 1: you guys processing it. But it was just so funny
Speaker 1: to read, like, I, I wait, I love Danny. Danny's
Speaker 1: hair is slicked. I he made a good choice, Mercedes.
Speaker 1: I'm still on the front about I miss Benedict. I
Speaker 1: don't know how to feel about. And then Taylor's like,
Speaker 1: I love Jabrian. Jabrian said that Nikki's hot and cool,
Speaker 1: go Jabel Like it was just Taylor loved Jabrian from
Speaker 1: the jump, and like, honestly, most people are probably like
Speaker 1: who um, but I guess he also really makes a
Speaker 1: great showing in the last two episodes, which I have
Speaker 1: not seen. Don't spoil them for me, just kidding. I
Speaker 1: love them, but I have not seen them because I
Speaker 1: lived them and I don't. I'm Chris and I have
Speaker 1: not been together, and I have no one to watch
Speaker 1: them with, and so you guys, no, I do not
Speaker 1: watch things about myself, and I certainly can't watch myself
Speaker 1: by myself. I'm going to try to binge it today
Speaker 1: on the plane back from l A, but I can't
Speaker 1: promise anything. I've heard it's so good. I am so
Speaker 1: moved by everyone freaking the funk out about the finale
Speaker 1: and all my friends just being like, don't spoil it,
Speaker 1: like they're all like watching it at different times, being like,
Speaker 1: holy sh it, do you always watch it yet? Please
Speaker 1: watch it? Like I haven't felt this much excitement for
Speaker 1: my friends about a show since The Bachelor Bachelorette, and
Speaker 1: that usually was just me and Nanya. You know, no
Speaker 1: one expected like a gun on set for someone to
Speaker 1: get shot at the end. I'm sorry, did you forget
Speaker 1: that someone got shot? It was bad? It's bad. It was.
Speaker 1: It wasn't no one died, but it was. It was
Speaker 1: very bloody. It was a T shirt gun and because
Speaker 1: those guys, we just wanted them to put one on.
Speaker 1: Did you notice nipples. No, but that that was also
Speaker 1: a thing, um that I didn't put because I didn't
Speaker 1: want to shame Mercedes, because I didn't know if his
Speaker 1: nipples were good or bad. Are they like they're like
Speaker 1: my dad's. I know that's the weird thing to say,
Speaker 1: but my dad is very perky nipples. My dad is
Speaker 1: like Weirdly, they look like pencil erasers, like brand new
Speaker 1: pencil erasers. Nipples. They're just like a third nipple. They
Speaker 1: look so tiny. Oh, they're tiny, Andrew, did you notice
Speaker 1: his nipples that almost like Andrew's version of hairlines? Wait,
Speaker 1: you don't know, Andrew, andrews um. If I had Mercedes nipples,
Speaker 1: I would have been a like a lawyer, like a
Speaker 1: billion dollars lawyer. Confidence. Your nipples are holding you back?
Speaker 1: They are have you wait them? You try walking around
Speaker 1: with these fucking utters? What have you got them pierced with?
Speaker 1: What hanger? There? No one of those things that they
Speaker 1: you know when a cow has that ring through its Yeah,
Speaker 1: then I would join the Noah's favorite band. Just lu Yeah,
Speaker 1: just here, just yapping away about trans kids or something.
Speaker 1: Gariola are large, m you can't get a good but
Speaker 1: they're pops. You know how like our nipples are on
Speaker 1: that like part of a month where it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: when our nipples when we're like maybe not ovulating, where
Speaker 1: it's like the type the time of month where your
Speaker 1: nipple is just like you don't want it to be seen.
Speaker 1: That's oh God speaking of Look at this fucking flower
Speaker 1: arrangement that Chris sent me. It is the most beautiful
Speaker 1: arrangement I've ever seen in my life. And this is
Speaker 1: four days out. It's still it's so you guys know me,
Speaker 1: Do I like flowers? Fuck? No, they die, They're a burden.
Speaker 1: This is a nice one because I just get to
Speaker 1: leave it here and I don't have to like, you know,
Speaker 1: throw it away and put it. Yeah, like like I'm
Speaker 1: miss America carrying it through. Um No, I usually I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh flowers. But I walked into my hotel
Speaker 1: room the other day. I was having a rough day,
Speaker 1: just really depressed, and I sent him like just a
Speaker 1: message being like I'm just feeling like total ask funck shit.
Speaker 1: And and then I went and did something. And then
Speaker 1: I came back and in my room, my room is
Speaker 1: clean because the maids to clean it, and sitting on
Speaker 1: this table was just this beautiful arrangement. And I was
Speaker 1: just like, please don't be from my agents, Please don't
Speaker 1: be from my agents. And it was it was not
Speaker 1: And he wrote a really funny card. I forget what
Speaker 1: he wrote. It was an inside joke that really made
Speaker 1: me laugh and um, and it was just I feel
Speaker 1: like I turned into a woman with these flowers because
Speaker 1: I finally love flowers and I understand. Yeah, he de
Speaker 1: flowered me by giving me flowers. Yeah, I feel like
Speaker 1: it was so fast. Can I give a shout out
Speaker 1: if you are ever in l A, go to seed
Speaker 1: l A s e e D seed l A for flowers.
Speaker 1: This arrangement, I mean you will convert someone who I
Speaker 1: like edible arrangements. I've tried to eat them. They're not
Speaker 1: going down, but um, they this this. And I've woken
Speaker 1: up every day and I'm like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: love every day. It's I keep telling him, it's the
Speaker 1: it's move over folders. Best part of waking up is
Speaker 1: these fucking flowers. I love them. And I'm going to start.
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna start getting flowers for myself and
Speaker 1: like putting them in my house and like trying to
Speaker 1: be that kind of woman, not because I'm trying to be,
Speaker 1: but because I just I think I might be. Now.
Speaker 1: I thought of you today when I was putting on
Speaker 1: jewelry for this podcast. I hope everyone appreciates it because
Speaker 1: I never wear layered necklaces, and I remembered your joke,
Speaker 1: Nick layered Hamilton's over here. You always think about how
Speaker 1: you want to be a woman who wears layered necklaces,
Speaker 1: and it's true. It is a thing, like it was.
Speaker 1: It's it's such a thing. I would stare at them
Speaker 1: on the train. And Noah has a layered necklace just
Speaker 1: like laying behind her on her draperies. That looks like
Speaker 1: for my key, it's an effortless layered necklace. Smaller buds,
Speaker 1: your little peonies. Okay, I have a near new arat,
Speaker 1: but budding nipples, but no, I don't even want you
Speaker 1: to call me your bud. That is disgusting too, because
Speaker 1: it feels bud is so gross when you're writing about nipples.
Speaker 1: When I remember Krisen and I um when girls started
Speaker 1: getting like budding nipples or whatever it is, you know,
Speaker 1: just puff puffing out for the first time, because you
Speaker 1: go from having like Mercedes two puffs about fifth sixth grade.
Speaker 1: That was back in the early two thousand or like
Speaker 1: in the nineties. Now girls are getting buds, like they're
Speaker 1: getting breasted, like with at three, you know, like they're
Speaker 1: starting their their periods at four. It's crazy because of
Speaker 1: milk or something. But um so Krison and I and
Speaker 1: I've said this on the podcast before, but it's it's
Speaker 1: so funny. We were so fucking funny. I just have
Speaker 1: to give a little pat on the back about how
Speaker 1: funny my friends were. We Kerson and I came up
Speaker 1: with in sixth grade. We didn't have boobs yet. I
Speaker 1: think we got our first training bras then, which is
Speaker 1: such a dumb name as well, training bra, Like it's
Speaker 1: weird to put wheels on your brat. I was waiting.
Speaker 1: I was like, what am I gonna say for training?
Speaker 1: And that was perfect. Do you remember where you got
Speaker 1: your training bra from? Yes? Famous Bar was bar? I
Speaker 1: know that sounds insane any Louis, Yeah, Joe's pubbed down
Speaker 1: the corner. No, if you're from St. Louis and grew
Speaker 1: up in the nineties, you know that Famous Bar is
Speaker 1: a department store that was, um, it was ridiculous. When
Speaker 1: we first moved. There were like famous bar what does
Speaker 1: it b A r R. That's where we went the
Speaker 1: junior section and um, Kristen's mom brought us sorry bourbon.
Speaker 1: Christen's mom brought us because my mom was kind of like,
Speaker 1: I don't need to do that, and she like, you know,
Speaker 1: she signed off on it, she gave she signed my
Speaker 1: permission slip. But I went and we got these just
Speaker 1: like I just all I wanted was those buds to
Speaker 1: be covered up. But the thing is training bras, unless
Speaker 1: they have a padding in it, the buds don't get covered.
Speaker 1: It's just like wearing another shirt and underneath it doesn't.
Speaker 1: If you're a mom out there that is buying, or
Speaker 1: a dad, single dad buying a training bra for your daughter,
Speaker 1: make sure it has a thicker layer. It's not gonna
Speaker 1: make your daughter a slut. It's not gonna make your
Speaker 1: have big gas boobs. Just make sure it has a
Speaker 1: thicker layer than a T shirt, you know, a training
Speaker 1: bra or like a because those buds need to be
Speaker 1: pushed down because the button and no one likes the person.
Speaker 1: And I used to call girls that didn't have training bras,
Speaker 1: which was were us um and like you know, we're
Speaker 1: just towing that line. The girls that had single fathers
Speaker 1: pretty much, or mothers who were like dead beat moms,
Speaker 1: the ones that didn't get bras yet. We used to say,
Speaker 1: and now you see this everywhere and it's kind of
Speaker 1: like a trend. We would call them in dire. We'd
Speaker 1: be like, she's so in dire because she was in
Speaker 1: dire need of a bra, and so we'd be like,
Speaker 1: she's so in dire, and it was just like a
Speaker 1: way to um. We had so many codes Zenda is
Speaker 1: is in dire a lot of times, but that's like
Speaker 1: such a good look for her. I learned that from
Speaker 1: my first boyfriend with no bra. He'd always go n
Speaker 1: B n B. You learned some when um, you were
Speaker 1: in the Hampton's with all of so many, But I
Speaker 1: think Anya was the one that was like you guys
Speaker 1: had I learned some Green Vass was um and this
Speaker 1: is bestiees have probably already heard this before, but it
Speaker 1: bears repeating. Green Vass was. We wanted to our friends
Speaker 1: started having sex. I mean, my friends started having sex,
Speaker 1: but I was not. But that we started like kind
Speaker 1: of doing things with boys, and we started wanting to
Speaker 1: be able to talk about these acts. And one time
Speaker 1: we were in my bedroom and it is me, halla,
Speaker 1: Kirsten and I think maybe Taylor, and we were like,
Speaker 1: what do we call blow jobs? Because we obviously can't
Speaker 1: talk about that in front of our parents, and we
Speaker 1: hadn't live the girned to the GiB or the girl
Speaker 1: where the giess shit, the gets to the go with
Speaker 1: the geek of the good to the gamest of the
Speaker 1: gable of the goods of gops. So instead we were like,
Speaker 1: you guys know what I mean, there's like four people
Speaker 1: out there there They're like, yes, gibberish, my lessons paid off,
Speaker 1: my my, my gibberish raining bro paid off. Um. It was, um,
Speaker 1: that should be I should create a half that I
Speaker 1: could teach you gibberish in two seconds. I want to
Speaker 1: teach the one episode. I'm going to commit to just
Speaker 1: five minutes of teaching besties gibberish. And once you commit
Speaker 1: to it, all you have to do is practice for
Speaker 1: like ten minutes and you'll get it. Okay, do you
Speaker 1: want to learn right now? Like literally? Okay? It was
Speaker 1: like I can't learn it. No, Well, here's what green bass.
Speaker 1: Let me just say with green basses because we were like,
Speaker 1: what should blowjob be? And I go, I don't know what.
Speaker 1: Because we called smoking pots. We called pots sweaters, so
Speaker 1: we'd be like, let's go. One of my first jokes
Speaker 1: was like, you know when you're growing up and you
Speaker 1: come up with code words so your parents don't know
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. Me and my friends we called
Speaker 1: pots sweaters, and so me and my friends we would
Speaker 1: go like, hey, mom, we're gonna go drive around the
Speaker 1: neighborhood and knit some sweaters. Like that was like she
Speaker 1: And then we come back with like, you know, bloodshot eyes,
Speaker 1: and she'd be like, where's your yarn and knitting needles?
Speaker 1: And I'd just be like the sweaters were so beautiful,
Speaker 1: Like it was just some joke about that, But like
Speaker 1: what we were so stupid? Like why was that we
Speaker 1: didn't knits what we did? No, that was not a
Speaker 1: thing we did. We should have picked a thing we did.
Speaker 1: So we also called it Debbie. We'd be like, do
Speaker 1: you have any Debbie? And then um, but green Vase
Speaker 1: came about because I was like, Okay, we gotta come
Speaker 1: up with a good one for for blow jobs because
Speaker 1: we're all going to be given them so much right
Speaker 1: to our teachers. No. Um, so we're looking around and
Speaker 1: I just I used to collect um glass, not vases,
Speaker 1: but like like bottles, you know, some that would be
Speaker 1: shaped like a fish or shaped like an Eiffel tower,
Speaker 1: like blown glass, just bottles that we would put just blowing. Um.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, like blow Like it was
Speaker 1: my thing. I was trying to find any identity. And
Speaker 1: my thing was like collecting these fucking bottles, really collecting
Speaker 1: those yes, yes, colored glass. I had a whole thing
Speaker 1: in my room. I want to get into collecting again. Tangent. Okay,
Speaker 1: so here's so I just go. But you guys, can't
Speaker 1: be something stupid, like we have to come up with
Speaker 1: a good coword. It can't be something stupid like green vase.
Speaker 1: And then we were all like that's it. And then
Speaker 1: we called vigorous hand jobs vigorous because it's like, whoa,
Speaker 1: and it's vigorous. You ever put them all together? Like
Speaker 1: I was, I sweater and vigorously. Yeah, he and I
Speaker 1: needed some sweaters. And then things got vigorous and I
Speaker 1: fucking broke a green vase and it got all over
Speaker 1: my sweater. Wait wait, yes, yeah, my actual one. Wait
Speaker 1: come got on your weed. Oh no, that don't really
Speaker 1: ruin it. So here's how you do. So before we
Speaker 1: get to break, here is a quick lesson in gibberish.
Speaker 1: And I'm gonna do it once and don't worry. To
Speaker 1: Hollow right now is listening and she's going, you're all
Speaker 1: gonna know halla. If anyone gave a ship, they would
Speaker 1: all learn it because this is accessible. There there's a
Speaker 1: thing that people know, they don't people are not going
Speaker 1: to learn it. Don't worry. She's slamming right now, going
Speaker 1: like no nicki and it's like once a year and
Speaker 1: what she's doing another go here we go. So what
Speaker 1: gibberish is, it's so simple. You basically you take English
Speaker 1: and every word you break down by syllables and syllables
Speaker 1: are you know, nikki is nick key or it could
Speaker 1: be nick key or it could be nick key like
Speaker 1: either you know syllables are how many sounds are? If
Speaker 1: you don't, if you didn't go to school, That's what
Speaker 1: a syllable is pretty much is like how like um uh,
Speaker 1: Andrew has two syllables on as two syllables know as
Speaker 1: two syllables. Anyway, So let's take um, let's take um. Okay.
Speaker 1: So then what you do is once you break it
Speaker 1: down it by syllables nicky, right, and it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: if I say ni or nick and then key or
Speaker 1: nick key doesn't matter. Okay. So then you take what
Speaker 1: your prime word that you're going to be inserting. And
Speaker 1: I know this sounds complicated. I'm not a good teacher,
Speaker 1: but it's itaga I t h A G is the
Speaker 1: is the is the guy. Okay, Now you're gonna put that.
Speaker 1: You're gonna take every word you're gonna break into consonance,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be able to do this without thinking
Speaker 1: within one hour of practicing this and not even practicing it,
Speaker 1: like for a full hour, just like kind of throwing
Speaker 1: it around. So you would take nick and I would
Speaker 1: put itaga. Um. You're never gonna start with the letter
Speaker 1: I with itaga unless it is a word that starts
Speaker 1: with a vowel. So you're always going to take the
Speaker 1: first consonant, the first sound, whether it's mine, would be
Speaker 1: no and okay. So and then you're gonna complete the
Speaker 1: end of that sound, which is ick. So Niki is ick,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna put in betwe in it. So it's
Speaker 1: gonna be nither gick, so I put it thega son
Speaker 1: if then the gick and then key. So I'm gonna
Speaker 1: take key now or I can take E because I've
Speaker 1: already got the ki at the at the end of
Speaker 1: into the gick. Okay, but key, if I'm taking key,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna take the K sound and go kill the
Speaker 1: kill the and then and then end it with the E.
Speaker 1: So key, so Noah would be okay, no uh so
Speaker 1: ni the go and then uh is the last part
Speaker 1: of her name. Now there's no U consonant, there's no
Speaker 1: harsh like consonant. It's just uh, which is a vowel.
Speaker 1: So you're just gonna go in the gun the go
Speaker 1: in the g Anya would also start with an A,
Speaker 1: so it's not gonna say have a sound, it's gonna
Speaker 1: go is the gone. So you're gonna start with on
Speaker 1: and then yeah. Yeah it's the second one, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna go yi the with the start with why yeh
Speaker 1: the and then g because it's on. Yeah. So let's
Speaker 1: try Andrew try us like the word you know, I'm well, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess so yeah, so you you be the y.
Speaker 1: It's not really about if it's an a noun like
Speaker 1: the letter itself. It's about the sound it makes. So
Speaker 1: if it makes it sound like it or uh other
Speaker 1: or anya, then you just go with the guther or
Speaker 1: the the girl. Now if it's um, something like the
Speaker 1: word you, y oh you, you're gonna go yeah the
Speaker 1: goo because there is that that yeah sound. So let's
Speaker 1: try Andrew, Andrew, try your own name. And this is
Speaker 1: totally a safe space. I'm not gonna make fun of you.
Speaker 1: If you can't get it, I'm not a good teacher.
Speaker 1: It's hard in the god no, So let's take your name.
Speaker 1: Take your name first, in no, separate your two letters
Speaker 1: to okay and okay, So do that one first. So
Speaker 1: it ends with then so and is great because and
Speaker 1: is a word that we're gonna use all the time, right,
Speaker 1: So let's do and so because it's an and it
Speaker 1: says with an a, so it's eva and yeah, that's said.
Speaker 1: Now you said at the gond that would be Andrew. Okay,
Speaker 1: Well that's how I the gan. Okay, then what's the
Speaker 1: second one is? So it's like what the goog? Yeah,
Speaker 1: because you're ending it with you Drew. Okay, Okay, we're
Speaker 1: gonna go to break, So let's do the word break, Anya,
Speaker 1: do you want to try the word break bre the
Speaker 1: gig the gate? Okay? Um? One more Andrew Um podcast,
Speaker 1: Can Do Freak podcast podcast pop Pot. No, it's always
Speaker 1: going to be in the gut. So the only you're
Speaker 1: never gonna a word is never gonna start with anything
Speaker 1: other than pie. It's always gonna be pi. Okay. So
Speaker 1: the god the god because the gassed. Yes, so now
Speaker 1: I know it. So the go with the g of
Speaker 1: the guard, the go in the gang to the goop
Speaker 1: of the gig where the guy at the goal, and
Speaker 1: again with the gil be the g of the gag
Speaker 1: with the gith the gorse to the go and the
Speaker 1: after the girl of the kiss in the game to
Speaker 1: the goal. Yeah, coming, alright, we're back. Um. So sorry
Speaker 1: if that was a waste of everyone's time. But I
Speaker 1: swear to God, if I can learn it, you can.
Speaker 1: I am not someone who is good with language or
Speaker 1: learning languages. It's not my forte. It's my will forte.
Speaker 1: And I'm not even good at remembering which when he is,
Speaker 1: I confuse him with will hate Bill Hayter. Will aren't it?
Speaker 1: I don't know. Welcome back to the show. I'm in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles, Anya is in New York. Anya. Um, you
Speaker 1: said that you wasted a lot of your time last
Speaker 1: night with a TV show and that you have been
Speaker 1: I don't understand people who watch things they don't like.
Speaker 1: Please walk me through this. Okay, well you're freezing mhm
Speaker 1: strong silent type. Okay, how's this? I'm having some connectivity issues.
Speaker 1: Let me move over here. I was saying that I
Speaker 1: felt really sick, so I didn't have any energy. Two
Speaker 1: think of a watch? Yeah, yeah, exactly. Press. So what
Speaker 1: show did you decide to watch? And you've been on
Speaker 1: a binge of like these shows about mennipulative people, right,
Speaker 1: and like these I've been going down a cult documentary.
Speaker 1: I watched the Teal Swan doc with you guys in
Speaker 1: the Hampton's. I watched that one's called the deep Water
Speaker 1: or something crazy one on HBO. It's all HBO Max.
Speaker 1: I think I know that one is who the Way
Speaker 1: Down about an antorextic woman who tells you that if
Speaker 1: you worship food instead of God, you're going to hell.
Speaker 1: Well she's right. In my life went to hell as
Speaker 1: soon as I did that. You're supposed to worship food?
Speaker 1: No She's like, you need to transfer your obsession with
Speaker 1: food to being obsessed with God. Well, that's what antorectics do,
Speaker 1: is are obsessed with food. They people think that we're
Speaker 1: not obsessed with food, but the truth is we are,
Speaker 1: so isn't Did you, as an person who maybe has
Speaker 1: had struggles with food stuff, find flaw in that logic
Speaker 1: of like her saying, as an antorextic, don't be obsessed
Speaker 1: with food. I mean, yeah, it's like easier seven done, lady,
Speaker 1: And why are you seventy five pounds? Like She's like,
Speaker 1: I just love the Lord and it's a fascinating du Yeah,
Speaker 1: Jesus bloody. I swear to God. I remember when I
Speaker 1: was interactic, even like going to church, like with a
Speaker 1: friend and having to maybe eat that wafer was like, no, like,
Speaker 1: I swear to God. It's so fun. I swear to God.
Speaker 1: I went to church. I swear to fucking God. Never.
Speaker 1: So what would you do when they go to feed
Speaker 1: you to wafer? Would you just go? I would just
Speaker 1: pretend like it was a moral issue for me, or
Speaker 1: like that I was an atheist or something like. I
Speaker 1: would do anything. I remember going to even farther and
Speaker 1: put the priest's finger in your mouth and he's like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have even done that. I was holding my
Speaker 1: breath and paneras because I didn't want to breathe in
Speaker 1: the smell of bread because I thought it would have
Speaker 1: calories in it. That's how insane you are, my god,
Speaker 1: I would I remember going on a senior trip to Chicago.
Speaker 1: We went to go see the Blue Man Group and
Speaker 1: they do this thing where they like bring someone on
Speaker 1: stage and they like have the person eat like marshmallows.
Speaker 1: And I was like, if they chose choose me, I
Speaker 1: don't know what I'm I don't know what I'm gonna do.
Speaker 1: Like it was the most as an anxiety I've ever
Speaker 1: had in my entire life. And I've done you know,
Speaker 1: I've been on TV and been on live TV. It's
Speaker 1: I've never felt that anxiety before, Like what could happen?
Speaker 1: Like and I threw out a first pitch and I
Speaker 1: don't know how to do sports like that gave me
Speaker 1: more anxiety. Did do you relate to that? On you
Speaker 1: being scared of like having to be forced to eat
Speaker 1: in situations where you're like I can't. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: it's been a long time, and I didn't have antarexy
Speaker 1: like you were like a hardcore committed uh type. My
Speaker 1: my thing was literally committed to hospital. But I was
Speaker 1: definitely afraid of food and I would have a major anxiety.
Speaker 1: I mean. The thing with this cut all these cults
Speaker 1: is they always start off pretty reasonable, like these are
Speaker 1: good ideas, you know, and then it takes a turn
Speaker 1: like what she's saying, isn't that scandalous? Like you know
Speaker 1: a lot of compulsive eaters are obsessed with food and
Speaker 1: have lost their way spiritually maybe if you you know,
Speaker 1: even to themselves. So it got bad when the abuse starts.
Speaker 1: That's in part two or part three. Yeah, it always
Speaker 1: they just they always as soon as someone else tells
Speaker 1: them like I don't want I question this thing, and
Speaker 1: they In the Teel Swan documentary, it's just a great
Speaker 1: moment where one guy is just like the guy goes, well,
Speaker 1: who's who are you? Who are you answering to? Like
Speaker 1: who's checking you? And she's like why do I need
Speaker 1: to have someone checking me? And he's just like, well,
Speaker 1: because you say that, we have to have people like
Speaker 1: and she's like, well, it really makes me concerned that
Speaker 1: you don't you think that maybe I need someone checking
Speaker 1: me and that maybe you are not as invested in
Speaker 1: this as I like. And she's funning. What about when
Speaker 1: she said the fastest person in the world, she compares
Speaker 1: herself to the fastest person in the world. She she
Speaker 1: actually makes good logic that I'm like, that's why she
Speaker 1: is a cult leader because even I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's a good point. She's like, well, if I were
Speaker 1: the fastest person in the world and I told you
Speaker 1: I was, and I was, and you said, well, how
Speaker 1: can you be the fastest person in the world if
Speaker 1: there's no one faster than you? What would So? So
Speaker 1: I can't be the fastest person in the the world because
Speaker 1: there's no one faster than me. What what's right? And
Speaker 1: I go, God, she's fucking good, like taking notes. I loved.
Speaker 1: I mean it was uncomfortable because she's getting confronted and
Speaker 1: you know, this girl is like is crazy and that
Speaker 1: she's not right, and so there is discomfort in knowing,
Speaker 1: like like in like how her being questioned. I don't know,
Speaker 1: it just came off so like egotistical and like how
Speaker 1: how could you even think the question? It's like I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like I don't I think I saw too
Speaker 1: much of her life. She'd been married up your hair
Speaker 1: in a bathtub? Yeah, your eyebrows? Can we start there,
Speaker 1: start somewhere. I'd love to start there, but I don't
Speaker 1: know where they start. So does she have like a
Speaker 1: god all your hair? She's like a god? Is that? Yes?
Speaker 1: And I think I mean she was and it was
Speaker 1: terribly abused, so like her way of or was she
Speaker 1: because part of her thing is convincing people that they
Speaker 1: were abused and then isolating them from their families by
Speaker 1: being like, your dad molested you and the dad's like
Speaker 1: I didn't, and it's like, well, of course he's saying that,
Speaker 1: and then she like makes you eat frog stuff that
Speaker 1: makes you trip, and then she's like, your dad sucking
Speaker 1: molested you. So even like it made me question her
Speaker 1: own story of like what happened to her? But yeah,
Speaker 1: what was the show last night that you watched on
Speaker 1: you and that you were like on you said, I
Speaker 1: skipped the second episode and I didn't even realize I
Speaker 1: did because it was such a bad show. The most
Speaker 1: hated man on the Internet about the guy that started
Speaker 1: that website, the porn porn site. I didn't even finish
Speaker 1: it. It It just made me feel so bad. They were
Speaker 1: showing clips of all the horrific things that he would
Speaker 1: they would upload, and it's just depraved stuff. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: may will you tell me details? Like people thing, peautiful pooping. Wait,
Speaker 1: what do you mean you the revenge I don't even
Speaker 1: know the premise. I know what revenge porn is, but
Speaker 1: I don't know that there was a site for it. Specifically,
Speaker 1: there was a website called Yeah you actually watched the
Speaker 1: Doctor just remember it from history. This guy starts to
Speaker 1: set anybody up or is anyone up or whatever? That
Speaker 1: soft It's like all these nude photos of people, and
Speaker 1: it links to the people's social media, so it would show, like,
Speaker 1: you know, fifteen pictures of naked Nicky Glazer, and then
Speaker 1: it'd be like and here's her Instagram, and here's her address,
Speaker 1: and here's her um Facebook. Yeah. Well, a lot of
Speaker 1: guys would take photos of their girls. Then when they
Speaker 1: get cheated on, or they they cheat on the girls
Speaker 1: and the girl get breaks up with them, then they
Speaker 1: upload it to go you fucking bitch, you fucking horror.
Speaker 1: No one's gonna want you now, I'm going to ruin you.
Speaker 1: And and it still happens. They do it all the time.
Speaker 1: It's like there's not just one site for it. So
Speaker 1: this guy started a site that was just for that, right,
Speaker 1: and it really took off and he got famous off
Speaker 1: being a sociopath and like tweeting constantly, like basically daring
Speaker 1: people to kill themselves or you know, like just you know,
Speaker 1: one percent of people are sociopaths of the human population.
Speaker 1: It seems kind of low. Mm hmm. It seems high
Speaker 1: to me. Oh yeah, one in a hundred people. I
Speaker 1: mean that's like one on every flight you're on, there's
Speaker 1: one person that's a psychopath, and so ziopath and psychopath
Speaker 1: I think are interchangeable. Um, by most professional standards. This
Speaker 1: guy making money off of it, was it like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you have to pay to get on there. Yeah, I mean,
Speaker 1: who's like, oh man, I gotta sell my shoes on
Speaker 1: re venge porn dot com. You know. It's it's like
Speaker 1: a lot of people came to see me in Atlantic
Speaker 1: City because of that banner I bought. Um um this.
Speaker 1: There's another guy being tried right now for a website
Speaker 1: called like girls Do Porn or a production company, and
Speaker 1: I mean it's the same old story they put an
Speaker 1: ad on Craigslist looking for models. Eight teening up girls answer,
Speaker 1: they add, they fly the girl to l A from
Speaker 1: her little po Dung Town, put her up at some fuckings.
Speaker 1: They pick her up at the airport. They don't even
Speaker 1: bring her to the They bring her to a hotel
Speaker 1: for the modeling shoot. On the way to the hotel,
Speaker 1: they tell the girl what it sounds exactly like nicky. No,
Speaker 1: it's too late, that flowers. And the revenge is that
Speaker 1: people are going to have to watch it. It's not pretty.
Speaker 1: Um so uh, they get. So what they would do
Speaker 1: is they get the girl and and this has really
Speaker 1: made me just go, I can't with porn like I
Speaker 1: gotta I gotta put up. I gotta vegan it pretty
Speaker 1: soon here, guys, because it's so much porn has made
Speaker 1: this way. They get the this was a guy that
Speaker 1: would do these tactics over and over ight. Now he's
Speaker 1: being suoned. There's this huge lawsuit. Um that's happening right now.
Speaker 1: So fly the girls out. On the way from the airport,
Speaker 1: they pick him up in the car like at the
Speaker 1: baggage game. Um. And and within a day, I mean,
Speaker 1: these girls would answer and add and the next day,
Speaker 1: they're flown out. They on the way to the hotel,
Speaker 1: they'd be told it wasn't really a modeling shoot, it
Speaker 1: was actually porn. At this point, this guy is kind
Speaker 1: of intimidating. He you're in a car with him, you've
Speaker 1: already flown out. He's put you, he's paid for your ticket,
Speaker 1: he's like picked you up at the airport. You kind
Speaker 1: of feel indebted. You're eighteen, you're young. You don't like
Speaker 1: your first time in l A. Then they go, but
Speaker 1: don't worry, it's oh and they make you send nude shots.
Speaker 1: So they already kind of know these girls are maybe
Speaker 1: down to be a little sexual, right, Like they know
Speaker 1: it's a sexual modeling shoot. So these girls have set
Speaker 1: nudes um just and like sent their fucking butt holes,
Speaker 1: I bet. And then they get the job and it's
Speaker 1: good money, you know for a girl that's working at
Speaker 1: fucking I don't know, Custard stand over the summer. It's
Speaker 1: like it's insane. They and it's maybe it's like a
Speaker 1: thousand dollars, but still that's like insane money for these girls.
Speaker 1: And then they go they get to the hotel, there's
Speaker 1: so much paperwork they have to sign. They tell the
Speaker 1: girls that the video is only going to be distributed
Speaker 1: in Australia privately on videotapes for people who pay for
Speaker 1: them and will not be end up online. And it's
Speaker 1: only for select buyers. Um that will not be distributed online.
Speaker 1: It will never end up online, which by the way,
Speaker 1: isn't a thing. Young women listening. Nothing you do can
Speaker 1: be sure, like there's nothing that won't end up online,
Speaker 1: or can't. There's no way to make sure something doesn't
Speaker 1: end up online. But these girls don't know that. You know,
Speaker 1: the education is not great in Michigan or whatever. So
Speaker 1: they go no tons of offense, get it togetheranant flant Michigan.
Speaker 1: The water is still bad. Bring back our girls. I
Speaker 1: don't think it's the same cause, okay, so um. So
Speaker 1: they then they make them sign all this way, and
Speaker 1: this is like the story over and over all. These
Speaker 1: girls have the same story. They get to the place,
Speaker 1: they make these girls sign so much paperwork and they
Speaker 1: have a flight out that night. So they just want
Speaker 1: one shoot with these girls because they're disposable. I mean,
Speaker 1: they're not going to use them again after what they
Speaker 1: do to them. The girls a flight that night, so
Speaker 1: they're like, hey, we gotta do the shoot. Figure like
Speaker 1: sign this paper. So they rushed them through the paperwork
Speaker 1: and act like them reading it, which these girls barely
Speaker 1: can fucking probably understand any of this legal ease that
Speaker 1: they're going through. So they sign all this stuff, which
Speaker 1: is pretty much signing way all their rights, and they
Speaker 1: get into the shoot and they're told it's going to
Speaker 1: take thirty minutes for this porn shoot that is only
Speaker 1: going to be you know, um, this kind of sex
Speaker 1: act that they agree to. They get in there five
Speaker 1: hours of shooting with minimal breaks, and every time they break,
Speaker 1: they're like, your flight is coming and we need to
Speaker 1: get this. Like you're you're making everyone wait, making these
Speaker 1: girls feel like a burden. I'm a thirty eight eight
Speaker 1: or so year old woman who still feels like a
Speaker 1: burden all the time to everyone. I mean, I could
Speaker 1: see myself getting roped into something like this, let alone,
Speaker 1: if I was fucking eighteen years old, and so then
Speaker 1: literally so then these girls are brutally penetrated in every
Speaker 1: way with by multiple men. There's it's not at all
Speaker 1: what they agreed to, but because they do, you know,
Speaker 1: sign the paperwork, and they are consenting in the sense
Speaker 1: that they say, sure, that's fine, but they keep pressing.
Speaker 1: You know, these guys are master manipulators. So this by
Speaker 1: the time that plane hits the ground back in Detroit
Speaker 1: or wherever they fucking fly back to, it's already online.
Speaker 1: I mean it takes about that's an exaggeration, but it
Speaker 1: takes about three weeks. And these girls get text from
Speaker 1: their friends saying there's videos of you. That same day,
Speaker 1: all their parents find out, their aunts and uncles, yeah
Speaker 1: right down, and it's all backwards to and so. And
Speaker 1: these girls lives are ruined, I mean their parents. These
Speaker 1: girls come from these good like Christian like, like small
Speaker 1: town like places, and they have a thousand dollars in
Speaker 1: their pocket, which which is after the fact, probably like
Speaker 1: six hundred. It's already long gone. And their families are
Speaker 1: They get a strange from their families. No one wants
Speaker 1: to talk to them. Every guy thinks they're fucking slut,
Speaker 1: a stupid skank. You know. These towns where they're from,
Speaker 1: their their reputations are ruined. Their run out of town,
Speaker 1: and they have nowhere to go. They have no they
Speaker 1: have nowhere to go after that, and now they have
Speaker 1: this thing on their record and they're it's and so
Speaker 1: this guy is being tried right now. He's such a
Speaker 1: piece of shi it really. I mean, if you're someone
Speaker 1: out there who watches porn like I do, we gotta
Speaker 1: do better anymore. I feel like there should be a
Speaker 1: law where like like, well they signed the paperwork, but
Speaker 1: it's like unless the PaperWorks like four sentences and like
Speaker 1: Times New Roman Career, Yeah, double space where it's like
Speaker 1: you if it's like a bunch of Mumbo Jump both
Speaker 1: Magatha stuff, you know it should be Yeah, that's it's bad.
Speaker 1: It's so bad. But you know what I mean though,
Speaker 1: like if it feels like it could be hidden, that
Speaker 1: should be. Can I say the worst thing of it all?
Speaker 1: Okay that you saw one of these before the documentary.
Speaker 1: I've definitely seen one of these. Like there's no doubt
Speaker 1: this guy is prolific, and like this isn't like one
Speaker 1: website you go to. This is he has his videos
Speaker 1: on everyone porn website there is. We're talking red two,
Speaker 1: we're talking X two, We're talking um x Hamster, We're
Speaker 1: talking porn Hub, We're talking I mean everything, And the
Speaker 1: problem is there's something at this point in my porn
Speaker 1: viewing I enjoy and I talked about it in my
Speaker 1: first special, and in my enjoyment of this has only
Speaker 1: gotten worse. Reluctant porn where the girl is like I
Speaker 1: don't know, like, um, I can't, I shouldn't. And then
Speaker 1: it's like my joke was like I love when she's
Speaker 1: like no, okay, Like I I like it, and I
Speaker 1: like now. I like porn where the man is like
Speaker 1: really old and the girl there's no way the girls
Speaker 1: attracted to him, but she's just doing it because she
Speaker 1: wants to my relationship. I know. I'm sorry, I've been
Speaker 1: watching your sexist and I could you guys move to
Speaker 1: the apartment across her mind, across the way. No. I like.
Speaker 1: I like videos where the girl is like and I'm
Speaker 1: not alone here. I remember, you know, friends of mine
Speaker 1: admitting to liking the same thing of like it's you know,
Speaker 1: it's a sub genre. It's age gap where the girl
Speaker 1: is like, she's just doing it and she's kind of
Speaker 1: enjoying herself. Sometimes she comes but like, I just like
Speaker 1: that the guy is like so appreciative and like, I'm
Speaker 1: so old and this is the best thing that's ever
Speaker 1: happened to me and I'm about to die and he's
Speaker 1: like got cobwebs on his dick, and like, I just
Speaker 1: I like it. I like, I don't. And what I'm
Speaker 1: looking for now is like I can't help that. I
Speaker 1: like that. I'm not a bad person because I like that.
Speaker 1: I do not want anyone to be victimized. I do
Speaker 1: not mind, though, that being dramatized in porn, and that
Speaker 1: is what I have to seek out um, and I
Speaker 1: do still enjoy it. If you knew everyone belonged to
Speaker 1: a union and was being paid well and was yeah,
Speaker 1: that's why I pay for porn. I pay like a
Speaker 1: hundred dollars a month for all my subscriptions. But the
Speaker 1: thing is, I still don't even trust the subscriptions because
Speaker 1: they're still getting they're still outsourcing their production dog fart Like,
Speaker 1: can I trust dog fart productions? I don't know. They
Speaker 1: make great stuff, but I don't know if I could
Speaker 1: dress them. Yeah, I think, like I think if it
Speaker 1: was like a movie and it was like, well, these
Speaker 1: actors are amazing, but if it's really like this is
Speaker 1: really believable, they're probably they're not the best actor, so
Speaker 1: it's probably close to the truth. You know what I mean,
Speaker 1: that's the tough part. But they're so method by hating
Speaker 1: fucking this old weird man. Well, I don't want the
Speaker 1: girl to be like sad and like I hate this,
Speaker 1: like I want the girl because that's the kind of
Speaker 1: sex I like where I'm kind of like pushed to
Speaker 1: my limits, you know, where it's like almost like a
Speaker 1: Berry's boot camp, where you're like, if I really had
Speaker 1: a choice, I would like to not be doing this
Speaker 1: fucking burpee right now. But I know that if I
Speaker 1: get through it, I'll feel accomplished, like a nickname for
Speaker 1: an old guy. It's not like you have to take
Speaker 1: a viagra and can't and then have to not have sex.
Speaker 1: Other day, Andrew admitted that he took a viagra to
Speaker 1: prepare for sex and Bretta saw the rapper in the trash,
Speaker 1: but then he couldn't have sex because he had heartburn,
Speaker 1: and so he had her if I couldn't have sex,
Speaker 1: because he announced, It's true they make viagra pill that
Speaker 1: could do heartburn, and a cock would be fucking brilliant
Speaker 1: zandac and I did. I ended up doing it, but
Speaker 1: by the time the Zantac kicked in, your boy, it
Speaker 1: was past my bedtime. It was okay, um, yeah, let's
Speaker 1: do the news first. Oh it's Monday, folks, you know
Speaker 1: what that means. It is Monday. I hope you're having
Speaker 1: all the swells out there. We sure are here and
Speaker 1: all the different cities we're in. It's kind of crazy.
Speaker 1: Four people hanging out different cities. One computer wild. I
Speaker 1: mean there's lots of computers. It's computer huh support different
Speaker 1: computer computers in front of him. Yes, thank you for
Speaker 1: see it in my way empathizing. Alright, no regrets. I
Speaker 1: had a few. Al Right, I'll do quick plugs. Sanya
Speaker 1: is our guest here today. We have um a lot
Speaker 1: of unreleased songs and exclusive live live streams on her Patreon,
Speaker 1: Patreon dot com slash Anya Marina. We have Good Clean
Speaker 1: Filth on HBO Max, the last two episodes of f
Speaker 1: Boy Island, Uh, featuring the one and only Nicki Klaser
Speaker 1: and Andrew behind the scenes on f Y Island and
Speaker 1: in the green room on Good Clean Filth, which you
Speaker 1: could see him in the beginning yea Glaser dot com
Speaker 1: slash tour. And Andrew Colin is going to be on
Speaker 1: tour Andrew Coollin Comedy dot com Ye comments on Tuesday,
Speaker 1: I don't want six people there and there's gonna be
Speaker 1: so many people. What are you scaring? So there's six
Speaker 1: people there, like, it doesn't mean anything. That The best
Speaker 1: that part about that is no one will know that
Speaker 1: there were six people there. Only six people will not
Speaker 1: pay a whole crew. Jake Owen will know that there's
Speaker 1: six That's the best part about When I used to
Speaker 1: go to do clubs and no one would show up
Speaker 1: because no one knew who I was or even I
Speaker 1: did have teth I have TV credits at the time,
Speaker 1: and no one would show up. And they sometimes they
Speaker 1: still don't. There have been shows that have been like
Speaker 1: not full. Um, it doesn't matter because no one knows
Speaker 1: because no one's there. So it actually doesn't have to
Speaker 1: make a you have to make a tape for Instagram, Nikki,
Speaker 1: but they but then plug in the laughs. No one
Speaker 1: will know because you can't laugh on Instagram or not,
Speaker 1: like you don't see the audience anyway. Yeah, no, I know,
Speaker 1: I'm not that where I'm kind of but it's it's fine,
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm good everything. It's going to work on Xantech.
Speaker 1: But yes, next hard hard Heart Okay, alright, what's a
Speaker 1: good seg um. Recent research has challenged the accepted opinion
Speaker 1: that men like violent porn and women like romantic porn.
Speaker 1: Surveys revealed that most men are turned off by violent porn,
Speaker 1: and furthermore, at least some women report finding depictions of
Speaker 1: aggression against women to be a turn on. This suggests
Speaker 1: that interest in violent porn may not be so much
Speaker 1: a difference of gender as one of personality. Oh I
Speaker 1: thought it did say gender, and then no, it's still
Speaker 1: breaking the like yeah, like because it doesn't seem to
Speaker 1: be just mostly men like this and women like this.
Speaker 1: There are more women than they think, and it's probably
Speaker 1: the reason that people are even interested in the first places, personality,
Speaker 1: not gender. Um, yeah, that's interesting. I violence in porn,
Speaker 1: it's like, it's it's it's tough to be turned on
Speaker 1: by that kind of thing. I do not like violence,
Speaker 1: I would say in porn. I don't like slapping. I
Speaker 1: don't like people looking like they're sad or scared. But
Speaker 1: I do like uh, I do like um, you know, punishment,
Speaker 1: and I like suffering. But I like suffering in the
Speaker 1: same way that I like suffering in my life. In
Speaker 1: like at the end of it, there's an accomplishment, like
Speaker 1: the way if you run a marathon, like that's suffering
Speaker 1: and you know you're not. If you watch someone you
Speaker 1: know running a decathlon or something and you enjoy that,
Speaker 1: people aren't like you're such a you're fucked up. You
Speaker 1: like watching people suffer. It's like, No, I like the
Speaker 1: I like the end where the persons like I just
Speaker 1: fucking got ten loads of calm on my face, Like
Speaker 1: that is a triumph, Like that is a new Olympic sport.
Speaker 1: I think, Yeah, I mean, I really do feel like
Speaker 1: these girls are insanely talented and like I just I'm
Speaker 1: I'm in awe of the stamina it takes to do
Speaker 1: what they do. The men I'm not as impressed with
Speaker 1: at all because they use viagara, But women, um, I
Speaker 1: really am, Like I'm blown away and a lot of
Speaker 1: their assholes are blown out. A lot of my guy
Speaker 1: friends we like this. Uh if you type it in,
Speaker 1: it's actually and you porn and porn up too. But
Speaker 1: they had their own website back in the day. It
Speaker 1: was called x art dot com. X art is the
Speaker 1: kind of porn and it was like very girlfriend, boyfriend,
Speaker 1: beautiful beautiful people like making love, you know, and we
Speaker 1: were all like, yo, did you see fucking Nicolette make
Speaker 1: love like so soft? But you see, I hate that
Speaker 1: kind of porn. Me my boys got down the tenderness.
Speaker 1: I like um rough. But you know what I like
Speaker 1: is not hard, like not fast. I like like slow
Speaker 1: hard if I don't like tears. I don't like when
Speaker 1: a girl's makeup is getting ruined. I don't like I
Speaker 1: like that because she's being because when you choke, you cry. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't like when your eyeliner runs. I like that,
Speaker 1: it's so ugly. What do you like an into? I
Speaker 1: just like lazy, like NASA stuff, like just like a
Speaker 1: girl getting a massage and then it's like, whoop sees,
Speaker 1: it's a surprise massage. That's all I'm interested in. I
Speaker 1: don't like in the those I like the massages too.
Speaker 1: I don't like when the guy ends up sucking her though,
Speaker 1: I just want him to finger her the whole time.
Speaker 1: I don't want his penis to be involved. I'm always like,
Speaker 1: that's gone too far and he should be reported. But
Speaker 1: if he just like this, sir, that's I'm um. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I just don't believe that women really get
Speaker 1: that much joy out of just a dick without a
Speaker 1: vibrator as well, at least I don't. I mean, and
Speaker 1: that is with every dick I've ever had in my life.
Speaker 1: I want, I need clip to, I need and penis
Speaker 1: and I just when we're gonna guys are gonna grow,
Speaker 1: like a little above your decks would be amazing, like
Speaker 1: in ten million years where all I have, Like I'm different,
Speaker 1: Like many women can just do this, like you know,
Speaker 1: can rub their own clip while they're having a enis
Speaker 1: inside them and have a good time. Or it can
Speaker 1: even just like rub on the top of the guys
Speaker 1: or the guy can rub it like with his hands.
Speaker 1: But I just I've never been, as Ashley Hesseltine calls it,
Speaker 1: a girl who can play acoustic. I need I need
Speaker 1: to plug into an amp so I can't. I can't
Speaker 1: plug a banjo at a bluegrass festival. I need sucking.
Speaker 1: I need to go to plug it. Yes I do, Um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I just do. But that's nothing to say of like
Speaker 1: there's no dick. I'm not talking about like, oh I
Speaker 1: need something else because the dick isn't good enough. It's
Speaker 1: like I it would no matter what. But that that
Speaker 1: is why I'm when most penetrative sex I watch on
Speaker 1: on uh in porn. If there isn't a hatachi one involved,
Speaker 1: there must be another dick there too. There's gotta be
Speaker 1: more than just if it's just one dick in a woman.
Speaker 1: I am bored. It's like watching I don't care. It's
Speaker 1: so it's softcore. That is the most boring sex to
Speaker 1: me in the world. And I do love a penis
Speaker 1: inside me just to be connected to my partner and
Speaker 1: to make love. But am I going to come from that?
Speaker 1: Probably not? And and and there is no no way
Speaker 1: that any I think I'm broken in a way maybe
Speaker 1: or something, but I cannot. Like I forgot my vibrator,
Speaker 1: l are you? Were you ever? Never? There was never
Speaker 1: a time before the toy Like once you introduced a toy,
Speaker 1: did it changed things? I didn't really try. Um, I
Speaker 1: was just never coming from sex ever when I didn't
Speaker 1: use a toy ever ever. Ever, I enjoyed it. It
Speaker 1: felt good, but I didn't know how good it could
Speaker 1: feel because I didn't have orgasms before toys were incorporated
Speaker 1: into my life. Was just too Does the penis ever
Speaker 1: get in the way of a toy, like would you rather?
Speaker 1: It's only it only makes it better. That's the thing
Speaker 1: I always like to say. A toy is good on
Speaker 1: its own, but a dick inside you with that toy,
Speaker 1: it's only going to make the toy better. A penis
Speaker 1: will never take away from the toy. I always it's
Speaker 1: like having pie all a mode, like your dick is
Speaker 1: a mode, you know, like I want. I don't want
Speaker 1: dry pie. It's fine, I'll take it if that's all
Speaker 1: I can get, but I want it makes it better.
Speaker 1: A toy alone is fine, A dick alone is also fine,
Speaker 1: But together is when they really it's like Simon and
Speaker 1: fucking Garfunkle. Yeah, yeah, that sounds like I mean, that's
Speaker 1: not a good actual A dick at Landmark, Yeah, I don't,
Speaker 1: sounding like a JFK speech films. It's like a dick
Speaker 1: alone is not strong, A vibrator alone is not strong.
Speaker 1: But when they're together, they are tango and cash. But
Speaker 1: I do love a penis alone when it is like
Speaker 1: I just want to have a connected experience with my
Speaker 1: partner and it's not about because sex for me is
Speaker 1: not always about achieving an orgasm, and I wish more
Speaker 1: men understood that women don't always need to come, and
Speaker 1: it's okay if we don't, and that's not always what's
Speaker 1: for me. A lot of time sex is just about
Speaker 1: like feeling someone inside you and that feels amazing and
Speaker 1: like really and bringing them pleasure with your body. Like
Speaker 1: I like that. I don't always need it, but if
Speaker 1: I want to come, I gotta have a hatachi. I
Speaker 1: just have to. I mean, I forgotten when when we'll
Speaker 1: be having sex and she's like, you know, you're just enough,
Speaker 1: and then we'll use the toy too, and then when
Speaker 1: the disappointment when the toy battery dies is so strong.
Speaker 1: That's why I have like six of them. Like if
Speaker 1: your hand stopped working when you were jerking off, yeah, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I get it. Oh, I get all that. I'm pro toy.
Speaker 1: I'm like, like it just loosened that would it would
Speaker 1: it would suck? Yeah? Or if like you know it's
Speaker 1: you know, I get what you're saying. But very pro
Speaker 1: toy though, because I feel like it allows the women
Speaker 1: to have an orgasm quicker and I'm going to have
Speaker 1: an orgasm were will end up having an orgasm around
Speaker 1: closer to the same time without a toy. It's a
Speaker 1: very different ballgame. But I love penises and I don't
Speaker 1: want to make anyone man feel like, oh I'm you
Speaker 1: know it's I guess it doesn't even matter. They can
Speaker 1: just use toys and replace us. I will say though,
Speaker 1: that because I forgot to bring a vibrator here in town,
Speaker 1: I have not been able to master It hasn't even occurred.
Speaker 1: I would have done it so many times since I've
Speaker 1: been here, Um, but I haven't been able to It's
Speaker 1: not even there's nothing for me and this there's no
Speaker 1: electric toothbrush, there's nothing for me. There's no like, there's
Speaker 1: nothing for me to rub on. I I wouldn't be
Speaker 1: able to do it. It's it's it's almost it's pretty
Speaker 1: sad actually that I'm carrying guns. Huh. I don't got
Speaker 1: time for that. That would take so long, really, and
Speaker 1: I don't even know what I would do. Watch your
Speaker 1: favorite and then you know what I would try, because
Speaker 1: I would try to do the thing where take your clip.
Speaker 1: You take your clip and you almost try to jerk
Speaker 1: yourself off with your clip, like you go like this,
Speaker 1: like you pull on it, like you're almost like giving
Speaker 1: your clip a hand and My glid is like the
Speaker 1: size of a fucking a mini eminem. But I could
Speaker 1: get it, you know, like that That's maybe what I'll try. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's about the average size, right, how smaller the bell
Speaker 1: hops hands? Maybe? Don't you think a vibrator? There's just
Speaker 1: a few steps away from terminating with got to get
Speaker 1: to go to the will the gill be the the
Speaker 1: guy with the gag with the get was the guy
Speaker 1: do the ride get together? All Right, we're back. Let's
Speaker 1: talk about f Boy Island and our segment called f I.
Speaker 1: All right, Um, the finale was last week. I have
Speaker 1: not seen it yet. Let's talk about it. Let's answer
Speaker 1: your questions, um, go alright, well, can I ask the
Speaker 1: first question from that came in? Yes, okay, a while
Speaker 1: back on the podcast, you talked about someone on the
Speaker 1: cast of Perfect Strangers to killing a bee who was God,
Speaker 1: I'm so mad that this footage did not make the show. Okay,
Speaker 1: So during de stank Um, there was an incident where
Speaker 1: I had so I had this like fake microphone that
Speaker 1: was like a priceis Wright microphone. And at one point
Speaker 1: during the show, Mia was very scared of insects and
Speaker 1: there was a bee around her a big bumblebee and
Speaker 1: I and she was like freaking out, and I was
Speaker 1: just trying to shoot it away because I was just
Speaker 1: going like shoot, be shoot, you know, like trying of
Speaker 1: like waving my wand at it. Me as someone who
Speaker 1: cares deeply about the fact that bees are disappearing in
Speaker 1: the world, descending. Um, I would never harm me intentionally,
Speaker 1: but old Barry Bonds was swinging right that day, and
Speaker 1: I hit the bee with my little wand it's a
Speaker 1: very skinny wand the bee flew to the ground and
Speaker 1: I shrieked in horror because I hit the be but
Speaker 1: it was still alive. But it flew the ground. It
Speaker 1: was just like disoriented. And then before I could do anything,
Speaker 1: I forget who it was, one of the boys just
Speaker 1: stomps on it and kills it. And I shrieked, almost
Speaker 1: probably falling to my knees, bloodying them, and we had
Speaker 1: to stop the production. I was very upset, and I
Speaker 1: was just like, you never kill a bee, You never
Speaker 1: kill a b And I went over to the bee
Speaker 1: and I picked it up, and I brought it over
Speaker 1: to the rocks by the edge of the ocean where
Speaker 1: you saw Tom throw that ring, and I buried the
Speaker 1: bee in the rocks and I said a prayer for
Speaker 1: it and I said I'm sorry, be and everyone thought
Speaker 1: I was very weird, and we went back to filming.
Speaker 1: But it was like it was a moment that I
Speaker 1: was really I forgot about it until just now, And um,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna try to get the footage from Bill Dixon,
Speaker 1: my friend who's the EP on the show, because it was,
Speaker 1: you know, it was the most athletic, athletic thing that
Speaker 1: I've ever done in my life, and I looked amazing,
Speaker 1: but it was just so funny and it was so
Speaker 1: sad too, and and I do want to get the
Speaker 1: message out about like, don't do what I you know,
Speaker 1: I assisted in doing. It was funny when Tom threw
Speaker 1: Tom threw the ring into the water. Yeah, I got
Speaker 1: a lot of messages about this, and right when he
Speaker 1: throws it, Brendan goes, Nicki's not gonna like that, and
Speaker 1: then literally like two seconds later, you go, I don't, like,
Speaker 1: I forget exactly what contributing to the ocean that I
Speaker 1: was like up for knowing me so, well, yeah, a
Speaker 1: fucking dolphin's got that ring stuck in its blowhole. Now,
Speaker 1: First of all, he doesn't have to inherit him from
Speaker 1: his mom. He could ask, he doesn't have to pay
Speaker 1: for it. He could get down on one flipper. I
Speaker 1: forgot the story of that. Rings like a ring he bought.
Speaker 1: He and his ex girlfriend both had rings. One was
Speaker 1: a king, one was a queen like the crown. I
Speaker 1: don't know clearly, it wasn't that meaningful to him. So
Speaker 1: you guys, remind me what happened on the finale. Yeah, wait,
Speaker 1: there's that for the finale, and it was man sin Well,
Speaker 1: it's it's it's not even that, it's something that Okay. Um,
Speaker 1: my friend Jen and I were texting about, which is
Speaker 1: a huge thing. Jen. So the girls had their dates
Speaker 1: and they invited the guys over and they woke up
Speaker 1: with no makeup, and Jen and I were texting that
Speaker 1: it takes us like ten months, maybe even longer than that,
Speaker 1: where we don't wake up early before the guy to
Speaker 1: do our makeup, that we wake up totally pristine. Um no, no, okay,
Speaker 1: that's very interesting. First of all, these girls are a
Speaker 1: stunning as are you and Jen. I know Jen, Um,
Speaker 1: I am now in this new camp of like I
Speaker 1: want to wear less makeup around men that I like,
Speaker 1: care for or care about, Like when you started dating
Speaker 1: Chris though, and well, I was much younger and I
Speaker 1: was much more insecure. But how did I have been
Speaker 1: a single woman recently? Um? I I used to, you know,
Speaker 1: worry about it and and and put on and do
Speaker 1: the bridesmaid thing of wake up and put up. Someone
Speaker 1: recently told me that they would wait it was oh wait,
Speaker 1: it was you know. Uh. I don't want to say
Speaker 1: what you told me that you would do, but it
Speaker 1: was really funny up before he woke up. Really Okay, Noah,
Speaker 1: can I say the thing that you and Hollow we're
Speaker 1: talking about? You can go ahead and say it. If
Speaker 1: I don't like it, I'll just take Noah. Noah used
Speaker 1: to wake up in the morning, what is it under
Speaker 1: a hook up and shave her chin oh, and go
Speaker 1: back to bed because overnight there would be stubble from
Speaker 1: as money. Women like Hollow has a literal man's like
Speaker 1: stop like like a beard. You would be jealous, like
Speaker 1: a lot of men would be jealous of, um, which
Speaker 1: a lot of women do. I I have hairs to
Speaker 1: I shaved my face like on my cheeks and stuff. Um.
Speaker 1: But Noah would overnight the stubble would grow that morning
Speaker 1: from hormones. So many women have this. It sucks. You
Speaker 1: have to shave it. I didn't know that. Yeah, for
Speaker 1: laser you have to shave it. You can't plug or
Speaker 1: tweet because then you have to wait like a whole cycle,
Speaker 1: which is like months. Yes, so that's what we have
Speaker 1: to go through. Sometimes a guy is like, you know,
Speaker 1: kissing my boobs and I see I spot a long
Speaker 1: hair and I feel it like flosses his teeth. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, oh my god, how did I fucking forget
Speaker 1: that one? It gets like caught and he rips it
Speaker 1: out and I'm like, oh, it's like a pube on
Speaker 1: your tit. Um. Yeah, but they're so long and skinny
Speaker 1: it's hard to get them. I just like six months
Speaker 1: in you wake up the Larry to Cable guy like, Andrew,
Speaker 1: do you remember do you remember seeing for the first
Speaker 1: time without makeup? Um? I mean, I know this sounds
Speaker 1: like cheesy, but like her not makeup makeup face is
Speaker 1: like pretty close, so I don't really you know, Um,
Speaker 1: she was born like naturally guard. The other day, I
Speaker 1: was on the set somewhere and had no makeup on
Speaker 1: day and then I got my makeup done and I
Speaker 1: walked out of my trailer and the amount of like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, wow, you look amazing was so insane,
Speaker 1: Like it's it's crazy how much it changes. But that
Speaker 1: being said, and I've really been I've really felt sad
Speaker 1: about that before because I'm just like, God, like, this
Speaker 1: is how you get people to like you. It's like
Speaker 1: you put on a fucking mask, you know. And but
Speaker 1: now I know that, like I I when I used
Speaker 1: to have acne, that's a different story, like when I
Speaker 1: had bloody, like pussing acne, Like I would need to
Speaker 1: cover that up. And that is something that I would
Speaker 1: still struggle with to this day if I was waking
Speaker 1: up with a new guy and like wanting to cover
Speaker 1: it up. But I do feel now at this age,
Speaker 1: like I any guy, if a guy doesn't like my
Speaker 1: face after the first night we're together in the morning
Speaker 1: because I look like tired and like my worst self
Speaker 1: and like no makeup, we're not it's it's it's gonna be.
Speaker 1: That's gonna be the end of us. Like I'm I can't,
Speaker 1: I can't keep that lie going and we shouldn't be
Speaker 1: together and I'm not gonna like try to keep that
Speaker 1: lie going. There's certain things that I think in an
Speaker 1: early on the relationship. Don't start farting in front of them,
Speaker 1: don't like, you know, tell them every fucking thing that's
Speaker 1: ever happened to you about you know, you keep some
Speaker 1: stuff and save it for later, but your face without makeup,
Speaker 1: I would break that out earlier than you. Try to
Speaker 1: maybe incorporate that earlier. And you know, I don't know, though,
Speaker 1: how do you feel about? Yeah? Absolutely, because I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't wear too much makeup, but I get what
Speaker 1: you mean about getting a lot of attention. Every time
Speaker 1: I put makeup on and I come downstairs. That will
Speaker 1: always be like, wow, beautiful lady, like make a moment
Speaker 1: if maup. But how nice is that that we have
Speaker 1: that ability and men just have to look like they're
Speaker 1: shitty selves all the time. Well no, I mean, like
Speaker 1: even that doesn't really Like if you guys did wear
Speaker 1: eyeliner or like Elvis did, or you know, um, Harry
Speaker 1: styles like when he gets a little bit of stuff on,
Speaker 1: Like if men were to lean into that a little
Speaker 1: bit more and wear makeup that you guys would see
Speaker 1: too how much hotter you could be, and it sucks
Speaker 1: that you don't get You don't get to I was
Speaker 1: talking to someone about this recently, You don't get to, Like,
Speaker 1: it sucks that you guys don't get to experiment with
Speaker 1: fashion as much as we do, Like we really get
Speaker 1: to express ourselves and take risks and have more fun
Speaker 1: creatively with our fashion than you do. You're really limited
Speaker 1: and if you do take a chance, you risk all
Speaker 1: your buddies making fun of you. And it's like, it's
Speaker 1: really hard to start moving into something like even wearing
Speaker 1: brighter colors, let alone wearing you know, tight pants or
Speaker 1: dress or skirt. Had a lot of style did and
Speaker 1: they look great eight Yeah, I know. I kept thinking, God,
Speaker 1: it's so difficult to be a guy because you really
Speaker 1: have to just be hot. Or is it just that
Speaker 1: our standards are different from men hair they can do
Speaker 1: something with facial chi but I'm not kidding, but like
Speaker 1: their bodies or whatever. Like, I really think our show
Speaker 1: has caused a lot of men to have body dysmorphia
Speaker 1: and think that women want that. I'm not joking you.
Speaker 1: I've written a couple of men on d m S
Speaker 1: that have been like the show has made me feel
Speaker 1: bad about my body l O L. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I not if you're trying to win over someone like me,
Speaker 1: me no want that. I have no interest in having
Speaker 1: a guy with a body like that. Chris is starting
Speaker 1: to get really really in shape and because he has
Speaker 1: these goals of like this trip he's going on and
Speaker 1: he just wants to see like what his body can be.
Speaker 1: It's not gonna be forever. And I told him, like,
Speaker 1: I like you, like he um over the you know.
Speaker 1: We went to Montreal last week and he was like,
Speaker 1: I've been feeling really good at about myself. He's like
Speaker 1: cut and he's looking great and it feels great, like
Speaker 1: like it feels like, oh my god, Like I'm with
Speaker 1: like a who's this guy that just showed up? Like
Speaker 1: every day I can see like gains And he was like,
Speaker 1: I was feeling good about myself. And then Mateo. I
Speaker 1: saw Mateo laying with his shirt off backstage and I
Speaker 1: was like, Okay, well I ain't ship compared to that,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, I would not want please don't look
Speaker 1: like Mateo. Mateo is Adonis. He is so hot. But again,
Speaker 1: that guy, to me, does not have enough time for me.
Speaker 1: In his life, all he does his work out, he
Speaker 1: doesn't have fun with food, he doesn't indulge, he's punitive,
Speaker 1: he's he's a little bit of a narcissist. And this
Speaker 1: is Mateo is a different Mateo's a thriving gay man
Speaker 1: and that and that's a different culture. I think in
Speaker 1: terms of like how they keep their bodies. As a woman,
Speaker 1: I do not want f boy bodies. I don't want
Speaker 1: it and I've never wanted it. I I just to me,
Speaker 1: that's a guy that doesn't that is so obsessed with
Speaker 1: himself be it. Tecks body was ridiculous. All these guys, Um,
Speaker 1: there was one guy I can't remember who Danny, who
Speaker 1: wasn't like super cut, and I remember Taylor. Taylor and
Speaker 1: I watched together. But he has a great body, but
Speaker 1: he doesn't have that. Yeah, I like I like Casey's
Speaker 1: of anyone body, I like Danny's. I like Casey's, I
Speaker 1: like Braden's, I like um Sante's. I like Jabrian Peter
Speaker 1: he's kind of thin like I just I like Brandt.
Speaker 1: I like these the guys that were just I just
Speaker 1: like a guy that looks like he can hug himself
Speaker 1: and feel it, comforted by it and not be just
Speaker 1: touching stone. It's like I want these guys to be
Speaker 1: able to get cuddly. They're all too hard. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: mean they were all cute though they were also interesting
Speaker 1: when you are worried about how like when I'm with
Speaker 1: Brenna and like she'll have like pimples or whatever, and granted,
Speaker 1: I know she's a pretty girl to start with whatever,
Speaker 1: but like when there are flaw it's like I never think,
Speaker 1: like I never like look at it as a flaw
Speaker 1: because I I love her and if anything, it's like,
Speaker 1: but we're talking about guys before they love you, ye,
Speaker 1: like before they love you, so like the third day
Speaker 1: kind of thing. Yeah, I get that, but I know,
Speaker 1: but that's really like sweet to hear and and nice
Speaker 1: and comforting to hear that once a guy loves you
Speaker 1: like it doesn't none of that ship would matter. And
Speaker 1: of course they want you to be healthy and feel
Speaker 1: your best, but like they're not going to believe you
Speaker 1: because you have a fucking oozing zip on you when
Speaker 1: they love you, they really think you are more beautiful
Speaker 1: without makeup. Probably, I know, it's weird. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to explain it other than because
Speaker 1: other guys don't want to fuck you. I really do
Speaker 1: think that's why men are always like just where you
Speaker 1: don't need to wear that tiny little thing and your
Speaker 1: laid out. I remember how your boyfriends say that to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it's like, you want me to have a cloak
Speaker 1: of invisibility, don't you? Noah, grow your chin strap. Come on, Noah,
Speaker 1: what were you just about to say? A final thought?
Speaker 1: I was going to say. I went to Warby Parker
Speaker 1: and I took a v with me to help me
Speaker 1: find glasses and I put this one, like these frames
Speaker 1: on and I kind of liked them and I was
Speaker 1: like and he's like, yeah, those look great on you.
Speaker 1: And I go, okay, but does the brown bring out
Speaker 1: the malasma on my face? And he's like, your what
Speaker 1: like the brown spots on my face? Does the brown
Speaker 1: in the frame amplify them? He's like, okay, I never
Speaker 1: even knew that you had that until right now when
Speaker 1: you literally pointed at it. And he's like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to answer that, And it's like your biggest, not
Speaker 1: biggest concern, but it's like one of your insecurities all
Speaker 1: time in the say malasma and la li the gas
Speaker 1: words we haven't gotten to. I remember one time having
Speaker 1: a terrible hormonal bout of acne that was honestly making
Speaker 1: me look like the elephant man. It was so scary.
Speaker 1: I didn't know what was going on, like and I
Speaker 1: and they were all like blistering and it was so bad,
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't let Chris see me, and I was
Speaker 1: hiding in the dark. And this was like two thousand
Speaker 1: fifteen or something. We were out in l A. What
Speaker 1: do you mean. I just love him, like coming into
Speaker 1: a room and not even knowing you're like, I know
Speaker 1: it totally was that he was just like Nikki and
Speaker 1: I was like, you have a candle because I had
Speaker 1: been at the Equinox before, and I remember staring in
Speaker 1: the mirror at Equinox and just sobbing and being like,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to work on my body, like
Speaker 1: my body does not matter because my face is like
Speaker 1: it's so bad. And I know that there are people
Speaker 1: listening that have cystic acne and struggle with facial deformities
Speaker 1: or you know, things that might sound what I'm talking about,
Speaker 1: but I just I felt so sad about it. And
Speaker 1: I remember him and I've told the story before, I think,
Speaker 1: but I remember, and this was at a time where
Speaker 1: I did not want him to ever see those as
Speaker 1: I still thought that like my love or his love
Speaker 1: was um conditional and like you know, based on me
Speaker 1: looking a certain way and all the stuff and um,
Speaker 1: which he never led me to believe that it was
Speaker 1: all in my head and on my face. And uh
Speaker 1: he remember, he just goes, hey, hey, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm so discussing. Please don't driven light Like I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do, Chris, I'm really scared. What if
Speaker 1: I look like this forever? It's not going away. And
Speaker 1: he was like, listen, I am not going to pretend
Speaker 1: that I don't know what you're talking about. There is
Speaker 1: something going on. And that made me feel so good
Speaker 1: that he didn't go like I don't even see it,
Speaker 1: like I know, I like truly didn't see your gettle
Speaker 1: chasm of And that's great, But this whole idea, like
Speaker 1: if you're a guy out there and your girlfriend's like
Speaker 1: I'm fat and like or like I have this thing
Speaker 1: that I like, not just acknowledging it and being like listen,
Speaker 1: it's not like I don't know what you're talking about,
Speaker 1: but it would never register to me that that would
Speaker 1: make you any less lovable. That I think is the
Speaker 1: right answer. Maybe I could be wrong, but for me,
Speaker 1: that was the right answer instead of him being like,
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're talking about because it was
Speaker 1: so obvious. And I hate when I was I hate
Speaker 1: when I have something going on on my face or
Speaker 1: my body and it's really bugging me and it might
Speaker 1: not be a thing that makes make that anyone else
Speaker 1: would even care about. But when people won't just go,
Speaker 1: I know what you're saying. I see what you're saying
Speaker 1: that really bugs me, Like I just want you because
Speaker 1: then you're not only fucking gaslighting me into thinking like no,
Speaker 1: your face is clear, like well, then you're fucking blind,
Speaker 1: Like it would I want someone to acknowledge that there
Speaker 1: is a thing that I'm struggling with, but that it
Speaker 1: doesn't bother them. Is is obviously the second part of that,
Speaker 1: I guess. And when the shoe is on the other foot,
Speaker 1: do you feel the same way, Like if Chris were
Speaker 1: to have a six cystic acne, would you care? Oh? No,
Speaker 1: I remember one time, this is when I was like,
Speaker 1: oh that I finally understood when men say they love
Speaker 1: you no matter like when you when you love someone,
Speaker 1: you don't care what they look like. And this is
Speaker 1: how you grow old with someone. I remember we weren't
Speaker 1: even dating. It was when we were still like kind
Speaker 1: of just friends, and it was around the pandemic time,
Speaker 1: and I was talking about getting on a d D
Speaker 1: meds at the time, and he was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: used to be on them, but um, you know, I
Speaker 1: one of the side effects is like hair loss, and
Speaker 1: I just I would literally rather die than lose hair.
Speaker 1: Like it's all I care about right now. It's like
Speaker 1: my obsession, you know, as most forty year old men
Speaker 1: are struggling with that. And I remember just going like
Speaker 1: and looking at him and like, I would not give
Speaker 1: a fuck if you were bald, like get like, like
Speaker 1: it was laughable to me that something was so of
Speaker 1: concern to him that to me would never change, even
Speaker 1: though I know that he would be more attractive with hair,
Speaker 1: because just it's you know, just based on aesthetically, like
Speaker 1: the laws of aesthetics, it would probably be more probably
Speaker 1: look like Bruce Willis without hair, like super cute. I
Speaker 1: just he could look he could have facial burns, and
Speaker 1: scars or like lose his he could be headless. And
Speaker 1: I was I just remember being like, I know, I
Speaker 1: know what it means what people say they still love
Speaker 1: people even after they are, you know, disfigured where it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. Friend, I guess the hard part is what
Speaker 1: you were talking about. Like let's say, if I was like,
Speaker 1: it's my hair, my like you see, we all have
Speaker 1: like a little bit about dysmorphia or hair dysmorphia. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna I'm just kidding. Oh I do not see
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. I really don't, no, no, no.
Speaker 1: But my point is is like if someone says, if
Speaker 1: it's something little right, but it's big to that person,
Speaker 1: because let's say it's a little bit of a bald spot.
Speaker 1: It's like, I know, I noticed a bald spot. You
Speaker 1: see the bald spot, but you don't think it's that
Speaker 1: big of a bald spot, but they see it as
Speaker 1: a giant bald spot. The hard part is is going
Speaker 1: like like you were saying, like I do see it,
Speaker 1: but it's not as big as you think it is.
Speaker 1: But it's like I don't know. It's hard because like
Speaker 1: you don't want to give in to the dysmorphia. I
Speaker 1: feel like that's why I think guys sometimes will go
Speaker 1: But the dysmorphia is saying, well, dysmorphia is saying it's
Speaker 1: not there. That's more dysmorphic than saying, yes, you're losing
Speaker 1: a little hair. That looks like a hurricane. You know,
Speaker 1: you know Doppler footage, there's something going on that. Ay,
Speaker 1: there's a storm of ruin. It's there's kids playing in
Speaker 1: it for a half hour, tape the windows. But you know,
Speaker 1: we don't need to we don't need to move. But
Speaker 1: I want to live in Florida. Yeah. I think there's
Speaker 1: a difference between I don't want to. I would never
Speaker 1: like Chris is losing a little bit of hair because
Speaker 1: he is like that. It would be insane for me
Speaker 1: to say that he's not because he is. You can
Speaker 1: see it in pictures. We were going through old pictures.
Speaker 1: He's lost hair. But would I ever cognitivet like, I
Speaker 1: would never look at him and go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he is losing it, Like I can only see it
Speaker 1: from pictures and sometimes I see his scalp in his hair.
Speaker 1: But when I look at his hair, but it's also
Speaker 1: pluck them out, which to keep him away, but it's
Speaker 1: it's it's not a problem. If it were, I would
Speaker 1: support him to do whatever he wants to do. Like
Speaker 1: when he kind of u sometimes catastrophizes it and I
Speaker 1: think it is like like, oh god, it's really bad
Speaker 1: or something. I I always am like, I don't know
Speaker 1: what you're talking about in terms of it being so
Speaker 1: bad you would have to do something about it. But
Speaker 1: I'm not going to lie and say that it's not there.
Speaker 1: This is not this is not we need intervention, you
Speaker 1: need to get a transplant or something kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I'll support you if you want to do anything like
Speaker 1: that in whatever way, but I will not. I am not.
Speaker 1: I do not see it, and like I do not
Speaker 1: see it as a thing. I would never go, WHOA, Okay,
Speaker 1: I just always go I'm on Google right now and
Speaker 1: there's like seven things you could do. Oh my god.
Speaker 1: That's the worst too. When my friends, let's with Carlisle,
Speaker 1: when I was like trying that one day because my
Speaker 1: neck looked all wrinkly surgery lasers and I'm like, what
Speaker 1: about just accepting that I'm going to age and it's okay.
Speaker 1: She's like, Nikki is okay, you will always be able
Speaker 1: to kill yourself. There's always a way out. I'm like,
Speaker 1: thanks a lot, best friend. It is a weird motivational speaker,
Speaker 1: Like it's so motivate, like she's that is kind of
Speaker 1: what's her name? Does? Fine? Kill yourself? I just called
Speaker 1: her Lin Swan, which is a wide receiver for the Steelers.
Speaker 1: All Right, guys, we gotta go. Um, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for listening to the pod today. I will be
Speaker 1: back in St. Louis tomorrow. We'll do it live from there. Um.
Speaker 1: Panya will be here a couple more times this week.
Speaker 1: Very excited about that. Thank you so much for listening.
Speaker 1: Don't be cut and cheer lanterns. Yeah, jack o lantern. Okay,
Speaker 1: that's good. Get all right tomorrow