Speaker 1: Hello, everyone, it's your girl Cheeky's and you've reached the
Speaker 1: voicemail box for Dear Cheeky's. I'm here to give you
Speaker 1: advice on anything and everything you need help with. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're going through a breakup, maybe you're having issues with
Speaker 1: your family, or maybe you need help figuring out how
Speaker 1: to balance your checkbook or how to start a business.
Speaker 1: Whatever the cases, I want to hear from you. Remember
Speaker 1: these are my thoughts and opinions, and if you're suffering
Speaker 1: from an issue or hardship, you should seek help from
Speaker 1: a qualified professional. All right, now go ahead and leave
Speaker 1: your question at the sound of the beeB.
Speaker 2: Hi, Cheeky's.
Speaker 3: My name is Stasia, and I like to start off
Speaker 3: by saying you're so amazing and a huge inspiration to me.
Speaker 3: This year, I am getting married on September ninth, and
Speaker 3: of course I am incredibly excited for my big day.
Speaker 3: I'm also incredibly sad. My mom has recently passed away
Speaker 3: in December, and it's so hard for me to imagine
Speaker 3: getting ready, walking down the aisle, and enjoying my entire
Speaker 3: day without her physical presence. I'm hoping you can give
Speaker 3: me some advice on how I can still enjoy every
Speaker 3: moment of that day without feeling guilty that she can't
Speaker 3: be here with me. Thank you so much, Love you, Daisia.
Speaker 1: First of all, congratulations, I'm sure you're going to be
Speaker 1: a beautiful, beautiful bride. Your voice, you have such a
Speaker 1: pretty voice, by the way, So this is what I
Speaker 1: did when I got married. We're not going to talk
Speaker 1: too much about that, but when I got married, once
Speaker 1: upon a time, I had a chair at the ceremony
Speaker 1: that had a picture of my mom, and I just
Speaker 1: it made me feel better that I'm like, Okay, she's there.
Speaker 1: I see her picture. At the reception, I also had
Speaker 1: a picture of her. It just makes you feel just
Speaker 1: closer to your loved one. It may just made me
Speaker 1: feel better. So I'm hoping that you can have like
Speaker 1: a little not necessarily sanctuary, but just somewhere where you
Speaker 1: can have a picture of her, where you know that
Speaker 1: she's present, because regardless, she's there with you. And I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie and tell you that it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be hard, because when you're getting ready and all that stuff,
Speaker 1: it's gonna hurt. I definitely cried. I cried so much
Speaker 1: in the shower that morning, and I let it out
Speaker 1: and I was like, I'm just gonna let it out,
Speaker 1: and then I said a prayer, and I'm like, Mom,
Speaker 1: be with me because I'm gonna need you today and
Speaker 1: then you feel better and I'm hoping that's your situation
Speaker 1: as well. But definitely, I think you should cry it out,
Speaker 1: cry it out before your hair and makeup, and just
Speaker 1: know that she's with you. And it sounds a low cliche,
Speaker 1: but it's the truth. There with us and they're definitely
Speaker 1: angels and I know she's gonna be there walking you
Speaker 1: down the aisle as well. So I'm sending you a
Speaker 1: big hug and hopefully you can send us pictures of
Speaker 1: you and your wedding dress. I can't wait to see him.
Speaker 1: Thank you for your question, bim Okay, So our next
Speaker 1: question comes from Lesdi Hi Cheeky's.
Speaker 4: I am reaching out because I haven't very stressed relationship
Speaker 4: with my mother. I know that I have never been
Speaker 4: her favorite child. I think her and I have just
Speaker 4: always butt heads, and so it's been really hard to
Speaker 4: be around her. She is a very invasive woman, and
Speaker 4: so it's really hard because she triggers a lot of
Speaker 4: anger and disappointment. And sadness in me all the time.
Speaker 4: So I just want to know if you can help
Speaker 4: me and give me some tips and tricks, because even
Speaker 4: staying away from her, she will reach out to send
Speaker 4: me nasty messages and make me feel bad, and she
Speaker 4: will just do everything in her power to be invasive
Speaker 4: of absolutely everything that's going on in my life.
Speaker 2: Thank you by ooh.
Speaker 1: Okay, this was tough because you know, I know we
Speaker 1: have to honor our parents, and she's your mother, and
Speaker 1: you are so blessed to have your other here on earth.
Speaker 1: I am one that has learned throughout the years and
Speaker 1: through therapy that it is okay to love people from afar.
Speaker 1: If she still and continues to reach out to you
Speaker 1: and sending you nasty messages, that doesn't mean that you
Speaker 1: have to engage in those messages and make the situation worse.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes when you ignore things like that, especially
Speaker 1: because she's your mom and you know you have to
Speaker 1: respect her, in my opinion, it's better to just not
Speaker 1: say anything at all and just kind of ignore them,
Speaker 1: and they're going to hopefully get tired and stop it eventually.
Speaker 1: I would suggest having a conversation with her, but it
Speaker 1: sounds like you've tried. I'm one that loves to write
Speaker 1: letters because sometimes when I'm in front of the person,
Speaker 1: I get nervous or I get to emotional, and like
Speaker 1: writing a letter to someone. It allows you to express
Speaker 1: yourself fully without being interrupted, and then they have no
Speaker 1: choice but to read it and sit on it and
Speaker 1: hopefully listen to your heart.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 1: So I think that that would be a great way
Speaker 1: to speak to her and tell her how she's making
Speaker 1: you feel. And if it continues, I think it is okay.
Speaker 1: And it sounds like you have a baby, because I
Speaker 1: heard a baby in the background. You have to be
Speaker 1: okay for your family, for your partner, for your life,
Speaker 1: for your child, if you have a child, and it's
Speaker 1: sometimes okay to say I'm going to give this relationship
Speaker 1: some space. Pray for them from afar, because it's just
Speaker 1: not fair if someone is trying to drag you into
Speaker 1: a dark hole that they're in emotionally, even if it
Speaker 1: is your mom. And I know that sounds some people
Speaker 1: might not agree with me, and that is okay, but
Speaker 1: you have to be okay your peace of mind and
Speaker 1: don't engage and don't be disrespectful, don't go back and
Speaker 1: forth with her. That's your mom. Respect her and just
Speaker 1: love her. But you do have to give yourself your place.
Speaker 1: Like that's what my heart is telling me to tell you,
Speaker 1: and it's my best advice. And I hope that it
Speaker 1: works out for you guys, and the relationship mens eventually.
Speaker 1: But sometimes people don't know what they have until you
Speaker 1: know you're not as available. I don't know. It's something
Speaker 1: you and I both have to pray for because it
Speaker 1: is your mom. So I really really hope it gets better.
Speaker 1: But that is my suggestion. I think a nice, long, intimate,
Speaker 1: detailed letter will help. I hope it gets better. I'm
Speaker 1: sending you up big, big, big big hug because I
Speaker 1: feel it. I am like I'm feeling your emotions right now. Okay,
Speaker 1: so our next question comes from Lydia.
Speaker 2: All the chickies right now. My questions are do I
Speaker 2: move forward with my wedding planning. I'm literally two months
Speaker 2: away from my wedding day and I hate commitment. You know,
Speaker 2: I have two kids from a previous relationship. They are teenagers,
Speaker 2: though they do get along great with my fiance. I
Speaker 2: am six years older than him. He does have a
Speaker 2: child with another woman in Californi Ornia. She's a better
Speaker 2: baby Mama. Let sid And right now he's going through
Speaker 2: a file for a visitation, right since she's not allowing
Speaker 2: him to see his child just because he's with me,
Speaker 2: just because he's getting married, just because, And I'm like,
Speaker 2: do I really want to go through this? You know
Speaker 2: this is just a beginning.
Speaker 1: It stay okay, Well, if you hate commitment, then you
Speaker 1: probably shouldn't be getting married.
Speaker 4: Girl.
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding, but I get it, because commitment is scary.
Speaker 1: I I've been there, and a therapy really helped me
Speaker 1: understand what marriage is. And only you know if this
Speaker 1: person is worth it? How does he treat you? Does
Speaker 1: he love you? He loves your kids? Like? All of
Speaker 1: those are questions that you need to ask yourself and
Speaker 1: put it on a balance, right down on a piece
Speaker 1: of paper, the pros and the cons. You know, the
Speaker 1: good things about him, the bad things about him, and
Speaker 1: you'll see in the list. Okay, well he has more
Speaker 1: good things. This is worth fighting for, baby Mama. Drama sucks.
Speaker 1: Been there, done that. It sucks so bad and it
Speaker 1: is heavy. But does your partner? Does your man make
Speaker 1: you feel better about it? Does he give you your place.
Speaker 1: That all changes everything. Like if he's like, hey, I'm
Speaker 1: going to marry you, you are now my priority, even
Speaker 1: before the children. Like that's just even in the Bible
Speaker 1: it says that it's just kind of like when you
Speaker 1: get married, that is what's most important, even before your children.
Speaker 1: So the good thing is that you're there supporting him
Speaker 1: through this whole like legal situation and trying to get
Speaker 1: like you know, to see his child more. That that's good.
Speaker 1: That says a lot about you. But if he's also
Speaker 1: like putting you to the side, then that's a red
Speaker 1: flag to me. But then it's maybe something that you
Speaker 1: should fight for, you know, sola mene, is this man
Speaker 1: worth all of this? Bs? You know what I mean?
Speaker 1: So that's kind of where it kind of like lays
Speaker 1: and lies.
Speaker 4: I mean.
Speaker 1: So I don't know, you're two months away and one time,
Speaker 1: once upon a time again I canceled the wedding a
Speaker 1: month before. So I'm not saying to do that. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, you know, you probably have the place and everything.
Speaker 1: It's a lot to think about. Bettltu tennis la claves
Speaker 1: laresposta uzmos Is he worth it? Does he love you
Speaker 1: the right way does he value you ask yourself those questions.
Speaker 1: That's important. It goes a long way. All right, thank
Speaker 1: you for your question, babe. Okay, so our last question
Speaker 1: comes from Jessica Hi Chiki's.
Speaker 5: First of all, oh my god, myhead. I have the
Speaker 5: privilege of seeing you in Fresno, and you are freaking amazing.
Speaker 5: The show was amazing, the atmosphere like, you are one
Speaker 5: badass bitch. I also got to do the meet and
Speaker 5: greet and I just love how humble you are, how
Speaker 5: you really just are not about the talk, you actually
Speaker 5: walk the walk and that's something that I really appreciate.
Speaker 5: So with that being said, I have a two part question.
Speaker 5: My first question is with the show that you just
Speaker 5: put on, I know it takes a lot of hours
Speaker 5: to put it all together, So how do you prepare
Speaker 5: for that or what goes into play as you're trying
Speaker 5: to come up with your show? So just curious of
Speaker 5: you know where you get your ideas from, because yeah,
Speaker 5: the two hours and a half flew by when I
Speaker 5: was there because it was just such an amazing show.
Speaker 5: So that's part one. Part two is I know you
Speaker 5: have your team that are with you from your hairstylists,
Speaker 5: to your manager, you know, everybody and your team, what
Speaker 5: do you do to show your appreciation to them, especially
Speaker 5: when you work long hours or you guys travel. I
Speaker 5: currently manage a team, and I always feel that I'm
Speaker 5: not doing enough for them, So just wondering, like, how
Speaker 5: do you show your appreciation to them?
Speaker 1: Jessica, You're making me blush. You made me blush. Thank
Speaker 1: you so much. That is like the best compliment that
Speaker 1: you can give me is that you went to my show,
Speaker 1: that you met me, that you are happy and satisfied,
Speaker 1: mission accomplished one hundred and thousand percent, So thank you
Speaker 1: for taking the time to go and see my performance.
Speaker 1: I'm very proud to say that I am definitely involved
Speaker 1: in everything in the wardrobe and the colors I want
Speaker 1: to use in the set list. The set list is
Speaker 1: the hardest part for me because I think of me
Speaker 1: as a fan and as a consumer of music and
Speaker 1: what i'd like to feel and what i'd like to
Speaker 1: hear if I go to someone's concert, you know, and
Speaker 1: I want to take you on the emotional roller coaster
Speaker 1: that I'm on, you know, I want to take you
Speaker 1: on a high and then bring you down and then
Speaker 1: make you cry and then make you laugh and then
Speaker 1: you go home super happy. So it's like, that's what
Speaker 1: I that's the most important part for me is where
Speaker 1: am I going to place this song? And that took
Speaker 1: me hours and I don't let anyone else get involved
Speaker 1: until the very end where I'm like, Okay, this is
Speaker 1: my idea. Then I get my you know, my musical
Speaker 1: director and my manager. I'm like, okay, what are your suggestions?
Speaker 1: And I'm also open to hearing suggestions. I'm not like Mente,
Speaker 1: like it's what I say and what I say goes.
Speaker 1: I think that's super important. No matter what level you're
Speaker 1: at or if you're the boss or whatnot. Always listening
Speaker 1: to your team is super important. That's going to take
Speaker 1: you a long way. Like they say, two minds are
Speaker 1: better than one, you know. So that's one thing that
Speaker 1: I like to do, and I like to incorporate my
Speaker 1: team and everything that I do. And talking about my
Speaker 1: team the second part of your question. I love my
Speaker 1: team and I treat them as as family and I
Speaker 1: want them to be happy and I want them to
Speaker 1: be happy working. So you don't have to necessarily like
Speaker 1: do extravagant things to show your appreciation. I think just
Speaker 1: even saying thank you, like texting them, hey, thank you guys,
Speaker 1: a great job today. I really like what you did,
Speaker 1: or you know, show that you're happy with their work
Speaker 1: before you're gonna like lash out, you know, because sometimes
Speaker 1: heat and say hey, I don't like this, but it's
Speaker 1: all again. I always say this you guys. How you
Speaker 1: deliver your message, of course, but you can also even say, hey,
Speaker 1: here's a ten dollar gift card. You know, I just
Speaker 1: thought about you and I'm so grateful for you. Here
Speaker 1: something on me. You know, little things like that go
Speaker 1: a long way, and I think just even stopping and
Speaker 1: saying here, let me give you a hug. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm very like that, Like I like to treat my
Speaker 1: people that are around me like my family and show
Speaker 1: that I love them and I appreciate them, not a
Speaker 1: i'm the boss. And here's the thing. Some people get
Speaker 1: it confused with I'm the boss and you have to
Speaker 1: do what I say. But no, it's how you leave them.
Speaker 1: It's let me show you by example. You know, so
Speaker 1: to go a hole to learn that, but I got it.
Speaker 1: So I hope that helps with your team, you know,
Speaker 1: So thank you for your question. It was so lovely
Speaker 1: listening to you and to your question. I'm so glad
Speaker 1: you loved it. What's up? We still have a few
Speaker 1: more days, guys. Check on Instagram okay to see if
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be in your city. Okay, guys, So Deja, Leslie, Lydia,
Speaker 1: and Jessica. I hope you all found my advice really helpful.
Speaker 1: I love connecting with you all on Dear Cheeky so,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for submitting your questions, and you
Speaker 1: can submit your questions or situations that you need help
Speaker 1: with at speakpipe dot com. Slash Cheeky's and Chill Podcasts.
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