1 00:00:01,639 --> 00:00:07,800 Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Story and I'm not voiceover. I'm a boy aholic, 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: or is My friends and enemies like to call me 3 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:11,559 Speaker 1: a slot. 4 00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:15,560 Speaker 2: This is my friend's story performing at one of my 5 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,200 Speaker 2: voiceover live shows. About a year ago. 6 00:00:18,520 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 1: Six months ago, I decided I wanted a little fun project, 7 00:00:23,480 --> 00:00:29,120 Speaker 1: so we're gonna call it the Heartbreak Project. I wanted 8 00:00:29,160 --> 00:00:32,960 Speaker 1: to find a very deserving man, make him fall helplessly 9 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:36,240 Speaker 1: in love with me, manipulate him into doing whatever I wanted, 10 00:00:36,640 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: and break his heart at the end of the summer. 11 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:43,240 Speaker 1: So I found myself on a little app called Field. 12 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:46,519 Speaker 1: For those who don't know, it's a dating app for 13 00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:50,840 Speaker 1: sluts like me. And that's where I met a finance 14 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:58,880 Speaker 1: bro from New Jersey at a bar in the East 15 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:03,320 Speaker 1: Village across the street from his apartment. 16 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 2: This week Story brings us a tale about a recent 17 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:14,520 Speaker 2: tumultuous relationship involving a finance bro, Miami and some power play. 18 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:20,160 Speaker 2: I'm hopewitdared, and welcome to voiceover a space where we're learning, 19 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:23,160 Speaker 2: and I'm learning all the myths were taught about love 20 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 2: and relationships. Now that Boysover October is in full swing, 21 00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 2: I'm still reflecting on everything that's happened with this journey 22 00:01:40,959 --> 00:01:44,759 Speaker 2: over the past two years. Although my first voiceover year 23 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 2: was a little bit chaotic, I'm really proud of the 24 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,040 Speaker 2: monthly live shows I hosted where I invited comedians to 25 00:01:51,040 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 2: tell stories about their own experiences with love and relationships. 26 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 2: On stage. Today, we're talking to Story, who probably had 27 00:01:59,360 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 2: one of the most shocking and unhinged sets of that year. 28 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:07,280 Speaker 2: A lot has happened since she first told this story, 29 00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 2: so I brought her on to recount what's happened with 30 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,440 Speaker 2: this finance bro that we're calling Kyle, and what the 31 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 2: experience has taught her about what she wants. 32 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:19,280 Speaker 1: Story. 33 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 2: Welcome to boy Sober. 34 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: Thank you are so happy to be here. 35 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,640 Speaker 2: How are you feeling good? 36 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 1: I'm nervous, but I'm excited. I'm excited. 37 00:02:25,919 --> 00:02:27,000 Speaker 2: What's got you nervous? 38 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: This situation has changed a lot in the last year, 39 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:37,359 Speaker 1: and it's been tumultuous, right, So, well, the story you 40 00:02:37,480 --> 00:02:40,520 Speaker 1: told was like a story tumultuous. Yeah, so it's already 41 00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:46,360 Speaker 1: tumultuous and like it's had lasting effects, lasting effects on 42 00:02:46,480 --> 00:02:46,959 Speaker 1: my life. 43 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:50,080 Speaker 2: So I want to go back to the beginning a 44 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 2: little because when you introduced the story at the show 45 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,239 Speaker 2: you had like called it the Heartbreak Project. What was 46 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:59,840 Speaker 2: your intention behind Heartbreak Project? 47 00:03:00,200 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: It was like my villain origin, Like I wanted to 48 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: be evil villain woman. 49 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:08,880 Speaker 2: Had you taken that role before? Like had you identified 50 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:11,400 Speaker 2: as sort of like the evil woman? I identify as the 51 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 2: evil woman sometimes in romantic relationships. 52 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:15,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I guess like I'm always kind of like 53 00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,880 Speaker 1: a bully. I like bullying men, so like kind of 54 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,679 Speaker 1: like like it's kind of just like the best dynamic 55 00:03:22,760 --> 00:03:24,560 Speaker 1: for me. It's like kind of where I feel comfortable, 56 00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: but never like so intentional as this or like so 57 00:03:28,800 --> 00:03:33,399 Speaker 1: like premeditated. Let's say, hmm. Because so I'd been in 58 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,320 Speaker 1: a really serious, long term five years I think is 59 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: long relationship where like I thought we were going to 60 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,280 Speaker 1: get married, and I mean like we both did and 61 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 1: then like it was from twenty to twenty five, so 62 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: like young yeah, formaitive years, formative years. 63 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 2: And it was very stable. 64 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: It was like like we fell in love really fast 65 00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:55,760 Speaker 1: and then like we stopped having sex okay, and like 66 00:03:55,840 --> 00:03:58,400 Speaker 1: I didn't really recognize that it was like a red flag. 67 00:03:58,480 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: I was still in love with him. I was like, 68 00:04:00,080 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 1: this is my libido thing. It's depression it's my meds. 69 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 1: It's not that, like we're just not compatible anymore. And 70 00:04:06,720 --> 00:04:08,320 Speaker 1: so we kind of like we were in a five 71 00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 1: year relationship and we didn't have sex really, I mean 72 00:04:10,880 --> 00:04:14,840 Speaker 1: like have good sex for like three years. Sorry, wow, 73 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:16,040 Speaker 1: had a five years. 74 00:04:16,400 --> 00:04:19,240 Speaker 2: And so when you broke you broke up with him. 75 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,880 Speaker 1: I mean like we had some we had break up 76 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:23,960 Speaker 1: conversations like totally we're ready right for like a year 77 00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:28,480 Speaker 1: before we actually broke up. We also have a dog together, and. 78 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,839 Speaker 2: Who owns the dog? Now both of us you shared custody. 79 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have heard during the week he has heard 80 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:35,080 Speaker 1: on the weekend. 81 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 2: So it's insane. Yeah. 82 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: So also, like going into dating after this relationship was 83 00:04:40,240 --> 00:04:42,920 Speaker 1: like funny to bring it up, Like I would bring 84 00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 1: that up on a first. 85 00:04:43,600 --> 00:04:46,280 Speaker 2: Date, like I have shared custody with my dog, would 86 00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:46,960 Speaker 2: be like, what are your. 87 00:04:46,839 --> 00:04:49,240 Speaker 1: Biggest red flags? And then I would have one right there, 88 00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: like I share custody of a dog totally X and honestly, 89 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,520 Speaker 1: like it works great. We are good co parents and 90 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: I like value, like it's nice to have I have 91 00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,960 Speaker 1: weekends for you because the top. 92 00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,760 Speaker 2: It feels like you're really practicing a divorce one day. Yeah, 93 00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,000 Speaker 2: it really I feel like they're always they don't always 94 00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:09,280 Speaker 2: happen for good reasons, and they don't happen easy. But 95 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 2: once a divorce happens, I'm like, okay, we can we 96 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 2: can start the healing process. Yeah, you can like move on, 97 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:15,080 Speaker 2: move forward. 98 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,360 Speaker 1: It probably should have happened sooner, Like. 99 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:20,080 Speaker 2: Okay, so really hard you and this guy. 100 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:22,080 Speaker 1: So then I come out of this relationship and I 101 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:26,360 Speaker 1: went on dates since sounds like wow, men sucks so bad, 102 00:05:27,080 --> 00:05:29,640 Speaker 1: but it was like fun toying with them. 103 00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:30,040 Speaker 2: M hm. 104 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,160 Speaker 1: So I was like, that's when the villain era started. 105 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:36,000 Speaker 2: Okay, so walk me through it. You match on Field, 106 00:05:36,200 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 2: tell me like how y'all connected and how you've got 107 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:41,360 Speaker 2: off the app? And in real life, he like pursued 108 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:41,920 Speaker 2: me for a while. 109 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:44,200 Speaker 1: We texted back and forth. We end up meeting at 110 00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: a bar across the street from his apartment. 111 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 2: Uh huh. 112 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 1: I mean we're just immediately talking about sex. That's like 113 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:52,279 Speaker 1: what we connected, okay, and on Field so feel is 114 00:05:52,279 --> 00:05:53,280 Speaker 1: like sex forward. 115 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, Field is like we're kind of meeting to have sex. Yeah, okay, 116 00:05:57,160 --> 00:05:59,440 Speaker 2: so y'all are y'all are talking about sex? Yeah, and 117 00:05:59,480 --> 00:06:01,039 Speaker 2: you're like, let's get the heck out of here, let's 118 00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:01,960 Speaker 2: go across the street. 119 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:05,039 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, I said, like, I like being commed 120 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: in by strangers, and he like, for the rest of 121 00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 1: our relationship has referenced. 122 00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 2: That that being your first day conversation, like. 123 00:06:12,279 --> 00:06:15,080 Speaker 1: That being like he was like in love with me immediately. 124 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 2: Uh huh? 125 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,679 Speaker 1: So we connected over cream pies? 126 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:23,240 Speaker 2: Right, which is the term you taught me? Yeah, we 127 00:06:23,800 --> 00:06:26,120 Speaker 2: love a new term love some terminology. 128 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: Yes, definitely a lot of terminology on field, a lot 129 00:06:29,440 --> 00:06:30,240 Speaker 1: of acronyms. 130 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 2: Was the sex good that night? 131 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:33,440 Speaker 1: Because sex really amazing? 132 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 2: The sex was amazing. Sometimes sex one night stand, like 133 00:06:37,839 --> 00:06:41,880 Speaker 2: first meeting, it's like so awkward and bad, but it 134 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:45,120 Speaker 2: was good. How did you feel the day after? So 135 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:48,560 Speaker 2: he sent me home in a car that night that night, 136 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,040 Speaker 2: How did that make you feel? 137 00:06:50,400 --> 00:06:52,560 Speaker 1: So I was like kind of surprised, and he was like, yeah, 138 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: I can't believe I did that. He was like, I 139 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:56,120 Speaker 1: think I was trying to play hard to get okay 140 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,560 Speaker 1: by sending me home in my car. Right, it was 141 00:06:58,600 --> 00:07:00,760 Speaker 1: like three in the morning. I get home and I'm 142 00:07:00,839 --> 00:07:03,600 Speaker 1: using my vibrator immediately for like a couple hours. Okay, 143 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:07,960 Speaker 1: it was so hot, which is like I don't want 144 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,360 Speaker 1: a man to go down on me, okay, because I 145 00:07:10,440 --> 00:07:12,000 Speaker 1: know that they're not gonna be able to do sure, 146 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,800 Speaker 1: and I'm gonna be disappointed. And then also like I 147 00:07:14,920 --> 00:07:16,040 Speaker 1: just cannot like. 148 00:07:16,600 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 2: Wait, so did you come while y'all are having sex? No? 149 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: And I never do? I never what? Yeah, I never know? 150 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 2: Okay, so what makes this less good for you? If 151 00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 2: you're not coming? 152 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:30,400 Speaker 1: Like coming the climax of sex is like such a 153 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,080 Speaker 1: like that's like not the whole experience, of course, and 154 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,000 Speaker 1: that's not like why I like having sex, Like I 155 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 1: don't want a partner who's determined to make me come 156 00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 1: because I'm not going to. I'm gonna feel the pressure, 157 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:46,080 Speaker 1: like I'm just not going to be able to perform 158 00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:49,120 Speaker 1: in that way. And I love giving head, but I 159 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,160 Speaker 1: don't like receiving heads. 160 00:07:50,160 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 2: Well, they're actually so bad at it, so many of them. Yeah, 161 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:56,240 Speaker 2: like it's so bad, and like how do you even 162 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,280 Speaker 2: tell them? How do you teach them? 163 00:07:57,320 --> 00:07:58,840 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't want to and I shouldn't 164 00:07:58,880 --> 00:08:02,400 Speaker 1: have to, right of course. And even like and I 165 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:05,120 Speaker 1: think this is actually common, like my orgasms, so like 166 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: in order orgasm with a man, I have to have 167 00:08:06,640 --> 00:08:07,880 Speaker 1: a vibrator and I have to kind of be using 168 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 1: it on myself. 169 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, when I'm having sex with a man, it's like 170 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:14,160 Speaker 2: I have to make sure my table is being turned 171 00:08:14,200 --> 00:08:16,400 Speaker 2: in the correct way. You see what I'm saying. Yeah, 172 00:08:16,560 --> 00:08:17,520 Speaker 2: And I do that work. 173 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: Myself, and in the moment it's like, oknya shift like 174 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:22,280 Speaker 1: the littlest. 175 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,440 Speaker 2: No, totally, Like you have to absolutely show them what 176 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 2: to do. 177 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:28,280 Speaker 1: Yeah. Even when I'm using a vibrator, if there's like 178 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 1: another person there, it's I'm not having his quality of 179 00:08:30,800 --> 00:08:32,480 Speaker 1: an orgasm as with time when I'm with myself. 180 00:08:32,559 --> 00:08:34,920 Speaker 2: Well, we had a sex therapist on and she was 181 00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:38,160 Speaker 2: talking about how so many women have better solo sex 182 00:08:38,200 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 2: than partnered sex, and I guess there's a lot of 183 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 2: like exploring to do with that. And it is so 184 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 2: much of like I think, performance and expectation and what 185 00:08:48,880 --> 00:08:50,800 Speaker 2: we feel like we have to do and should do. 186 00:08:50,840 --> 00:08:53,120 Speaker 2: And when we're alone, we don't have to perform for anybody. 187 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 2: We can just like be in that moment. Yes, and 188 00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:58,080 Speaker 2: we're also in control of everything right like, which I 189 00:08:58,120 --> 00:08:58,920 Speaker 2: love totally. 190 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: But then the partner I love not being in control. Well, 191 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:06,760 Speaker 1: I love power dynamics. So part of this relationship and 192 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:10,240 Speaker 1: sexual experience was playing with power dynamics and learning different 193 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: power dynamics for myself, right, and how did it progress? Well, 194 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,959 Speaker 1: So we had been like really like casually, like we're 195 00:09:17,960 --> 00:09:21,240 Speaker 1: both seeing other people, we're both like talking about it. 196 00:09:21,640 --> 00:09:23,680 Speaker 1: I had started reading his texts. 197 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,359 Speaker 2: When was the first time you read his texts? 198 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:29,080 Speaker 1: Probably like a month into us seeing each other? 199 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:30,040 Speaker 2: And how did you read them? 200 00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 1: Like? 201 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:31,920 Speaker 2: How did you get into his phone? 202 00:09:32,200 --> 00:09:35,800 Speaker 1: So what I do is on like the third date, 203 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,640 Speaker 1: you get their phone password. 204 00:09:38,040 --> 00:09:39,480 Speaker 2: How do you get their phone password? 205 00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 1: It's so easy. You're like flirting, like you're like I 206 00:09:42,480 --> 00:09:45,520 Speaker 1: literally just want to play a song or like look 207 00:09:45,640 --> 00:09:47,360 Speaker 1: look something. Oh, my phone's in the other room. I 208 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 1: want to look something up. Like you act like they made. 209 00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 2: It weird so you gaslight them. 210 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,599 Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, of course you have to play a 211 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: little games to get their phone passwords. Totally, when I 212 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:01,520 Speaker 1: got his phone password, I wasn't like I'm gonna read 213 00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:04,640 Speaker 1: his text It was like weeks later that I started 214 00:10:04,679 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: reading his text. 215 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,160 Speaker 2: And what made you want to read them? Were you 216 00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 2: suspicious or are you just generally suspicious? Because like I 217 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,960 Speaker 2: went through my ex's computer when he's like an angel, 218 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:16,240 Speaker 2: just like looking for something, knowing I would probably find nothing, 219 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 2: but did you have a hunch. 220 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, well yeah, when you have a hunch, it's probably right. 221 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:23,760 Speaker 2: Total. Yeah. 222 00:10:23,800 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: So, I mean when I first checked his phone, we 223 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,559 Speaker 1: weren't dating, it wasn't exclusive. I was just like, oh, 224 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:32,240 Speaker 1: he's saying all these things to me, Like what is 225 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:34,680 Speaker 1: he saying to other women? Like is he actually obsessed 226 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,079 Speaker 1: with me? Or is this like love bombing? Is this 227 00:10:38,600 --> 00:10:43,000 Speaker 1: just like what he does? So the first time I 228 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 1: checked his texts, I felt like, Sabriena Carpenter, please, please, 229 00:10:49,600 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 1: please don't prove on right? Thank you. But his texts 230 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,280 Speaker 1: obviously did prove me right, and he was exactly the 231 00:10:58,320 --> 00:11:00,480 Speaker 1: type of guy that I knew him to be. I 232 00:11:00,520 --> 00:11:03,560 Speaker 1: couldn't care less. I was so uninvested in him. I 233 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: didn't care that he was seeing other girls. It was fine, 234 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 1: But every time after that I cared a little bit 235 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,160 Speaker 1: more and a little bit more and a little bit more. 236 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:35,240 Speaker 1: His dating style made him a perfect victim for my 237 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: heartbreak project. We had both agreed early on that we 238 00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,320 Speaker 1: didn't want to be in a serious relationship. We both 239 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:44,199 Speaker 1: preferred having sex with new people, so for months we 240 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: pretended that every date was our first and that we 241 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 1: were perpetual strangers, but in reality, he was rapidly falling 242 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 1: in love with me, all while I was waking up 243 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: in the middle of the night to scour his phone 244 00:11:56,679 --> 00:12:00,000 Speaker 1: for a few hours reading texts with tons of other girls, 245 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 1: where he would lead them on. He would reach out 246 00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:06,439 Speaker 1: to them to plan romantic dates with them, only to 247 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 1: bail on them a few hours before to go and 248 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:09,520 Speaker 1: see me. 249 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:12,319 Speaker 2: So you felt a little bit special? 250 00:12:12,600 --> 00:12:16,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I love feeling special? Do we all? Do? 251 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:18,480 Speaker 2: We all like that's what we're taught. It's like if 252 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 2: you're the chosen one, you're the best one. Like that's 253 00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 2: you know what I mean? 254 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, and I think, Okay, let's get into my psychology. 255 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,960 Speaker 1: Like from a young age in middle school, my friends 256 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,680 Speaker 1: were having boyfriend My friends were popular, and I remember 257 00:12:30,760 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 1: like one of our guy friends being like, story, you 258 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 1: haven't had a boyfriend yet in like like freshman year. 259 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:40,920 Speaker 1: So actually, I'm not a late bloomer. I had sex 260 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,320 Speaker 1: for the first time at fifteen, which I think is 261 00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:46,600 Speaker 1: relatively really, but I always felt like a late bloomer. 262 00:12:46,720 --> 00:12:47,000 Speaker 2: Okay. 263 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:50,840 Speaker 1: I always felt like ugly duckling. So when I'm like, 264 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:54,960 Speaker 1: why am I like this? Why am I like obsessed 265 00:12:54,960 --> 00:12:55,800 Speaker 1: with male validation? 266 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,839 Speaker 2: God? Everything does go back to like middle school, high school, 267 00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:01,160 Speaker 2: even elementary school. 268 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:04,679 Speaker 1: Yeah. No, I feel like his formative years ten twelve, thirteen. 269 00:13:04,800 --> 00:13:07,080 Speaker 2: Again, when you go through his phone and you find 270 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 2: him texting other people, do you confront him or do 271 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 2: you hold on to it? 272 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: No? But he was pretty open about like we were 273 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: talking about other people we were dating, and da da 274 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,600 Speaker 1: da da da. And he would say that he's talking 275 00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 1: about me on these dates with other girls. Uh huh, 276 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 1: And I don't know if that's true. You know, everything 277 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:21,920 Speaker 1: he says, I'm like taking it with a ran of salt. 278 00:13:22,160 --> 00:13:22,280 Speaker 2: Huh. 279 00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:25,719 Speaker 1: But I was like, you cannot use me to make 280 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,280 Speaker 1: other women feel bad, Like he was basically telling them 281 00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:29,440 Speaker 1: all the things he loved about me. 282 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:32,400 Speaker 2: Wait, okay, let me just get this straight. Y'all were open, Yeah, 283 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,760 Speaker 2: And you were going through his phone and you found 284 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:36,120 Speaker 2: out he was texting other people and you were okay 285 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,720 Speaker 2: with it. Yeah, And the only problem you had with 286 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 2: it was the fact that he was bragging about you 287 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 2: while he was on these dates with other people. 288 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:46,040 Speaker 1: And like making them want to be like me, okay, 289 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:49,160 Speaker 1: so that they could get his validation too. And This 290 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:54,439 Speaker 1: is where my mentality started to shift. I told him, 291 00:13:54,480 --> 00:13:57,160 Speaker 1: we don't have to be exclusive, and if you wanted 292 00:13:57,160 --> 00:13:58,959 Speaker 1: to see other girls, we should just talk about it 293 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: and I'd be cool with it. After all, we'd been 294 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:05,560 Speaker 1: dating other people for months, so it'll be fine. But 295 00:14:05,640 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: he insisted that he only wanted me. He started saying 296 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,679 Speaker 1: things like, I've never felt this way about anyone, and 297 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,200 Speaker 1: cuddling with you is better than sex with anyone else. 298 00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:21,600 Speaker 1: I was finally the only girl in the world. For weeks, 299 00:14:21,960 --> 00:14:25,200 Speaker 1: we repeated this conversation over and over and over again, 300 00:14:25,440 --> 00:14:29,880 Speaker 1: and eventually I started to want to believe him. 301 00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,360 Speaker 2: So he has the let's be exclusive conversation. 302 00:14:33,280 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 1: It was like, he doesn't want to see other people, okay, right, 303 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:39,120 Speaker 1: there's a caveat to y'all exclusivity. Yeah, and there always 304 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,680 Speaker 1: has been. It's always been that I can see other 305 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: people and he can't. And I immediately when he said 306 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 1: that the first time that I want to be with 307 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,400 Speaker 1: you and only you. It wasn't like being my girlfriend. 308 00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: It was like exclusive, which is like i'm your girlfriend then, 309 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:53,080 Speaker 1: but whatever. 310 00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, whatever, what is that? 311 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:54,840 Speaker 1: I don't know? 312 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 2: So many people, yeah, were exclusive. 313 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: I'm your girlfriend? Yeah, yeah, he he was saying that, 314 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,360 Speaker 1: and I was reading his text, so I knew that, 315 00:15:02,480 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: like he was still had not shut down these other 316 00:15:05,560 --> 00:15:07,240 Speaker 1: he got on like a couple dates with the other people, 317 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:10,080 Speaker 1: had not shut them down. So I was like giving 318 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,440 Speaker 1: him the out. I was like, we don't have to 319 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:12,760 Speaker 1: do that. 320 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:14,280 Speaker 2: You like knew he was lying to you, and you 321 00:15:14,320 --> 00:15:16,080 Speaker 2: would just like let him lie be you Yeah, yeah, yeah, 322 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 2: Because I. 323 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:18,800 Speaker 1: Was like there's a better way. I was like, I'm 324 00:15:18,840 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: gonna get revenge on him. Heart goes back to heartbreak project, 325 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,440 Speaker 1: Like he has to be so obsessed, and I didn't 326 00:15:26,440 --> 00:15:29,160 Speaker 1: want to be like I'm reading your text at this point, 327 00:15:29,280 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 1: like I didn't have enough, Like it wasn't climactic, it 328 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,680 Speaker 1: wasn't a madic enough. I wasn't ready to confront him, 329 00:15:35,720 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: and like I never really was. It came like I 330 00:15:38,840 --> 00:15:42,200 Speaker 1: got him to confess to cheating twice after So the 331 00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 1: first time he cheated, it was when we were exclusive, 332 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 1: and he said that he wanted me to be the 333 00:15:46,080 --> 00:15:50,200 Speaker 1: only girl, and I was I had to be somewhere 334 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,560 Speaker 1: near his apartment the next morning. He said he had 335 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 1: to be at his mom's house that night, Saturday night, 336 00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:00,160 Speaker 1: and then so I'm sleeping in his bed alone, and 337 00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:02,200 Speaker 1: I come to find out he's at a bar like 338 00:16:02,320 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: ten blocks away in the West Village with another girl. 339 00:16:06,520 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 2: You found that out through his phone or if someone 340 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 2: told you, Okay. 341 00:16:09,840 --> 00:16:12,680 Speaker 1: So that was the first time he cheated. And that 342 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,920 Speaker 1: was like a week, not even a week, less than 343 00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:17,880 Speaker 1: a week before we go to Miami. I find out 344 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 1: like a couple of days before we got to Miami. 345 00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 2: Do you think it's worth it? 346 00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 1: Though? 347 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,720 Speaker 2: Like the chaos and the you kind of liked the 348 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:25,680 Speaker 2: chaos though. 349 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,920 Speaker 1: I loved Okay. The other thing is I never had 350 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 1: a toxic relationship. I'd have such relationships, yeah, but like 351 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 1: I never had like a relationship that was toxic like that. 352 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: So yeah, I did going into the relationship. I didn't 353 00:16:40,720 --> 00:16:42,600 Speaker 1: want a relationship. And if it was a relationship, it 354 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: had to have a lot of benefits and like a 355 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,040 Speaker 1: lot of chaos, and I had to have a lot 356 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:46,520 Speaker 1: of power. 357 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:49,000 Speaker 2: I will say I was I remember watching your Close 358 00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:52,960 Speaker 2: Friends story during this time and just like seeing sushi 359 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: on planes in hotels and dinners, and I was like 360 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:58,520 Speaker 2: a little inspired. 361 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, And those are things I still want, 362 00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:04,240 Speaker 1: right and those are That's the reason I've stayed. I 363 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,040 Speaker 1: stayed with him for. 364 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 2: He stayed with him for his money. 365 00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:08,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I would again. 366 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,440 Speaker 2: We were actually talking about this earlier, like finance bros 367 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 2: in general, like is it ethical or not to be 368 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:16,800 Speaker 2: with them? 369 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:22,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I did have friendship breakups because they were like, 370 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,600 Speaker 1: it's unethical to be with someone who works in private 371 00:17:24,600 --> 00:17:27,160 Speaker 1: equity because private equity is ruining the world, which I. 372 00:17:27,119 --> 00:17:30,000 Speaker 2: Agree, Well, there are so many things ruining the world, 373 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,399 Speaker 2: that's true. I don't know, I'm torn about it. I'm like, 374 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:36,359 Speaker 2: I think if you are dating someone in finance, like 375 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,159 Speaker 2: sometimes you just kind of have to like get your money, 376 00:17:39,200 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 2: get your bad girl, you know. 377 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know, which is how I felt like 378 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,520 Speaker 1: the whole time. I was like, I'm just gonna like 379 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:48,439 Speaker 1: ask for what i want, manipulate for what I want, 380 00:17:48,560 --> 00:17:51,200 Speaker 1: and let's see how far this goes. And it's not serious. 381 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: Until it was. Miami was the most romantic experience that 382 00:17:55,320 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: either of us had ever had. We spent the whole 383 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 1: week kissing on the beach, kissing in the night clubs, 384 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:04,239 Speaker 1: kissing in the hot tub, kissing in the pool, and 385 00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,520 Speaker 1: falling in love over and over and over again. Every 386 00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: night on Moonlit sheets in the most Prickturesque hotel on 387 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:15,000 Speaker 1: the most gorgeous speech you've ever seen. Three days in 388 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,840 Speaker 1: at lunch, he told me he loved me for the 389 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:22,600 Speaker 1: first time, and with a lump in my throat, I 390 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: set it back. He finally asked, will you be my girlfriend? 391 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:35,959 Speaker 1: And I replied, I already am. 392 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 2: When y'all were going to Miami, did you love him? 393 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 2: Did you like him? What were like your honest feelings 394 00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,920 Speaker 2: about him? If you had to say? 395 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:49,479 Speaker 1: See so, what I say is when I would tell 396 00:18:49,520 --> 00:18:51,439 Speaker 1: my friends that I didn't love him, I felt like 397 00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 1: I was lying. But when I told my friends that 398 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: I did love him, it also felt like I was 399 00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:00,960 Speaker 1: lying right to myself. Huh, I'm both ways. I was 400 00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:03,679 Speaker 1: trying to convince myself you don't love him, you do 401 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,119 Speaker 1: love him. It was like so, when he said he 402 00:19:06,160 --> 00:19:08,160 Speaker 1: loves me for the first time in Miami and will 403 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,560 Speaker 1: you be my girlfriend? I said, I love him back, 404 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:11,959 Speaker 1: but like in the back of my head, like I 405 00:19:12,040 --> 00:19:15,440 Speaker 1: know he had just lied and slept with another girl 406 00:19:15,480 --> 00:19:17,159 Speaker 1: like less than a week before that. 407 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:19,520 Speaker 2: Mm hmm. But I was even knew when he said 408 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:21,640 Speaker 2: I love you, Yeah, but he didn't know that you knew, 409 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:25,480 Speaker 2: yeah that it feels insane to me. Yeah, and you 410 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,399 Speaker 2: didn't say like fuck you, I know you slept with 411 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 2: somebody or why not? 412 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,199 Speaker 1: Because I did believe that he loved me, and he 413 00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,280 Speaker 1: loved me like he was more into me than he 414 00:19:34,359 --> 00:19:37,760 Speaker 1: was into these other people. And I was right. Whatever 415 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:39,840 Speaker 1: people are gonna say, I'm deluciable, but like I was right. 416 00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:42,880 Speaker 2: When do you feel like the power dynamics sort of shifted? 417 00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:46,280 Speaker 1: I mean when he was like sleeping with other girls 418 00:19:46,320 --> 00:19:49,920 Speaker 1: and lying, Like the lying was the betrayal, not because 419 00:19:49,960 --> 00:19:53,159 Speaker 1: I was giving him the out, Like even after he 420 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 1: cheated for the first time before Miami and told me 421 00:19:56,880 --> 00:20:00,440 Speaker 1: he wasn't seeing anyone else. Even after that, I was like, okay, 422 00:20:00,440 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: but if you want to see other people, that's fine 423 00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:06,959 Speaker 1: because I also want to see other people. Let's just 424 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: like be talking about it. Like what was rude was 425 00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,800 Speaker 1: the lying? Like and then like when we finally get 426 00:20:13,800 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 1: a confrontation, he's like, well, you told me I could 427 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,560 Speaker 1: do it, So I think, like, if you told me 428 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:21,159 Speaker 1: I couldn't do it, I wouldn't have wanted to, don't. 429 00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:22,960 Speaker 1: I don't like that was just that was a lie, 430 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,880 Speaker 1: That was an excuse that was bullshit because I'm like, no, 431 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 1: I told you, if you want to see other people, 432 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 1: we could talk about it, right, But we weren't talking 433 00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:33,920 Speaker 1: about it. You weren't telling me. There was no discussion. Yeah, 434 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,320 Speaker 1: it broke my heart. It broke my heart. I told 435 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: my therapist, I will break his heart at the end 436 00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,560 Speaker 1: of this, but he's gonna break my heart a million 437 00:20:41,560 --> 00:20:45,440 Speaker 1: times over before then, secretly I didn't want him seeing 438 00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:48,600 Speaker 1: other girls, and definitely not behind my back. The lying 439 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: was the worse betrayal than the cheating, although if I'm honest, 440 00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: the worst pain was realizing that while I thought I 441 00:20:56,240 --> 00:20:58,800 Speaker 1: was pulling all the strings, his text revealed that he 442 00:20:58,880 --> 00:21:01,640 Speaker 1: was pulling some strings of his. I wanted to continue 443 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 1: using and manipulating him, but I didn't want him to 444 00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 1: return the fucking favor. When we returned to New York, 445 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:29,840 Speaker 1: I left the city for ten days, the longest period 446 00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,080 Speaker 1: of time we'd spent a part since we met. I 447 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: did not want to believe my friends who told me 448 00:21:35,320 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 1: that he'd be cheating while I was gone, but when 449 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:42,000 Speaker 1: I heard his voice on the phone, I was deeply suspicious. 450 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:47,879 Speaker 1: At this point, I was hopeful and delusional. Maybe that 451 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:50,960 Speaker 1: since we had just returned from our whirlwind romantic getaway 452 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,960 Speaker 1: that maybe, just maybe he would change for me. Supposedly 453 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,080 Speaker 1: the love of his life Miami had completely shifted my 454 00:21:58,200 --> 00:22:04,360 Speaker 1: mentality on myself. Wanting the love story to be true, 455 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,359 Speaker 1: I wasn't sure how this had happened, but it had. 456 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:11,199 Speaker 1: At the same time, I knew that his actions showed 457 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 1: me who he really was, and that meant that I 458 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,160 Speaker 1: could not have him in the way that I had 459 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,679 Speaker 1: somehow ended up wanting it to be. 460 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,560 Speaker 2: So what made you finally want to confront him? Did 461 00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 2: someone tell you too or what? 462 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:29,320 Speaker 1: No, it was I was going crazy. So he cheated 463 00:22:29,320 --> 00:22:33,359 Speaker 1: on me again. I'm fuming. I'm off the handle. I 464 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,560 Speaker 1: told him I was mad at him, like in bed 465 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:37,440 Speaker 1: with him the next morning after reading his text the 466 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:41,040 Speaker 1: night before, because I had a dream that he had 467 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:44,000 Speaker 1: cheated on me, And he asked me, like what happened 468 00:22:44,040 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 1: in the dream, And I was like so close to 469 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:49,600 Speaker 1: being like just saying exactly what he'd done, but I didn't. 470 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 1: I called my cool, but I was like, I have 471 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,800 Speaker 1: a feeling, I have an intuition, just like something is 472 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,199 Speaker 1: off here. I would point out like inconsistencies, like he 473 00:22:57,280 --> 00:23:01,080 Speaker 1: had this picture pictures of me like on the like 474 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 1: credenza or whatever, and it was like flipped over. 475 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:04,440 Speaker 2: Yah. 476 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,200 Speaker 1: And he only did that when like somebody came wait 477 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:08,560 Speaker 1: literally and then. 478 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,439 Speaker 2: Like it's always like it's always like a bedside table 479 00:23:11,440 --> 00:23:12,480 Speaker 2: that will get a man caught. 480 00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:13,040 Speaker 1: Yeah. 481 00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I have a friend who caught her boyfriend's 482 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 2: situationship whatever because he had like like a romantic novel 483 00:23:21,280 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 2: on his bedside table and she was like, no, you 484 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:25,040 Speaker 2: would never be reading. 485 00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,320 Speaker 1: That and someone had left it there. 486 00:23:26,400 --> 00:23:29,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, another girl had left it there. Bedside table will 487 00:23:29,880 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 2: give it away. Yeah, so you're spinning lies because you know, yeah, 488 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 2: you're trying to get him to admit. 489 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,640 Speaker 1: Well, I was like, I'm not gonna incriminate myself as 490 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:42,920 Speaker 1: someone who's read his text. He has to admit it 491 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:46,720 Speaker 1: without me admitting that I'd been reading his text. 492 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:48,320 Speaker 2: How did you get him to finally admit it? 493 00:23:48,880 --> 00:23:51,639 Speaker 1: I mean he denied it flat out forever, and then 494 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,879 Speaker 1: he would tell me half truths and then I was 495 00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:56,239 Speaker 1: just like I'm leaving, like you're not telling me the truth. Uh, 496 00:23:56,560 --> 00:24:00,080 Speaker 1: and I stormed out. He texted me, I'm ready to 497 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:02,919 Speaker 1: tell the whole truth, and then he unseent that text. 498 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:03,639 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 499 00:24:03,840 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, I saw that's crazy. 500 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:11,880 Speaker 2: He said, I'm ready to admit the whole truth. You 501 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:14,359 Speaker 2: saw it. He unsends it, so it says the text 502 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,000 Speaker 2: unsent And then what did you say? 503 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,879 Speaker 1: Nothing? Nothing? He kept calling me and calling me, and 504 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: I called his best friend and I asked him if 505 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:27,280 Speaker 1: he thought that he could be loyal about seeing other people. 506 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:30,359 Speaker 1: So he was like, you know, he loves you, but like, 507 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 1: I don't know, I can't vouch for him, which is 508 00:24:32,359 --> 00:24:34,040 Speaker 1: like if your best friend is saying. 509 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:35,879 Speaker 2: That, like yeah, okay. 510 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,040 Speaker 1: Then so I had screenshots that I had sent myself 511 00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 1: of the text with the girls who he had cheated with. 512 00:24:40,320 --> 00:24:42,359 Speaker 1: You're evidence my evidence. Yeah, of course I had the 513 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,639 Speaker 1: evidence because when he eventually let me go through his 514 00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: phone when he was still in like part he was 515 00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:48,200 Speaker 1: telling partial truth, partial. 516 00:24:47,880 --> 00:24:52,040 Speaker 2: Life he had I was like, yes, supid, I know 517 00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:52,719 Speaker 2: you idiot. 518 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:55,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, I have these screen shots, and you know the 519 00:24:55,440 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: contacts are not safe. So the number is right at 520 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 1: the top. I called those girls. 521 00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:03,479 Speaker 2: You called the girls? Wait, I called know how many 522 00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,280 Speaker 2: girls did you call too? And what did you talk about? 523 00:25:06,400 --> 00:25:08,360 Speaker 1: You do with two girls? One of them didn't pick 524 00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 1: up and one of well one of them did. Were you? 525 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:12,640 Speaker 2: Like, hey girl? 526 00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:15,560 Speaker 1: And I was like, were you at the Nines on 527 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:20,200 Speaker 1: Saturday with a man named Kyle? She she was like yeah, why, 528 00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:21,879 Speaker 1: Like who is this? And I was like, oh, this 529 00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:23,320 Speaker 1: is his girlfriend who he's cheating on. 530 00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:25,640 Speaker 2: What did she say? 531 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,080 Speaker 1: She was like so apologetic, She was like, oh my god, 532 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:30,399 Speaker 1: I was just using him for drinks. I was just 533 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:31,639 Speaker 1: using sure dinner. 534 00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:34,600 Speaker 2: Like to me, it's always the man's fault. No, I 535 00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:37,960 Speaker 2: was not has no allegiance to you know what I mean. 536 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,240 Speaker 1: Of course, and like she didn't even know I existed. 537 00:25:41,119 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: But I was not mad at her obviously. I was 538 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:46,399 Speaker 1: just like, if I like didn't have the text, I 539 00:25:46,400 --> 00:25:49,240 Speaker 1: would have believed him, which is so scary. Your a 540 00:25:49,240 --> 00:25:53,520 Speaker 1: man is lying to you, like men are men are lying, 541 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,359 Speaker 1: Men are lying and they're so good at it, Like 542 00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,520 Speaker 1: get the evidence, do not believe him? 543 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:02,520 Speaker 2: So how do you? Finally so he get him to 544 00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:03,040 Speaker 2: admit it. 545 00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:08,440 Speaker 1: When I walk back through his door, I said, I'm 546 00:26:08,480 --> 00:26:11,479 Speaker 1: just here to get my stuff. I'm leaving. He tested 547 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,520 Speaker 1: me with you want me to help you bring down 548 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:17,440 Speaker 1: your bags. I called his bluff with a simple yes, 549 00:26:18,240 --> 00:26:21,720 Speaker 1: and he caved and he said please baby, No, sit down, baby, 550 00:26:21,720 --> 00:26:24,240 Speaker 1: I'll tell you the whole truth. And then he did. 551 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:27,320 Speaker 1: He finally did, and he when he was done for 552 00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:31,240 Speaker 1: counting his sins, I asked, how can I ever trust 553 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 1: you again? And he said, well, what if when we're apart, 554 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:40,320 Speaker 1: you keep my cock in a cage. It's a real 555 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 1: thing and we're using it. Yes, it's like a chastity 556 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:45,160 Speaker 1: belt for men. 557 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,640 Speaker 2: That is so crazy And I had never heard about 558 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 2: that until you told me the story. He tell me 559 00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 2: how it works. A chastity belt for a man. Cage, 560 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:01,359 Speaker 2: chastity cage for a man. How does it work? 561 00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 1: So there's a ring okay, yeah, okay, there's a ring 562 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:07,320 Speaker 1: that goes around the balls. 563 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:09,240 Speaker 2: Okay because basically like. 564 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:13,359 Speaker 1: It's all it's staying together because it's like like the 565 00:27:13,400 --> 00:27:14,399 Speaker 1: balls will not let it. 566 00:27:14,760 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 2: The balls are in there too, the ball. 567 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:20,240 Speaker 1: The balls are through the ring. Okay. 568 00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 2: Okay. Is he wearing an outside during the day. Yeah, 569 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:25,040 Speaker 2: he's wearing it to work. 570 00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:27,240 Speaker 1: There was like a week where I went out of 571 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 1: town and he wore it for a week to work. 572 00:27:30,600 --> 00:27:31,359 Speaker 2: Did you have a key? 573 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:35,680 Speaker 1: Yeah? How does he relieve himself? I mean, there's a 574 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:38,760 Speaker 1: I think they have to sit down to pee, which 575 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 1: is also better for your public floor. Then you should 576 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:42,920 Speaker 1: be just sitting down to pee. 577 00:27:44,160 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 2: Okay. So there's a there's a ring around the balls. 578 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:49,760 Speaker 2: The balls are out, there's a there's a ring that. 579 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:51,359 Speaker 1: Goes like the balls go through the bottom of the 580 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,320 Speaker 1: ring and the cock goes through the top of the ring. 581 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,960 Speaker 1: But both are in the ring. And then the top 582 00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,360 Speaker 1: of the ring, which is above the cock. Yeah, that's 583 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,959 Speaker 1: where the lock. And so then the cage goes on 584 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,080 Speaker 1: the cock and connects at the top of the ring. 585 00:28:04,240 --> 00:28:06,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, so you'd unlock it like that. 586 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:08,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, lock and unlocked from like right totally. 587 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:11,280 Speaker 2: That's like typically, and you take the key out of town. 588 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:12,879 Speaker 1: So it comes with two keys. 589 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,000 Speaker 2: Scary, it comes with two keys. 590 00:28:15,040 --> 00:28:16,800 Speaker 1: I hid one of the keys in his apartment. 591 00:28:17,600 --> 00:28:19,320 Speaker 2: Okay, that's kind of fun. 592 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:21,760 Speaker 1: I didn't tell where it was, okay, because I was like, 593 00:28:21,960 --> 00:28:27,120 Speaker 1: if there's an emergency or something, and and he never 594 00:28:27,160 --> 00:28:28,600 Speaker 1: asked for it, I can't tell. 595 00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 2: That's nice. 596 00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: The story doesn't end there because that night I went 597 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:44,400 Speaker 1: to dinner with my best friends and when I returned home, 598 00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: I found him on my laptop reading all of my texts, 599 00:28:51,240 --> 00:28:53,360 Speaker 1: just like you've been doing to me. For months. He said, 600 00:28:55,840 --> 00:28:59,680 Speaker 1: he had read all of the horrible things I'd said 601 00:28:59,720 --> 00:29:04,400 Speaker 1: about him being short and ugly and undtable and a 602 00:29:04,440 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: loser with no taste, an out of his complex and 603 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 1: a receding hairline. He'd read all of my insane, psychotic, 604 00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 1: diabolical plans to ruin his life, he said, I read 605 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:25,400 Speaker 1: it all. I said, it'll just leave, and he said leave. 606 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 1: You can't leave now, not after all this, I feel 607 00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:32,520 Speaker 1: like I finally know how your brain works. I love you. 608 00:29:38,200 --> 00:29:40,920 Speaker 1: He had seen the inner workings of my mind in 609 00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:44,400 Speaker 1: my text with my best friends. He now knew how 610 00:29:44,840 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: fucking sick in the head I am, and he loved 611 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:53,560 Speaker 1: me more. He he loved me more, not in spite 612 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:58,240 Speaker 1: of my psychoses, but because of them. 613 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 2: You told this story a year ago, almost exactly. Yeah, 614 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,960 Speaker 2: so retelling it now and looking at it now a 615 00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:10,320 Speaker 2: year out, where are y'all? It worked for a little while. 616 00:30:10,520 --> 00:30:13,520 Speaker 1: I believe he's been faithful to me since then, which 617 00:30:14,040 --> 00:30:15,560 Speaker 1: even when he's not in a cage, he has had 618 00:30:15,600 --> 00:30:19,320 Speaker 1: opportunities to not be faithful, So that could be true. 619 00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:21,920 Speaker 1: And I have, like, I mean, I think like when 620 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 1: there's an infidelity, you can't move fast. It really like, 621 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,320 Speaker 1: I don't know if I'll ever trust him when he 622 00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:30,800 Speaker 1: has the opportunity to cheat. I'm like, right, I always said, 623 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,080 Speaker 1: like from the beginning, and it got messy in the 624 00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:36,240 Speaker 1: middle and everything, where like I had real feelings for him. 625 00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:39,120 Speaker 1: Mm mm call it love if you want, I. 626 00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:42,200 Speaker 2: Still have feelings. You still have feelings for him? Now? Yeah? 627 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:47,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's complicated. It can't work out right now. I mean. 628 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 1: The other thing is that he bought an engagement ring, 629 00:30:51,200 --> 00:30:52,720 Speaker 1: the ring that I asked him to buy. 630 00:30:53,280 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, do you have it? 631 00:30:54,400 --> 00:30:57,840 Speaker 1: No? Because he he knows that I, you know, wanted 632 00:30:57,880 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 1: the ring, well, I mean to be engaged whatever, Like 633 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,600 Speaker 1: I think that would have been fun. And I think 634 00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:05,480 Speaker 1: he just held it over my head for so long 635 00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:08,200 Speaker 1: and I was like, I can't keep being with someone 636 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,680 Speaker 1: just like to wait for this because he knows it's 637 00:31:10,720 --> 00:31:12,120 Speaker 1: like the ring that I wanted. 638 00:31:12,680 --> 00:31:17,040 Speaker 2: So you abandoned the heartbreak project? Or do you still feel. 639 00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: Like that's I'm like, I haven't really told like my 640 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,320 Speaker 1: friends that I'm like not seeing him, oh, like that 641 00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,440 Speaker 1: I'm not talking to him because every time I've done that, 642 00:31:28,680 --> 00:31:32,240 Speaker 1: I've gone back to him. And that's so embarrassing. I'd 643 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:35,360 Speaker 1: say like I'm the closest now that I've ever been 644 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:39,000 Speaker 1: to like being rid of him. I don't know what 645 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:42,640 Speaker 1: the future holds, but I learned a lot about myself 646 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 1: and what I want in a relationship and like what 647 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:47,120 Speaker 1: I like kind of need in a relationship. 648 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,320 Speaker 2: I do know that, like because you've told me, like 649 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 2: walking away from this relationship now, it has not been 650 00:31:53,200 --> 00:31:53,760 Speaker 2: easy on you. 651 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been tough. I mean I had a lot 652 00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: of friendship breakups, and I like I just didn't I 653 00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:02,680 Speaker 1: went into this relationship being like this is fun and 654 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 1: games and silly, and I thought my friends would be like, Haha, 655 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,800 Speaker 1: we'll make fun of him together. This is funny, and 656 00:32:08,840 --> 00:32:10,920 Speaker 1: they were like, this is kind of like sick, Like 657 00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 1: you're kind of like messed up for this and I 658 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:16,480 Speaker 1: can't be around you anymore. And I was like, oh, 659 00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:18,920 Speaker 1: like that way, And then I wasn't able to be 660 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:23,280 Speaker 1: like you're right, I'll and I'll leave him for you basically, 661 00:32:23,440 --> 00:32:28,880 Speaker 1: and that sucked because I I want to say, I 662 00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,000 Speaker 1: never truly saw this being like a long term thing. 663 00:32:32,040 --> 00:32:34,280 Speaker 1: I saw this as like an experimental period, which is 664 00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: like what it what it truly is to its score, 665 00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:39,720 Speaker 1: But like I didn't think because of that. I didn't 666 00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 1: think that my friends would have like that we would 667 00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:44,760 Speaker 1: part ways because of it. 668 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,960 Speaker 2: Oh god, it's so tough. 669 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:50,760 Speaker 1: And but okay, it is tough in an era where 670 00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,760 Speaker 1: we're like leave men, and like, I believe this, like 671 00:32:55,120 --> 00:32:59,960 Speaker 1: you know, boy sober, prioritize yourself, like prioritize your career, 672 00:33:00,080 --> 00:33:04,080 Speaker 1: your end, prioritize your friendships. And then I'm like, I 673 00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:06,000 Speaker 1: know that I did not handle this well. I know 674 00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,560 Speaker 1: that I fucked this up in some way or another. 675 00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:11,960 Speaker 1: I am like, I think I would do it pretty similarly, 676 00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:16,280 Speaker 1: Like I think I did need this for my process 677 00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,800 Speaker 1: for myself, but I wish that I had handled the 678 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,160 Speaker 1: friendship part differently. I missed the friends that I lost. 679 00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:26,240 Speaker 2: Of course. The thing about friendship though is I do 680 00:33:26,400 --> 00:33:30,680 Speaker 2: think things can come back around, like with time, friends 681 00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,680 Speaker 2: do come back around in surprising ways. So you never 682 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 2: and you're not talking to him right now? 683 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I've been And how long. 684 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,640 Speaker 2: Has it been since y'all haven't talked? 685 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:45,240 Speaker 1: Like exactly a week, dude, which is long, which is 686 00:33:45,400 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: long for me. 687 00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 2: That's so funny. 688 00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:50,640 Speaker 1: No, this is why I'm not telling people though, because 689 00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:52,600 Speaker 1: I'm like, I mean people are. 690 00:33:52,560 --> 00:33:55,200 Speaker 2: Obsessed with each other. Sure you know. 691 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I hate to admit that I am, but like 692 00:33:57,280 --> 00:33:59,040 Speaker 1: I mean, and yeah, And. 693 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 2: The thing is, I don't I think the listeners know this. 694 00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,080 Speaker 2: But he was at the storytelling show when you told 695 00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:05,800 Speaker 2: the story. He was in the crowd. Can I say 696 00:34:05,800 --> 00:34:07,120 Speaker 2: this with another girl? 697 00:34:07,520 --> 00:34:08,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, he did bring a date. 698 00:34:08,680 --> 00:34:11,360 Speaker 2: He brought a date to the show, a date. 699 00:34:11,200 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 1: That he met on a dating app and like had 700 00:34:13,520 --> 00:34:16,480 Speaker 1: gone on dates with before, like years prior to this. 701 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:20,280 Speaker 2: And a part of y'all's relationship dynamic is like him 702 00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:23,320 Speaker 2: being humiliated in front of other girls. 703 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,600 Speaker 1: I think that it's more like in front of other men. 704 00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:29,080 Speaker 1: But like I think a part, a big part of 705 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:34,960 Speaker 1: like a typical aspect of like a cuck kink interest 706 00:34:35,040 --> 00:34:39,600 Speaker 1: fetish is like being humiliated in front of like your 707 00:34:39,640 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: girlfriend's friends. 708 00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,799 Speaker 2: So No, I remember him standing like so casually in 709 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:46,279 Speaker 2: the back after you had just told the story, and 710 00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,440 Speaker 2: I was just like, wow, this man is insane. 711 00:34:48,880 --> 00:34:53,480 Speaker 1: Yeah no, yeah, and yeah, and he is. I mean, 712 00:34:53,560 --> 00:34:56,480 Speaker 1: like I also was like amazed by him sometimes, like 713 00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:01,040 Speaker 1: the way that like I don't know, and I'm just 714 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:03,239 Speaker 1: like I never met someone who was able to like 715 00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,839 Speaker 1: go over mental hurdles, just like using his kink, like 716 00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:09,080 Speaker 1: he was just able to make it like incorporate it 717 00:35:09,120 --> 00:35:11,719 Speaker 1: part of the kink dynamic between us, and like it 718 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,880 Speaker 1: would be fine even like the like psycho things that 719 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:16,960 Speaker 1: I would do. I don't know. 720 00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:21,520 Speaker 2: So you're seven days out from seven days over, you 721 00:35:21,560 --> 00:35:25,120 Speaker 2: know what? Yeah, with your reconship to the word voiceover, like. 722 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:31,000 Speaker 1: I think, like post like tumultuous dramatic relationship, I will 723 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:33,480 Speaker 1: be voiceover for like a period of time, maybe like 724 00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:34,280 Speaker 1: six months. 725 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:37,160 Speaker 2: The thing one lesson that I have learned is to 726 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 2: never give myself a timeline, right because I if I 727 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,000 Speaker 2: put a timeline on the table, it's like I'm just waiting. 728 00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:46,560 Speaker 2: It's just that's like a it's a day by day 729 00:35:46,760 --> 00:35:47,359 Speaker 2: that's like loose. 730 00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:50,640 Speaker 1: Based on like post five year relationship, I was like, 731 00:35:51,120 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: I need to learn how to like be alone with. 732 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,600 Speaker 2: Myself, right, which, like I hate. 733 00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,240 Speaker 1: Being alone up here, So it's good to get comfortable 734 00:35:59,239 --> 00:35:59,520 Speaker 1: with that. 735 00:35:59,719 --> 00:36:02,640 Speaker 2: What one thing you've had to unlearn about heartbreak? 736 00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:07,440 Speaker 1: Like going into this heartbreak project, I thought I was 737 00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 1: just gonna be able to like detach from it and 738 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,680 Speaker 1: just like have him be emotionally invested without getting emotionally 739 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:17,719 Speaker 1: invested in myself and oh, such a lie I told 740 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:21,680 Speaker 1: myself or something I unlearned was like I broke my 741 00:36:21,760 --> 00:36:23,640 Speaker 1: own heart a million times. 742 00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,680 Speaker 2: Well, hey, congratulations on seven days. 743 00:36:26,800 --> 00:36:28,759 Speaker 1: Thank you. He did. Okay, I was gonna say he 744 00:36:28,760 --> 00:36:31,200 Speaker 1: did send me money. He did send me one hundred 745 00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:35,080 Speaker 1: dollars like three days ago, but I didn't respond. And 746 00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:37,040 Speaker 1: he is calling. I have blocked him, blocked. He is 747 00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:41,879 Speaker 1: calling me like no caller ID star sixty seven. Yeah, 748 00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,040 Speaker 1: he's calling and I'm not picking up, which is big 749 00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,000 Speaker 1: because yeah, I love to pick up. 750 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,040 Speaker 2: Let that man go for a minute. 751 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:49,320 Speaker 1: I'm also like one hundred dollars. 752 00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:51,960 Speaker 2: Hell, no, one hundred. I'm gonna get you right now. 753 00:36:52,560 --> 00:36:53,360 Speaker 2: Trump's America. 754 00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:58,919 Speaker 1: I'm like, I need ten times one hundred times. Ten 755 00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:01,000 Speaker 1: times is one thousand dollar dollars. One hundred times is 756 00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:02,239 Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars. 757 00:37:01,920 --> 00:37:03,520 Speaker 2: One hundred thousand dollars, and you'll pick. 758 00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:06,600 Speaker 1: Up, yeah, one hundred thousand dollars and pick up all right, there. 759 00:37:06,440 --> 00:37:09,040 Speaker 2: You go now, you know, Okay, Story, thank you so 760 00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,000 Speaker 2: much for coming on and thanks for having me so 761 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:16,000 Speaker 2: so fun great news listeners. It has now been a 762 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:19,200 Speaker 2: month since Story and I talked and I have an 763 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,040 Speaker 2: update that she has not talked to her finance bros. Since. 764 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:26,759 Speaker 2: I hope y'all were entertained by this story and maybe 765 00:37:26,840 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 2: got some ideas on how to spice up a sticky 766 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,560 Speaker 2: situation of your own. Re Listening to this is making 767 00:37:32,600 --> 00:37:34,640 Speaker 2: me think I need to get that live show back 768 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:37,319 Speaker 2: up and running, so stay tuned for updates on that. 769 00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:40,920 Speaker 2: Until then, Thank you so much for listening, and I'll 770 00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:55,239 Speaker 2: talk to y'all next week. Boysover is a production of 771 00:37:55,320 --> 00:38:00,400 Speaker 2: iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host Hopewardard. Our executive produce are 772 00:38:00,440 --> 00:38:05,520 Speaker 2: Christina Everett and Julie Pinero. Our supervising producer is Emily Meronoff. 773 00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:11,200 Speaker 2: Our assistant producer is Logan Palau. Engineering by Bahid Fraser 774 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:16,200 Speaker 2: and mixing and mastering by Abu Zafar. If you liked 775 00:38:16,239 --> 00:38:19,960 Speaker 2: this episode, please tell a friend and don't forget to rate, review, 776 00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:24,359 Speaker 2: and subscribe to boy Sober on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, 777 00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:26,440 Speaker 2: and wherever you get your favorite shows.