1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: Hey guys, it's Kelly. I just wanted to do a 2 00:00:02,680 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: quick podcast and say thank you for um all the 3 00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:08,640 Speaker 1: feedback and just support that you guys have given me. 4 00:00:08,640 --> 00:00:12,560 Speaker 1: After Wednesday's episode where I openly talked about the breakdown 5 00:00:12,560 --> 00:00:15,000 Speaker 1: that I had last week and just my need for 6 00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:19,200 Speaker 1: a mental health break. I have never contemplated taking a 7 00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:22,400 Speaker 1: break like who takes breaks? Honestly, has that ever even 8 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:24,920 Speaker 1: crossed anyone's mind because I didn't even think of that 9 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:28,040 Speaker 1: as an option. It just doesn't line up with our culture. 10 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:31,960 Speaker 1: You know, we're always praising super women and boss bitches, 11 00:00:32,159 --> 00:00:35,199 Speaker 1: and I thought to myself, how can I be the 12 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 1: one that says, wait a second, I actually just need 13 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,120 Speaker 1: to get quiet. I need to get to know myself again. 14 00:00:41,280 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 1: I need to ask myself some hard questions about my life. 15 00:00:44,240 --> 00:00:46,479 Speaker 1: And I just need to face some pain and I 16 00:00:46,520 --> 00:00:50,519 Speaker 1: need to heal. It hurts. It is honestly really scary. 17 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 1: It's can It can be scary as fuck. But I 18 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,480 Speaker 1: know in me that this pause is what I need. 19 00:00:57,200 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: I don't think that I'm who I used to be, 20 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:03,680 Speaker 1: and I'm actually starting to get okay with that. Um. 21 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,000 Speaker 1: The last three years have just been a lot. They've 22 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 1: been really intense, I think for all of us. Um 23 00:01:10,280 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 1: But if I didn't take the time to really walk 24 00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:18,560 Speaker 1: myself through some of the losses or changes or shifts 25 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:21,120 Speaker 1: that have happened in my own life, I don't think 26 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:26,920 Speaker 1: I would be doing myself a service any other time 27 00:01:26,959 --> 00:01:29,520 Speaker 1: that I've experienced times like this, you know, these really 28 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:34,040 Speaker 1: tough seasons or dark seasons. If I do the work 29 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:38,039 Speaker 1: and I take the time to pay attention to myself 30 00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 1: and again, like I said, get to know myself through 31 00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:44,160 Speaker 1: this pain, I always end up liking myself or the 32 00:01:44,200 --> 00:01:47,240 Speaker 1: person that I am on the other side so much more. 33 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 1: I think we live in a world that praises the go, 34 00:01:50,560 --> 00:01:54,320 Speaker 1: you know, we applaud this chaotic life or being busy 35 00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:56,680 Speaker 1: is what makes you so important? Like your day is 36 00:01:56,720 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 1: so stacked, Oh, you must be so important. But why 37 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: aren't we asking ourselves the harder questions like why aren't 38 00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:07,320 Speaker 1: we saying to each other, how are you really doing? 39 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:09,920 Speaker 1: And if I asked you that, could you even answer 40 00:02:09,960 --> 00:02:13,760 Speaker 1: that question? Like do you know right now, in this moment, 41 00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: in this day, how are you actually doing? I did. 42 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: I couldn't answer those questions for myself. I realized I 43 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 1: couldn't answer how I was doing, how I felt, or 44 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 1: who I am. I told you guys on Wednesday that 45 00:02:26,800 --> 00:02:28,520 Speaker 1: I wrote on a piece of paper, who the funk 46 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 1: am I? And I just stared at that sentence for hours, 47 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,679 Speaker 1: not able to actually answer the question. And I don't 48 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:38,000 Speaker 1: mean who am I? Like what do I do? Or 49 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: what do I have? Or how do I show myself 50 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 1: to the world. I mean on the inside internally, who 51 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: the fuck am I? Without all that stuff, without showing 52 00:02:48,520 --> 00:02:53,840 Speaker 1: up and showing out, without presenting who am I? Actually, 53 00:02:54,720 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: that's what this break is for me. It's it's getting 54 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:01,400 Speaker 1: to know the real me again and getting to know 55 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,920 Speaker 1: this new version of me. I don't know exactly how 56 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,120 Speaker 1: it's going to play out, which is just not how 57 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:09,160 Speaker 1: I typically like to live, but I will say I 58 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: know that during this break there's probably going to be 59 00:03:11,840 --> 00:03:14,640 Speaker 1: a lot more sleep. There's gonna be some yoga, some 60 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:18,359 Speaker 1: long walks, and just getting comfortable with the quiet again, 61 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 1: just sitting with myself and being content in that, finding 62 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: my peace um the versus looking externally for validation. With 63 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 1: all of that said, I know you guys know that 64 00:03:32,960 --> 00:03:34,960 Speaker 1: I wouldn't be me if I just left y'all hanging, 65 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,120 Speaker 1: so there will still be a new podcast going up 66 00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: each week while I'm gone. I've lined up some really 67 00:03:40,480 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: awesome ladies in Nashville who are all badasses in their 68 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 1: own right. You will know their names and their public jobs, 69 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:50,360 Speaker 1: their outer world stories. But of course, here on Velvet Edge, 70 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: because this is what we do, they are going to 71 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,200 Speaker 1: get real with you guys and talk about the truth. 72 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:56,800 Speaker 1: They're gonna talk about all sides of themselves, you know, 73 00:03:57,440 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: their struggles with taking care of their own own mental health, 74 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: not just what they're presenting to the world, but actual 75 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: reality of who they are as a whole. There's gonna 76 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: be stories from loss of family members to PTSD, to 77 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: struggles with eating disorders and codependency, coping mechanisms, recovery from 78 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 1: sexual abuse and what that's looked like, and also healing 79 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: relationship trauma. They will be coming to you guys with 80 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,440 Speaker 1: the real stories of their lives and the things they've 81 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: learned about themselves, their healing processes, and also how they 82 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:31,960 Speaker 1: learned to play and find joy again. I think that's 83 00:04:31,960 --> 00:04:35,039 Speaker 1: a huge piece of what I've been missing in my life, 84 00:04:35,200 --> 00:04:39,640 Speaker 1: is finding time to just play, even as a thirty 85 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:42,200 Speaker 1: nine year old woman. I think that's so important to 86 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: being a whole person and being content in our lives. 87 00:04:46,440 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 1: I personally want to do this because I just don't 88 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,600 Speaker 1: want any of us to ever feel alone. The past 89 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,080 Speaker 1: few few years alone have been this huge collective trauma, 90 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,960 Speaker 1: and I know for me personally, I felt super isolated 91 00:04:59,040 --> 00:05:02,159 Speaker 1: lately in I was feeling, you know, until I actually 92 00:05:02,200 --> 00:05:05,039 Speaker 1: said it out loud and just owned the truth, I 93 00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:10,760 Speaker 1: felt really alone. But if we can't connect and get 94 00:05:10,800 --> 00:05:13,520 Speaker 1: real with each other, I just want to say, what's 95 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,359 Speaker 1: the point. The second that I opened up and I 96 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,520 Speaker 1: said my truth, I immediately got feedback from you guys 97 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,920 Speaker 1: that you were feeling similar things or the same exact thing, 98 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 1: and me saying it out loud gave you permission to 99 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:28,800 Speaker 1: say it to you, to yourself, and to actually own 100 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: your truth and not feel guilty or embarrassed or full 101 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:34,880 Speaker 1: of shame because you actually weren't okay, You weren't fine 102 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: like we always try to say. I think that that's 103 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 1: the point that we're supposed to be here to support 104 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,359 Speaker 1: each other through that. You know, I don't think fine 105 00:05:43,520 --> 00:05:46,440 Speaker 1: is good enough anymore. Somewhere inside of me, I know, 106 00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:49,800 Speaker 1: wholeheartedly that this life has so much more to offer 107 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:54,400 Speaker 1: than just being fine. And if things are just fine 108 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:58,080 Speaker 1: or they're less than fine, how can we get honest 109 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:01,200 Speaker 1: with each other and support each other through that? To me, 110 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,200 Speaker 1: that's the truth of living, and that's where the healing is. 111 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,359 Speaker 1: That's what I'm on my journey to. I love you, guys, 112 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:09,719 Speaker 1: and I thank you so much for the continued support. 113 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,400 Speaker 1: It truly does mean so much more to me than 114 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: I can communicate or that you even know, so thank 115 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:18,320 Speaker 1: you for being here. Keep listening. I have a lot 116 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,880 Speaker 1: of exciting things coming up for you.