1 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,159 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello, Welcome to the special weekend edition of The 2 00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:20,239 Speaker 1: Naughty but Nice Show. I'm your host, Rob Shooter, and 3 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:23,119 Speaker 1: you probably know me as a gossip columnist and entertainment 4 00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:27,600 Speaker 1: reporter a level the tea or the dish on celebrities. 5 00:00:27,640 --> 00:00:32,040 Speaker 1: But I'm also a best selling author and one of 6 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:38,480 Speaker 1: the world's most respected experts on change, on happiness, on habits, 7 00:00:38,920 --> 00:00:41,519 Speaker 1: and so for ten minutes each weekend, we put out 8 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: these special bonus podcasts, and we don't talk about celebrities. 9 00:00:46,360 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: In fact, we don't even focus on them, not one 10 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 1: little bit. What we do is talk about and focus 11 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: on you. Today's topic is it's smart to think about winning, 12 00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:04,240 Speaker 1: not losing. One positive thought at a time is the 13 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:09,000 Speaker 1: only way to win the game of life. Hopefully, it's 14 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,959 Speaker 1: a game we're all playing for a very long time, 15 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 1: so don't be in too much of a rush. In fact, 16 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:20,840 Speaker 1: I want you all to slow down, to take a 17 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:26,319 Speaker 1: breath and live each moment to its fullest while learning 18 00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: the rules you're going to need to know if you 19 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,399 Speaker 1: are going to win. To get the best results, you 20 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:38,520 Speaker 1: need to play with a clear head. You wouldn't expect 21 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:41,920 Speaker 1: to win a game of tennis or even can't if 22 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:47,520 Speaker 1: you are feeling down, negative, and exhausted. So how can 23 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:51,200 Speaker 1: you expect to win the most important game you will 24 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:56,480 Speaker 1: ever play, the game of life without clarity. I have 25 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,080 Speaker 1: played it both ways. I've played it with a negative 26 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: mindset and also a positive mental game, and trust me, 27 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:11,360 Speaker 1: trust me, the latter is much much better. We all 28 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,040 Speaker 1: know what it's like to be in a bad place, 29 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:18,320 Speaker 1: a place where it is hard to believe that things 30 00:02:18,360 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: are ever going to get better, and they won't if 31 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:27,679 Speaker 1: you are waiting for somebody to come and save you. Instead, 32 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:34,040 Speaker 1: be the solution and start thinking about winning, not losing. 33 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: Barack Obama said the following quote. Change will not come 34 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:43,200 Speaker 1: if we wait for some other person or some other time. 35 00:02:43,919 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are 36 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,760 Speaker 1: the change that we seek. I know this to be 37 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:55,399 Speaker 1: true because I've failed at the game of life for 38 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:59,079 Speaker 1: a really long time. I knew I needed to make 39 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:03,040 Speaker 1: big change. I knew that nobody was coming to save me, 40 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: but I didn't know what those changes should be. That is, 41 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:15,560 Speaker 1: until I allowed myself to start thinking about winning, not losing. 42 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:20,360 Speaker 1: Playing a bad hand can be made better if you 43 00:03:20,520 --> 00:03:25,359 Speaker 1: make good choices, reject the negative voice, inside your head. 44 00:03:26,080 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: You know the one, that nasty voice that plants horrible 45 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 1: for it's nasty, lies, overstays, it's welcome, and never shuts up. 46 00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:39,040 Speaker 1: You know that voice. Arm yourself with a positive mental 47 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:43,400 Speaker 1: game so that the moment you hear those negative voices 48 00:03:43,480 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: come in, you slam the door shut on them right away. Hey, 49 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,600 Speaker 1: close the windows too, because negativity is all around us 50 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:56,600 Speaker 1: all the time, and we have to protect ourselves. In fact, 51 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 1: it's so sneaky and so devious that you won't even 52 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:04,120 Speaker 1: know it's there until you start to think about winning. 53 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: Then you will discover that, like all those horror movies, 54 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:13,080 Speaker 1: the most dangerous voices are coming from inside the house. 55 00:04:13,800 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 1: Alicia Keys said the following quote, No one will take 56 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:21,080 Speaker 1: care of you if you don't take care of yourself. Amen, 57 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,200 Speaker 1: get into the habit of what I like to call 58 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:29,960 Speaker 1: the positive mind game, a game that I play all 59 00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,800 Speaker 1: day long. The rules are simple. You need to challenge 60 00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: yourself to be more positive in every aspect of your 61 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: life by considering the endless solutions rather than the mounting problems. 62 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:48,800 Speaker 1: For example, my little adorable doggy Dorby Wolf Wolf Wolf 63 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: needs to go for a walk every morning. Get six 64 00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,720 Speaker 1: thirty am. Now I moved his dinner back, and how 65 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:55,599 Speaker 1: I pushed it back an hour. So now this walk 66 00:04:55,880 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: is at seven thirty am, which is still an hour 67 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:02,360 Speaker 1: before Daddy likes to get out of bed. However, after 68 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,839 Speaker 1: months of moaning that there is no snooze button on 69 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,799 Speaker 1: a dog, I started to play the positive mind game 70 00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:16,799 Speaker 1: and transformed the negative into a positive. Let me explain now, 71 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:19,240 Speaker 1: in the morning, at seven point thirty, when I walk 72 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: down twenty fourth Street as the city starts to come alive, 73 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:27,719 Speaker 1: wake up and stretch, it's actually kind of amazing. I've 74 00:05:27,760 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 1: got to meet people in my building who I have 75 00:05:30,240 --> 00:05:33,280 Speaker 1: never met before, and I've ended up actually becoming really 76 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: friendly with one of my morning neighbors and his beautiful 77 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:42,200 Speaker 1: standard poodle, Hello Lola. Plus, I get an extra hour 78 00:05:42,279 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: each morning now to focus on myself before my phone 79 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: starts to blow up with all the breaking celebrity news 80 00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:51,719 Speaker 1: pouring in from around the world. It was during those 81 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:55,240 Speaker 1: sixty extra minutes I now get every day that I 82 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:59,159 Speaker 1: finally got to finish my book the forward answer it 83 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 1: would never have had. And if Darby hadn't got me 84 00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 1: up in the morning to take him outside, I've come 85 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:10,400 Speaker 1: to see my mornings now as a blessing living in 86 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:15,680 Speaker 1: a city I adore knowing unconditional love from my little 87 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:20,599 Speaker 1: boy Derby. I'm even slightly embarrassed to admit that, after 88 00:06:20,720 --> 00:06:24,320 Speaker 1: all these years of thinking otherwise, I'm actually a morning 89 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,440 Speaker 1: person who knew and it's all because I chose to 90 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:33,240 Speaker 1: look at doing exactly the same task in a totally different, 91 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 1: positive way. Change the way you think, and you will 92 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:42,760 Speaker 1: change your life. Oscar Wilde said the following quote. The 93 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:47,680 Speaker 1: optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the whole. See 94 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:51,160 Speaker 1: the doughnut, my friends, And if you can't change your situation, 95 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:56,159 Speaker 1: you can change your mind, which is exactly what I 96 00:06:56,320 --> 00:07:00,960 Speaker 1: did just a few weeks ago, jumping into a tank 97 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:05,680 Speaker 1: car early one morning after walking Derby, feeling grumpy, tired, 98 00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:09,159 Speaker 1: and overworked. I was heading to Good Day New York 99 00:07:09,200 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 1: to talk with one of my favorite people in the morning, 100 00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: Rosanna Scatto, about last night's Grammy Awards. There was literally 101 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:22,320 Speaker 1: nothing wrong with this picture except my attitude. As we 102 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:25,960 Speaker 1: shot up Eighth Avenue in a chauffeur driven card that 103 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,960 Speaker 1: the show had provided, I put down the notes and 104 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 1: I looked out of the window it was a beautiful 105 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:37,400 Speaker 1: day outside and I was about to ruin it. I 106 00:07:37,520 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: caught myself, and just like that, I stopped. I refocused, 107 00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: and I thought about winning. Of all the entertainment experts 108 00:07:48,320 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: in the world, New York's Top morning show wanted me, 109 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:56,000 Speaker 1: what was my problem with that. You can be angry 110 00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:58,720 Speaker 1: when you get the wrong order at Starbucks, or you 111 00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:01,080 Speaker 1: can be grateful you can afford a cup of coffee 112 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 1: that's six seven dollars. You can snap back when someone 113 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:07,680 Speaker 1: pushes in front of you at the supermarket, or you 114 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,680 Speaker 1: can shake it off and think about the delicious treats 115 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:14,080 Speaker 1: you're going to have for dinner. The point is, smart 116 00:08:14,120 --> 00:08:18,760 Speaker 1: people understand that in a world where circumstances are out 117 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:23,640 Speaker 1: of your control, you get to control the way you react. 118 00:08:24,320 --> 00:08:29,680 Speaker 1: Realize that the small decisions you make every moment add 119 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:34,560 Speaker 1: up to define who you are in the big picture. 120 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:39,080 Speaker 1: Stop getting in the way of your story and start 121 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:43,880 Speaker 1: enjoying what is outside of your window. Henry Matisse said 122 00:08:43,920 --> 00:08:47,960 Speaker 1: the following, I love this quote. There are always flowers 123 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,280 Speaker 1: for those who want to see them. I want to 124 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,679 Speaker 1: see the flowers. I want to be that person. Here's 125 00:08:54,679 --> 00:08:57,960 Speaker 1: an exercise you can do that will help see if 126 00:08:58,040 --> 00:09:03,240 Speaker 1: you can go an entire without complaining. I know from 127 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:07,120 Speaker 1: experience it's actually a lot harder than it sounds. Write 128 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,319 Speaker 1: down every single time you can plain in the next 129 00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 1: twenty four hours, and I promise you that by the 130 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:16,320 Speaker 1: time you go to bed, you will complain one more time. 131 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:19,640 Speaker 1: About how long the list is. Mine was over one 132 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,880 Speaker 1: hundred and that was on a day that I considered 133 00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 1: to be a pretty good day. Think about it. If 134 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:30,520 Speaker 1: every complaint you have is just sixty seconds long, when 135 00:09:30,559 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: you complain one hundred times a day, one hour and 136 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:41,239 Speaker 1: forty minutes is wasted on evading responsibility and finding a solution. 137 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 1: Jessica Simpson said the following quote, You don't have a 138 00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:48,840 Speaker 1: problem if the problem can be solved by doing something 139 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 1: about it. I would argue most of our problems can 140 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 1: go away if we do something about it. I remember 141 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 1: being invited to this really fancy book party David Zizenko. 142 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:02,920 Speaker 1: It was at the Dream Hotel. You know him. He's 143 00:10:02,920 --> 00:10:05,680 Speaker 1: made a career out of writing those eat this, not 144 00:10:05,920 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: that books, Eat this, not that it's a franchise. He's 145 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 1: got so many of those books out that he has 146 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:15,240 Speaker 1: created a little empire. We knew each other a little 147 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:19,720 Speaker 1: bit professionally from being on the same daytime TV circuit, 148 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,840 Speaker 1: but we weren't close friends. I had a lovely time, 149 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:25,600 Speaker 1: and later that evening I found myself standing alone in 150 00:10:25,679 --> 00:10:30,559 Speaker 1: the bathroom, holding his book in one hand and the 151 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:34,720 Speaker 1: secret of his success in the other. Dave was successful 152 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,720 Speaker 1: not because he was telling people what they should and 153 00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:42,000 Speaker 1: should indeed, but rather because he was identifying a problem 154 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,360 Speaker 1: and offering a solution. Replacing the bad with the good 155 00:10:48,080 --> 00:10:54,000 Speaker 1: was a brilliant idea. Inspired I realized that is exactly 156 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 1: what we need to be doing with the way we think. 157 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: The next time you have a bad, negative thought, replace 158 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:05,760 Speaker 1: it with a good positive one. Pull that sucker out 159 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,800 Speaker 1: that negative thought like it's a weed before it takes root, 160 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 1: and just as importantly, fill the hole it leaves behind 161 00:11:15,920 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 1: with a rose. It's not enough to just get rid 162 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:25,000 Speaker 1: of the bad. We need to replace it with something good. 163 00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:33,520 Speaker 1: Think this not that. Think winning not losing. When she 164 00:11:33,640 --> 00:11:42,200 Speaker 1: replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start seeing positive results. Hey, 165 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,800 Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening. I love doing these 166 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:48,760 Speaker 1: short podcasts on the weekend. The response has been overwhelming 167 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:52,400 Speaker 1: Because of this podcast. I was back on Gma talking 168 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: about the forward answer. We got back into the top 169 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:59,480 Speaker 1: fifty bugs. It's amazing, so thank you everybody. I'm gonna 170 00:11:59,520 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 1: keep doing this podcast as long as you keep listening. 171 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,000 Speaker 1: And let's sign off with our little signature. Remember, if 172 00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:10,080 Speaker 1: you're going to be naughty, you've got to be nice. 173 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:14,079 Speaker 1: Have a great weekend, everybody, pip it. It's not even 174 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:15,520 Speaker 1: nice with Rom.