WEBVTT - You can pivot

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<v Speaker 1>Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning,

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's

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<v Speaker 1>tip is that if someone asks you a question you

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<v Speaker 1>don't really want to answer, you can pivot gently, take

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<v Speaker 1>the conversation in a different direction, and it is quite

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<v Speaker 1>possible the person won't even notice what just happened. So

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<v Speaker 1>we have all been asked awkward questions. Sometimes those questions

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<v Speaker 1>are about personal topics and they're asked by people we're

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<v Speaker 1>not really that close to. Or sometimes the questions are

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<v Speaker 1>about heavy subjects at moments when we just don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to go there. But the good news is that you

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<v Speaker 1>don't face a stark choice between talking about something painful

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<v Speaker 1>or being rude. There is another approach, which is realizing

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<v Speaker 1>that you are engaged in a conversation and not an interrogation.

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<v Speaker 1>You can respond in the spirit of the question without

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<v Speaker 1>answering it, literally pivot to take the conversation in a

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<v Speaker 1>different direction about a related topic, perhaps that you are

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable addressing. So if a work friend asks what you

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<v Speaker 1>did over the weekend and you don't really want to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about the sadness of helping a friend move her

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<v Speaker 1>mom into assisted living. You could say you are looking

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<v Speaker 1>forward to going to your new book club that meets

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<v Speaker 1>for the first time on Monday. You finished the book

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<v Speaker 1>over the weekend. Has your colleague read it? If you

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<v Speaker 1>liked Outlander, you will totally like this book. Or if

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<v Speaker 1>someone asks you how things are going at work and

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<v Speaker 1>you've just given your notice but your boss has asked

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<v Speaker 1>you not to share that news and till there's a

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<v Speaker 1>plan for finding your successor you can breeze past the

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<v Speaker 1>question with oh, works fine, but I wasn't there last

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<v Speaker 1>week because I was in Massachusetts visiting old friends, and

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<v Speaker 1>then you can launch into the highlights of your trip.

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<v Speaker 1>What this approach recognizes is that people are generally asking

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<v Speaker 1>you questions not because they are nosy and not because

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<v Speaker 1>they are on a fact finding mission. They may not

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<v Speaker 1>even be all that curious about the topic they asked

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<v Speaker 1>you about. They just want to express interest in your

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<v Speaker 1>life and connect. So if a topic comes up that

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<v Speaker 1>you don't want to talk about, just honor the interest

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<v Speaker 1>in connecting and take it somewhere that you would like

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<v Speaker 1>to go. Folks who have had media training may recognize

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<v Speaker 1>this technique years ago. When I was first learning how

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<v Speaker 1>to answer interview questions for television and radio. I was

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<v Speaker 1>told that you can pivot from the question they asked

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<v Speaker 1>to the one you want to answer, Just give a

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<v Speaker 1>brief sentence on what they've said, and then you can

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<v Speaker 1>go to But you know, the real issue here is

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<v Speaker 1>or that's certainly an issue. But what I've found most

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<v Speaker 1>exciting is I once witnessed a gentleman running for Congress

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<v Speaker 1>do this again and again, any hot button issue zipped

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<v Speaker 1>past on his mission to talk about securing federal funding

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<v Speaker 1>for a local infrastructure project. I am sure that is

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<v Speaker 1>what his campaign staff told him did best in focus groups,

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<v Speaker 1>and so that is what he was going to talk about.

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<v Speaker 1>Since I have been on the other side of such interviews,

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<v Speaker 1>I can tell you this is occasionally annoying in a

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<v Speaker 1>journalistic context, Sir, can you please answer my question? But

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<v Speaker 1>in most social situations, people just want to connect. They

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<v Speaker 1>may not win the Pulitzer Prize for investigative reporting or

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<v Speaker 1>something like that, but that is not what they were

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<v Speaker 1>aiming for. It will all be fine in the meantime.

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<v Speaker 1>This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making

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<v Speaker 1>the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast.

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<v Speaker 1>If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach

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<v Speaker 1>me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast

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<v Speaker 1>is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia,

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<v Speaker 1>please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you

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<v Speaker 1>listen to your favorite shows.