1 00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:09,560 Speaker 1: Welcome to Before Breakfast, a production of iHeartRadio. Good Morning, 2 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:17,400 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast. Today's 3 00:00:17,400 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 1: tip is that if someone asks you a question you 4 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 1: don't really want to answer, you can pivot gently, take 5 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:29,800 Speaker 1: the conversation in a different direction, and it is quite 6 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:35,519 Speaker 1: possible the person won't even notice what just happened. So 7 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:40,479 Speaker 1: we have all been asked awkward questions. Sometimes those questions 8 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:43,560 Speaker 1: are about personal topics and they're asked by people we're 9 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:47,360 Speaker 1: not really that close to. Or sometimes the questions are 10 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:51,040 Speaker 1: about heavy subjects at moments when we just don't want 11 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: to go there. But the good news is that you 12 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: don't face a stark choice between talking about something painful 13 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:03,960 Speaker 1: or being rude. There is another approach, which is realizing 14 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 1: that you are engaged in a conversation and not an interrogation. 15 00:01:10,520 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 1: You can respond in the spirit of the question without 16 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:20,240 Speaker 1: answering it, literally pivot to take the conversation in a 17 00:01:20,319 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: different direction about a related topic, perhaps that you are 18 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:29,760 Speaker 1: comfortable addressing. So if a work friend asks what you 19 00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,240 Speaker 1: did over the weekend and you don't really want to 20 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 1: talk about the sadness of helping a friend move her 21 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,080 Speaker 1: mom into assisted living. You could say you are looking 22 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 1: forward to going to your new book club that meets 23 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:43,679 Speaker 1: for the first time on Monday. You finished the book 24 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: over the weekend. Has your colleague read it? If you 25 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,880 Speaker 1: liked Outlander, you will totally like this book. Or if 26 00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,120 Speaker 1: someone asks you how things are going at work and 27 00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:56,240 Speaker 1: you've just given your notice but your boss has asked 28 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: you not to share that news and till there's a 29 00:01:58,240 --> 00:02:01,840 Speaker 1: plan for finding your successor you can breeze past the 30 00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:04,720 Speaker 1: question with oh, works fine, but I wasn't there last 31 00:02:04,720 --> 00:02:08,160 Speaker 1: week because I was in Massachusetts visiting old friends, and 32 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,760 Speaker 1: then you can launch into the highlights of your trip. 33 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:16,800 Speaker 1: What this approach recognizes is that people are generally asking 34 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:21,040 Speaker 1: you questions not because they are nosy and not because 35 00:02:21,040 --> 00:02:24,480 Speaker 1: they are on a fact finding mission. They may not 36 00:02:24,639 --> 00:02:27,200 Speaker 1: even be all that curious about the topic they asked 37 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: you about. They just want to express interest in your 38 00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: life and connect. So if a topic comes up that 39 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:37,680 Speaker 1: you don't want to talk about, just honor the interest 40 00:02:37,760 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 1: in connecting and take it somewhere that you would like 41 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,880 Speaker 1: to go. Folks who have had media training may recognize 42 00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:50,679 Speaker 1: this technique years ago. When I was first learning how 43 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:55,120 Speaker 1: to answer interview questions for television and radio. I was 44 00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: told that you can pivot from the question they asked 45 00:02:58,120 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 1: to the one you want to answer, Just give a 46 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,400 Speaker 1: brief sentence on what they've said, and then you can 47 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,440 Speaker 1: go to But you know, the real issue here is 48 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:08,640 Speaker 1: or that's certainly an issue. But what I've found most 49 00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:13,480 Speaker 1: exciting is I once witnessed a gentleman running for Congress 50 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:18,280 Speaker 1: do this again and again, any hot button issue zipped 51 00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,440 Speaker 1: past on his mission to talk about securing federal funding 52 00:03:21,760 --> 00:03:26,080 Speaker 1: for a local infrastructure project. I am sure that is 53 00:03:26,120 --> 00:03:29,320 Speaker 1: what his campaign staff told him did best in focus groups, 54 00:03:30,280 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: and so that is what he was going to talk about. 55 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: Since I have been on the other side of such interviews, 56 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,800 Speaker 1: I can tell you this is occasionally annoying in a 57 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:46,480 Speaker 1: journalistic context, Sir, can you please answer my question? But 58 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 1: in most social situations, people just want to connect. They 59 00:03:50,840 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 1: may not win the Pulitzer Prize for investigative reporting or 60 00:03:54,040 --> 00:03:57,160 Speaker 1: something like that, but that is not what they were 61 00:03:57,200 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 1: aiming for. It will all be fine in the meantime. 62 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 1: This is Laura. Thanks for listening, and here's to making 63 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:18,479 Speaker 1: the most of our time. Thanks for listening to Before Breakfast. 64 00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:22,800 Speaker 1: If you've got questions, ideas, or feedback, you can reach 65 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: me at Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. Before Breakfast 66 00:04:32,560 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartMedia. For more podcasts from iHeartMedia, 67 00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:40,960 Speaker 1: please visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you 68 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 1: listen to your favorite shows.