WEBVTT - Finding Legitimacy With Aida Rodriguez 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.000 This is Latino USA, the radio journal of News and 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:05.680 courtur latin US. 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:07.480 Latin Latino USA. 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:11.320 I'm Maria Inojosa. We bring you stories that are underreported 0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:14.160 but that mattered to you, overlooked by the rest of 0:00:14.160 --> 0:00:16.400 the media, and while the country is struggling to deal 0:00:16.440 --> 0:00:18.520 with these, we listen to the stories of black and 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:23.840 Latino Studio United Latino Front, a cultural renaissance organizing at 0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:31.880 the forefront of the movement. I'm Maria Ino JOSSA. Dear listener, 0:00:32.280 --> 0:00:34.839 heads up here that there are mentions of suicide and 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:41.559 some explicit language, so be prepared. Thank you back. 0:00:42.280 --> 0:00:44.720 It's a cold autumn night and the streets of Chelsea, 0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:48.239 New York City are bustling. I'm on my way to 0:00:48.280 --> 0:00:52.280 meet comedian Ada Rodriguez at the Chelsea Music Hall. She 0:00:52.360 --> 0:00:55.520 had the comedy show tonight. I've never seen her life before, 0:00:55.560 --> 0:00:59.120 but I really enjoy her work because she really goes there, 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.000 especially when she talks about Latinos. 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:04.440 And I grew up going to the hair salon with 0:01:04.520 --> 0:01:07.760 my grandmother every week, and every week they try to 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:13.160 blow dry the Dominican out of me because Latinos are racist. 0:01:14.120 --> 0:01:16.920 They can be very racist. They're racist with others, and 0:01:16.959 --> 0:01:18.280 they're racist with each. 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.400 Other too, Like Either's mom is Puerto Rican, her dad 0:01:21.520 --> 0:01:24.160 is Dominican, and her stepfather is Cuban. 0:01:24.319 --> 0:01:26.560 Some of them think they're better than Haitians because they 0:01:26.560 --> 0:01:30.640 speak Spanish right, and Cubans think they're better than the 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.160 Dominicans because they're a little lighter and they think they 0:01:33.200 --> 0:01:38.280 speak better Spanish. And Puerto Ricans think they're better than 0:01:38.319 --> 0:01:39.759 all of them because they're citizens. 0:01:46.280 --> 0:01:49.360 Once they get to the venue, I meet Eithera, Hi, ayva, 0:01:49.480 --> 0:01:51.120 It's so nice to meet you. Thank you for making time. 0:01:51.120 --> 0:01:55.840 I really appreciate it. She's headlining the venue and she 0:01:56.000 --> 0:01:56.560 loves it. 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:00.840 I always get nervous. I'm exhausted, but I'm excited new material, 0:02:01.200 --> 0:02:04.360 but very excited because there are not many Latinas in 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:08.320 stand up period, specifically the ones that get the opportunities 0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:10.960 to headline. So I don't take this stuff lightly. 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:17.480 I Either takes the stage in front of a packed audience. 0:02:17.919 --> 0:02:21.600 Wow me, Handa, how beautiful you are. I'm so happy 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:26.600 to see you. Wow. All right, let's get started. 0:02:31.760 --> 0:02:34.919 From Vuduro Media and BrX, it's Latino USA. 0:02:35.200 --> 0:02:36.280 I'm Maria Josa. 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:41.399 Today, Comedian Aida Rodriguez on family and comedy, and how 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:54.440 she fuses both of these to heal our Latino USA 0:02:54.480 --> 0:02:59.080 producer Ronaldo Lanos Junior recently met up with Aida Rodriguez 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:01.200 for a conversation, and he's going to pick up this 0:03:01.240 --> 0:03:01.959 story from here. 0:03:06.840 --> 0:03:10.320 Aida Rodriguez was born in Boston. Her first comedy gig 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:13.240 on stage was in the late two thousands, but her 0:03:13.240 --> 0:03:16.280 breakthrough came later when she was a top ten finalist 0:03:16.320 --> 0:03:20.560 on The Last Comic Standing in twenty fourteen. Here's Aia 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.000 talking on the show at the time about a moment 0:03:23.080 --> 0:03:25.400 when her daughter told her that she had a bully. 0:03:25.960 --> 0:03:29.519 I said, a bully that's called writes a passage. You're 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:31.960 gonna always have a bully. Right one day, a bully's 0:03:32.000 --> 0:03:36.560 name is going to be taxes and Supervisor. You don't 0:03:36.560 --> 0:03:39.120 have a bully. She's seventeen years old. I said. What 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.800 you have is a year to do something about it 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.320 before it's a felony. Yea you have. 0:03:46.040 --> 0:03:49.240 In twenty twenty one, Either released an HBO Max comedy 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:54.400 special named Fighting Words. It's also part documentary to this journey. 0:03:54.400 --> 0:03:56.880 I had an opportunity to go to the Dominican Republic 0:03:56.960 --> 0:03:59.600 and meet my father for the first time. And it's 0:03:59.600 --> 0:04:04.000 funny because we sat at a restaurant and every time 0:04:04.000 --> 0:04:06.600 a woman walked in, he'd be like, that's your sister. 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.800 It happened a few times. He was so generous. He 0:04:11.840 --> 0:04:16.520 gave us each our own mother's. He was like, Oprah, 0:04:16.600 --> 0:04:18.360 you got a mother, You got a mother. 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:24.200 The special dives into some tough subjects like eye that's 0:04:24.279 --> 0:04:27.960 upbringing without her father, being homeless, and how her family 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.200 helped her get through it all. At times, Ida's comedy 0:04:31.240 --> 0:04:35.440 gets political. She addresses anti blackness in the Latino community 0:04:35.640 --> 0:04:36.799 and fighting words. 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.360 I was dealing with this shit my whole life. Listen, 0:04:40.400 --> 0:04:46.479 My family was religious, anti abortion until I got pregnant 0:04:46.560 --> 0:04:50.479 from a black dude. Then they became pro abortion in 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:54.240 the name of Jesus. They were like, He'll forgive you 0:04:57.160 --> 0:05:03.120 too much truth for you to night, said Joe. 0:05:05.240 --> 0:05:09.880 Just recently that published her memoir Legitimate Kid, which dives 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:12.719 even deeper into her personal life and some of the 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:16.279 subject matter of her comedy. We're going to hear Aida 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:19.400 read from and talk about why she decided to write 0:05:19.480 --> 0:05:23.400 Legitimate Kid and how it's helped her heal. And Ida 0:05:23.520 --> 0:05:26.880 also brings us moments from her recent comedy show in Chelsea. 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:39.640 Here's Aida Rodriguez. So my name is Iva Rodriguez. My 0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:44.040 title is Queen of the Universe. I actually I'm a 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.400 stand up comedian. I'm a writer, I'm an actor now 0:05:47.440 --> 0:05:51.000 an author, and I'm also a producer and a director. 0:05:51.240 --> 0:05:53.880 So it sounds weird saying all of those things, but 0:05:55.000 --> 0:05:57.680 we have to claim our space. So yeah, I'm all 0:05:57.760 --> 0:05:58.440 of those things. 0:05:59.120 --> 0:06:01.880 Aida says she learn a lot about herself and her 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:03.680 comedy by writing her book. 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:07.120 Everything I Do is an homage to the people and 0:06:07.160 --> 0:06:10.360 the community where I grew up. You know, a marginalized 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:14.839 community of Latinos Latine black people that are working class, 0:06:15.440 --> 0:06:19.000 considered poor, but show up every day to work. And 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:21.479 I am one of those people. I stand on the 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.920 front lines for them because I do feel like some 0:06:24.920 --> 0:06:27.800 people call me problematic, or they say that I say 0:06:27.839 --> 0:06:31.320 things that are incendiary, and I do. I think it's 0:06:31.320 --> 0:06:33.600 important to push the buttons and to talk about it. 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.000 But I also don't think it's cool to go leave 0:06:37.279 --> 0:06:40.480 El Barrio, the hood, the neighborhood, and go get an 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:44.920 education and within the economics realm, and then come back 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.560 and weaponize that education against people who didn't have it. 0:06:48.839 --> 0:06:51.039 So I find myself in this place where I feel 0:06:51.080 --> 0:06:53.839 like I need to stand up for that, and I'm 0:06:53.880 --> 0:06:59.680 comfortable calling it all out. I really lean forward towards progress. 0:07:00.040 --> 0:07:02.800 I'm really about that life when it comes to the people, 0:07:03.240 --> 0:07:05.680 you know, from the immigrant to the black Latino to 0:07:05.839 --> 0:07:09.800 the lgbtq IA person. I was raised by all of 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:14.280 those people. That's my whole family, and so I do 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:16.400 stand up for that. But I think it's important not 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:19.760 to let people who think it's cool to rock with 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:23.160 us when it's trendy to jump aboard and then jump 0:07:23.200 --> 0:07:26.800 off when it's not cool anymore. When you talk about politics, 0:07:26.880 --> 0:07:29.320 right wing and left wing people both do it. But 0:07:29.800 --> 0:07:32.440 beyond that, I think there's just a lot of people who, 0:07:32.600 --> 0:07:34.560 as black people, say they love our rhythm, but they 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:37.680 don't love our blues. And I think that's applicable to 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:40.240 people of color, that people think it's cool to be 0:07:40.320 --> 0:07:43.640 Latino and call you spicy, and we love tacos and 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:45.800 all that stuff. But when it comes to like the 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:48.480 real movement and all of the stuff that is happening 0:07:49.040 --> 0:07:52.520 underneath to all of us, the numbers get really small 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.040 in terms of people who are still standing with us. 0:07:58.600 --> 0:08:01.280 Hi that says she wrote her book because she wanted 0:08:01.320 --> 0:08:04.080 to tell her story and she didn't want to be 0:08:04.200 --> 0:08:04.920 the punchline. 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:07.920 Specifically, when it comes to comedians, people see us like 0:08:07.960 --> 0:08:11.160 as their personal gestures, their clowns. They don't realize that 0:08:11.280 --> 0:08:14.080 it is an occupation. It is a profession and a skill, 0:08:14.200 --> 0:08:17.840 and we employ that at our workplace, and it's a 0:08:18.000 --> 0:08:20.720 very very hard job to do, which is why a 0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:24.200 lot of people are afraid to do it. I've been 0:08:24.240 --> 0:08:26.080 wanting to write a book since I was a little girl. 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:30.800 Writing has always been my therapy. My writing process started 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:32.720 a long time for this book because I had been 0:08:32.760 --> 0:08:36.760 writing essays. You know, I write journal entries. The journal 0:08:36.880 --> 0:08:40.600 entries either become essays or they become jokes, and sometimes 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:43.000 they become both. I want you to understand what that 0:08:43.120 --> 0:08:45.160 story is and at the same time, I want people 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.360 to understand how I mind my comedy and where it 0:08:47.400 --> 0:08:49.480 comes from. And I went away. I went to a 0:08:49.600 --> 0:08:52.960 rubo and I took my mother and my kids with me, 0:08:54.120 --> 0:08:56.920 and it was so triggering because my mom was very 0:08:57.000 --> 0:08:59.400 raw at that time. Was the first time she had 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.559 been out of the since she was a baby, and 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.680 she triggered me, and that is what led me to 0:09:05.880 --> 0:09:07.440 like get a lot of it. 0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:18.040 Out during this process. I that reflected on her childhood. 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:20.560 My childhood was filled with trauma, and there was a 0:09:20.600 --> 0:09:23.280 lot of horrible things that happened, but there was a 0:09:23.360 --> 0:09:24.960 lot of great things that happened and a lot of 0:09:24.960 --> 0:09:27.000 people that showed up for me. I used to think 0:09:27.040 --> 0:09:29.480 of myself as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, and 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.480 I was like, my grandmother is the good witch. My 0:09:31.559 --> 0:09:35.440 mom is a bad witch because my grandmother never disciplined me. 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:39.080 My mom always did. And then my uncles were the Lion, 0:09:39.160 --> 0:09:41.880 the tin man, and the scarecrow combined, and you know, 0:09:41.920 --> 0:09:49.719 it was a bunch of adventures. My grandmother was the 0:09:49.840 --> 0:09:52.440 landlady of the building, so I would collect rents with her, 0:09:52.760 --> 0:09:55.320 so I was hearing information like who was cheating on 0:09:55.360 --> 0:09:58.319 who who? And I was around a lot of adults 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:02.400 all the time, and they felt very comfortable talking about 0:10:02.480 --> 0:10:05.400 adult stuff around me and all the other kids. So 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.319 I just think I had a really interesting childhood. But 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:09.760 I still played a lot of cakeball, lived at the 0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:13.400 truth row Man and the ice cream truck. I ran, 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.240 I climbed trees, I hung out with my little brothers 0:10:16.320 --> 0:10:18.160 until they got old enough not to want to play 0:10:18.200 --> 0:10:21.120 with me anymore. I was blessed. I had a lot. 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.560 Some things happened, but bad things happened to everybody, and 0:10:23.600 --> 0:10:27.040 so I've never just been one to think that, oh, 0:10:27.160 --> 0:10:30.079 it happened to me, trauma doesn't make you special, because 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:31.280 it happens to everybody. 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.000 In third grade, Either was called a bastard by a 0:10:37.000 --> 0:10:40.679 little girl who had her father's last name, something that 0:10:40.840 --> 0:10:44.800 didn't have because Either had her mom's last name, not 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:49.000 her father's, and that moment became a theme in her book. 0:10:56.200 --> 0:10:59.920 I was an innocent minding my own business when one 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.920 a rotten kid in my class named Beth, called me 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:06.480 a bastard. Beth was the first child that I described 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:10.440 as evil. All the kids laughed and taunted me, except 0:11:10.480 --> 0:11:15.599 for Alvaro, my cute, chubby Cuban buddy. But Alvaro was 0:11:15.640 --> 0:11:20.040 also kind, and he responded in my defense, no, she's 0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.520 not a bastard. I am sure he didn't know what 0:11:22.559 --> 0:11:26.319 the word meant either, since he barely knew English. Still, 0:11:26.360 --> 0:11:28.720 it was as though someone saw me at the moment 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.400 and knew that I was feeling naked. I was eight 0:11:31.480 --> 0:11:34.560 years old. When I became conscious of the absence of 0:11:34.600 --> 0:11:44.400 my father in a real way, Beth made sure of it. 0:11:44.400 --> 0:11:46.920 It set me off on this journey to find legitimacy. 0:11:50.440 --> 0:11:54.240 I really learned a lot in my journey, and even 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:55.960 though I didn't have the words for it, but the 0:11:55.960 --> 0:11:59.600 way patriarchy plays a role in placing the importance of 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:03.679 father versus motherhood and the way a child's life is shaped. 0:12:04.280 --> 0:12:07.480 In my family, there was ma chismo and there was 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:11.240 all of this patriarchal framing where the people were like, 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:14.280 you guys are doomed because your father isn't in your life, 0:12:14.840 --> 0:12:17.240 and you heard that all the time. I think that 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:21.000 it really impacted me in that way where I was like, oh, 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:24.120 I'm doomed because I don't have my dad, and girls 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.760 that don't have their dad usually end up pregnant or 0:12:27.800 --> 0:12:30.280 in jail, because that's the stuff that I would hear. 0:12:30.800 --> 0:12:34.440 Those words really do affect you. Going on throughout my 0:12:34.559 --> 0:12:39.080 life trying to understand why I was the kid that 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:42.120 didn't have their own father and what that meant for 0:12:42.320 --> 0:12:44.960 me in terms of my trajectory and where I would go, 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:47.880 but also where it made me feel vulnerable to the 0:12:47.920 --> 0:12:51.240 world because I was taught that father meant protection, and 0:12:51.320 --> 0:12:53.880 so I was thinking, like, compared to some of the 0:12:53.880 --> 0:12:56.640 girls that I knew, who was going to take care 0:12:56.679 --> 0:12:58.320 of me? And it just made me feel like I 0:12:58.400 --> 0:13:03.160 was easy access to predatorial behavior, and I called it 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:07.520 into my life. It came out in my personal relationships 0:13:07.559 --> 0:13:11.920 with friends, romantic, everything that I did. It kept showing 0:13:12.000 --> 0:13:14.959 up because it really became a part of my identity, 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:19.959 and it manifested in ways that I had challenges having 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.400 this deficit in my life, which was I started looking 0:13:23.440 --> 0:13:26.800 for that in my relationships and my romantic relationships, and 0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:30.439 when someone made me feel protected, that was the way 0:13:30.559 --> 0:13:33.959 in for me. I remember having a guy that liked 0:13:34.000 --> 0:13:37.000 me and he would try to beat everybody up who 0:13:37.880 --> 0:13:41.160 tried to do anything to me, and I didn't even 0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:44.160 think about how that could be harmful for him, but 0:13:44.240 --> 0:13:46.720 it was just like, Oh, he really loves me, he 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:52.360 cares about me. I would gravitate towards that. It was 0:13:52.400 --> 0:13:56.760 a pattern Either writes about in her book. The red 0:13:56.760 --> 0:14:00.360 flax kept showing up and I kept ignoring them. Kept 0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:03.400 his phone on silent, would always place it face down 0:14:03.480 --> 0:14:06.320 so that I couldn't see the caller. ID He would 0:14:06.320 --> 0:14:09.040 disappear at night after leaving my place and tell me 0:14:09.080 --> 0:14:12.200 that he fell asleep the next day. I was willing 0:14:12.240 --> 0:14:15.400 to overlook so much just to be with him. It 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.960 was real and mine, and at least I had someone 0:14:19.120 --> 0:14:21.840 I had no idea of what a healthy relationship was. 0:14:25.600 --> 0:14:27.800 My grandmother was a woman who came from Puerto Rico 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:30.600 in the fifties, who never had an opportunity to have 0:14:30.640 --> 0:14:34.520 an education. She moved to America with her two children 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.400 and then have four more kids here. My grandmother was 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:41.400 a door to door saleswoman. She's probably the smartest person 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:43.440 I ever met in my life. And it was so 0:14:43.560 --> 0:14:47.080 funny because she was illiterate, and her and my stepfather 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.040 would go back and forth, and he would point out 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.480 that she was illiterate, and she would always say, yeah, 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:54.240 I can't read, but I can count, and I know 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:55.239 you broke. 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:57.320 Hi. 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.320 That's grandmother with a little rough around the edges. But 0:15:00.840 --> 0:15:03.240 she was always there for Eida when it mattered. 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:08.160 She had come to rescue me. I just knew it. 0:15:08.920 --> 0:15:12.200 I ran as fast as I could grabbed her and 0:15:12.320 --> 0:15:15.640 never wanted to let her go. I would finally be 0:15:15.840 --> 0:15:19.360 free from the horror that was that man. My grandmother 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:22.960 was here to take me home. I remember asking, are 0:15:22.960 --> 0:15:25.760 we going to go get my mom? And my grandmother 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.800 quickly replied, she'll come later. I was so sad to 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:33.360 leave my mama, but I really couldn't take the struggle anymore. 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:37.400 I had been cold, hungry, tired, and molested. It was 0:15:37.440 --> 0:15:46.680 time for me to go. She's just my hero, so 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:48.880 much of my hero that when she got cancer. I 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:51.800 was angry with her when she got sick because I 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.760 couldn't process the fact that she was weak. In my mind, 0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:59.280 it was like, this is not okay. But she was 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:06.360 always there for me, my mom, who I thought was 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.640 my sister in real life. And it was really hard 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:11.600 growing up in a house with a mother that was 0:16:11.640 --> 0:16:16.240 so young, and my mom was a very beautiful woman girl, 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.040 and to think about the fact that she was involved 0:16:19.040 --> 0:16:21.640 with somebody that was so many years her senior and 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:23.840 moved out of the country with and had a child, 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.440 and I was like, that's human trafficking now when you 0:16:26.480 --> 0:16:28.600 think about the things that they were dealing with at 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:32.480 that time that were normal or acceptable, because they weren't normal. 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:36.160 But my mom is one of the most spirited, fearless 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:37.800 people I've ever met in my life. 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.080 Rai that says she considers her mama Queen and that 0:16:43.160 --> 0:16:44.640 she has a lot of respect for her. 0:16:47.600 --> 0:16:50.520 My brother's arrival was not the best. He was born 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:54.280 days after Kuriano beat our mother. He cheated on her, 0:16:54.440 --> 0:16:57.040 and when she found out and confronted him, he didn't 0:16:57.080 --> 0:17:01.000 appreciate her tone or questioning and decided to teacher a lesson. 0:17:01.480 --> 0:17:03.880 He beat a nine months pregnant woman and left her 0:17:03.880 --> 0:17:07.639 for dead in Central Park, and those people who many 0:17:07.680 --> 0:17:11.520 saw as undesirables in society were the ones to take 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.200 care of her and deliver her to the nearest hospital, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:18.440 saving both her and her baby's lives. To this very day, 0:17:18.520 --> 0:17:21.919 she says never looked down on anyone. It was the 0:17:22.000 --> 0:17:30.760 prostitutes and junkies that rescued us. I had to grow 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.960 up with her, so it was really hard, was painful, 0:17:34.000 --> 0:17:36.840 and sometimes fun to have a very young mom that 0:17:36.880 --> 0:17:39.880 would dance with you anywhere. That was the thing about her. 0:17:40.200 --> 0:17:43.159 She was misinformed about discipline because she was hit with 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:46.639 an extension cord. She thought hitting us with the belt 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.320 was a step up. And so thank God for growth, 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.160 because now I've never hit my daughter or my son 0:17:53.200 --> 0:17:56.600 and she's always been like good. So a lot of 0:17:56.600 --> 0:17:59.600 people don't know. My mom went back to school and 0:17:59.640 --> 0:18:03.920 got her and then she went to a technical school 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:07.480 and became a pharmaceutical tech and she graduated from there 0:18:07.520 --> 0:18:11.320 and she had the highest GPA in her class. She's really, 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.480 really smart. And in spite of all of the things 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:15.639 that have happened to her, and a lot of bad 0:18:15.680 --> 0:18:19.840 things happened to her, she still fights. And she's my 0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:27.640 favorite fighter. Mike Tyson ain't got nothing on my mama. 0:18:27.720 --> 0:18:30.760 I cry when I watch movies about family, right like 0:18:31.000 --> 0:18:34.240 we all cry when we saw Setlanta. Selena was, you know, 0:18:35.080 --> 0:18:37.680 a biography, but it was also a story of family. 0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:40.280 None of us are alone, as much as we'd like 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.040 to think that we are. We see that tour bus, 0:18:42.080 --> 0:18:44.879 we see those people. I see movies like Soul Food 0:18:45.000 --> 0:18:48.320 or La Familia, and they would make me cry, and 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:50.800 I had to sit down with myself and say, what 0:18:50.880 --> 0:18:53.600 is it about this stuff that makes you feel this way? 0:18:53.680 --> 0:18:55.440 Why do you feel sad or why do you cry? 0:18:55.440 --> 0:18:58.520 And it's because I realized that above all things, I 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.520 value family. And my children make fun of me because 0:19:01.520 --> 0:19:03.960 I like to eat family style. So when we go 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:06.280 out to eat. They're like, oh, oh, we're gonna have to, 0:19:06.400 --> 0:19:09.560 you know, But I believe in con partiendo, like we 0:19:09.600 --> 0:19:14.440 all eat together, we all taste. It's communion, community. It's 0:19:14.520 --> 0:19:17.800 always been the center of it all. And it took 0:19:17.800 --> 0:19:20.920 me a long time to discover to realize that that 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:25.480 was what was everything to me. And yes, my father 0:19:25.760 --> 0:19:28.359 wasn't there, but there was a father there and it 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:31.880 might not have been the traditional father role, but it 0:19:31.960 --> 0:19:33.840 was everything that I needed and then some. 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:39.960 It was later in life that Aida had a full 0:19:40.000 --> 0:19:43.199 circle moment with her own daughter when it came to 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:44.080 their last name. 0:19:47.000 --> 0:19:50.080 I asked my baby if she knew her name, and 0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:54.080 she looked me in the eye and confidently said, yes, 0:19:54.640 --> 0:19:58.760 I'm a Kayla. Do you know your last name? Akayla? 0:19:58.840 --> 0:20:03.480 What a Kayla Rodriguez, she said, looking me straight in 0:20:03.520 --> 0:20:05.959 the eyes and punching me right in the face with 0:20:06.040 --> 0:20:10.119 it no hesitation. She knew her name. I want to 0:20:10.160 --> 0:20:13.440 be Rodriguez like you, she said, I don't want daddy's 0:20:13.520 --> 0:20:18.040 last name. So many emotions swept through me. I was 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:22.399 so confused and at the same time flattered. She was 0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:25.399 proud of me and wanted to be like me. She 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:28.840 didn't even think about her father, and because he wasn't there, 0:20:29.359 --> 0:20:32.800 she didn't know him enough to like him, let alone 0:20:32.920 --> 0:20:35.960 carry his name. The way she saw it, it was 0:20:36.000 --> 0:20:39.080 a privilege for her to claim me. What a beautiful 0:20:39.119 --> 0:20:42.760 perception to have at that young age. Damn, she was 0:20:42.800 --> 0:20:52.480 my hero. Forgiveness is not a gift that you give 0:20:52.560 --> 0:20:56.280 other people. Forgiveness is a form of self care, and 0:20:56.320 --> 0:20:58.840 I think that a lot of us hold on to forgiveness. 0:20:59.160 --> 0:21:02.480 I will say that human error is inevitable. We all 0:21:02.520 --> 0:21:04.919 do it. And one of the best things that I 0:21:04.960 --> 0:21:07.800 did for myself was to forgive the people who hurt me. 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:10.720 That doesn't mean that I allowed them back into my life, 0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:13.680 that doesn't mean that I am buddy buddy with them, 0:21:13.760 --> 0:21:16.600 that doesn't mean that I even speak to them anymore. 0:21:16.760 --> 0:21:20.000 But what I did do was really come to terms 0:21:20.000 --> 0:21:24.199 with understanding that forgiveness was me taking care of me, 0:21:24.880 --> 0:21:27.360 and it released me from the chains and a lot 0:21:27.359 --> 0:21:29.520 of the pain that I was holding on to. That 0:21:29.560 --> 0:21:31.800 allowed me to move forward in my life. 0:21:33.840 --> 0:21:36.399 Before the show, Either told me that she feels like 0:21:36.480 --> 0:21:39.000 she's in a new chapter of her life, and her 0:21:39.040 --> 0:21:47.480 comedy and set Tonight reflects that. 0:21:47.520 --> 0:21:50.920 Among the people are suffering from depression, and I want 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:52.199 you to know that I see you. 0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:54.919 And then you have found about taking your wife. 0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:58.280 If you are paddling, dad, please talk to somebody. 0:21:58.520 --> 0:22:03.280 Please, sare me regular somebody and don't go to people. 0:22:03.440 --> 0:22:07.040 Don't tell people who are suffering from depression, who are 0:22:07.040 --> 0:22:08.480 thinking about killing yourself. 0:22:10.480 --> 0:22:17.679 Think about your mother, right? What about your children? That 0:22:17.760 --> 0:22:19.720 could very well be the reason a lot of them 0:22:19.720 --> 0:22:23.680 people want to killing themselves. And there you go, agitating 0:22:23.720 --> 0:22:27.320 the wom I want you to be here. 0:22:27.400 --> 0:22:29.879 You are they that says she has struggled with depression 0:22:29.920 --> 0:22:30.720 in her lifetime. 0:22:31.040 --> 0:22:33.240 And I was gonna kill myself and I was gonna 0:22:33.280 --> 0:22:36.159 take my children with me. And I drove to the 0:22:36.200 --> 0:22:38.960 top of the cliff with my two kids in the 0:22:39.119 --> 0:22:41.200 car and I was gonna drive off. 0:22:42.119 --> 0:22:46.840 And my son said, I love you, mommy, and I 0:22:46.960 --> 0:22:55.800 was like, I can't drown him. 0:22:55.880 --> 0:23:02.080 She's a good person. But if that would have just 0:23:02.160 --> 0:23:09.080 been me and my daughter, I don't know if. 0:23:09.000 --> 0:23:15.480 I'd been here today. 0:23:16.200 --> 0:23:20.320 If you or someone you know are struggling with thoughts 0:23:20.320 --> 0:23:24.600 of suicide, contact the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at nine 0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:29.000 eight eight. And just so you know, this book will 0:23:29.040 --> 0:23:31.760 be available in Spanish in early March. 0:23:51.640 --> 0:23:54.960 This episode was produced by Rinaldo Lanos Junior and edited 0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:58.560 by Haley Sanchez. It was mixed by JJ Grubin and 0:23:58.600 --> 0:24:01.600 Special Things This Week to Harper Audio for letting us 0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:06.520 use excerpts from the audio version of AIDA's book Legitimate Kid. 0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:12.840 The Latino USA team also includes Victoria Estrada, Andrea Lopez Grussado, Bilordi, 0:24:12.920 --> 0:24:17.840 mar Marquez, Marta Martinez, Mike Sargent, Nur Saudi and Nancy Trucquillo. 0:24:18.240 --> 0:24:21.600 Beni Lee Ramidez is our co executive producer. Our director 0:24:21.640 --> 0:24:24.639 of Engineering is Stephanie the Beau. Our senior engineer is 0:24:24.680 --> 0:24:29.120 Julia Caruso. Additional engineering support by Gabrielle Abyez. Our marketing 0:24:29.160 --> 0:24:32.399 manager is Luis Luna. Our theme music was composed by 0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:36.280