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Speaker 1: This is John, This is Sam, your og Okay Storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts. So we have some spectacular stories coming up,

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Speaker 1: but real quick, we get a two minute break from

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Speaker 1: our lovely sponsors keeping this ship sailing.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law use my husband to steal from

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Speaker 2: her own husband.

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Speaker 1: It's husband on husband crime.

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Speaker 2: My mother in law has been using my husband's account

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Speaker 2: to send herself money.

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Speaker 1: Oh, fraudulent husband on husband crime.

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Speaker 3: My husband has.

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Speaker 2: Had hard times over the years with work, and during

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Speaker 2: that time his dad helped him through. You would send

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Speaker 2: him money for bills he couldn't make between checks. My

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Speaker 2: mother in law, who keeps my father in law's books balanced,

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Speaker 2: had access to my husband's account because he opened it

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Speaker 2: at sixteen.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever balanced books?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Oh well yeah on my head? Oh bye bay.

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Speaker 2: This comes from Frost and Cobbles fourteen seventy eight, And

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Speaker 2: if you want to smit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay Storytime suburn it.

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Speaker 3: I'm Sophia, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Dakota, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice goofully.

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Speaker 2: But we don't have all the answers. We only know

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Speaker 2: what we'd do, So let us know what you would

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Speaker 2: do in the comments, and OPI says, so my mother

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Speaker 2: in law was the one sending my husband his dad's

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Speaker 2: money and would take the money out of my husband's

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Speaker 2: account as repayment. Seems like a kind, thoughtful mom right

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Speaker 2: until the truth comes out. Ever since I married my husband,

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Speaker 2: she started coming up with crazy amounts of money that

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Speaker 2: my husband hasn't paid.

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Speaker 3: First, twenty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 4: Is this like one of those like you need to

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Speaker 4: repay us for your existence time scenarios?

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Speaker 2: But I'm wondering how she's even, you know, bringing that up,

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Speaker 2: because it's pretty easy to know whether or not you

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Speaker 2: owe someone twenty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like on paper like a handshake. I don't know what.

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Speaker 1: If that's legit debt then whatever. I doubt it.

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Speaker 4: But if it's not, I always love the flipping that

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Speaker 4: on its head of like, well, we raised you, you

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Speaker 4: owe us this money, We paid all.

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Speaker 1: This money for you.

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Speaker 4: I'm like, you actually owe me because of all the

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Speaker 4: traumas I've lived through. I didn't ask for that, So

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna need ten grand for that. I'm gonna need

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Speaker 4: fifteen grand for this other one.

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Speaker 3: I feel like the jokes will bounce out.

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Speaker 4: Tammy broke up with me in front of everyone in

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Speaker 4: my high school class.

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Speaker 1: I didn't ask for that.

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Speaker 3: Tammy pay me twenty thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: Then the final number she's claiming now is fifty seven

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars that my husband owes his dad. Well, I

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Speaker 2: call bs, and so did my oblivious husband. He asked

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Speaker 2: me to figure it out as I have taken over

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Speaker 2: keeping his account and kicked her off because she was

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Speaker 2: caught lying about us spending father in law's money. I

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Speaker 2: feel like the men in this story need to start

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Speaker 2: looking at their accounts.

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Speaker 1: NA do it just Japanese style?

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Speaker 3: Is that?

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Speaker 5: What does that mean?

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Speaker 1: Y'all don't know? No, in Japan, it's.

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Speaker 4: Uh, that's what we ask normal for the husband or

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Speaker 4: the man in a relationship to not really no handle

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Speaker 4: any of the finances.

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Speaker 1: That's all up to his wife, Laies, the lady of

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Speaker 1: the house.

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Speaker 3: Well, I guess we're in Japan.

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Speaker 2: She had already stolen money from me personally from my

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Speaker 2: husband's account while we were dating.

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Speaker 1: What so?

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Speaker 5: I mean?

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Speaker 1: Like, are we not?

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Speaker 3: Why are we so chill about this?

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Speaker 1: Why do they have access to our accounts?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? My money is still missing from her records and

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Speaker 2: was never paid to me or my husband. I didn't

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Speaker 2: fight it because I was in college, was engaged to

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Speaker 2: her son, and wanted to keep the peace, even though

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Speaker 2: I was pissed. I go through the numbers on the

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Speaker 2: account and compare them to what she has hand written.

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Speaker 2: She is telling father in law my husband is only

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Speaker 2: paid him thirteen thousand, when she has taken sixty seven

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Speaker 2: thousand from the account. She sends all the money to

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Speaker 2: my husband from one account father in laws, but she

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Speaker 2: puts the repayments into five different accounts that.

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Speaker 3: Aren't father in laws.

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Speaker 2: Her name is on them, so we are obviously pissed.

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Speaker 2: Then we compare the bills she has listed and we

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Speaker 2: realize we have repaid five thousand too much. Today, while

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Speaker 2: looking over everything, I find where she sent fifty two

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars to my husband from father in law. I

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Speaker 2: call my husband. He says he doesn't know. I dig

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Speaker 2: more and look up everything from that day and find

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Speaker 2: a check written for fifty five thousand dollars.

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Speaker 1: How do you not know you were sent fifty grands.

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Speaker 2: I really don't understand who is looking at your money,

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Speaker 2: or your funds or your bank account because oh, piece

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Speaker 2: said that in the beginning, she was like, well, his

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Speaker 2: mom has access to his account because he was sixteen

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Speaker 2: when it started. As if you can't get a new

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Speaker 2: account or even take someone off of the account.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know that it is. I know that it's weird.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 4: If it starts as a like a you're a minor

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Speaker 4: and you start an account with a parent, it can

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Speaker 4: be weird to get them taken off or like have

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Speaker 4: their control taken out.

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Speaker 2: You can get a new account and start putting your

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Speaker 2: money in.

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Speaker 4: That one, but I don't think you can take the

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Speaker 4: money from that account and put it into a new

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Speaker 4: one without.

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Speaker 1: Their name on it.

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Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure you can't.

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Speaker 4: No, I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure there's

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Speaker 4: restrictions when you have multiple I think when your names

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Speaker 4: on an account that one of them was in when

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Speaker 4: it was started when you were a miner, which is dumb.

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Speaker 4: But I just once you're an adult, you should be

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Speaker 4: able to be like, I'm not a miner anymore. But

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Speaker 4: it's like, I don't know, I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I could be wrong. I don't know. If somebody check me,

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Speaker 1: check me in the comments.

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Speaker 2: We look through all our checkbooks and it didn't come

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Speaker 2: from what he has, but they were all mailed to

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Speaker 2: mother in law's house, so she had them before us. Y'all,

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Speaker 2: are they're you're getting your checkbooks mailed to her house.

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Speaker 2: Go to your bank today, say hey, I want to

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Speaker 2: open up a new account. I don't know, ask them

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Speaker 2: how I get my money out from my mom's shared

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Speaker 2: account with me, and.

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Speaker 3: Then change your address. Y'all? Are what are you doing?

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Speaker 3: Fix this?

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Speaker 1: Okay? I'm wrong?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I was gonna say, because when I because

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Speaker 2: I stayed in an account and it was.

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Speaker 3: Pretty easy to transfer.

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Speaker 2: Okay, like unless unless they said maybe maybe, Like what

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Speaker 2: you're thinking is if Opie's husband said I want to

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Speaker 2: transfer this money and then the mom was like no.

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Speaker 3: But also that would be crazy if she said that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah I can I can't imagine if you haven't any

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Speaker 1: well maybe I don't know. Maybe there it's equal.

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Speaker 2: I then looked up where we were the week the

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Speaker 2: check was written, and we can prove we didn't write

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Speaker 2: a check at the time.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, all this should be very provable because

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Speaker 1: like it's it's financial records like that.

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Speaker 4: The bank would have record if these checks were cashed

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Speaker 4: or deposited.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right.

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Speaker 2: So not only can we prove she's used my husband's

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Speaker 2: account to steal money from father in law, but we

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Speaker 2: can prove she stole fifty two thousand dollars from father

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Speaker 2: in law and use my husband to do it. She

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Speaker 2: also stole three K from my husband, plus the four

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Speaker 2: K we can track that she stole over a three

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Speaker 2: year period on top of the fifty seven k. She's

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Speaker 2: trying to make my husband pay her. You guys need

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Speaker 2: like a money guy. Let's get an accountant money person

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Speaker 2: in there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, call mister money man, Please have him money your money.

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Speaker 2: My husband called his oblivious father, who said, I don't

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Speaker 2: know about her sending you fifty two K or why

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Speaker 2: she would use your checks.

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Speaker 3: You'll have to talk to her. This guy is stupid.

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Speaker 2: You just told him that she stole fifty two thousand

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Speaker 2: dollars from him, and he.

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Speaker 3: Was like, I don't know, ask her about that.

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Speaker 4: I wish I was in a place where I could

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Speaker 4: be this flip at about fifty grand.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone just seems to be like em, No, kick

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Speaker 1: it down the line, somebody else will take care. Yes.

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Speaker 2: I don't know. Which confuses me because it seems like

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Speaker 2: Op and her husband have been borrowing money, right the

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Speaker 2: parents if they're not surprised that they owe anything and

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Speaker 2: yet are so chill about giving away all this and

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Speaker 2: this money being thousands of dollars being stolen, Yeah, what's

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Speaker 2: going on? My husband is furious and said he was

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Speaker 2: done with mother in law and isn't paying her anything else.

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Speaker 2: He also told his dad that he's going to take

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Speaker 2: the missing five k as him buying the machine he's

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Speaker 2: been borrowing from his dad for work. Then my husband

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Speaker 2: called his mom to get her story. When I saw

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Speaker 2: she used his account to steal fifty two thousand dollars

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Speaker 2: from his dad, I literally threw up my father in law.

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Speaker 2: He's surprisingly nice, but his wife is a witch. Advice Please,

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Speaker 2: I gave you all of my advice, but my advice

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Speaker 2: for UOP is to immediately separate your funds from your

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Speaker 2: mother in law. Don't know why you haven't done that yet? Crazy, Well,

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Speaker 2: I'm pretty sure. Well, yeah, you can't talk about it yet,

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Speaker 2: I'll keep talking. When I turned eighteen, I don't think

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Speaker 2: my parents had access to my bank account anymore. We

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Speaker 2: separated that, and obviously my parents were supportive and helpful

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Speaker 2: in doing that because I was eighteen and didn't really

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Speaker 2: know how to do all that. So he clearly didn't

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Speaker 2: have that. But now he has you a supportive partner,

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Speaker 2: and we should get on that.

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Speaker 3: And that's my thoughts.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I think all of this is going back

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Speaker 4: to you probably really you are borrowing this money from

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Speaker 4: your father, but she's using the repayment as her own

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Speaker 4: personal funds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so he's not really getting paid maid back. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. It feels like she could just ask her

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Speaker 1: husband for money.

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Speaker 3: It feels like he doesn't care.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it feels like if she was like, can I

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Speaker 4: have eight thousand dollars, he'd be like, yeah, I mean

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Speaker 4: that's why I'm gonna have access to our bank account.

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Speaker 6: I'm kind of getting to sense they're a little like

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Speaker 6: maybe rich. Like like the fact that the money can

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Speaker 6: go like from twenty to fifty and then more and

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Speaker 6: then more. It's like, what are we doing here?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we aren't pursuing it legally. Father in law is

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Speaker 2: staying with mother in law and he firmly believes she

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Speaker 2: didn't steal money from many of us. He claims the

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Speaker 2: fifty payments we made equivalent to thirty five thousand she

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Speaker 2: doesn't account for.

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Speaker 3: Was a mistake. This guy's his brain is full of rocks.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: I mean, it's easier to be unbothered by that than

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Speaker 4: to try to like deal with it. So I can't

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Speaker 4: understand that from a certain perspective, especially if it's like

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Speaker 4: he's like, I don't know, she's just being freaking weird

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Speaker 4: and honestly, this amount of money doesn't even affect me.

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Speaker 4: If that's the case, yeah, then he's like, yeah, I

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Speaker 4: don't know, she probably just made a miss.

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Speaker 1: I don't care, but I can't take all my money.

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Speaker 2: I agree with that point, but it seems like he's

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Speaker 2: also saying that she didn't even steal their money.

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Speaker 3: I don't know she didn't do that because.

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Speaker 2: He said he said, he claims the fifty payments we made.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think he I think he's still accepting

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Speaker 4: because it's like whit He said that they were buying

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Speaker 4: the machine from him that he had been using too.

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Speaker 1: He's like, all right, yeah, whatever.

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Speaker 3: Man just doesn't care about anything.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, my husband is tired of arguing. After a week

246
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Speaker 2: straight of her saying or of the seven accounts aren't hers,

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Speaker 2: she sent us pictures of her account numbers, and literally

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Speaker 2: all seven of the accounts have her name on them.

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Speaker 1: What a dumb lie to try to pull off.

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Speaker 2: My husband said he's done and just isn't going to

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Speaker 2: pay anything else. We'll drop it until it's an issue again.

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Speaker 1: Okay, separate your accounts.

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Speaker 2: I have another post about my mother in law asking

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Speaker 2: my husband what she did to make me so mad.

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Speaker 2: She never reached out to me before or after their conversation,

256
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Speaker 2: and I've never received an apology or any attempt at reconciley.

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Speaker 2: The argument I'll talk about is the day of our

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Speaker 2: gender reveal, where father in law and mother in law

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Speaker 2: cornered us after my family left and demanded I sell

260
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Speaker 2: my horses. This is why you guys.

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Speaker 3: Don't care about money.

262
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Speaker 4: Your horse rich, your horse people, your horse people rich people.

263
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Speaker 4: You're so rich, why would they be like you get

264
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Speaker 4: either the horses or the baby.

265
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Speaker 1: Cannot have both horses and the baby.

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Speaker 2: Now that we found out the gender of your baby,

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Speaker 2: you simply must sell those courses.

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Speaker 4: Now that we found out that your baby was not

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Speaker 4: a horse, it cannot hang out with the horses. We

270
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Speaker 4: were fingers crossed that you were gonna give birth to

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Speaker 4: a little horse baby, but it.

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Speaker 2: Kind of just the new drama involves the entire family.

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Speaker 2: Aunt one is the wife of father in law's brother.

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Speaker 1: God, there's a new drama, aren't one.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna call Peggy. Aunt two is the wife of

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Speaker 2: mother in law's brother.

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Speaker 1: Okay, so they're in Sue. We'll call her Sue, Peggy, Peggy,

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Speaker 1: and Sue.

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Speaker 2: This all starts before I dug into our finances. Peggy

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Speaker 2: made a very ugly comment on my business Facebook under

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Speaker 2: one of my product posts. What she said was referring

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Speaker 2: to the only argument my husband mentioned to mother in

283
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Speaker 2: law as the main thing she did to piss me off,

284
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Speaker 2: So it was obvious that this was Peggy's way of

285
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Speaker 2: retaliation on mother in law's behalf. After she was told

286
00:12:25,679 --> 00:12:27,960
Speaker 2: I was still pissed and proved mother in law was

287
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:31,240
Speaker 2: running her mouth. At that point, Peggy gets blocked on

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Speaker 2: Facebook as well as her husband, all her sons and

289
00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:36,720
Speaker 2: their kids. I've never met these people in the four

290
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:38,920
Speaker 2: years I've been the family, so no lass to me.

291
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:42,080
Speaker 2: After Peggy is blocked, she reached out to my husband

292
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Speaker 2: wanting pictures of our son because she couldn't find my

293
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Speaker 2: Facebook anymore.

294
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Speaker 3: He told her no and muted her.

295
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Speaker 2: So Peggy goes to mother in law asking her for

296
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Speaker 2: pictures because my husband said no, and I blocked her.

297
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:56,240
Speaker 2: My husband told his mother she couldn't have pictures to

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Speaker 2: send to Peggy, but we were later told by sister

299
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:02,200
Speaker 2: in law and brother in law that it happened anyway.

300
00:13:02,679 --> 00:13:05,199
Speaker 2: I talked to my husband and decided not to block

301
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:08,320
Speaker 2: her completely to avoid an argument, but she'd be blocked

302
00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:12,080
Speaker 2: from baby pictures and posts and would be finally cut

303
00:13:12,120 --> 00:13:14,640
Speaker 2: off from him. So six months rolled around and I

304
00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 2: made a post with family pictures and pool pictures because

305
00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,200
Speaker 2: I was scared to post at all for over a

306
00:13:20,280 --> 00:13:23,520
Speaker 2: month after the drama. Then my husband gets a message

307
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Speaker 2: from mother in law that Sue said something about little

308
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,040
Speaker 2: one's six month pictures, but I can't find them. Do

309
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,480
Speaker 2: you know why. My husband tells her that she's on

310
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Speaker 2: an information and picture diet until she can respect boundaries.

311
00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:39,640
Speaker 2: Then Sue sends mother in law the pictures, and mother

312
00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:43,000
Speaker 2: in law sends them to Peggy and accidentally sends one

313
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Speaker 2: to my husband trying to send.

314
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Speaker 3: To father in law. Nice, good job, great.

315
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Speaker 4: Job, because she has them both saved in her phone

316
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:54,160
Speaker 4: at yeah, person, i'm scamming one in person, I'm scaming two.

317
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Speaker 3: So Sue gets blocked.

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Speaker 2: After this mother in law tries to get my husband

319
00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:01,960
Speaker 2: to give her the address of our RV park so

320
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Speaker 2: she can visit in three days despite our seven days

321
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:07,960
Speaker 2: or more rule. My husband tells her I'm not home

322
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,200
Speaker 2: and that I'm house sitting for my mom for two weeks.

323
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,680
Speaker 2: Mother in law then start saying how that has to

324
00:14:12,800 --> 00:14:15,480
Speaker 2: upset him, that I'm always taking little one away from

325
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,800
Speaker 2: him and that he must miss little one. She was

326
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,760
Speaker 2: trying to start a fight between us and insinuating that

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00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,400
Speaker 2: I do things without talking to my husband. First, your

328
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:25,360
Speaker 2: mother in law said that.

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Speaker 4: She was like, yes, don't you want to fight your

330
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Speaker 4: husband because he does things without asking you?

331
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 2: Well, now she's saying that OP does things without asking her, usb.

332
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Speaker 4: Don't you want to fight with your wife son because

333
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,080
Speaker 4: she does things as a woman, which is.

334
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Speaker 2: Pretty hypocritical, seeing as she's been sending all that money

335
00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:50,440
Speaker 2: without asking your husband. She has accused me of spending

336
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,840
Speaker 2: his money without permission, pretty ironic and laughed in my

337
00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:57,080
Speaker 2: face when I said I never spend anything without asking. First,

338
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:59,360
Speaker 2: my husband shut her down and said he was glad

339
00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:01,440
Speaker 2: I was in a real house with good ac we're

340
00:15:01,520 --> 00:15:03,920
Speaker 2: full time, our veers on the road for work. This

341
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,520
Speaker 2: is about the time I started digging into the money issue.

342
00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:09,520
Speaker 2: After hearing what she tried to do, we talked again

343
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:10,880
Speaker 2: and I blocked her completely.

344
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,040
Speaker 3: Wait, if you're full time.

345
00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:16,480
Speaker 2: Our veers, do you are you like transporting horses? What

346
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:17,200
Speaker 2: is your job?

347
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,200
Speaker 3: How do you have horses?

348
00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:22,560
Speaker 2: If you're like moving constantly, I'm going to horses. Yeah,

349
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,520
Speaker 2: I'm going to assume that you're transporting horses and.

350
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Speaker 1: That's your job, Dwayne.

351
00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:28,760
Speaker 2: So this week, father in law tells my husband that

352
00:15:28,840 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 2: my mother in law said she can't see my stuff

353
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:34,440
Speaker 2: on Facebook. She must have blocked mother in law When

354
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,200
Speaker 2: my husband said okay, father in law asked, do you

355
00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,920
Speaker 2: know anything about that? So here we go again with

356
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:43,200
Speaker 2: them saying I do stuff without consulting my husband the

357
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:46,320
Speaker 2: fourth time in the issues mentioned in this post. But

358
00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:49,160
Speaker 2: this time mother in law couldn't even do it herself.

359
00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,280
Speaker 2: She sent father in law to get us, which is

360
00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:55,160
Speaker 2: what happened with the gender reveal argument. When she doesn't

361
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,880
Speaker 2: get her way on her own with us, she tries

362
00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,680
Speaker 2: to use father in law to muscle us. When my

363
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,080
Speaker 2: husband won't muscle me, she tries to get father in

364
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:06,040
Speaker 2: law to muscle me. She's an arc control freak and

365
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 2: father in law is her minion lapdog. We little one

366
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:12,520
Speaker 2: and I are completely no contact with mother in law.

367
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,360
Speaker 2: Why is there so much contact happening? Then, I guess

368
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,360
Speaker 2: it's just with the father in law who keeps messaging you.

369
00:16:18,840 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know.

370
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:20,480
Speaker 4: Sometimes it's hard.

371
00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's hard. I don't know.

372
00:16:23,280 --> 00:16:24,440
Speaker 3: Man, he just doesn't know.

373
00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:27,920
Speaker 2: My husband only has contact, do have access to father

374
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:30,160
Speaker 2: in law. My husband is ready to drop mother in

375
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:33,440
Speaker 2: law completely over what she's been saying about me. There's

376
00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 2: a lot she's said to him and been saying to

377
00:16:35,480 --> 00:16:37,960
Speaker 2: family that no one will tell me personally because they

378
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: don't want me to get pissed again. I'm still furious

379
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,640
Speaker 2: that through all this BS, she is standing firm on

380
00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:48,400
Speaker 2: her I never have to apologize Mountain, even at the

381
00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:52,640
Speaker 2: expense of never being able to see her only blood grandchild.

382
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:56,480
Speaker 2: She's literally sixty six to sixty seven and only seeing

383
00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,640
Speaker 2: her coming one year old grandchild four times because she

384
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,240
Speaker 2: couldn't respect boundaries. I don't want her in her lives

385
00:17:02,280 --> 00:17:04,960
Speaker 2: at all, but the fact she is stubborn enough to

386
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:08,760
Speaker 2: give up a relationship with my adorable baby boy is unbelievable,

387
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,600
Speaker 2: all because it was beneath her to simply reach out

388
00:17:11,600 --> 00:17:13,520
Speaker 2: to me about what was wrong or how to mend

389
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,560
Speaker 2: the fence. But there is a little bit left to

390
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:19,600
Speaker 2: this story. Any final thoughts, No, he ain't got no

391
00:17:19,720 --> 00:17:24,280
Speaker 2: final thoughts. My final thoughts are that you gotta get

392
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,960
Speaker 2: rid of her on your bank account.

393
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,040
Speaker 3: That's number one.

394
00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:30,520
Speaker 2: Yes, it's just been an ongoing, ongoing thought.

395
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,440
Speaker 1: Manage your own account and.

396
00:17:34,359 --> 00:17:36,640
Speaker 2: Then really cut them off because it seems like we're

397
00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:40,320
Speaker 2: going havesies and we can't. These aren't the type of

398
00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,720
Speaker 2: people to go havesies on because they're just gonna work.

399
00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,199
Speaker 2: If you're still in contact with the von La.

400
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,879
Speaker 3: I mean, like, I know that you're I get. I

401
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,000
Speaker 3: mean you said that you like.

402
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,480
Speaker 2: Him and your husband likes him, so I guess that's

403
00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 2: just really difficult when you want contact with one parent

404
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:52,760
Speaker 2: and then you have.

405
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,840
Speaker 3: Another parent who just sucks good luck. That's my final thought.

406
00:17:56,840 --> 00:18:01,480
Speaker 1: I think I'm gonna have to read like this. It's fine, we.

407
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,240
Speaker 3: Have a little bit left.

408
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,640
Speaker 2: We literally went from close i'd even say close friends

409
00:18:06,080 --> 00:18:09,800
Speaker 2: to her calling me a gold digger lazy, which baby

410
00:18:09,840 --> 00:18:12,720
Speaker 2: trapped him after being together three months, living together nine

411
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,440
Speaker 2: and telling her son that him marrying me put him

412
00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:18,439
Speaker 2: in debt. I consider her reaction a win for me,

413
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:21,320
Speaker 2: and I'm glad, but I also am sad for my

414
00:18:21,480 --> 00:18:25,760
Speaker 2: husband because he sees my mom, dad, granddad, stepmom, stepdad,

415
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:28,879
Speaker 2: and both sets of step grands, four sets of step

416
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:32,680
Speaker 2: aunts and step siblings and cousins step and blood who

417
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:34,840
Speaker 2: love our son like he's their blood family.

418
00:18:34,880 --> 00:18:38,560
Speaker 4: Why did you feel bad about that? Yeah, shouldn't that

419
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,879
Speaker 4: be like a well, thank goodness. Yeah, you even know

420
00:18:41,119 --> 00:18:46,320
Speaker 4: his own parents kinda don't show up. You have an

421
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:51,520
Speaker 4: entire extended family people to make up for it.

422
00:18:51,680 --> 00:18:52,200
Speaker 5: I like how.

423
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:56,240
Speaker 6: Also it was like specific of the numbers, which is

424
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,879
Speaker 6: really funny, like, yeah, all these people love you.

425
00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 2: He's perfect, while his own mother can't even respect his

426
00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:04,639
Speaker 2: mother for an opportunity to know him. It's really just

427
00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:07,280
Speaker 2: sad that she allowed her need to control my husband's

428
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:11,280
Speaker 2: life ruin our relationship, and she let our ruined relationship

429
00:19:11,480 --> 00:19:14,439
Speaker 2: ruin her chance out a relationship with our son and

430
00:19:14,560 --> 00:19:17,280
Speaker 2: future kids. And that is the end of that story.

431
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 2: Good luck with your mother in law, good luck with

432
00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:21,080
Speaker 2: your bank account.

433
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 1: And goodbye that story.

434
00:19:23,119 --> 00:19:25,359
Speaker 3: Yep, and we're going to get into another story.

435
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:28,080
Speaker 2: In a moment, my mother in law discovered that I

436
00:19:28,119 --> 00:19:30,120
Speaker 2: have a friends with benefits.

437
00:19:30,119 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 4: Oh ah, new life, moved to new country.

438
00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:38,600
Speaker 2: Now, before you assume I twenty eight female am cheating,

439
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:42,359
Speaker 2: I'm not. My husband thirty male was the type that

440
00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,160
Speaker 2: believed in no spicy time.

441
00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:45,000
Speaker 3: Before marriage.

442
00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:49,439
Speaker 2: When we started dating, everything was perfect except this, and

443
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:52,240
Speaker 2: I accepted it since I really liked him, and soon we.

444
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:52,800
Speaker 3: Fell in love.

445
00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:56,399
Speaker 2: After marriage, she slowly realized that he's really not that

446
00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:00,439
Speaker 2: interested in spicy sleep whatsoever, and some therapy he helped

447
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,359
Speaker 2: us realize that he's on the A spectrum or ACE spectrum.

448
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 2: This was a major disappointment for me since I was

449
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,639
Speaker 2: looking forward to having spicy sleep with him for a

450
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:10,679
Speaker 2: very long time.

451
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:14,439
Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Matta s w And

452
00:20:14,560 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 3: if you.

453
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 2: Want to submit your own stories, could be the r

454
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,879
Speaker 2: slash Okay Storytime Separate.

455
00:20:18,160 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 1: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota, I'm key On, and we're.

456
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,600
Speaker 2: Here to give good advice goofy, but we don't have

457
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,400
Speaker 2: all the answers. We only know what we'd do. Let

458
00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,359
Speaker 2: us know what you would do in the comments and

459
00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:31,280
Speaker 2: opisas I couldn't leave him for this since I was

460
00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,960
Speaker 2: and still am in love with him. So we worked

461
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 2: out a solution that all have a friends with benefits

462
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 2: twenty five mail for my spicy related needs, and we

463
00:20:39,359 --> 00:20:42,479
Speaker 2: set proper boundaries. We did this two years ago, and

464
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,439
Speaker 2: so far our life together has been very good. This

465
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:48,520
Speaker 2: has always been something between us, so nobody else knew.

466
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 3: Well.

467
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 2: Out of some freak accident and me not being as

468
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:56,040
Speaker 2: careful as I should have been, mother in law figured

469
00:20:56,040 --> 00:21:00,000
Speaker 2: out what's going on. I said something that's raised suspicion,

470
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:03,960
Speaker 2: and she dug deep for weeks until she found out.

471
00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:06,800
Speaker 2: Now she's threatening me to tell everyone what's going on.

472
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,760
Speaker 2: My husband has talked to her, telling her that it's

473
00:21:09,800 --> 00:21:13,920
Speaker 2: a mutual decision and none of her business, but she's

474
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 2: not having it. She's demanding that one I confess my

475
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:20,399
Speaker 2: sins to the church, and two stop doing it, and

476
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,119
Speaker 2: three future kids will only be accepted in the family

477
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 2: if we provide paternity tests. Wait, what, dude, folks, did

478
00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 2: they even want to have kids?

479
00:21:30,840 --> 00:21:32,280
Speaker 3: We don't like she's just assuming so.

480
00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: Much like you can adopt what's going on here? Yikes?

481
00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 1: I don't like any of this.

482
00:21:37,560 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, I like opian Opie's partner's relationship seems like

483
00:21:41,880 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: they've got it all sorted out. I don't like the

484
00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 2: mother in law getting involved. I said what I said,

485
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:50,240
Speaker 2: Otherwise she will tell everyone. That will be a disaster.

486
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: Since we live in a very religious and conservative community.

487
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,720
Speaker 2: I work for a church, and it almost certainly means

488
00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,920
Speaker 2: I'll lose my job and we will lose most of

489
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,440
Speaker 2: our friends as well. I don't want it to happen.

490
00:22:01,800 --> 00:22:04,600
Speaker 2: We really have no idea how to avoid the situation.

491
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 2: We have some relevant comments, but I mean, if your

492
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 2: mother in law is super religious, I don't know how

493
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:15,359
Speaker 2: you could lie to her, but she might if if

494
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:17,760
Speaker 2: she found out once, feel like she might find out again.

495
00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 4: I feel like you should just bother. You should be like, ah,

496
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:23,920
Speaker 4: now I have three friends with benefits. Yeah, I have

497
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,280
Speaker 4: seven friends with benefits. I don't know, And they have

498
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,360
Speaker 4: seven friends with benefits, and we're gonna have a million

499
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:34,160
Speaker 4: babies together, and we've all got gonna be here on things.

500
00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,400
Speaker 5: They're all million babies with benefits.

501
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, they've all got dental and healthcare, so many benefits.

502
00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 2: I think that you should consider moving if it does

503
00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:47,480
Speaker 2: kind of blow up in that way, because it seems

504
00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:52,159
Speaker 2: like it's just not the most welcoming or I don't know,

505
00:22:52,320 --> 00:22:53,640
Speaker 2: accepting place.

506
00:22:53,480 --> 00:22:55,680
Speaker 5: That you're living in very hostile.

507
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like if something about your relationship that's you know,

508
00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:03,159
Speaker 2: they're a private would make people stop being friends with

509
00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:07,720
Speaker 2: you and people fired you from a job, maybe, I

510
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:10,119
Speaker 2: don't know, it would suck obviously, like your mother in

511
00:23:10,200 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 2: law has no right to say any of that, but

512
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,720
Speaker 2: I think, like, maybe prepare for the worst case scenario.

513
00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:18,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, I can see her try and talk her down

514
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,560
Speaker 6: like her, Ohpie's mom just spreading it, spreading around.

515
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, Oh have you heard?

516
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:25,000
Speaker 1: Yeah?

517
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 6: Oh you see her with any any other male? Yeah,

518
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,040
Speaker 6: even though female, just anyone out there. She's just probably

519
00:23:31,080 --> 00:23:32,600
Speaker 6: thinking that could be a friend with benefit.

520
00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 2: Timit says not to bunch you when you're down, But

521
00:23:35,840 --> 00:23:38,560
Speaker 2: how would she able to dig deep everything short of

522
00:23:38,640 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 2: a private detective?

523
00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 3: And you were being way way bad at hiding this.

524
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 2: For God's sakes, people managed to hide these things from

525
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 2: their own partners. The only reason I'm saying this is,

526
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,880
Speaker 2: of course you don't stop, you just cover your tracks better.

527
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:52,719
Speaker 2: I'm assuming you don't have to confess in public. Then

528
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,200
Speaker 2: the only thing that matters is just hiding it better.

529
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,600
Speaker 2: And could you for your own sanity, then maybe work

530
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:02,520
Speaker 2: on getting less conservative of friends and maybe finding another job.

531
00:24:02,880 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 2: That's kind of my thought process. It's like, why do

532
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:06,480
Speaker 2: we want to be friends with people that we have

533
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,359
Speaker 2: to hide. I mean, again, these aren't details that your

534
00:24:09,400 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 2: friends need to know because it is quite personal. But

535
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,440
Speaker 2: also I wouldn't want to be with friends with people

536
00:24:14,560 --> 00:24:19,400
Speaker 2: that were that judgmental and never see your husband's family again.

537
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 2: How is he taking the fact that your mother is

538
00:24:21,480 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 2: threatening to sabotage your entire life? By the way, he

539
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: should be furious because after this, you're never gonna be accepted.

540
00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 2: Even if she doesn't out you in public, she'll know,

541
00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 2: she'll gossip, she'll dig yep. So either you get your

542
00:24:34,080 --> 00:24:36,080
Speaker 2: husband to keep his side of the family in line

543
00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 2: or make sure you don't need that side of the family.

544
00:24:39,119 --> 00:24:43,080
Speaker 2: And Ope responds, she followed me after work for days.

545
00:24:43,680 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 5: Like I said, I called, it's your mother in law

546
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:46,760
Speaker 5: is crazy.

547
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 6: Yeah, her mother in law, Opie's mother in law is

548
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,840
Speaker 6: gonna just anytime she sees Opie with anybody, she's just

549
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 6: gonna follow you. Take a take a picture, write it down,

550
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 6: description everything, and be like oh that's them, or like

551
00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,320
Speaker 6: this is that's personalnumber one.

552
00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 5: That's person number two.

553
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,959
Speaker 2: That's crazy what she followed me after work for days,

554
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: basically played private detective herself because she suspected that I

555
00:25:09,119 --> 00:25:11,720
Speaker 2: was cheating. I wasn't very careful at hiding it since

556
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:14,480
Speaker 2: I never thought anyone would care to even look into me.

557
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:15,480
Speaker 3: I was wrong.

558
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:18,840
Speaker 2: He is furious at his mother, but we both understand

559
00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 2: that anger will not solve anything, so we're trying to

560
00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,640
Speaker 2: be pragmatic. We want to avoid as much harm as possible,

561
00:25:26,040 --> 00:25:28,200
Speaker 2: and in the long term, I should find a new job,

562
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 2: and maybe we should expand our social circles to include

563
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:32,760
Speaker 2: more open minded people.

564
00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:35,720
Speaker 3: I think so well. We got some more comments La

565
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 3: Mama Loka.

566
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:39,440
Speaker 2: Is she going to expose the identity of your friends

567
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,160
Speaker 2: with benefits too? How might this affect him? Oh, he says.

568
00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 2: We talked to him as well. This won't affect him much.

569
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:47,400
Speaker 2: He's not in our normal social circle and his place

570
00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:50,040
Speaker 2: of work will not care at all. Shadow ban Hand says,

571
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 2: what a vile woman. If your husband can't convince his

572
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 2: own mother to not blow up your life, I don't

573
00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:57,280
Speaker 2: think there's anything you can do. Your mother in law

574
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: will never let this go and use this information to

575
00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 2: blackmail you for decades. Do not think for a second

576
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,440
Speaker 2: that if you comply with her demands that there won't

577
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,359
Speaker 2: be more demands after that, over and over again, This

578
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:13,600
Speaker 2: information will get out eventually, and OP says, Yeah, that's

579
00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 2: why we can't just give into her demands. There will

580
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 2: be more, especially when we have kids. We're trying to

581
00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,240
Speaker 2: find a solution that doesn't mean total disaster, and.

582
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:23,520
Speaker 3: We can't seem to find it.

583
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:26,399
Speaker 2: Mantra one eighty seven says, could your husband threaten her

584
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,240
Speaker 2: right back by withholding all future access to her grandkids

585
00:26:29,240 --> 00:26:31,520
Speaker 2: if she doesn't keep this secret? But honestly, I fear

586
00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 2: you're ft either way. Your husband needs to deal with this,

587
00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 2: but you've been playing with fire doing what you're doing.

588
00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:41,040
Speaker 2: In this kind of community, secrets like these always come out,

589
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:45,240
Speaker 2: and with judgmental people that surround you, it won't end well. Unfortunately.

590
00:26:45,359 --> 00:26:48,040
Speaker 2: I suggest you prepare for the worst. Oh Pi says

591
00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,160
Speaker 2: we threatened her back with that. She isn't afraid because

592
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,760
Speaker 2: in her mind they won't even be her grandkids. Even

593
00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 2: if we give her a paternity test, she won't believe

594
00:26:57,359 --> 00:27:01,280
Speaker 2: the test given her paranoia. Pseudonymous, My husband was the

595
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,040
Speaker 2: type that believed and knows spicy before marriage. When we

596
00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,159
Speaker 2: started dating, everything was perfect except this. No, he was

597
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:10,479
Speaker 2: in his late twenties when this friends with benefits arrangement started.

598
00:27:10,680 --> 00:27:13,359
Speaker 2: He didn't slowly realize he was not interested in spicy

599
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 2: sleep after you married him. This is not a revelation

600
00:27:15,960 --> 00:27:18,120
Speaker 2: that first occurs to you in your mid twenties.

601
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,399
Speaker 1: Well, as he already said, he waited until marriage. I

602
00:27:22,920 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 1: sy that. Yeah, I hate.

603
00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: One of the commentary is, yeah, no, he can't know

604
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 2: about his ace identity.

605
00:27:28,359 --> 00:27:29,480
Speaker 3: I know better than him.

606
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,399
Speaker 2: He slowly revealed to you that he wasn't interested in

607
00:27:32,520 --> 00:27:34,840
Speaker 2: spicy sleep after he had gotten you to marry him.

608
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: I hate that comment.

609
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 5: And it comes Opie's counter argument, which I'm so ready for.

610
00:27:39,400 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 2: Oh Pi says, he always believed that things will change

611
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 2: after marriage, as he was led to believe that. After marriage,

612
00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:49,560
Speaker 2: he realized that things weren't going to change. He didn't

613
00:27:49,600 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 2: deceive me in any way. I don't doubt sincerity for

614
00:27:52,280 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 2: one second. I was right there with him with his

615
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,000
Speaker 2: struggles to deal with this. And there is an update.

616
00:27:57,520 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 3: I did not like that comment. It's stupid.

617
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,080
Speaker 5: I love when the commentars are like, I know better

618
00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 5: than you. Because I'm in his shoes. That's me.

619
00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: I literally grew up in the Catholic Church, and I

620
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:12,159
Speaker 2: will say it can go either way. I grew up

621
00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:15,119
Speaker 2: thinking that I was ACE or on that spectrum. And

622
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:21,800
Speaker 2: then you know, you like start having experiences, but like you,

623
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,600
Speaker 2: you find yourself and you realize, oh, I'm no longer

624
00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:29,959
Speaker 2: in this incredibly religious you know, grasp community and just space,

625
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,720
Speaker 2: and you realize certain things about yourself. But I've also

626
00:28:32,840 --> 00:28:35,520
Speaker 2: had the total opposite end of that for friends who

627
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 2: have you know, been either had experiences or had not

628
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,480
Speaker 2: had experiences and thought that they would eventually like it

629
00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,440
Speaker 2: and then realize, oh, that's not for me at all.

630
00:28:45,400 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 2: There is no time limit. You can realize that much later,

631
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:50,960
Speaker 2: you can realize it much earlier. You can change your

632
00:28:51,040 --> 00:28:54,800
Speaker 2: mind about it. It is not a rigid thing. And

633
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 2: I hate the idea that this commenture thinks that they

634
00:28:57,440 --> 00:29:00,000
Speaker 2: know better than your first.

635
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 1: Point that you just made is exactly what I'm trying

636
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:02,960
Speaker 1: to say.

637
00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 4: No, and I agree, it's like as soon as he

638
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,040
Speaker 4: gets at because he's never been he's never been out

639
00:29:08,040 --> 00:29:10,600
Speaker 4: of this environment, he's never been away from these people,

640
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,240
Speaker 4: he's never been away from these ideas.

641
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:15,360
Speaker 1: And it feels like inevitably they will move.

642
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,840
Speaker 4: Away from this place and these people because it's antithetical

643
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 4: to the way they're living life right now. Yeah, and

644
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,560
Speaker 4: then I feel like once he gets that distance, there

645
00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:27,040
Speaker 4: might be a high probability that he's like, wait, wait

646
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 4: a minute, I don't know if anything in my life

647
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 4: makes sense anymore.

648
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:31,240
Speaker 1: I's all I'm saying.

649
00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 2: No. And I agree that when you are in a

650
00:29:34,040 --> 00:29:37,040
Speaker 2: very religious, you know, place that you and then get

651
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 2: out of it, that your you know, your identity can

652
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,000
Speaker 2: completely change. I guess my point is just that we

653
00:29:42,120 --> 00:29:43,760
Speaker 2: haven't seen any evidence that he's not.

654
00:29:43,840 --> 00:29:44,360
Speaker 3: Happy with that.

655
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 2: And also I think it's pretty like I think that

656
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,640
Speaker 2: the idea that I think that there are people who

657
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,080
Speaker 2: are ACE because that's just kind of how it played

658
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:56,080
Speaker 2: out and that's just who they are and there was

659
00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: no negative impact that made them that way, and that

660
00:29:58,480 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: would you know. But I also think I think that

661
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: it's a really real thing to have a kind of

662
00:30:04,680 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 2: trauma from growing up in a hot like a purity

663
00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:10,680
Speaker 2: culture that tells you that this is terrible and if

664
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:12,640
Speaker 2: you do this, you're going to hell. And I think

665
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:14,520
Speaker 2: a lot of people have come out who are ACE.

666
00:30:14,920 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 2: Because they've had that experience. So yeah, like, I'm not

667
00:30:18,080 --> 00:30:20,600
Speaker 2: knocking your point. I'm just saying like, here it does

668
00:30:20,680 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 2: seem like I'm happy with this identity.

669
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 1: More referencing to the people, to the beautiful people.

670
00:30:26,400 --> 00:30:29,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, Kim Robert says, I need more info. If you're ACE,

671
00:30:29,280 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 2: does that mean you don't like spicy sleep? Or can

672
00:30:31,240 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: you be attracted romantically and just not physically? So ACE

673
00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:34,600
Speaker 2: is a spectrum, so.

674
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:39,200
Speaker 1: Is your place with the just don't It means that

675
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 1: you usually.

676
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: You would say a romantic if you weren't into you know,

677
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 2: people are like if you weren't into like romantic extraction,

678
00:30:47,600 --> 00:30:51,720
Speaker 2: but a sexuality, it means usually that there's some kind

679
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:55,640
Speaker 2: of aversion to spicy sleep. So for example, there are

680
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,480
Speaker 2: some people that if you're demi sexual to some people

681
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 2: that are only interested in spicy sleep if they have

682
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:03,160
Speaker 2: a romantic attraction. There are some people that are only

683
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:07,040
Speaker 2: into it sometimes but they would prefer not like they

684
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:10,400
Speaker 2: don't need it. There's some people that are completely spicy

685
00:31:10,440 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 2: sleep averse and don't.

686
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,560
Speaker 3: Ever want to do it. So it really ranges.

687
00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:16,840
Speaker 4: And then there's the spade and the club and the

688
00:31:16,960 --> 00:31:19,000
Speaker 4: heart and the diamond, and there you go, and you've

689
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:20,360
Speaker 4: got two jokers as well.

690
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,680
Speaker 2: But yeah, can like everything else. Is it a spectrum,

691
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: Yes exactly, and it's very different for everyone. Everyone experiences

692
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,920
Speaker 2: a sexuality differently, Yes they do.

693
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 3: But we've got an update.

694
00:31:32,720 --> 00:31:36,040
Speaker 1: Oh John, Oh Sam, I love you so much. I

695
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 1: love you almost as much as the great stories that

696
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 1: are about to come up.

697
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:41,520
Speaker 2: And you know what I love equally as much is

698
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,320
Speaker 2: the two minutes of sponsors coming up, because they support

699
00:31:44,360 --> 00:31:46,440
Speaker 2: the show and make sure that we will have our

700
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:52,040
Speaker 2: happily ever after. Sixteen days later, so she told everyone unsurprising,

701
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: but that sucks. That made us explain to people what's

702
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 2: going on, and surprisingly people weren't all that bad.

703
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 3: Okay jokes on her.

704
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:03,920
Speaker 2: We lost about half of our friends, but others basically

705
00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,400
Speaker 2: said none of their business and they don't care. We

706
00:32:06,600 --> 00:32:09,520
Speaker 2: underestimated some of our friends. We decided to cut off

707
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,479
Speaker 2: mother in law and everyone who sided with her.

708
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: But there is a little bit left to the story.

709
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:16,400
Speaker 3: Any final thoughts.

710
00:32:16,680 --> 00:32:18,520
Speaker 1: I hope it all turns out well.

711
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 2: I feel like now that she can't hold anything over

712
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 2: you and you know who your true friends are, I

713
00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 2: think your life is just going.

714
00:32:25,320 --> 00:32:25,720
Speaker 3: To be better.

715
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 6: I feel like that yes, it's the cats out of

716
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 6: the bag, and everyone's like, especially your friends, are like, yeah,

717
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,640
Speaker 6: we don't care, You're happy, you guys seem good cool,

718
00:32:32,880 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 6: keep doing your thing. Yeah, and that you can be

719
00:32:35,160 --> 00:32:37,760
Speaker 6: like more comfortable with those people, which is great.

720
00:32:38,040 --> 00:32:40,120
Speaker 2: My sister in law was the last person who I

721
00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:42,440
Speaker 2: thought would come on our side, but she did. She

722
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:44,880
Speaker 2: called and defended us and told us that she'll join

723
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:47,400
Speaker 2: us in cutting off her mother since this could have

724
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 2: easily been her instead of her brother. But I lost

725
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,760
Speaker 2: my job. Church basically had to let me go since

726
00:32:52,800 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 2: people wanted me gone, So that also happened. I'm now

727
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: looking for a new job. Mother in law also went

728
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: to my friends with benefits to confront him. He shut

729
00:33:01,680 --> 00:33:03,720
Speaker 2: the door on her face and told her to f off.

730
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 5: Actually pretty funny.

731
00:33:06,080 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, just just someone who really thinks they have like

732
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,080
Speaker 4: a thirty on everything.

733
00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,560
Speaker 5: Do you think the mom the mother in law, was like,

734
00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 5: do you want to be friends with benefits?

735
00:33:16,040 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 3: Yeah?

736
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 1: No, she was probably there with like one of those

737
00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:19,960
Speaker 1: like holy water scepters.

738
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, she just goes repent. She demon God spitting on me.

739
00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: He should just gone.

740
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:32,280
Speaker 2: Oh deleted says she actually went to your friends with

741
00:33:32,360 --> 00:33:35,960
Speaker 2: benefits house. Wow, I actually think this went sort of well.

742
00:33:36,200 --> 00:33:38,800
Speaker 2: Losing your job sucks, but the fact that you did

743
00:33:38,880 --> 00:33:41,800
Speaker 2: lose your job because of your private personal life means

744
00:33:41,920 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 2: this wasn't the job for you. Now you know who

745
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: your friends are and that you still have friends, You

746
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 2: have a better relationship with sister in law, and you

747
00:33:49,440 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 2: can cut mother in law out of your life with

748
00:33:51,600 --> 00:33:55,200
Speaker 2: no more debate or guilt. So congrats, oh Pisa. She

749
00:33:55,320 --> 00:33:58,080
Speaker 2: blames him for seducing me. She thinks I met a

750
00:33:58,120 --> 00:34:01,000
Speaker 2: hot guy, lost my mind over, and then gilted my

751
00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:04,280
Speaker 2: husband into accepting this arrangement. So she thinks your friends

752
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 2: with benefit is the serpent from the Bible. Balila Lina says,

753
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 2: out of curiosity, care to explain how you found your

754
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:12,120
Speaker 2: friends with benefits?

755
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 3: Oh p says online dating. I made a profile and

756
00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 3: wrote what I'm after.

757
00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:18,719
Speaker 2: Out of hundreds of people who contacted me, I went

758
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:21,560
Speaker 2: on dates with about fifteen people until I found someone

759
00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,799
Speaker 2: I liked and could connect with. It was a great

760
00:34:23,920 --> 00:34:26,040
Speaker 2: arrangement for both of us, since he wanted a lover

761
00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:29,719
Speaker 2: for spicy sleep and physical intimacy, but not a relationship.

762
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:32,120
Speaker 2: I then invited him to meet my husband and after

763
00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:33,960
Speaker 2: He told me that he likes him and gave me

764
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,359
Speaker 2: the go ahead. I went on further dates with friends

765
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:39,719
Speaker 2: with benefits, and we eventually started having spicy sleep. Once

766
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 2: we both realized this could work long term, we sat down,

767
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:46,440
Speaker 2: worked out boundaries, and it's working very well for us.

768
00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:50,279
Speaker 2: Philide It says, Ope, I remember your original post. May

769
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 2: I ask what you said that tipped her off in

770
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 2: the first place. I was really curious about that.

771
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:55,239
Speaker 3: Oh, p says.

772
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 2: It was about polygamy. She was saying how wrong it is,

773
00:34:58,440 --> 00:35:00,719
Speaker 2: and I just added a comment that is, as it's

774
00:35:00,800 --> 00:35:03,719
Speaker 2: consenting adults, it shouldn't matter. We had a few back

775
00:35:03,800 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 2: and forth and I dropped it, but my answers made

776
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:10,239
Speaker 2: her suspicious. Make me a star says, are you still

777
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,120
Speaker 2: going to attend the church? I mean, a church is

778
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 2: a community which is hard to leave. But they just

779
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,560
Speaker 2: took your job away. Oh, he says, of course not.

780
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 2: I'm not even religious. Church was just a well paying

781
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,880
Speaker 2: job for me. That's a crazy reveal.

782
00:35:25,200 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's that's a not even religious after I old wow,

783
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:29,800
Speaker 1: final sentence.

784
00:35:29,960 --> 00:35:32,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, good luck go pee. Well, seems like you're on

785
00:35:32,280 --> 00:35:32,799
Speaker 3: the right track.

786
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, so go after it. Uh huh.

787
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,640
Speaker 3: But we've got another's story.

788
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 4: My mother in law keeps disfavoring my daughter favor. This

789
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 4: happened last Christmas and it still eats.

790
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: At me in those rare moments when all is calm

791
00:35:50,640 --> 00:35:51,480
Speaker 1: in my household.

792
00:35:51,840 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 4: I want to preface the story with the fact that

793
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:58,200
Speaker 4: I understand people have different ideas of what makes gifting fair.

794
00:35:58,520 --> 00:36:01,000
Speaker 4: While her method is not my of tea, It's not

795
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:04,480
Speaker 4: up to me to dictate how other people give. It's

796
00:36:04,560 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 4: not the how, but the when and the impact it

797
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,239
Speaker 4: had that I'm struggling to decide what to do about.

798
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from user adulting is trifficult.

799
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,759
Speaker 4: From the r slash showkay story. I'm subreddit and if

800
00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,000
Speaker 4: you want to submit your own stories, go on down.

801
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 1: To the olkase toy Time subreddit and submit them there.

802
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,280
Speaker 1: I'm Dakota, I'm.

803
00:36:25,120 --> 00:36:27,240
Speaker 5: Sophia, I'm Keon, and we're here.

804
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:28,720
Speaker 1: To give you our best advice.

805
00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 4: But we haven't experienced most of these situations ourselves, so

806
00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:35,239
Speaker 4: if you have, let us know in the comments and

807
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 4: op says. I also want to say that I don't

808
00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 4: expect people to love step family the same as biofamily.

809
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:46,040
Speaker 4: I'm a fairly logical person I understand that it's awesome

810
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:49,000
Speaker 4: when they do love family the same, regardless of step

811
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:53,160
Speaker 4: or biostatus, but it's also natural to favor biofamily. I

812
00:36:53,239 --> 00:36:56,799
Speaker 4: do expect some amount of decorum and for the favoritism

813
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,920
Speaker 4: not to be palpable to the children.

814
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:01,640
Speaker 1: Maybe I expect too much from some people. I don't know.

815
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,160
Speaker 2: I just think that when you get with a person

816
00:37:04,320 --> 00:37:06,680
Speaker 2: and you have kids already, I don't really know if

817
00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:08,439
Speaker 2: I would want to get with a person who didn't

818
00:37:08,480 --> 00:37:10,680
Speaker 2: have like a very strong connection.

819
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:11,600
Speaker 1: With my kids, you know. Yeah.

820
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 4: I mean like, I think it's the most reasonable and

821
00:37:15,360 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 4: simple thought of all time to be like, yeah, you

822
00:37:18,239 --> 00:37:22,440
Speaker 4: shouldn't make my kids feel like they're less than other people.

823
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, they should just be simple kids.

824
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:25,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

825
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:26,439
Speaker 4: Yeah.

826
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: Yeah.

827
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,800
Speaker 4: Some relevant context, my hubby and I have been together

828
00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 4: for five years. I have an eight year old from

829
00:37:33,239 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 4: my previous marriage, and we have a two year old together.

830
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 4: Hubby is a good step parent and loves my kid

831
00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 4: like she was his own. My mother in law and

832
00:37:40,680 --> 00:37:43,360
Speaker 4: I get along great for the most part. She is

833
00:37:43,560 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 4: loud and opinionated, which can get irritating at times, but

834
00:37:46,880 --> 00:37:49,480
Speaker 4: she's a nice person in general, and also claims to

835
00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:53,359
Speaker 4: love my oldest as her own grandchild. Not sure if

836
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:56,239
Speaker 4: it's relevant context, so I'm sharing in case people think

837
00:37:56,280 --> 00:37:58,279
Speaker 4: it is. I have had to correct her when she's

838
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,759
Speaker 4: overstepped my parenting boundary. She does the same with sister

839
00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:04,239
Speaker 4: in law and brother in law and their kids who

840
00:38:04,280 --> 00:38:08,760
Speaker 4: are two under six years old, but they don't say anything.

841
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:12,280
Speaker 4: They just complained to Hubby about it later. She's backed

842
00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 4: off since I called her out on it, but continues

843
00:38:14,480 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 4: to interfere with sister and brother in law's parenting because

844
00:38:17,680 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 4: they don't God bliss less, sneezer, You'll rename you sneezy. Oh,

845
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:25,800
Speaker 4: I thought you were producing.

846
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:26,840
Speaker 5: I have a headache.

847
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:30,520
Speaker 4: Onto the events leading up to Christmas, all the kids

848
00:38:30,600 --> 00:38:33,200
Speaker 4: created their wish lists with the help of us parents.

849
00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:35,520
Speaker 4: Mother in law reached out to me to ask if

850
00:38:35,520 --> 00:38:37,759
Speaker 4: a gift she picked out that wasn't on the list

851
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 4: would be liked by my eight year old.

852
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 1: I said that she would love it and it was

853
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 1: a great idea.

854
00:38:42,960 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 4: She said, since it was a large item, it would

855
00:38:45,719 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 4: set the price for that year's gift tall for all

856
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 4: the grandkids. Mother in law's of the opinion that spending

857
00:38:51,239 --> 00:38:54,359
Speaker 4: the same amount of money on each kid keeps it fair,

858
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:58,720
Speaker 4: even though the younger children get a higher quantity, as generally,

859
00:38:58,840 --> 00:39:01,840
Speaker 4: wish lists get more expensive as the kids get older.

860
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:04,600
Speaker 4: Not my idea of what makes it fair, but again

861
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:06,680
Speaker 4: not my place to tell other people how to gift.

862
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:09,600
Speaker 4: This would be the first time her method would result

863
00:39:09,719 --> 00:39:12,759
Speaker 4: in some kids only getting one gift. Since I've been

864
00:39:12,840 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 4: going to family Christmas, I think there there is a

865
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 4: certain age when that kind of makes sense. Maybe eight's

866
00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,480
Speaker 4: a little early, yeah, because then it does like you know,

867
00:39:23,600 --> 00:39:25,600
Speaker 4: at that age it's like, wait, but look, they have

868
00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:27,919
Speaker 4: more and you can't really be like, yeah, but yours

869
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:29,800
Speaker 4: cost the same amount as all of them. But they're like,

870
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,839
Speaker 4: but they got to open seven things and I only

871
00:39:32,920 --> 00:39:34,560
Speaker 4: got to open two or one thing.

872
00:39:34,800 --> 00:39:36,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't as fun.

873
00:39:36,440 --> 00:39:38,839
Speaker 2: I remember as a kid being like, wait, I want

874
00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:41,000
Speaker 2: to open just I want to open like, I just

875
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:41,799
Speaker 2: want to open things.

876
00:39:41,920 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me open things. Yeah.

877
00:39:44,400 --> 00:39:46,600
Speaker 4: So but if that's how you yeah, I don't know.

878
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:48,680
Speaker 4: I guess it's true that even if that is how

879
00:39:48,719 --> 00:39:49,400
Speaker 4: you felt, it's.

880
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,000
Speaker 1: Like not your place.

881
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:53,279
Speaker 4: But at the same time, she did ask you yes,

882
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:55,560
Speaker 4: so it was the floor was open for you to

883
00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:58,360
Speaker 4: be like she would like it. But I don't know

884
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 4: if she would like only opening one gift, yeah, you know,

885
00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:04,920
Speaker 4: so maybe spread it out even though she would like that,

886
00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:05,800
Speaker 4: I don't know.

887
00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 1: Fast forward to Christmas Day family gathering.

888
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 4: On the way over, I explained to my daughter the

889
00:40:11,239 --> 00:40:14,759
Speaker 4: method mother in law use to buy gifts so she

890
00:40:14,840 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 4: wouldn't be blindsided when she only got one and the

891
00:40:17,680 --> 00:40:19,400
Speaker 4: younger kids got a few more than her.

892
00:40:19,640 --> 00:40:21,800
Speaker 1: I didn't spoil the surprise of the gift.

893
00:40:22,040 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 4: I was trying to get ahead of the disappointment I

894
00:40:24,400 --> 00:40:26,719
Speaker 4: knew would come from only getting one. I don't know

895
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,600
Speaker 4: if that was the right move. I think that might

896
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 4: have been a wait and see how she handles it,

897
00:40:30,600 --> 00:40:32,920
Speaker 4: and if she doesn't handle it well, then you try

898
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 4: to like damage control, teach the lesson of like, hey,

899
00:40:36,480 --> 00:40:39,719
Speaker 4: sometimes less is more. Sometimes hey, the quality of this

900
00:40:39,880 --> 00:40:41,680
Speaker 4: thing is actually, you know, when you look at what

901
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,440
Speaker 4: they got, I know they will and we'll I'll wrap whatever.

902
00:40:44,600 --> 00:40:45,800
Speaker 4: You'd be like, if you're sad you didn't get to

903
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:48,520
Speaker 4: open more stuff, I'll wrap up some trinkets for you

904
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:50,719
Speaker 4: or something, or you could do that. But I don't

905
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:53,839
Speaker 4: think prefacing was maybe the right move.

906
00:40:54,360 --> 00:40:54,680
Speaker 3: I don't know.

907
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:59,120
Speaker 2: I think it could be potentially good if she knows

908
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:02,040
Speaker 2: that her daughter would throw a fit about her, hopefully not.

909
00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 1: Throw a fit like Jeff Goldbloom.

910
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,920
Speaker 3: Mm hmm, he's always throwing fits. Substantish.

911
00:41:07,120 --> 00:41:09,440
Speaker 1: Okay, Sam, here ogi host, we're gonna get back to

912
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:12,239
Speaker 1: these stories. But here's three minutes fads from our sponsors. First.

913
00:41:12,920 --> 00:41:15,359
Speaker 4: She was a little bummed, but took it pretty well

914
00:41:15,440 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 4: overall and said she understood gift opening time arrives, kids

915
00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 4: start opening gifts.

916
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,640
Speaker 1: Oldest opened her one gift. Sister in law and brother

917
00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 1: in law's oldest also gets the same big gift Q.

918
00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:33,759
Speaker 4: Both toddlers oh getting a plethora of gifts a ten

919
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,279
Speaker 4: to one ratio compared to the older kids. Mother in

920
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 4: law had gotten cheap knockoffs of toys so she could

921
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 4: get more for the set price.

922
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:41,399
Speaker 2: That year.

923
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 4: Daughter enjoyed helping her sibling open their gifts since they

924
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,800
Speaker 4: hadn't figured out how to remove wrapping paper yet, and

925
00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:50,879
Speaker 4: was showing them how to use each one. Crisis successfully

926
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,120
Speaker 4: averted so far. Nephew did not take it so well

927
00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 4: that he only got one while his sibling got more

928
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,680
Speaker 4: and started to loudly whine and fuss about it.

929
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yea, so it seems like you prepped your daughter

930
00:42:02,520 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 2: better than he was prepped.

931
00:42:04,200 --> 00:42:05,160
Speaker 1: Oh he's also younger.

932
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,160
Speaker 3: No, he's a lizard, that's what he is. He's a

933
00:42:08,239 --> 00:42:08,880
Speaker 3: freaking baby.

934
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, what he is. That's just true. That is true.

935
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,960
Speaker 1: This is a baby.

936
00:42:13,200 --> 00:42:13,840
Speaker 3: It's a baby.

937
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:16,680
Speaker 4: I don't fault him for this. I guarantee no one

938
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:19,319
Speaker 4: explained it to him beforehand. And I get that kids

939
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 4: see fairness in quantity, since quality and monetary value are

940
00:42:23,200 --> 00:42:26,400
Speaker 4: less tangible. Hence why I told my kid beforehand. The

941
00:42:26,480 --> 00:42:28,520
Speaker 4: next part is where I have a problem. Mother in

942
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:31,040
Speaker 4: law pulls out more gifts for my nephew.

943
00:42:32,040 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 1: What okay? So not not the not the agreed arrangement.

944
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 4: No, my daughter saw it and got visibly upset, though

945
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:43,080
Speaker 4: no one else seemed to pick up on it. She

946
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 4: asked me why he got more if he got the

947
00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 4: same big gift as her, and she reiterated.

948
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,320
Speaker 1: Mother in law's rule. He started to gently cry, and

949
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:53,879
Speaker 1: I had no words. It hurt my heart.

950
00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:56,640
Speaker 4: I couldn't explain it because, as my daughter pointed out,

951
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:58,840
Speaker 4: mother in law broke her own rule. When people do

952
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:01,279
Speaker 4: crappy things, my auto response is to tell her that

953
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 4: some people just suck sometimes and I didn't want to

954
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 4: say that about my mother in law, even if it

955
00:43:05,680 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 4: was true. In that moment, I just hugged her and

956
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:10,319
Speaker 4: tried to redirect to something else. Eventually, the kids all

957
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 4: ran off to play with other things. She had asked

958
00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,399
Speaker 4: within earshot of mother in law. Mother in law said

959
00:43:15,480 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 4: nothing and acted as if she hadn't heard or seen

960
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 4: my daughter crying. Maybe she didn't, I don't know. She

961
00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,040
Speaker 4: broke her own rule, the one she expressed over and

962
00:43:25,120 --> 00:43:28,440
Speaker 4: over again and heavily emphasized with so much pride that

963
00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,120
Speaker 4: it was how she was keeping things fair, and she

964
00:43:31,280 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 4: did so to the detriment of my daughter's feelings.

965
00:43:34,560 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 2: I think that Opie's plan to like pretty proud her

966
00:43:37,680 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 2: daughter would have been perfectly fine if mother in law

967
00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 2: hadn't lied. So it really sucks that she lied, and

968
00:43:43,360 --> 00:43:45,239
Speaker 2: it seems like what we're gonna learn is that she

969
00:43:45,360 --> 00:43:49,520
Speaker 2: did it because Opie's step or this is step granddaughter. Yeah,

970
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:52,960
Speaker 2: which really sucks. And I think that Opia has the

971
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 2: right idea of just saying, sometimes people do mean stuff

972
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: and we can't really control them, and we just have

973
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 2: to kind of move forward and maybe let's go get

974
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:02,600
Speaker 2: ice cream.

975
00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,400
Speaker 4: It's like you watch an etic code does not match

976
00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:06,640
Speaker 4: the gift registry.

977
00:44:07,200 --> 00:44:10,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, you cannot foresee a second gift.

978
00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 3: Your thumbprint didn't work. Sorry, no gift for you.

979
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:17,480
Speaker 1: Yeah. Just lame. Yeah, just a lame thing to do

980
00:44:17,680 --> 00:44:18,480
Speaker 1: to a child.

981
00:44:18,560 --> 00:44:19,200
Speaker 3: Eight year old?

982
00:44:19,440 --> 00:44:22,800
Speaker 1: Children an eight year old. I haven't flipped around and

983
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:24,799
Speaker 1: be like, dang mother in law, you're really that broke.

984
00:44:25,280 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't afford it.

985
00:44:26,239 --> 00:44:29,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, mother in law, a little giftee. Dang mother in law,

986
00:44:29,160 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know you were broke like that.

987
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 4: You need you want to you want a twenty dollars

988
00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,720
Speaker 4: bill from me here, Hey, merry Christmas, use an Abraham Lincoln,

989
00:44:35,800 --> 00:44:37,640
Speaker 4: go buy yourself some nice Yeah.

990
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 3: You should just not get her a gift.

991
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,120
Speaker 2: And when she's like, why didn't you get me a gift,

992
00:44:41,239 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, well we're not, we're not related.

993
00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. I do hope that she is immediately.

994
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:47,680
Speaker 4: Ope, I do hope you did take her aside, because

995
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,799
Speaker 4: you've already called her out and you and you take

996
00:44:49,840 --> 00:44:51,640
Speaker 4: her side and you go, yeah, I see exactly what

997
00:44:51,680 --> 00:44:52,200
Speaker 4: you're doing here.

998
00:44:52,560 --> 00:44:55,279
Speaker 1: It's not cool, And honestly, I think you should feel

999
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,520
Speaker 1: a little disgusted with yourself. This is a child.

1000
00:44:57,680 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 3: I agree I think we need it.

1001
00:44:59,080 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: Do not want all of the children to feel welcome

1002
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:02,280
Speaker 1: in the family.

1003
00:45:02,640 --> 00:45:04,960
Speaker 3: Definitely get your partner involved, let him know what's going on.

1004
00:45:05,400 --> 00:45:07,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we do have a little more story. See's up.

1005
00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 1: Stop it all off.

1006
00:45:08,800 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 4: As I was looking at the gifts the two toddlers

1007
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,279
Speaker 4: were getting, I noticed half of them weren't from their

1008
00:45:13,320 --> 00:45:16,440
Speaker 4: own wish lists, but from my daughter's list. So not

1009
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:18,680
Speaker 4: only did she make my daughter feel like she was

1010
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:22,080
Speaker 4: worth less than her cousin's on Christmas Day, my daughter

1011
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:24,040
Speaker 4: had to watch her cousin and sibling get some of

1012
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:25,480
Speaker 4: the things she had wanted.

1013
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:27,680
Speaker 1: Is it just my inner mama bear.

1014
00:45:27,640 --> 00:45:31,279
Speaker 4: Overreacting or should I do slash say something As we're

1015
00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:33,520
Speaker 4: approaching the prep season for next Christmas?

1016
00:45:33,800 --> 00:45:36,040
Speaker 1: Move in the shadows? How do I get past this?

1017
00:45:36,520 --> 00:45:39,200
Speaker 4: My daughter hasn't brought it up since, but I'm still

1018
00:45:39,280 --> 00:45:41,399
Speaker 4: irked by it, and that is the end of that story.

1019
00:45:41,640 --> 00:45:43,960
Speaker 4: I do think your daughter is probably pretty resilient and

1020
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:46,839
Speaker 4: gonna be fine. That's why I that's my whole point

1021
00:45:46,880 --> 00:45:49,000
Speaker 4: of like maybe waiting, just like to wait and see

1022
00:45:49,040 --> 00:45:51,320
Speaker 4: how she reacts and then judge, Like, all right, what

1023
00:45:51,680 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 4: level of like like nurturing or shielding is really necessary here.

1024
00:45:56,920 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 4: It seems like she processed that pretty well and almost

1025
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,759
Speaker 4: like opening those gifts even though they were things that

1026
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 4: she might have wanted.

1027
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:05,319
Speaker 1: It sounds like your daughter would be.

1028
00:46:05,280 --> 00:46:07,279
Speaker 4: The kind of person who'd be like, Oh, this is

1029
00:46:07,360 --> 00:46:08,959
Speaker 4: such a good this is so cool, this is something

1030
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:11,479
Speaker 4: I wanted. You're gonna really like this because I would

1031
00:46:11,480 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 4: have really liked this, So you're gonna like it, and

1032
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 4: that means just means you're raising a good kid.

1033
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:15,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1034
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 2: I think that it seems like your daughter is doing gray.

1035
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,920
Speaker 2: I think that she's gonna be fine from this experience. However,

1036
00:46:21,320 --> 00:46:24,719
Speaker 2: it is definitely something you need to address with your

1037
00:46:24,760 --> 00:46:26,839
Speaker 2: partner and mother in law because it's only gonna get

1038
00:46:26,920 --> 00:46:28,919
Speaker 2: worse and more obvious as she grows older.

1039
00:46:29,760 --> 00:46:30,160
Speaker 1: Exactly.

1040
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:32,719
Speaker 4: It's something that's gonna get worse over time. Yeah, so

1041
00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:34,279
Speaker 4: it's something that needs to be called out.

1042
00:46:35,080 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: Nah pretty fast.

1043
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and yeah, I think you're right that I would

1044
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:42,080
Speaker 4: call them out as a team. Yeah, one hundred and

1045
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:46,000
Speaker 4: maybe even get like brother in law sister in law involved. Yeah,

1046
00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:48,640
Speaker 4: you know whoever the relevant parties are just sit down

1047
00:46:48,680 --> 00:46:50,160
Speaker 4: and be like, hey, we need to talk about how

1048
00:46:50,280 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 4: you behave with the kids, But that is the end

1049
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:55,279
Speaker 4: of that story and the end of

1050
00:46:55,320 --> 00:46:57,880
Speaker 2: This episode, So if you'll love us, make sure to

1051
00:46:57,920 --> 00:47:01,800
Speaker 2: subscribe We love you, and see it tomorrow.