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Speaker 1: This is John, this is them. Okay, storytime podcast hosts,

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Speaker 1: and we have some.

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Speaker 2: Good story is coming up for you.

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Speaker 3: That's right.

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Speaker 4: But before that, we have a little morsel of a

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Speaker 4: two minute outbreak from the sponsors, keeping the show delicious.

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Speaker 2: Hmm.

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Speaker 1: My fiance threatened to cancel our wedding if her parents

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Speaker 1: can't live with us.

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Speaker 2: That feels like a romantic relationship that is not built

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Speaker 2: on sturdy ground.

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Speaker 1: It's a quadruple. It's just with their parents.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, the old wise people will give you a question.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just a little wisdom. Fiance twenty seven, female

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Speaker 1: threatens to call off wedding if I male twenty six

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Speaker 1: don't let her parents male fifty seven and female fifty

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Speaker 1: move in with us after the wedding. Obviously, this comes

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Speaker 1: off as a rich people problem. But up until five

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Speaker 1: months ago, I was still living in a one bedroom apartment,

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Speaker 1: working at a rather large supermarket retail store, making twelve

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Speaker 1: dollars an hour, and going to be paying off college

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Speaker 1: debt until I was in my sixties. Buddy, that did

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Speaker 1: not sound like a rich people problem.

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Speaker 2: The hope, I feel like he's just being sarcastic.

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Speaker 1: My fiance is still working her nursing job, and we've

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Speaker 1: been fully living together for four years. By the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from user throwaway nine oh nine oh eight

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Speaker 1: nine seven, and if you want to submit your own stories,

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Speaker 1: go to the r slash okay storytime Stubreddit. Some background

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Speaker 1: into our relationship. We met six years ago. There were

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Speaker 1: literally zero issues with us dating. When it came to

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Speaker 1: some sort of conflict, we sat down, explained both of

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Speaker 1: our sides like adults, and generally fixed the problem. We've

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Speaker 1: rarely gotten into arguments and have the same end goals

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Speaker 1: in life. Have children, grow old together, die, be buried

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Speaker 1: next to each other, and have fun whenever we can.

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Speaker 1: I've always had an incredibly distant relationship with her parents.

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Speaker 1: When she introduced me to them, they both stated they

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Speaker 1: didn't like me to my face and thought I wasn't

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Speaker 1: good enough. Her father even said not in my lifetime

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Speaker 1: when I asked for his permission to marry his daughter,

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Speaker 1: which I stated the only reason I was doing it

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Speaker 1: was as an olive branch. My parents, on the other hand,

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Speaker 1: love my fiance. They scooped her up like she was

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Speaker 1: one of us from the start. They have never said

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Speaker 1: anything bad about her in public nor in private, She,

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Speaker 1: at least in my parents' eyes, is the metaphorical second

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Speaker 1: coming of Christ. During my grandfather's decline in health, I

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Speaker 1: was the first one there. He just got old, and

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Speaker 1: with being old comes complications. I stopped working my higher

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Speaker 1: paying job to work retail to have more time to

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Speaker 1: take care of him because his other children were busy.

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Speaker 1: This was a very stressful time in our relationship, and

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Speaker 1: I had just recently left my job and was not

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Speaker 1: around often, and I myself was super stressed. Recently, I've

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Speaker 1: begun the slow move of everything over there. While we

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Speaker 1: still have to live in our apartment until the lease

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Speaker 1: agreement is up, there's nothing against the rules of me

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Speaker 1: moving stuff out. I brought it up to my girlfriend

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Speaker 1: how taking care of my grandfather has really made me

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Speaker 1: realize how important my family is, and that I wanted

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Speaker 1: to know if it was okay for my parents to

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Speaker 1: move into the new house with us. My dad could

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Speaker 1: retire and my mom can spend the rest of her

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Speaker 1: life relaxing, not stressing over bills or debt, because I

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Speaker 1: can pay that off over time. I'm not insane enough

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Speaker 1: to pay it off only one go. She expressed how

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Speaker 1: that was an amazing idea and how she'd like her

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Speaker 1: parents move in as well. I laughed at that idea

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Speaker 1: and asked her if she was serious, and why would

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Speaker 1: I want to live in a house with people I

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Speaker 1: don't like nowhere I want to interact with. She explained

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Speaker 1: that this could be a good chance for us to

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Speaker 1: heal old wounds and make amends. I explained that not

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Speaker 1: only do I not want to heal old wounds, but

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Speaker 1: if it was up to me, they wouldn't be coming

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Speaker 1: to the wedding. Obviously, this was the wrong thing to say,

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Speaker 1: and now she's giving the ultimatum of let them move

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Speaker 1: in or the wedding is off. While I can understand

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Speaker 1: her side, I seriously do not want to interact with

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Speaker 1: them in any capacity. They've tried numerous times to get

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Speaker 1: her back with ex's lied about me and even spread

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Speaker 1: a rumor about ME being unfaithful until I pulled up

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Speaker 1: real evidence of me being nowhere near where they said

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Speaker 1: I was thanks to Google location. My fiance knows all

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Speaker 1: of this and still wants to try to rebuild a

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Speaker 1: relationship with them. This past week, I've been avoiding her

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Speaker 1: with excuses and white lies. I've been meeting with accountants, lawyers,

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Speaker 1: wedding venue people, and jewelers. I've also been spending all

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Speaker 1: nighters at my grandfather's grave, drinking with them and not

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Speaker 1: getting back home until four am. To me, it feels

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Speaker 1: like my grandfather is still the only person I convent

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Speaker 1: my deepest secrets and frustrations too. So Reddit, this is

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Speaker 1: why I've come to you. I feel trapped. On one hand,

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Speaker 1: I do not want to live with people I absolutely hate.

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Speaker 1: On the other hand, I do not want to lose

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Speaker 1: the woman of my dreams. I want a third party's

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Speaker 1: opinion on the matter, with no connection to me whatsoever,

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Speaker 1: as I feel it's the best way to make a

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Speaker 1: good judgment without people close to me influencing my choices.

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Speaker 1: I'm more than willing to answer questions and know how

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Speaker 1: this suburb of works, because I too am a pizza eating,

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Speaker 1: pimple popping redditor myself. I'll accept that. No, I'll accept that.

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Speaker 1: Amazing Cabinet fourteen ozh four says I really didn't understand

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Speaker 1: the she clearly isn't with me for my money in

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Speaker 1: the opening paragraph, Because yes, op, she is with you

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Speaker 1: for your money. There are a lot of subtle ways

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Speaker 1: to be with someone for their money without making an

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Speaker 1: outright demand for it. She could be planning to quit

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Speaker 1: her job, pay zero expenses, and keep her funds to

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Speaker 1: the side, have herself and her parents live in your

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Speaker 1: house rent free. There are many problems. The ultimatum is

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Speaker 1: a huge one. But further than that is you might

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Speaker 1: not have recourse to make her parents leave once they've

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Speaker 1: established residency in your home. There's a lot there. I'm

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Speaker 1: just gonna go to Op's reply. OHP says, first of all,

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Speaker 1: thank you for your reply. Much like the ninety nine

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Speaker 1: percent of others' comments, it really gave me a sense

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Speaker 1: of direction. I'd like to address a few things as

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Speaker 1: to my thought process after reading your comment, because I

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Speaker 1: did think about the what ifs, at least for my parents,

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Speaker 1: which would apply to her as if they moved in. Newsflash,

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Speaker 1: I'll pass away before I let them her parents move in.

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Speaker 1: My parents would keep the proceeds from selling their house

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Speaker 1: as I have no need for it. Utilities are not

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Speaker 1: an issue. I own the water rights to a natural

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Speaker 1: aquifer spring thingy underground. As for the power, a lot

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Speaker 1: of it is solar energy, which can keep the house

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Speaker 1: going NonStop as long as it's charged. My grandfather was

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Speaker 1: one of those doomsday the government is out to get

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Speaker 1: you crazy old men. I knew about the hunting cabin,

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Speaker 1: I just didn't think it was this big or advanced.

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Speaker 1: So I'll literally never need to pay anything on the

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Speaker 1: property other than tax. I planned to have my parents

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Speaker 1: enter a renting contract and they'd be able to rent

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Speaker 1: out their area and live on the property, use its

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Speaker 1: land or whatever for one dollar a month. Just in

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Speaker 1: case they pissed me off, I can a victim. As

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Speaker 1: for insurance, my dad served twenty three years in the military,

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Speaker 1: and my mom, being his wife, gets that insurance as well.

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Speaker 1: Unless they'd run out of money, they'll be paying their

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Speaker 1: own insurance, while technically speaking, i'd be buying their groceries.

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Speaker 1: My father and I love to hunt and fish, so

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Speaker 1: a lot of our food will be produced on our own.

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Speaker 1: Mom has always wanted a garden, and she can't grow

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Speaker 1: one in the city. Also, no, they wouldn't go on

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Speaker 1: trips with us. As for the hypothetical if her parents

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Speaker 1: moved in, I wouldn't be paying for anything, and they'd

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Speaker 1: be paying me the real price to live on my

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Speaker 1: property and extra because I don't like them. Ten thousand

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Speaker 1: dollars a month. You might think California rent is high.

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Speaker 1: The auditor I hired to see the value of the

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Speaker 1: estate valued rent for a room at an extortion level

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Speaker 1: of money. Thank god, Grandpa bought this land and when

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Speaker 1: milk cost your left shoelace and a blueberry. My parents

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Speaker 1: got money. It was nowhere near what I got, but

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Speaker 1: they got a fair share. Oh maybe that's where the

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Speaker 1: money came from. There's an inheritance Grandpa passed, and that

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Speaker 1: now he's got all this grandpa money.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I see, I see.

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Speaker 1: So they didn't abandon my grandfather my parents. In fact,

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Speaker 1: they visited as often as they could. Given my dad's

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Speaker 1: work schedule and the distance, it was never viable to

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Speaker 1: visit more than once or twice a year. The only

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Speaker 1: reason I was so close was because I went to

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Speaker 1: college in the same state where he lived and stayed

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Speaker 1: because of my fiance. I've already been working closely with

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Speaker 1: accountants and lawyers who've all projected me moving in my

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Speaker 1: parents and living with them for the next thirty to

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Speaker 1: forty years of my life will not dent my money

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Speaker 1: in any significant way. I've already invested money and put

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Speaker 1: money into accounts to generate interest. I won't be losing

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Speaker 1: money unless I buy mega yachts, jets, helicopters, and supercars,

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Speaker 1: and I hate supercars. I'm happy driving my crappy, twelve

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Speaker 1: year old pickup truck because it works. I don't expect

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Speaker 1: her parents to respect me, my money, or my home.

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Speaker 1: Thought in great detail how my parents would be independent

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Speaker 1: of my finances. And my parents have never done me wrong,

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Speaker 1: never given up on me, and encouraged me my entire life.

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Speaker 1: The least I can do is make the rest of

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Speaker 1: their lives something they never dreamed would come true. My

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Speaker 1: dad would have had to work until he passed away

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Speaker 1: to provide for my mom and take care of the

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Speaker 1: debt they had acquired to live and slash take care

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Speaker 1: of me. I wanted them to be happy, and I

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Speaker 1: want them to be close. This will be my only

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Speaker 1: update post available for this subreddit in the forty eight

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Speaker 1: hours since I've posted, that thing took off like a

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Speaker 1: rocket ship. I'd like to start off by thanking everyone

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Speaker 1: for their opinions. While a majority of you told me

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Speaker 1: to leave, others offered compromises, logical alternatives, and gave me questions.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even think to ask myself, I'll put a

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Speaker 1: tld R at the bottom, but I probably won't need it.

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Speaker 1: I think this has been the longest forty eight hours

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Speaker 1: of my life. Reading through comments, responding to them, having

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Speaker 1: meetings IRL, and talking with my fiance have really given

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Speaker 1: me clarity on what my next choice is in life.

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Speaker 1: Are going to be one I've postponed the wedding. Oh

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Speaker 1: I did not expect that.

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Speaker 2: Wow. I thought they were gonna work it out.

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Speaker 1: Maybe it's just the thing and we didn't really talk

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Speaker 1: about this at all. But if you are throwing an

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Speaker 1: ultimatum on the wedding, and this actually happened to a

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Speaker 1: friend of mine, it's like, well, if you're doing that

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Speaker 1: in the first place, I don't even think we're ready

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Speaker 1: to get married. Yeah, because you're like, hang in, you know,

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Speaker 1: you're making like this one thing, Well do this or

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Speaker 1: we won't get married. It's like you can't do that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like, I mean, that's boxing you in

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Speaker 2: or restricting the freedom. Like nice again, not what a

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Speaker 2: good marriage should be based on you starting off on

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Speaker 2: a bad foot.

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Speaker 1: Well, some of you may refer to it as calling

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Speaker 1: her bluff. I call it waiting and seeing as of

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Speaker 1: right now, we're really talking about how compatible we truly are,

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Speaker 1: going over our goals in life again, and talking in

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Speaker 1: depth about the relationship we want with our in laws

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Speaker 1: if we got married. Apparently a lot had changed since

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Speaker 1: the last time we talked about it before I got money.

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Speaker 1: Some of you called it two. Yes, she genuinely thought

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Speaker 1: moving her parents in would make my relationship with them

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Speaker 1: better over time, I've expressed that as a result of

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Speaker 1: all they've said and done to me, any positive relationship

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Speaker 1: or communication with them will only be done out of necessity,

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Speaker 1: for example, if she was pregnant, in the hospital, or

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Speaker 1: during any life altering complication or celebration. She did not

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Speaker 1: take this well, but that was expected. It's important I

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Speaker 1: tell my truth. She believes I'll come around and try

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Speaker 1: to build a relationship with their parents, but as of

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Speaker 1: right now, I can't see myself doing it. Number Three,

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Speaker 1: my parents won't be moving in, as I haven't even

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Speaker 1: asked them yet. I know some of you were confused

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Speaker 1: and assumed it was already happening.

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Speaker 2: It was not.

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Speaker 1: I asked if it was okay if they could not

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Speaker 1: telling her it was happening. Some of you suggested that

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Speaker 1: maybe moving them in as newlyweds was weird, and suggested

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Speaker 1: building them a small house on the property. I didn't

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Speaker 1: think about that, and we'll talk to my accountant and

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Speaker 1: parents about it whenever the conversation needs to be had.

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Speaker 1: Nice idea, read it, strangers. What have I been doing

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Speaker 1: a lot of meetings about my future, my finances and

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Speaker 1: setting up trusts and wills. I'll be re enrolling into

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Speaker 1: school to take classes on business finances, accounting in economics,

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Speaker 1: as my accountant suggested I do. We're still working on

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Speaker 1: a budget, but as of right now, next steps are

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Speaker 1: furthering my education to manage my newfound wealth and opportunity

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Speaker 1: in a healthy way so as not to blow it.

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Speaker 1: As of right now, to be honest, I'm emotionally drained.

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Speaker 1: I think the weight of my grandfather's passing is finally

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Speaker 1: hitting me, despite it being months later. The only thing

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Speaker 1: that kept me going was the idea of the wedding day,

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Speaker 1: and now that it's postponed, I can really only focus

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Speaker 1: on myself, my values, and my emotions. Staying up all

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Speaker 1: night and drinking at a grave site isn't healthy. Well,

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Speaker 1: it's good that you know that. Ope, it's still the

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Speaker 1: first thing you need to know. I've not only promised

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Speaker 1: myself to cut back on the booze, but also not

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Speaker 1: to stay up drinking. I've been thinking about maybe getting

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Speaker 1: into some sort of therapy or grief counseling.

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Speaker 2: Smart yes when.

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Speaker 1: Big thumbs up for that, but I need to make

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Speaker 1: sure that it's in the budget with my accountant, as

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Speaker 1: that's a long term thing. Maybe they know someone couple's counseling.

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Speaker 1: To those that suggested it, that's a wonderful idea. However,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if I can move past her strange

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Speaker 1: dependent relationship with her parents. Initially I thought I could,

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Speaker 1: but with the rose tinted goggles off, I'm starting to

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Speaker 1: see a lot of red flags, and I'm not too

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Speaker 1: confident a therapist or wedding could solve it. We both

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Speaker 1: have issues we need to work through, but right now

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if we'll be working through them together.

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Speaker 1: I know a lot of you said to drop the relationship,

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Speaker 1: but I think after six years, it's worth giving it

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Speaker 1: a try to save it. Making a choice like that

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Speaker 1: without trying to fix the problem seems silly, but I

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Speaker 1: did expect a lot of those answers to come through.

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Speaker 1: It's just how red it is. See they know, just

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Speaker 1: know that I know my worth, I know my values,

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Speaker 1: and I'm not backing down. Maybe we won't work things

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Speaker 1: out and the relationship will just end. Maybe things will

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Speaker 1: work out and we can continue, at least for now.

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Speaker 1: Forty eight hours later, it's too soon to tell.

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Speaker 5: Six.

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Speaker 1: As for the prenup, we haven't signed anything yet. A

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Speaker 1: lot of you were really harping on the nice ring

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Speaker 1: and fancy vacations once a year thing. While the vacation

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Speaker 1: compromise is indeed concerning, the ring issue is something we've

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Speaker 1: been having conflict on for a while. My personal opinion

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Speaker 1: before and now is that rings are overpriced, silly, and

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Speaker 1: serve no significant purpose in a relationship. She says that

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Speaker 1: they're an important symbol of love and commitment. The compromise

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Speaker 1: to the prenup in regards to the ring was I

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Speaker 1: actually buy her a better ring than I already had,

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Speaker 1: which sounds super predatory in those words, but it makes

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Speaker 1: sense in my mind. She doesn't want a Titanic Heart

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Speaker 1: of the Ocean style jewelry piece, just something a bit

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Speaker 1: more noticeable. I probably should have elaborated on that in

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Speaker 1: my original post but hey, everybody makes mistakes. To some

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Speaker 1: it sounds like gold digger mentality. But I know the

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Speaker 1: price range of the ring she wants, and it's about

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Speaker 1: the same range my dad spent on my mom's ring.

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Speaker 1: It's something you'd see on a middle class woman's finger.

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Speaker 1: Nothing huge, nothing small, just enough. I guess why are

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Speaker 1: we making all these judgments like that?

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Speaker 2: Also, I just how not. Maybe i'd just because I'm

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Speaker 2: a romantic, but I just don't like how non romantic

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Speaker 2: this is. I want I wanted to be a little romantic.

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Speaker 1: You know a movie where they had the plastic rings

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Speaker 1: that they got out of like the vending machine.

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure that sounds cute.

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Speaker 1: All you need is a sentiment. It's all in the.

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Speaker 2: Sense it's too much business.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I still think they're just silly circles of and

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Speaker 1: compressed dirt. There's not much to say. We sat down

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Speaker 1: and talked for a while. I explained my side of things.

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Speaker 1: She explained hers. She was upset I was postponing the wedding,

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Speaker 1: but once she realized I wasn't going to fold, so

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Speaker 1: she agreed under the notion that it was best for

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Speaker 1: our relationship to work on this before marriage. Right now,

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Speaker 1: I'm taking a step back from her to clear the

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Speaker 1: air and give us time to formulate what we want

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Speaker 1: on our own. Driven the two hours to the cabin.

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Speaker 1: Thankfully the Internet people hooked that up yesterday. I've talked

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Speaker 1: to my parents, not about them moving in, but about

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Speaker 1: the situation as a whole, leaving out that I went

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Speaker 1: to the Internet before I went to them. While my

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Speaker 1: dad can't just abandon his job, he sends his love

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Speaker 1: and support. My mom is currently making the eighteen hour

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Speaker 1: drive so I wouldn't be alone by myself. I've gotten

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Speaker 1: attempted phone calls from the in laws within the last

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Speaker 1: twenty four hours, but I've watched them ring and went

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Speaker 1: back to doing my everyday tasks like lawn work, meal prep, reading,

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Speaker 1: and binge watching Netflix.

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Speaker 2: I like it. You know, he's a simple guy that

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00:14:56,400 --> 00:14:57,160
Speaker 2: likes simple things.

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Speaker 1: You know, simple things. Yeah, And you know what you

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00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,200
Speaker 1: can do. It's pretty simple. Yeah, you can go binge

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00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,200
Speaker 1: listen to full episodes with stories just like this on

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Speaker 1: Spotify and Apple podcasts and iHeartRadio and wherever you listen

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Speaker 1: to podcasts.

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Speaker 5: What do they have to search?

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Speaker 2: Okay? Story times? And wherever podcasts.

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Speaker 1: Are and it's that easy. It's strange, but right now

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Speaker 1: I feel happier alone than I do with my fiance.

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Speaker 1: Oh buddy, you shouldn't marry this woman then, yeah. Oh,

347
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Speaker 1: maybe it's some sign that it's not meant to be.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I've finally just been able to relax for the

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Speaker 1: first time in years and have found comfort and solitude.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I'm happy my mom is gonna cook me my

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Speaker 1: favorite dinner as a child to cheer me up. I

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Speaker 1: think as of right now, though, I have a lot

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Speaker 1: of work to do, not only emotionally but also literally.

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Speaker 1: I'm thinking about doing some telework just to have a

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Speaker 1: mainstream of income part time, as I'll probably get bored

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Speaker 1: of being jobless in about a week. I need some hobbies.

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Speaker 1: I'm already gonna get bored of being incredibly rich. I

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Speaker 1: gotta do something else.

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Speaker 2: Maybe grow your imagination. I feel like there's a lot

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Speaker 2: of things that you could deal.

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Speaker 1: Brother, you don't have hobbies yet. I don't know if

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Speaker 1: you're ready for marriage. You still got to get hobbies.

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Speaker 2: You got to develop yourself.

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00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:10,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, but that's where that story ends.

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Speaker 2: WOULD love to know what you guys think, so put

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Speaker 2: your answers in the comments in the chat. Do you

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Speaker 2: think help me? The breaks on this relationship was a

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00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:18,840
Speaker 2: good idea. Let us know.

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Speaker 1: My sister's fiance is attracted to me and she totally

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Speaker 1: lost it.

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Speaker 3: Well, maybe you're just better looking.

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Speaker 1: I know the title sounds strange. I'll try to be

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Speaker 1: concise with all the context. I twenty four male, have

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Speaker 1: a sister thirty one female, and due to the age gap,

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Speaker 1: we were never close. We grew up in the US,

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Speaker 1: but after college my sister moved to Europe. I haven't

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Speaker 1: seen her much since she was eighteen and I was

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Speaker 1: about eleven. But because we weren't very close, we were

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Speaker 1: fine with just occasional texting and every other year Christmas visits.

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Speaker 1: By the way, this comes from a user who was deleted,

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00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

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00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:54,880
Speaker 1: to the Arsenal's ogay story. Darn Shub brought it so

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00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,000
Speaker 1: two very important pieces of context for this story. First

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Speaker 1: is that even with the age gap, we look dreamly alike.

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Speaker 1: In the few times she's been home since I was

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Speaker 1: older at sixteen and about twenty three people have commented

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00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,720
Speaker 1: we could be twins. The second is that I am

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Speaker 1: one hundred percent straight I've only ever dated girls and

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Speaker 1: have never been interested or experimented with men in any way.

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Speaker 3: That's crazy, I mean, good for you.

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00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, one hundred percent straight makes me feel like you're not.

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Speaker 1: I've been with the same girl since I was twenty one. Okay,

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00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:26,840
Speaker 1: now on to the main story. About a year ago,

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Speaker 1: my sister met her fiance, who I'll call Rob. I

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Speaker 1: met Rob for the first time this Christmas. We quickly

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Speaker 1: bonded over a shared hobby, which is RuneScape.

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Speaker 3: Oh.

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Speaker 1: We chatted a ton while he was here, and because

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Speaker 1: it was Christmas, we were usually drinking. He seemed a

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00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,520
Speaker 1: little touchy, touching my arm in my back, laughing a lot,

401
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 1: a few oddly timed hugs. I thought nothing of it.

402
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:49,680
Speaker 1: Maybe that's just how Europeans are. I've never been anyways.

403
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 1: They went back to Europe just after New Year's and

404
00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:54,760
Speaker 1: Rob and I have been casually chatting on WhatsApp, mostly

405
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Speaker 1: about video games. Then one day he stopped responding to

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Speaker 1: my messages. A few days later, I asked my sister

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00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:02,720
Speaker 1: if he was okay. She said yes, but she needed

408
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Speaker 1: to talk to me. We agreed to FaceTime the following night.

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00:18:05,359 --> 00:18:08,159
Speaker 1: To keep things short. Here's what my sister told me

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Speaker 1: Rob found me extremely attractive.

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00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:13,360
Speaker 3: Oh ba ho.

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00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,639
Speaker 1: Bo because you played Ruinscape with them. It's true.

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00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,480
Speaker 3: I want I want you to max out my levels.

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00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:23,480
Speaker 1: Apparently because he's attracted to my sister, he also found

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00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,600
Speaker 1: me attractive because we look a lot alike and is

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Speaker 1: now questioning whether or not he's straight. Like called it

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00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:35,320
Speaker 1: like my sister's treating me like I'm some sort of

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00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 1: gay stepping stone wild. That is a great sentence.

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00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,120
Speaker 2: I love that sentence.

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Speaker 1: My sister said they are going to work things out,

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00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:48,119
Speaker 1: but she asked that I stay away from Rob. I

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Speaker 1: figured I rarely see them and this was all bizarre,

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00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,600
Speaker 1: so I agreed. She also asked me to promise I'd

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Speaker 1: never f Rob, which is insane because not only am

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00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,639
Speaker 1: I super duper totally one percent straight, but the implication

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00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:02,919
Speaker 1: is that I'd f my sister's fiance unless I was

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00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:03,439
Speaker 1: told not to.

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Speaker 4: Do you think it was like a oh yeah, he's

429
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:07,400
Speaker 4: super attractive kind of thing, like oh dude, you look

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00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,639
Speaker 4: nice today night, nice, nice dash that kind of thing,

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00:19:09,720 --> 00:19:09,960
Speaker 4: or was.

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00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:10,879
Speaker 3: It like nice?

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00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,320
Speaker 1: It really sounds like he was having a crisis over it.

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00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:17,159
Speaker 1: He's like maybe he was like, why was I hugging

435
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:20,240
Speaker 1: that guy so much luck. Oh my god, that's the

436
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:23,520
Speaker 1: male version of my fiance. Oh yeah, and I want

437
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:24,120
Speaker 1: to kiss it.

438
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,120
Speaker 5: What's going on?

439
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,399
Speaker 1: Why fee help?

440
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,760
Speaker 3: It's like my real mud.

441
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:30,440
Speaker 1: I told her she was being ridiculous and I would

442
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:33,080
Speaker 1: never sleep with her husband. We got into an argument

443
00:19:33,119 --> 00:19:36,320
Speaker 1: because I wouldn't specifically agree not to f him. An

444
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 1: I asked why he wasn't being held accountable because it

445
00:19:40,600 --> 00:19:43,359
Speaker 1: should be his job to leave me alone. He's the

446
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:45,520
Speaker 1: one who wants to f me. I'm not attracted to

447
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:48,320
Speaker 1: him at all. I was told I wouldn't be invited

448
00:19:48,359 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 1: to her wedding. She hung up on me after I

449
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,400
Speaker 1: told her Rob would probably cheat on her with someone

450
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:55,560
Speaker 1: in Europe if she wasn't even sure he wouldn't f

451
00:19:55,640 --> 00:19:58,760
Speaker 1: her own brother. It sounds like your fiance is kind

452
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 1: of gay and doesn't know about it and is freaking

453
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:04,160
Speaker 1: out about it. This is not a paddle with your brother.

454
00:20:04,280 --> 00:20:05,560
Speaker 1: Talk to your stance.

455
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,280
Speaker 4: He has some caves he still needs to explore before

456
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 4: he gets married.

457
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,639
Speaker 1: Cave cave exploring. It's my favorite memes. Caves. That was

458
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:13,960
Speaker 1: my favorite meme trend this year so far, it's pretty good.

459
00:20:14,280 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 1: So it's been about a week since this happened, and

460
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,120
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do. We haven't talked, well,

461
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,160
Speaker 1: I know what not to do her fiance.

462
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,840
Speaker 3: Just promise her you won't do it. Is it that hard?

463
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,840
Speaker 1: It's for real, Just be like, I promise I won't

464
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:31,800
Speaker 1: have your fiance. I promise I won't. He Actually that

465
00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 1: is kind of thing, and he's just playing with her.

466
00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,720
Speaker 1: Oh it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like they're

467
00:20:37,760 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 1: actually they went to Reddit. They went to Reddit with us.

468
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:42,439
Speaker 2: I'm not going to promise you, but like it's not

469
00:20:42,440 --> 00:20:42,960
Speaker 2: gonna happen.

470
00:20:44,200 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 1: You know what this is though, This is just the

471
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,439
Speaker 1: sister like projecting all of the responsibility onto op so

472
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:52,399
Speaker 1: that her marriage doesn't have to now be at the

473
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:57,959
Speaker 1: marriage should on the table of like all right are we?

474
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: Where are we? Where are we at? What are we feeling?

475
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,919
Speaker 6: But I'm thinking like it's a sibling rivalry kind of

476
00:21:01,920 --> 00:21:04,040
Speaker 6: thing where it's like your boys in the meat.

477
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:08,040
Speaker 1: Whoops. I can't make any promises. Yes, it's not my fault.

478
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:10,400
Speaker 1: I can't predict the future. I'm just a better looking

479
00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:12,600
Speaker 1: version of you. I guess if this happened with my

480
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:15,720
Speaker 1: sister and myself be so annoying. Yeah, I'll just be

481
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:16,399
Speaker 1: annoying about it.

482
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:17,000
Speaker 3: Okay.

483
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,520
Speaker 1: God, we haven't talked since. Neither me or my sister

484
00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:22,760
Speaker 1: have told my parents, but it will definitely hit a

485
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,600
Speaker 1: boiling point when wedding invitations go out. What the F

486
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 1: do I do?

487
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,240
Speaker 3: Make the promise? Yeah?

488
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:31,119
Speaker 1: You just say I won't do that? Keep it in

489
00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 1: your parents? So should I apologize and promise I won't

490
00:21:35,800 --> 00:21:38,960
Speaker 1: f ROB to smooth things over? Also, just to be clear,

491
00:21:39,040 --> 00:21:42,040
Speaker 1: I find nothing wrong with being attracted to the same gender,

492
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 1: or being by or anything else. None of this post

493
00:21:44,480 --> 00:21:46,399
Speaker 1: is coming from a place of me being upset for

494
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 1: being accused of not being straight or something like that.

495
00:21:49,359 --> 00:21:51,359
Speaker 1: There's an edit. I'll be speaking to my parents about

496
00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,880
Speaker 1: it tonight, mostly because I'm worried my sister may try

497
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 1: to frame this situation differently nice. I'll be showing them

498
00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,520
Speaker 1: this post as well as them as a Rob sent

499
00:21:58,560 --> 00:22:01,160
Speaker 1: me since I posted here. Update in a few days

500
00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 1: and there are some comments. But before we get into

501
00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,800
Speaker 1: those comments, I want to hear Riley's comments.

502
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:07,399
Speaker 3: Are you going to your parents to find out if

503
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:09,240
Speaker 3: you like boys or not? Is that what we're doing?

504
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:10,280
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

505
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,800
Speaker 3: Well, it's definitely gonna come up.

506
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:15,040
Speaker 4: It's just funny that ted opie at the beginning I'm

507
00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,960
Speaker 4: one hundred percent straight and also is like, but I

508
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:19,199
Speaker 4: can't keep this promise that I won't do this not

509
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:19,800
Speaker 4: straight thing.

510
00:22:20,040 --> 00:22:22,879
Speaker 1: I can't promise you I won't have your fiance. This

511
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,840
Speaker 1: is the wildest thing to get into.

512
00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 3: I am baffled.

513
00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:29,359
Speaker 1: Ugh, let's getting these comments. She has been told by

514
00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 1: the man she wanted to marry. He's questioning if he's

515
00:22:31,640 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: straight or not. This issue existed before you were involved,

516
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,400
Speaker 1: but you were being used as an escapegoat by this guy.

517
00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,800
Speaker 1: Your sister probably keen not to think she's made a

518
00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 1: huge mistake, wants badly to believe the issue is not

519
00:22:42,240 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 1: with her chosen partner, so she's letting herself blame you

520
00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,840
Speaker 1: because it's easier. This kind of misdirection of feeling is

521
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:50,680
Speaker 1: extremely common. It sucks, But the kindest thing you can

522
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:53,200
Speaker 1: do is stay away from the pair of them for now.

523
00:22:53,280 --> 00:22:55,320
Speaker 1: If she goes through with the wedding, sorry if you

524
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,639
Speaker 1: don't get to a tend But frankly, it doesn't sound

525
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,639
Speaker 1: like a recipe for a healthy marriage, so you're not

526
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:00,320
Speaker 1: missing much.

527
00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 2: Good luck.

528
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,160
Speaker 1: There's a second comment What really concerns me is even

529
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,760
Speaker 1: ignoring your genders. Why would someone tell their fiance I

530
00:23:07,840 --> 00:23:10,040
Speaker 1: want to sleep with your sibling because you two look

531
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 1: so alike? Who would ever say that out loud? Comment three.

532
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,520
Speaker 1: In these types of situations, a way to ease things

533
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,040
Speaker 1: is just ask in your mind, what do you see happening?

534
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:18,240
Speaker 2: Oh?

535
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 1: God, don't ask that. She'll say she envisions him cheating

536
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 1: on her with you. You respond, why would I do that?

537
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 1: Why would I sleep with the man any man when

538
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,679
Speaker 1: I'm not attracted to men at all? Make her follow

539
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:31,160
Speaker 1: her own absurd thought process and pull the thread until

540
00:23:31,200 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 1: she unravels the whole thing and see that it doesn't

541
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,960
Speaker 1: make sense. It takes two to tango. I disagree with

542
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: this comment mostly because this is not your mess to

543
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,679
Speaker 1: clean up. Like the previous comments said, this was going

544
00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 1: to happen before you, was going to happen after you.

545
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 1: She needs to be directing all this energy at her fiance,

546
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: not her brother. Yeah, so you're mad at the wrong person.

547
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: Just yeah, you just go you know what you do here.

548
00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,239
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I won't ef your fiance. Sorry you have

549
00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:56,280
Speaker 1: to be worried about that.

550
00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:58,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, hmm, that's true.

551
00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 1: So the post got a lot more attention than I

552
00:24:00,640 --> 00:24:03,399
Speaker 1: was expecting. So here's what happened in the last two days.

553
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,639
Speaker 1: I grew increasingly angry at my sister over what felt

554
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,240
Speaker 1: like accusations on her end during our conversation. Why are

555
00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,959
Speaker 1: we being ruled by our feelings right now?

556
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:11,280
Speaker 3: Dude?

557
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 1: I saw some comments about getting ahead of this and

558
00:24:13,600 --> 00:24:16,359
Speaker 1: talking to my parents asap so that my sister couldn't

559
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 1: get to them first and spin the story. Originally I

560
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,440
Speaker 1: wasn't worried about this, but her behavior during our conversation

561
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:23,439
Speaker 1: was so erratic that I couldn't put it past her.

562
00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,639
Speaker 1: I live only twenty minutes from my parents, so I

563
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 1: went to their house for dinner that night to have

564
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:29,919
Speaker 1: the talk. I asked them to refrain from commenting or

565
00:24:29,960 --> 00:24:32,520
Speaker 1: asking questions until I had said everything. I covered the

566
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,560
Speaker 1: basics Rob and I had chatted. He stopped responding, so

567
00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 1: I talked to my sister. She blew up. I told

568
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:40,400
Speaker 1: them all the details. ROB was into me. Sister said

569
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 1: they were going to work things out. I was asked

570
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 1: not to f him, and I got angry. I was

571
00:24:43,760 --> 00:24:45,639
Speaker 1: very clear to my parents about why I was upset

572
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:48,240
Speaker 1: that I was uninvited from the wedding. I know I'm

573
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,560
Speaker 1: not perfect, So I also told them what I said

574
00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: to my sister before she hung up, which I do regret.

575
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:54,560
Speaker 1: When I finished what I had to say, my dad

576
00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: started laughing, which he's known to do when he's uncomfortable. Hey,

577
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 1: me too. My mom was absolutely horrified. They both admitted

578
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,639
Speaker 1: that they had noticed he was touchy feely with me

579
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:04,480
Speaker 1: over Christmas.

580
00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:07,040
Speaker 4: Oh dude, this is just gonna make Opie spiral even

581
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:09,520
Speaker 4: more into this? Am I actually straight?

582
00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:10,000
Speaker 1: Like?

583
00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:11,680
Speaker 3: Wait? Is actually hitting on me?

584
00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:16,520
Speaker 1: What? Yeah? We talked for a while about the questions

585
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,760
Speaker 1: they had had Rob said anything to me before the

586
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: phone call. No, had I known Rob was attracted to

587
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:24,600
Speaker 1: the same gender or by or questioning. No, I did not.

588
00:25:24,760 --> 00:25:27,120
Speaker 1: We had a whole discussion about why I wouldn't make

589
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,960
Speaker 1: the promise to her, and to my surprise, they were

590
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,160
Speaker 1: completely on my side. What I don't get it, dude,

591
00:25:33,200 --> 00:25:35,480
Speaker 1: It's like you're just making the promise to FLIC.

592
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,639
Speaker 3: Just make the stupid promise.

593
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 1: So okay, now here's where crap hit the fan. As

594
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 1: I mentioned in my last post, Rob had messaged me

595
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,160
Speaker 1: He said he was so sorry for causing all of this,

596
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,840
Speaker 1: for ruining my relationship with my sister. Blah blah blah

597
00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah. He said that he was confused,

598
00:25:51,480 --> 00:25:53,400
Speaker 1: but he does love my sister and wants to move

599
00:25:53,480 --> 00:25:56,479
Speaker 1: past this. I responded much later that night, right before

600
00:25:56,480 --> 00:25:58,439
Speaker 1: going to my parents' house, by saying that things may

601
00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:00,200
Speaker 1: not recover from this, and you should have you they're

602
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:02,040
Speaker 1: broken up with my sister to figure himself out or

603
00:26:02,119 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: kept this to himself. I don't think either of those

604
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: are great. Look, Op just didn't.

605
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 3: Want to have to deal with it.

606
00:26:06,359 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 1: He's like, please, you should have just keptis to yourself

607
00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:10,919
Speaker 1: or done anything. Just do not involve me. And I

608
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:13,199
Speaker 1: don't think I like you, okay, so stop try On

609
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,000
Speaker 1: a very real level, It's like, yeah, you kind of do.

610
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:16,480
Speaker 1: Have to tell him that. I don't know if it's

611
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:18,119
Speaker 1: like the movie is like break up with my sister,

612
00:26:18,160 --> 00:26:20,440
Speaker 1: so you figure yourself out, or like keep this inside forever,

613
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:23,480
Speaker 1: it's like talk this out with my sister, who's your partner?

614
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,240
Speaker 1: And if you realize, hey, I think I think I

615
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:28,479
Speaker 1: might not be ready to get married because I just

616
00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:31,760
Speaker 1: figured out I'm not straight. You take it from there

617
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,280
Speaker 1: right exactly. But it's not Ope's problem. It's not Op's deal.

618
00:26:35,359 --> 00:26:38,200
Speaker 1: Op shouldn't be the one mitigating all of this stuff, yes,

619
00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:41,560
Speaker 1: or mediating, sorry, not mitigating me mediating all of this.

620
00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:46,399
Speaker 1: My parents were beyond upset to hear about Rob reaching

621
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 1: out to me and that I wouldn't be going to

622
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,840
Speaker 1: the wedding even though I asked them not to. They

623
00:26:50,840 --> 00:26:53,560
Speaker 1: called my sister immediately after I left their house. They

624
00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:55,679
Speaker 1: wanted to know if she was okay, why she was

625
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,520
Speaker 1: so accusatory with me, and what was happening in regards

626
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 1: to the wedding. Well, folks, it well was a crap show.

627
00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:04,479
Speaker 1: According to my dad. She started freaking out, yelling and sobbing,

628
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: and accusing them of taking my side. My dad tried

629
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:09,199
Speaker 1: to explain that there aren't any sides here, They just

630
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,560
Speaker 1: wanted to remedy the situation. Their call lasted less than

631
00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:15,240
Speaker 1: five minutes, with my sister going on a tirade about

632
00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:17,119
Speaker 1: how this is her life and she won't let us

633
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:19,640
Speaker 1: ruin it. She claimed she saw my response to Rob

634
00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,040
Speaker 1: and that we were all trying to break them up.

635
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,560
Speaker 1: She then uninvited my parents, who paid for the whole thing,

636
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,440
Speaker 1: from the wedding, and blocked them on everything. We're all

637
00:27:28,480 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 1: worried that she's having a legitimate mental breakdown. We have

638
00:27:30,920 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: no way to contact her, and we have no family

639
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,840
Speaker 1: anywhere in Europe to help out. We have no idea

640
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: how to help her. But by the way, I have

641
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:41,639
Speaker 1: an idea on how you can help yourself. Listen to

642
00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,800
Speaker 1: full episodes with stories just like this. The way you

643
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,439
Speaker 1: help yourself do that shed go to Spotify or Apple

644
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,920
Speaker 1: podcasts or iHeartRadio app or wherever you listen to podcasts

645
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:54,520
Speaker 1: and just search the name of this show. Okay, story time,

646
00:27:54,680 --> 00:27:57,439
Speaker 1: and there you will find fifty eight days worth the stories.

647
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,080
Speaker 1: It's almost two months, folks, but we do have a

648
00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:02,119
Speaker 1: bit more story life. Try so many people in What

649
00:28:02,119 --> 00:28:04,520
Speaker 1: do you have to say about this story?

650
00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 7: Ah?

651
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 3: Nothing I want to talk about Jarna.

652
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,119
Speaker 1: What would the Chinese have to say about this story?

653
00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:12,919
Speaker 4: Let's not I'm just still baffled. The parents took Opie

654
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 4: side on this matter. Why is everyone so heated about

655
00:28:15,640 --> 00:28:18,400
Speaker 4: this promise? Just don't do it? And I think they

656
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:20,560
Speaker 4: should have get married if that this is the or

657
00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 4: put honestly, sister fiance, push the wedding back, talk about

658
00:28:24,880 --> 00:28:26,520
Speaker 4: it and then come back after you go to marriage

659
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:29,080
Speaker 4: counseling which I think every couple should do marriage counseling

660
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,000
Speaker 4: before getting married.

661
00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 3: I think it would be the best.

662
00:28:31,560 --> 00:28:34,919
Speaker 1: Before getting married, pre marriage counseling. That's a that's a

663
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,160
Speaker 1: solid idea. I think that's I think that's actually really good.

664
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:40,600
Speaker 1: At this point, we are quite sure the wedding won't happen,

665
00:28:40,760 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 1: as my parents certainly won't pay for it. After all

666
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:45,120
Speaker 1: of this, we're worried she may hurt herself, but we

667
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 1: know Rob is a good natured guy and will hopefully

668
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,480
Speaker 1: take care of her. I met a total loss. My

669
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:51,640
Speaker 1: sister and I were never close, but I never imagined

670
00:28:51,680 --> 00:28:54,720
Speaker 1: her relationship with everyone in our family would completely implode

671
00:28:54,720 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: within seventy two hours. Honestly looking for advice on where

672
00:28:57,520 --> 00:28:59,560
Speaker 1: to go from here. Rob hasn't blocked me on what's

673
00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 1: app but I'm unsure if reaching out to him is

674
00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:03,520
Speaker 1: a good idea. And that is the end of that story.

675
00:29:03,600 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: All right, okay, but no, it's all right. That's not good.

676
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 1: Do you know what country she's in? Do you know

677
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:12,440
Speaker 1: where she lives at all? Like information, and there's plenty

678
00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,600
Speaker 1: of it out there, you know, on socials, your parents

679
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: have to know something, right, Like if you guys don't

680
00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:21,520
Speaker 1: even know anyone in her life in Europe or anyone

681
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 1: out there. I don't know. That makes me question how

682
00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: close y'all have been at all?

683
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 3: Mmmm?

684
00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:28,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, Like it's kind of sad ah. She has her

685
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,840
Speaker 4: husband and no one else, but like barely you guys.

686
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:32,640
Speaker 1: But it sounds like it's her choice, you know what

687
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,840
Speaker 1: I mean. I don't think. I don't think you guys

688
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:37,160
Speaker 1: weren't close because you were, like you shunned her and

689
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 1: exiled her to Europe. It's it's probably the opposite, you know.

690
00:29:40,600 --> 00:29:43,600
Speaker 1: But don't know what you could do short of calling

691
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,720
Speaker 1: like a consulate's office or something to do a wellness check.

692
00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:48,719
Speaker 1: But I don't I don't know.

693
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know what to do either.

694
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: Hey, it's John here. We're gonna get back to this episode,

695
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:54,800
Speaker 1: but a quick three minute break.

696
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 2: With aswermre sponsors.

697
00:29:56,280 --> 00:29:58,400
Speaker 1: My husband got upset over my outfit.

698
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: He accused me of seeking male attention.

699
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,600
Speaker 1: What were you dressed like some sort of mail attention seeker.

700
00:30:04,800 --> 00:30:07,920
Speaker 2: Well, my husband thirty seven mail let's call him Mark,

701
00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:11,280
Speaker 2: and I thirty four femail, have been having a rough

702
00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:13,959
Speaker 2: few years. We got married in the fall of twenty nineteen,

703
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: and after being together for five years before then and

704
00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:19,880
Speaker 2: over the course a few months after the pandemic. By

705
00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from Imaginary Guide eight two seven

706
00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:23,840
Speaker 2: three and if you want to submit your own stories,

707
00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:26,520
Speaker 2: good our slash Okay Storytime Subreddit. So I had the

708
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 2: misfortune of getting a pretty bad case of the VID

709
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,520
Speaker 2: near the beginning of the pandemic. Was hospitalized for two weeks,

710
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:36,800
Speaker 2: which turned into the long VID. I wasn't completely disabled,

711
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 2: but dealt with a lot of the typical symptoms extreme fatigue,

712
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:44,320
Speaker 2: brain fog, reduced immune system, generally resulting in several bad infections.

713
00:30:44,360 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 2: I didn't lose my job, but did have to take

714
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 2: intermittent FMLA, which meant a lot of time without pay,

715
00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:54,320
Speaker 2: and we wrapped up twenty thousand dollars in debt between

716
00:30:54,360 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 2: the medical bills not covered by insurance and loss of

717
00:30:57,440 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 2: some of my income. Although I tried to be mindful

718
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:04,760
Speaker 2: of my eating, I also gained forty five pounds thanks

719
00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 2: to being on antidepressants, several rounds of steroid medication, and

720
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:11,480
Speaker 2: not being able to exercise. Through all of this, Mark

721
00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:14,040
Speaker 2: was incredibly loving and supportive. You never said a bad

722
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 2: word about my weight, lack of energy, or inability to

723
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:20,920
Speaker 2: contribute financially at the same level as before. Finally, last summer,

724
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,400
Speaker 2: I started to feel a lot better and most of

725
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 2: the long VID symptoms subsided. I was able to return

726
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:28,720
Speaker 2: to work full time and had energy to work out again.

727
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,880
Speaker 2: In the past year, we have paid off all our

728
00:31:30,920 --> 00:31:34,080
Speaker 2: debt and rebuilt our emergency fund, and I've lost thirty

729
00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,240
Speaker 2: five of the forty five pounds I gained. My doctor

730
00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:39,040
Speaker 2: says it's a good place for me to end up.

731
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 2: I was borderline underweight before and am now on the

732
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:44,240
Speaker 2: slimmer side of normal slash healthy weights.

733
00:31:44,400 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: Good freaking come back.

734
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:50,200
Speaker 2: Let's go ope y. Mark and I hadn't been having

735
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:53,160
Speaker 2: many date nights since we got married, between the pandemic,

736
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:55,760
Speaker 2: my illness, and then for the past year working to

737
00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 2: get our finances in order. However, to celebrate my birthday,

738
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,960
Speaker 2: we decided to have her at an upscale bistroke and

739
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:07,080
Speaker 2: then go see the Barbie movie. He actually suggested the movie.

740
00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:10,440
Speaker 2: This was last Saturday. My actual birthday wasn't for a

741
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 2: few more days, but we wanted to go on the weekend.

742
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: I was excited to dress up, as most of my

743
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 2: clothes had gotten baggy and drabbed during my illness and

744
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 2: wake gain, but I was finally feeling comfortable in my

745
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:24,120
Speaker 2: own skin again. I decided to go full Barbie Coore

746
00:32:24,440 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 2: pink sleeveless dress fitted at the top and then flared

747
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:31,040
Speaker 2: out and pink kitten heels with a matching bag that

748
00:32:31,120 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 2: sounds like a fire fit. The money for the outfit

749
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,240
Speaker 2: came from a birthday check from my mom. She insisted

750
00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:38,120
Speaker 2: that I spend it on something fun. When I put

751
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:41,040
Speaker 2: on the outfit, I felt really pretty for the first

752
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:45,960
Speaker 2: time in a long time. Unfortunately, and surprisingly, Mark reacted

753
00:32:46,040 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: badly to it. He said I looked sluty and attention sinking,

754
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:52,960
Speaker 2: and essentially accused me of trying to get attention of

755
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:56,680
Speaker 2: other men and that I should cover up more. I protested, because,

756
00:32:56,720 --> 00:32:59,040
Speaker 2: first of all, we were going to a restaurant table

757
00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:01,640
Speaker 2: for two and a movie theater, when exactly was I

758
00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:03,800
Speaker 2: going to be interacting socially with other men. Also, the

759
00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 2: outfit was quite dramatic and striking, but it wasn't revealing.

760
00:33:06,920 --> 00:33:10,080
Speaker 2: Sleeveless dresses are pretty normal date nightwear for a hot

761
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 2: summer day, and it wasn't low cut. The neckline was

762
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:16,480
Speaker 2: at the collarbone and was on the longer side calf length.

763
00:33:16,560 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 2: But I didn't want to argue, so I put on

764
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:21,000
Speaker 2: a black knit cardigan over the dress. But it wasn't

765
00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,160
Speaker 2: enough for Mark. Nope, still no dice for Mark. He

766
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,600
Speaker 2: said it was still attention seeking. At this point, I

767
00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:27,960
Speaker 2: really wanted to get going and not to miss our reservation,

768
00:33:28,160 --> 00:33:29,880
Speaker 2: so I gave up on the dress and changed and

769
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:34,360
Speaker 2: defitted jeans and a pastel pink to the top. Not fitted. Nope.

770
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,400
Speaker 2: Mark still said I looked like I was trying to

771
00:33:36,440 --> 00:33:38,400
Speaker 2: attract other men. So I threw on a hoodie over

772
00:33:38,480 --> 00:33:40,640
Speaker 2: the top, but then he said I looked sloppy.

773
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 1: I was really exasperated by this point and asked.

774
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:45,320
Speaker 2: If he wanted to come to my closet to pick

775
00:33:45,320 --> 00:33:47,600
Speaker 2: an outfit that was acceptable. And he started yelling that

776
00:33:47,680 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 2: I was too stupid to even understand that I was

777
00:33:50,680 --> 00:33:53,240
Speaker 2: disrespecting him, and that I didn't know how to dress myself.

778
00:33:53,280 --> 00:33:54,719
Speaker 2: This seems like a man who's trying to pick a fight.

779
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, anytime you're here, you go to your partner and

780
00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,840
Speaker 1: you say you're too stupid to know that you're respecting me,

781
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 1: and just tell me what, tell me what you were

782
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:04,160
Speaker 1: you're being dumb.

783
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:06,280
Speaker 2: Then he said he was going for a drive and

784
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,279
Speaker 2: was going to go to the movie without me. The

785
00:34:08,360 --> 00:34:10,960
Speaker 2: tacos were on his phone. He came home after midnight,

786
00:34:11,040 --> 00:34:12,839
Speaker 2: said he didn't want to talk and that he's going

787
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,000
Speaker 2: to sleep in the guest room. He has barely spoken

788
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,040
Speaker 2: to me since my actual birthday was a couple of

789
00:34:17,120 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 2: days ago, and he did not even acknowledge it. I

790
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:23,160
Speaker 2: begged him to please talk to me and tell me

791
00:34:23,200 --> 00:34:25,080
Speaker 2: what was really going on, but he said he was

792
00:34:25,160 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 2: still too angry. So am I the a hole for

793
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 2: not trying to change my clothes yet again before our

794
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:33,000
Speaker 2: date for my birthday? I still don't know what he

795
00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 2: was really upset about and what sort of outfit would

796
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 2: have been acceptable. And no, he's never once tried to

797
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,440
Speaker 2: make rules about what I could wear or commented at

798
00:34:40,440 --> 00:34:42,560
Speaker 2: all my clothes except tell me that I look nice

799
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:44,799
Speaker 2: or that he liked certain colors on me. This really

800
00:34:44,840 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: came out of nowhere as far as I can tell.

801
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: And again, he selected the Barbie movie and planned the date,

802
00:34:49,800 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 2: so it's not like I was strong arming him into

803
00:34:52,400 --> 00:34:54,640
Speaker 2: plans he didn't want. And there is an update. I

804
00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: did end up going to my mom's place for the

805
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:59,319
Speaker 2: weekend last weekend and had a nice girl's weekend with

806
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 2: my mom and sister. We did see the movie on Saturday,

807
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 2: I got to wear my original planned outfit yay, and

808
00:35:04,480 --> 00:35:07,480
Speaker 2: then got brunch and had a fun salon outing on Sunday.

809
00:35:07,560 --> 00:35:11,359
Speaker 2: Late afternoon Sunday, I texted Mark, my husband, to say

810
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,359
Speaker 2: I was coming home in a couple of hours and

811
00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,400
Speaker 2: that I hoped you would be ready to talk. That

812
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,719
Speaker 2: I would gladly hear him out regarding anything that had

813
00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 2: been upsetting him, but I really couldn't take the silent

814
00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:24,719
Speaker 2: treatment anymore, as it had been over.

815
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:28,480
Speaker 1: A week by then. He just texted back, Okay, what

816
00:35:29,080 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 1: a week, grown man. Giving you the silent treatment for

817
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:35,920
Speaker 1: a week is immediate grounds for not dating that person.

818
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:39,920
Speaker 2: We did talk after I got home, and boy, it

819
00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:41,280
Speaker 2: was a doozy.

820
00:35:41,320 --> 00:35:45,080
Speaker 1: Ooh boy, howdy oh boy, howdy boy.

821
00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 7: Oh.

822
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,040
Speaker 2: I love a good doozy. It turns out Mark has

823
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:53,000
Speaker 2: been building resentment for years since I first got sick

824
00:35:53,040 --> 00:35:54,920
Speaker 2: with the VID nearly three and a half years ago.

825
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,239
Speaker 2: Not so much in the first few months, but when

826
00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:00,640
Speaker 2: it was clear my illness had turned in total LONGVID

827
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:04,040
Speaker 2: and an ongoing disability, he started to feel very put

828
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:07,120
Speaker 2: upon due to not being able to generate as much income,

829
00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:09,880
Speaker 2: not being able to do my share the housework and cooking,

830
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,080
Speaker 2: et cetera. He put up a good front because he

831
00:36:12,120 --> 00:36:13,960
Speaker 2: knew it wouldn't be fair to take it out of me,

832
00:36:14,080 --> 00:36:16,720
Speaker 2: especially when he could see I was doing my best

833
00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 2: to get better and do what I could on my

834
00:36:19,320 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: better days. But ultimately he got very burned out, and

835
00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,840
Speaker 2: then after a year or so, he started seeking outlets

836
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 2: as in other women. He said, at first it was

837
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:32,000
Speaker 2: just basically anonymous online spicy texting because the pandemic was

838
00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:35,320
Speaker 2: still raging. But by early last year he had formed

839
00:36:35,360 --> 00:36:39,600
Speaker 2: an online emotional connection with someone in the area who

840
00:36:39,600 --> 00:36:43,360
Speaker 2: he eventually met in person for a physical affair, someone

841
00:36:43,800 --> 00:36:46,920
Speaker 2: he is in love with now and still seeing my God,

842
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:49,040
Speaker 2: he said, He's been trying to figure out what to do,

843
00:36:49,160 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 2: especially as I have been getting better over the past year,

844
00:36:51,760 --> 00:36:53,440
Speaker 2: lost most of the weight I gain, got back to

845
00:36:53,480 --> 00:36:55,960
Speaker 2: fulfilling all my responsibilities at home and work, et cetera.

846
00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,520
Speaker 2: But when I walked out in my Barbie core dress

847
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 2: expecting to have a romantic birthday date, he just couldn't

848
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:03,439
Speaker 2: do it. He couldn't go out and pretend to love

849
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,520
Speaker 2: me and be celebratory when he wanted to be with

850
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 2: someone else. So he picked a fight when I couldn't win,

851
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:09,759
Speaker 2: and then yes, when he walked out, he did take

852
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,040
Speaker 2: is a fair partner to dinner and the movie instead.

853
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:16,479
Speaker 1: The thing is, I do understand him seeking some kind

854
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:17,040
Speaker 1: of outlet.

855
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 2: I was sick for years, ndege, you're drinking his kool aid,

856
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: and between physical ailments and brain fog, I wasn't able

857
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,799
Speaker 2: to participate consistently in the marriage on any level, not

858
00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:29,240
Speaker 2: as an equal partner. He'd only been married a few

859
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 2: months when I got sick, so it's not even like

860
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,160
Speaker 2: we had a lot of shared history to fall back on.

861
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:35,560
Speaker 2: I'm sure he must have felt exhausted, stress and lonely,

862
00:37:35,719 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 2: especially as it wasn't certain I would be able to

863
00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:42,640
Speaker 2: recover at all. I asked if he would consider marriage counseling. Ooh,

864
00:37:42,680 --> 00:37:45,200
Speaker 2: I mean, hey, I again, I do think it's a

865
00:37:45,200 --> 00:37:47,399
Speaker 2: good idea to get some kind of counseling. But I

866
00:37:47,480 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: really feel like I feel like it's gonna be really

867
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,920
Speaker 2: hard to get back to a good relationship here. I

868
00:37:51,920 --> 00:37:53,440
Speaker 2: don't know, if I don't know, if it can't get back.

869
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:56,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, I don't know if him taking out is

870
00:37:56,040 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: a fair partner for your birthday date. I don't know

871
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: if you should come back from that. I think there's

872
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,600
Speaker 1: a level of self respect you need to have to

873
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 1: not let someone who did that to you back into

874
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:09,000
Speaker 1: your life as like a partner.

875
00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: And recommitting to our marriage. But he said sadly that

876
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,200
Speaker 2: his heart had moved on. He did say he was

877
00:38:14,239 --> 00:38:16,160
Speaker 2: so sorry, that he never meant to fall in love

878
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,320
Speaker 2: with someone else and was just trying to be less lonely,

879
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,799
Speaker 2: and that I didn't deserve this, and I especially didn't

880
00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,040
Speaker 2: deserve the way he treated me a couple of weeks ago.

881
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:24,799
Speaker 2: By the way, if you don't want to treat us

882
00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:27,200
Speaker 2: like absolute crap, you should listen to full episodes of

883
00:38:27,280 --> 00:38:31,040
Speaker 2: stories just like this. Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

884
00:38:31,160 --> 00:38:34,600
Speaker 2: iHeart podcast, or your favorite podcast happens search Okay, storytime,

885
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 2: there's another relevant updates. But yeah, I feel like you

886
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:40,480
Speaker 2: got to go towards divorce, but maybe gracefully exit the bors.

887
00:38:40,800 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 1: I mean, like base bottom line is, it's like once

888
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:46,560
Speaker 1: the once infidelity happens and cheating happens, it's whoever got

889
00:38:46,640 --> 00:38:49,160
Speaker 1: cheated on is completely up to them, whether or not

890
00:38:49,160 --> 00:38:51,479
Speaker 1: they want to stay in it. However, given everything I've

891
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: seen and heard in this story, I don't think I

892
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:58,839
Speaker 1: would not recommend OP try to salvage this. I would

893
00:38:58,880 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: run because it's like it's it's not like a man.

894
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:03,479
Speaker 1: What's your partner's like, I'm in love with someone else.

895
00:39:03,560 --> 00:39:05,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a little rough. It's a little rough.

896
00:39:05,080 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 1: I don't think you can undo that.

897
00:39:06,520 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 2: I guess divorce it is. I don't expect it will

898
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 2: be very dramatic. We've been talking a lot over the

899
00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:14,400
Speaker 2: past week, no more silent treatment, to figure out how

900
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,840
Speaker 2: to divide stuff and try to make things cordial. In

901
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:20,360
Speaker 2: the end, I don't even think he is an a hole,

902
00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 2: maybe for the way he acted surrounding my birthday, but overall,

903
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:25,040
Speaker 2: I think he is just human beings who eventually broke

904
00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:27,200
Speaker 2: down from stress and loneliness. I do wish him well,

905
00:39:27,239 --> 00:39:29,160
Speaker 2: and I'm so grateful that at least I am healthy

906
00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 2: again for whatever life has next in store for me,

907
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:34,479
Speaker 2: and that is where that story ends. I do think

908
00:39:34,600 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 2: Op is being as kind an understanding as possible, but

909
00:39:38,040 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 2: I do also think maybe extend that kindness to yourself,

910
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 2: make sure you get the love and support that you

911
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:45,279
Speaker 2: need to move on from this.

912
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:48,160
Speaker 1: I don't think that her grace is coming from the

913
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:50,719
Speaker 1: right it's right from the right place. Yes, it's coming

914
00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:52,239
Speaker 1: from a place of where it's like, ah, well, a

915
00:39:52,239 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: lot of this is on me. So I'm going to

916
00:39:54,480 --> 00:39:56,799
Speaker 1: give him a pass because I shouldn't have been sick.

917
00:39:56,880 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 1: She's and I was difficult to be a partner.

918
00:40:00,680 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 2: She's feeling bad about the sickness, and I feel like

919
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 2: that is not being totally fair to you. Hey, it's Sam.

920
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:10,080
Speaker 2: We're going to get back to these stories. But here's

921
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 2: three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

922
00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 5: My sister's fiance dislikes me. Now she acts like I'm

923
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:18,440
Speaker 5: the enemy. Well maybe you are. Maybe it's time to

924
00:40:18,480 --> 00:40:21,319
Speaker 5: self reflect. I don't know. My thirty female sister twenty

925
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 5: six female and I had a good relationship growing up

926
00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:27,000
Speaker 5: and into adulthood. We talked several times a week and

927
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:30,319
Speaker 5: regularly played steam games together. When I moved out of

928
00:40:30,320 --> 00:40:33,200
Speaker 5: state for undergrad and grad school, she occasionally flew out

929
00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:35,040
Speaker 5: to visit me. By the way, this comes from, please

930
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,080
Speaker 5: send advice. Thank you, and if you want to submit

931
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 5: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

932
00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:41,759
Speaker 5: time separate it. So a few years ago, she met

933
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:44,800
Speaker 5: her current fiance during a doctor's appointment. She had recently

934
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,799
Speaker 5: broken up with her previous boyfriend, and he asked her out.

935
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 5: She moved in with him within a week of their meeting. Okay,

936
00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:54,520
Speaker 5: this is a crazy story already. We're like three sentences in.

937
00:40:54,719 --> 00:40:57,000
Speaker 5: Every sentence is more and more crazy.

938
00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 1: Yeah.

939
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,400
Speaker 5: I told her over the phone that I was concerned

940
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,319
Speaker 5: about her movie moving in so quickly. And then he

941
00:41:01,400 --> 00:41:05,000
Speaker 5: asked her out during a professional health visit, So so

942
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:11,319
Speaker 5: this implies then he was her doctor. Okay, so he

943
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 5: was like, you were a hot I was checking your

944
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:18,319
Speaker 5: blood pressure. Yeah. She said that I never approved of

945
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:20,400
Speaker 5: any of her by friend, which is true because they

946
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:23,839
Speaker 5: were harmful and or dealing substances, and she stopped reaching out.

947
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:26,439
Speaker 5: I thought she needed time to process, so I left

948
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,479
Speaker 5: it at that. A lot of people raise concerns about

949
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 5: him being her doctor, which I agree with me too.

950
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 5: She justify the relationship by saying that she was going

951
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 5: to get a new doctor. Okay she did, and that

952
00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:40,040
Speaker 5: it didn't matter how they met, only that they had met. Okay,

953
00:41:40,160 --> 00:41:42,200
Speaker 5: I mean, I guess I did bring up my concerns

954
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 5: with other family members, but my sister has had a

955
00:41:44,560 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 5: string of violent boyfriends in the past, and her most

956
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:50,760
Speaker 5: recent boyfriend was dealing substances, so everyone was mostly relieved

957
00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 5: that she was dating a doctor. I disagreed with what

958
00:41:53,520 --> 00:41:55,920
Speaker 5: they were saying, but I was asked by multiple people

959
00:41:55,960 --> 00:41:58,480
Speaker 5: to stay out of their relationship because it didn't involve me.

960
00:41:58,719 --> 00:42:01,400
Speaker 5: I met my sister's fiance during a family gathering. He

961
00:42:01,440 --> 00:42:03,800
Speaker 5: asked one of our relatives, who was in middle school,

962
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:05,760
Speaker 5: if he could come over to his house to play

963
00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 5: games together. I didn't hear this conversation, and my relatives'

964
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:12,360
Speaker 5: parents were not there. After my sister and her fiance left,

965
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 5: my relative asked me to tell my sister that he

966
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,920
Speaker 5: didn't want her fiance to come over. I texted this

967
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:19,680
Speaker 5: to my sister and she said that she would at

968
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:21,800
Speaker 5: him now, but that her fiance was trying to me friendly.

969
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:26,000
Speaker 5: I said that he's got a habit of being very friendly.

970
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:26,640
Speaker 3: Yeah.

971
00:42:26,719 --> 00:42:29,160
Speaker 5: I said that was fine, but to still tell him

972
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,400
Speaker 5: not to come over to our relative's house because he

973
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:34,560
Speaker 5: felt uncomfortable. She said okay, and that was the last

974
00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:37,480
Speaker 5: time I had any direct contact with my sister via

975
00:42:37,560 --> 00:42:40,320
Speaker 5: phone or text. Over the next few years, I continued

976
00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:42,640
Speaker 5: grad school in another state. My sister said that her

977
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 5: phone was broken, which was why she wasn't getting my

978
00:42:45,400 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 5: calls or texts. I kept suggesting that she get a

979
00:42:48,080 --> 00:42:50,400
Speaker 5: new phone, and she said she was getting around to it.

980
00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:53,200
Speaker 5: During this time, she would still ask me through other

981
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 5: people for money and to pet sit for which I

982
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:57,560
Speaker 5: always agreed to when I could. Oh, we didn't talk

983
00:42:57,640 --> 00:43:00,439
Speaker 5: much outside of this. Last year, I visited home during

984
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:03,040
Speaker 5: a school break. I can't remember my exact phrasing, but

985
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 5: I asked my sister what she wanted our relationship to

986
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,440
Speaker 5: look like. She admitted that she blocked my number years

987
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:12,040
Speaker 5: ago because she felt that I was judgmental and condescending,

988
00:43:12,800 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 5: and that she thinks I've changed because I've went to

989
00:43:15,040 --> 00:43:19,319
Speaker 5: grad school. What's the relationship again, sisters? I was like,

990
00:43:19,920 --> 00:43:23,200
Speaker 5: your family, your sister, your sister. She's like, yeah, I

991
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:25,719
Speaker 5: blocked you years ago. You're just like annoy I don't know,

992
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:28,200
Speaker 5: you just don't like you don't support me and my

993
00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:29,200
Speaker 5: doctor boyfriend.

994
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:31,600
Speaker 6: It takes a lot for me to block people, so

995
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:33,200
Speaker 6: that's really funny to me.

996
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 5: Yeah. I asked her for examples, but she only brought

997
00:43:37,000 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 5: up conversation topics, eg. When we were talking about a

998
00:43:40,360 --> 00:43:43,360
Speaker 5: book or her pets. She couldn't remember specific examples, so

999
00:43:43,440 --> 00:43:45,480
Speaker 5: I just said I would be more mindful of my

1000
00:43:45,560 --> 00:43:48,600
Speaker 5: words and tone moving forward. Why are you even entertaining

1001
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,840
Speaker 5: that this was the majority of our conversation. In that

1002
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 5: same conversation, she said that when our father left I

1003
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:55,879
Speaker 5: was eight and she was four, I took it out

1004
00:43:55,920 --> 00:43:58,080
Speaker 5: on her and that she wanted more boundaries with me.

1005
00:43:58,160 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 5: She didn't go into specific events elaborate on the boundaries.

1006
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,080
Speaker 5: I did not tell her that I didn't remember what

1007
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:05,759
Speaker 5: she was talking about. I apologized to her, and she

1008
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,400
Speaker 5: thanked me for being receptive. Fast forward to earlier this year.

1009
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:12,080
Speaker 5: Earlier this year, my sister asked me, through her fiance,

1010
00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:14,640
Speaker 5: if I could fly home to pet sit for two

1011
00:44:14,680 --> 00:44:17,040
Speaker 5: weeks while they traveled. I was done with courses and

1012
00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,520
Speaker 5: have been working full time on my thesis, and my

1013
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,160
Speaker 5: work was able to accommodate, so I agreed. While they

1014
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:24,520
Speaker 5: were abroad, I learned through my friends that she got

1015
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:28,120
Speaker 5: engaged because she posted it on TikTok Nice Crazy. My

1016
00:44:28,200 --> 00:44:31,640
Speaker 5: sister has a significant following to the point of getting sponsorships,

1017
00:44:31,680 --> 00:44:35,239
Speaker 5: which is why I got back to my friends. Crazy

1018
00:44:35,440 --> 00:44:39,880
Speaker 5: Everything in the stories Wild. Yeah, I was upset that

1019
00:44:39,920 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 5: my sister didn't tell me about the engagement. I was

1020
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,440
Speaker 5: upset that they got engaged. It felt like my sister

1021
00:44:45,480 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 5: wanted the benefits of the relationship with me without the

1022
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:52,360
Speaker 5: actual relationship m and the engagement was like a catalyst

1023
00:44:52,480 --> 00:44:54,880
Speaker 5: for those feelings. For the last few years, I have

1024
00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,719
Speaker 5: been paying for several of her streaming services, which I

1025
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:01,240
Speaker 5: didn't use while they were still abroad. Canceled the services

1026
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:04,440
Speaker 5: and didn't tell them in advance. I know this was petty. Oh,

1027
00:45:04,560 --> 00:45:08,319
Speaker 5: he's like, I canceled my Netflix subscription and I'm just

1028
00:45:08,360 --> 00:45:12,680
Speaker 5: a latent word of notice. Hey did, Now I'll get

1029
00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:16,360
Speaker 5: my revenge. She's gonna be so mad and when she

1030
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:20,279
Speaker 5: figures it out. A few days after they got back,

1031
00:45:20,320 --> 00:45:22,960
Speaker 5: they came to drop off gifts and pick up their pets.

1032
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 5: My mother asked both me and my sister in advance

1033
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:28,000
Speaker 5: to not argue with each other. My mother knew I

1034
00:45:28,040 --> 00:45:30,279
Speaker 5: was upset that they didn't tell me about the engagement

1035
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:33,279
Speaker 5: and that my sister was upset about the cancelations. When

1036
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 5: they came over, my sister said that she was surprised

1037
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:38,000
Speaker 5: I got them an engagement gift because she thought I

1038
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 5: was upset about the engagement. I said I was, but

1039
00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:42,320
Speaker 5: that we didn't have to talk about it. Her fiance

1040
00:45:42,520 --> 00:45:44,479
Speaker 5: said that he felt like we had to talk about

1041
00:45:44,520 --> 00:45:46,920
Speaker 5: it because he was excited to bring me gifts, but

1042
00:45:47,080 --> 00:45:50,000
Speaker 5: I wasn't excited about their engagement. I tried to shut

1043
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:52,920
Speaker 5: down this part of the conversation twice, but he insisted,

1044
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,160
Speaker 5: y'all have a weird relationship. It's like you don't like

1045
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:58,520
Speaker 5: them or support them, and they don't really like you.

1046
00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:03,680
Speaker 5: I guess we're We were like, let's talk it out. Yeah.

1047
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,560
Speaker 5: He said that because I technically had access to TikTok,

1048
00:46:06,640 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 5: I technically had access to all the same information as

1049
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 5: everyone else, and I didn't have a right to be upset. Yeah, okay,

1050
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 5: He's like, I don't know. Read the news, dude, and

1051
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:19,520
Speaker 5: you'll find out the same time everyone else does about

1052
00:46:19,520 --> 00:46:23,040
Speaker 5: our engagement. My gosh. He also said that they were

1053
00:46:23,080 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 5: allowed to tell or not tell whoever they wanted, and

1054
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,040
Speaker 5: that they weren't planning to tell any family members to

1055
00:46:28,080 --> 00:46:31,799
Speaker 5: maintain privacy. Why do they want privacy, I'm sorry? He

1056
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:34,640
Speaker 5: was like, yeah, we want to maintain privacy. Yeah, so

1057
00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:38,719
Speaker 5: we're posting it to our millions of followers on TikTok. Right, wait, yeah, what.

1058
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,520
Speaker 5: I didn't say this because I didn't want to escalate

1059
00:46:41,560 --> 00:46:45,000
Speaker 5: the situation. But it didn't make any sense to me

1060
00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 5: that they expected me to be excited about engagement that

1061
00:46:48,200 --> 00:46:50,879
Speaker 5: they didn't tell me about and we're planning to tell

1062
00:46:50,880 --> 00:46:51,400
Speaker 5: me about.

1063
00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:51,600
Speaker 1: It.

1064
00:46:51,640 --> 00:46:53,840
Speaker 5: Also didn't make any sense that they wanted to maintain

1065
00:46:53,880 --> 00:46:57,000
Speaker 5: privacy yet posted it on TikTok to a large following.

1066
00:46:57,160 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 3: Here you go.

1067
00:46:57,640 --> 00:46:59,560
Speaker 5: I said that if they really wanted to talk about this,

1068
00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,400
Speaker 5: then it wasn't that I was upset about the engagement

1069
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,120
Speaker 5: as much as I was about my relationship with my sister.

1070
00:47:05,239 --> 00:47:07,200
Speaker 5: My sister and I used to be close but had

1071
00:47:07,200 --> 00:47:09,959
Speaker 5: been distant for years, so her not telling me about

1072
00:47:09,960 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 5: the engagement felt more like a catalyst for the distance

1073
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,759
Speaker 5: I was feeling. I brought up the conversations we had

1074
00:47:14,840 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 5: last year, and I asked her what boundaries in our

1075
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:20,120
Speaker 5: relationship look like. I asked this question because she was

1076
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:22,799
Speaker 5: still asking me for favors but didn't seem like she

1077
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 5: wanted an actual relationship with me, so I wanted to

1078
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:28,560
Speaker 5: clarify our expectations for each other. She said that she

1079
00:47:28,680 --> 00:47:31,640
Speaker 5: made her boundaries clear last year and that by asking

1080
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:36,759
Speaker 5: her about her boundaries, I was disrespecting them. Well, you

1081
00:47:36,800 --> 00:47:40,600
Speaker 5: can't ask me about my boundaries. That's my boundary.

1082
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:44,319
Speaker 7: Like the only rule is that you can't ask what

1083
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:45,000
Speaker 7: the rules are.

1084
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's like this is fight club. Can't talk about

1085
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:51,440
Speaker 5: my boundarates. Dude, that's that's wild.

1086
00:47:52,080 --> 00:47:54,759
Speaker 6: Uh what what?

1087
00:47:54,760 --> 00:47:55,320
Speaker 5: What?

1088
00:47:55,320 --> 00:47:55,600
Speaker 1: What?

1089
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:57,960
Speaker 5: I this feels all so fishy.

1090
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:00,799
Speaker 6: Someone I hear who was earlier the thing of like

1091
00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:05,520
Speaker 6: her being blocked came up before said that the boyfriend

1092
00:48:05,560 --> 00:48:08,319
Speaker 6: or fiance, your husband whatever he is now blocked the

1093
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 6: sister and that it's it wasn't like the sister blocking.

1094
00:48:10,800 --> 00:48:11,759
Speaker 5: The other you know what I mean.

1095
00:48:12,239 --> 00:48:14,799
Speaker 6: And if she's like being weird about all this like

1096
00:48:14,880 --> 00:48:17,759
Speaker 6: engagement and stuff, and uh huh, maybe it's some sort

1097
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:21,600
Speaker 6: of weird kind of controlling manipulatives that makes sense.

1098
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 5: Telltale signs. These are tell sale signs. This is true.

1099
00:48:25,160 --> 00:48:25,359
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1100
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:29,399
Speaker 5: I said that there might be miscommunication because I still

1101
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 5: wasn't sure what her boundaries were. Last year, she had

1102
00:48:34,080 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 5: only said she wanted more space, but didn't elaborate. Around

1103
00:48:37,200 --> 00:48:39,640
Speaker 5: this time, she said that I was up YUSA. Well,

1104
00:48:39,800 --> 00:48:42,200
Speaker 5: she reiterated that when our father left, I was eight

1105
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 5: and she was four. I took it out on her.

1106
00:48:44,120 --> 00:48:45,879
Speaker 5: This time, she gave me examples.

1107
00:48:46,080 --> 00:48:46,719
Speaker 1: She said that I.

1108
00:48:46,719 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 5: Told her he didn't love her, and that I deliberately

1109
00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,680
Speaker 5: broke her toye boy. Mostly I was confused. I said

1110
00:48:52,680 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 5: that I believe what she was saying, and that I

1111
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:56,840
Speaker 5: also didn't remember these events. She said that I blocked

1112
00:48:56,840 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 5: out the memories. I asked her if there were more

1113
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,160
Speaker 5: recent examples. I didn't say this out loud, but I

1114
00:49:02,239 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 5: asked her this because I felt that it was unfair

1115
00:49:04,680 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 5: she was judging me as an adult based on my

1116
00:49:06,719 --> 00:49:10,520
Speaker 5: behavior in elementary school. I understand that this question might

1117
00:49:10,520 --> 00:49:12,759
Speaker 5: have come off as me not believing her, but I

1118
00:49:12,800 --> 00:49:15,400
Speaker 5: was trying to get an idea of how she viewed

1119
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:18,560
Speaker 5: our present day relationship and myself. She said that when

1120
00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:20,960
Speaker 5: I moved back home for a year after undergrad, which

1121
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 5: was ten years ago, I punted her out of the

1122
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 5: house and forced her to sleep on the street. She

1123
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,719
Speaker 5: said that I once destroyed her bedroom and that I

1124
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 5: had once asked her to clear her desk, but she

1125
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:30,759
Speaker 5: was taking too long, so I screamed at her and

1126
00:49:30,800 --> 00:49:32,600
Speaker 5: forced her outside in the middle of the night. What

1127
00:49:33,040 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 5: I have never done any of these things. At the time,

1128
00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:39,359
Speaker 5: my sister, mother, and I were also housing another family member.

1129
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 5: I spoke with my mother after this conversation, and I

1130
00:49:41,920 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 5: recently asked the other family member, and no one remembers

1131
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:48,400
Speaker 5: any of the events my sister described. At this time,

1132
00:49:48,440 --> 00:49:51,080
Speaker 5: her fiance said that he expected a considerate person to

1133
00:49:51,160 --> 00:49:54,680
Speaker 5: immediately apologize instead of asking all of these questions. I

1134
00:49:54,719 --> 00:49:57,799
Speaker 5: did apologize then, which I regret. I spoke to my

1135
00:49:57,840 --> 00:50:00,959
Speaker 5: therapist about this afterward, and she agreed that but by apologizing,

1136
00:50:01,000 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 5: I implied that I did the things my sister accused

1137
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:06,120
Speaker 5: me of. I asked my sister if she still viewed

1138
00:50:06,160 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 5: me as the same person she was describing. She didn't

1139
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 5: have time to answer because her fiance asked me if

1140
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 5: I felt her characterization of me was unfair. I did

1141
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:16,680
Speaker 5: think it was unfair, but I thought that if I

1142
00:50:16,760 --> 00:50:19,560
Speaker 5: said yes, I would be accused of gaslighting, or my

1143
00:50:19,600 --> 00:50:21,520
Speaker 5: sister would just tell me again that I blocked out

1144
00:50:21,560 --> 00:50:23,359
Speaker 5: the memories. So when I said that it didn't matter

1145
00:50:23,440 --> 00:50:25,799
Speaker 5: if I thought their characterization of me was unfair, I

1146
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:28,720
Speaker 5: was trying to validate my sister's feelings. Validate her feelings,

1147
00:50:28,719 --> 00:50:30,640
Speaker 5: not the event she described, and I wanted to shift

1148
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,319
Speaker 5: the conversation back to what she wanted from our relationship.

1149
00:50:33,440 --> 00:50:35,840
Speaker 5: This is why I next asked her if she wanted

1150
00:50:35,880 --> 00:50:38,040
Speaker 5: to spend time with me anymore, or if she felt

1151
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,319
Speaker 5: obligated to. I wanted to know if she wanted an

1152
00:50:40,360 --> 00:50:43,800
Speaker 5: actual relationship with me. When I came back for school break,

1153
00:50:43,880 --> 00:50:46,880
Speaker 5: we still had dinner together, but we rarely talked because

1154
00:50:46,920 --> 00:50:49,319
Speaker 5: there were other family members in between us. She said

1155
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,200
Speaker 5: she didn't have to answer this question, and I agreed

1156
00:50:52,239 --> 00:50:54,600
Speaker 5: with her that she didn't need to answer. After they left,

1157
00:50:54,640 --> 00:50:57,239
Speaker 5: I texted her fiance to ask if I could send

1158
00:50:57,239 --> 00:50:59,480
Speaker 5: a letter to my sister through him. He agreed. I

1159
00:50:59,520 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 5: thanked them for coming over and having a difficult conversation.

1160
00:51:02,239 --> 00:51:04,759
Speaker 5: I said that whenever I tried to explain my perspective,

1161
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,399
Speaker 5: it unintentionally came off as in validation of hers, which

1162
00:51:08,440 --> 00:51:10,640
Speaker 5: isn't my intent. I said that I spoke to our mother,

1163
00:51:10,719 --> 00:51:13,200
Speaker 5: who also doesn't know about the events you describe, but

1164
00:51:13,239 --> 00:51:15,960
Speaker 5: that I wanted to talk more to clarify whatever was

1165
00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,560
Speaker 5: going on. I apologized again for breaking her toys and

1166
00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:21,080
Speaker 5: telling her our father didn't love her. Her fiance texted

1167
00:51:21,160 --> 00:51:23,480
Speaker 5: back that they didn't want further contact from me, and

1168
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:25,640
Speaker 5: that they hoped I would get hope. I have not

1169
00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:27,720
Speaker 5: tried to contact either of them since.

1170
00:51:28,239 --> 00:51:32,400
Speaker 7: Yeah, what this is just like, I'm what, there's so

1171
00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 7: much going on that, I mean, that doesn't make sense.

1172
00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:37,440
Speaker 5: The next day, my mother said that my sister asked

1173
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:39,840
Speaker 5: to move into her house. My sister said that it

1174
00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:42,759
Speaker 5: was her fiance's idea. For the last few years, my

1175
00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 5: sister and her fiance had been living in an apartment

1176
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 5: in saving money to buy a house several states away.

1177
00:51:48,960 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 5: One of my sister's conditions was that if she moved

1178
00:51:51,200 --> 00:51:53,520
Speaker 5: in with her fiance, I wasn't allowed to stay at

1179
00:51:53,560 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 5: my mother's house anymore.

1180
00:51:55,880 --> 00:52:00,560
Speaker 6: What wait, huh, this whole family is so backwards they

1181
00:52:00,640 --> 00:52:01,239
Speaker 6: don't get it.

1182
00:52:01,360 --> 00:52:04,680
Speaker 5: My mother said no, and my sister called back, asking

1183
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:06,799
Speaker 5: for one hundred k is an engagement gift for the

1184
00:52:06,840 --> 00:52:09,440
Speaker 5: down payment of aush This is so funny because the

1185
00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:13,200
Speaker 5: sister is like expecting all this to like her mom

1186
00:52:13,239 --> 00:52:15,719
Speaker 5: to just, yeah, you know, agree to every all of

1187
00:52:15,760 --> 00:52:19,239
Speaker 5: her demands, but the demands have no backing. Yeah, she's like,

1188
00:52:19,520 --> 00:52:22,319
Speaker 5: you better give me one hundred k or else, and

1189
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 5: the mom's like all one, She's like, my bluff.

1190
00:52:26,680 --> 00:52:27,440
Speaker 1: You got me here.

1191
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:30,480
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's this boyfriend man or this fiance.

1192
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:31,160
Speaker 1: Truly.

1193
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 5: My mother talked her down to forty two point five

1194
00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,799
Speaker 5: K on the condition that she not moved back in

1195
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:39,239
Speaker 5: with her. I told my mother that I disagreed with

1196
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,680
Speaker 5: her decision to give my sister so much money, but

1197
00:52:41,719 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 5: at the end of the day, it was her money wowne,

1198
00:52:44,200 --> 00:52:48,160
Speaker 5: so she is doing it. Yeah, she's man. After that,

1199
00:52:48,239 --> 00:52:50,440
Speaker 5: I flew back to my own apartment across the country

1200
00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,120
Speaker 5: and continued grad school. I thought things would cool off

1201
00:52:53,160 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 5: with my sister, but over the next four to five months,

1202
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:57,520
Speaker 5: she kept reaching out to me through my mother to

1203
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:00,840
Speaker 5: petsit for I have said no multiple times. Recently, she

1204
00:53:00,960 --> 00:53:03,719
Speaker 5: quit her job at her fiance's workplace. She worked there

1205
00:53:03,800 --> 00:53:06,680
Speaker 5: for a few weeks in addition to her social media sponsorships,

1206
00:53:06,719 --> 00:53:09,520
Speaker 5: but said that it was too stressful. My sister asked

1207
00:53:09,520 --> 00:53:11,799
Speaker 5: my mother if she could increase her monthly allowance from

1208
00:53:11,800 --> 00:53:14,000
Speaker 5: one point three K to one point six K because

1209
00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:17,279
Speaker 5: she was no longer working. Is your mom just unemployed?

1210
00:53:17,280 --> 00:53:19,960
Speaker 5: You're getting unemployment from your mom? Your mom?

1211
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:23,319
Speaker 7: You richly if this mom could just randomly give away

1212
00:53:23,520 --> 00:53:27,000
Speaker 7: forty two thousand dollars and then also an allowance of

1213
00:53:27,080 --> 00:53:28,160
Speaker 7: several thousand dollars.

1214
00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 5: Gotta be rich, got me to gotta be. She also

1215
00:53:31,120 --> 00:53:33,520
Speaker 5: said that because she no longer had a job, she

1216
00:53:33,600 --> 00:53:36,000
Speaker 5: needed to move in with my mother to save more money.

1217
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,359
Speaker 5: The original condition for the forty two point five K

1218
00:53:38,800 --> 00:53:40,880
Speaker 5: was for my sister not to move in, so my

1219
00:53:40,920 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 5: mother asked her if she still expected the money. My

1220
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:46,960
Speaker 5: sister said that because my mother already promised forty two

1221
00:53:46,960 --> 00:53:48,520
Speaker 5: point five K, she couldn't.

1222
00:53:48,239 --> 00:53:48,799
Speaker 1: Pick it back.

1223
00:53:49,239 --> 00:53:51,680
Speaker 5: No take backs, can't. She's like, I know, I said

1224
00:53:51,680 --> 00:53:52,880
Speaker 5: that you only had to give it to me if

1225
00:53:52,920 --> 00:53:55,080
Speaker 5: I didn't move in, But you already said that you

1226
00:53:55,160 --> 00:53:57,719
Speaker 5: were going to get you so trying to make loopooles.

1227
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,920
Speaker 5: A lot of people have asked about the fiances financial situation.

1228
00:54:01,080 --> 00:54:03,200
Speaker 5: Based on his job, he should be making at least

1229
00:54:03,239 --> 00:54:05,839
Speaker 5: one hundred K year, but it's most likely more. I

1230
00:54:05,880 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 5: know he has student loans to pay off, but I

1231
00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:09,839
Speaker 5: don't know how much or what his payments are like.

1232
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:11,719
Speaker 5: They had been saving up for the down payment for

1233
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 5: several years, so I did ask my mother how much

1234
00:54:14,600 --> 00:54:17,359
Speaker 5: they had saved. My mother said that my sister doesn't know.

1235
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:20,279
Speaker 5: I asked how this was possible, and my mother said

1236
00:54:20,360 --> 00:54:23,520
Speaker 5: that it doesn't seem like they discuss finances. The only

1237
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:26,640
Speaker 5: time they discuss finances is when they ask the mom

1238
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 5: for money. Yeah, this turned into a whole different conversation

1239
00:54:30,120 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 5: with my mother about the relationship. But I digress. Fast

1240
00:54:33,600 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 5: forward to yesterday. Book Today, I already bought tickets to

1241
00:54:37,239 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 5: visit home this summer. Yesterday, my mother called to tell

1242
00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:41,640
Speaker 5: me that my sister wanted to move in this summer

1243
00:54:41,680 --> 00:54:44,879
Speaker 5: with her fiance, which was also her fiance's idea. One

1244
00:54:44,880 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 5: in my sister's condition is that I'm not allowed to

1245
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 5: stay at my mother's house while she lives there because

1246
00:54:49,560 --> 00:54:52,120
Speaker 5: she's worried that we'll argue. My sister suggested that I

1247
00:54:52,160 --> 00:54:54,480
Speaker 5: stay in an airbnb when I visit, which I cannot

1248
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,080
Speaker 5: afford with my grad student stipend. My mother and one

1249
00:54:57,080 --> 00:54:59,360
Speaker 5: of my aunts, who I also confide in, suggested that

1250
00:54:59,440 --> 00:55:02,239
Speaker 5: I not visit until my sister moves out. Why are

1251
00:55:02,320 --> 00:55:06,840
Speaker 5: your aunt, like your family members all catering to freaking

1252
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:09,200
Speaker 5: your sister. I don't know, man.

1253
00:55:09,080 --> 00:55:13,480
Speaker 4: But she's the golden child old. We have to make

1254
00:55:13,520 --> 00:55:16,440
Speaker 4: sure she's okay at every every turn and every stop.

1255
00:55:16,760 --> 00:55:18,719
Speaker 5: So my sister said that she would live at my

1256
00:55:18,719 --> 00:55:21,520
Speaker 5: mother's house for one year max, at which point I

1257
00:55:21,560 --> 00:55:22,200
Speaker 5: could return.

1258
00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 1: What is going on?

1259
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:29,120
Speaker 5: That's how it works, like, you may come back in

1260
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:32,759
Speaker 5: thirty days if you pay me thirty thousand dollars.

1261
00:55:32,880 --> 00:55:33,480
Speaker 3: I bet you.

1262
00:55:33,600 --> 00:55:36,879
Speaker 4: It was a horror living with her whenever she was young,

1263
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:39,080
Speaker 4: because you know, as a young one who was definitely

1264
00:55:39,080 --> 00:55:40,320
Speaker 4: calling all the shoh.

1265
00:55:40,200 --> 00:55:43,719
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry in advance if this update is confusing,

1266
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,279
Speaker 5: But this only happened earlier today, and I learned a

1267
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 5: lot of new info which is chronologically all over the place.

1268
00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:52,160
Speaker 5: My mother spoke to my sister over the phone. My

1269
00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:55,319
Speaker 5: mother suggested a few compromises. That my sister and her

1270
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:58,319
Speaker 5: fiance stay at an airbnb, or that they pay for

1271
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,000
Speaker 5: my airbnb, or that my sister and her fiance could

1272
00:56:01,000 --> 00:56:03,000
Speaker 5: take the upstairs and I could take the basement, or

1273
00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:06,279
Speaker 5: vice versa. My sister said no to all of these

1274
00:56:06,320 --> 00:56:08,600
Speaker 5: things and keeps asserting that she doesn't want me there

1275
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:11,800
Speaker 5: while she lives there. Things get a bit confusing here, yeah,

1276
00:56:11,960 --> 00:56:14,719
Speaker 5: they do. My mother said that during her conversation, my

1277
00:56:14,760 --> 00:56:17,400
Speaker 5: sister said the following. She said that when we were younger,

1278
00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:19,920
Speaker 5: my mother always told this not to fight over toys,

1279
00:56:20,000 --> 00:56:22,120
Speaker 5: but that my sister always had to give the toys

1280
00:56:22,120 --> 00:56:25,879
Speaker 5: to me. This girl is not over the toys. It's

1281
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:29,319
Speaker 5: been so many years, the like she's like, the only

1282
00:56:29,320 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 5: thing that I can complain about is you taking my

1283
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:34,239
Speaker 5: toys when I was four. She said that because she

1284
00:56:34,280 --> 00:56:36,239
Speaker 5: didn't get what she wanted as a kid, it's only

1285
00:56:36,239 --> 00:56:38,120
Speaker 5: fair for her to get what she wants as an adult.

1286
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:40,840
Speaker 5: My sister accused me of telling our relative, who was

1287
00:56:40,880 --> 00:56:43,440
Speaker 5: in middle school at the time, that her fiance was

1288
00:56:43,440 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 5: a bad person, which is why our relative DOT didn't

1289
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:49,320
Speaker 5: want her fiance over at his house. This is completely false,

1290
00:56:49,400 --> 00:56:51,640
Speaker 5: and our relative can attest to this, but I don't

1291
00:56:51,640 --> 00:56:53,919
Speaker 5: want to drag him into this. My sister also said

1292
00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:56,080
Speaker 5: that the monthly allowance my mother gave her was going

1293
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:58,880
Speaker 5: almost entirely to the down payment, so she and her

1294
00:56:58,880 --> 00:57:01,239
Speaker 5: fiance would need to cut down on food, and if

1295
00:57:01,280 --> 00:57:03,000
Speaker 5: our mother didn't let her move back in, it was

1296
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:05,880
Speaker 5: her fault that they had to go hungry. Yes, everyone

1297
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:09,080
Speaker 5: knows that doctors are poor. She said that if I

1298
00:57:09,160 --> 00:57:11,239
Speaker 5: were to move back in, I would start fights with

1299
00:57:11,320 --> 00:57:13,719
Speaker 5: both of them, and her fiance wouldn't be happy with me.

1300
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 5: Being there anyway. She also said she was worried I

1301
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:18,560
Speaker 5: would ruin her fiance's reputation as a doctor.

1302
00:57:18,680 --> 00:57:18,760
Speaker 7: What.

1303
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm sure him dating his patient didn't do anything like.

1304
00:57:23,040 --> 00:57:27,360
Speaker 6: Literally, what would OPE do to ruin this fiance's reputation?

1305
00:57:27,480 --> 00:57:31,680
Speaker 5: Don't think any sense? Really doesn't any ah ah. My

1306
00:57:31,760 --> 00:57:33,919
Speaker 5: mother and I spoke on the phone for over an hour.

1307
00:57:34,040 --> 00:57:36,160
Speaker 5: My mother said my sister wouldn't be open to it.

1308
00:57:36,280 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 5: I tried to counter everything my sister said. My mother

1309
00:57:38,800 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 5: agreed with me, but said she still felt bad for her.

1310
00:57:41,440 --> 00:57:43,920
Speaker 5: Your mother is a pushover. Yeah, I kept saying that

1311
00:57:43,960 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 5: I didn't care if my sister and her fiance moved in,

1312
00:57:46,600 --> 00:57:49,400
Speaker 5: but I cared whether I would be allowed over for breaks.

1313
00:57:49,640 --> 00:57:52,680
Speaker 5: We went in circles almost the entire time. My mother

1314
00:57:52,800 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 5: kept asking me what I wanted her to do. I

1315
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:57,080
Speaker 5: kept repeating myself. She kept saying that she felt really

1316
00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,840
Speaker 5: bad for my sister because my sister keept calling her in.

1317
00:58:00,640 --> 00:58:02,920
Speaker 5: So my mother ended up saying that I should be

1318
00:58:03,000 --> 00:58:05,280
Speaker 5: fine with not visiting for the time that my sister

1319
00:58:05,360 --> 00:58:07,280
Speaker 5: is there, and to just let her move in. She

1320
00:58:07,400 --> 00:58:09,880
Speaker 5: kept insisting. So I said that if I wasn't allowed

1321
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:12,040
Speaker 5: back for that time. Then I wasn't sure when I

1322
00:58:12,080 --> 00:58:13,920
Speaker 5: would be coming back. She told me not to be

1323
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:16,320
Speaker 5: like that, and I ended up hanging up on her.

1324
00:58:16,480 --> 00:58:18,680
Speaker 5: She was tried to call back at least a dozen

1325
00:58:18,800 --> 00:58:21,320
Speaker 5: times and I haven't picked up, but I probably will

1326
00:58:21,480 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 5: at some point. My thoughts. A few people brought up

1327
00:58:25,320 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 5: my sister's fiance as a potential issue. After reading through

1328
00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:30,520
Speaker 5: everyone's comments in organizing my thoughts, I think this might

1329
00:58:30,560 --> 00:58:33,959
Speaker 5: be true. I couldn't include every single detail event here,

1330
00:58:34,000 --> 00:58:36,960
Speaker 5: but thinking back, he has told my sister about random

1331
00:58:37,000 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 5: conversations we have had that were a point of conflict,

1332
00:58:39,800 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 5: even though I didn't think they were. For example, I

1333
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,400
Speaker 5: once saw him holding something in his hand, so I

1334
00:58:44,480 --> 00:58:46,560
Speaker 5: asked him what it was. He said it was a

1335
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,760
Speaker 5: capo for guitar. This was the entire conversation. Later on,

1336
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:51,320
Speaker 5: my sister came up to me to say that I

1337
00:58:51,360 --> 00:58:54,320
Speaker 5: needed to be more considerate of other people's feelings. Dude,

1338
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:56,560
Speaker 5: I said, I didn't know what she was talking about.

1339
00:58:56,640 --> 00:58:59,160
Speaker 5: She said that by asking him about the capo earlier,

1340
00:58:59,240 --> 00:59:01,880
Speaker 5: I was being on supportive. She's like, why don't you

1341
00:59:02,000 --> 00:59:04,520
Speaker 5: get it? We don't talk about my boundaries and we

1342
00:59:04,600 --> 00:59:07,920
Speaker 5: don't talk about the capo because those are the boundaries. Okay,

1343
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:09,200
Speaker 5: I'm losing my mind.

1344
00:59:09,440 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 6: I wonder if it's like a power play that these

1345
00:59:11,920 --> 00:59:14,320
Speaker 6: people do where it's just like, oh my gosh, like

1346
00:59:14,400 --> 00:59:16,360
Speaker 6: your sister did this. Are you going to stand up

1347
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,160
Speaker 6: for me? Are you going to prove that you're, like,

1348
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,160
Speaker 6: you know, a good partner and stand up to your

1349
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 6: sister because of like this thing that she did. She

1350
00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:24,640
Speaker 6: asked me about the capo. Baby, you know what I've

1351
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:25,520
Speaker 6: said to him.

1352
00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:29,720
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's yeah, my guitar career is just starting.

1353
00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,400
Speaker 6: Like that's also so weird because that is something where

1354
00:59:33,400 --> 00:59:35,400
Speaker 6: it's like, how can you even like I don't know,

1355
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 6: at least some situations where I've heard people doing that

1356
00:59:37,600 --> 00:59:39,600
Speaker 6: kind of stuff, it's like, okay, I kind of see

1357
00:59:39,600 --> 00:59:42,240
Speaker 6: where your head's at, but it's wrong. But this is

1358
00:59:42,280 --> 00:59:45,480
Speaker 6: like I can't even see how you got to that conclusion.

1359
00:59:45,560 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 5: There are other weird instances. For example, my sister has

1360
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 5: sometimes described her feelings like my fiance have noticed that

1361
00:59:52,680 --> 00:59:56,200
Speaker 5: I seem uncomfortable around you, and I think that he's right.

1362
00:59:56,400 --> 00:59:58,160
Speaker 5: Looking back, there are a lot of little things that

1363
00:59:58,200 --> 01:00:00,800
Speaker 5: didn't seem like a big deal. Yep, when taken together

1364
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:03,480
Speaker 5: I'm not as sure anymore. A lot of people have

1365
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,800
Speaker 5: asked why she keeps asking me to pet sit, even

1366
01:00:05,840 --> 01:00:08,760
Speaker 5: though she says, I'm well, I folm's got to do it.

1367
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 5: This is so wild.

1368
01:00:10,320 --> 01:00:13,560
Speaker 4: Just when I think you are, but sometimes you're not.

1369
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:17,000
Speaker 5: Sometimes I need you to watch my dog for free. Yeah,

1370
01:00:18,280 --> 01:00:20,680
Speaker 5: when I go out of town. I don't know. I

1371
01:00:20,680 --> 01:00:22,640
Speaker 5: have asked this question to a lot of people, and

1372
01:00:22,680 --> 01:00:24,800
Speaker 5: they also don't know. My sister has told me before

1373
01:00:24,880 --> 01:00:27,720
Speaker 5: that if anything happened to her pets, she knew she

1374
01:00:27,760 --> 01:00:30,680
Speaker 5: could rely on me to handle the situation. But even

1375
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 5: after our argument about the engagement, she has still asked

1376
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:36,600
Speaker 5: me multiple times to petsit for her, including for this month.

1377
01:00:36,840 --> 01:00:39,919
Speaker 5: After our argument earlier this year. They refuse to pay

1378
01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,200
Speaker 5: for my return flight after I was done pet sitting,

1379
01:00:42,320 --> 01:00:44,520
Speaker 5: so I ended up covering it myself. Why are you

1380
01:00:44,560 --> 01:00:47,160
Speaker 5: still pet sitting? Yeah? I don't if they're making you

1381
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:49,920
Speaker 5: pay for the flights to go pets it? Why are

1382
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:53,480
Speaker 5: you pet sitting? My is breaking from a head scratcher.

1383
01:00:53,640 --> 01:00:55,600
Speaker 5: This is a I'm gonna scratch my head because it's

1384
01:00:55,600 --> 01:00:58,320
Speaker 5: the head scratch. I don't understand what is going on.

1385
01:00:58,520 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 5: I don't know if her behavior in this and everything

1386
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 5: else is related to her fiance. I feel like I

1387
01:01:02,760 --> 01:01:04,520
Speaker 5: don't have the whole story, and I'm not sure what's

1388
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:07,320
Speaker 5: going on you and me both sister. A few people

1389
01:01:07,440 --> 01:01:11,640
Speaker 5: irl suggested to me that she didn't read the letter

1390
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:14,440
Speaker 5: I sent her through her fiance. I assume that she

1391
01:01:14,520 --> 01:01:17,480
Speaker 5: did because he responded with we statements, But given everything

1392
01:01:17,520 --> 01:01:20,000
Speaker 5: people have said, I'm not as sure anymore. So I

1393
01:01:20,040 --> 01:01:22,960
Speaker 5: feel torn. If my sister's fiance is harmful and is

1394
01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:25,200
Speaker 5: pulling the strings, then I would agree to have my

1395
01:01:25,240 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 5: sister move into my mother's house, even though I couldn't visit.

1396
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:30,800
Speaker 5: My mother works very long hours and is only home

1397
01:01:30,840 --> 01:01:32,840
Speaker 5: to sleep and shower, but at the very least she

1398
01:01:32,960 --> 01:01:35,840
Speaker 5: might be able to piece morphs together and support my sister.

1399
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,640
Speaker 5: But if my sister is really saying all these things

1400
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:42,200
Speaker 5: and believing all of these things, I really need a

1401
01:01:42,240 --> 01:01:45,400
Speaker 5: break from all of this, because this has been really exhausting.

1402
01:01:45,560 --> 01:01:49,080
Speaker 5: By the way, whenever you're exhausted, you can take a

1403
01:01:49,120 --> 01:01:52,200
Speaker 5: break and listen to full episodes of stories just like this.

1404
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,760
Speaker 5: Just go to Spotify, Apple Podcast, or iHeartRadio and search

1405
01:01:55,760 --> 01:01:57,960
Speaker 5: a bookey story time and there is a little bit

1406
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 5: left to this story. But do you have any coherent

1407
01:02:00,920 --> 01:02:03,960
Speaker 5: thoughts about this? Not a lot of them, Not a

1408
01:02:04,000 --> 01:02:04,480
Speaker 5: lot of them.

1409
01:02:04,520 --> 01:02:07,000
Speaker 6: There's a lot que I feel like if if the

1410
01:02:07,000 --> 01:02:09,840
Speaker 6: fiance is a problem, he's not the only problem. Like,

1411
01:02:10,160 --> 01:02:13,920
Speaker 6: she's definitely got something going on up there, but I

1412
01:02:13,960 --> 01:02:16,640
Speaker 6: don't know. The fact that there hasn't been like a

1413
01:02:16,640 --> 01:02:20,640
Speaker 6: lot of direct communication with the fiance though, really bugs me.

1414
01:02:20,880 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 5: And the fact that the girlfriend's just.

1415
01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:25,400
Speaker 1: Like, like, you shouldn't, yeah, you know what I mean.

1416
01:02:25,520 --> 01:02:28,880
Speaker 5: Her fiance is a problem in the same way that

1417
01:02:29,000 --> 01:02:32,600
Speaker 5: like a Nigerian prince scam is a problem to someone

1418
01:02:32,640 --> 01:02:36,320
Speaker 5: who won't stop giving them money. Yeah, it's like you

1419
01:02:36,360 --> 01:02:40,080
Speaker 5: are giving them money. Yeah. And they also in this scenario,

1420
01:02:40,160 --> 01:02:41,280
Speaker 5: they know it's a scam too.

1421
01:02:41,720 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, they're like, yeah.

1422
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:46,040
Speaker 6: I know, but I had to do but he needs

1423
01:02:46,040 --> 01:02:47,520
Speaker 6: my house's ouse.

1424
01:02:47,680 --> 01:02:47,880
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1425
01:02:47,920 --> 01:02:50,080
Speaker 5: But I also think that mom is the problem too.

1426
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:53,160
Speaker 5: Yeah she she I mean, actually, maybe you know what,

1427
01:02:53,320 --> 01:02:57,680
Speaker 5: maybe the mom knows it's a scam, but she really Yeah,

1428
01:02:57,880 --> 01:03:00,640
Speaker 5: a couple is the Nigerian Prince scam. The mom is

1429
01:03:00,680 --> 01:03:02,680
Speaker 5: the person getting scammed it.

1430
01:03:02,800 --> 01:03:05,160
Speaker 6: Just like the mom feels like the kind of rich

1431
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:07,240
Speaker 6: parent that's just like, oh, like you have to really

1432
01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:10,560
Speaker 6: be gentle, like you can't use any harsh language or anything.

1433
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,120
Speaker 5: She won't talk to me, Yeah, because like you can't.

1434
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:14,480
Speaker 5: You can't treat children like that.

1435
01:03:14,560 --> 01:03:16,520
Speaker 6: But then it's like, okay, well you gotta you gotta

1436
01:03:16,560 --> 01:03:19,400
Speaker 6: be a little stir and sometimes and like raise your kid,

1437
01:03:19,800 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 6: you know, because clearly its.

1438
01:03:22,040 --> 01:03:23,600
Speaker 5: Yeah, clearly I did a bad job.

1439
01:03:23,720 --> 01:03:23,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1440
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:27,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's just like everyone is so wild. I think

1441
01:03:27,720 --> 01:03:31,000
Speaker 5: the op you have to move countries. Just get away,

1442
01:03:31,120 --> 01:03:33,479
Speaker 5: run away, please run away. There's a little bit more

1443
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,920
Speaker 5: to the story. Let's try to get through it. Thank

1444
01:03:35,960 --> 01:03:38,240
Speaker 5: you again to everyone who read my post and offered

1445
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 5: their perspective. All of this feels insane to me, and

1446
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:43,200
Speaker 5: I sometimes feel like I'm growing crazy, so it's been

1447
01:03:43,240 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 5: reassuring to hear people say the same. I appreciate everyone

1448
01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,320
Speaker 5: who reached out to ask if I'm okay, and I am.

1449
01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:49,840
Speaker 5: At the end of the day, I have my own

1450
01:03:49,880 --> 01:03:52,200
Speaker 5: life and job far away from my sister. I've been

1451
01:03:52,240 --> 01:03:54,520
Speaker 5: going to therapy for almost half my life now, and

1452
01:03:54,560 --> 01:03:56,720
Speaker 5: i have a really good support system with my friends,

1453
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:59,960
Speaker 5: so I'm very grateful. Well, good, you got to hear that. Yeah,

1454
01:04:00,160 --> 01:04:02,680
Speaker 5: I don't think I'll post again after this regardless of

1455
01:04:02,720 --> 01:04:05,080
Speaker 5: what happens. Thank you again for taking the time to

1456
01:04:05,120 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 5: read and or respond. I really appreciate it. And that's

1457
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:11,440
Speaker 5: the end of the story. Wow yeah, wow wow wow wow.

1458
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:17,480
Speaker 7: Yeah, raise your hand in the chat if you are

1459
01:04:18,000 --> 01:04:20,280
Speaker 7: if you get it, if you get it.

1460
01:04:20,240 --> 01:04:21,760
Speaker 3: It was a tough one to keep up with.

1461
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,160
Speaker 1: I don't I get it.

1462
01:04:23,280 --> 01:04:27,040
Speaker 5: But the thing is that it would have comprehension of

1463
01:04:27,080 --> 01:04:29,520
Speaker 5: the story. Yeah. None of the people in the story

1464
01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:32,200
Speaker 5: makes sense. You know, it's like the story makes sense.

1465
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:35,960
Speaker 5: People are nonsense. It feels like a dream.

1466
01:04:36,040 --> 01:04:37,560
Speaker 6: It feels like I woke up from a dream and

1467
01:04:37,600 --> 01:04:40,040
Speaker 6: I'm like, Riley, you got to hear about this crazy dream.

1468
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:41,080
Speaker 1: I just had, you know, like.

1469
01:04:41,040 --> 01:04:44,640
Speaker 4: A two voice memos that the transcript, so I'll just

1470
01:04:44,640 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 4: look at the transfer.

1471
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:51,280
Speaker 5: Yeah exactly. The transcript's like kind of like mistranslated. It

1472
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:55,000
Speaker 5: still doesn't make sense. The sister's doctor was.

1473
01:04:55,680 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is just wow wow wow wow

1474
01:05:03,880 --> 01:05:04,480
Speaker 6: wow wow.

1475
01:05:04,680 --> 01:05:07,000
Speaker 5: I think you have to limit contact with your family. Op.

1476
01:05:07,280 --> 01:05:10,240
Speaker 5: That would be my advice. Yeah, but that's the end

1477
01:05:10,280 --> 01:05:13,360
Speaker 5: of that story. Everyone, let's get that. Okay, it's the

1478
01:05:13,520 --> 01:05:13,680
Speaker 5: end