1 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha and welcome to stuff 2 00:00:08,039 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: I've never told you production of I Heart Radio. So 3 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:22,720 Speaker 1: for today's Benny, I wanted to start out with a 4 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:28,520 Speaker 1: question for you, Samantha. Okay, how did you start this pandemic? 5 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:33,120 Speaker 1: Because I know it was you. Oh yeah, specifically me. Yeah, absolutely, 6 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:38,240 Speaker 1: I would say by traveling to l A h. And 7 00:00:38,320 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 1: it just exists, of course, right, inevitably, Inevitably, that's how 8 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:51,800 Speaker 1: it goes. Well, mine is my New Year's resolution was 9 00:00:52,840 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 1: to run less, to stay in more, to eat more, 10 00:01:00,720 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 1: and to drink less. So I feel like I have 11 00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:10,560 Speaker 1: the universe heard me and said, okay, be careful what 12 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:14,200 Speaker 1: you wish for. That's only one way we can do this. Yes, 13 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:19,440 Speaker 1: total shut down of the entire world. Yes, I'm not 14 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 1: saying I'm succeeding in all of those things. And it's 15 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:29,399 Speaker 1: just a funny. Almost the week before quarantine started, my 16 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:31,960 Speaker 1: therapist told me you need to stay in more, and 17 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: I was like, I'll try right, Um, thanks so much. 18 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: This is something I've noticed. Everybody has that kind of 19 00:01:41,840 --> 00:01:45,520 Speaker 1: thing where they feel like, oh, remember when I said 20 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,200 Speaker 1: I was going to go to movies more. That's why 21 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:51,480 Speaker 1: this pandemic is happening. UM, and it's sort of a joke, 22 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: but we did want to talk today about UM guilt 23 00:01:55,280 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: around COVID nineteen and quarantining and pandemic because is this 24 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,000 Speaker 1: is something I have been struggling with a lot lately, 25 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: and I know a lot of my friends have UM. 26 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:08,880 Speaker 1: And we've done episodes on women and guilt before and 27 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 1: how women are so ready to take on the blame. Uh, 28 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:19,519 Speaker 1: I am experiencing it so hardcore. Trigger warning before we 29 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:23,639 Speaker 1: get into this. Some talk of illness and death, UM, 30 00:02:23,680 --> 00:02:27,240 Speaker 1: but not not much, nothing graphic or anything. And uh, 31 00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:30,880 Speaker 1: I just want to say this one's pretty conversational, but 32 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:33,640 Speaker 1: I did when I was kind of looking into what 33 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,919 Speaker 1: other people were saying about this. The c d C 34 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:40,400 Speaker 1: has even written about it and said quote, As it 35 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:45,600 Speaker 1: turns out, coronavirus guilt is a quote common reaction mm hmm. 36 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:57,679 Speaker 1: So not just me. So yeah, and my and my experience. UM, 37 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: I've almost been hamstrung by guilt lately. I can't order 38 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,800 Speaker 1: delivery because I feel too guilty about that. I can't 39 00:03:06,919 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 1: order groceries because I feel too guilty about that. UM anything. 40 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: I don't get anything from Amazon, like I just overcome UM. 41 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,400 Speaker 1: I can't go outside. People keep telling me you or 42 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: somebody needs to go outside. This is one of your 43 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,919 Speaker 1: coping mechanisms, you need to go outside. I can't do it. 44 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:31,359 Speaker 1: It's I'm just so wrapped up in it. Um Right. 45 00:03:31,400 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: I think a lot of people feel that same way. 46 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:36,520 Speaker 1: It definitely understand that level, especially because we want to 47 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: be supportive and don't want to be a part of 48 00:03:39,160 --> 00:03:44,520 Speaker 1: the growing abuse that has been happening, whether it's to 49 00:03:44,560 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: our essential workers or two people who are working for 50 00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:52,160 Speaker 1: companies that don't give a crap essentially about them, it seems. 51 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:54,600 Speaker 1: But yeah, I do the opposite of like, instead of 52 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:58,960 Speaker 1: not doing it, I overcompensate. So I will be the 53 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: one that, uh, if I order from a restaurant from 54 00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:05,000 Speaker 1: a delivery service, I will call them. I will find 55 00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:10,120 Speaker 1: out who they are and send them cash directly because 56 00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:13,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, I can't get it delivered in to the otherwise. Um. 57 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,679 Speaker 1: And then like, I will also compensate the delivery driver 58 00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,160 Speaker 1: extra because I'm like, I'm a dick who decided I 59 00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:23,479 Speaker 1: needed food to be delivered to me. Um. But yeah, 60 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: I definitely am with that because I'm like, how do 61 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,760 Speaker 1: I make sure that I am taking care of everyone 62 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:31,680 Speaker 1: because I am okay and I shouldn't be. And if 63 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: I am, then I am responsible for those who are 64 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,880 Speaker 1: not okay. Right. And that's another aspect that I know 65 00:04:39,080 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 1: we and some of our coworkers have talked about, is 66 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:46,080 Speaker 1: that people who are fortunate enough to still have jobs, 67 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:49,440 Speaker 1: there's sort of a survivor's guilt. That's not exactly what 68 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:54,000 Speaker 1: it is, but it's very similar. UM around that, and 69 00:04:54,080 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: around having a job that is safe, like we can 70 00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: do our job from home so we don't have to 71 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: risk ourselves and people we care about to keep working. Um, 72 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:10,120 Speaker 1: and I do want to stay here. Guilt can be 73 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,640 Speaker 1: a really healthy thing and we're going to talk about 74 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:16,200 Speaker 1: that more later. Uh. And and it can inspire you 75 00:05:16,240 --> 00:05:17,760 Speaker 1: like to take care of other people and to look 76 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 1: out for other people. It's when it sort of gets 77 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: out of hand that it becomes a bad thing. And 78 00:05:23,160 --> 00:05:26,600 Speaker 1: with guilt, and this is sort of a tricky thing, 79 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,880 Speaker 1: but you should definitely always check your privilege. Remember your privilege. 80 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:37,680 Speaker 1: Don't make people feel bad for your guilt. But it 81 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:40,719 Speaker 1: is okay to feel to feel these feelings and to 82 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:45,480 Speaker 1: acknowledge them, except them and hopefully move on from there. 83 00:05:45,520 --> 00:05:49,960 Speaker 1: But easier said than done perhaps, um. And then there 84 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:53,800 Speaker 1: are a lot of other guilts that that people are experiencing. 85 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,159 Speaker 1: Guilt at not being there for family. For instance, I'm 86 00:05:57,240 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: certainly have that around my mom um and not being 87 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:07,000 Speaker 1: able to be there for her because, as listeners know, 88 00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:13,440 Speaker 1: had kind of a rough time lately. Um, So that's hard, 89 00:06:14,520 --> 00:06:17,719 Speaker 1: not being as emotionally available. I haven't really experienced this, 90 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:19,039 Speaker 1: but I have a lot of friends who say that 91 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,480 Speaker 1: they have that They feel really bad that they know 92 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,880 Speaker 1: that they have friends who need help or the family 93 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,240 Speaker 1: that need help, but they can't they don't have the 94 00:06:27,360 --> 00:06:32,120 Speaker 1: energy or reserves to do it. Um. For parents, there's 95 00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:35,920 Speaker 1: a whole of the world of guilt, guilt at letting 96 00:06:35,920 --> 00:06:38,159 Speaker 1: their children watch too much TV, or not being a 97 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: good homeschooler for this thing you're never trained to do, 98 00:06:41,520 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 1: not being a good um baby just because we already 99 00:06:47,720 --> 00:06:48,960 Speaker 1: we've talked about that all the time too. They are 100 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 1: all these expectations on parents, especially mothers, yes, and not 101 00:06:54,279 --> 00:06:56,680 Speaker 1: being able to to live up to those in a 102 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: way that society has told you perhaps that you should 103 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,440 Speaker 1: mean a super mom means you can handle this stress. Yes, 104 00:07:04,760 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: you're born for it, correct, Yes, Yes, vary correct um. 105 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: And then I read accounts of people who feel really 106 00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:18,160 Speaker 1: guilty for passing the virus onto loved ones, are are 107 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,200 Speaker 1: not being able to be with sick to loved ones, 108 00:07:20,520 --> 00:07:24,880 Speaker 1: or not being able to attend the funeral. Um. I've 109 00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:29,360 Speaker 1: already had a few experiences with this already, and it's 110 00:07:29,400 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: it is awful. It's heart wrenching when you're having to 111 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: make these calculations of how can I hurt the least 112 00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:42,000 Speaker 1: amount of people in this very sad situation, and where 113 00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:45,560 Speaker 1: you know that's already tough. Grief is already tough. You 114 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: want to be there for someone if they're asking you 115 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,480 Speaker 1: to be there for them, but then you know that 116 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 1: being there could make things worse. Um, So there's all 117 00:07:57,480 --> 00:08:02,680 Speaker 1: that guilt around that. And then I've had guilt around lately. 118 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,520 Speaker 1: I have had a lot of friends reached out to 119 00:08:04,520 --> 00:08:08,120 Speaker 1: me and just feeling very very hopeless. It's hard to 120 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,280 Speaker 1: know what to say in those situations. Um, I'm sort 121 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: of a goofball and I'll tell you jokes are all 122 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,360 Speaker 1: try to distract you or or something like that. But 123 00:08:17,400 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: I don't have any concrete thing that doesn't sound trite 124 00:08:21,480 --> 00:08:22,960 Speaker 1: or that I know they don't want to hear if 125 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:27,600 Speaker 1: that makes sense, right, So I just try to listen. 126 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:34,119 Speaker 1: And then when you have something like an eating disorder, 127 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 1: or if you struggle with low self worth like I do, 128 00:08:38,040 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 1: I've noticed it becomes really vicious cycle because you don't 129 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:43,360 Speaker 1: want to take care of yourself anyway. You don't think 130 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:47,880 Speaker 1: you're worth it anyway. And so if if someone's telling 131 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:51,880 Speaker 1: me by not going out, I could potentially be saving 132 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:54,000 Speaker 1: someone's lives, and Okay, yes I'm not going to go out, 133 00:08:54,160 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 1: and absolutely I'm not gonna order any food. And I 134 00:08:56,800 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: have an eating disorder, so I didn't want to do 135 00:08:58,320 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: that anyway. And to have that constant battle of trying 136 00:09:04,480 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 1: to convince yourself you are worth you have value when 137 00:09:08,880 --> 00:09:11,679 Speaker 1: you just don't, and you have to face it every 138 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 1: day with small decisions you didn't used have to face 139 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:18,960 Speaker 1: it before. It's exhausting, um and it's really bad for 140 00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,679 Speaker 1: your mental health. And we've seen that come out more 141 00:09:20,679 --> 00:09:23,040 Speaker 1: and more recently with experts saying this is a mental 142 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:28,000 Speaker 1: health crisis, which makes sense. And I know a lot 143 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,280 Speaker 1: of people are struggling with it, but I have noticed 144 00:09:31,320 --> 00:09:36,720 Speaker 1: it's not all bad, Samantha. There are silver lines. One 145 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 1: one is I feel I do feel less guilt then 146 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,160 Speaker 1: I used to about what I would have once called 147 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:50,160 Speaker 1: frivolous activities are not being as productive um, which is 148 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 1: you know, that's good, that's good that I can write 149 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:56,560 Speaker 1: my fan fiction and I am able to say this 150 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,000 Speaker 1: is this is self care and this is better than 151 00:09:59,080 --> 00:10:02,240 Speaker 1: other things that you can would be doing right, And 152 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: I think that's the absolute truth. And overall, just kind 153 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:09,840 Speaker 1: of going back about UM being in the cycle of 154 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: not being able to care for yourself because you feel guilty. 155 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,200 Speaker 1: If you care for yourself too much, then you're being 156 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,520 Speaker 1: I'm guessing selfish. That would be the term, which again 157 00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,160 Speaker 1: is a lie. Uh when we all talk about and 158 00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,960 Speaker 1: I'm really glad that we'll be talking about this soon. 159 00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: We read the book Untamed, because that is one of 160 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:31,319 Speaker 1: the things that she struggled with, obviously Glenn and Doyle, 161 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:35,400 Speaker 1: who is the writer, but just an overall self understanding 162 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 1: is if you don't care for yourself, you can't care 163 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 1: for others. And that's just it's just an automatic thing. 164 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,080 Speaker 1: If you're not able to admit you need help, and 165 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:48,800 Speaker 1: help could be actually caring for yourself, then you're not 166 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,679 Speaker 1: going to be able to assist others. And that's probably 167 00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:55,959 Speaker 1: why you have a hard time being emotionally available, because 168 00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,120 Speaker 1: if you can't do that for yourself, how are you 169 00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,640 Speaker 1: able to do that for others? And nderstand, it's not 170 00:11:00,679 --> 00:11:03,840 Speaker 1: something that you automatically know. It's something that you have 171 00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:07,000 Speaker 1: to learn, and what that looks like for you is 172 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,280 Speaker 1: different for everybody else, and that's okay too. And a 173 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:14,240 Speaker 1: part of that release and a part of that understanding 174 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 1: of yourself is knowing that this is a weakness and 175 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 1: that's okay too. Yeah, all right, because guilt is totally 176 00:11:23,160 --> 00:11:27,640 Speaker 1: normal during times of stress and can be healthy, but 177 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,600 Speaker 1: it can spiral and get out of hand very quickly, 178 00:11:30,679 --> 00:11:34,600 Speaker 1: especially for someone who may be empathetic, overly empathetic, um, 179 00:11:34,600 --> 00:11:40,520 Speaker 1: overly conscientious, and especially likes to be distracted. Right, So 180 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 1: the experts say to acknowledge the guilt and to label 181 00:11:43,559 --> 00:11:45,839 Speaker 1: it and then accept it and it is what it is. 182 00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:49,440 Speaker 1: I know people hate that phrase, but for this instance, 183 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:52,640 Speaker 1: it is. It is exactly how it Maybe you call 184 00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: it out, you accept it, and you keep going. That's 185 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: how it goes. Um to try to reframe how you 186 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: think and be aware of any potential unhealthy behavior you're doing. 187 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,720 Speaker 1: To relieve it again. You know your weaknesses, you know 188 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,000 Speaker 1: your triggers. Hopefully, if not, that's something you need to 189 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:14,319 Speaker 1: work on. UM watch yourself talk show Compassion to Yourself, 190 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: And I think it's really really really important right now. UM, 191 00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 1: I had a conversation with friends. We're talking about relationships 192 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,880 Speaker 1: and and everybody's on edge and everybody's arguing about trivial 193 00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: things because everybody's anxiety is heightened. So yes, you're gonna 194 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,440 Speaker 1: notice more and more and more all of your negative 195 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 1: attributes as well as other people's negative attributes. It just happens. 196 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,720 Speaker 1: It's gonna happen, especially when we're stressed. That's what we do, 197 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,560 Speaker 1: that's what we turn to. UM. But yeah, one of 198 00:12:46,600 --> 00:12:49,160 Speaker 1: the things that you have to start thinking about when 199 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: you're talking about these issues. And just like for you 200 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: any you have a therapist, which is phenomenal, UM, but 201 00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: you also have an outlet with the show because you 202 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: can kind of think of and for me to child 203 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:02,880 Speaker 1: guess we have an outlet in the show, would be like, 204 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,840 Speaker 1: this is what I'm thinking about, let's talk about it. 205 00:13:05,280 --> 00:13:08,120 Speaker 1: And that's that's called labeling it. That is labeling it. 206 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:12,360 Speaker 1: And I think once we as individuals figure that out 207 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,599 Speaker 1: for ourselves what does this look like? Being able to 208 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,880 Speaker 1: label it and may be able to talk about it, 209 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,439 Speaker 1: and may be able to write about it. It may 210 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:22,160 Speaker 1: be able to like compare it to whatever situations that 211 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 1: you see in books and entertainment, something that helps you 212 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: delve into those anxieties, that label of guilt. Why what isn't? 213 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:35,560 Speaker 1: How do we break it down? Right? And that is 214 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 1: another thing that has been really difficult for me, but 215 00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:42,839 Speaker 1: I think ultimately it's really healthy. One thing, um is, 216 00:13:42,880 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: I've gotten a lot more conscientious about why are you 217 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:48,400 Speaker 1: thinking this horrible thing about yourself right now? Like? What 218 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:51,000 Speaker 1: is it? And even if it's just for two to 219 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,320 Speaker 1: three seconds, if I can okay, this is not a 220 00:13:54,360 --> 00:14:01,160 Speaker 1: helpful thought, why is it there? And so that overall, 221 00:14:01,200 --> 00:14:04,120 Speaker 1: I have seen a lot of progress, honestly, And I 222 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:08,080 Speaker 1: don't know that obviously I would not have wanted this 223 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,400 Speaker 1: to happen, But I don't know if I hadn't been 224 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:13,400 Speaker 1: trapped in my apartment that it would have. I would 225 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,679 Speaker 1: have always found some other distraction or some other thing 226 00:14:16,720 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: to do until it became a priority. Right that the 227 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,320 Speaker 1: trying to show compassion and I'll try to and I 228 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,440 Speaker 1: know we've all heard this advice before, but try to 229 00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:27,560 Speaker 1: think of yourself as a friend. Would you ever say 230 00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 1: that to a friend? Um, So I've tried to monitor 231 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: that and and I'm making strides. You are again, this 232 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,560 Speaker 1: is something that you've been struggling with and you're like, 233 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: I need to talk this out. Like, yes, You're not 234 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: the only one. We all have a different level of 235 00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:46,720 Speaker 1: guilt and we handle it very differently, we acknowledge it 236 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: very differently. And I love that, and I think that's 237 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: the point of any conversation. And hopefully listeners will agree, 238 00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:58,000 Speaker 1: and hopefully they'll let us know how they're handling their girl, 239 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,200 Speaker 1: because we want to know how are you handled it? 240 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,120 Speaker 1: And you're most likely what you're doing. If it's working 241 00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 1: for you, you can work for others. So we need that. Yes, yes, 242 00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,480 Speaker 1: if you would like to send that info to us, 243 00:15:09,520 --> 00:15:12,600 Speaker 1: we would love to get it. Our email is Stuff Media, 244 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:14,640 Speaker 1: mom Stuff at I hurt media dot com. You can 245 00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:16,600 Speaker 1: find us on Instagram at Stuff I've Never Told You 246 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 1: and on Twitter at mom Stuff Podcast. Thanks as always 247 00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 1: to our super producers Andrew Howard and J. J. Paswick. 248 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,960 Speaker 1: Thanks and thanks to you for listening. Stuff I've never 249 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: told you the protection of iHeart Radio. For more podcasts 250 00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:30,840 Speaker 1: from my iHeart Radio is the Ihear Radio app, Apple podcast, 251 00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:32,640 Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.