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Speaker 1: all enjoyed this week's episode and until next time later, Welcome.

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Speaker 1: You are now listening to the Professional Oh hey, Professional

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Speaker 1: home Girls and it's your girl Evan from the PSD podcast,

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Speaker 1: the only place where you would hear interviews from women

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Speaker 1: and honestly on stories that were enlightened and expand on

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Speaker 1: taboo topics. Now, if you hear someone that sounds familiar,

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Speaker 1: mind ABIs to page you child. If you like the

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Speaker 1: Please five star reviews only hold me down, don't hold

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Speaker 1: me up. You can connect with me on Instagram at

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Speaker 1: the Professional home Girl, at the PSC podcast, and last

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Speaker 1: not least at and a Beauty. If you're all caught

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Speaker 1: patreon dot com. Forward slash the PSD podcast. Now, please

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Speaker 1: keep in mind that all of my guests aren't honest.

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Speaker 1: So let's begin this week's episode. All right, So this

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Speaker 1: episode is dedicated to the listeners questions and will be

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Speaker 1: answered by our in house therapist. If you like your

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Speaker 1: questions to be answered by our in house therapists, please

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Speaker 1: make sure to email us at hello at the PSHD

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Speaker 1: podcast dot com. Or if you want to schedule your

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Speaker 1: own consultation, or if you're looking for a therapist, please

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Speaker 1: make sure to reach out. So to my guests, how

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Speaker 1: are you feeling. I'm feeling great today. Happy to be

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Speaker 1: with you guys. Ready to dive into some of these questions.

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Speaker 1: I know, I'm excited. How has the PANDNE been treating you?

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Speaker 1: It's been really really good. I mean, um, definitely a

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Speaker 1: lot busier during like March two. I think about June um,

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Speaker 1: and now it's kind of trying, um, trickling, trickling, I

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Speaker 1: can't even get my words out, trickling off a little

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Speaker 1: bit um. And I think that that kind of happens

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Speaker 1: in the summer anyway, because the sunshine is out, people

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Speaker 1: are out and about, you know, even during the pandemic.

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Speaker 1: It kind of you know, quarantine was lifted and people

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Speaker 1: go outside. So summertime can be a little slower for

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Speaker 1: some therapist, which is nice because we get to enjoy,

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Speaker 1: but not for you because you've been booked, I know,

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Speaker 1: so I can't get an important with you to the

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Speaker 1: days I really want something to do. The funny thing

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Speaker 1: is like, even though I'm booked, I do get to like,

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Speaker 1: I think, my last week of the month, it's always

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Speaker 1: like my easiest. Um. Usually I'll see like eight clients

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Speaker 1: a day. Um, my last week of a month, I'll

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Speaker 1: probably see like five or six, which gives me like

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Speaker 1: one or two three hours or like a longer lunch break.

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Speaker 1: So that's what I mean when I stay slower. Excuse me, yep.

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Speaker 1: So our first question from one of our listeners, Um,

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Speaker 1: are there times when you feel like you're take in

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Speaker 1: too much and you want to quit your profession or

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Speaker 1: take a break, especially in the climate that we are

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Speaker 1: currently in. Um, I've never had a time that where

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Speaker 1: I felt like I wanted to quit the profession. I

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Speaker 1: love what I do. I don't feel like it's work. UM,

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Speaker 1: I feel like it is my purpose, which is very

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Speaker 1: different from like working a job. Every day, Um, I

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Speaker 1: wake up and I really really enjoyed my clients. And

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Speaker 1: every client is very, very different. Um. You have clients

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Speaker 1: that could be a little bit heavier, um, with things

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Speaker 1: that are happening in their lives. So definitely those you know,

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Speaker 1: those moments, and um, I do feel like, Okay, I

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Speaker 1: gotta really really like, you know, be on my piece

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Speaker 1: and queues and you know, definitely making sure like I

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Speaker 1: get a good night's sleep and things like that are

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Speaker 1: part of my regular regimen. But you also have a

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Speaker 1: lot of clients that are super fun and like you

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Speaker 1: guys laugh a lot like you and I laugh a

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Speaker 1: lot during our sessions. So um, it makes it so

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Speaker 1: much easier, um, to be able to feel like you

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Speaker 1: want to do this work. But again going back to

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Speaker 1: like this is my purpose. I love the work. I

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Speaker 1: love doing it every day and for seven hours a day.

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Speaker 1: There are seven different stories and seven different lives that

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Speaker 1: I'm working with, So it never ever feels the same

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Speaker 1: at all. Has therapy for someone else turned into therapy

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Speaker 1: for yourself while giving advice to your clients? Have you

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Speaker 1: ever had your own aha moments doing sessions? Definitely, I

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Speaker 1: often feel like and I wonder that was a question colleagues.

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Speaker 1: It is a good question, and it's so crazy because

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Speaker 1: I have a couple of colleagues that are also therapists

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Speaker 1: and we laughed up. We left about this UM quite often. UM. Sometimes,

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Speaker 1: like if you're going through something during that week and

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Speaker 1: you you know, process that and really work through it

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Speaker 1: on your own, the next week, your clients will be

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Speaker 1: going through something very similar. So you're like doing this

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Speaker 1: laughing to yourself when you're talking to class, like, I

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Speaker 1: really was going through this like two weeks ago, UM.

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Speaker 1: And of course it's not like not for me, it

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Speaker 1: wouldn't be anything like drug addiction or anything like that.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes you'll have like a friendship, you know, disagreement,

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Speaker 1: or you'll have a relationship you know disagreement or something

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Speaker 1: like that with your partner, and then your clients will

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Speaker 1: be dealing with it. So when you're talking to them,

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Speaker 1: you're like, uh huh, same advice that I gotta take

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Speaker 1: from myself, or you're giving them the advice from your

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Speaker 1: own processing. You know, the week before. What are you

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Speaker 1: thinking is UM is an effective way to heal from

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Speaker 1: losing a parent at a young age. I mean, I

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Speaker 1: definitely am gonna say therapy first, but I definitely also

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Speaker 1: feel like UM, being surrounded by people that understand that

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Speaker 1: it's a process, UM, and it is a lifetime process.

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Speaker 1: Like I can't speak to losing a parent because I've

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Speaker 1: never lost a parent to death per se um, but

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Speaker 1: I've had a parent that was addicted to jumps and

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Speaker 1: alcohol that was non existent at a point in my

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Speaker 1: life for a very long time. And having people that

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Speaker 1: that I'm surrounded by that understand that that can also

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Speaker 1: give me good advice. UM. I think more importantly if

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Speaker 1: you are speaking a therapist, like understanding why this happened,

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Speaker 1: or if you can't understand why, like creating some some

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Speaker 1: reason in your mind. So if you had a parent,

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Speaker 1: for example, that passed away from like cancer or something

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Speaker 1: like that, maybe your reason why, in a sense of relief,

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Speaker 1: can be you know, least my parent is not suffering anymore,

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Speaker 1: and that feels better than them being here. UM. Having

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Speaker 1: that kind of like, UM, I think reason can help

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Speaker 1: you to start to heal from that. UM. But also

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Speaker 1: ultimately knowing that you know, grief is the process, and

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Speaker 1: you know, today I might feel really really good, tomorrow

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Speaker 1: I might be back to square one. It's a process.

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Speaker 1: And there is no real time frames within each of

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Speaker 1: those stages that you hit. Mm hmm uh. What would

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Speaker 1: you say it is the right time to go on

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Speaker 1: medication for anxiety or depression? How do you know which

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Speaker 1: moon stabilizer is the best? So I don't give out medications, UM,

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Speaker 1: but I do work with clients in a very holistic

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Speaker 1: way UM as a therapist. If I've had someone that

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Speaker 1: came to me that have or or let me say when,

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Speaker 1: because I often deal with clients that have anxiety. That's

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Speaker 1: really like the bulk of my clientele. But when it

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Speaker 1: come to me, I do like do an assessment based

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Speaker 1: on like nutrition, based on sweet patterns. UM. I do CBT,

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Speaker 1: which is cognitive behavioral therapy, and that is really evaluating

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Speaker 1: what are the thoughts that are coming up that's creating

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Speaker 1: the anxiety. So with that client, I will actually work

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Speaker 1: on providing them some tools to be able to work

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Speaker 1: through the anxiety, which are breathing techniques, UM, grasping what

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Speaker 1: that thought is that's creating like that unhealthy UM pattern

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Speaker 1: of behavior, which the unhealthy side of that would be

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Speaker 1: the extreme anxiety UM. And also like you know, just

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Speaker 1: having that CBT cognitive behavioral therapy weekly or bi weekly,

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Speaker 1: so that we can really see whether or not you're

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Speaker 1: getting better with these things. Um. If a client is

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Speaker 1: not getting better and they're just like, I'm still having

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Speaker 1: this major anxiety. The tricky part is sometimes clients will say,

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Speaker 1: I still have this anxiety. It's not going anywhere. And

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Speaker 1: as a therapist, I'm like, Okay, have you tried the

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Speaker 1: tools that we've been working on? And sometimes clients will say,

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Speaker 1: why did try it? Like for two days and you

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Speaker 1: know it was getting good, but then you know, when

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Speaker 1: I felt better, I stopped. So here lies the problem. Right.

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Speaker 1: If this was working, then you can continue to do

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Speaker 1: this and it works. But let's say a client is like, UM,

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm trying all the tools. I'm doing everything

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Speaker 1: that you're talking about. You know, I'm monitoring my nutrition

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Speaker 1: and things like that, and they're still having the anxiety.

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Speaker 1: I will probably recommend that they see a psychiatrist um

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Speaker 1: and get like a very low dosage of something. Mm hmmm, Um,

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Speaker 1: what are some advice you would give to those that

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Speaker 1: are having a hard time navigating through I have not

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Speaker 1: been able to grasp the fact that Kobe is no

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Speaker 1: longer with us. Now we are in a pandemic, the

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Speaker 1: mardin day Lynch and the black people and now chat

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Speaker 1: with what do you recommend because at this point I

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Speaker 1: am afraid of us to come in. I think one

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Speaker 1: focusing on like what has already happened, um, instead of

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Speaker 1: like looking for you know, and I'm not I hate

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Speaker 1: to say looking forward too, but you know, preparing yourself

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Speaker 1: for what's gonna calm um. Definitely like being around people

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Speaker 1: that are um like minded, right, Like you guys share

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Speaker 1: very similar beliefs. You all are trying to help each

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Speaker 1: other through this process. So whether that be you know,

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Speaker 1: you guys hang out with each other, you do a

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Speaker 1: lot of talks, you know, having panels that you you know,

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Speaker 1: visit through zoom because that's what everybody's doing right now.

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Speaker 1: Where you can be around people that are talking about

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Speaker 1: what's happening. I think getting involved in some of the work, um,

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Speaker 1: you know, behind some of these things that have happened

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Speaker 1: in So whether that be you know, donating or putting

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Speaker 1: together your own panels so you can feel like you're

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Speaker 1: doing something about it. Um. I also feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: making sure that you create a regiment to help yourself

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Speaker 1: feel better too. So if that's morning things that you do,

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Speaker 1: if that's evening things you do, you know, helping yourself

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Speaker 1: to be around positive energy, and this will help you

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Speaker 1: get through. The major thing I say to people is,

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Speaker 1: you know, we can really sit in these thoughts about,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, what's gonna happen next? But it's kind

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Speaker 1: of like that old thing that our old grandparents used

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Speaker 1: to say, like never ever asked, how can it be worse?

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Speaker 1: It can always get worse. And I don't want to

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Speaker 1: keep saying to myself every morning, like, Oh, what's gonna

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Speaker 1: happen today? Is another black man's gonna be shot today?

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Speaker 1: You know, all these things can be inevitable, they can happen,

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Speaker 1: but I don't want to focus on that every single

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Speaker 1: morning and expecting that it's going to happen. Um. I

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Speaker 1: want to be able to work through what has happened

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Speaker 1: thus far, and then when other things come up. You

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Speaker 1: some of these tools that I already know that can

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Speaker 1: work for me, getting involved, you know, creating a community

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Speaker 1: of people around me, creating my own regimen, helping out

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Speaker 1: in my community. All these things will really help me

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Speaker 1: to process and get through this year and the things

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Speaker 1: that will come in my entire life. Yeah, because this

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Speaker 1: has been a really tough year. I think to like,

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Speaker 1: you know, as a side note, like one of the things.

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Speaker 1: And I know that I've seen so many people like

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Speaker 1: post online like you know, some people are like, I

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Speaker 1: just need a break from you know this, I need

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Speaker 1: a break from that. You know, we can't take a

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Speaker 1: break as black people, right because this happens on a

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Speaker 1: regular basis that we see it. I have a black son,

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Speaker 1: black uncle, the black fiance, like all of this, you know,

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Speaker 1: is very inevitable in my life, you know, some of

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Speaker 1: these things that come up. But there are times that

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Speaker 1: I do need a break from media, right, social media TV. Um,

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Speaker 1: I wake up on my iPhone already to news is

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Speaker 1: there about Donald Trump and all these things. So I

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Speaker 1: really try to monitor like what time I get on

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Speaker 1: my phone in the mornings. Um, And it's definitely not

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Speaker 1: gonna be before I say my prayers or before I

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Speaker 1: do my morning meditation, or even before I have coffee.

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Speaker 1: You know, some people have got gotten accustomed to having

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Speaker 1: their coffee and watching the news. Sometimes it's not beneficial,

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Speaker 1: especially in this climate, giving yourself some time to like

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Speaker 1: prepare yourself for good day so that when you receive

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Speaker 1: this information because you're gonna see it anyway. You don't

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Speaker 1: digest it so much that it like ruins your entire day,

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Speaker 1: but you go at it with like, Okay, so this

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Speaker 1: has happened, and how am I going to help? How

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Speaker 1: am I gonna support? You know? How am I gonna

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Speaker 1: reach out to my community and start really like pick

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Speaker 1: it in and things like that, as opposed to like

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Speaker 1: just having it there in my spirit? And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, traumatized and can't move and can't do anything.

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Speaker 1: I agree. I think that when um, when they announced

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Speaker 1: that Chadwick cap had transition, I just got off on

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Speaker 1: Instagram social media. I didn't want to see nothing because

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Speaker 1: it was like everybody was posting. It was just too much. Yep.

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Speaker 1: And that's what happens, right, Everybody starts posting and before

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Speaker 1: you know it, your your your whole threat of everything

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Speaker 1: is like swarmed with it and you're just in this

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Speaker 1: like dark place. And of course we don't want to

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Speaker 1: like be numb to it, right because then we can't

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Speaker 1: do anything about it. But if I am gonna receive this,

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Speaker 1: I want to receive it in a way that it

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Speaker 1: motivates me to get out being help support, you know,

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Speaker 1: comfort my friends, be with my family, be within my community,

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Speaker 1: you know, to make things better. Right, Um, what are

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Speaker 1: some advice on handling negative thoughts? Then they turned suicidal?

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Speaker 1: So I think if you are having thoughts that are

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Speaker 1: so negative that they become suicidal, definitely talk to someone.

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Speaker 1: Find someone. It doesn't have to be a therapist, right

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Speaker 1: because sometimes find a therapist. Get into a therapist, you know,

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Speaker 1: with their schedules being you know, books and stuff, especially

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Speaker 1: during now during a pandemic, it might take you a

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Speaker 1: long time, but probably reaching out to like one of

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Speaker 1: your best friends, you know. The thing that people tend

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Speaker 1: to do, and I found this just in time throughout

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Speaker 1: my career is that they withdraw and they distance themselves

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Speaker 1: because they feel like, oh, people don't want to hear this.

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Speaker 1: But it is actually the time that people want to

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Speaker 1: show up. Feel right, They do want to hear it.

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Speaker 1: They want to be able to support you. So instead

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Speaker 1: of you feeling like I'm just gonna pull away and

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Speaker 1: like try to deal with this on my own, or

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Speaker 1: you know, I'm just not even gonna talk about it,

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Speaker 1: talk about it. The people who post it online and

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Speaker 1: I've seen I used to work with teenagers. You know,

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Speaker 1: they would post one on like I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: having these dark folds, I feel suicidal, and their page

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Speaker 1: it would be swarmed with all these like beautiful thoughts,

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Speaker 1: you know, people reaching out to them, someone calling them,

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Speaker 1: someone calling your family member to say this is what

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Speaker 1: I just saw, and people like showing up to your house.

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Speaker 1: So I would say, you know, definitely talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Go against you know, your first thought, which is to

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Speaker 1: you know, distans yourself from people, because then you're just

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Speaker 1: in your own thoughts. And the more you're in your

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Speaker 1: own thoughts is the worst thing seem in your life. Um,

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Speaker 1: and it feels very, very hopeless, and then before you

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Speaker 1: know it, you're in a place that you can't come

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Speaker 1: back from. My friend and I go to the same therapist,

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Speaker 1: and I'm a little nervous by sharing my therapist for her.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what I thought that was funny? How

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Speaker 1: would I How would I know if my therapist is

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Speaker 1: keeping everything I say about my friend confidential? Um? So

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Speaker 1: this I feel like this is about two things. So

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Speaker 1: one is she keeping my friends information confidential? The other

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Speaker 1: one is she keeping my information confidential from my friend?

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Speaker 1: So we are services are bound by hippolas where we

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Speaker 1: cannot disclose someone's information to another person. UM. So there

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Speaker 1: are oftentimes that I have friends or I have family members,

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Speaker 1: and they know that we all see the same person.

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Speaker 1: I mean, they all see the same person. Um. But

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Speaker 1: if that person mentioned to me, like you know, EX

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Speaker 1: did this to me and you know right, and I

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Speaker 1: would say, honestly, I'm not at liberty to say whether

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Speaker 1: I know that or I don't know that, but you

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Speaker 1: can continue with whatever you're saying. So they'll say, okay.

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Speaker 1: Most people that actually know that you see the same therapists,

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Speaker 1: so they won't even like mention the person's name if

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Speaker 1: they're talking about you. Of course, we're a therapist, you know,

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Speaker 1: we know because we know the intricates of everything that's

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Speaker 1: going on. But we're never going to at least me,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna speak for me. I'm never going to say

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, ever, and they told me, you know that

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Speaker 1: y'all was dealing, I'm not gonna do that one. I'm

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Speaker 1: not helping either one of you, right, I'm causing more

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Speaker 1: conflict in their family too. You know, I'm hurting both

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Speaker 1: of my clients, um, and I am. I mean as

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Speaker 1: much as we are friendly, we're not friends in the

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Speaker 1: room together, so I would you know, I don't want

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Speaker 1: to do that. Second, if you ever decided that you know,

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Speaker 1: I heard something that you said to this person, my

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Speaker 1: license could be taken away from me. And after all

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Speaker 1: these years of schooling and that, No, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: put my license on the line because you told me

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Speaker 1: something about her husband or her boyfriend. It's not worth

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Speaker 1: it to me. It doesn't Ultimately, it doesn't help anybody, right.

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Speaker 1: We're really trying to get to why these things happen

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Speaker 1: and how can we work through them and fix it.

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Speaker 1: I am having a hard time focusing on the things

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Speaker 1: that I want to accomplish. I feel like I can't

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Speaker 1: say no to my friends, and I want to be

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Speaker 1: included in everything that's going on in the streets instead

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Speaker 1: of the things that I need to complete for school

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Speaker 1: or just my life. What can I do to focus better? UM?

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Speaker 1: I think prioritizing, UM, thinking about what are the things

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Speaker 1: that I really really want to get to do. UM.

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Speaker 1: Also think about, like, what are some other things that

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Speaker 1: might be going on in your life at that point

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Speaker 1: that could be creating some procrastination. UM. Maybe ultimately procrastination

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Speaker 1: is the issue, and being able to get some support

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Speaker 1: around how to um do that less um. One of

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Speaker 1: the things that I talked to clients about who come

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Speaker 1: to me with like, you know, I really want to

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Speaker 1: hang out my friends, but I also got this work

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Speaker 1: project us do on Friday. So we'll talk about like

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Speaker 1: is this something that happens in your life often? And

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Speaker 1: usually they're like, yeah, like I see these things that

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Speaker 1: I want to do, and you know, the thing that's

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Speaker 1: work I don't really want to do. I also asked

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Speaker 1: them like do you ever get it done? And they're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I get it done the night before. Okay, So maybe

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Speaker 1: this is just your way of being right. Maybe you're

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Speaker 1: a person that gets things done the last minute. So

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Speaker 1: what I would say to you is you can go

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Speaker 1: and enjoy yourself from Monday to Wednesday, but Wednesday night

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Speaker 1: you'll be in the house doing all of this and

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Speaker 1: not being able to, you know, socialize with any friends

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Speaker 1: outside of that. I would also say, you know, you

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Speaker 1: have to think what's important to you. What is important?

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Speaker 1: So is hanging out with my friends most important and

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Speaker 1: then my job is gonna suffer? Or is keeping my

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Speaker 1: job most important? And I can catch up with my

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Speaker 1: friends later. I would also say, me, Andrea going where

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Speaker 1: a right? Where are you going? But I would also say,

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Speaker 1: if your friends are loving right and you've been a

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Speaker 1: part of this friend group forever, have a conversation with

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Speaker 1: your friends, Like, you know, I noticed that you guys

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Speaker 1: go out Monday to Wednesday and I can't go because

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Speaker 1: I'm working. Maybe we could plan this a different way

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Speaker 1: so that I don't feel so stressed. Right, They're all

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Speaker 1: least options ultimately, like being able to really hone in

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Speaker 1: on what's happening for you. Is it you procrastinating or

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Speaker 1: do you need to have this conversation with your friends

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Speaker 1: or do you lack, like you know, um, time management skills? Right?

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Speaker 1: Do you even know how to manage your time? And

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Speaker 1: if you can't, of course, I'm gonna say see your

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Speaker 1: therapist and have them work with you with this, Like

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Speaker 1: what are you trying to do? Yeah, but I get

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Speaker 1: it right, everybody was getting now. Everybody friends are doing

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Speaker 1: now And you're like, yeah, but I got deadlines at work.

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Speaker 1: We gotta figure out how you could do both or

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Speaker 1: maybe some things you're not gonna be able to make

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Speaker 1: with your friends. But if it's super important. They will

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Speaker 1: make a consensus for you. And last not least, I

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Speaker 1: have been friends with my best friend for over twenty

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Speaker 1: years and we never had any boundaries within our friendship.

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Speaker 1: We always told each other everything. Since she started dating

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Speaker 1: her new boyfriend, which I hooked them up, she has

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00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:19,760
Speaker 1: been moving differently with me and I am noticing that

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00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,639
Speaker 1: she is not invested in our friendship as she once was.

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Speaker 1: What can I do to save our friendship and keep

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Speaker 1: it the same or should I just accept it for

393
00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 1: what it is? So I believe that we should always

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00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:36,520
Speaker 1: talk to people because your friend may not even actually

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00:21:36,560 --> 00:21:40,560
Speaker 1: know that this is happening. Um. The way new relationships work,

396
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,440
Speaker 1: and we all know that people are in this world

397
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Speaker 1: looking for relationships, you know, and when you find that

398
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,800
Speaker 1: person that you feel, you know, really aligned with the

399
00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 1: things that you want, and you guys are loving each

400
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:55,080
Speaker 1: other and loving on each other, you want to spend

401
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:58,720
Speaker 1: so much time around them. So sometimes your friendships, you know,

402
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:02,359
Speaker 1: do take a back for a little bit. Um. But

403
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:05,400
Speaker 1: if your friend doesn't know that this is how you're feeling,

404
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:08,960
Speaker 1: she might feel like you're you just understand that this

405
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,720
Speaker 1: is a new relationship and you know she's gonna get

406
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,480
Speaker 1: back with you when things are different. But I think

407
00:22:14,520 --> 00:22:16,679
Speaker 1: the first thing would be talking to your friend, but

408
00:22:16,760 --> 00:22:20,680
Speaker 1: also knowing that the boundaries or the dynamics and your

409
00:22:20,680 --> 00:22:24,200
Speaker 1: friendship is gonna change because now she has a relationship

410
00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:27,320
Speaker 1: in her life that is as important, right, that could

411
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 1: really nurture and mature into marriage and children and things

412
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:34,040
Speaker 1: like that. So not that you guys won't be friends anymore,

413
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 1: but your friendship will be a little bit different. It

414
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:38,840
Speaker 1: won't look the way that it used to look, which

415
00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,280
Speaker 1: is also okay, right, It's it's the way we grow

416
00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,480
Speaker 1: in life, and you know, relationships grow, and you know,

417
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: we all start to really nurture relationships and move forward.

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Speaker 1: And you think their friendships should have boundaries. Um, I

419
00:22:53,080 --> 00:22:55,919
Speaker 1: can't say if it should. I think a lot of friends,

420
00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 1: especially friends that we meet through trauma and childhood and

421
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:02,399
Speaker 1: things like that, they don't have any boundaries. Right. We

422
00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:06,400
Speaker 1: do everything together, we talk about everything. That's what friendships are,

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00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,439
Speaker 1: right most of the time. I think that they start

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00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:13,080
Speaker 1: to the dynamics of them start to change. I think

425
00:23:13,200 --> 00:23:16,960
Speaker 1: some boundaries that come up for these friendships when there's

426
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: a relationship involved is maybe I don't tell you everything

427
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 1: that's happening in my relationship because as you being a

428
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:26,480
Speaker 1: friend that's so close to me, I don't want you

429
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:29,000
Speaker 1: to look at my significant other in a very different way.

430
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 1: Or I don't want you to feel like you know

431
00:23:31,359 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 1: I may leave or you know I should leave. Like

432
00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:37,640
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes you guys talk about things when you're young,

433
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: like if he said it to me, and if he

434
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: did this to me, I would leave. But when you

435
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: get older and you're in this relationship, sometimes that's not

436
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,919
Speaker 1: your first instinct to do, and people feel afraid that

437
00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: their friends would be like, oh, she's a sellout, right.

438
00:23:50,640 --> 00:23:52,960
Speaker 1: She used to say she would do this, and she doesn't.

439
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 1: So I think dynamics change in friendships all the time,

440
00:23:57,560 --> 00:24:00,960
Speaker 1: especially when a new relationship is introduced into that friendship.

441
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:06,000
Speaker 1: Mm hmm, all I mean it's not bad. No, it's

442
00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:09,639
Speaker 1: not it's not bad. I've had that a few times.

443
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,439
Speaker 1: I've had that a few times, and I know, like

444
00:24:11,560 --> 00:24:14,760
Speaker 1: being younger, I would be like, bitch, like we're not

445
00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:19,520
Speaker 1: friends anymore. Like and you know, at times I think

446
00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 1: we take it personal, like you know, you're doing this

447
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 1: to me, they're not doing it to you. Per se,

448
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 1: their whole life has changed right, because now they're in

449
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,479
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone who wants to be around them,

450
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,480
Speaker 1: you know, once a lot of their time, so everything changes.

451
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:37,960
Speaker 1: They used to go out after work, they don't. They

452
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 1: meet their partner. They used to do brunch on weekends

453
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:42,479
Speaker 1: with friends, they don't. They do brunch with their partner.

454
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:46,360
Speaker 1: So it's all aspects of their life has changed. Mm hmm.

455
00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:50,480
Speaker 1: Now I think you're just might be really good. Thank you, well,

456
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 1: I thought this was good. Are you accepting a new plans?

457
00:24:54,480 --> 00:24:57,800
Speaker 1: I am accepting new clients? UM, I don't know how

458
00:24:57,840 --> 00:25:02,719
Speaker 1: because you're so booked. I know, and I think because

459
00:25:02,800 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: I also like as clients grow and do better, and

460
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:10,160
Speaker 1: you know this, you know, we transition to every two weeks,

461
00:25:10,200 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: you know, once a month, things like that. I am

462
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,640
Speaker 1: not the therapist that feels like you have to see

463
00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 1: me every week or you have to see me every

464
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: two weeks. Um. The purpose of you getting the therapy

465
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 1: is for you to grow and feel better. So when

466
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,920
Speaker 1: you're doing that, we will have those conversations and transition

467
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Speaker 1: you into seeing me less, you know, less until you're

468
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,800
Speaker 1: just maintaining. So that really frees up time to start

469
00:25:33,840 --> 00:25:36,639
Speaker 1: working with new clients. UM, which is a good way

470
00:25:36,680 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: to like keep my practice going well. If you have

471
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,440
Speaker 1: any questions, please make sure to email us at Hello

472
00:25:43,480 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: at the PhD podcast dot com. If you're looking for

473
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 1: a therapist, make sure to include that in the email.

474
00:25:49,760 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 1: And I think this was a really good our first

475
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:57,200
Speaker 1: time doing this. Yes, it was exciting. I can't wait

476
00:25:57,440 --> 00:26:00,760
Speaker 1: right in sending all your questions and so we could

477
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,959
Speaker 1: have like, what any questions next time? I know, I know,

478
00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:07,880
Speaker 1: I mean, we want to address the deep ones, but

479
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:09,919
Speaker 1: I think it's the climate that we're in is just

480
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:13,399
Speaker 1: like man like that's really sad, but better days are

481
00:26:13,440 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 1: gonna come. Yes, yes, yes, UM, thank you guys for

482
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,959
Speaker 1: all of your questions. UM, I really really appreciate it,

483
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:23,760
Speaker 1: honor you all in the space that you're in, and

484
00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 1: really hope that in some ways these answers have helped you.

485
00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:30,280
Speaker 1: And again, like she said, if you guys have any

486
00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:33,639
Speaker 1: questions or you know, are looking for someone, it doesn't

487
00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:37,160
Speaker 1: have to necessarily be me. UM, I can also support

488
00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:40,040
Speaker 1: you with finding that right person for you or your

489
00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 1: family member. Just reach out to the email UM address

490
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:46,560
Speaker 1: that she gave you. Thank you and until next time,

491
00:26:46,640 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 1: everyone Later Later,