Speaker 1: My guest today is actor and comedian David Spade. You
Speaker 1: may know him from movies like Grown Ups and Joe Dirt,
Speaker 1: but now he's the host of a new game show
Speaker 1: called Snake Oil. This is just be with David Spade.
Speaker 1: Let's get into it. We're friends now. This is very
Speaker 1: exciting that I'm friends with David Spade. Like, you know,
Speaker 1: I'm a comedy snob and I don't like people that
Speaker 1: aren't funny. So you added to my funny arsenal. Yeah,
Speaker 1: how did you think Pete Davidson handle what's going on?
Speaker 1: Like his the opening, you know, statement about his father,
Speaker 1: which is tragic and kind of saying it's time to
Speaker 1: you know, it's time to laugh. I thought that was
Speaker 1: a pretty good like segue into having a comedy show.
Speaker 1: There's not really any way to do that. And have
Speaker 1: you been through anything like that where you've had to
Speaker 1: kind of be funny when it's not that funny?
Speaker 2: You know. I'm sure he did a good job. I didn't see,
Speaker 2: but I know they you know, like nine to eleven,
Speaker 2: there's things where you have to sort of make the transition.
Speaker 2: I mean, everyone's tuning into a comedy show, so you
Speaker 2: sort of know ahead of time if you're going to
Speaker 2: try to escape the news twenty four hours, that that's
Speaker 2: what you have to do. It is hard to be
Speaker 2: on it also and be sort of light because when
Speaker 2: you're a part of it, you're you know, you're not
Speaker 2: an exception to all the problems going on I've had.
Speaker 2: I haven't had that situation. I have had being mad
Speaker 2: and going on. You always have to be sort of
Speaker 2: fun in a good mood to do comedy. And there's
Speaker 2: fights at SNL. There's fight, there's ore, there's getting off
Speaker 2: the phone in the green room when you're going on
Speaker 2: to do stand up and you're and you're in a
Speaker 2: bad mood, and then you have to just walk with
Speaker 2: You're like, it's so hard to change up when you're
Speaker 2: in a bad mood to just be like yeah, da
Speaker 2: da da right into John Benet Ramsey. You know, you
Speaker 2: have to be like, oh, it's very hard to do.
Speaker 2: So that that's tough on comedy book.
Speaker 3: Well what do you do?
Speaker 1: Because also you have like a we were on the
Speaker 1: show Snake Oil together everyone David Spade hosts.
Speaker 3: It's a it's on Fox. It's hilarious.
Speaker 1: I have to say it is so I keep saying
Speaker 1: it's so stupid and smart it is and you're the
Speaker 1: thing is you are like dispassion and being unflappable works
Speaker 1: for it. Like, so you can be a little grouchy
Speaker 1: in your comedy because it's kind of your whole stick right,
Speaker 1: your bit and you it's who you is.
Speaker 2: Yes, when we first met, it was Will Arnette said,
Speaker 2: I knew him. We just did SmartLess and then he goes,
Speaker 2: you know, you would you want to do this thing
Speaker 2: because we had a blast on podcast. And then he goes,
Speaker 2: I said, I'm not really, I'm not against game shows.
Speaker 2: I'm just not my thing. I'm not like high energy.
Speaker 2: You know. I wouldn't mind an easy job where I say,
Speaker 2: I literally thought that job was spin the wheel and
Speaker 2: pick a letter and then I would just be like
Speaker 2: this a half hour and then money gun comes up
Speaker 2: with a spray me. Uh, but it was it was
Speaker 2: really hard, So I said yeah because the idea sounded
Speaker 2: funny to me, kind of like shark tank but one
Speaker 2: of them's fake, you know, and that and and it's
Speaker 2: kind of more comedic once you see it, like you
Speaker 2: you were on my favorite one. I'm not even bullshaite.
Speaker 2: You were on the one that I said should go first,
Speaker 2: because A, you're such you're perfect for the show. You're
Speaker 2: no bs, I don't know if you've ever heard that before.
Speaker 2: You're very perfect. You've never heard that. And but you
Speaker 2: have a charm about you and you're and you're smart
Speaker 2: in business, and people buy that already because it's been proven.
Speaker 2: I guess so I would never believe it, but it's been.
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's okay.
Speaker 2: So you go out there and then you also are
Speaker 2: passionate about winning money for the person that doesn't have
Speaker 2: a lot of money, and that's a really fun thing
Speaker 2: that you don't get to do in life, really, and
Speaker 2: it's and it's on the line where you your decision
Speaker 2: steering her could ruin it. And that's that's a weird
Speaker 2: part of the show too that I didn't really notice
Speaker 2: until I was watching it for a while and doing it, going,
Speaker 2: this is so tough that anything they say to them
Speaker 2: if they somehow lose, because all the stars were very
Speaker 2: sweet and really pulling for their person, like you want
Speaker 2: them to win, of course, and your girl wanted a
Speaker 2: lot that was.
Speaker 1: Oh and we already saw that. Yeah, I don't know
Speaker 1: if my other one, I'm not going to say what happens.
Speaker 1: But in one case, the guy he doesn't listen, so
Speaker 1: he didn't even consult me. Do you remember the one
Speaker 1: when the guy didn't even consult me and then he
Speaker 1: made a decision.
Speaker 2: You know I don't because I remember this one the
Speaker 2: most with the woman because she's Arizona.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh right, okay, the show.
Speaker 2: The way it came out. Then I said, okay, let's
Speaker 2: try it. I just said, is is it easy? Because
Speaker 2: I'm not really They go, we want you to be
Speaker 2: the anti game show host. I said, well, it's better
Speaker 2: because I'm more like a letterman than a talk show host.
Speaker 2: I would make fun of the show. I'd make fun
Speaker 2: of myself. I'd make fun of them. The production and
Speaker 2: they said, yeah, now when we shoot it, it's probably
Speaker 2: four hours you were there, So we got it down
Speaker 2: to four hours, so it was seven. At first, I'm like, god, damn,
Speaker 2: what could possibly be happening for seven an hours? And
Speaker 2: there was a rumor that this was going to be
Speaker 2: easy at one point, but I guess that was in
Speaker 2: a separate meeting because I was busting me home. And
Speaker 2: so we do what we do, we do it, and
Speaker 2: a lot of stuff gets taken away because you just
Speaker 2: really need the nuts and bolts to show the game
Speaker 2: and that's it, right, So I like it because the
Speaker 2: products are actually hard to decide which is snake with
Speaker 2: That's the best thing about.
Speaker 3: The whole show, Beyond Beyond like they could.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they and it's not easy at all.
Speaker 1: No, no, and it's a bait and switch for the audience.
Speaker 1: It's a great I have to say, good for you,
Speaker 1: good for Willernet.
Speaker 3: It's a great show.
Speaker 1: I hope they continue and I hope you you know,
Speaker 1: are on it forever because it's fucking hilarious and very stupid.
Speaker 1: I came in lack, I came in with your energy
Speaker 1: level and I left like giving everybody cars.
Speaker 3: In the audience, you were like this, Yes, I liked it.
Speaker 2: Well, you did a great job and it was fun
Speaker 2: because you know, I want I want them to show
Speaker 2: more of the thinking out loud, because you know that
Speaker 2: last in EU episode that they are the one that
Speaker 2: they had already there's five products and you're trying to
Speaker 2: decipher which ones are real and we were there for
Speaker 2: like ten minutes do it, you know, and the show
Speaker 2: it's shortened, but it's like that one wouldn't make sense.
Speaker 2: You're just thinking for the audience because everyone at home.
Speaker 2: You know. The good thing about it is people call
Speaker 2: me and go, you know what, I got two out
Speaker 2: of the four, or I got you know, my friend
Speaker 2: really was doing well because you can't help, but just
Speaker 2: kind of ship, you know if you walk by and go, no,
Speaker 2: well that it's fake, and then they show the next one,
Speaker 2: which looks even more stupid, and you go, okay, go
Speaker 2: back to the first one, and that's what happens. You
Speaker 2: start to go, remember the one time when there was
Speaker 2: a big bear which you really broke that case wide opened.
Speaker 3: With the batteries. Yeah, crack that case.
Speaker 2: You broke him down. It was like the spotlight with
Speaker 2: the investigator and he goes and you go, what does
Speaker 2: it run on? You kept going deeper and he's like,
Speaker 2: I've only been coached to this bar. And then he
Speaker 2: started vamping and he was not. He was like, it
Speaker 2: runs on double A and I'm like, I think I've
Speaker 2: seen smaller vibrators that run on you.
Speaker 1: Right, you're right, well, your your girlfriends have to use
Speaker 1: vibrators because you can't get it done. But yeah, well
Speaker 1: you asked me to audition, so hopefully I'll come up
Speaker 1: with some good material because I want to open up
Speaker 1: for David Spade.
Speaker 3: That's my, that's my, that's.
Speaker 2: Right, you say funny things on text. I was like, maybe.
Speaker 1: I did do stand up one night one time, and
Speaker 1: I didn't know you. Otherwise I would have called you
Speaker 1: for your advice. But I have a lot of respect
Speaker 1: for comedians for this one reason. I literally I texted
Speaker 1: Chris Rock, Ellen, Kathy Griffin, Kevin neal In. I ended
Speaker 1: up speaking to Kevin a bunch of comedians, and every
Speaker 1: single one responded to me with advice. Ellen said, be funny,
Speaker 1: like that's literally what Ellen said. But Chris Rock gave
Speaker 1: me three paragraphs on really what to do. And I
Speaker 1: learned through that experience that a everyone has a different
Speaker 1: not just style, but like technique, like how to organize it,
Speaker 1: which I found fascinating. And like I remember Chris Rock
Speaker 1: saying the end in the beginning is important, the middle
Speaker 1: is just a flow, and come, don't come with a posse,
Speaker 1: go private, and I think Kathy Griffin said the opposite
Speaker 1: of the private part. And then Kevin Neilan was the
Speaker 1: one who really made me realize that everyone had their
Speaker 1: own different vibe like, is it in and out with
Speaker 1: quick jokes? Is it like telling a whole story? And
Speaker 1: Kim Whitley told me that my way is ranting, and
Speaker 1: I didn't even think of it that way, So I
Speaker 1: thought it was interesting to organize it, and I wanted
Speaker 1: to know, like what your process is.
Speaker 3: I saw you that last week.
Speaker 1: A bon stage, and I saw you working through stuff,
Speaker 1: which I think is really cool and people probably like
Speaker 1: to watch you, like at the piece of paper working
Speaker 1: through stuff.
Speaker 3: So what is your process?
Speaker 2: You know? First of all three and nice everyone told
Speaker 2: you advice because it's so hard because when people are newer,
Speaker 2: I just feel like you have to do it so much.
Speaker 2: You learn yourself, but you have to keep going up
Speaker 2: and like recording it and then you it's excruciating to
Speaker 2: listen to yourself, but you listen and you go. I
Speaker 2: thought that one worked, but really what worked was something
Speaker 2: I said after that, So I got to keep that.
Speaker 2: You know what I mean, and you're listening to it
Speaker 2: down and go because just the whole thing is a blur.
Speaker 2: It probably goes by fast than anything, and it's terrifying
Speaker 2: when you're watching that way. When I went out and
Speaker 2: did the first Johnny Carson like, that's old, am. I
Speaker 2: got to do one, Johnny Carson. When I walked out
Speaker 2: and I'd seen it this way where the curtain and everything,
Speaker 2: the thing that threw me is walking out, and then
Speaker 2: I saw cameras, audience, Johnny behind me, and all my
Speaker 2: whole brain was just filled with how different it was
Speaker 2: than I pictured. I was like, got the floor so
Speaker 2: shiny and black, and I had to walk up to
Speaker 2: my little ex or my star and I'm like and
Speaker 2: I thought, oh, it was like sol emotion. I go wait,
Speaker 2: I got to go now, and I couldn't. It's hard
Speaker 2: to remember your act because this is occupying my brain.
Speaker 2: So that's separate issue, but it's definitely takes a lot
Speaker 2: of repetition. When you saw me, that was actually a
Speaker 2: really fun night. That was like an unpaid corporate event,
Speaker 2: and corporate events are the ones where you get paid
Speaker 2: a lot to come in and do it for, like
Speaker 2: you know, an insurance company. This is all our best guys.
Speaker 2: They come here, we bring our employees, We have you tonight,
Speaker 2: stevianis tomorrow and everyone's a surprise and then they get
Speaker 2: to have an hour of fun. And they're not always
Speaker 2: easy because they're like in the middle of you.
Speaker 3: Know, shitting and talking right, and then we.
Speaker 2: Got a surprise and like, oh, this fucking guy. So
Speaker 2: then I go on and I'm like yeah, but they're
Speaker 2: not a comedy crowd audience. It's usually lit. It's like
Speaker 2: a cafeteria. Sometimes it's in the day. They don't always
Speaker 2: go well, but it's really a grind because you really
Speaker 2: have to stay on your act because when you're not
Speaker 2: going well. That's hard too because I'm editing as I go.
Speaker 2: I look at my set list and I'm like, get
Speaker 2: rid of that. They're not going to no, nope, and
Speaker 2: I got to go go. The other night I did
Speaker 2: the same thing. So for the audience at home, is
Speaker 2: you come to an event. I think your daughter was
Speaker 2: a fan of all that half Medicine Sandler stuff and
Speaker 2: I was like, the best.
Speaker 3: In the wrong Missy is a movie ever?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And so I said, the best thing is there's
Speaker 2: one event where me, Rob and Adam are all going
Speaker 2: on just coincidentally. I think even we're aware of it.
Speaker 2: And it's like a pay you know, they paid people
Speaker 2: pay to come in and it's for they're building a
Speaker 2: new urgent care whatever. So that was a fun one
Speaker 2: for us because it was us three, and it's kind
Speaker 2: of fun for the audience because we know eachach other,
Speaker 2: so we're kind of making fun of each other. But
Speaker 2: Rob goes on. It was still sunny out. That's a
Speaker 2: kiss of death. When it's still light out. It's very
Speaker 2: hard to get the at.
Speaker 3: It's so fascinating.
Speaker 2: Yes, and there's no roof, so the laughs go straight up.
Speaker 2: It's outside, it's at my manager's house, and then behind
Speaker 2: it is the ocean, so it's two pretty it's you'd
Speaker 2: rather look at that. So when then gets I said,
Speaker 2: I cannot go on until it gets darker. So Rob's vamping.
Speaker 2: Then they do the auction. Rob is great, you know,
Speaker 2: he loves that stuff. He's better at it than me.
Speaker 2: And then I.
Speaker 3: Loved him by the way I loved him.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a good guy and he's got a wrap
Speaker 2: out there sometimes, but he is super nice family man
Speaker 2: and we always crack up on the road. I've known forever,
Speaker 2: and so he was doing great. Brought me up. I
Speaker 2: went off the notes because those kind of things. People
Speaker 2: have more fun if you're off your act. You know,
Speaker 2: if I make fun of the house, if I make
Speaker 2: fun of you know who was in the front row,
Speaker 2: Oh Pierce, President, Sidney Grawford, So I didn't see them.
Speaker 2: And then in the middle I'm like, hey, you know,
Speaker 2: blah blah blah, joke joke, and then knowing Adam's five
Speaker 2: feet away laughing, and then I'm oh, yeah, my favorite
Speaker 2: joke was when my joke bombed. I look at my
Speaker 2: set list and I go, oh, my god, this is
Speaker 2: Adam's setlist. No one jokes suck. I'm reading the wrong one, Adam.
Speaker 2: These are horrible. So any joke at bomb that was
Speaker 2: a good crutch to go to. And then but you
Speaker 2: were laughing at which.
Speaker 1: One the dog one, David, which obviously you'll do it
Speaker 1: or not do it, but does this thing about like you,
Speaker 1: you're talking about the perspective you are the dog. You're
Speaker 1: talking to us from the perspective of the dog, and
Speaker 1: I we were crying.
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know a lot of animals I really talk,
Speaker 2: and my active bees talk, the dog talks. I don't
Speaker 2: really think of it that way, but later I look
Speaker 2: through and I'm like, God, that's part. Maybe that's something
Speaker 2: that's one of my hooks that I do because it
Speaker 2: just makes me laugh when you look at other perspective.
Speaker 2: That one is the dog that doesn't act embarrassed enough
Speaker 2: when he falls at my house and he acts like
Speaker 2: nothing happened. Uh, And so I walk you through with
Speaker 2: the dog. What's really going through his mind anyway you have?
Speaker 3: Oh, you're like God, He's like, hey, that was my bad.
Speaker 1: I fucked up and I did overshoot the whatever he said,
Speaker 1: it's really fucking funny.
Speaker 2: The zoom sucked up. He's like, I came in too hot.
Speaker 2: There's hardwood floor. I didn't time it right. I have
Speaker 2: long nails going to fall. I started to spin. I
Speaker 2: was hider playing Jesus Take the Wheel. I hit the piano.
Speaker 2: It was a ship show. Yeah, obviously knew what happened.
Speaker 2: I acted like I didn't. I walked away. Hey, so
Speaker 2: what were you guys watching? Magnum? But I did know.
Speaker 2: And let's keep this in the house because you know,
Speaker 2: a lot of the dogs this neighborhood look up to me.
Speaker 2: So it's really just just just a long string of
Speaker 2: talking like a dog, and it's it's funny to me.
Speaker 2: That's a clean one too.
Speaker 1: That's a clean of Jesus Take the Wheel was the
Speaker 1: best part. But that that's my favorite part. Jesus take
Speaker 1: the wheel. I don't know why, and that like that's
Speaker 1: umped off the page. And then Adam was but he also,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's coincidental, did something about his
Speaker 1: dog and his dog looking at his penis, but his
Speaker 1: dog looking at his penis, and he's like, I know
Speaker 1: I saw something about it. I'm not going to give
Speaker 1: up this joke because you guys are on the road,
Speaker 1: but I just I don't know if there's something there
Speaker 1: with you guys and animals, like the prospective of animals.
Speaker 1: Everyone loves pets. It's fucking hysterical, like what they're actually thinking.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I was crying, Well, what really funny.
Speaker 2: We're in the back. You know, when you do a
Speaker 2: corporate event, just more inside baseball, they usually say keep
Speaker 2: it clean, and that's tough because because you can't always
Speaker 2: keep it clean. But they mean, I won't say the
Speaker 2: rouchy version, but they had one guy there that was
Speaker 2: talking about going down when I grow something for fifteen
Speaker 2: minutes and you know, people are eating oal so I
Speaker 2: think that's what they mean. That's really what they mean.
Speaker 2: They don't mean, don't say the effort people can handle it,
Speaker 2: and mine is kind of light and stupid, so it's
Speaker 2: more silly where even if I'm talking about porn, it's
Speaker 2: not even that dirty, where no one complains after when
Speaker 2: I do shows, so I can work stuff in or
Speaker 2: they say, don't even say the effort, and I go okay.
Speaker 2: I say fifteen times, no one even notices because it's
Speaker 2: not filthy dirty, you.
Speaker 3: Know, right right right.
Speaker 2: You just don't want people recoiling like holy shit, this
Speaker 2: is rough and Adam backstage. I go, shit, there's kids here,
Speaker 2: and I don't know, man, are you do you have
Speaker 2: anything dirty? He goes, I got along and be clean.
Speaker 2: He goes five seconds. I can't. I can't go one
Speaker 2: song without it. I said, oh yeah. So I said
Speaker 2: so I don't care, you don't care, and he goes no,
Speaker 2: And I said, they don't care, and then I asked
Speaker 2: Curvi it's and he said no, no.
Speaker 3: Only kid was My daughter was the only all.
Speaker 2: Though, and I go, shit, there's kids here. They go
Speaker 2: there's one and she seemed like she could handle it.
Speaker 1: So to give you guys context, Mark Kervitz is a
Speaker 1: power manager who I've known for thirty years. A girl
Speaker 1: that I know dated him, was in love with him,
Speaker 1: and he just he was like her big and he
Speaker 1: wasn't that interested. So it never was the opposite of
Speaker 1: that because he didn't come around for.
Speaker 2: That side story, was it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he was, she was in love with him.
Speaker 1: So anyway, he was always a power manager even back then,
Speaker 1: always in comedy. And I used to work at Broadway
Speaker 1: Pictures for Lauren Michael's like coincidentally did the Tommy Boy
Speaker 1: and Black Sheep premieres. So I've been in your sphere
Speaker 1: for a long time. I remember you being in Lauren's
Speaker 1: office with Chris Farley on his couch when I was
Speaker 1: working there. So Mark Irwitz, I texted him a while
Speaker 1: back and said, because Brinn loves comedy, and I said, listen,
Speaker 1: I know there's nothing going on now, but she's obsessed.
Speaker 1: She's seen all of Adam Sandler's movies. The wrong Missy's
Speaker 1: her favorite thing. Like I've told him this stuff. So
Speaker 1: he said, this is your night, you gotta come. And
Speaker 1: then the charity emailed me after I had paid for
Speaker 1: the tickets, booked the travel, canceled a trip to go
Speaker 1: away somewhere else and said, oh, you have a child,
Speaker 1: and this is PG seventeen. I said to Mark, this
Speaker 1: is fuck now. It's like two days away and I'm going.
Speaker 1: And he's like, listen, they just don't want to be
Speaker 1: performing their acts.
Speaker 3: Or a bunch of kids. So I'll get you in.
Speaker 3: It's my house.
Speaker 1: So Brinn was the only kid, and the three of
Speaker 1: you are very I mean, that was dirty. And afterwards
Speaker 1: she was like, ma, I want to go take an
Speaker 1: improv class.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 2: By the way, let me say your daughter was so
Speaker 2: I said the rober out of vaccine because we Gervitz
Speaker 2: came back and I said, Adam Beth that he has
Speaker 2: your kid here, will you say? And he said, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: He's always nice about that stuff, especially if it's not overwhelming.
Speaker 2: I think that's what anyone is. You are like if
Speaker 2: you're with too many people and there's picture starting, you go, oh,
Speaker 2: this whole restaurant is getting in on this once you
Speaker 2: open it up. So he was sweet. Your daughter was
Speaker 2: so genuinely like nice and innocently sweet. It's it sounds crazy,
Speaker 2: but it's not as common as you think. She was
Speaker 2: just very complimentary, nice and was not pushed. She not anything.
Speaker 2: I just was like, walk away, going I want a sweetheart.
Speaker 2: That was so good job. Thank on you. You've heard
Speaker 2: some credit to And then I remember I saw at Gervitz,
Speaker 2: that guy, the rich guy that the power managers a
Speaker 2: bit strong, but he is my.
Speaker 3: Man many power manager.
Speaker 2: He does have Neil and who's a genius, Zach Galfanakis, Me,
Speaker 2: Bill Maher and Dana Carvey, Dennis Miller, Sam Mary's involved in.
Speaker 2: They have so many there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're right, there's comedy factory over there.
Speaker 2: Normy at far you know, so forever. They have a
Speaker 2: lot of SNL. But I did that gig. He has
Speaker 2: his own that wasn't his show, remember, because we're making
Speaker 2: fun of it was his house. He lent like an
Speaker 2: old cheesecake factory. And and and that's the one I
Speaker 2: forgot to say because it kind of does. And he
Speaker 2: has his own charity, you know, for eb So we
Speaker 2: do it, you know. And and one year I opened
Speaker 2: for like Jackson Brown. The next year was they have
Speaker 2: a comic Zach Alph and Augus did it with Tom
Speaker 2: Petty or you know, staying or something. So it's always fun.
Speaker 2: It's the same small area. It's like a great place
Speaker 2: to show. So I've seen Zach, who I think is
Speaker 2: high hysterical and he's got his notes out and I'm
Speaker 2: like the same thing. I go, there's a ton of
Speaker 2: kids here. I go I did last year. And when
Speaker 2: I got up there, I I was little thrown because
Speaker 2: they're sitting in the front. It's like a it's like
Speaker 2: a family barbecue. And I'm like, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: these jokes aren't all my dog talking and funny things.
Speaker 2: This is like so I go, what are you gonna do?
Speaker 2: And he goes, I, ah, shit, I gotta be clean
Speaker 2: and these other stuff. Then he goes up. He does
Speaker 2: one joke and he goes, yah, fuck it, and he
Speaker 2: goes right into all the dirtiest shit within one joke
Speaker 2: he got. I think he goes, uh, this isn't dirty,
Speaker 2: but he goes I saw Michael J. Fox at Shaky's
Speaker 2: and guys, he was getting a pizza. Shaky's is a
Speaker 2: little rough. But and then he did another one which
Speaker 2: I don't think I can do, Heather, because I think
Speaker 2: he doesn't do it anymore. But it was so dirty
Speaker 2: and we were like this. Everyone was Macaulay calking in
Speaker 2: the audience.
Speaker 1: I love how you have an audience when you do podcast,
Speaker 1: You have your own audience. You have like a built
Speaker 1: in snow do No.
Speaker 2: No, I have about forty people here and they come
Speaker 2: over and there's a spillover room where they watch on
Speaker 2: the monitor and no, they get paid. They all get
Speaker 2: an apple. I like my Snake Oil audience. Every time
Speaker 2: they go go all five, bet five, I go, don't listen.
Speaker 2: These idiots. They don't care. They yield at the last person.
Speaker 2: They don't. They walk with the same money you lose
Speaker 2: on YOURRS. This part, I'll give it all bts, which
Speaker 2: I have to. I give Snake Oil this because it
Speaker 2: is they try to run a really tight shit there.
Speaker 2: I was new to it too. You're probably like I'm there,
Speaker 2: you know, like four days when I saw you, So
Speaker 2: I'm getting used to it. But your person, you help
Speaker 2: your contestant, which is how the show works. Celebrity helper
Speaker 2: that knows business. She was a sweetheart, you know, and
Speaker 2: she the game is slightly company and that's what we're
Speaker 2: trying to simplify it. But we I overexplained it, which
Speaker 2: is half my battle going. I can't. We're talking to
Speaker 2: them first like there's seventh fiders and now like their
Speaker 2: first fid it's like they're looping stuff in to go
Speaker 2: and again the words snake. It's not a real snake,
Speaker 2: it means And I'm like, so they just really have
Speaker 2: to make sure one understands every literally single person. So
Speaker 2: I say to you too, this you got to the
Speaker 2: final round. I could say this because is already here.
Speaker 2: You got the final round. Now in the final round,
Speaker 2: there's there's all these products. It's gonna sound crazy right now.
Speaker 2: People at home are going, let me see by fallow
Speaker 2: you there's three products. One is snake, will two or read.
Speaker 2: You have to pick the BAC one and you get
Speaker 2: fifty grand. If you want four products a little harder
Speaker 2: one is snake, you get seventy five. If you do
Speaker 2: all five, which is the hardest, and you pick the one,
Speaker 2: you get one hundred. And right when I finished, she
Speaker 2: goes five because the crowds going and you use and
Speaker 2: I go, wow, okay, uh okay, five. And then someone
Speaker 2: in the crowd goes she doesn't get it, and oh
Speaker 2: do you not get it? And she goes, no, not really,
Speaker 2: and I go, oh, okay, well, and we had we stopped,
Speaker 2: and then they came over. The producers came over to
Speaker 2: you guys, and I walked over while they're explaining it
Speaker 2: because it is a little complicated, and she if she
Speaker 2: didn't get it, like legally, we want to know know
Speaker 2: what you're getting into. And a lot of people do
Speaker 2: pick five because they go, fuck it, let's right. I
Speaker 2: didn't come here to you know, right, I walk over
Speaker 2: it and I was gonna make fun of you because
Speaker 2: you know everything, and you go, this is so hard,
Speaker 2: and I go, why do you not know? This is
Speaker 2: so easy easy? You're now, well, this fart is a
Speaker 2: little and I go, right, So, anyway, you guys obviously
Speaker 2: got it. And then she did it, and then she won.
Speaker 2: Actually you were the one with the baby with all
Speaker 2: things coming out of his head.
Speaker 3: I'm giving it.
Speaker 1: I mean, guys, guys, David, he's the hero, he's wearing
Speaker 1: the cape, he's the guest.
Speaker 3: So well, the customer is always right.
Speaker 1: But no, two hundred and twenty thousand dollars, this woman
Speaker 1: won five products. I picked the one that was snake oil,
Speaker 1: and no one did that the whole week. They said,
Speaker 1: so I'd like, I mean, my prize.
Speaker 2: We killed it, and it makes we were realizing what
Speaker 2: makes a good show, and what makes a good show
Speaker 2: is when somebody like that wins a lot of money,
Speaker 2: and it was and my reactions are real. My friend
Speaker 2: in Arizona goes, I actually like that you are. I
Speaker 2: don't know if you're acting, but you you're shocked, and
Speaker 2: I said, yeah, I tell them I don't want to know.
Speaker 2: So I'm just as dumb as everybody. And I'm always
Speaker 2: in my head going, well, that one's sort and then
Speaker 2: when it is real, I can't believe it. And like
Speaker 2: the rat heart necklace? Was that on your show? Yep?
Speaker 2: The rat heart necklace? And I go, no chance. And
Speaker 2: then it goes up against something stupider, and I'm like,
Speaker 2: it's like meat whiskey or something one God, damn.
Speaker 3: No, no, you're great.
Speaker 1: It's either a rat's heart is in a vial around
Speaker 1: your neck. That that or your grandmother's ashes have been
Speaker 1: put into an etch of sketch so you can do
Speaker 1: art with your grandmother's your dead grandma's ashes. I thought
Speaker 1: the ashes was right, because a rat heart insane?
Speaker 2: Would they go? So when they quiz them, they go,
Speaker 2: you you have your own rat? Or do you have
Speaker 2: to bring a rat? And she goes, we have rats?
Speaker 2: Or you send this a rat you like and you
Speaker 2: dig out.
Speaker 3: It's hard, right, what's that shipment process? Like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Any FDA or anyone any agencies of all this. She's like, no,
Speaker 2: it's sort of an underground thing.
Speaker 1: It's actually it was smart of will our Nett to
Speaker 1: have you do this, because it's like, really, you kind
Speaker 1: of have had an alternative career to say the least,
Speaker 1: like you always do depraved, fucked up shit, and this
Speaker 1: is like the perfect mainstream network television depraved thing that
Speaker 1: you get to do. I mean, have you created your
Speaker 1: career like by design or do you just fall into things?
Speaker 3: Like have you have you created?
Speaker 1: Did you set out with a trajectory for your career,
Speaker 1: like this is how I wanted to go, and I'm
Speaker 1: just doing it my own unusual way.
Speaker 2: Unfortunately I didn't read all those books because when I
Speaker 2: was started stand up, I said, if I make enough
Speaker 2: to pay my bills, I will quit school. I'll quit
Speaker 2: jobs at school. And I went early because I made
Speaker 2: eighty a week, and I said, okay, I'm there. And
Speaker 2: I was like, looking back, when eighty dollars, that's where
Speaker 2: you thought was the ceiling. But that was my only goal.
Speaker 2: I don't want to borrow money. I don't want to
Speaker 2: be reliant and no one. My mom will get mad
Speaker 2: at me if I leave Arizona State because I want
Speaker 2: to do this. Once I realized I want to do
Speaker 2: something that's different. A lot of people don't have a luxury.
Speaker 2: You want to do something I did.
Speaker 1: No, I agreed, that's so funny. I was just talking
Speaker 1: to someone about their kid. They were saying, he doesn't
Speaker 1: have a passion, like it's very Usually if you ask
Speaker 1: for something in the universe, you really could get it.
Speaker 1: But most people don't know what to ask for. They
Speaker 1: don't know what they want. It's a very poignant that's
Speaker 1: a very and it's interesting statement.
Speaker 3: You had a path.
Speaker 2: I was going into advertising because I like that. My
Speaker 2: dad did that, my brother was doing it. I said,
Speaker 2: I kind of like it. It had a creative to it,
Speaker 2: and it was sort of cool, you know, And I said,
Speaker 2: I could do. Any job is going to be hard.
Speaker 2: I think it's hard now because there's a lot of
Speaker 2: pressure to be an influencer or something like it's like
Speaker 2: a pretend thing that just it's easy think the world,
Speaker 2: like I just have to look pretty or just run
Speaker 2: around and trick people and make them look stupid. And
Speaker 2: I can make money. So it's a little blurrier now.
Speaker 2: Back then it was like real jobs. It was like
Speaker 2: you want to be a carbon.
Speaker 1: Who knows it had structure? You're saying there was a
Speaker 1: little bit of structure to it.
Speaker 2: It's like a nine to five blah blah. And going
Speaker 2: into stand up, especially in Arizona, is not the number
Speaker 2: one thing. It's like too much of a pipe treat.
Speaker 2: It was even probably worse than going to lam being
Speaker 2: an actor.
Speaker 3: You know, even though it's so it's so nuanced.
Speaker 2: And that it would never happen. Yeah, no one was
Speaker 2: famous except maybe you downs who I know you follow
Speaker 2: on Instagram?
Speaker 3: Yeah, of course follow im.
Speaker 2: A bomb back and you know these people that when
Speaker 2: I grew up are like these are our star so fine,
Speaker 2: but so I get Well, your question was, I didn't
Speaker 2: ever think of SNL or anything. I wasn't a character guy.
Speaker 2: I loved SNL, but I thought if I could sort
Speaker 2: of crack this code of stand up, it's so hard,
Speaker 2: which made it so great because I'm like, I was
Speaker 2: kind of I thought it was kind of smart, but
Speaker 2: not that funny. You know, there's everyone that's funny around
Speaker 2: work and this, and they get up there and bomb
Speaker 2: because it's a different muscle. So you got to try
Speaker 2: to do that. So I tried to do that and
Speaker 2: then get a little better, teams a bit better all
Speaker 2: the time, and then get a little more. But you know,
Speaker 2: my big hook was there was nothing. There was no
Speaker 2: one when I came to LA that was twenty with
Speaker 2: white blonde hair that looked fifteen. So I wasn't even
Speaker 2: the best. I had a hook. Here's here's the lineup.
Speaker 2: When I go to the first night, Leno Seinfeld, Paul Reiser,
Speaker 2: Kevin Nelon. I'm like, these guys are all like thirty
Speaker 2: five growth, but I was just didn't look like a
Speaker 2: New York comic and that was interesting.
Speaker 3: Wow, So you went to New York and I was La. Wait,
Speaker 3: that was La. You just said I went to New York.
Speaker 2: I started in LA and that's what the chalkboard said
Speaker 2: of the improv And I was like, and I did
Speaker 2: amateur night and these guys helped me get on and
Speaker 2: they said, yeah, you can call them for spots. I
Speaker 2: was like even they were like, are you shitting me?
Speaker 2: Like right away, So I drove from Arizona back and
Speaker 2: I'd stay on their couch. I do like a spot
Speaker 2: at midnight, and then forties that I do a spot
Speaker 2: at eight thirty, and that was my week, and I
Speaker 2: got twenty eight bucks each. I think it's still like
Speaker 2: forty five. It's not a lot, and that's where I
Speaker 2: was supposed to live on, so I couldn't live on that,
Speaker 2: but I'd already quit everything. I had to borrow a
Speaker 2: few bucks, and then I got a movie because I
Speaker 2: was getting a lot of auditions just because I was
Speaker 2: the improv as a as an actual comedian but looked
Speaker 2: young so high school parts and stuff. So anyway, I'm
Speaker 2: trying to fit in the steam of what my lofty
Speaker 2: goals were. Everything. It was not an overnight success. It
Speaker 2: was a series of small breaks that turn in seemed
Speaker 2: like a big break. So SNL is a big break, right.
Speaker 1: But it feels like golf, like you're going one hole
Speaker 1: at a time. Some are more struggle, but you're moving
Speaker 1: in like a direction that you know you're in the
Speaker 1: car and it's going in the right direction, but you
Speaker 1: don't know where you're getting off and what's happening on.
Speaker 2: The club in Arizona got me on. That was a
Speaker 2: fucking huge thing. They let me keep coming in go
Speaker 2: to La the Funny Boys. This comedy team got me
Speaker 2: an audition that was a big break, and then I
Speaker 2: got on, and then I got through the spots late Night,
Speaker 2: and then I got the host, and then I got
Speaker 2: an audition. Then I got a little part here that
Speaker 2: I got a Police Academy movie, and I got on
Speaker 2: the HBO Young Comedian Special with Rob. Rob got on it.
Speaker 2: We were friends, Rob Drake Saylor, Dennis Miller hosted, He
Speaker 2: helped me Gerbitz they were producing it. That helped, and
Speaker 2: then I got from nat Or Michael saw that, and
Speaker 2: so it just sort of I turned into a writer
Speaker 2: as no. I didn't want to be. It was flattering,
Speaker 2: but they said you can be a writer, performer, but
Speaker 2: mostly just right for a while, and I was like,
Speaker 2: it's too hard. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm
Speaker 2: a fucking middle act. I'm not even a headlined. So
Speaker 2: I wrote there and they're like, write for data, carve
Speaker 2: you right for Mike Myers. And it was a great
Speaker 2: lesson in running with people faster than you, because every
Speaker 2: single person that was better than me, so it was
Speaker 2: very hard to it took a long time to get better.
Speaker 3: Coney, write your stuff. Now, yeah, all their stuff.
Speaker 2: I've always written and wrote on SNL, wrote my own stuff.
Speaker 2: But uh, and you get better at it. But then
Speaker 2: once I think I have a decent stand up, so
Speaker 2: once you start writing sketches, it's just such a no
Speaker 2: one's really helping. So I have a legal path. We
Speaker 2: don't have laptops, so I have to go to Conan O'Brien,
Speaker 2: Bob Odenkirk, Robert Smigel, Greg Daniels, suit at the office
Speaker 2: and kicking. And these guys are so good and they
Speaker 2: weren't super famous. They were just great, you know, And
Speaker 2: and I'd ask them how do I what do I
Speaker 2: start with? And how do I? And no one they
Speaker 2: don't not care. They deserve in their own lane. They
Speaker 2: helped Cone and help Bob, and then you know, Sandler
Speaker 2: came a month or two later, and then Farley and
Speaker 2: Chris Rock, so we all sort of started together. And
Speaker 2: then we all didn't really know how to do it.
Speaker 2: So you're not getting really written in something. I don't
Speaker 2: I look too much like Dana Carvey, and Dana was
Speaker 2: the best on the show, So I'm not getting really fed.
Speaker 2: I'm in a mess like this. They give me a
Speaker 2: little warm, and then I want another one because I
Speaker 2: get you a weekend update and a week later I'm like,
Speaker 2: now what they're like, you just did weekend updates. I'm like,
Speaker 2: I know what. I'm here every week.
Speaker 3: I gotta do sory competitive.
Speaker 2: You know, like, why aren't you on? I'm like, because
Speaker 2: it's a miracle. I'm even in the building. This takes
Speaker 2: a while. I gave up on me, but doing SNL
Speaker 2: without being like a super improv like you know, doing
Speaker 2: impressions and characters. So once I sort of started in
Speaker 2: the Hollywood minute, there's different things where Lauren is like,
Speaker 2: just do more like that, to be like the Bill
Speaker 2: Murray where you're just kind of yourself, and that was
Speaker 2: a good that kind of clicked with me. I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: Bill Murry and his movies is always kind of Bill
Speaker 2: Murry and so interesting. I thought, I like that because
Speaker 2: I like Bill Murray. I'm not I'm not as good
Speaker 2: as Bill Murray, but I'm saying just the idea of
Speaker 2: like you're just kind of a version of that. I'm
Speaker 2: not immersing myself like.
Speaker 1: De Niro, right right, right, right, So you've made money,
Speaker 1: You've you've proven yourself, you're successful, you've been in movies?
Speaker 1: What is your goal now? Like, what do you want?
Speaker 1: What do you why are you going on tour? What
Speaker 1: do you enjoy?
Speaker 3: What's your favorite part of this whole business?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: What are your goals right now?
Speaker 2: Right? That's a nine parter. The first question, Well.
Speaker 3: It's got a Chris Rock says.
Speaker 2: Every time, like the Wrong miss he goes, he goes,
Speaker 2: Wrong Missy's number one in the world for a week
Speaker 2: or two. He goes, this will buy you six months
Speaker 2: and showed it. That's all you really until people forget
Speaker 2: and then they go, what do you do? I see
Speaker 2: people in the street Cavaar, hey man Huber Now, hey guy,
Speaker 2: Uh you're you're my favorite? Uh? What do you got
Speaker 2: coming out? That's just a random thing. People just say,
Speaker 2: what movies you got coming out? I go, Oh, the
Speaker 2: Wrong Missy's out right now? I didn't see that? What else?
Speaker 2: What else? Dude? It took a fucking year to plant,
Speaker 2: a year to shoot it, and a year to come out.
Speaker 2: You're already three years back in my movie career now,
Speaker 2: so now I got to another one and it won't
Speaker 2: be out for two more years.
Speaker 1: And guess who's still watching The Wrong Missy? Though, who
Speaker 1: still thinks about the Wrong Missy at Brinn rand now and.
Speaker 2: It's that wrong Missy really clicked. That thing went bananas.
Speaker 2: They said it was the top two comedy of all
Speaker 2: time there and then it's in the top ten of
Speaker 2: all movie anyway, we got lucky with them anyway, So
Speaker 2: and Lauren the Missy was the best part. So so
Speaker 2: I do that and uh what, I I don't know.
Speaker 2: I do have a couple of beans in my jeans.
Speaker 2: They're going away quickly. It's hard to keep making money
Speaker 2: a lot of things. You know, some people don't know
Speaker 2: a lot of things you do, don't. You don't get
Speaker 2: paid a lot for some things you do, shockingly, so
Speaker 2: you really probably couldn't tell if you were, you know,
Speaker 2: hosting the Oscars. I used to think if Jerry Seipelt
Speaker 2: was on, you know, the Tonight's show, he got ten
Speaker 2: thousand dollars. That was my number in my head. I
Speaker 2: thought you being like twenty and.
Speaker 3: You got interesting.
Speaker 2: Go to Allen and you get four hundred dollars. And
Speaker 2: I'm working on my bits for to do fifteen minutes
Speaker 2: out there and try to be funny. It's like so
Speaker 2: much work.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're making a point you're saying.
Speaker 1: The corporate gig we talked about that is, you know,
Speaker 1: can be boring or you can bomb because they're eating
Speaker 1: chicken that pays doing a brand deal commercial. But the
Speaker 1: other stuff is all just marketing for that and even
Speaker 1: the wrong Missy. I bet people think you made millions
Speaker 1: and millions of dollars, and I would you didn't. You
Speaker 1: made money, But it's not crazy in.
Speaker 2: The movie biz. Sometimes you I would never get the
Speaker 2: best comedy out there, so you get a comedy, yeah,
Speaker 2: especially the beginning, like when I'm doing my first movies
Speaker 2: after Tommy Boy was very lucky to get that was
Speaker 2: more so here I am doing those. But when I'm
Speaker 2: off on my own, I'm not getting Sandler's movie. You know,
Speaker 2: you don't. They go to back then maybe Will Smith
Speaker 2: or you know, Sandler was blowing up or whoever ed
Speaker 2: whoever the big comics were, And so I'm getting ones
Speaker 2: that are dinged up a bit, scripts that were passed on,
Speaker 2: but they go, hey, we still want to make it.
Speaker 2: We won't make a movie with you. Can you look
Speaker 2: through this pile of dog shit with cogwebs audio if
Speaker 2: you can find something? And so it was up to
Speaker 2: me to go, let me take this, rewrite it. And
Speaker 2: that was lucky to have some skill of writing and say.
Speaker 3: Nice, I didn't know that. That's amazing.
Speaker 2: We can make it a releasable movie and it's very hard.
Speaker 2: And then we came up with our own ideas, like
Speaker 2: Dick you Robert's former child star. That's a unique idea
Speaker 2: that even Paramount said, we actually liked this so much.
Speaker 2: We want to buy you out and give it to
Speaker 2: Jim Carriss and we want to a million dollar.
Speaker 1: Movie and wow, wow, and then you've been the bridesmaid
Speaker 1: a couple of times.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I did it, you know, And I said,
Speaker 2: I get the business. I don't. And I think it
Speaker 2: was John said, I know you heard this rumor. It's crazy,
Speaker 2: you know. And I said, John, even if it's not
Speaker 2: a rumor. John Goldman apparently he was a green lighter
Speaker 2: over there, and he said, you know, we had talked
Speaker 2: about that, but we were going full forward with this.
Speaker 2: We just love the idea. And I said, John, you
Speaker 2: come to me and say you want Jim Carrey at
Speaker 2: a height of his career. You know, I get it.
Speaker 2: It's it is just business. I don't think you hate me.
Speaker 2: I just think you're just on a chart going we
Speaker 2: can have a Jim Carrey movie this year, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? That kind of so I get, but
Speaker 2: it's been a tough battle of just getting writing, hewing,
Speaker 2: punching up anything I get, trying to make it better.
Speaker 2: So when you say what do you take? I take something,
Speaker 2: and you sometimes take an opportunity where you think you
Speaker 2: can make it better because you're not always going to
Speaker 2: get a ton of opportunities. So when you're knack in classicow,
Speaker 2: I don't do TV, I don't do this. You go
Speaker 2: take something and be so they have to notice you.
Speaker 1: I agree, and I do. I feel we feel we
Speaker 1: sound like we're the old people in the room, and
Speaker 1: we are. But I just think that a lot of
Speaker 1: young people want instant gratification and want to know because
Speaker 1: of shows like Shark Tank. Frankly, they think that at
Speaker 1: twenty four they should be know exactly what trajectory they
Speaker 1: should be on. And I think it's a disservice because
Speaker 1: I think the road is that you know, you don't
Speaker 1: know where you're going to get off. You may hit
Speaker 1: a roadblock and then something amazing happens. I think, just
Speaker 1: like the process is amazing. So many things have happened
Speaker 1: in my career that I would never have could never
Speaker 1: have envisioned. So that's why I mean, and you're still
Speaker 1: on that road, and that's why I ask, like you're
Speaker 1: going on tour with Rob and Adam right now, like
Speaker 1: it's starting because.
Speaker 2: You mention I go on the road on my own
Speaker 2: and now it's Adam wants to go on tour now,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, we had all summer off, so I
Speaker 2: have to go on my own tour and then I
Speaker 2: jump on some of Adams.
Speaker 1: But is that is that like the band is back together?
Speaker 1: Meaning because it's boring at our age, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? It's boring at our age, Like what do
Speaker 1: we do? We don't go out, we don't party as much.
Speaker 1: Like it's not you know, I'm sure once in a
Speaker 1: while you're the old guy in the club, but like
Speaker 1: it's not ten years fifteen years ago, So like that's
Speaker 1: the action right now.
Speaker 2: I am so fucking boring now and I'm good from
Speaker 2: about that window from seven pm to nine twenty. But
Speaker 2: it's right, it's fine. That's where he saw me the
Speaker 2: other Hey, you're hitting it.
Speaker 1: And then I'll be like, but you didn't want I
Speaker 1: know you didn't want to go, like not meaning you
Speaker 1: don't want to do that beautiful event, but like you
Speaker 1: don't want to go. Then you get there, you had fun,
Speaker 1: you interacted, and then the minute you get there, you're
Speaker 1: waiting to go home. And now it's like you're going
Speaker 1: on the road. You'll probably dread it, but you'll have
Speaker 1: the best time.
Speaker 3: It's like, we're just no.
Speaker 2: I got like Fort Worth coming up, Houston, all these places,
Speaker 2: and I don't go there a lot. So the gig
Speaker 2: itself is fun. It's always about getting there. It is tough,
Speaker 2: and the time change and the ones this weekend, one
Speaker 2: place was thirty degrees and the other one was eighty,
Speaker 2: so you get off a plane or you're like, holy shit.
Speaker 2: It just all that stuff just you know, over time
Speaker 2: grinds you. But stuff like on the road of those
Speaker 2: guys is fun. I would do another growing ups with
Speaker 2: them ninety percent to just because I think he does
Speaker 2: a good job with those and it's it's so fun
Speaker 2: to see those guys. And when do we ever get
Speaker 2: together anymore? It's just so hard, so great. I love that,
Speaker 2: and I think Adam takes his time to make sure
Speaker 2: those are good family movies. In the background. I mean,
Speaker 2: we're keeping the lights on at TBS. I mean, notice
Speaker 2: it's on twenty four of us.
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, but I see that in him too.
Speaker 1: He was making a joke saying he's bored, you know,
Speaker 1: not no disrespect his life, his family. But we're all
Speaker 1: at a certain age where he like wants to go
Speaker 1: on tour because it's something some action, you know. I
Speaker 1: was talking to someone about that the other day, like,
Speaker 1: you're certainly not getting rich off of going on tour.
Speaker 3: What is that your favorite thing? What's your favorite thing?
Speaker 3: Doing a movie? Doing stand up? Like, what's your favorite thing?
Speaker 2: I do like stand up when I'm out there because
Speaker 2: it's so fucking hard still, I mean to do an hour.
Speaker 2: I was just doing it this weekend to get that
Speaker 2: connective tissue between jokes and to make it all make sense.
Speaker 2: And you say one word wrong, the joke doesn't work,
Speaker 2: and you're like it's just hard and you have to
Speaker 2: look over everything and it's still something that is I
Speaker 2: have to really try. I wrote something this morning, you know,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, I got to try to work that in.
Speaker 2: I'll sandwich it between two things that work in case
Speaker 2: it doesn't, because when you're on the road, they're paying
Speaker 2: a long and I owe them a good show and
Speaker 2: I owe them not to walk through it. So I
Speaker 2: have a casual sort of demeanor out there, but it
Speaker 2: doesn't mean it's all not spinning in my head because
Speaker 2: I have to go and that's hard. That's one of
Speaker 2: the hardest things to do, the tour. But it's fun.
Speaker 2: Movies are fine, but they're a grin and that's a
Speaker 2: five am to eight pm every day and there's no
Speaker 2: life m H speak of. And then but when they
Speaker 2: come out, it's really fun. Wrong Missy came out of
Speaker 2: so far because you see it all together and you're like, fuck,
Speaker 2: that's right, and that's really good when people get into it,
Speaker 2: and then I don't even know what else I do.
Speaker 2: The podcast with Data is always fun because.
Speaker 1: Dana, Well, by the way I've heard, I mean, I've
Speaker 1: literally never even listened to I've never listened to a podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm going to listen to your podcast because I've heard
Speaker 1: it's amazing and that what.
Speaker 2: If you like comedy and there's an SNL feel to
Speaker 2: Most people have been on SNL, or or have hosted
Speaker 2: or have written on it.
Speaker 1: I need to tell you that I was. I've been
Speaker 1: mentioned on SNL a bunch of times, and you don't understand.
Speaker 1: It's like the crown.
Speaker 3: It's it's my crowning glory.
Speaker 1: You don't get So I well, no, I and I
Speaker 1: tell the story to anyone who will listen, and no
Speaker 1: one has really listened.
Speaker 3: So it's going to be you in college, and I'm
Speaker 3: why you.
Speaker 1: I got an internship through Gary considin SNL, but NYU
Speaker 1: wouldn't give me credit. And SNL said, we can't give
Speaker 1: you the internship unless you get credit, and I went
Speaker 1: and I didn't.
Speaker 3: I just could.
Speaker 1: I was in some loophole and so I never got
Speaker 1: to do it. Oh god, this is David Spade in
Speaker 1: a nutshell. Brin and I are backstage talking to David
Speaker 1: Spade from the wrong missy talking to David Spade.
Speaker 3: Then he has to leave the conversation go on stage.
Speaker 1: We don't have a spaceship, so you know, I don't
Speaker 1: work at NASA, So we go and walk briskly to
Speaker 1: get to our seats, like, oh take it, sorry, everybody,
Speaker 1: take a.
Speaker 3: Seats like it was us.
Speaker 1: We were just fucking talking to you. Yeah, from talking
Speaker 1: to you. Yeah, you went directly on the stage. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we were patrons. Okay, So that was my only big regret,
Speaker 1: like not doing that, just to be in that space.
Speaker 2: Dam you got to see Farley in the Primal Premium.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but I was a loser in the other room,
Speaker 1: like you guys were, I want, like you were talking
Speaker 1: to Lauren and you we guys laughing in that room,
Speaker 1: and I I just would would to your point before
Speaker 1: a back geting on the road. I never planned an
Speaker 1: event in my life. I just raised my hand. I
Speaker 1: was like, I'll plan the Tommy Boy from here, I'll
Speaker 1: plan the Black Sheep event. Like I just wanted to
Speaker 1: be in that space. So when Maya Rudolph during the
Speaker 1: pandemic as the Statue of Liberty and everyone's talking about
Speaker 1: what they've been through, and she's like, we've been through this.
Speaker 1: We've been through Bethany Frankel, like, you know, as if
Speaker 1: I'm a plate, which I am, as you know because
Speaker 1: you worked with me. And then last weekend some of
Speaker 1: the guy ordered a Bethany Frankel rose Like I die.
Speaker 1: That is my That's like the greatest thing that's ever
Speaker 1: happened in my life. I'm so big time this week.
Speaker 2: That's pretty big because I think it's great that during
Speaker 2: Black Sheep you at sex with Farley Lauren's office. That's
Speaker 2: that's something.
Speaker 3: I mean, it was right and then he passed away, so.
Speaker 2: You know I I being mentioned and that's now it
Speaker 2: is hard to knocket mentioned in negative flight. That's the
Speaker 2: hard part. I laughed, get you me? Is it like?
Speaker 2: And this guy's David's baide Like, I'm like, let me
Speaker 2: get out of the fucking building. Jesus, Like, you can't
Speaker 2: make fun of me immediately. That's really off.
Speaker 3: I'm big.
Speaker 2: Here's my question with you. I know you don't only
Speaker 2: talk about the stuff you do, not the Golden Bachelor
Speaker 2: in general, but I have to say there's something too
Speaker 2: those shows where they they work everybody and get them drinking,
Speaker 2: and there is a reward for that. I have to
Speaker 2: say on that subject in general.
Speaker 1: Oh, the Reality Reckoning. You took interest in that, which
Speaker 1: I found fascinating.
Speaker 3: You mentioned it to me. It's nake oil.
Speaker 2: I think it's I think it's so out there and
Speaker 2: obvious that people can't go, oh, that's not how it works,
Speaker 2: of it. No, it's exactly how it works. They're all
Speaker 2: it's all scripted, it's all whispers and ears, it's all
Speaker 2: no one's getting rewarded going into a meeting going I'm
Speaker 2: very level headed, and they're like, get the fuck out
Speaker 2: of you, Like, is that what you want on the Bachelor?
Speaker 2: Is that what you want on any show? They're not
Speaker 2: the badche no, no, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: But there's always going to be a line. There's going
Speaker 1: to be a line, and it's been grossly crossed, and
Speaker 1: you're about to find out real soon because there are
Speaker 1: nuances that you don't think about, that you don't know about,
Speaker 1: that are insane, Like there are individual women who their
Speaker 1: lives have been ruined, who are like in deep deep therapy,
Speaker 1: like they're way, it's bad.
Speaker 3: So I think there's a line. There's a line, and
Speaker 3: it's been crossed.
Speaker 2: You don't remember this, but you were on a show
Speaker 2: called Housewives of Being Town or something in New York.
Speaker 2: I knew. And what happens is I'm sure at some
Speaker 2: point they're like you seem like a nice person. Is
Speaker 2: there any way you could break this bottle over your
Speaker 2: friend's head? I mean, just it might keep you on
Speaker 2: the show another few seasons. I mean, and I'm not
Speaker 2: saying that. I'm just saying we like fun, we like
Speaker 2: people that are exciting, and you're a little you're flatlining lately.
Speaker 2: I'm sure they'd say that to so many people because
Speaker 2: what does pay off, that's all.
Speaker 3: And what does happen is.
Speaker 1: Producers get excited about promote and wait for someone to
Speaker 1: fall off the wagon and really set the person up
Speaker 1: for failure. Like it's a good it's the upside down.
Speaker 1: So in this space, it's a good thing. If somebody
Speaker 1: falls off the wagon, that's fucked.
Speaker 2: Up, right. I mean, listen, we all watch Jersey Shore.
Speaker 2: I want to see snooky hungover crawling out of a
Speaker 2: dryer in the morning and with a bounce sheet in
Speaker 2: her hair, wasted, and then she goes and gives someone
Speaker 2: an h J. Fine. Now when it comes back and
Speaker 2: they say, hey, Judy show's back, they're all married and
Speaker 2: have their shit together, I'm like, why is it? Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah no, And I get it.
Speaker 1: And I'm for the line too. Listen you I saw
Speaker 1: your act. You're totally all very inappropriate.
Speaker 3: I loved it.
Speaker 1: My daughter is now going to college. You saved me
Speaker 1: four years in private school after that show. But and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm completely inappropriate too, But I I and I
Speaker 1: ride the line. But I think crossing the line and
Speaker 1: intentionally choosing the really weak people that will let you
Speaker 1: exploit them. It's very cult like the weakest person you
Speaker 1: can get to do anything because they'll do it. And
Speaker 1: that's where I think there's a line. And also to
Speaker 1: not be compensated for the exploitation, like to add insult
Speaker 1: to injury. Years later you're seeing stuff that you're not
Speaker 1: even being compensated for. So I just I there's something nice.
Speaker 2: Like a cte ish equivalent of being on these shows.
Speaker 2: And later you're like, you've ruined friendships, you've lost job
Speaker 2: opportunities to you know, people see the dirty backstory of
Speaker 2: your life. When you're like, that really isn't I mean,
Speaker 2: I was trying to do better than that. Like I agree.
Speaker 2: I'm not saying I don't agree because listen, it all
Speaker 2: looks like funning end, it's all entertainment with popcorn. Oh
Speaker 2: look she's wasted. Oh look she beat up her friend
Speaker 2: and throw on the pool. But that stuff that happens
Speaker 2: in real life that sticks with you for years and years,
Speaker 2: and it's beyond that. There's drug use, there's sex, there's
Speaker 2: they want people to have. Of course they want. That's
Speaker 2: the greatest thing in the world when that happens on
Speaker 2: the show.
Speaker 1: The crux of the argument is is it a work
Speaker 1: That's why it's a hybrid gray area.
Speaker 3: Is it a workplace?
Speaker 1: So I mean, listen, being at SNL is obviously not
Speaker 1: a normal workplace environment. And you've seen it all and
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's evolved and changed, but that is a workplace,
Speaker 1: you know, even though there's a lot of crazy stuff
Speaker 1: going on late night, et cetera. This is a workplace,
Speaker 1: but it's never been treated as such. So the line
Speaker 1: has gotten totally cross because you don't have to abide
Speaker 1: by any workplace concerns.
Speaker 2: This old comedian Rich Scheiner, when I was starting out,
Speaker 2: he was at the Dallas Improv. The club owner says,
Speaker 2: why don't you stop buying you a set tonight? I
Speaker 2: think it's just for fun? He us, Now that's work.
Speaker 2: He goes, do I have to be anywhere? Do have
Speaker 2: to do anything that's work? So I think what you're
Speaker 2: saying is those shows, of course, they're like you have
Speaker 2: a seven am call, we're doing a brunch, hair and makeup,
Speaker 2: you go, you have to be there at least three hours.
Speaker 2: You're gonna eat, you're gonna do this, You're gonna interact,
Speaker 2: and we're gonna do some one on one. So that's
Speaker 2: work SNL. Right, say, Jimmy Fallon was toxic workplace, and
Speaker 2: I don't know any of the story. I know Jimmy
Speaker 2: from the way I know him, which I love him,
Speaker 2: but to anything, I don't know. If we're getting too
Speaker 2: far with they said he was giving people dirty looks
Speaker 2: and stuff. I'm like, do you know what toxic me?
Speaker 2: I mean, it's thrown around too much like you think.
Speaker 3: Oh, I oh, I agree.
Speaker 1: I've been on those shows and I all I said
Speaker 1: was every single time I've been on that show, he's
Speaker 1: been so gracious come in and I have allowed for
Speaker 1: being that I'm a guest and I know they're not
Speaker 1: going to treat me like shit. But I've been on
Speaker 1: all the shows and that one's great, and he does
Speaker 1: not deserve to be canceled.
Speaker 2: I said that, Yeah, I think when I was on SNL,
Speaker 2: I mean not beyond toxic. But you know that's every
Speaker 2: job I had in my life. Do you think when
Speaker 2: I'm there, Lauren puts me on his knee and bounces
Speaker 2: me and says, how was this week? You do it good? Yeah? No,
Speaker 2: he did? Right? You know what I mean? I do?
Speaker 2: I got mine. These guys got this. Mike Myers is right,
Speaker 2: rains well, everyone's doing their shit. No one's like, I
Speaker 2: haven't asked about how you are. I'm like, I'm shitty.
Speaker 3: No, oh my god, yes, yeah, I'm spiel.
Speaker 1: I just want to make sure you have a good,
Speaker 1: safe and healthy work life balance and that you're I
Speaker 1: want doing a check in, an emotional well being check in.
Speaker 2: Right, They're like good, quit like one less like we don't. Oh.
Speaker 1: I came up working for Jerry Bruckheimer like it was
Speaker 1: called yeah, yeah, you know what that was like?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was in I was a bus boy, was dishwasher.
Speaker 2: No one is calling me I could go. This place
Speaker 2: is so toxic. I'm like, what do you mean? It
Speaker 2: just means I don't like working, right. I know my
Speaker 2: boss has been an asshole from the day I started working.
Speaker 2: In my life, every job, you always hate your boss.
Speaker 2: It's just the way it is. And to be allowed
Speaker 2: to go, I don't like it, and I don't feel
Speaker 2: safe and I don't feel loved here, like I don't
Speaker 2: know what's happening. So it's getting a little too far.
Speaker 2: Maybe there's some things, but it waters it all down
Speaker 2: because we're toxic. Now means nothing.
Speaker 1: Then, Oh, by the way, and I'm on your side.
Speaker 1: I'm on the Jeffrey Katzenberg. If you don't come to
Speaker 1: work on Saturday, don't bother coming in on Sunday or
Speaker 1: whatever that line was, he said, I'm with you. I
Speaker 1: I don't complain. There's no like, there's no lunch break
Speaker 1: when I came up. So even with that, that's why
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, you know, with the reckoning, it's I'm
Speaker 1: accounting for all that. I'm not like this person that
Speaker 1: is like, gone too far.
Speaker 2: Loll listen. I've been on both sides of business. I've
Speaker 2: been a producer in this, so I see it all.
Speaker 2: I see from both angles. But there is something to
Speaker 2: what you're saying. Of course, I think that needs to
Speaker 2: be looked at. So the fact that you're making it
Speaker 2: aware if anything happens big from a big changes small,
Speaker 2: I think there is something there that they need to
Speaker 2: look at. It. It's real.
Speaker 3: Do you date civilians or do you date people in
Speaker 3: the industry?
Speaker 2: And do you date I usually date what I would
Speaker 2: look for is civilian or up to Taylor Swift. I
Speaker 2: guess that's that's the market the highest.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, so like my age range used to be
Speaker 1: nineteen to nineties, you've got a big.
Speaker 2: Most famous is Tailor Swift in the world.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I'm saying it's a large range. I got it.
Speaker 3: I got it three stead of Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2: More tricky. There's more layers of problems, and the more
Speaker 2: people know about what you're doing in your life and
Speaker 2: data and all that, it seems to exponentially add two
Speaker 2: problems in the relationship because everyone has an opinion. Everyone
Speaker 2: is this So I sort of like people that keep
Speaker 2: things down. So yes, I would date civilians and all
Speaker 2: that stuff. But I remember why is Chris Rock once
Speaker 2: gave his friend advice when I was at the table
Speaker 2: or he said I want to date. I think he
Speaker 2: said I would love about Rihanna. He goes, why don't
Speaker 2: you date a hostess that looks like Rihanna?
Speaker 3: That's brilliant, that's brilliant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't strike me as someone who's looking for
Speaker 1: a tremendous amount of drama, And I like that you.
Speaker 1: By the way, no one's signed up for having to
Speaker 1: share everything about their relationship. It's such a terrible situation.
Speaker 1: It really there's no upside. I'm looking at this Travis
Speaker 1: Taylor thing that you cannot win in a situation where
Speaker 1: there are two peacocks in a relationship and you're in
Speaker 1: a snow globe that everyone's looking at.
Speaker 2: That was Kelsey de tailorship is going to move to
Speaker 2: the top of his resume. So now for the next
Speaker 2: ten years minimum, even if they break up tomorrow, what's
Speaker 2: Taylor Swift? Like, how's Taylor Swift? He's like, I'm a
Speaker 2: huge football player, Like I know, but you went out
Speaker 2: and suddenly it diminishes a little bit of what he's
Speaker 2: done because it's too much over that and that's what
Speaker 2: people love. So he's a fucking stud. I mean, I
Speaker 2: have really no problem with that, other than it's a
Speaker 2: little obvious for me, Like why are you driving a
Speaker 2: convertible when you take her?
Speaker 1: I'm like what I thought, so too. It's like the
Speaker 1: Queen's moves. This is like, you're literally cheap. She moves
Speaker 1: like the Queen. Everyone sees every eye lift. This is
Speaker 1: all intentional, not saying it's marketing, but they're both getting
Speaker 1: something from it publicly, Otherwise they wouldn't be so public
Speaker 1: about it.
Speaker 2: A little itchy, but you know most people I know,
Speaker 2: you'd hear later they dated, or you're like, oh, you
Speaker 2: know they're not. You're like, oh, but it's hard to
Speaker 2: squish down because when people can see you, but you know,
Speaker 2: you could see when she went out with that other guy,
Speaker 2: Joe somebody. They didn't hear about it. For two years,
Speaker 2: you didn't hear people.
Speaker 1: You're right, even at Taylor Swift's level, you can date quietly.
Speaker 1: It's not easy, but fa people that date can hide it,
Speaker 1: and famous people that are out with it want to
Speaker 1: be out with it. So I like your secret style.
Speaker 1: All Right, you go, Heather, thanks for laughing at David's
Speaker 1: jokes and text me have a great day. Thanks for
Speaker 1: doing this, David,