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Speaker 1: Hi.

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Speaker 2: I'm Laura Vanderkamp. I'm a mother of five, an author, journalist,

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Speaker 2: and speaker.

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Speaker 3: And I'm Sarah hart Hunger, a mother of three, practicing physician, writer,

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Speaker 3: and course creator. We are two working parents who love

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Speaker 3: our careers and our families.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to best of both worlds. Here we talk about

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Speaker 2: how real women manage work, family, and time for fun.

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Speaker 2: From figuring out childcare to mapping out long.

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Speaker 1: Term career goals.

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Speaker 2: We want you to get the most out of life.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to best of both worlds. This is Laura.

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Speaker 2: This episode is airing in mid February of twenty twenty six.

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Speaker 2: This may be a time of year where people are

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Speaker 2: asking is it spring yet?

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Speaker 1: Hence the title of this episode. Is it spring yet?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Sadly, for many of us, it is not. But this

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Speaker 1: episode is how to get yourself.

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Speaker 2: Out of a funk if you are sort of feeling

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Speaker 2: I'm tired of winter at this point. For many of us,

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Speaker 2: we are long into winter in this season. There are

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Speaker 2: ways to make life feel a little bit better. Although Sarah,

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Speaker 2: you are enjoying wonderful weather as we speak.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I always feel so bad and I'm like, I

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Speaker 3: don't know how bleak or how much I'm getting myself

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Speaker 3: through anything, But I mean to be fair. Okay, weatherwise, yes,

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Speaker 3: this is our beautiful time of year, but in terms

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Speaker 3: of just cadence wise, it could still feel like a

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Speaker 3: slog because it can be a longer phase between vacations

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Speaker 3: or like big holidays to look forward to, and people

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Speaker 3: can kind of start January off really strong and then

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Speaker 3: all those things that felt exciting start to feel a

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Speaker 3: little bit more like reality sets in in February. So

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Speaker 3: I think these tips still apply even though not gonna lie.

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Speaker 3: It's our perfect outside season right now.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so each year I kind of have to make

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Speaker 2: my winter fun list to get myself excited about the season.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait to hear about your winter fun list.

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Speaker 3: You're going to go through some of your victories, so.

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Speaker 2: Well, I actually did a lot the weekend before we

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Speaker 2: are recording this, I actually cranked through several of them.

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Speaker 2: I went ice skating, So I had gone before Christmas

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Speaker 2: with three of my children. Two of them had basically

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Speaker 2: said like never again. I mean, I hope never again

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Speaker 2: is strong, but one was still willing to go with me,

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Speaker 2: so we went.

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Speaker 1: The two of us went this weekend and that was

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Speaker 1: a lot of fun.

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Speaker 2: It snowed, so I went sledding and I really enjoyed that.

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Speaker 2: Just whooping down the hill in my front yard. That

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Speaker 2: is a treat to do and there is snow on

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Speaker 2: the ground. I went to restaurants with fireplaces more than one.

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Speaker 2: I picked up Starbucks from a local Starbucks that it

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Speaker 2: turned out how a fireplace. I didn't even know it did,

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Speaker 2: and so then I walked in. I was like, wait,

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Speaker 2: there's a fireplace. I'll have to linger here sometime. And

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Speaker 2: then we went out to dinner at the Mexican place

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Speaker 2: you have been to with us. We didn't sit by

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Speaker 2: the fire though, so I'm not sure if he counts.

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Speaker 2: Were kind of in the heated garden area. And then

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Speaker 2: I went on Sunday, Jasper's home for the weekend for

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Speaker 2: the long weekend, and he and I went and worked

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Speaker 2: at Panera.

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Speaker 1: And our local Panera has a fireplace, so that was great.

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Speaker 1: It was nice. It was lovely.

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Speaker 3: Fireplaces at chain stores.

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Speaker 1: This is like, wow, I know it's a thing.

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Speaker 2: It's a thing in our cold weather area, and especially

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Speaker 2: with the snow coming down outside, it was particularly that

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Speaker 2: us magical.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I was good.

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Speaker 3: I haven't had like specific winter fun activities. I don't

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Speaker 3: create a list for this season like that, but since

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Speaker 3: I did kind of have a number of fun activities

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Speaker 3: on my twenty twenty six list, I've kind of been

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Speaker 3: leaning more into that, like making sure I get in

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Speaker 3: my two date nights a month, saying yes to friend

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Speaker 3: hangs kind of whenever the opportunity arises, and I feel

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Speaker 3: like playing piano was kind of like cozy winter fun,

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Speaker 3: so I've been doing that.

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Speaker 2: I feel like that kind of counts. Yeah, yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: that sounds good. So I have a confession to make.

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Speaker 2: Though we started this episode of like get yourself out

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Speaker 2: of a funk, on some level, the sort of weeks

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Speaker 2: around Christmas were so stressful that now that we are

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Speaker 2: back in our normal life, like the fact that it's

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Speaker 2: cold and dark early doesn't necessarily bother me that much.

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Speaker 2: I'm like so excited about having it be the normal

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Speaker 2: routine and nothing huge that needs to be dealt with

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Speaker 2: at the moment, I've actually been feeling kind of good

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Speaker 2: about it because, I mean, before the hut, I mean

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Speaker 2: there was a lot of travel over the time with

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Speaker 2: the Big Galapago's trip, which was amazing but was not

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Speaker 2: a low stress trip to haul nine people around, I

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Speaker 2: mean seven people around internationally for nine days Christmas getting

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Speaker 2: all the presents and stuff done, and then I hosted

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Speaker 2: my entire extended family for a formal dinner on Christmas

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Speaker 2: Day itself, during which my husband had gotten sick like

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Speaker 2: hours beforehand, so he was like out of commission, so

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Speaker 2: I was doing it all on my own. It's just

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Speaker 2: a lot of a lot of things that I had

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Speaker 2: been sick before Christmas too, like I had had stomach

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Speaker 2: bug and then I got a horrible cold on top

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Speaker 2: of the stomach book Like these are really bad combination,

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Speaker 2: Like don't get those two together. And coming out of that,

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Speaker 2: I was like, all that has to happen as the

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Speaker 2: kids go to school and activities.

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Speaker 3: Well, and having school and activities, and that regular childcare

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Speaker 3: can be something to sabor after a period of I

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Speaker 3: don't know, just more irregularities, let's say. And so I

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Speaker 3: guess this is our reminder to be like, you know what,

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Speaker 3: if everyone's healthy and we're attending our regular rhythms and

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Speaker 3: maybe sneaking in a few little bits of fun, and

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Speaker 3: sometimes that can be comforting.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, it's good to have time where your

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Speaker 2: adventures are more of the little adventure variety, and the

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Speaker 2: things that are coming due are only normal.

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Speaker 1: Things that are coming doe, not so crazy.

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Speaker 2: But there's a couple of things that you can do

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Speaker 2: if you are experiencing sort of the winter blues at

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Speaker 2: this time of the year, if you're looking to get

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Speaker 2: yourself out of a funk because it does not spring yet.

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Speaker 2: I don't know what the groundhog will have said as

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Speaker 2: we were recording this prior to February second, but whatever

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Speaker 2: the groundhog said, it can still.

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Speaker 1: Be a long stretch of time.

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Speaker 2: One thing you could do is to actually start planning

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Speaker 2: your next vacation if you haven't already. Even if you

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Speaker 2: have your next like really big vacation, like your week

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Speaker 2: in the summer is already planned, if you're traveling somewhere,

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Speaker 2: maybe it's a little thing you want to plan, like

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Speaker 2: a weekend away, or even like visiting a friend overnight

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Speaker 2: or for a day trip somewhere.

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Speaker 1: This can really help with giving you something to anticipate. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I am so here for this.

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Speaker 3: I love planning both types of trips, both the little weekend,

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Speaker 3: like we're actually working on planning a little beach weekend,

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Speaker 3: just with one of my kids friends and their parents,

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Speaker 3: like just kind of came came together kind of quick,

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Speaker 3: but made.

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Speaker 1: Me so happy.

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Speaker 3: There is just like that special anticipatory fund of deciding

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Speaker 3: to do something in the future. And you can really

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Speaker 3: lean into it if you're in a mood and get

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Speaker 3: very granular and you don't have to commit necessarily, but

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Speaker 3: I will if I'm really like in a funk spend time. Okay,

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Speaker 3: this is one of my only uses of AI, to

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Speaker 3: be honest, but like, give me a bunch of itineraries

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Speaker 3: in Maui with this age kids with like price estimates

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Speaker 3: and like it just like I don't know, look at

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Speaker 3: all the possibilities and to start putting things together. So

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Speaker 3: I really do enjoy a good anticipatory joy planning travel session.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely, Well, I have a little trip to Florida

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Speaker 2: coming up in early March and the Sarah and I

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Speaker 2: will be recording and working and doing a bunch of

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Speaker 2: things to plan our content for the next year. It's

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Speaker 2: still fun. I booked myself a room that looks out

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Speaker 2: over the ocean and it'll be warm and that will

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Speaker 2: feel nice in March.

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Speaker 3: Oh, it's going to be great. Yeah, we have reproductive,

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Speaker 3: but it's a treat too.

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Speaker 2: Another thing you can do as part of your weekly planning.

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Speaker 2: Do a fun audit. Now, I love this phrase, Sarah.

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Speaker 2: I think I got this from you. But a fun audit,

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Speaker 2: because it's not like an audit is not fun if

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Speaker 2: anyone has ever been audited, like, not fun at all.

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Speaker 2: But juxtaposing those two words is a little jarring, but

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Speaker 2: it makes you think about it, and it is very similar.

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Speaker 2: You look at everything and ask yourself, where is the fun?

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Speaker 1: Do you do this?

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Speaker 3: Yes? And I actually issued a fund citation to somebody recently.

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Speaker 3: I wrote a log post and she was like, I

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Speaker 3: want to have more fun. And then she listed a

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Speaker 3: bunch of goals and none of them were fun, like

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Speaker 3: none of them like it was like they more taxes

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Speaker 3: and brush my teeth for longer.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm making that up, but like, that doesn't

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Speaker 1: say they want fun.

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Speaker 3: And so I was like, I am hereby issuing you

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Speaker 3: an official fund citation, you must add more fun to

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Speaker 3: your list under penalty anyway. But yes, it is jarring,

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Speaker 3: but it's true and some of us really need it.

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Speaker 3: I decided to lean into just having an entire category

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Speaker 3: of fun to make sure I have more fun on

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Speaker 3: my calendar, and I really do try to look at

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Speaker 3: the week as a whole and be like, is there

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Speaker 3: anything on there that is feels exciting? And then I'm

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Speaker 3: looking forward to And if the answer is no, I

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Speaker 3: try to fit in something tiny, even if it's like

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Speaker 3: get my nails done on the way home from work.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no.

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Speaker 2: It definitely is something I've been asking myself, like, as

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Speaker 2: I'm looking forward to the next week, I'm doing my

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Speaker 2: weekly planning, what am I genuinely looking forward to? Right

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Speaker 2: and not just like, oh, it's good that our family

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Speaker 2: is doing this. No, no, no, Like I want to

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Speaker 2: genuinely be looking forward to something, and so you figure

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Speaker 2: out what is that and if it isn't on there,

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Speaker 2: well that means, you know, I.

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Speaker 1: Need to send some texts to friends.

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Speaker 2: I need to add something like I want to do

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Speaker 2: and take myself out for lunch or go run in

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Speaker 2: a cool place that I haven't been to lately.

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Speaker 1: Any little thing like that can be helpful.

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Speaker 2: And then I also try and do it retrospectively as well,

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Speaker 2: like when I keep my time log. So I've been

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Speaker 2: tracking my time for ages now, but it's a Monday

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Speaker 2: to Monday log.

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Speaker 1: And so Monday, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Archiving the previous week's log and I take a moment

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Speaker 2: to look over it and do a retrospective sort of

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Speaker 2: fun audit, like what did I do that I enjoyed?

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Speaker 1: Was there anything that was really a highlight of that week?

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Speaker 2: Or you know, what were the activities that sort of

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Speaker 2: stand out as being little adventures or fun stuff I

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Speaker 2: put in? And usually there's something because of the prospective

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Speaker 2: fun audit, but if there isn't, that's a point to

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Speaker 2: note and that I need to do better in.

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Speaker 3: That category totally because it's going to make a difference.

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Speaker 3: So I like that you can have a fun audit

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Speaker 3: in either direction. Well, let's take a quick break and

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Speaker 3: we are going to be back with some more tips

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Speaker 3: that we came up with. If you happen to be

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Speaker 3: finding yourself in a bit of a funk right now,

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Speaker 3: whether it's winter related or otherwise.

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Speaker 1: Well we are back with this is it Spring yet?

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Speaker 2: Episode? How to get yourself out of a funk? We've

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Speaker 2: been talking about doing a fun audit of your calendar.

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Speaker 2: Another thing you can commit to doing. I have a

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Speaker 2: rule of having one big adventure one little adventure each week,

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Speaker 2: but really leaning into the little adventure part, especially during winter,

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Speaker 2: is I think helpful because it's often hard to leave

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Speaker 2: the house if you are somewhere where it is dark

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Speaker 2: and cold and snowy, and leaving the house involves lots

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Speaker 2: of extra gear that isn't fun to put on, whether

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Speaker 2: it's boots and hats and gloves and things like that.

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Speaker 2: So anyway, it's not exciting necessarily to leave the house.

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Speaker 2: You need an extra nudge to get yourself to do it.

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Speaker 2: The other problem, of course, is sometimes in this type

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Speaker 2: of year, people are coming out of the holidays. Maybe

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Speaker 2: you had an expensive vacation or presence or anything like that.

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Speaker 2: It may not be that you want to spend a

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Speaker 2: ton of money at this point of the year. If

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Speaker 2: that is the case, then looking for low cost adventures

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Speaker 2: is wise probably more challenging in winter because there's not

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Speaker 2: like the fun summer outdoor stuff that you can just

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Speaker 2: stop by and see. As much in my part of

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Speaker 2: the world, Sarah, there probably is, but really commit yourself

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Speaker 2: to as part of your planning looking around for stuff

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Speaker 2: like that. Right, What are the free or cheap little

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Speaker 2: adventures you can do? You can check event calendars like

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Speaker 2: get yourself on the email lists for any venues in

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Speaker 2: your area, any like community centers if you are part

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Speaker 2: of a house of worship, sometimes there's things like that,

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Speaker 2: like I know, my church has a movie night that's

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Speaker 2: like open to the community and people can come in

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Speaker 2: and eat snacks and watch the movie and things like that.

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Speaker 2: There's probably things like that in your community that you

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Speaker 2: can avail yourself of.

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Speaker 3: And sometimes the nature stuff can still be good. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it obviously depends on where you are, but if you're

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Speaker 3: not spending tons of time out there, you could do

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Speaker 3: a quick trail, especially because like a little bit of snow,

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Speaker 3: it can be beautiful and it might be less crowded,

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Speaker 3: which is a huge bonus. I mean, well, this is

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Speaker 3: not a little adventure, but we got to see Yellowstone

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Speaker 3: in the snow and there were really not very many

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Speaker 3: people there. But I'm sure there is a very scaled

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Speaker 3: down version of that in your local neighborhood hike.

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Speaker 2: I was going to say, I mean a group that's

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Speaker 2: called the a bridal Wood Trails Association, that's a trail

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Speaker 2: association around here. You could join for a very minimal

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Speaker 2: amount of money, but then they have guided hikes over

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Speaker 2: the course of the year, and so I saw there

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Speaker 2: was one this week that's going to be a swift

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Speaker 2: hike in the snow through a bunch of trails in

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Speaker 2: our area. So that's sort of the equivalent of of

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Speaker 2: Sarah's Yellowstone. No, and probably no wolves, but it will

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Speaker 2: be very beautiful.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And sometimes, just like once you get past that

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Speaker 3: initial torture of getting outside again, especially if it's it's

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Speaker 3: hard to come into spending hours outside when you're cold,

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Speaker 3: because you're gonna get very cold, but you can do

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Speaker 3: like thirty minutes, you know, especially if you're moving around.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, No, I spent a fun hour outside in

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Speaker 2: the snow yesterday.

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Speaker 1: Henry and I were kind of.

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Speaker 2: Playing out there and he wound up staying out for

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Speaker 2: a long time, and I thought he'd be getting cold,

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Speaker 2: but he was just so excited by the snow that

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Speaker 2: somehow he forgot that he was cold, which is good.

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Speaker 3: My kids always forget their cold when there's a lot

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Speaker 3: of snow. It's for us, it's like a big knocklet tape.

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Speaker 3: But I'm like, how are you even I don't even

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Speaker 3: know I'd be dead, and you're like super happy making angels.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're all wet and cold, and yet somehow

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Speaker 1: it's not bad. Another thing to.

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Speaker 2: Pay attention to with this of like it's hard to

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Speaker 2: get out the door, like doing fun stuff with your

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Speaker 2: golden hours. So this is the phrase I'm using to

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Speaker 2: describe the time after work and before bed, particularly like

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Speaker 2: on weekdays, so I think about Monday to Thursday. It

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Speaker 2: is so hard to use this time. Well, I mean,

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Speaker 2: everyone's tired, you don't have a whole lot of energy, Like,

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Speaker 2: there are things you have to do right in terms

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Speaker 2: of making sure everyone's fed, or getting to their activities,

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Speaker 2: getting to bed, whoever needs homework, supervision, or showers.

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Speaker 1: Like, there's stuff that has to happen. So it's hard

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Speaker 1: to sort of put something fun into that time.

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Speaker 2: And it doesn't have to be elaborate, but it probably

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Speaker 2: shouldn't be nothing because there usually is at least some time.

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Speaker 2: You're probably gonna have at least thirty minutes of discretionary time,

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Speaker 2: even if it's chopped up like fifteen minutes and fifteen minutes,

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Speaker 2: it's there. If you track your time, you're gonna see it.

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Speaker 2: The question is what you do with it. And so

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Speaker 2: as part of my time tracking challenge, you did recently

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Speaker 2: I was putting every day on my to do list

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Speaker 2: for the day what my golden hour intention was, and

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Speaker 2: I was doing it, and I think.

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Speaker 1: My evenings were a lot better as a result.

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Speaker 2: Like I would find thirty minutes to do a puzzle

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Speaker 2: even though it was like nine thirty to ten o'clock

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Speaker 2: and I had just put Henry down. I was kind

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Speaker 2: of just like grumpy about the fact that it has taken

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Speaker 2: as long as it did. But I didn't have to

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Speaker 2: put the other kids turn out the lights until ten,

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Speaker 2: so I was like, thirty minutes I wanted to do

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Speaker 2: thirty minutes of a puzzle. I'm going to go down

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Speaker 2: and do my thirty minutes of a puzzle. And I did,

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Speaker 2: and I was like so much happier with my evening

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Speaker 2: as a result. Or it nudged me to make my

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Speaker 2: teenagers help out with some stuff around the house so

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Speaker 2: I didn't have to come back during a kid activity

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Speaker 2: that I dropped somebody off, and I would have come

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Speaker 2: back to take out the trash and to make sure

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Speaker 2: the six year old showered before too late and got

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Speaker 2: him ready for bed and then gone and picked him

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Speaker 2: up and come back and it.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, no older kids. You guys do this.

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Speaker 2: I'm just going to stay there. I'm going to stay

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Speaker 2: there at the lesson. I read a magazine.

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Speaker 1: It was amazing, Ray, But I wouldn't have followed you

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Speaker 1: back and forth. Oh my goodness.

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Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you know I wouldn't have thought to do

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Speaker 2: it if I hadn't like been like no, no, no,

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Speaker 2: I want to have some fun tonight, Like what's my

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Speaker 2: one thing of fun? Now I'm sitting at a lesson

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Speaker 2: reading a magazine. May not strike some people as the

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Speaker 2: epitome of fun, but you know, I like, we take

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Speaker 2: what we can get.

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Speaker 3: I think the key word there, I love the word intention.

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Speaker 3: The use of that there is just like, yeah, I'm

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Speaker 3: not just like settling into default mode. If there's like

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Speaker 3: a little bit of time confetti, I have an intention

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Speaker 3: and I'm going to do it. Like for me, the

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Speaker 3: piano playing has kind of filled a little bit of

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Speaker 3: that void. You got to see my time log. What

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Speaker 3: did I do with my golden hours?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I played piano. I watched them trashy TV. But I

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Speaker 3: did it in a very intentive like I wanted to.

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Speaker 3: M h.

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Speaker 1: I did it and it's totally fine.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, as long as it's chosen, right, Like, you don't

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Speaker 2: want to be scrolling around on Netflix, wod what do

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Speaker 2: you want to watch? On it?

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Speaker 1: What do you want to watch?

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Speaker 2: And like people are like they could have had time

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Speaker 2: to watch a movie, like if their kids are down

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Speaker 2: at like eight and they go to bed at ten thirty,

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Speaker 2: Like you could in fact have watched a movie.

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Speaker 1: But like if you spend an hour figuring out what you're.

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Speaker 2: Gonna watch, you're not gonna do that, right, Like you

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Speaker 2: have to like have some intention to it. So my

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Speaker 2: golden hour intention for tonight is actually to watch a

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Speaker 2: Sixers game. Ooooh that's fun. That's also on my winter

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Speaker 2: fun list. Is like actually watching basketball. I forget that

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Speaker 2: it's basketball season and then you know, so.

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Speaker 3: You're not watching the college football finals. Sorry, I don't

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Speaker 3: mean to take this out of the present moment.

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Speaker 2: No oh shoot, that's well, then we're gonna have competition

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Speaker 2: for the See I'm not into the college when I

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Speaker 2: just I don't.

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Speaker 1: Care about the teams anymore. Sorry, but but six basketball

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Speaker 1: is so fun to watch.

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Speaker 2: Well, maybe we can do both. Maybe we have more

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Speaker 2: than one team back and forth. I also have more

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Speaker 2: than one TV in this house. Sarah. So if I

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Speaker 2: can separate off, like to go to different places.

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Speaker 3: I got sixers, you got, you got the football, got

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Speaker 3: the championships.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, jeez. Socializing also a good thing.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you have a kind of resolution type thing to

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Speaker 2: do more of the walk and talk with people.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I just the more. I mean, I am an extrovert.

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Speaker 3: I just am never regretting spending time with other people.

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Speaker 3: And one way in which I'm doing that is I'm

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Speaker 3: trying to do at least one walk and talk per week,

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Speaker 3: meaning like I try to go for a walk most

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Speaker 3: days anyway, And if I could just do it with

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Speaker 3: somebody else on the phone, especially if they're walking, it's

403
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Speaker 3: super fun. It could be my parent, it could be Laura,

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Speaker 3: it could be like another friend. It could be a

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Speaker 3: friend that lives nearby. I could be a friend that

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Speaker 3: lives far away. That and then also I just have

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Speaker 3: developed a personal policy of like generally saying yes to

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Speaker 3: anything social.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 3: I know there are probably people in different phases of

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Speaker 3: life where they are like I just can't do that,

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Speaker 3: and in fact I need the rest and I need

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Speaker 3: to say no. But I think there's something about maybe

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Speaker 3: like coming out of the young kid phase, where I'm

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Speaker 3: like no, Actually, I am more open and sure. My

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Speaker 3: answer is default to yes unless there's some reason, and

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Speaker 3: it usually does get me out of a funk. It

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Speaker 3: can be hard to go. And by the way, as

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Speaker 3: we were doing this whole discussion, I would have called

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Speaker 3: this episode is my period here.

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Speaker 1: Yet there are many things that can put one into

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Speaker 1: a funk. So there you go.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but yeah, what is your socializing policy or how

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Speaker 3: do you tend to use that to get yourself out

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Speaker 3: of my mood?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Well, I have a couple local friends that I try

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Speaker 2: to get together with fairly regularly, and if I realize

429
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Speaker 2: it has been a while since I've seen one, then

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Speaker 2: I sort of put an extra push on myself to

431
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Speaker 2: make sure that there is something on the calendar that

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Speaker 2: we can do. And obviously I enjoy seeing some far

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Speaker 2: flung friends such as yourself on occasion when I can

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Speaker 2: do too, and try to get a couple of those

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Speaker 2: scheduled through the year that I can still see people

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Speaker 2: who are not near me.

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Speaker 1: But we love this idea.

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Speaker 2: I know we've mentioned it in a previous episode, but

439
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Speaker 2: I just want to mention it again because I know

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Speaker 2: we have a lot of people here who love organization strategies.

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Speaker 2: And if you are in any sort of sales role,

442
00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:21,600
Speaker 2: you've probably dealt with a CRM right like a customer

443
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:25,480
Speaker 2: relationship manager or client relationship manager, where it reminds you

444
00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,840
Speaker 2: to reach out to people or how often you've read

445
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,159
Speaker 2: reached out somewhody have you followed up on the you know,

446
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 2: but it's very regimented so that you do it right

447
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,600
Speaker 2: so you don't lose a sale because you forgot to

448
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 2: follow up with this guy.

449
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:41,000
Speaker 1: But we could do the same thing for friends.

450
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 2: They have a friend CRM and you get reminded to

451
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:50,720
Speaker 2: reach out to Elizabeth because you haven't spoken with Elizabeth

452
00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: in a month, and so you're like, oh, well, I

453
00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:55,000
Speaker 2: better text her and see how things are going. And

454
00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:59,440
Speaker 2: then Jenny has also not been around recently, and so

455
00:20:00,160 --> 00:20:02,440
Speaker 2: get in touch with her, and it just reminds you

456
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 2: and you might think like, okay, like can't you remember

457
00:20:06,080 --> 00:20:06,520
Speaker 2: your friends?

458
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,640
Speaker 1: And you do, but life gets busy and.

459
00:20:10,119 --> 00:20:13,040
Speaker 2: It can wind up being longer than you would have

460
00:20:13,119 --> 00:20:16,680
Speaker 2: wanted it to be, you know, particularly if Jenny and

461
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 2: Elizabeth have both been traveling for work a lot lately,

462
00:20:19,320 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 2: or they have been on vacation, and then one of

463
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 2: them had to cancel something because their kids were sick,

464
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,879
Speaker 2: and you know, it just can wind up being longer

465
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:28,280
Speaker 2: than you meant it to be, and so it's just

466
00:20:28,320 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 2: a nudge to get it on the calendar.

467
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:31,240
Speaker 1: I love that.

468
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,720
Speaker 3: And on a completely unplanned note, if someone comes to

469
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,359
Speaker 3: mind in a positive light, like you see something that

470
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:39,440
Speaker 3: reminds me of someone, you should just text them right

471
00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 3: then and there, Like there's not like get rid of

472
00:20:41,760 --> 00:20:43,719
Speaker 3: the idea that like they'll be annoyed by it, because

473
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,359
Speaker 3: if you had a friend zer m, you can then

474
00:20:45,440 --> 00:20:46,960
Speaker 3: check it off and be like, Okay, good, now I'm

475
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,560
Speaker 3: up to date with this person. And it blends the

476
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,400
Speaker 3: I don't know, the planned aspect and the like genuine

477
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 3: like I've thought of you kind of an aspect.

478
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: Yeah.

479
00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:57,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, anytime you think of somebody, I mean, you

480
00:20:57,800 --> 00:21:00,840
Speaker 2: should reach out mostly, I mean you put yourself in issues.

481
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:02,760
Speaker 2: Like if a friend texted you to see how you

482
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 2: were doing, would you be like this is weird, Like no,

483
00:21:04,760 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 2: you'd be like, hey, good to hear from you too,

484
00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:08,400
Speaker 2: I mean, and I don't think it would even bug

485
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 2: you if you always heard from this person on the

486
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,679
Speaker 2: second of the month, Like that's just when you're the

487
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:16,520
Speaker 2: friend's CRM had nudged them to reach out to you.

488
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:18,520
Speaker 2: I don't think it would really bother you. You might

489
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,040
Speaker 2: find it funny once you noticed, But like you know.

490
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:24,479
Speaker 3: I don't think i'd notice. Although now, like when does

491
00:21:24,560 --> 00:21:25,320
Speaker 3: Laura text me?

492
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,359
Speaker 1: Is the second of the month. I don't know the

493
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: second of the month.

494
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:31,919
Speaker 3: I'm texting you all the time, It's true, but hmmm, no,

495
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 3: that's great. I don't think I would notice. Actually, if

496
00:21:34,119 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 3: I had a friend that, like, you know, especially if

497
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:37,760
Speaker 3: they kind of couched it with some sort of like, hey,

498
00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 3: I was drinking your favorite trinke at Starbucks and I

499
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 3: thought of you.

500
00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:45,120
Speaker 1: On the second of the month, because I always do exactly.

501
00:21:45,640 --> 00:21:46,119
Speaker 1: I love it.

502
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 2: All Right, we're gonna take one more quick ad break,

503
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:49,480
Speaker 2: and then we'll be back with more ways to get

504
00:21:49,520 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 2: yourself out of a funk. Well, we are back talking

505
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,320
Speaker 2: about is it spring yet? Ways to get yourself out

506
00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: of a funk? If you are feeling particularly sort of

507
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:11,679
Speaker 2: in a mood this time of year, if it is

508
00:22:11,760 --> 00:22:13,600
Speaker 2: dark and cold where you are, if it is a

509
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,320
Speaker 2: long way since your last vacation before your next one,

510
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:20,119
Speaker 2: feeling like life is kind of one thing after another,

511
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:24,440
Speaker 2: so we talked about free and low cost little adventures. Obviously,

512
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 2: you can put money into things, Sarah, If you are

513
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:29,240
Speaker 2: buying yourself treats, since we know you have an allowance,

514
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,920
Speaker 2: what kind of treats do you wind up buying yourself?

515
00:22:33,640 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 3: I would say my top treats are manny petties, stationary

516
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 3: items from jetpens, which is like delayed gratification but still,

517
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:46,000
Speaker 3: and some kind of warm, delicious drink like Starbucks is

518
00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,679
Speaker 3: like so so stereotyped, but you know what, when I

519
00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,520
Speaker 3: really need a treat, that mocha is there for me,

520
00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,639
Speaker 3: or maybe just a cappuccino about like, it makes me

521
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,199
Speaker 3: feel cared for and I enjoy it.

522
00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:58,639
Speaker 1: You enjoy it. That's good. That's good. Your treats? What

523
00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,560
Speaker 1: are your treats? What are my treats?

524
00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:03,560
Speaker 2: Well, I mean Starbucks sadly has become enough of a

525
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:05,880
Speaker 2: regular thing that is not so much a treat anymore.

526
00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:09,040
Speaker 2: I have kids who are really into it, so I

527
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:12,920
Speaker 2: kind of indulge that and with them, but I do

528
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 2: on occasion, like order lunch. I love that, And I

529
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 2: mean part of the thing of working from home is

530
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:21,040
Speaker 2: that it would be a pain to go out for

531
00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:23,080
Speaker 2: lunch anywhere, like I'd have to get my car, drive

532
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:25,600
Speaker 2: ten to fifteen minutes somewhere and then do it, like

533
00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,720
Speaker 2: I tend not to do that. I also tend not

534
00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:31,119
Speaker 2: to order lunch because I'm kind of cheap. But you know,

535
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,920
Speaker 2: I'm like once every two weeks or so, I could.

536
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 2: I could let myself do that, and so I've been

537
00:23:35,119 --> 00:23:37,600
Speaker 2: trying to nudge myself to make that happen.

538
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:39,760
Speaker 3: Super fun, especially if it's something that you would never

539
00:23:39,920 --> 00:23:41,639
Speaker 3: you know, be able to make from leftover.

540
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,080
Speaker 1: It's like sushi. Yeah, although I think things have gone right.

541
00:23:45,359 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: I order a salid from this place.

542
00:23:48,040 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 2: I won't name them, but I'm sure people can figure

543
00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:51,840
Speaker 2: out what it is if you want to.

544
00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:54,639
Speaker 1: And something's been wrong with the order the past two times.

545
00:23:54,920 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 2: This past time, like the solid dressing didn't come with it,

546
00:23:58,119 --> 00:24:00,680
Speaker 2: so I was like, well, cheez okay, this is no fun.

547
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: And I didn't have any really dressing in the tredge.

548
00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:05,720
Speaker 2: So I was looking online to see if I can

549
00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:08,879
Speaker 2: find a dupe recipe for like the salad dressing that

550
00:24:08,880 --> 00:24:10,080
Speaker 2: goes on and it happens to have.

551
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:11,159
Speaker 1: Halopenos in it.

552
00:24:11,200 --> 00:24:12,719
Speaker 2: And I had halopenios in the house because we'd made

553
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 2: guacamole like two days before, and people who read my

554
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:18,600
Speaker 2: blog post about this, No, I made the dressing. It

555
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 2: was fine, but I was very tired, and I went

556
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 2: to go take a nap, and I went to take

557
00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 2: out my contacts and I'd washed my hands but not

558
00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:28,240
Speaker 2: well enough, wearing hot sauce in my eyes.

559
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 1: It was great. That is rough. That is so rough.

560
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,880
Speaker 1: So my treat was not as much of a treat

561
00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:34,000
Speaker 1: as I thought my treat would be.

562
00:24:34,560 --> 00:24:37,720
Speaker 2: So maybe I'll order from somewhere else next time, but

563
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,399
Speaker 2: it would still be nice to have lunch delivered. You

564
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 2: can also turn work into something of a treat. Now,

565
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,840
Speaker 2: maybe not your whole job. It might not be much

566
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 2: of a treat, but there's often some sort of work

567
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:55,000
Speaker 2: that you really enjoy and it might be worth seeking

568
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: out a little bit more of that if that is

569
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:00,520
Speaker 2: something that could happen in your life, where even just

570
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 2: it's like.

571
00:25:01,359 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 1: A speculative project you want to try.

572
00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,600
Speaker 2: And like a meeting gets canceled instead of just doing

573
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,440
Speaker 2: your email, do that right, yeah, and use that time

574
00:25:08,480 --> 00:25:09,360
Speaker 2: for something fun.

575
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,919
Speaker 3: Yes, Or lean into the kind of collegiality of like

576
00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:14,920
Speaker 3: just hanging out with people and finding out more about

577
00:25:14,920 --> 00:25:17,600
Speaker 3: their lives and kind of making friends at work. I

578
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 3: recently started up a book club at work. I don't

579
00:25:20,960 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 3: know what moved me to do that, but we're talking

580
00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:27,359
Speaker 3: like personal development type books, not my own book because

581
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:30,080
Speaker 3: that would be kind of self promoting. But anyway, we'll

582
00:25:30,080 --> 00:25:31,360
Speaker 3: see how it goes. I'm kind of excited.

583
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,159
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no, that will be fun to see, how you know,

584
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:37,680
Speaker 2: just have a project with colleagues is fun, especially if

585
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:40,040
Speaker 2: I mean if it's something you enjoy doing work wise

586
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,359
Speaker 2: as a project. Getting staffed on a project with somebody

587
00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 2: you genuinely like can make the entire experience of work

588
00:25:45,880 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 2: very different, and that is worth seeking out too. Sir,

589
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:51,399
Speaker 2: Shall we skip over to the five minute uplifters? You

590
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,480
Speaker 2: have a long list of things that are like little

591
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 2: your little uplifters. Can we mentioned the wallow first? Okay, fine,

592
00:25:56,880 --> 00:26:00,120
Speaker 2: we can wallow. This was supposed to be a positive episode.

593
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 3: A positive episode, but I mean, I don't know. Sometimes

594
00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:04,560
Speaker 3: you just want to lean in and you can be

595
00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 3: like silly about it, like let yourself go over the top,

596
00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:08,080
Speaker 3: Like what movie is it?

597
00:26:08,119 --> 00:26:09,400
Speaker 1: I think it's is it.

598
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,639
Speaker 3: Bridge Jones' Star where she's like oh bum us, you know,

599
00:26:12,680 --> 00:26:14,639
Speaker 3: like that song's playing and she's got like the boggy

600
00:26:14,760 --> 00:26:17,520
Speaker 3: going on, and like maybe doing that with a friend

601
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,399
Speaker 3: would actually be so bad that it's good kind of

602
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 3: a thing. And you can all you can laugh about

603
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:24,879
Speaker 3: your sorrows and sometimes you know, you can play obscenely

604
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:27,920
Speaker 3: sad music, but like, I don't know, after a certain point,

605
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:28,800
Speaker 3: it's almost funny.

606
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:32,200
Speaker 1: So I think the wallow the can be therapeutic.

607
00:26:32,720 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 2: All right, So you could wallow, maybe not all the

608
00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: way to spring, but a night, yeah, like one night,

609
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:40,159
Speaker 2: one night of wallow.

610
00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:43,160
Speaker 1: Okay, we will allow for that. Now you're five minute uplifters.

611
00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:46,439
Speaker 3: Okay, I came up with these them all by myself. Okay,

612
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 3: number one bye myself.

613
00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:53,120
Speaker 1: I didn't plan that. Okay, number one. Play a song.

614
00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:54,720
Speaker 1: It does not have to be all by myself. It

615
00:26:54,760 --> 00:26:55,800
Speaker 1: could be a happy song.

616
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,320
Speaker 3: Maybe not the song happy because that that song's a lot,

617
00:26:58,359 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 3: but play a song that makes you.

618
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: You could play.

619
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:04,359
Speaker 3: A song meaning not just to get your phone out,

620
00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,600
Speaker 3: go to Spotify, but like go to the piano or

621
00:27:06,640 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 3: go to whatever instrument of toys or sing. And I

622
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,400
Speaker 3: am really into banging out canceled on the piano because

623
00:27:12,400 --> 00:27:15,080
Speaker 3: it's just got it good. Just feels good to play that,

624
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,480
Speaker 3: especially if you're in a mood. You could get something

625
00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,439
Speaker 3: scented going. So this could be a candle that just

626
00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:24,640
Speaker 3: like makes you feel good, or a great room spray.

627
00:27:24,720 --> 00:27:26,800
Speaker 3: This one's kind of cheating off myself, but a hot

628
00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,080
Speaker 3: beverage just can be that cozy kind of comfort. My

629
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,439
Speaker 3: friend just gifted me some chime mix, so I'm excited

630
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 3: to have that kind of ready made option ready to go.

631
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 3: You could text a friend a ridiculous meme.

632
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: You could do.

633
00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,159
Speaker 3: A New York Times game. I mean I always do

634
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:44,200
Speaker 3: them anyway, but if you don't usually do them, try them.

635
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:46,439
Speaker 3: They're so fun. Like the Mini is a crossroad puzzle

636
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 3: that you do as fast as you can, and they

637
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 3: always make me happy. You could walk outside and just

638
00:27:52,040 --> 00:27:54,760
Speaker 3: look for any signs of seasonal change. I mean with Laura, like,

639
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 3: it's gonna be very obvious signs here. It might be

640
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,399
Speaker 3: more subtle signs, but can bring comfort in five minutes.

641
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:03,000
Speaker 3: A sheet mask like one of those Korean face masks,

642
00:28:03,000 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 3: and just close your eyes and relax and breathe in

643
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 3: the scent. You could look at pictures of past fun

644
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:11,240
Speaker 3: on your phone, like look at all your past Christmas

645
00:28:11,280 --> 00:28:15,720
Speaker 3: vacations or summer whatever. And then finally a little antispiatory, Fine,

646
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,399
Speaker 3: do a quick Google search for like upcoming performances or

647
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 3: plays or concerts or even movies in your areas. Maybe

648
00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:23,360
Speaker 3: you could get something on the calendar that's like low

649
00:28:23,440 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 3: key within just a few minutes, all right, Yeah.

650
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:27,879
Speaker 2: Never know. Maybe there's like a big stadium tour going

651
00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,439
Speaker 2: on the summer and you want to have that on

652
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 2: your calendar. If you know you're gonna need a ticket

653
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:33,679
Speaker 2: for something on August second. Good to know now you

654
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: can look all looking forward to it all the way

655
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 2: till August second.

656
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was gonna say I the season will change.

657
00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:40,680
Speaker 1: It's sometimes subtle here too.

658
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:44,160
Speaker 2: I mean the lenten roses, right, the hellibores are out

659
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: very early. But that's a sign you can see in

660
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 2: February walking around, and all of a sudden there's something

661
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:53,240
Speaker 2: growing in the garden coming up, or little tiny shoots

662
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:56,480
Speaker 2: peeking up, and eventually it's so much that everything is

663
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,880
Speaker 2: going green. But those first little tips of the daft

664
00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,360
Speaker 2: as they come up are subtle but worth looking for,

665
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,920
Speaker 2: and you can often see them not too far from now.

666
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:09,280
Speaker 1: Even in my part of the world. So yeah, keep

667
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: your eyes open, see what you see.

668
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:15,720
Speaker 2: So this week's question, it's a kind of best of

669
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,760
Speaker 2: both worlds. Future listener, although listening now, I'm pregnant with

670
00:29:19,800 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 2: my first kid. I love my work. I'm planning on

671
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:25,920
Speaker 2: taking my company's offered maternity leave and then going back

672
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:29,560
Speaker 2: and hopefully working more or less as I have been before.

673
00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:33,240
Speaker 2: I am lining up childcare with that in mine. But

674
00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:36,040
Speaker 2: as I have been doing this, a lot of people

675
00:29:36,080 --> 00:29:40,400
Speaker 2: have said to me, oh, just you wait, you'll feel

676
00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:42,040
Speaker 2: differently once.

677
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: You have the baby. Really is that a thing? Why?

678
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,600
Speaker 3: You should have seen my facial expression during Laura's just

679
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,400
Speaker 3: you wait, just you wait?

680
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,920
Speaker 1: Those are our favorite three words of parenting, aren't they? Totally?

681
00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,200
Speaker 1: My favorite? Freeze? Ever?

682
00:29:56,840 --> 00:30:00,680
Speaker 3: I mean, okay, I'm not gonna stay into this microphone

683
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:02,560
Speaker 3: that your life is not going to change or feel

684
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,960
Speaker 3: quite different. My life did feel quite different in let's say,

685
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 3: twenty twelve fall versus twenty ten fall, very very different structure, schedule,

686
00:30:11,160 --> 00:30:14,120
Speaker 3: et cetera. Did my deepest desires and the way I

687
00:30:14,120 --> 00:30:16,160
Speaker 3: felt about my job change very much?

688
00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:17,400
Speaker 1: I don't think so.

689
00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 3: And I do think there's like this delicate dance you're

690
00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 3: gonna have some probably not always, but many people are

691
00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,479
Speaker 3: gonna have some primal urgings like I cannot leave this

692
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,160
Speaker 3: helpless baby behind. Some people won't, but some people will.

693
00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:29,959
Speaker 3: I feel like I had a little bit of that,

694
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 3: But then I also had primal urgings of oh my gosh,

695
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 3: I want to go out in the world and talk

696
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:38,280
Speaker 3: and like, I don't know, have some control over my

697
00:30:38,520 --> 00:30:42,520
Speaker 3: minute to minute existence, and that those two are not

698
00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:46,239
Speaker 3: necessarily easy to do at the same time, and I

699
00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 3: still enjoyed my job. I still enjoyed it, just like

700
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 3: I enjoyed it prior. And I felt like there were

701
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:53,680
Speaker 3: positives and negatives to going back to work, but.

702
00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:55,560
Speaker 1: Many more positives.

703
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,600
Speaker 3: And I guess I would just say it's probably easier

704
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 3: to go in with the assumption that you will enjoy

705
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,640
Speaker 3: going back to work, because it's pretty easy to maybe

706
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,680
Speaker 3: cancel that daycare or un higher than nanny versus the

707
00:31:07,720 --> 00:31:08,400
Speaker 3: other way around.

708
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:12,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, I gotta say I'm very very suspicious of people

709
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 2: who are like, oh, once I saw the baby, everything change.

710
00:31:14,800 --> 00:31:17,240
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, life is not a constant epiphany.

711
00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,440
Speaker 2: Like I know, I write personal essays and they are

712
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 2: all structured around epiphanies. But I'm always like laughing when

713
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:26,280
Speaker 2: I read yet another piece from the same authors having

714
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,200
Speaker 2: yet another life changing epiphany.

715
00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:31,480
Speaker 1: I'm like, how much can your life change? I'm sorry?

716
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:36,680
Speaker 2: Like, if you know what you love doing, and you

717
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,880
Speaker 2: have done the hard work of like building a career

718
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,760
Speaker 2: doing something you love that's in your zone of genius,

719
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: you are going to be the same person after having

720
00:31:44,800 --> 00:31:47,560
Speaker 2: a baby, Like you're gonna have an amazing kid, you

721
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:49,480
Speaker 2: find your kid amazing, and you're gonna still want to

722
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:53,239
Speaker 2: you building your amazing life with your amazing kid. Like,

723
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:57,800
Speaker 2: I am so offended by the idea that somebody who

724
00:31:57,880 --> 00:32:00,880
Speaker 2: loves what they do and has so many wonderful gifts

725
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:04,200
Speaker 2: to offer the world would somehow decide that's all worthless

726
00:32:04,400 --> 00:32:06,280
Speaker 2: because they gave birth right.

727
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:09,320
Speaker 3: And not to mention how incredibly gendered this argument is,

728
00:32:09,560 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 3: Like how sexist is that nobody's telling the dads, Oh,

729
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:15,440
Speaker 3: you're not going to want to go back to work

730
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 3: after that baby comes, everything's going to change.

731
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 1: Like that sounds silly, right, and yet so why are

732
00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:27,120
Speaker 1: people putting that on young moms? I don't really know.

733
00:32:27,640 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: I mean, there's a lot of people who are not

734
00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:34,600
Speaker 2: so into what they're doing professionally and babies are a

735
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 2: very good reason to shift gears, and so a lot.

736
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: Of people do or maybe they truly enjoy it more

737
00:32:40,720 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 3: and they have.

738
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 2: But I just don't think that, like the idea that, oh,

739
00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 2: I will never want to like earn money to support

740
00:32:52,240 --> 00:32:55,160
Speaker 2: my family because I have a kid, Like, what is that?

741
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:55,840
Speaker 1: I don't know.

742
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,840
Speaker 2: It's just it's such a strange thing to be saying

743
00:32:58,880 --> 00:33:00,480
Speaker 2: to people. I think people are saying it have a

744
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,920
Speaker 2: lot of baggage of their own. So yeah, anyway, that's

745
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 2: my vander rant there. But the good news is, of course,

746
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:07,960
Speaker 2: there's a lot of ways to make sure you get

747
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,160
Speaker 2: a lot of time with your kid, even if you

748
00:33:09,200 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 2: are for working full time. I mean, a lot of

749
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 2: times people are saying things like this, have no idea

750
00:33:13,480 --> 00:33:15,960
Speaker 2: where the time is really going. And like, you work

751
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:17,719
Speaker 2: forty hours a week, you sleep eight hours a night,

752
00:33:17,760 --> 00:33:19,479
Speaker 2: you got seventy two hours for other things. You've heard

753
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 2: that number a million times on this show. You're going

754
00:33:21,960 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 2: to spend a lot of those seventy two hours with

755
00:33:23,680 --> 00:33:26,320
Speaker 2: your kid because they're around all the time, and so

756
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,200
Speaker 2: you will be spending the time with them. My guess

757
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: is you will be able to structure your amazing job

758
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 2: in ways to allow for family time. If you want,

759
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:35,240
Speaker 2: you can read I know how she does it for

760
00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:39,640
Speaker 2: some inspiration on that. I would also say, though, if

761
00:33:39,680 --> 00:33:43,520
Speaker 2: you are looking to sort of keep going with your

762
00:33:43,560 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 2: life professionally as it is, and you want to give

763
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 2: yourself the best chance of that there are certain ways

764
00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 2: to structure your childcare then that This is something I

765
00:33:52,320 --> 00:33:57,000
Speaker 2: think we've learned the hard way over many years. Daycare

766
00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,640
Speaker 2: is wonderful. If you are doing daycare, you need a

767
00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,800
Speaker 2: very strong backup system because your kid will be sick

768
00:34:03,880 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 2: a lot, and that's just the nature of being in

769
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: an environment, no matter how the much they clean it.

770
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,359
Speaker 2: Like kids touch the same toys and then they put

771
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:14,640
Speaker 2: their fingers in their mouths and so they will pass

772
00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:17,880
Speaker 2: around germs. Your kid will be sick for probably six

773
00:34:17,920 --> 00:34:19,839
Speaker 2: weeks over the winter, and if you cannot miss six

774
00:34:19,880 --> 00:34:22,879
Speaker 2: weeks of work and continue your career as before, then

775
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: you'll need to figure some good backup system out for

776
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,400
Speaker 2: that to make sure you have that something that you

777
00:34:27,440 --> 00:34:31,920
Speaker 2: could call at seven am to come and you know

778
00:34:31,960 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 2: if your kid can't go to daycare that day and

779
00:34:34,239 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 2: know that you would still make whatever important meeting you

780
00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,000
Speaker 2: had to do. That is why a lot of people

781
00:34:40,040 --> 00:34:43,240
Speaker 2: who do want to continue charging forward in their careers

782
00:34:43,239 --> 00:34:47,319
Speaker 2: wind up hiring nannies is because you have less of

783
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,879
Speaker 2: that last minute germ thing from your kids. Many times,

784
00:34:50,920 --> 00:34:53,279
Speaker 2: adult nannies are less likely to get sick for six

785
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:57,480
Speaker 2: weeks over the winter, so you have that more support.

786
00:34:57,560 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 2: But even so, people can wind up or got an

787
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:03,120
Speaker 2: a fender bender on the way there and or late,

788
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:05,000
Speaker 2: or you know whatever. All sorts of things can happen,

789
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 2: and they need to go on vacations and have pay

790
00:35:07,280 --> 00:35:09,080
Speaker 2: time off and all that, so you need a backup

791
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:12,120
Speaker 2: for that too. So I think you might also want

792
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 2: to consider are you going to want to do some

793
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:16,319
Speaker 2: evening hours, Like are you gonna want the flexibility to

794
00:35:16,360 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 2: take a client out to dinner? And if you do,

795
00:35:19,400 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 2: and if your partner can cover it, that's awesome, But

796
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 2: if you're going to need some backup for both of you,

797
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:25,319
Speaker 2: because it might be a possibility for either of you,

798
00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:27,880
Speaker 2: then you'll need somebody who has availability sometimes in the evening.

799
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:32,080
Speaker 2: A lot of times people want to rest and recover

800
00:35:32,840 --> 00:35:35,760
Speaker 2: on the weekend. You can trade off with your partner

801
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 2: with one kid. That's probably a pretty easy way to do. It,

802
00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 2: but if you start having two or three, it might

803
00:35:39,640 --> 00:35:42,040
Speaker 2: help to bring in some fresh blood over the weekend

804
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:45,520
Speaker 2: as well. So booking somebody for a few hours on

805
00:35:45,560 --> 00:35:47,880
Speaker 2: the weekend so that both of you can rest and

806
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 2: relax and then hit Monday ready to go is probably important.

807
00:35:53,080 --> 00:35:55,920
Speaker 2: So you might consider maybe sort of a one point

808
00:35:55,960 --> 00:36:00,560
Speaker 2: five employee situation if you are looking to have the

809
00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 2: support that would allow you to keep going. So just

810
00:36:03,360 --> 00:36:04,400
Speaker 2: something to keep in mind with that.

811
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, the right support does make all the difference, and

812
00:36:06,960 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 3: it really is, I mean hard. Not every career makes

813
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:13,160
Speaker 3: it easy to do that. We do acknowledge that, but

814
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 3: we also have a lot of people listening who are

815
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,880
Speaker 3: in careers where it is a reality, especially between the

816
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 3: two working parents, because as we've talked before, you're not

817
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:23,600
Speaker 3: just covering you know, it's not just coming out of

818
00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:26,840
Speaker 3: your salary. It is coming out of the family's earnings.

819
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:29,319
Speaker 3: So a lot of people are in a position. I

820
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:31,719
Speaker 3: think fewer people do it than could do it.

821
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not a cost. It is an investment in

822
00:36:35,600 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: your lifelong earning potential. And again, if you cannot afford it,

823
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: obviously we totally get that. We are very sympathetic that

824
00:36:44,040 --> 00:36:47,799
Speaker 2: a lot of careers are not paying as much as

825
00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,480
Speaker 2: it would be necessary to have the sort of support

826
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,839
Speaker 2: if you don't have close family right by who's willing to.

827
00:36:53,840 --> 00:36:54,720
Speaker 1: Do a lot of stuff.

828
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,000
Speaker 2: But if you are in a high paying career and

829
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:02,320
Speaker 2: your partner is too, then there's no reason to suffer

830
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:06,080
Speaker 2: or to underinvest in this out of some misguided notion

831
00:37:06,840 --> 00:37:09,799
Speaker 2: that you shouldn't be spending money on childcare. This is

832
00:37:09,800 --> 00:37:12,239
Speaker 2: what you should be doing if you want to continue

833
00:37:12,400 --> 00:37:15,799
Speaker 2: with both of you having career options in the future. Yes,

834
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 2: that's another vandorant, sort of another vander rant for sure.

835
00:37:20,520 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 1: Okay, so love of the week, Sarah, What do you

836
00:37:25,040 --> 00:37:27,560
Speaker 1: have for us this week? Yeah? I love trip Advisor.

837
00:37:28,200 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 3: Every time I'm shopping for a hotel or even restaurant,

838
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: I pull it up and I don't feel like I

839
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,480
Speaker 3: don't give it enough love because I mean, I don't

840
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:37,719
Speaker 3: pay for it, and I'm sure they make money by

841
00:37:37,719 --> 00:37:39,759
Speaker 3: having ads or whatever, but I just feel like I

842
00:37:39,920 --> 00:37:43,239
Speaker 3: generally have not been steered wrong. So hats off to

843
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 3: trip Advisor. Trip Advisor excellent.

844
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:47,800
Speaker 2: I'm going to say my fireplace, so I have a

845
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 2: gas fireplace in my office. We put that in when

846
00:37:50,440 --> 00:37:53,400
Speaker 2: we did the renovation and what I just remember to

847
00:37:53,440 --> 00:37:54,960
Speaker 2: turn it on because it's very easy. It's not all

848
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,640
Speaker 2: I have to make a fire just with my remote control.

849
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, uh, this is so nice and it makes

850
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,920
Speaker 2: me feel a little bit more creative. And I don't

851
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:03,440
Speaker 2: keep it on that long because sometimes it gets a

852
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,440
Speaker 2: little hot and dry in there if I keep it on.

853
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:07,799
Speaker 2: But you know, having it on for thirty minutes just

854
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:10,880
Speaker 2: is that extra special thing that can make winter feel better.

855
00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:12,640
Speaker 1: Love it all?

856
00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:12,839
Speaker 2: Right?

857
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: Well, this has been best of both worlds.

858
00:38:14,600 --> 00:38:17,040
Speaker 2: Our Is it Spring yet? Episode how to Get Yourself

859
00:38:17,040 --> 00:38:18,960
Speaker 2: Out of a Funk. We will be back next week

860
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,000
Speaker 2: with more on making work and life fit together.

861
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:23,880
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.

862
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:27,160
Speaker 3: You can find me Sarah at the shoebox dot com

863
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 3: or at the Underscore Shoebox on Instagram, and you.

864
00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:35,160
Speaker 2: Can find me Laura at Laura vandercam dot com. This

865
00:38:35,239 --> 00:38:38,480
Speaker 2: has been the best of both Worlds podcasts. Please join

866
00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:41,320
Speaker 2: us next time for more on making work and life

867
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:42,120
Speaker 2: work together.