Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here's Nikki. Hello, here I am
Speaker 1: It's nick Laser Podcast. Welcome to Thursday's episode. Andrew Colin
Speaker 1: is here with his basketball, tossing around like boys do
Speaker 1: all you. Yeah, very globe, try to ask um in
Speaker 1: the sense that you'll never play pro so Um. Also
Speaker 1: with us today is my boyfriend, Um the star, one
Speaker 1: of the stars of The Courtney Show, Oh My God,
Speaker 1: on one of six point five the arch in St. Louis.
Speaker 1: You can also check it out on the Courtney Show
Speaker 1: podcast anywhere you get your podcasts daily. Jesus Christ, you
Speaker 1: too little just I'm just having to I feel like
Speaker 1: kindergarten teacher. I'm so happy to be here. I love
Speaker 1: hanging out with you guys, love having you here. Thank
Speaker 1: you for coming back again. You already did a four
Speaker 1: hour radio show today and every day this week. Yeah
Speaker 1: that is true. Yeah, but like I just like seeing
Speaker 1: you guys, and I love Noah, Yeah we will. The
Speaker 1: fans like you. Um. I've I've noticed not corporate here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't have you could let loose, you can play
Speaker 1: basketball on Tide. I don't think I have back if
Speaker 1: they didn't like you, you know what I mean, like
Speaker 1: I weren't a little supportive. Yeah, if you weren't good
Speaker 1: at this, I don't think I would, you know. And
Speaker 1: if you didn't enjoy it, that's another thing. I love
Speaker 1: you to enjoy it. I love it, and I just
Speaker 1: try to. Like you guys are obviously professional comedians and
Speaker 1: you're very funny, so I just try to have fun
Speaker 1: with you. Stay out of your way a little bit.
Speaker 1: You've got some good lines, so you've had some of
Speaker 1: the best ones. You're learning you. We went to go
Speaker 1: see Dan Mints the other night, as we talked about
Speaker 1: and that was like a joke because sometimes Chris is like,
Speaker 1: will you teach me how to write like a a
Speaker 1: great joke, Like there's got to be a formula for it.
Speaker 1: And Chris is very He's so good at wanting to
Speaker 1: like learn and appreciating like the work that goes into
Speaker 1: something and um. And so we went to see Mints
Speaker 1: and it was like we learned, Oh, even I learned
Speaker 1: how a new Like I was even today thinking about
Speaker 1: the Kimmel monologue. And you gotta write jokes like that,
Speaker 1: very short jokes, like Dan men says he has a
Speaker 1: joke for everything. He told two jokes at night. I
Speaker 1: guess I talked about the jow he goes someone else
Speaker 1: how many jokes do you tell in a night? And
Speaker 1: and I guess eighty one? And he was like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: do I do this for funny? How many times does
Speaker 1: he switch it up to? And like, how does he
Speaker 1: do a new a new hour every time? Too? I
Speaker 1: was waiting for old jokes that I had heard before,
Speaker 1: and I only heard like to repeat jokes that that
Speaker 1: you can google and find. But the rest he's extraordinary
Speaker 1: of the talent. But I think once you're in this
Speaker 1: mindset and you're as smart and clever as he is,
Speaker 1: he's like a machine with him. That's true, you can
Speaker 1: kind of, we realize you can kind of. But his technique,
Speaker 1: you want to know, is taken as saying that everyone
Speaker 1: says like a pack of day habit or like a
Speaker 1: turn of phrase that we use a lot um. You
Speaker 1: might call it an a dodge, a dodge, a maxim,
Speaker 1: a axiom. These are different words that we learned in idiom.
Speaker 1: These are all cross word things where it's like an
Speaker 1: old saying and it's either axiom, a D a G
Speaker 1: which I don't know how to pronounce that I always
Speaker 1: say a dodge. Yeah, I don't know adage, but yeah,
Speaker 1: you take a common saying and you flip it, you
Speaker 1: go to left turn, so whatever. Yeah, yeah, you you
Speaker 1: you take something that everyone knows and then you yeah,
Speaker 1: you flip it, so you can do it with really anything.
Speaker 1: His are just some of we were saying, probably the
Speaker 1: percentage of ones that are brilliant where you go fu,
Speaker 1: which is a high back for a brilliant joke where
Speaker 1: I could never see it coming, and then probably you know,
Speaker 1: the maybe ten percent or like what it was probably
Speaker 1: a new joke, and then the rest are like, oh funk,
Speaker 1: that's good. So it's it was really he's just so great?
Speaker 1: Do you do this, Andrew? Because like we you know,
Speaker 1: like we're enjoying the show like immensely, but at some
Speaker 1: point your brain switches and you you're trying to predict
Speaker 1: the joke. I mean, that's the fun of it, is
Speaker 1: like what what is the punchline? And was I right?
Speaker 1: And then you don't laugh. You're just like you're calculating.
Speaker 1: You kind of look like them, you know, like you're
Speaker 1: like it's just figuring out an equation at that point,
Speaker 1: so it kind of loses but if you're I find
Speaker 1: like people they laugh so hard even if they don't
Speaker 1: get the joke with jokes like that, Like I remember
Speaker 1: I saw Dmitri Martin and people are like they would
Speaker 1: look around to know whether to laugh or not because
Speaker 1: they don't get the jokes. Somewhere over people's head, Yeah,
Speaker 1: that happens to I hate when they laugh at the
Speaker 1: setup because sometimes the setup is funny where he's like
Speaker 1: I slept with a hundred girls in college, and people
Speaker 1: would like laugh, and it's like, that's not they're not
Speaker 1: got it yet. Let him like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like it is funny just to say that. But there
Speaker 1: were a lot of times that people, I really think
Speaker 1: thought the joke was the first part, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: haven't you already heard eighty one of these jokes and
Speaker 1: know that the first part is not the funny part yet?
Speaker 1: You know what I love about those shows? He messed
Speaker 1: He kind of messed one joke up. He just just,
Speaker 1: you know, the slightest mess up. But you know, I've
Speaker 1: seen Nikki do it in like her even like her
Speaker 1: special taping, she had like a hair like that was
Speaker 1: out of the way, and I was like, we gotta
Speaker 1: fix that anytime where the audience like where you break
Speaker 1: the cadence of the show and then you have a
Speaker 1: moment with the audience. I loved he had a moment
Speaker 1: with the audience and then everybody got you know, that's
Speaker 1: why I remember that joke, laughing so hard the whole time.
Speaker 1: But then then they cared about him like a little
Speaker 1: bit extra and I kind of like those real moments
Speaker 1: human side. Yeah, it's really important to have that. I
Speaker 1: started doing one line when I started stand up, I
Speaker 1: did one liners and I did it with a Wookie
Speaker 1: while he played slide guitar. He was like his fingers
Speaker 1: on the guitar was he cut? He go, I go,
Speaker 1: can you play guitar? And the wookie costume and he
Speaker 1: goes cut the gloves like he said it like I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about this forever, and I got this is
Speaker 1: a common thing that people talk about. Purple purple, and yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like my favorite. I was like, I want music.
Speaker 1: I'm not good enough of music. My buddy Crappoh can play.
Speaker 1: And he always dressed like a wookie. I was like,
Speaker 1: what if he were on stage. I didn't address it
Speaker 1: and I just did one liners. To his guitar, playing
Speaker 1: some of your I mean you're one letters were fucking great.
Speaker 1: Let's give us some of your best. My best one,
Speaker 1: I think is I have a wonderful memory of skipping
Speaker 1: rocks and going straight to needles. It's just one of
Speaker 1: those that it's just like and then you know, but
Speaker 1: I gotta say a rocks cocaine in that situation, Like
Speaker 1: once you say needles, are we supposed to think that
Speaker 1: the original thing you were going to say was because
Speaker 1: you don't rocks is crack cocaine? Okay, So okay, then
Speaker 1: that makes sense. Yeah. I always thought like, why is
Speaker 1: he skipping? Like what was he doing with? Well, now
Speaker 1: I guess it. Yes, No, that's great. But eventually the
Speaker 1: Wookie quit because he fell in love man a Yoka
Speaker 1: wookie a Wookie Yoki and uh dude, we'd go to
Speaker 1: open mics and he put this Wookie costume on and
Speaker 1: it's a hundred degrees in Florida and we're doing it
Speaker 1: for three people in a fish tank, and he's just like,
Speaker 1: I don't think this is really for me. For me,
Speaker 1: You're never gonna and he's not getting the last here
Speaker 1: getting all are splitting and were making one liner two
Speaker 1: Wookie would come up and go whoa, whoa, whoa whoa,
Speaker 1: and it would cry like it I'd give him a
Speaker 1: little bit of the spotlight. So anyways, long story short, like,
Speaker 1: so I had a character named Andy Shallows, I wore
Speaker 1: my grandpa's hat, I had a mustache, a real mustache,
Speaker 1: and I would do all because you didn't want to
Speaker 1: be yourself right, like you didn't have enough confidence in yourself.
Speaker 1: You had to move the character. Yeah, I guess so.
Speaker 1: And it works so well that it's hard to you know.
Speaker 1: I remember the head of and provably like you could
Speaker 1: skip hosting and go straight to featuring. For I was like,
Speaker 1: who's gonna host with a Wookie? Like that's a weird
Speaker 1: Like how you guys doing tonight the first time you did? Is?
Speaker 1: Why did you choose that instead of going up as yourself? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't. I guess that was because shallow thoughts. It
Speaker 1: was the opposite of deep thing, candy kind of thing. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: got that. So I quit. So Wookie quits the band.
Speaker 1: But then I just go up no music and just
Speaker 1: try to do these one liners without the like I mean,
Speaker 1: even heburg that one special. Yeah, like buddy on the
Speaker 1: base and I was bombed, like I was bombing so
Speaker 1: hard and the jokes weren't hitting. And then with one liners,
Speaker 1: the scary parts, there's so much silence, and this old
Speaker 1: man after each joke was like, that's all right. That
Speaker 1: one was okay. I don't know about that one. That
Speaker 1: one was good. I guess every joke and I'm like
Speaker 1: and I'm like really new, and I didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do. And yeah, finally I broke this like I
Speaker 1: have a wonderful and I go, look, you motherfucker. If
Speaker 1: you keep sucking doing it, I'm gonna come down. They're
Speaker 1: gonna fucking beat your old ass. And then he was like,
Speaker 1: anyhowse did that kill? They pulled me aside. They go,
Speaker 1: you'll never work this club again if you threaten our patrons.
Speaker 1: He was simon cowelling you. But I tried. I guess
Speaker 1: the whole point of stories. I tried to get back
Speaker 1: into that character. And if you're not talented, you can't
Speaker 1: you can't break it, like like Mints broke that rhythm.
Speaker 1: He is Dan Mints up like he does talk like that.
Speaker 1: Even the character Tina Belcher that he plays on Bob's
Speaker 1: Burgers I was telling Chris because he's never seen Bob's Burgers.
Speaker 1: He does the same voice. His voice is his voice.
Speaker 1: He doesn't and he does the voice of a girl.
Speaker 1: But it's it's that's why it's funny, and the way
Speaker 1: he talks is funny. It's it really is a It
Speaker 1: was so for me when I watch Veep, when I
Speaker 1: watched Dirty Rock, when I go see Dan Mints, when
Speaker 1: I see a great comic that has just tons of jokes, man,
Speaker 1: it makes me better. Like I for the next set
Speaker 1: I did. I I wrote when I was sitting there
Speaker 1: next to you. What when during Tim said I wrote
Speaker 1: like three jokes at least that I did on stage
Speaker 1: that uh, that worked so well that they're gonna be
Speaker 1: You could see them in Vegas September two at the
Speaker 1: Virgin Hotels, Cassine. I don't know where it is, but
Speaker 1: just look at my um, look at my Instagram. Please
Speaker 1: go to that show. It's going to be so fun
Speaker 1: and it will be the last show I perform with
Speaker 1: my um, with my voice that you you know now,
Speaker 1: I mean, you're so good at left turn jokes. Well,
Speaker 1: one liners were my first thing too. I think that's
Speaker 1: the best way to start for any comic, like depending
Speaker 1: on how you who you admire. When I got into
Speaker 1: Sarah Silverman and Mitch Edburg, Wendy Liebman, these were the
Speaker 1: people that I enjoyed because you could go back then
Speaker 1: there was no YouTube yet, so seeing videos they were sparse,
Speaker 1: but also they just you could quote them and they
Speaker 1: would be Dmitri Martin also one of my favorites. And
Speaker 1: Zac Alfernaki's Purple Onion. If you guys haven't seen that,
Speaker 1: which I think we have, like a lot of young
Speaker 1: listeners that maybe missed that, and you know, Zach is
Speaker 1: just the guy from the Hangover or like maybe you
Speaker 1: don't even know him because he's been out in movies
Speaker 1: for a while. One of the best comics ever, had
Speaker 1: some of the best jokes. One time I saw him
Speaker 1: on stage in Montreal Live, I got to open for him.
Speaker 1: It was one of the biggest moments of my career.
Speaker 1: The New Faces, No, they were just you know when
Speaker 1: you were there for New Faces, which is a meal
Speaker 1: just went this past summer, You're like at your debut
Speaker 1: in the industry, it's a huge comedy festival. Uh, their
Speaker 1: headliners doing shows and they need openers and so they
Speaker 1: choose from the New Faces. Have you told your New
Speaker 1: Faces joke from from that year? I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I should. Yeah, that was one of my best one liners. Um.
Speaker 1: But on that zac Alfnakis show. He one of the
Speaker 1: bits that I saw that I never saw him do again,
Speaker 1: I think on a taped thing was he stops during
Speaker 1: the middle of his jokes and he goes, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: I'm getting a call, and he pulled out an Altoyd
Speaker 1: scan and he flips it. This is during Flip Flows
Speaker 1: is two seven. He flips it open. They just spill
Speaker 1: all over the stage and it was like hello and
Speaker 1: just the It's such a funny bit that they would
Speaker 1: fly everywhere. It was so good. Um, and he was
Speaker 1: wearing he was just like Annie for that. I remember,
Speaker 1: um my joke that I did in Montreal. I remember
Speaker 1: Robbie Praw who was the head of who he booked.
Speaker 1: He was He now works at Netflix and is the
Speaker 1: arbiter of deciding who gets specials and so he's a
Speaker 1: very powerful person. Was even then gave people New Faces
Speaker 1: so nice, such a nice guy. It always was like
Speaker 1: a really good champion of mine and still is. And
Speaker 1: he told me, hey, this joke that you do that
Speaker 1: you know you audition with that is going to be
Speaker 1: the crux of your set. I think it was my opener.
Speaker 1: The joke was, do you guys know that there's this
Speaker 1: website where you can type in your zip code and
Speaker 1: it or your area code and it gives or your
Speaker 1: zip code and it gives you a list of every
Speaker 1: sexual fender in your area. Uh match dot com. It was.
Speaker 1: It was that, I think I said, Did I say MySpace?
Speaker 1: I think I said my Space dot com. At the time,
Speaker 1: that was you know, and um, he goes in Canada,
Speaker 1: it's Facebook. Now that's what we're using. That's no one
Speaker 1: uses like It's it's gonna be into me Facebook. I
Speaker 1: just couldn't wrap my head around how that would be
Speaker 1: a social It was so about just college kids at
Speaker 1: that point. For the in the US, I think pedophile
Speaker 1: with college kids either yes and for and he was.
Speaker 1: But what I didn't know is that in Canada it
Speaker 1: was my Space and I should have trusted him like
Speaker 1: because it did not it was Facebook yet it Facebook
Speaker 1: was like my Space in Canada and I just should
Speaker 1: have trusted him. And it just set me up to
Speaker 1: do because that joke usually hit so fucking well in
Speaker 1: the States that it was. Honestly, if from the first
Speaker 1: time I told it never once got anything other than
Speaker 1: huge laughs, And it was the first time there on
Speaker 1: my biggest show of my life where it just gets nothing,
Speaker 1: and then it's like panic mode, and like every other
Speaker 1: joke after that was just like, oh God, what am
Speaker 1: I gonna do? But yeah, my first jokes were all
Speaker 1: especially when it's a joke that hits every time and
Speaker 1: it doesn't hit ye of your newer comic you could
Speaker 1: see it on the face of defeat and you always go,
Speaker 1: oh boy, or that's the same. If I would have said,
Speaker 1: oh boy, that I would have killed Honestly, if I
Speaker 1: just called out that it was bad, like you said, well,
Speaker 1: even if even at the Funny Bone on the other night,
Speaker 1: you were just like, well that joke needs more work,
Speaker 1: and then people people were laughing at that. But you've
Speaker 1: got to tell the other the story about when you
Speaker 1: came back from from New Face. Oh god, oh my god,
Speaker 1: this was so brittle, And this was funny because we're
Speaker 1: in Chris and I are in Montreal. We're backstage with
Speaker 1: Pete Holmes, Natasha Jero, Mosha Kash and we have them
Speaker 1: together that long, so we're in your in your heart, yeah,
Speaker 1: he was always there in my heart, but actually we're backstage.
Speaker 1: It was such a fun hang By the way, I
Speaker 1: loved it so much because we sit down and Pete
Speaker 1: Holmes immediately goes, who is this uh whatever? From hard?
Speaker 1: He said, I don't. I hate to you to repeat
Speaker 1: your own compliment, but he said, um, what's the word
Speaker 1: for when it's like comes easy to you naturally or
Speaker 1: like easily? He goes, who is this effortlessly handsome man?
Speaker 1: And I was just like, yes, this is my boyfriend, Chris.
Speaker 1: And the irony of that was he was like, I
Speaker 1: think he said, who's this effortless a handsome man in
Speaker 1: a white T shirt? The irony is I had just
Speaker 1: steamed the T shirt and Nikki's dressing. It was so funny,
Speaker 1: and he's like, I just haven't put my makeup on yet,
Speaker 1: christ and to put on what did you wear on
Speaker 1: top of you were wearing? So they asked me if
Speaker 1: I wanted to steam my outfit for this performance, And
Speaker 1: so the wardrobe person takes mine and Chris is in
Speaker 1: the room with me and he goes, is this so weird?
Speaker 1: Can I ask. She was really nice, and he was like,
Speaker 1: I just put this on. It was all wrinkled, was
Speaker 1: crumbled from you know, traveling. I was yeah, And so
Speaker 1: he goes, would it be? And I go, please ask?
Speaker 1: You got to do it. So he takes off a shirt.
Speaker 1: She's steaming it and he puts on my oversized denim
Speaker 1: jacket and he barely I think you did one button.
Speaker 1: And then Natasha and Mosha come in the room and
Speaker 1: I have forgotten that he's dressed, like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: moment exactly like when you were wearing the things my
Speaker 1: first impression. Yeah, and so he's wearing you can pull
Speaker 1: it off though you have a like you can pull
Speaker 1: it if anything. Mosha was like, man, I really like
Speaker 1: that look like motion dresses, like just like wow, one
Speaker 1: yeah it was. And then there was another moment the
Speaker 1: other day, Oh you were wearing books? You responded you
Speaker 1: did you? Did you mention it or did you? I mean,
Speaker 1: I think I think under the like without knowing me,
Speaker 1: because it's not crazy enough. It's it's just crazy enough
Speaker 1: that he might think I'm the coolest person alive, because
Speaker 1: without knowing me, you'd be like, man, this guy could
Speaker 1: be really cool. But then but then I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't. This isn't what I dressed, Like, yes, this
Speaker 1: is the first time meeting you. I don't dress with
Speaker 1: one button on a on a girlfriend's jean jacket. And
Speaker 1: as soon as I looked at my go, oh my god,
Speaker 1: he's having a short stage because I didn't. Which things
Speaker 1: just keep getting worse. And I love Mosha, like you know,
Speaker 1: he doesn't know me. I met him once before, and
Speaker 1: I think, I think there's so fun. We're both on
Speaker 1: our show not Safe. So Chris has met Pete and
Speaker 1: they gave him cod They keep apologizing to that too.
Speaker 1: I'm sure, I'm sorry I gave you COVID doll. I'm
Speaker 1: really sorry. Um, it's not a great Natasha, but it's
Speaker 1: a try. Um. And so we're backstage and oh, so
Speaker 1: this guy comes in, Um, Josh Lieberman. He's an agent,
Speaker 1: I believe, Yeah, maybe an agent. And I've known him
Speaker 1: since two thousand seven. He used to wrap my friend
Speaker 1: Chris Porter, who I was really good friends with them,
Speaker 1: and we were always hanging out with Josh and he
Speaker 1: was his agent. And I see Josh and Josh was
Speaker 1: in Montreal two thousand seven and also in two thousand
Speaker 1: and seven. I was, are you getting loan for the story?
Speaker 1: What is this the proposal happening right now? You're going
Speaker 1: to pose like that. It's not even on one knee.
Speaker 1: He's like Tony. He was a catcher for the Cardinals
Speaker 1: and he would catch like this. Oh that's cool. Every
Speaker 1: other catchers like this. Do you remember this guy? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's about the one that would throw people out in
Speaker 1: a second from his knees. Hijacked by sports. He was
Speaker 1: a bigball player. He played for to Marlin, Spanish catcher.
Speaker 1: He threw from it. I know, No, I don't know
Speaker 1: why he threw from his knees. What do you all right?
Speaker 1: We gotta go to Bradley. We'll be right back with
Speaker 1: the rest of this story. Where in the world is
Speaker 1: that guy Santiago? It was like a big thing, but anyhow, yeah,
Speaker 1: go ahead. Sorry, so, welcome back to the show. I'm
Speaker 1: in Montreal. We're backstage. Chris just proposed, by the way,
Speaker 1: it was wild. Nicky said maybe, yeah, I said, didn't
Speaker 1: think about it, um, And I give him an answer
Speaker 1: in four weeks when I can talk again. I really
Speaker 1: went up three weeks to think about this, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I just I feel like you deserve a verbal You
Speaker 1: could write it down on a piece of paper. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't have any pens A bigger ring.
Speaker 1: It's like that seems she's writing for a while. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: feels long. I just write out the directions to Jared. Uh,
Speaker 1: why please don't go to jard Would you go? Be
Speaker 1: a ring? Like? I don't even know what kind of
Speaker 1: ring i'd want. I think I really Subway Shane Company. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the Shane Company. You've got to see what the owner
Speaker 1: of Shane Company looks like. You look like the guy
Speaker 1: from Men's Warehouse. But by the way, I think Shane
Speaker 1: Company is almost it's like cross country because I've been
Speaker 1: in other markets that I've heard the same company. I
Speaker 1: didn't know that. At the corner of and Lee May
Speaker 1: Ferry um So and this guy Josh Lieberman, who was
Speaker 1: an agent that was was in Montreal with me. He
Speaker 1: pops his head in the room and I am triggered
Speaker 1: because I have not seen this guy since two thousand
Speaker 1: seven when I got back from Montreal. Montreal, for me,
Speaker 1: I nearly broke my hand. I was pursuing a guy
Speaker 1: who didn't like me and confess my attraction to him.
Speaker 1: He rejected me on the dance floor. It was very awkward. Um,
Speaker 1: I was drunk the whole time. My set did not
Speaker 1: go well. I was deeply interorectic because I was so
Speaker 1: nervous about it that I was like working out too much,
Speaker 1: trying to control things, and like I got there, I
Speaker 1: looked like a skeleton. Things were going well. No one
Speaker 1: remembered me from the new phases, and I was broken
Speaker 1: at the time, and I was temping, and it was
Speaker 1: just terrible. When you opened for GalF Nakis, did you
Speaker 1: do the joke again and do it with Facebook. No.
Speaker 1: I probably just dropped it from my step because I
Speaker 1: still didn't trust. But now as a more experienced comedian,
Speaker 1: I know it would have worked. I should just trust people.
Speaker 1: When I go to you know, when I go to Canada,
Speaker 1: I now change it. I don't say CVS, I say shoppers.
Speaker 1: I don't say fourth grade, I say grade four. You know,
Speaker 1: things like that. I make little adjustments. Um. I don't
Speaker 1: say fries with gravy on it and chief starts, I
Speaker 1: say putine. UM. I don't say uh, what's our other
Speaker 1: things anyway? So UM, I don't say about I say
Speaker 1: a boot. I don't say Toronto Toronto. I say Toronto.
Speaker 1: I've learned. So Josh Lee Raman pokes his head in
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh my god, this reminds me. I go, Josh,
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you you're a part of one of
Speaker 1: the most i opening moments of my life. I got
Speaker 1: two seven, I'm there. That's my story of Montreal. I
Speaker 1: come back and I don't know that i've I've done
Speaker 1: as portly as I've done. It's just I was drunk
Speaker 1: to notice. People need to know the lineup that you were.
Speaker 1: I mean it was. That's why I always tell people
Speaker 1: that are like, I want to go to new faces.
Speaker 1: It's every young comic stream and always like, every year
Speaker 1: you're rejected, you are going to be so much better
Speaker 1: when you finally go. You want to be the best there.
Speaker 1: You want to be the oldest. The comment that is
Speaker 1: the most years under the belt because no one goes
Speaker 1: look at this old guy on stage. They just go, wow,
Speaker 1: he blew everyone out of the water. Everyone else looks
Speaker 1: like amateurs. So I was on with Kurt Metzkurt, Tommy
Speaker 1: John again, Amy Schumer Um, Tom Sagura, uh and then
Speaker 1: many and then this other guy that's like the number
Speaker 1: one most famous person in the UK. He's like, I
Speaker 1: forget his name now, but he's he was huge even then,
Speaker 1: so I was completely forgettable in the lineup. Tom Papa
Speaker 1: was our m C. I remember that, and um he
Speaker 1: wasn't a new face, but he's just you know, help
Speaker 1: an hour from Ms Fedora and but I see Josh
Speaker 1: and I go Josh, and I was almost reluctant to
Speaker 1: tell Josh the story because it was such an fucking
Speaker 1: not It was almost the example that we talked about
Speaker 1: yesterday of someone telling a story where they are clearly
Speaker 1: not a nice person and they don't notice that in
Speaker 1: the story. Like it was me kind of being like,
Speaker 1: you were an asshole because but he didn't me too,
Speaker 1: And you know, I've changed, he's changed, Probably don't know
Speaker 1: he's still an agent, probably not. So he pops his
Speaker 1: head in and I go Josh, and we're about to
Speaker 1: go do this crowd work show. We're all kind of nervous.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I gotta tell the story. So we're at
Speaker 1: the improv. It's the week after we get back from Montreal,
Speaker 1: and I'm still kind of like, did I did anyone
Speaker 1: care about me being there like I didn't bomb, but
Speaker 1: it wasn't great, and there's a sneaking suspicion to me
Speaker 1: I might have done well, like I just I would
Speaker 1: just have bad self esteem. And I was drunk the
Speaker 1: whole time and I was more worried about this guy
Speaker 1: or whatever. So I in this circle. I remember it
Speaker 1: was Chris Porter, who was like a big deal at
Speaker 1: the time, and then Josh his his manager, and then
Speaker 1: some other big people, maybe David Tell, maybe Dmitri Martin.
Speaker 1: There was one night at the Improv where, like Doug Benson,
Speaker 1: a big circle of like people. I want to look
Speaker 1: impressive in front of people. I feel like an idiot
Speaker 1: even being in the same circle as and Josh. Something
Speaker 1: about Montreal came up, and Josh goes, guys, you should
Speaker 1: have seen Nicky Glazer at Montreal. She was so drunk
Speaker 1: and I thought I was almost starting to get for
Speaker 1: clemped at So I was like, Josh, stop, she was
Speaker 1: so wasted. That wasted is what he said, and I
Speaker 1: was crestfallen. It was because you thought he was going
Speaker 1: to say she was so amazing, and the way he
Speaker 1: started was like, guys, stop everything you need to hear.
Speaker 1: She blew me away with how fucking wasted she was,
Speaker 1: and it was devastating. It was one of those moments
Speaker 1: as some because I could feel like comics liking that story.
Speaker 1: I blacked out. That's when I like from embarrassment. I
Speaker 1: couldn't even mean that. You see comics being like you
Speaker 1: got funked up and you're like experienced comics would be
Speaker 1: like you got sunked up at New Faces, that everyone's
Speaker 1: wasted at Montreal, and he was talking about like after parties,
Speaker 1: and so it just was one of the first time
Speaker 1: I had heard about how ridiculous and like that me
Speaker 1: when I was because when you're drinking, you don't know
Speaker 1: how dumb you are and how you come across when
Speaker 1: you're around everyone thinks they're the reception that they're not
Speaker 1: as annoying as literally every other person you've ever seen
Speaker 1: that's drunk is annoying. You are that way too. You
Speaker 1: see his hand up Instagram. She just went to a
Speaker 1: wedding and she had people say like, Hi, love this bit. Hi,
Speaker 1: this is my first drink of the night, and then Hi,
Speaker 1: this is my last night and it is wet. I
Speaker 1: don't care if it's been done a to a ton
Speaker 1: of times. Keep them coming. They are so funny and
Speaker 1: they really give a lot of focus to how bad
Speaker 1: you look when you're drunk. And that was the first
Speaker 1: time it had occurred to me that, like, I might
Speaker 1: not be the best thing to be around when I'm drunk.
Speaker 1: It might be notable. And then there were several other
Speaker 1: but that was the one that I go, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: have to quit doing this at some point, you know,
Speaker 1: like where you just go, I know, I'm gonna have
Speaker 1: to let go of this at some point. It was
Speaker 1: that moment in a relationship where you go, we're not
Speaker 1: gonna make it, you know, like where it's like it's
Speaker 1: not now. I haven't felt that way with you in
Speaker 1: a couple of months, but, um, you know that moment
Speaker 1: where you go, I'm point dapted. I'm gonna have to
Speaker 1: leave this job. I'm gonna have to, like you just
Speaker 1: know the moment, you know. Taylor Swift wrote a song
Speaker 1: about it was when Jakoble and Hall didn't show up
Speaker 1: to her twenty first birthday. It was called the Moment
Speaker 1: you know, um And he was probably thirty two something
Speaker 1: like that, but he, um, yeah, her dad, you know
Speaker 1: what she references it not only in that song, but
Speaker 1: then again in the extent version of All two Well,
Speaker 1: she was like, um, you said, like you went to
Speaker 1: dad with uh and I blew out my candles and
Speaker 1: I stared at the door waiting you to come. And
Speaker 1: my dad said it should be fun. Turn in twenty
Speaker 1: one and it's like she couldn't have fun at her
Speaker 1: own birthday because this guy. And then in the song
Speaker 1: the Moment I knew she's talking about that birthday scene,
Speaker 1: which is a very cool callback that an artist will
Speaker 1: rewrite a song add new lyrics that reference a scene
Speaker 1: that you know very well from another song in a
Speaker 1: different perspective of it. That is very would be funny
Speaker 1: to do, like a version of her songs but actually
Speaker 1: say be very literal about because she's always like who
Speaker 1: is it? Who could it be? And it's like John.
Speaker 1: And also the song mad Woman where she says the
Speaker 1: Master of Spin has a couple side flings good wives
Speaker 1: always no, and it's like she's talking about the whole
Speaker 1: those song is about Scooter Braun and it's about you
Speaker 1: see she has a billboard on his way to work.
Speaker 1: She would see her face and he was like, and
Speaker 1: she talks about him, Scooter Braun and his wife, and
Speaker 1: she could calls out Scooter Braun for cheating and then
Speaker 1: say and so all of her fans went on Scoot
Speaker 1: Brown's wife's page and wrote good wives always know like
Speaker 1: hundreds and thousands probably of comments that was going to happen.
Speaker 1: And then now they're divorced. Are they really? I didn't
Speaker 1: know they got divorced? Yeah, wow, and they were like
Speaker 1: the perfect couple. She was like, that's my only contention
Speaker 1: with Taylor Swift is that that line. First, she wrote
Speaker 1: a bunch of look come back from that. You see
Speaker 1: three thousand comments that your husband cheated on you, you're not.
Speaker 1: That's That's my only beef with day And when I
Speaker 1: become friends with her some day, I'm going to ask
Speaker 1: her about it. But like, you can't that that that
Speaker 1: was a recent lyric. I mean that was off, I
Speaker 1: feel like evermore and it was like you knew what
Speaker 1: you were doing there, but that you know, I've done
Speaker 1: things like that to where you're just so vengeful you
Speaker 1: need to like hurt someone as much as possible. And
Speaker 1: she also had a vendetta against that woman because that
Speaker 1: woman also um really wronged her so it wasn't like
Speaker 1: she was just going after his wife, like this innocent wife.
Speaker 1: The wife wasn't on it too. She had an Instagram.
Speaker 1: I prefer the mean song Vendetta that that one feels
Speaker 1: like the right way, a good way of doing it.
Speaker 1: You're a liar and pathetic and in loan in life then, mean, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's pretty cruel. All about like a straightforward that one
Speaker 1: we're talking about like jokes and joke writing and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. You're going to host Kimmel pretty soon, which
Speaker 1: I think is like a massive, cool, really awesome deal.
Speaker 1: Now I know you did it like from like a home.
Speaker 1: It was like a remote thing during COVID is there?
Speaker 1: What is your approach to doing like, you know, the
Speaker 1: monologue for something like Kimmel And on yesterday's show, what's
Speaker 1: that that's going to be tonight? This episode is gonna
Speaker 1: oh yeah tonight tonight on I'm going to be on
Speaker 1: Kimmel tonight, so this will be Thursday's episode. Okay, cool, Yeah,
Speaker 1: so tonight check me on Kimmel. Please watch. Send ABC
Speaker 1: a message that you like Nicki Glazer, you'd like her
Speaker 1: in your lineup at some point, Um, I'm freaking out
Speaker 1: Chris because I said on yesterday's show, I woke up
Speaker 1: this morning and it's Tuesday, I'm hosting, and then I
Speaker 1: didn't fresh my teeth thin I'm never going back Jerry Seinfeld,
Speaker 1: and he pushed me away and then goes, now I'm
Speaker 1: doing UM and I've probably got my own gin brand. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they do. I'm going to want to do one. It's
Speaker 1: going to be called you were so um news. I UM.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling weird that I am not worried about it
Speaker 1: at all, and can I just Sarah why? And I've
Speaker 1: noticed that you were not at all because if I do,
Speaker 1: then it gives merit to the fact that it's a
Speaker 1: huge deal and then it won't start getting in my head.
Speaker 1: But I really want to treat it like I'm hosting
Speaker 1: a show every single day and this is I mean,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give it all my all, like I would
Speaker 1: if I did the show. But there's something about the
Speaker 1: producers haven't reached out to me. So if they're not
Speaker 1: freaking out, I'm taking as a side like they think
Speaker 1: I'm gonna trust them they know better than me if
Speaker 1: I'm going to be okay, Because there were sometimes I
Speaker 1: remember during Dancing with the Stars that I'm like, but
Speaker 1: I have to practice all every day And they were like,
Speaker 1: we've done this a lot. Trust us. Four hours a
Speaker 1: days all you need, and like you don't need more
Speaker 1: than that. That will be a bad thing for And
Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe it. But I trust that these
Speaker 1: people know they would be reaching out to me if
Speaker 1: they thought I had to. But I'm already thinking of
Speaker 1: jokes to write, and they I mean, one thing you've
Speaker 1: expressed to me is these guys are some of the
Speaker 1: best writers in television. There's the best producers. Jesse Joyce
Speaker 1: wrote like a bulk of Greg Giraldo's gross jokes and
Speaker 1: worked with him for a really long time. I mean,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, he was that dude. He's one of the
Speaker 1: best joke writers ever. And um, and I have to
Speaker 1: say this, I am so I'm so excited about the
Speaker 1: prospect of maybe ever hosting a late night talk show
Speaker 1: again because the collaboration involved like I thought, you know,
Speaker 1: I wrote to them initially and said, hey, I really
Speaker 1: want to have a monologue that stands alone, it can
Speaker 1: go viral, And I go, this is really a cool,
Speaker 1: unique idea that I want to go viral. I was
Speaker 1: just like kind of already like like rolling my eyes
Speaker 1: at myself for saying, like, who doesn't want to go
Speaker 1: viral with something? But I do feel, like I said,
Speaker 1: I want hard jokes. I want them to be like
Speaker 1: as perfect as roast jokes. I want to like really
Speaker 1: concentrate on them. Nothing not a wasted one. And they
Speaker 1: were very excited. They were like, we're so excited that
Speaker 1: we're working with someone who understands importance of like what
Speaker 1: this monolgue could be. And that was a lot of
Speaker 1: you Chris being like, let them know, like what you want,
Speaker 1: like communicate with them, let them know this is a
Speaker 1: big deal to you. They will you know this, this
Speaker 1: would mean something to them that it means something to
Speaker 1: you because they're among the best in the business, and
Speaker 1: I think you are as well. So it's like the
Speaker 1: collaboration between these two groups could lead to something really really.
Speaker 1: I also think like leaning into the funny, like I
Speaker 1: think you know, you hear a lot of stories about Fallon,
Speaker 1: like he won't do certain jokes because it doesn't fit
Speaker 1: within this certain persona that he and Kimmel is a
Speaker 1: little bit uh, I mean, as he's gotten older, he's
Speaker 1: a little less you know, dark or whatever, like showing
Speaker 1: I don't I mean, I obviously haven't watched this stuff
Speaker 1: in a while. Fearless. Yeah, I think you leaning into
Speaker 1: that as a writer to like you do. We all
Speaker 1: most stand up. The darker the joke, the more we laugh.
Speaker 1: And the fact that you're leaning and I know that
Speaker 1: when I that's why my roast sets have crushed so
Speaker 1: hard and gone viral because they're so dark and people
Speaker 1: it stands out, and especially a girl doing it, like
Speaker 1: people just don't see it coming. So I do want
Speaker 1: to do that, but I have to tow the line
Speaker 1: of like ABC CB, anyone who's watching that's the network
Speaker 1: world know that I am. I'm not going to do
Speaker 1: this kind of thing every So there's this like delicate
Speaker 1: bounce even what I'm wearing, Like we only we got
Speaker 1: into a little thing the other night because I got sensitive.
Speaker 1: I showed him what I was wearing and he was like,
Speaker 1: I like it, you know, like he gave me an
Speaker 1: adequate response, and then he was like, do you see
Speaker 1: you do remember what Ree Larson wore when she Guess hosted.
Speaker 1: I was like, I know what she wore. It wasn't
Speaker 1: exactly in that order. It was pretty No, that actually
Speaker 1: didn't hurt at all because I was in my life.
Speaker 1: No I'm saying, but I'm just like real in a
Speaker 1: real moment though, like yes, like what did wear? She
Speaker 1: just wore something that was it? Just she looks fantastic,
Speaker 1: was like perfect for her screenshot of it if we
Speaker 1: can afford it on the YouTube because it is a
Speaker 1: great but she is, well what I quickly said, I
Speaker 1: prefer I really liked what Nikki wore in her first
Speaker 1: Kimmel thing. It was one of my favorite things she's
Speaker 1: ever worn. I was getting text messages from people left
Speaker 1: and right about it, like people were like, this is amazing,
Speaker 1: So that's the look. That's that's my favorite look, and
Speaker 1: then Larson is my second favorite look, and then it's
Speaker 1: it's she. I was a little worried because I said
Speaker 1: to Chris, I was like, some people are telling me
Speaker 1: like I should be sexy, and some people are telling
Speaker 1: me I shouldn't. He was like, is it me? And
Speaker 1: I'm like, I think I know what Chris is saying here,
Speaker 1: and I know there's a lot of it's so good,
Speaker 1: but it's a great balance of extremely sexy and no
Speaker 1: one could get mad because it's like a tuxedo. So
Speaker 1: it's like it's a balance of like you, but you
Speaker 1: are not paying attention as much as if the boobs
Speaker 1: weren't out like that. But that not that I think.
Speaker 1: The other thing is that you don't get Really Nikki's
Speaker 1: already chosen this outfit. There's nothing else is going to
Speaker 1: happen between now and the time she does it. So
Speaker 1: even if I didn't love it or did you know,
Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do about it. There there was,
Speaker 1: We have time, and that's why I think I was
Speaker 1: So here's my here's my real deal opinion. And Andrew,
Speaker 1: I don't know how you feel this way. I personally,
Speaker 1: I personally have never seen a in this. You know,
Speaker 1: people might not like this, but I've never seen a
Speaker 1: woman in a suit and thought this looks awesome to me.
Speaker 1: I've just never seen it, and so that's that's just
Speaker 1: been my opinion for me. I think you look amazing
Speaker 1: this suit for that like side tits all the way down,
Speaker 1: it's going to be amazing. I'm sure it is, but
Speaker 1: but that is just my interesting thing. I've just never
Speaker 1: seen it. I find it. I don't know, maybe when
Speaker 1: they're not video or suit studio or whatever where they're
Speaker 1: all like slick back hair and there's suit suit studio.
Speaker 1: I think it was Robert Palmer, Yeah, whether yeah, but
Speaker 1: I think that's like a dress suit. No. I really
Speaker 1: do feel a lot of times, well it's a made
Speaker 1: up thing. That's kind of the whole thing. That why
Speaker 1: it's so stupid. Well, it wasn't the right video. I
Speaker 1: think you're talking about Robert Palmer addicted the love. My
Speaker 1: point is is like if I think a suit can
Speaker 1: be extremely feminine and the really hot, like with the
Speaker 1: I think wearing suits, it's them. It's them leaning into
Speaker 1: a masculine thing. And I think the problem I don't
Speaker 1: want to be too masculine on late I don't want
Speaker 1: to like Chris and I were trying to think that
Speaker 1: if I did late night, late night show, what would
Speaker 1: it be like? And it's like the problem why there's
Speaker 1: no ladies in late night doesn't work. It's like, because
Speaker 1: women are trying to fit into this masculine role, we
Speaker 1: need to feminize it a little bit to make us
Speaker 1: for a while. Well, here here's my stance on all
Speaker 1: of this stuff is it doesn't matter, Like you know,
Speaker 1: you're not doing it for the male gaze and you're
Speaker 1: not doing for me, Like that's just my preference. My
Speaker 1: actual opinion is where the thing that you're going to
Speaker 1: be most comfortable in and feel like the most badass,
Speaker 1: the most badass. That's that's that is my opinion on
Speaker 1: everything that you ever wear. But to me, does bree
Speaker 1: outfit When I look at it, I see like a
Speaker 1: sailor suit, Like I see a sailor outfit, but it's
Speaker 1: still address No, no, I agree, because you see a
Speaker 1: lot of semen on it. And now that I look
Speaker 1: at it again, yeah, I'm not a fan. Ah, there
Speaker 1: you go. Your kid fell out on? So what are we?
Speaker 1: Everything's it's gonna be great. Whatever you wear is gonna
Speaker 1: be great, quote unquote fell out. How do you feel
Speaker 1: about how do you feel about like the pants suit situation?
Speaker 1: I just like, I think it does have this connotation
Speaker 1: of serious, maybe like a little too serious for the moment,
Speaker 1: I mean business. I realized that, like dressing in that
Speaker 1: yellow dress for my special every time I see it
Speaker 1: pop up on my feet, I'm like, oh, who's that?
Speaker 1: I want to watch this because it's pleasing aesthetically to
Speaker 1: the eye. Not because I'm like I want to fund myself,
Speaker 1: but because I'm like, that's a pretty girl that it's
Speaker 1: drawing the eye. And that's why I always told Andrew, like,
Speaker 1: care about lighting when you're shooting a video, like make it,
Speaker 1: and he goes, I don't care about lighting. I don't
Speaker 1: care if I look good, and it's like it's but
Speaker 1: it's not about you. It's about it draws the eye.
Speaker 1: That's why when you put your phone in grayscale, you're
Speaker 1: not as drawn to it. Color pops of color like
Speaker 1: these are things that do attract the eye. So I
Speaker 1: made damn sure that my tips are out for this.
Speaker 1: But um, it is a really I think I feel
Speaker 1: sexual exactly what you're saying. The second I put it on,
Speaker 1: I was like, I almost start crying when I was
Speaker 1: pulling up the pants because they were so tight and
Speaker 1: they didn't really go on my thighs that well. But
Speaker 1: once um the jaws of life were flown in, we
Speaker 1: got them on and then I was like, this bitch
Speaker 1: is a television host. I feel so good. So that
Speaker 1: was you know, I got that was my Andy Shallows.
Speaker 1: It was made it so I'm like I'm able to
Speaker 1: encompass this role. That being said, I don't know what
Speaker 1: then I'm doing, Like I know that we're doing a
Speaker 1: field peace tomorrow, which we've done a lot of those together. Chris, Oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: you are going to be so And I made a
Speaker 1: point I said, I want to do a field piece.
Speaker 1: They said, by the way, I just like to say,
Speaker 1: the people sent me ideas for field pieces and they
Speaker 1: blew us away. I mean, I was like, this is
Speaker 1: this is top notch. I'm so impressed. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: at the idea of working with you guys, or like
Speaker 1: ever having a show like this where I can hire
Speaker 1: people this fucking good that could you know be you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm just like, God, if stand up
Speaker 1: comedians hired writers, it would be insane. It's like it's
Speaker 1: such a lone wolf pursuit. We could be so much
Speaker 1: better if we collaborated more. And a lot of a
Speaker 1: lot of those comics too. And when do you think
Speaker 1: you were talking about MSG yesterday or yeah, I was
Speaker 1: talking about the additive they m Yeah, and how you're
Speaker 1: still hungry? Um, No, you were talking you were thinking
Speaker 1: about like, oh, if I close my eyes and you'll
Speaker 1: see myself playing. Do you see yourself as a talk
Speaker 1: show host, because I see that. Yeah, I honestly see
Speaker 1: myself walking into work and like saying hi to people.
Speaker 1: That's how I picture that life is like the writer's rooms,
Speaker 1: the like you know, watching all these Conan clips of
Speaker 1: him backstage with Sonut just being silly with everyone and
Speaker 1: wearing like jeans pulled up high and likeing someone wet Willie.
Speaker 1: But here's the thing for my own What are you
Speaker 1: walking on their backs with heels and spikes? Yeah? What
Speaker 1: are you most excited about? Because we've got a monologue,
Speaker 1: we've got field pieces, and then we've got guests. You're
Speaker 1: so excited about. Goodnight everyone, Thanks for watching. Like that's
Speaker 1: when I'll feel like, I that's what I'm most excited about,
Speaker 1: to be honest with you, But most excited I'm excited
Speaker 1: about going. So check out the little piece we did, Like,
Speaker 1: I'm excited to pick to because I know that field
Speaker 1: piece is going to be fucking great because I remember
Speaker 1: when I did um a speed dating thing. The last
Speaker 1: time I hosted, they did a field piece where I
Speaker 1: speed dated online and their editors were so good. They
Speaker 1: whipped together this thing that was so funny, and I
Speaker 1: just know that I can trust them that they're going
Speaker 1: to put together whatever I do with these kids. And
Speaker 1: I've been watching that Recess Therapy I think is the
Speaker 1: name of the account. We're watching it last night. It's
Speaker 1: such a great account on Instagram, recess Therapy. You've got
Speaker 1: to follow it. Basically a kids say the darnedest thing,
Speaker 1: but for like Instagram, but edited way better, just so
Speaker 1: much better than Bill because he's not you know, rap
Speaker 1: Kid talked about a dragon and they eat people. I
Speaker 1: want to eat people. I want to eat. I want blood.
Speaker 1: And who's the other guest I'm sorry for Jamil and Danny?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's she's no, no, no no, she's um from
Speaker 1: the good place. She yeah, and she brought a video
Speaker 1: that I'm going to get tossed to that we're gonna
Speaker 1: And when as soon as I heard she was announced,
Speaker 1: I was like yes because I have a rapport with her.
Speaker 1: She's funny, she's a good laugher. All I have to
Speaker 1: do is set them up to be great. That's what
Speaker 1: it host. You know, when when I was lucky enough
Speaker 1: to go to your Falon show and and when he
Speaker 1: comes in, he's like, so, hey, So what do you
Speaker 1: want to what do you want to work like that
Speaker 1: little bit of like you really feel like you made
Speaker 1: it if you come in as the host and it's
Speaker 1: just that little conversation. Do I drop by and say
Speaker 1: hi to you? Belieah, you have to. He doesn't know
Speaker 1: who I am. Remember when Seth Meyers dropped in on you?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we we had broken up that day.
Speaker 1: Let's talk about it when we get back from break Okay,
Speaker 1: because this is this is such an insane story and
Speaker 1: that I have not gone into it. So when as
Speaker 1: much as you want, but I think it's so funny.
Speaker 1: We'll be back right after this. Okay, So stuff that
Speaker 1: happened before I know, but moment Okay, well that's a
Speaker 1: good point. Why do I always have to take it
Speaker 1: to like you need to know the whole story. You're like,
Speaker 1: jes laughs was creative. They're like, pease, don't go back
Speaker 1: to the Josh the agent she was. She was already
Speaker 1: killing it on last comic standing, and so she flew
Speaker 1: in like she could barely even fit in her schedule.
Speaker 1: It was like such an afterthought to her, so of
Speaker 1: course she did. Yeah, and she was you know then
Speaker 1: even then she was as gonna make you more nervous?
Speaker 1: Did she go before year? The first time I met her,
Speaker 1: we had been my Space first reached out to each
Speaker 1: other and would talk on the phone all the time.
Speaker 1: We developed our friendship long distance, and then we met.
Speaker 1: So the first time she ever seen you stand up
Speaker 1: was that set No, we had watched each other on
Speaker 1: on like clips of each other. Yeah, we were on
Speaker 1: different shows too, so she didn't even seem but sorry,
Speaker 1: so go ahead, so Seth Meyers. But Seth Meyers the yeah,
Speaker 1: we're backstage. And I only preface it with that because
Speaker 1: we had had a rough morning. We had a rough
Speaker 1: morning and we were broken up at this point, like
Speaker 1: you were just we had already broken up. And then
Speaker 1: I go, please, I just really want you at Seth
Speaker 1: Meyers will probably work on this, but even if we
Speaker 1: stay broken up, I'd still want you there, like just
Speaker 1: come with me, and and that's that's that's a person
Speaker 1: that I could never be. I don't think like if
Speaker 1: I just broke up with someone, I'm like, Okay, we
Speaker 1: broke up, but you come to a big event in
Speaker 1: my life that I still very mature, Like I just
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can don't understand how people
Speaker 1: can do that, and these moments are so big. Yeah
Speaker 1: for Glaze, like you just want her to be in
Speaker 1: her best So you probably had trouble going at some point,
Speaker 1: right or were you feeling like no? But one of
Speaker 1: my favorite things afterwards was when I told people I
Speaker 1: go I met Rob Reiner, and within one hour I
Speaker 1: was Me and Nikki were broken up. We broke up
Speaker 1: in the morning. He went to seth Meyers, then I
Speaker 1: went to go interview with Rob Reiner. We had a
Speaker 1: great Those were so much fun. We really connected during that.
Speaker 1: We still needed to talk about the breakup and like
Speaker 1: see if it was going okay. We made up after
Speaker 1: the Rob Briner thing. We were like, we're going to
Speaker 1: be good. Then we broke up again in that same
Speaker 1: conversation after we were like, we're back together. This was ridiculous.
Speaker 1: This morning we broke up in frustration in the morning,
Speaker 1: and then we broke up as like adults for like
Speaker 1: a logistical reason. I was an adult, but I'm just
Speaker 1: you were an adult. I was kidding. It was in
Speaker 1: the morning, yeah, she was an adult in the morning, yes,
Speaker 1: And at night we were very yeah, we were We
Speaker 1: both were like this, We've talked it out. We talked
Speaker 1: for like an hour and a half. An hour of that,
Speaker 1: we were like, this can work. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I'm gonna marry this guy. I was. I
Speaker 1: remember thinking like whoa for the first time in a
Speaker 1: really long time, I'm like, this has the potential to
Speaker 1: be lifelong. Like I could see myself with this person
Speaker 1: and the stuff we're talking about forever. And I was like, god,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I can't believe I'm here when this
Speaker 1: morning we like, I was like, there's no chance for this.
Speaker 1: And then within a half hour of feeling that, we
Speaker 1: we start talking down another road and it leads to
Speaker 1: complete breakup. And um yeah, it was like an hour
Speaker 1: and a half after meeting right now, but prior to that,
Speaker 1: prior to that Seth Meyers. So we we broke it up.
Speaker 1: In by break up. I showed back up at Seth
Speaker 1: Meyers and we're there. Was we were very happy to
Speaker 1: see each other, yes, and we were kissing, like just
Speaker 1: being like come here, let's just like enjoy this moment.
Speaker 1: Like that was ridiculous. This morning, we're still kind of
Speaker 1: broken up, but like it's funny that we are. So
Speaker 1: we're like he's leaning over my suitcase. I'm on the
Speaker 1: other side of it, and we're like kissing, like like
Speaker 1: meeting in the middle and like having a moment like
Speaker 1: I love you, I love you to like kissing. And
Speaker 1: then Seth Meyers like hey, walks in and just I
Speaker 1: think he was already it was like standing there witnessing
Speaker 1: up for a while and it just was like prit
Speaker 1: private about p d A and stuff like that, which
Speaker 1: you should be like everything, like even this conversation, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm proud of you, okay, were more embarrassing getting walked
Speaker 1: in with the denim jacket on or too, because like
Speaker 1: it just wasn't It's not that like the best. It's
Speaker 1: not a cool look. It looks like you're just a boyfriend.
Speaker 1: That's like I want to like, it wasn't about that
Speaker 1: for me. It was more about like like it was
Speaker 1: time for you and him to have a moment, and
Speaker 1: he walked in on your He didn't have a clean slate,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like I've ruined his moment
Speaker 1: with Nikki. From my perspective, it made my moment. It's
Speaker 1: memorable now. Otherwise it would have been, Oh he was nice,
Speaker 1: but it was like so funny. Um, yeah it was,
Speaker 1: and then he something has to happen at Jimmy Kimmel
Speaker 1: between you two, that's like something spicy. I'm going to
Speaker 1: be an Iceland. Yeah, it's gonna be an Iceland. I
Speaker 1: don't know how you're gonna be hanging out with Lava. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you're gonna be. I'm going to be. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: about like this trip is so did you see Hamish
Speaker 1: is I? Yes. Hamish and Vaughan, within the last two
Speaker 1: weeks have both gotten stung his friends near the near
Speaker 1: the eye by a bee wild biking. My dad got
Speaker 1: that too while biking and the bee flew down his
Speaker 1: shirt and my dad was freaking out so much that
Speaker 1: he flipped his bike and his tooth went through his
Speaker 1: um chin and he had to f stitches. And that's
Speaker 1: why we coined when a joke is really funny, We
Speaker 1: called a lip grabber because my dad, whenever he would smile,
Speaker 1: he would have to hold his lip because it would
Speaker 1: split open because of decisions. So he'd go, oh, that's
Speaker 1: a real lip grabber. It was all because of a bee.
Speaker 1: But his friend Hamish Hamish Blake, who you gotta follow
Speaker 1: on Instagram because he does the funniest stuff. He might
Speaker 1: be the funniest man Hamish Andy, And yeah he's going
Speaker 1: on a trip with these guys. And yeah Andy Lee
Speaker 1: as well. Remember both going and he's not Hamish is
Speaker 1: now Andy's not going, Hamish is going. But yeah, both
Speaker 1: of these guys. These are two of the funniest people
Speaker 1: on the planet. And they've got a show called Hamish
Speaker 1: and Andy, and I mean it's so charming, so funny.
Speaker 1: If people just want a no brainer like Ed Sheer
Speaker 1: and Hamish and Andy, you will get a really good
Speaker 1: idea of who these guys are. Yeah, if if you're
Speaker 1: ever at a thing around a computer and trying to
Speaker 1: make people laugh, whether it's your mom. I mean, these
Speaker 1: guys are clean, they're family friendly. It is universally there,
Speaker 1: the universally maybe the most funny people that have ever lived.
Speaker 1: And I cannot believe the U S has not like
Speaker 1: just grabbed onto them and forced them to be here
Speaker 1: because they are so fucking good. But um, they Hamish Andy.
Speaker 1: I would google um Hamish Nandy, Ed Sheer and that
Speaker 1: one was great Hamish Nandy. Um uh, what's the pickup
Speaker 1: artist one? Or like the pickup wing Man, Ultimate Wingman,
Speaker 1: Ultimate Wingman when he was the Bodybuilder. Oh, the Bodybuilding
Speaker 1: I produced that. Yeah, Chris met them on the show
Speaker 1: that they did in America. What um, so you get
Speaker 1: your eyes stung by? Does that affect your site or
Speaker 1: is he worried? I don't think he get stung Like
Speaker 1: in the eyeball. It was just like really close and
Speaker 1: so that both of their eyes got all puffed up.
Speaker 1: So we're sending each other pictures back and forth, and Hamish,
Speaker 1: we got one from Vaughan that was like his eye
Speaker 1: his eye was shut, swelled shot and he was just
Speaker 1: got one too. You gotta get one, we gotta we
Speaker 1: got to get stung. Get getting stung feels like it's
Speaker 1: going to be like a new thing. Well, Hammis is
Speaker 1: a huge hilarious video up this morning of like being
Speaker 1: like guys and he's covering up his eyes like I
Speaker 1: went to the doctor. I had some work done. What
Speaker 1: do you think And it just looks like he just
Speaker 1: had a bunch of you know, facial surgery and he's like, listen,
Speaker 1: I know this is probably I don't know it's gonna
Speaker 1: it still has to like settle in. I might get
Speaker 1: the other one done. The doctor a little suspicious. It
Speaker 1: was a b he is and he was like, you go,
Speaker 1: where is his training? Like um, and he goes and
Speaker 1: now he's dead. So that's gonna be a little that's
Speaker 1: a little bit of a red flag. It's just it's
Speaker 1: so cute, so funny. Hamish Blake is his name, and
Speaker 1: you can search on on Instagram and you'll see that
Speaker 1: he has one point two million followers. So you're not
Speaker 1: gonna be alone and thinking he's hilarious. Final thought, you're
Speaker 1: doing an eleven day It's like I think it's we're
Speaker 1: gonna be together for ten eleven days to be bike
Speaker 1: bike riding and yeah. It's it's basically like a yeah,
Speaker 1: and you all do a group in cabins hotels, maybe
Speaker 1: like a soccer rock in front of the lava. But
Speaker 1: they have their bags, all of the all of their
Speaker 1: bags are on a like a Hummer type car that's
Speaker 1: going to drive from place to place. It's like a
Speaker 1: meet you at your destination. It's like a huge adventure van.
Speaker 1: It's like a follow van, so that it's going to
Speaker 1: take us to different places and then we're gonna ride
Speaker 1: for how many miles? Some of them I think are
Speaker 1: like seventy miles. Yes, some of the rides, and then
Speaker 1: some of them are more about like going up the mountains.
Speaker 1: Some of them are more about like getting cranking out
Speaker 1: distances and yeah, like going through cool areas to a
Speaker 1: hot spring. Do you bring your own bike? Usually we
Speaker 1: do this time we're getting bikes when we get over
Speaker 1: um They do this every year. It has been delayed
Speaker 1: two years in a row because of cocoa and um
Speaker 1: co Conan O'Brien. Here's my recommendation about the things like this.
Speaker 1: If you have a group of friends, because that's a lot.
Speaker 1: Always it's so hard to get together, especially as you
Speaker 1: get older. It's just people have kids and all these
Speaker 1: things happen. But there is something about getting a small
Speaker 1: group of friends. This is five of us, so it's
Speaker 1: me plus four other guys. It's so important to have
Speaker 1: like trip adventure trips on the books with friends you
Speaker 1: don't get to see very often. You get to text
Speaker 1: all year long about how excited you are, and then
Speaker 1: then the next half of the year is about how
Speaker 1: great it was, and then you put another trip on
Speaker 1: the books, and then it's the anticipation, you know, if
Speaker 1: you playing something six months out with your friends. You
Speaker 1: guys are getting excited about it. Four six months I get.
Speaker 1: I gotta say though, before trips mean no excited no
Speaker 1: matter what it is, even girls trip. Noah, I was
Speaker 1: like stressed about like oh, the travel and like everyone
Speaker 1: getting there and like we have to get the right
Speaker 1: food and make sure, like I get stressed by that stuff. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but you are. You're on the road constantly, Like Noah,
Speaker 1: were you stressed about it? Were you thinking? Like always,
Speaker 1: I always stressed about travel, Like the act of traveling.
Speaker 1: I do not enjoy it. I don't enjoy packing or
Speaker 1: preparing for it. But once I'm in the other place,
Speaker 1: I lose all of that and I enjoy myself. I
Speaker 1: know it's worth it, and you just got to remember that.
Speaker 1: It's always like that. I remember Noah having a sense
Speaker 1: of relief on the Girl's Chat right before the trip
Speaker 1: when one person asked like, Hey, are we going to
Speaker 1: any like nice dinners or anything, And I was like, guys,
Speaker 1: I don't plant. I don't plan on us leaving like
Speaker 1: I love this is what I'm bringing. We are not
Speaker 1: dressing up like no one's and honestly, we can all
Speaker 1: share each other's clothes. We're all around the same size.
Speaker 1: And she was just like, and we did, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. I needed to hear that. I think depending
Speaker 1: on how long the trip is, travel is more important.
Speaker 1: So like let's say you have a ten day trip.
Speaker 1: Oh no, my flight got delayed. I lost a day
Speaker 1: still of nine days, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: So like that weekend for you worried about the delays,
Speaker 1: I'm worried about. Just are you worried about? And I'm
Speaker 1: worried about you only had a weekend, you only had
Speaker 1: two nights. I wasn't worried about the travel at all,
Speaker 1: like of delays that for some reason, So what was
Speaker 1: the travel parts then I was worried about. I was
Speaker 1: honestly more worried about everyone getting there in time, making
Speaker 1: sure everyone has no no, no, well no, just like people.
Speaker 1: It's just making sure that just are feeling alone, not
Speaker 1: feeling like they have a friend. Like it's like things
Speaker 1: running smoothly and people having fun. Like worried about eleven
Speaker 1: girls emotions and making sure that they're having a good
Speaker 1: time girls that you've brought together. What are you packing
Speaker 1: for this trip? You need like some so the only
Speaker 1: way a guy like you don't get trash. We thought
Speaker 1: about it. Yeah, fan tracks please than was that you, Sery?
Speaker 1: That's oh my god, that's so bluddy. That's good. I
Speaker 1: liked it all right, Noah, alright, So let's start off
Speaker 1: with Kyle. Hi, besties, it is your best to Kayo
Speaker 1: calling from Orlando. UM. I miss hearing you guys four
Speaker 1: times a week. Nicky, I hope you're getting the rest
Speaker 1: that you need right now. UM, and I'm eager for
Speaker 1: you all to be back, UM, whenever you're able to.
Speaker 1: I'm calling today because Nicky, you've helped me really identify
Speaker 1: a lot of addiction that I have had consistently in
Speaker 1: my life. Most recently, I've been trying to cut out weed. UM.
Speaker 1: I smoked pretty much every day for the past like
Speaker 1: five years. UM. And I am someone that has a
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety, and I think we'd really triggers panic
Speaker 1: in me a lot of the time. And with that, UM,
Speaker 1: I've I've experienced quite a bit of hair loss. I'm
Speaker 1: twenty three years old and I feel the same way
Speaker 1: about my hair that Taylor Swift said she feels about
Speaker 1: her body and her eating and her documentary when she
Speaker 1: said that it has the strength to control her whole
Speaker 1: entire life. That's literally how I feel. I know that
Speaker 1: I don't need to go into that a lot because
Speaker 1: you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. Also, Um, like,
Speaker 1: whenever I smoke, I literally could feel hair follicles just
Speaker 1: like getting zapped off of my head. I don't know.
Speaker 1: So I cut out weed recently. It's been about five
Speaker 1: days without it. Now. I've had a really unhealthy relationship
Speaker 1: with it, and I'm kind of struggling right now because
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's benefiting me or not to
Speaker 1: not be smoking weed at least once a day. I
Speaker 1: don't know. I wish I had more time. I love
Speaker 1: you so much. I love you, Kyle. Holy shit. Um
Speaker 1: five days is amazing. And UM, I do want to
Speaker 1: say that Alan car now has a weed solution. And
Speaker 1: Alan Carr was the one that I used to quit
Speaker 1: smoking cigarettes and drinking. And recently I talked to them
Speaker 1: and I was like, why don't you guys have a
Speaker 1: weed one and they were like, oh, we do, And
Speaker 1: so you could look into that. Um, there's also Marijuana
Speaker 1: Anonymous m A and you could google that and there's
Speaker 1: like zoom meetings happening all over if you want to
Speaker 1: get support for that. There's also the subread it leaves
Speaker 1: for people who want are leaving marijuana, and there's a
Speaker 1: lot of support there that has helped me so much
Speaker 1: and like getting me it's just people that are relapsing
Speaker 1: all the time and being like I wish I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have done that that. But listen, man, if you you've
Speaker 1: heard me talk about this before, the best way to
Speaker 1: let go of this is to be be very nice
Speaker 1: to yourself about it. So if let's say, by the
Speaker 1: time I've heard this message, you're already smoking again, which
Speaker 1: I'm guessing you are, because it sounded like you were
Speaker 1: a little bit like what is this even doing for me?
Speaker 1: And which is always the kind of thing I think
Speaker 1: about right before I start doing it again, of like,
Speaker 1: am I even like my life is still ship and
Speaker 1: this isn't even working? Um, just allow yourself to have
Speaker 1: it and know that it's the only thing you have
Speaker 1: right now to cope with your feelings. But and you'll
Speaker 1: if you are accepting of that and being like, I'm
Speaker 1: not a bad person, I'm just trying to feel good.
Speaker 1: You're not. If you're not driving, you're not harming other people,
Speaker 1: and you're just harming yourself, Like there's really nothing to
Speaker 1: feel bad about. You're just No one wants to feel bad.
Speaker 1: No one wants to be an addict. So just be
Speaker 1: kind to yourself and know that what if you're smoking weed,
Speaker 1: that you're doing it because you're in pain, right, and
Speaker 1: if there was a other solution, you would fucking do it.
Speaker 1: But there's not, clearly, but there are ones out there,
Speaker 1: you just haven't found them yet. And so be nice
Speaker 1: to yourself because it's the only way it's going to
Speaker 1: go away. Because if you're mean to yourself about it,
Speaker 1: the only way to soothe the anxiety you feel after
Speaker 1: being mean to yourself is to smoke more weed, and
Speaker 1: so it'll just make you do more. And the hair
Speaker 1: loss thing, like he's sad about. I mean a lot
Speaker 1: of probably, but the hair loss like like the sadness
Speaker 1: of the hair loss, and then you turn to weed
Speaker 1: to try to, you know, escape it. But really it's
Speaker 1: just making compound. Yeah, I mean, I don't think weed
Speaker 1: is making your hair fall out, but it's certainly when
Speaker 1: you get high, you're super aware of things and things
Speaker 1: feel different in your sensory stuff. Marvin, he was bald
Speaker 1: since he was like twenty at the Stunner at his
Speaker 1: story where he didn't smoke weed a lot, but he
Speaker 1: was he'd go on fishing trips and Panama and he's like,
Speaker 1: I was at the l Gotto Negro and it was
Speaker 1: the name of the bar, and he's like, I was
Speaker 1: so high I could feel my hair grow. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: really do think you're right the anxiety of losing your hair,
Speaker 1: and that is you're losing your hair because you're you
Speaker 1: have that gene. You're not losing it necessarily because you're
Speaker 1: smoking weed. I don't think the two are connected, but
Speaker 1: what do I know. I'm sure you could have googled
Speaker 1: it and and it is connected in some way. It's
Speaker 1: not helping for sure, because in relation in relation of
Speaker 1: smoke just cuts off blood flow and it's just not
Speaker 1: good for you. I would really um forgive yourself for
Speaker 1: losing your hair because you didn't choose to. If you
Speaker 1: could push a button and have hair, you would. You're
Speaker 1: not a bad person because you're losing your hair. You
Speaker 1: just got a different set of genes than other people
Speaker 1: that have full heads of hair. And also, like two
Speaker 1: pays look fucking great right now. They do and also
Speaker 1: maybe don't have the money for it, but hair transplant
Speaker 1: is always an option. There's things down the road that
Speaker 1: you'll be able to do. And um, you're obsessing over
Speaker 1: the hair because there's something else going on here. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I mean the hair thing is very real for real,
Speaker 1: especially for young men that are losing hair. I'm forty
Speaker 1: and my stuff is receding and thinning at a level
Speaker 1: that I'm not comfortable with. So Kyle, I I have
Speaker 1: a like a hint of what you're going through, but
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure at a younger age it's much
Speaker 1: tougher and that it takes a toll on you and
Speaker 1: that will lead you, know if if you've got a
Speaker 1: few other things going on, a hair loss situation for
Speaker 1: a young man will help put you into a bit
Speaker 1: of a spiral. So it is really, really tough, and
Speaker 1: I definitely understand to a certain extent where you're going through,
Speaker 1: and I'm sorry that you're going through that. I really
Speaker 1: would avoid any kind of thing that is going to
Speaker 1: make you feel worse about not having hair, Like sometimes
Speaker 1: I like to like look up men like this look
Speaker 1: that I don't have, and I like really like surround
Speaker 1: myself with that thing I don't have, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: it validates, like you are worthless because you so don't
Speaker 1: read stuff about how women are men. I don't know
Speaker 1: who your affinity is for or maybe no one, maybe
Speaker 1: you're sexual, I don't fucking know. But whatever is making
Speaker 1: you feel like this is gonna hold me back in life.
Speaker 1: Stop reading and consuming those things because it's not true,
Speaker 1: like bald baldness, like uh, can you I mean fucking
Speaker 1: look at bezos, like you can be well, I know,
Speaker 1: but it can inspire you to do other things and
Speaker 1: like oh yes, yes, yes, yes. Also my first boyfriend
Speaker 1: was bald. I didn't give a I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: I'm kind of bald blind, hype blind. I don't if
Speaker 1: you love someone. And remember the day I realized like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I love this man was when you
Speaker 1: were talking about not wanting to take a medication because
Speaker 1: you heard a side effect was hair loss, and I
Speaker 1: was like, I almost laughed because I was like, that
Speaker 1: wouldn't I would never care if you like it just
Speaker 1: wouldn't register to me. But I understand I'm not invalidating,
Speaker 1: you know, I don't think you're invalidating. It is tough
Speaker 1: because some people will be like, oh, you could just
Speaker 1: go you know, if this is happening to you, just
Speaker 1: go stay them and just do this. And you know,
Speaker 1: a lot of this stuff it isn't an option for
Speaker 1: a lot of people. And like some people will be like,
Speaker 1: you know, propriitia does work for a lot of men,
Speaker 1: but there there's a small percentage where there's a small
Speaker 1: side effect that is horrible. And then there's monoxidil, which
Speaker 1: actually does work. I'm sure, Kyle, I mean if he's
Speaker 1: I'm using stuff right now, it's right, yeah, And you
Speaker 1: know there there are little things that you can do
Speaker 1: to help it that doesn't it's the emotional impact of
Speaker 1: of like you know, it's you're you're confronting that you're
Speaker 1: deteriorating body at a very young age. And Kyle, there's
Speaker 1: just there's other guys that are feeling the way you do,
Speaker 1: and you know it's I know that doesn't help either.
Speaker 1: But a lot of men are going through this, and
Speaker 1: you know there are people that are working on solutions.
Speaker 1: But there are minor solutions that work for some men
Speaker 1: that you can find. Um, you know, some of those
Speaker 1: are on Reddit and you can on them. There but monoxidil.
Speaker 1: You know, there's studies it does work, stride or whatever.
Speaker 1: I put both on my hap. I think I've been
Speaker 1: doing it every night, and honestly, like it feels thicker here.
Speaker 1: You know, my brother is fully bald. It's funny. I
Speaker 1: was like, damn, you know, I think I'm going bald.
Speaker 1: You know, He's like, you're forty two. You made it
Speaker 1: like like that's the other thing to think about, Like
Speaker 1: like you made it to the other thing. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: come to terms with it in some degree. But I
Speaker 1: just I understand what Kyle is going through and the
Speaker 1: other thing that he's going through. And this is a
Speaker 1: tough one. Is is he addicted to weed it? Does
Speaker 1: he have addiction issues? You know? Or is he or
Speaker 1: is he like depressed? And this is just a coping mechanism.
Speaker 1: I think it's a tough thing to identifying if he
Speaker 1: does have addiction issues. All of these things, all all
Speaker 1: addiction issues will get worse and worse and worse until
Speaker 1: they're addressed. And I do agree with everything that NICKI said. Um,
Speaker 1: but if you do think you have addiction shoes, it's
Speaker 1: you know, there are obviously programs out there that can
Speaker 1: help you, and it will continue to get worse. I really,
Speaker 1: you know, the last time I stopped smoking weed, it
Speaker 1: fell away, Kyle, because I read the first third of
Speaker 1: the book Coming Alive. I'm not kidding you. There is
Speaker 1: a tool in there about um impulsive behavior, things you
Speaker 1: want to do impulsively and how to deal whether it's
Speaker 1: like acting out sexually, acting out with drinking. Like, there's
Speaker 1: this one tool that they talked about in the very
Speaker 1: beginning of it, I mean the first third, and I
Speaker 1: have not I've had one desire to smoke weed since then,
Speaker 1: and I use that tool again to go Okay, focus
Speaker 1: on the desire. Okay, imagine just feel inside yourself like
Speaker 1: that they kind of run through these steps that I
Speaker 1: run through and then it goes away. So I that
Speaker 1: is also something. But I really do recommend, if you're
Speaker 1: ever available able to get into a twelve step program
Speaker 1: for anything that you have. And this is to anyone listening,
Speaker 1: whether it's like you have an alcoholic in your life
Speaker 1: and you could go to alan On. You mean literally
Speaker 1: everyone qualifies for allan On because everyone is front with
Speaker 1: at least an alcoholic or works next to one or something.
Speaker 1: Those support groups are incredible and it's free, and you
Speaker 1: will find people there that you know, it's not all
Speaker 1: talking about the addiction. Is talking about how it teaches
Speaker 1: you how to love yourself, because that is what the
Speaker 1: core problem with addiction is, is that you feel not enough.
Speaker 1: You feel this dis ease with your own self. You're
Speaker 1: not enough. You've got to consume something to get out
Speaker 1: of the feelings. And it's just really helped a lot
Speaker 1: of people that I'm very close to that might even
Speaker 1: be me. Yeah, I mean that, But one of the
Speaker 1: people I'm most close to in my life is somebody
Speaker 1: who's been sober for fourteen years and he went from
Speaker 1: being you know, just like, you know, a normal slightly
Speaker 1: you know, a bit not friendly sometimes to now be
Speaker 1: the happiest person I know. And he has worked the
Speaker 1: steps and he has embraced the program and he's the
Speaker 1: happiest person that I Yeah, if there's something to it, Okay,
Speaker 1: let's can we do one more? No? Yes? Please? And Nikki,
Speaker 1: I need you to promise that you will not dream
Speaker 1: when you hear this. Oh my god, Taylor Swift, go
Speaker 1: on promise me, Okay, not gonna scream scream. Let's pretend
Speaker 1: I'm in silent mode. All right, we got Rebecca Hina
Speaker 1: Druki o G pod listener Rebecca from Philly here as
Speaker 1: a part of the exclusive Bestie and Swifty Gang. I
Speaker 1: feel like it's my duty to let Nikki know that
Speaker 1: the SoundBite from Welcome Home Nicki Glaser where she talks
Speaker 1: about how Taylor Swift is her best friend but doesn't
Speaker 1: know her is now on TikTok. It has been used
Speaker 1: in several videos, and those videos have actually been liked
Speaker 1: by Taylor Swift herself. There have been no other developments
Speaker 1: and potential friendship goals, but just now I'll be looking
Speaker 1: out in my own personal mission called Besties anal eyes
Speaker 1: Swift Ease and so yeah, thank you guys, love you
Speaker 1: love the pod, Love Brenna kisses and Janitor Bye, Janitor Nice?
Speaker 1: Can you react how Nikki should have reacted? Andrew? And
Speaker 1: then know what you do? One? What know? What can
Speaker 1: you do with what I can even do? The high pitch?
Speaker 1: But you do have a impression of what I would
Speaker 1: say right now? Like your best guess at what at
Speaker 1: what you would do? Well? I like the on you
Speaker 1: one where you're just like, well that's out of frustration.
Speaker 1: What if I did my little John impression, I don't have.
Speaker 1: I think that's what I kind of did. Okay. My
Speaker 1: response to this is Okay. Taylor Swift obviously knows I exist,
Speaker 1: all right, so she's commented on my Instagram before my
Speaker 1: apology to her. She has also there have been fans
Speaker 1: of mine that have met her backstage and she They've
Speaker 1: been like, oh, Nikki Glazer loves you do know her?
Speaker 1: And she goes, is that the girl that said I'm
Speaker 1: a bad dancer? So I want to go on record
Speaker 1: and say that I did say Taylor Swift was a
Speaker 1: bad dancer once because I justified being on Dancing with
Speaker 1: the Stars because I was like, Taylor Swift is not
Speaker 1: a good dancer, and she does it she looks cool,
Speaker 1: so maybe I could, And it was not right. It
Speaker 1: was not how I actually feel about Taylor Swift dancing.
Speaker 1: I actually think she's way better of me. She get
Speaker 1: that bitch can do the splits on a car like she.
Speaker 1: I've tried to learn the dances she learns they are
Speaker 1: very difficult. She's a good dancer, so she's aware of me.
Speaker 1: I've met her. Um, but this is really good news,
Speaker 1: and I am fucking like my insides are like things
Speaker 1: are happening inside my body right now. Because Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: does not often like things, and that's how she operates.
Speaker 1: She's very shifty in a great way. She's swifty, swift fifty,
Speaker 1: and she likes things to just to just remind us
Speaker 1: the swifties, Like, I'm very aware of something I cannot
Speaker 1: believe no one else has told me this. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much for being on the lookout. Please DM me
Speaker 1: personally any updates and right Taylor Swift update. If you
Speaker 1: see any more likes, please send me videos where this
Speaker 1: is being used. Because I am not on TikTok. I
Speaker 1: do not see this clip being used. I do know
Speaker 1: that it was a great sound bite, and I'm glad
Speaker 1: the swifty community has embraced it. But um, Taylor Swift
Speaker 1: is my best friend and she doesn't know it or
Speaker 1: something like that. It was something like that, but it
Speaker 1: really is like I feel that way. The other day,
Speaker 1: Phoebe Bridgers, it was her birthday, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I have to wish her happy birthday because I spend
Speaker 1: more time with Phoebe Bridgers than I do with any
Speaker 1: of my friends. Really, like she's talking to me and
Speaker 1: singing to me constantly. Um, and it felt like it
Speaker 1: feels like we're friends. And that's why whenever someone says
Speaker 1: I feel like you're my friend, or someone goes you're
Speaker 1: my tailor swift, I'm always like I get it, girl
Speaker 1: or guy. Yeah, I try to reach out to Whitney
Speaker 1: Houston constantly. Yeah, through the weji board anything. I watched
Speaker 1: The Bodyguard. I just want to close by showing you
Speaker 1: my first head shot. Um. Actually I want to close
Speaker 1: by showing you a book of my first head shots
Speaker 1: and just like there's a whole book. Yeah, I wrote
Speaker 1: a book about it. Oh my god, I've seen these.
Speaker 1: These are so I love your face and these Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's like your own yearbook. It is so insane,
Speaker 1: but I do this this picture. Uh, this was the
Speaker 1: girl that went to Montreal and drank too much. This
Speaker 1: was right? Yeah it is. Yeah, I love this fresh
Speaker 1: face girl. I'm a huge fifteen years ago. Is this
Speaker 1: even reminiscent on my face? Now? Like? What's going on?
Speaker 1: How have I? Yeah? There's definitely. I mean I feel
Speaker 1: like she's just like a little are your face and
Speaker 1: you're like there's like a cherubic quality to them. I'm
Speaker 1: still doing my makeup the exact same way, and my
Speaker 1: hair was very full. That red is a good color
Speaker 1: on me. That's a nice reminder. My eyebrows look a
Speaker 1: little spermy, but that's okay. My bottom lip or my
Speaker 1: top lip is non existent, which it usually is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean I feel like I don't look so different,
Speaker 1: but she is. She's got a lot more fat on
Speaker 1: her face. What a baby face is? Yeah, she's she's
Speaker 1: a cutie. She's got a lot to learn. Girl, you're
Speaker 1: gonna go what would you say to that girl? Right,
Speaker 1: I'd say bitch read Alan Carr sooner than later. And
Speaker 1: then I have this picture of me and Chris at
Speaker 1: a wedding. Um, now what would you say to this?
Speaker 1: Say to this girl the show is over and wet?
Speaker 1: Oh well, I gotta put some of those on my
Speaker 1: Instagram story because this is the type of heat shot
Speaker 1: you take when they're like, we want to give them
Speaker 1: different looks, like so you could play the librarian role.
Speaker 1: It's like, how many librarian roles are coming up that
Speaker 1: I have to do this sexy like, I mean, this
Speaker 1: might be the most relatable looking person I've ever Really,
Speaker 1: why didn't I book anything from it. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Was that book that was us? Not that long ago? UM? Yeah, alright, guys,
Speaker 1: we gotta go. Thank you so much for listening to
Speaker 1: the show this week. We will be back next week
Speaker 1: with four shows. It will be the last week before
Speaker 1: I go on break, but we were going to have
Speaker 1: content for you during the break. UM, so make sure
Speaker 1: to check out those episodes. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: supporting the show. Come see me in Vegas September two.
Speaker 1: Go see Andrew at Zenies in Nashville on UM. If
Speaker 1: you can please plan trips around those those dates, that
Speaker 1: would be so fun and meet and greets afterwards first
Speaker 1: with friends. Things will look forward to. Love you guys
Speaker 1: so much. Thank you for listening. UM, don't be cat
Speaker 1: and is that anything I don't know anymore anymore with
Speaker 1: these things mm hmm